because the normal society would not accept me

Here’s an explanation to all those Karamel haters out there that call us homophobics as to why I, as a bisexual young girl, ship Karamel & Sanvers, and not Superc*rp (let me emphasize Sanvers, another lesbian couple, that I don’t post a lot about simply because I love Karamel more than Sanvers). 

When I heard that this season a character from Supergirl was gonna became homosexual, I was really excited. There hadn’t really been a good representation of LGBT couples in DC shows, except Nyssa&Sara (which I miss a lot), so it was amazing for me, because only last year I realized I might be attracted to not only boys but also girls, and it took me some time to get used to and accept that it’s totally normal (let me say that I’m born in a very homophobic society that even my very open-minded parents aren’t so warm to the idea of homosexuality). And when I saw Alex and Maggie, I knew they were the couple. Alex would be lesbian.

I absolutely enjoyed Sanvers storyline, especially Alex’s struggle with her feelings for Maggie and accepting that she might be lesbian after all, because it felt so close to how I felt. I understood her struggle, I understood her feelings, I understood why she couldn’t immediately tell her family and why she couldn’t immediately accept that she was lesbian, because I went through it all. I felt exactly like her last year, and it was my friends that helped me see that it was totally normal to be who I am. I found that in Alex’s character, and her relationship with Maggie will be an amazing role model for young girls out there who struggle with their feelings. It’s that struggle that made me appreciate Alex even more, because let me tell you, it isn’t an easy thing to accept for anyone. Only a minority of people are homosexual (I’m not saying it as a bad thing) and when you see straight people having relationship while there are no homosexual couples (at least in my country) it is really, really hard. Which is why it was easy for me to love Sanvers and empathize with Alex. 

However, I don’t see the same thing with Kara. Now it’s totally possible that Kara might be bisexual, that she might also be attracted to women, but the writers didn’t build her character like that. They wanted her to be straight, at least in my opinion. And one reason that I don’t want Kara to suddenly be bisexual is that, as I pointed out, there’s no build up to that, not like Alex. I’m bisexual, and someone that thought she was straight for 16 years, yet I didn’t suddenly become bisexual. It was a process. It started with seeing a girl and thinking I felt something different for her, something I shouldn’t be feeling. Even when I thought I was straight I had these feelings, and I struggled to repress them. I thought they were wrong. I don’t see any of that with Kara, which makes it really hard for me to emphatize with her. That is why I don’t want her to be bisexual, because it would be undermining the struggle I went through to get where I am, the process of realizing, trying to get rid of, and finally making peace with my feelings. It’s true that we need more representation of LGBT on TV, but making everyone LGBT out of nowhere undermines the real struggle people go through in real life. Just as shows build up straight relationships intricately, LGBT relationships need and deserve the same build up so that people can empathize with them. Kara doesn’t have that now, and maybe will never have that, and it’s okay as long as they don’t force her to become bisexual out of nowhere. Again, I can’t emphasize it enough: it doesn’t just happen out of nowhere

As to why I love Karamel: It’s because I can empathize with their relationship as well. Just as Sanvers/Alex showed me that it’s okay to be homosexual, Karamel showed me that it’s okay to struggle with your true feelings, it’s okay to try to push someone away to avoid getting hurt, and it’s okay to get hurt when you see someone you love with another person. I’ve been through a very similar thing (a guy I had a crush on had a girlfriend) Kara went through when she saw Eve and Mon-El in the last episode, and I felt what she felt. I know how it feels to love someone you think is wrong for you, and I felt that with Kara. I know how it feels like whenever you like someone, it backfires, because I’ve been through the same thing. And you know what, Kara experiencing all of that, being vulnerable and hurting, crying and struggling, it showed me that everything I’ve felt before was normal. It showed me that it’s okay to get hurt, it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to struggle with your feelings. That is why I also love Karamel, because I also see myself in their relationship, and I can empathize with them.

Just thought you should know. 

Okay if you don’t like rant posts ignore this but I feel strongly about this.
I’m allosexual. (Very much so) but I’m not an asshat who wants to deny or exclude people from the queer community. Gay people don’t get enough representation or recognition. At all. I understand that. But if you go and count all the gay people who are biphobic you get a lot. What the fuck. Why would you as a member of a marginalized group ever want to do the same to others? (Some, certainly not all) Binary trans people do the same to nonbinary people. As a nonbinary person I can say that stinks. It’s so fucking infuriating when someone who you’d think could relate to you and would accept you tells you your identity isn’t real.
There’s so many people in the LGBTQ+ community that think there shouldn’t be an A. That Asexual people aren’t queer. There’s far more Ace Erasure than Bi Erasure. (Not to invalidate Bi Erasure because there’s a shit ton of that too.) It makes me so angry that other people who don’t fit in with what society thinks is normal don’t accept others. It’s fucking pride month. Can we please be kind to one another? Apparently that’s too much to ask. I could go on and on but I’d just be repeating myself. I’m just so mad.
To asexual people, aspec people, and anyone who people try to kick out of the LGBTQ+ community reading this: y'all are so valid and so real and you can sit with me at lunch.

I Am

(written version of the spoken poetry)

The first time I told someone I’m lithromantic, they went all wide-eyed and jaw-dropped on me, as if I just told them the secrets of the universe. Of course, I, being the ever-considerate person I am, explained what being lithromantic is – that it was in the spectrum of aromantic, that a lithromantic person could fall in love without desiring the feelings to be reciprocated, that when people do reciprocate them, we can start losing our own.

It took me minutes, even hours, to explain this, to make sure that they would understand my gender. Because I thought this was it – my chance to be true and to be accepted for who I really am. This was my chance to shout to the world that I’m not as straight as I should be and I’m more than happy. But, no. After I made my throat choke out a million words, they only gave back three – “I’m so sorry.” Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry that I’m not like you who can love and be loved back without being repelled? That the idea of relationships makes me want to put a whole galaxy between the person involved and I? That I’m not normal? Well, news flash, darling, I don’t need your apology.

You say you’re sorry as if you’re the one carrying the burden of being different, of being vulnerable to murderous words because you do not belong to the normal spectrum. But, I’m that victim, right? I’m the one brave enough to step out of the box society has buried me in because, screw you, I am tired of following the rules you’re choking me with and I am brave. And, I know and comprehend a secret you don’t, can’t and probably never will. I know that happiness has more to do with me accepting myself than anyone else accepting me.

You say that like this, my identity, is like a fire burning in the middle of the night that would either bring the whole house to ashes or just die out. No, this is not deadly – my ability to decipher who I really am will not be my death. If anything, this is my birth; the start of my life as told by me and not by you. More importantly, you do not have a say whether this is a phase or not. If it is then great – it led me one step closer to discover the truth lying underneath the bones and flesh I am. And, if it’s not then what a relief. I found myself in this society’s ruthless game of hide and seek.

You see, you shouldn’t be sorry. Not being in a romantic relationship will not be the end of me. It will not make me any lonelier than I am right now. It will not make me want to weep a river. Because, dear, love has so many forms. Family, friends, and the world – they can all love me and I will love them a million times back. Romantic love is just one star in a sky drowning in them. Don’t be sad that I won’t receive the romance I give because I’m not. Believe me, receiving is not always important.

If anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I’m sorry that society has made you believe that the only choice you have is to be straight. I’m sorry they broke your bones to fit into a mold you were never supposed to be in. I’m sorry they’ve fooled you into believing that your gender is their say and not yours. But, trust me, it’s not. Don’t let society whisper poisonous words into your ears; don’t let them control you like a puppet. You are more than that; we are more than that. We are our own creation and only we can say who we are. And, no matter what that is, we are valid. You are valid. Even I, a lithromantic, am. Trust me.

I get tired of being different

It is incredibly exhausting to feel like at any given moment, I am surrounded by people who not only do not understand me, but make no attempt to. It feels like for me, the differences never end. From negotiating an atypical gender identity to identifying as queer to practicing polyamory… I mean… will anything ever feel normal?

“Normal is overrated.”

Yes. I get it, but it’s a lot of other things too - like comfortable, predictable, and safe. Being normal makes it possible to blend in, gives you a sense that you are more than your identities, and contributes to an overall sense of well being. It may be “overrated,” but it’s a pretty sweet advantage to be “normal” in a society that praises sameness.

Some days I wish I could just identify with the sex I was assigned at birth. Some days I wish I could be straight. Some day I wish that I was capable of monogamy. Why?

Not because that’s what would make me happy, but because that’s what would make it easier to move throughout the world.

When I have conversations with straight people or cis people or monogamous people, they are completely revolutionized by the idea that some places are literally not safe for me, or that being myself is not acceptable 100% of the time, or in 100% of situations.

It’s draining. Toss in a side of mental illness and a long history of being burned by shitty friends and what you’re looking at is the recipe for my loneliness. Okay, so woe is me, why is this important?

It’s important because I know we all feel this way at times. Today is my bad day, and tomorrow might be yours, so here’s what I hope you take away from this post:

You are not alone.
You are not broken.
It is not wrong to pursue you’re authentic self.
It is okay to get tired.
It is okay to get discouraged.
You are strong.
You have what it takes to pick yourself back up.
You are not weak if you seek therapy.
You are not weak if you seek medication.
You are not weak if you’re not out in every situation.

You are not weak.

Life has it’s ups and downs. Weather the storm. Do it in rain-soaked work boots out in the field, or curled up in a blanket in your bed; it doesn’t matter how you get through it as long as you do. Don’t give up. I’m not giving up, either.

Dear Fat People

Just a reminder that being fat does NOT make you unfuckable. I have been fat my whole life and have had so much damn good sex. It was my biggest fear when I was a teenager that no one would want to fuck me  because I was fat. But… nope. Many people, too many people, want to fuck me. And no, they didn’t have a ‘fat fetish’. They weren’t gross and lonely and desperate. They were just normal guys and girls who thought I was smokin’ and wanted to ride the bang-train.

Heaps of peeps want to have hot awesome sex with you. Don’t let society tell you otherwise.

anonymous asked:

jared said in an interview with Out magazine in 2004 that he isn't attracted to men, and isn't gay. 2oder3dinge (.) tumblr (.) com/post/5942407642/ it-was-the-deepest-love-you-can-imagine

Actually that’s one of my favorite interviews with him. It’s from 2004, just before Alexander was due out. Jared was still reliant on film roles, financially. He was also being hounded with gay rumors at the time and trying hard to say enough without saying it all.

He actually says: If I saw a man and I was attracted…I would probably follow through with it. Of course, that’s easy for me to say now. If it happened, maybe it would be a confusing and difficult thing, considering the world that we live in.

The very notion that he, up until this point in the industry and press has only been identified as a straight male, in his mid 30s, is aware enough to describe that very intense, precise, terrifying feeling people who are struggling with coming to terms with their sexuality feel - says enough.

Because it’s not the fact that he mentions coming to terms with it internally as being confusing or difficult, or that he is turned off by the idea of being with a man, actually the opposite  – it’s what he notes would be the real issue for him in regards to exploring his sexuality: what others would think.

“Considering the world we live in.”

This little bit of a sentence he tattled off like nothing, when it’s so very obvious he has spent time thinking on, has always been what has drawn me to him - as a human being.

People are quick to write him off as a derp or a modelizer or a guy just perpetually taking advantage of women in his life - and I just don’t think they’re getting the whole picture.

The fact that he is able to put into words that very isolating, terrifying feeling that all people who are not living a “traditional” love life feel - based entirely on the judgement the external world pushes on them because they live outside the “normal” box - is something that I don’t think many straight males would understand let alone be able to voice so eloquently.

Nor describe in such a way that doesn’t at all condemn or judge a man having such inclinations, but put the blame on society not being able to understand and accept it.

Accept him.

Look. There are a lot of people who will want to stone me for even typing this shit out - but - consider the timeframe of this interview, published in September 2004. Probably written sometime in July, August. He was probably interviewed sometime in June.

He had just spent from September 2003 thru March 2004 filming Alexander on location, playing Colin Farrell’s confidant and love of his life.

During this time, Jared was also writing most of the songs that would become “A Beautiful Lie”. Listen to that album - probably the most-intimate of any of his work, previous and since - and try to tell me he wasn’t already finding himself attracted to a man and definitely following through with it. The entire album is about a man coming to terms with himself - his needs, wants, and desires - his fears, his hesitations, his loss.

You’re likely the kind of person who thinks “A Modern Myth” is about a fan.

I’ll just leave this bit of the original “Alexander” script here:

Or think that this selfie from Thailand in April 2014 didn’t mean much - despite being taken on the same beach a few of the Alexander crew (including Jared and Colin) vacay’d at following filming, just about a decade to the date in 2004:

But yea. Totes #NoHomo.

Revolution of the singular they

I was in English class and we were talking about grammar and pronouns. What I thought would be a normal lesson turned into a classroom revolution and almost riot.

We were discussing our answers on a work sheet and people were confused as to why we had to say “he or she” instead of they. Our sub (Who is very old) said it was because they was plural. So, I raise my hand and tell her that Purdue had said that they could be singular and that singular they was 2015′s word of the year. She tried to argue with me by saying society hadn’t accepted it really. @painlore tried to back me up but the sub wouldn’t listen. This girl at my table turns around and says “I’ve always said they.” The teacher tried to argue with her but another girl chimed in “My momma taught me to say they.” And each time the teacher tried to argue, another student in the class joined in, until half the class was talking at once. The teacher is trying to calm us down but she can’t. While this was going on, I looked at what I had just caused and said “Viva la revolucion!” during this chaos.

I was so shocked and so happy that everyone was so supportive of singular they. It didn’t end at that. When my group was asked for a team name we chose singular they. It was beautiful. Moral of this story, stand up for what’s right. You might be surprised but what you find. Viva la revolucion my friends.