Here’s an explanation to all those Karamel haters out there that call us homophobics as to why I, as a bisexual young girl, ship Karamel & Sanvers, and not Superc*rp (let me emphasize Sanvers, another lesbian couple, that I don’t post a lot about simply because I love Karamel more than Sanvers).
When I heard that this season a character from Supergirl was gonna became homosexual, I was really excited. There hadn’t really been a good representation of LGBT couples in DC shows, except Nyssa&Sara (which I miss a lot), so it was amazing for me, because only last year I realized I might be attracted to not only boys but also girls, and it took me some time to get used to and accept that it’s totally normal (let me say that I’m born in a very homophobic society that even my very open-minded parents aren’t so warm to the idea of homosexuality). And when I saw Alex and Maggie, I knew they were the couple. Alex would be lesbian.
I absolutely enjoyed Sanvers storyline, especially Alex’s struggle with her feelings for Maggie and accepting that she might be lesbian after all, because it felt so close to how I felt. I understood her struggle, I understood her feelings, I understood why she couldn’t immediately tell her family and why she couldn’t immediately accept that she was lesbian, because I went through it all. I felt exactly like her last year, and it was my friends that helped me see that it was totally normal to be who I am. I found that in Alex’s character, and her relationship with Maggie will be an amazing role model for young girls out there who struggle with their feelings. It’s that struggle that made me appreciate Alex even more, because let me tell you, it isn’t an easy thing to accept for anyone. Only a minority of people are homosexual (I’m not saying it as a bad thing) and when you see straight people having relationship while there are no homosexual couples (at least in my country) it is really, really hard. Which is why it was easy for me to love Sanvers and empathize with Alex.
However, I don’t see the same thing with Kara. Now it’s totally possible that Kara might be bisexual, that she might also be attracted to women, but the writers didn’t build her character like that. They wanted her to be straight, at least in my opinion. And one reason that I don’t want Kara to suddenly be bisexual is that, as I pointed out, there’s no build up to that, not like Alex. I’m bisexual, and someone that thought she was straight for 16 years, yet I didn’t suddenly become bisexual. It was a process. It started with seeing a girl and thinking I felt something different for her, something I shouldn’t be feeling. Even when I thought I was straight I had these feelings, and I struggled to repress them. I thought they were wrong. I don’t see any of that with Kara, which makes it really hard for me to emphatize with her. That is why I don’t want her to be bisexual, because it would be undermining the struggle I went through to get where I am, the process of realizing, trying to get rid of, and finally making peace with my feelings. It’s true that we need more representation of LGBT on TV, but making everyone LGBT out of nowhere undermines the real struggle people go through in real life. Just as shows build up straight relationships intricately, LGBT relationships need and deserve the same build up so that people can empathize with them. Kara doesn’t have that now, and maybe will never have that, and it’s okay as long as they don’t force her to become bisexual out of nowhere. Again, I can’t emphasize it enough: it doesn’t just happen out of nowhere.
As to why I love Karamel: It’s because I can empathize with their relationship as well. Just as Sanvers/Alex showed me that it’s okay to be homosexual, Karamel showed me that it’s okay to struggle with your true feelings, it’s okay to try to push someone away to avoid getting hurt, and it’s okay to get hurt when you see someone you love with another person. I’ve been through a very similar thing (a guy I had a crush on had a girlfriend) Kara went through when she saw Eve and Mon-El in the last episode, and I felt what she felt. I know how it feels to love someone you think is wrong for you, and I felt that with Kara. I know how it feels like whenever you like someone, it backfires, because I’ve been through the same thing. And you know what, Kara experiencing all of that, being vulnerable and hurting, crying and struggling, it showed me that everything I’ve felt before was normal. It showed me that it’s okay to get hurt, it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to struggle with your feelings. That is why I also love Karamel, because I also see myself in their relationship, and I can empathize with them.
Just thought you should know.