Your feedback is always welcomed :) I’m almost hitting 1,500 followers and I really cannot believe it! Thanks you guys so so much! <3 Btw this is the picture that is mentioned in the story! Enjoy! And check out my other works! (Pictureis not mine!!!)
Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes!” My best friend Ella
calls as I finally enter her car and plop down onto the seat with an exhausted
sigh. The belt to my shoulder bags slips down my shoulder and I position it on
my lap. Ella has gladly volunteered to take me from college this time or I had
to deal with public transportation which I definitely did not want to spend my
last nerve to. My life is chaotic enough at the moment and I can’t have other
things to tear me down. Recently, I have been very sensitive to everything and
even a little unnecessary stuff can be a cause for my outburst. For example, yesterday
I was out of ice cream and I immediately started to cry because it was the only
treat that relaxes me when I come back home from a very long day in college.
Crazy isn’t it? To cry over ice cream?
Ella. I’m sorry! I just had this very important conversation with my professor
and it took a little while. It’s not going to happen again.” I lean my back
against the seat and close my eyes. All I need is silence now. My head is
killing me and I really desire to slip into my pajamas and sleep.
“Is it okay
for you if I turn the radio on? It’s just boring and you ‘re not going to talk
to me anyway.” Ella asks and she gets a nod from my side.
say nothing anymore.
turns on a fancy radio channel, Ella starts the engine and we drive off. It will
take us approximately 20 minutes to arrive at my apartment and while driving I
spend my time with observing the buildings we pass by. The movements of the car
along with the nice music coming from the radio is a perfect mix to make me
fall asleep and I think it isn’t a bad idea to take a little nap. However as I
am about to drift off, a voice I have not heard for a while sounds through the
radio. His velvety voice. Kiwi starts to play and Ella immediately turns it
babes. I didn’t know.” She apologizes and blushes even though it’s not her
fault. She’s the only one who knows about him and our break up. Nobody else in
the world has an idea that I once used to date the most popular and successful British
I croak. Hearing the sound of his voice after so many months of our break up causes
another wave of pain in my heart. There is still this familiarity in his voice
that I could have listened to for hours. I close my eyes and try to prevent
tears to leave my eyes.
you okay, sweetheart?” Ella inquires with a hint of concern on her face.
me home, Ella.” Is all she gets as a response from me. The walls I have tried
to build the months after Harry has left me begin to crumble down just by a
simple sound. Even though it is hard to admit, I still miss him so much
although he was the one who gave up on us. He was the one who suggested it was
the best way to go separate ways and he made this decision without my consent.
you don’t have to stay alone tonight. “ Ella soothes me. “You’re more than
welcome to join Brandon and I to hang out. He loves you like a sister and a little
bit of distraction will do you good. What do you think?” I would like to accept
her offer however seeing couples being lovey dovey around me is something I
cannot deal with at the moment. Not that I’m not happy for Ella and her
boyfriend, I love them both as they were my siblings but it makes me realize
that I have no one who cares for me anymore. Harry was gone. The love of my
life is not here with me anymore. And it hurts beyond imagination.
but I really need to be at home. I have lots of studies and projects going on
and the sooner I deal with them the better.” By now she is parking in front of
my apartment. I give her a soft kiss on her cheek. “See you later.” I tell her
and get out.
between my chest still remains as I run up the stairs to my apartment. I take
out my key and unlock the door and enter my messy home. Another regular day
where I just walk in to an empty apartment. Normally, Harry would always be
there before me, cooking a meal for the both of us while he used to sing along
to his favorite songs. I loved to watch him in this state. The silence in my
apartment is just a reminder of what’s not there anymore.
I place my
bag onto the ground and get rid of my jacket and shoes. Right after that, I go
to the kitchen to grab a snack and a bottle of water. I head to my bedroom and
sit in front of my desk and dwell myself into my studies. It has become my
daily routine. Waking up, going to college, coming back and studying. I
desperately search for ways of escaping reality and for me this routine is the only
way to achieve my goal.
I take my
notes and writings in my hand and start studying for the upcoming exams.
However, from time to time I feel myself drifting off. A memory hits me
suddenly, leaving me breathless.
“Come on babe, I need some loving here.” Harry
pouted, laying on his stomach on my bed and waiting for me to cuddle with him.
“One minute.” I said, nibbling on my pen while trying
to work on a paper sheet.
“(Y/N)…” He sighed and gets up, moving towards
me and all I feel is his strong arms wrapping themselves around me and his
breath on my neck. He placed soft kisses on my skin which caused a shiver
running down my back. “You already said that 10 minutes ago.”
“I know, H. I’m sorry.” I sighed, rubbed my
eyes and let him take my paper and placing it far away from me. He grabbed my
hand and led me to my bed where he lied down at first, then opened his arms and
I slipped between them. I loved being this close to him because he always
radiated a sense of security and home. His one hand ran up and down my arms
while his other hand was placed at the back of my head. His lips touched my forehead
ever so softly and I felt complete in that moment.
“That’s how I like it.” He whispered. I buried
my face in the crook of his neck and inhaled the sweet scent of his cologne.
“I wish I would be always like this. You and
“It can be.” He told me. I looked up at him,
our eyes met to a loving gaze.
“When I marry you someday. And of course, when
my job gets less chaotic.” His answer made my heart swell. Being with him
forever until death did us part was something I wished so badly.
“Will you still perform on stage then?”
“I think I will never stop making music but you
know I don’t have always to perform in front of people. If things get serious
between you and I and I can promise it will, I will definitely want to settle
down and start a family. With you, love.”
I leaned in to connect our lips to a gentle
kiss and we spent the rest of the day with many cuddling sessions and talking.
I shake my
head and my heart feels so heavy. “You promised…” leaves my mouth.
to continue my studies leaves and I push everything aside and stand up. It has
become dark outside and the clock on my walls shows that we have 7 PM. I
position myself on my bed, take my pillow and press it against my body. I
really wonder how Harry is doing right now. Is he thinking about me like I do?
Does he miss me? Does he regret the decision he has made?
plenty of pictures online and he never appears broken or sad. Quite the
opposite: he always looks happy and is smiling on every photo the fans shoot.
He seems to cope very well with our break up, leaving me being the one who
probably suffers under such hurtful heartbreak. I have loved him so much, still
do and I gave him everything I had without flinching an eyelash.
it is hard to keep myself away from checking up on him, I still do because
after today there is no way that I can relax when I do not see him.
I am about
to take my phone as my notifications on Twitter goes on and I see that an
update account that I use to follow has posted a picture of him. It leaves me
breathless and my heart slams against my chest. He is currently in Shanghai it
absolutely and indescribably beautiful and tears just begin to stream out of my
eyes as I observe his perfectly shaped face. His hair is messy and curly as I
remembered. His outfit consists only of black material which outlined the color
of his eyes even more. I always have loved it when he wore black. It suits him
so damn well and honestly there is nothing he could not wear without looking
like a complete idiot.
tear wets my display. “I’m sorry..” I whispered into silence.”I’m sorry I could
not be enough for you when you’re still the one I want.” I scroll further and
find more pictures of him posing with his fans and signing autographs. The more
I look at them the worse I feel and it ends with me burying my face between my
hands and starting to sob.
There is no
way I could ever move on. Harry has taken my heart and claimed it as his own,
there was no chance I would ever get it back. While he would continue his life
like nothing had happened between us, as if I do not exist, having another
girlfriend, marrying her and having children, I would be still longing for him.
My love for Harry is endless and it will always be that way. Even on my death
bed I hope the last few words that will escape my mouth would be me telling how
much I loved him through all these years.
sob. “Why did you leave me Harry? How will I live without you?”
like it was yesterday as he ended things with me, tears covering his handsome
face. I could tell he didn’t want this as much as I do but he still walked
through that door and never came back.
“I’m sorry and I love you.” Was the last thing I’ve heard from
him. All the things he said about marriage and settling down with me have been
nothing but a lie. A bittersweet lie. He made my hopes up only to crush them
I have a
look at Twitter again and the update account says Harry will perform at the
Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. After reading the post, I click on Harry’s
profile. I decide to send him one last message and after this one I will never
ever bother him and try to continue living my life. As easy as it sounds, it is
still the hardest challenge in my life.
I open the
DM because I have no other possibility to contact him since I deleted his phone
number after he left me. Why do I even do this to myself? Why do I torture
myself like this? And what did I do to deserve being treated like this?
supported him throughout his solo career, telling everybody that I know how
brilliant his music is and even convinced them to buy his album and give him a
chance to prove himself. I’ve been there when his mood was on downfall and
anxiety played around with his mind. I’ve built him up with my love, with my
admiration and devotion for him and he took all of this for granted.
pathetic, stupid or whatever for still wanting him after he left me out of
nowhere but if you had loved him as much as I do you would understand. You
would understand that you would do anything in your power to keep someone with
an amazing personality as Harry’s in your life. But I had failed. I have tried
but obviously it was not enough.
I sob hard
as I type short sentences, my fingers trembling as I try to form proper words.
What would you tell someone if you know this would be the last time you would
ever contact him? There are so many things in my mind, I could simply write an
essay about my feelings however I don’t want to bother him any longer. He might
become sick of me.
“I’m proud of who you
become, H even if that meant to break my heart. I will always love you forever
and I will never forget you. You will be endlessly in my mind. Go and rock that
stage, my little dreamer. X.”
contemplate for a little while if it’s a good idea to send him this message, it
kinda sounds cheesy but what have I got to lose anyway? The person I have
treasured and who had a huge amount of value in my eyes is gone anyway.
heavy heart and a bit of uneasiness consuming me, I press the send button and
the message appears on the screen one more time. I observe it a few minutes and
after that I inhale deeply, turn off my phone and lay it on my desk far away
from me. I wonder how he will react to my message but for now I cannot deal
back into my bed, taking my pillow as a replacement for Harry. I cuddle against
it and imagine he was still here with me, embracing my body with his strong
arms and keeping me safe during the night.
I whisper before I slowly drift to sleep. One tear flows down my sore cheek. “It’s
If (Y/N) had known that on the other side of
the world, a young man with green eyes and a wonderful dimpled smile is crying
over her message like she had over him hours ago.
And You Said It Wasn’t Going To Work... (Steve Harrington prompt)
Request: Hello there, could you possibly do 55, 61, 70, 93, 127 and 8 (I know that’s quite a few but I just though they fit my idea best, sorry 🙂) from your prompt list with Steve Harington ? Maybe like the reader is trying to study or something and Steve keeps trying to distract or annoy her ?? Thank you ❤️
8) “do you ever hear the things that come out of your mouth? because you really should” 55) “I’m bored” “find something to do” “just did” “what is it?” “you” 61) “do me a favor” “yes?” “shut the hell up” 70) “stop touching me” “you weren’t complaining last night” 93) “I swear if you hit me with that pillow one more time” 127) “its rude to stare” “I’m not staring, I’m admiring”
(Y/N) sat on her bed trying to study for her math test. Key word, trying.
The only reason why she hasn’t accomplished actually studying is due to her boyfriend, Steve Harrington.
It was a simple thing Steve was trying to do and that was to distract and annoy (Y/N) as much as possible to the point where she gave up and focused on him.
Right now, Steve was just looking at (Y/N) and took in the little things. For instance, the way she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion or the way she chewed on her eraser slightly when she was trying to figure out the problem.
(Y/N), of course, could sense Steve staring at her. “Its rude to stare” She spoke, not looking up. “I’m not staring, I’m admiring” Steve corrected.
She looked up, “That was sweet, but I know what you’re trying to do and it is not going to work” She stated as a matter of fact.
“I’m not trying to do anything, I have no clue what you’re talking about” Steve argued. “You’re a bad liar” (Y/N) pointed out and went back to looking at her notes and problems.
A few minutes later, all that could be heard was Steve sighing out loud on purpose, which (Y/N) ignored up until now.
She threw her pencil down and looked at Steve, “Do me a favor” She stated more as a command than a question. “Yes?” Steve asked, hoping it would be a favor where he can get some blankets and they can cuddle. “Shut the hell up” (Y/N) answered, which caused Steve to groan.
(Y/N) rested her head in the palm of her hands while going over all the problems she was having trouble with. It was awfully quiet and (Y/N) thought it was strange.
She turned and looked to see Steve messing with his hair and mumbling to himself. “What are you doing?” She asked, which caused Steve to stop and look at her.
“I’m bored” He informed, as if he was saying ‘duh’. (Y/N) shrugged, “Find something to do”, Steve looked at her, “Just did”. “What is it?” She asked curiously, Steve smiled and smugly replied, “You”.
As soon as Steve said that, he scooted towards (Y/N) and wrapped his arms around her waist and he let his fingers trail up and down (Y/N)’s legs while kissing her on the cheek.
It was obvious that the girl liked and didn’t mind what he was doing but she restrained herself and pushed his hands off, “Sorry lover boy but no”.
Steve put his hands back on her and she pushed them off again, “Stop touching me” She demanded. Steve huffed, “You weren’t complaining last night”.
“Exactly, that was last night, not now” (Y/N) pointed out.
“You’re so mean” Steve pouted, (Y/N) snorted, “Do you ever hear the things that come out of your mouth? because you really should”. “You sound like a three year old” She added.
The comment made Steve grab one of the pillows and throw it at the girl. (Y/N) quickly snapped and looked at him and turned back around. The action made Steve realize that if he kept doing it, she would forget about studying and would be too busy with him.
He chucked the pillow at her again which caused her to groan, “I swear if you hit me with that pillow one more time” She threatened.
“You’ll do what? You won’t do anything” Steve taunted and threw another pillow at his girlfriend.
(Y/N) threw her stuff down, “That’s it” she spoke and tackled Steve and pushed him onto the bed. Steve quickly rolled over and was hovering over her, “You just don’t give up do you?” (Y/N) asked while looking up at the boy.
“Nope” Steve answered while popping the ‘p’. “Now, can you stop studying and just cuddle with me? If not, I’ll just keep buggin’ you” Steve added.
“Yes, I’ll cuddle with you now” (Y/N) agreed. Steve leaned down and kissed her but before he did he mumbled,“And you said it wasn’t going to work”, referring to earlier when (Y/N) said she him bugging her wasn’t going to work.
ok guys so a little background on this: last year in this period i used to be at my lw, then i started gaining like crazy. my sister was around in that period and then she left for work again
a few months ago i started restricting again (when i eat normally i just start to binge and eat 300+ calories daily for months) hoping i’d get at least a bit closer to my lowest weight by the time my sister visits again.
last year i lost weight by restricting but i’d lose it slowly af and when she came home i did a mono for 3 days and that’s how i got to my “lw” which probably wasn’t even my lw tbh considering i mostly lost water weight. now, this year i didn’t do anything like that and just hoped for the best.
my babygirl comes home and goes “what the FUCK how did you lose all that weight” and i’m like??? because the scale still shows a higher number compared to last year
today i decided to try on a t-shirt with very tight arms that i wore last year but didn’t wear it anymore cause the arms would get tight af when i started gaining.
guys. Guys. GUYS!!! it’s so much looser than it was last year!! I don’t know how this works but I’m so happy!!!
L'Uomo Vogue - November 2017 Interview Translation (mostly the bits about Colin)[x]
L’Uomo Vogue: Can you recall the path of your friendship [Colin and Rupert’s]? Colin Firth: We met for the first time in 1983 when Rupert came to visit me in the backstage while I played “Another Country” in a West End theatre and I was playing the role he’d done before. We hung out for a while regularly, being in his company was exciting. It was him who suggested I should play Tommy Judd in the film version (and he still tries his best not to remind me that I owe him my entire career). When we began filming it became clear I coudn’t keep up with him. Until I had met him, I tried to be a smart, brilliant sort of guy, a wordly man. But he was way out of my league. He was tremendously funny, absolutely outside the box, and totally annoyed by boring people. For a while I tried my best to keep up with him, but then it became too tiring. There was no competition, so I decided to go in the opposite direction and become decisively boring. It wasn’t too hard. Rupert Everett: I was attracted to him when we met. He played the same role I had played. I thought he should be the other character in the film. So I pressed a lot to have him too in “Another Country”. Then as soon as he started acting I hated him! I regret it a lot. Where did that hate come from? Jealousy, maybe. C.F: Rupert saw me with a copy of The Guardian and that was enough: then, to complete the idea that he had of me, he added a guitar, a background in a university that wasn’t that prestigious [Colin graduated at Winchester]. In the following years he perfected that idea with a pair of sandals and the folk repertoire of Peter, Paul and Mary… and he mixed it all. All those props are his inventions - but as a portrait of my deepest nature, I’ll admit there’s something true about that. And I’m not the kind of man who lets the truth ruin a bit of good burlesque. R.E: Colin doesn’t agree, but I remember him strumming his guitar all the time, wearing sandals and singing songs of protest, Sandals! He played “Lemon Tree”! [a famous success of Peter, Paul and Mary]. He says it’s all false. And it probably is, maybe I was just too envious and he was too good. Once I was a man who did a lot. I think we all are when we’re young… I wanted to have everything under control. I was annoying. So, after that, for a long while we weren’t friends. But that was 30 years ago. The good thing about growing old doing this job is that you work with pleasant people that you’ve known for a while, and that makes it all the more fun.
L’U.V: Then you worked together in “Shakespeare in Love”. But when did you start being friends? C.F: Our friendship started for real with “The Importance of Being Ernest”, during the Summer of 2001. One of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Maybe because he had grown, or maybe because I got a bit more loose, or became better, we became close friends. I managed to make him laugh, which is something that filled me with satisfaction. Then followed two films of the “St. Trinian’s” series that I did first and foremost because he was doing them. On my last day on set of the second film, Rupert became very gloomy. Even if he never said it, I’m convinced he was sad about me leaving. Around lunchtime I bid my goodbyes to everyone and, after I’d left, Rupert stayed laid on the floor of his trailer for an hour, faking being dead, to the dismay of the producers and the medical staff. He’ll certainly tell a different story, but it’s true for me and just another proof of his fondness (for me). It’s probably during that time that he started writing “The Happy Prince”. He told me he’d go write it in Paris, in the same hotel room Wilde stayed. Hoping it’d be a “collaboration” with Oscar. The room was too depressing, so he left the next day. Six weeks later though, he came back with one of the best scripts I’ve ever read. R.E: I could never have done the film without Colin. Nowadays the most important thing to make a film is going to the potential investors with the names of the actors that are going to be in it. Just as soon as I wrote it, right at the beginning, that is years ago, he came to me and did a first reading. It was before he’d do “The King’s Speech” or “A Single Man”. We had just finished “St.Trinian’s 2″. It was easy to make him sign a piece of paper at that time! He signed, but then it took years to make it… He was the real deal. The important thing was that he was involved in the project. So, in a sense I owe it all to him, besides Emily Watson and Tom Wilkinson and all the others, obviously. But it was him that everybody wanted. We’re not the best friends, but Colin was there for me, he supported me, and in the end we did the film. In this business nobody does favours anymore. Today, actors’ careers are managed by these impenetrable agencies. He instead did me a favour and it’s a very rare thing. I’ll always owe him.
L’U.V.: When you made the film in the end, how did it go? C.F: Rupert was unique. It’s extraordinary working with someone who has that kind of control on the entire project: actor, writer, director. He kept having new ideas, he never stopped. […]
L’U.V: […] I want to ask Colin about his decision to get the italian passport (he’s got the double citizenship in September), something that he was allowed to do since he’s married with Livia Giuggioli. The British Press said it was also because of Brexit. C.F.: I always considered my relationship with Italy as a gift. It’s a relationship that in my family has gone on for two decades. I got married here [in Italy], my two sons were born in Rome. My wife and I are both extremely proud of our respective Countries. We feel like we gave a gift to each other. Our children have the double citizenship. In reality, we’ve never really thought about how we had different passports. But now with all this uncertainty around, we thought it was for the best if we all had the same passports. I’ll always be absolutely British (just look at me and listen to me), Great Britain is our home and we love it. Despite the temptation to move somewhere more profitable for my job, I’ve always chosen to have my career grow in the United Kingdom and pay my taxes there. But I’ve bonded/married into Italy (and everyone will tell you that if you marry an italian, you’re not marrying just one person, but an entire family or maybe an entire Country…). As basically anyone, I have a passion for Italy and having the double citizenship, like my children, is for me a great privilege.
BOOM, SURPRISE PROMPT: TOG Ship of your choosing (Elorcan was my thought, but you, I’m trash for them). Seeing each other at their 5/10 year high school reunion. Sparks. Unrequited love. You get the idea. 😘
Elide had forgotten what the halls of East Terrasen High smelled like, how they looked, how they had tiny, profane words written on the red, metal lockers.
She hadn’t wanted to come, but Manon had coaxed her into it - only for her to ditch last minute.
I’m sick, she had texted, when in reality, she knew Dorian had just gotten home from his work travels and Manon had made other plans.
Elide wanted to be mad, but she couldn’t blame her friend.
Elide was a sucker for love.
Yet, as she walked into the gym, she had wished Manon was there with her. Just so she wouldn’t feel so awkward and out of place.
But awkward and out of place, she was.
She spun around, long, black hair flying as she did so. Across the room, on the other side of the refreshments table, she spotted a trio: Aelin Galathynius, Rowan Whitethorn, and Lorcan Salvaterre.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
She knew he would be there, but she didn’t think she would have to run into him so soon. She didn’t even have time to prepare herself. Didn’t even have time to hide her expressions, which were written clear as day across her face as she walked to the small group.
Aelin instantly wrapped her in a hug. “Elide! It’s been years! How are you? What’s new?”
“Oh. You know.” She laughed nervously. “Just been working. I’m a Vet. How about you? My gods, it’s been, what? Ten years?”
Aelin grinned and held up her left hand, an absurdly large diamond had consumed her ring finger. “Married eight years. Three kids. All of them look like dad.”
She gestured to Rowan, who smiled at Elide, kindly. “It’s nice to see you, Elide.”
“You too,” she said, nudging his arm.
“And what about you?” Elide faced Lorcan, who was watching her with an intensity she hadn’t seen in ten years.
Aelin cleared her throat. “Oh, uh, I just remembered. We have to call and tell the kids goodnight. Aedion’s watching them, and, um, he needs us to….call.”
She elbowed Rowan in the ribs, and her husband simply rolled his eyes, then said robotically, “Yes. We must call. The children. Aedion. They need us.”
As they wandered off, and as Elide caught Aelin scolding Rowan, Lorcan’s intensity faded and he tried his best to smile.
Which just came off as uncomfortable.
“So. How have you been?” he asked, at last.
“Good, really good.”
He nodded. “Good.”
They stood in silence for a moment before Elide shook her head, and began to back away. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
She ran from the middle of the gym, to the exit, into the hallway. No one was there, and she was grateful for that, because she was pretty sure she was coming off as utterly pathetic.
She knew he would come after her. It was what he did. It was what he was good at.
When he said her name the second time, she stopped, and she wasn’t sure why, but she turned to face him.
He was only a foot away now, staring at her, a silent plea in his eyes.
“Please, don’t go.”
“I shouldn’t have come to begin with,” she said, quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t go,” he repeated.
Elide shook her head, and looked everywhere but directly at him. “You left me.”
He froze, his face falling.
He had left her. Ten years ago, he had left her to go to college across the country. He had promised to write, had promised that they would make it work, but she had never heard from him.
And after a month passed of her trying to get a hold of him, of trying to just contact him, she gave up.
She hadn’t heard from him since the day he left.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and Elide hated herself for believing it. “I was young. And stupid. And I didn’t know what I wanted. And you have no right to believe me, but I spent so many nights lying awake, thinking about you, wishing I hadn’t messed everything up. You’re the only reason I came tonight. Although, I hoped it would go a lot better than this.”
Elide didn’t say anything. She watched him, watched his expressions, watched the mannerisms she had known so well all those years ago.
He was telling the truth, and she hated that the most.
“I missed you,” he said, and she knew how hard it was for him to admit. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped.” He held out his hand. “Don’t go. Not yet.”
Elide wanted to scream. She wanted to yell, and grab him by the shoulders, and shake him until he fell over. Instead, she took a deep breath, and simply said, “You have fifteen minutes. If I’m not impressed, I’m leaving.”
But she was already impressed. Mostly because she missed him. Mostly, because after ten years, he was still the only man she had ever loved.
Even if the tall, lanky boy she had known and loved was now a tall, buff, incredibly attractive man.
Lorcan smiled as she placed her small, delicate hand in his. “That’s all I ask.”
He’d better not mess it up.
So, sorry if this sucked. Lol. I hope you liked it!
But I read a lot of time that the black fabric she’s wearing in this picture looks like the fabric of Kylo’s outfit. And I agree. So maybe, he did give her this outfit to meet Snoke. Because she doesn’t have her Resistance’s outfit anymore in this part of the movie and we only see her with this Resistance’s outfit whit Luke.
And, I had a thought as well. Imagine that this :
is when he see her in this outfit the first time … It’s just a thought, maybe I’m fangirling too much after all these Reylo news but come on, that would be so cool.
Last night I dreamed that by the time Todd was dragging Dirk out of the hospital by the hand, Dirk had taken off his red jacket and swapped it for a grey hoodie because he was so defeated and upset over losing the Boy that he felt he didn’t deserve to wear colour.
I was about to call your name when I saw you but then I realized that you don’t want to hear my voice anymore. But I did so anyways because I want to see you turning your head for the last time for me.
I went to bed late last night. Emma wanted finish up editing. Sometimes i think its her ADHD playing up, doing this in the middle of the night, because she feels she wants to finish it. But i already hear my T yelling bi polar, bi polar, bi polar together with shame shame, shame in my ear… :S
Yet i woke up at a decent time, 11 on a Sunday. I let the dog out, fed her and took my meds, set down and thought for a second. There was absolutely nothing i HAVE to do today. I have to send 1 email, but we have a huge time difference, so i can do it tonight. Then i remembered that a long time ago (couple of years) we decided to have a day at the beach with ‘’all’’ of us. Then it was to get to know each other better. Now it was cause we earned it.
So i gathered everyone inside and told them today was a special day. I explained that we made all our goals and more and that we were going to celebrate and that we would invite the new sub systems to join us. All of a sudden Emma is losing her mind. We are going to Disney, we are going to Disney.. uhhhh I wish but no sweety, we are going to the beach though. She looks at me in horror and goes.. you know it’s winter right?
Esther quickly walks up to me, i don’t like that all those littles around the water. we will just stay inside, she whispers in my ear. I ask everyone to shut up and listen for a second. WE ARE GOING TO THE INSIDE BEACH. Emma will be fine, the littles will be fine, you can just relax in the sun Esther. We did this a few years ago remember?
So we invited the other sub systems and off we went to the beach. It’s not close by, and we don’t have vehicles inside. But the walk was nice, talked to lots of different (new) people. When we arrived most kids just ran to the water to swim and play. Us adults places our asses in the sun and soaked up some inner world vitamin D.
It was lovely. I felt myself both inside and outside, relax in a way i haven’t in a long time. Not without being a deep trance state at least. Relaxing and getting to know each other better was a great decision. It was like i could finally allow myself to stop, stand still, breath and relax for a while. After all the business with the move, the drama with the new social worker who would be here in the first week, but didn’t even make it in the first month. All the worry and the stress, i could let it go for a while. It was lovely to see the children so happy. And many of the new sub system kids had never even seen a beach.
I’m looking forward to the future, to getting to know all these inside people better. To heal more, reach more, teach more. We really have come to love YouTube. At first i was very nervous. But now i’m much more comfy with the camera already. Doing these live streams is awesome as well! We are working on the app. We are setting up meetings with different mental health professionals in my country to bring more knowledge and understanding about DID. We soon will pick up the process of getting a service dog again. And we are working to seeing my son more often, since we finally, really live close to each other. Life is looking pretty good at the moment. I could get used to this! :D
A lot of this session became sending each other bad taxidermy pics…
Kinisk: What could go wrong? “Flashbacks to decisions outside of the hospital”
Henrich: Yes, what could go wrong? “Flashbacks to every decision we’ve made”
Henrich: Can we go through the sewers? DM: Hmm. Kinisk & Zazzles: OHHHHHHHHH! Henrich: I like this plan because it involves not drowning, it made those two go “Ohhh!” and you hadn’t thought of it. DM: This is just a game to you isn’t it?
Zazzles: EPISODE WHATEVER WE’RE ON: RETURN OF THE BUTT WIZARD.
DM: Ok, let’s go without a map… Kinisk: Do you really want another Jerry’s House? [Pee House] DM: Oh god. *DM quickly makes a map to stop us running rampant again*
In the sewers Zazzles: You know what, I’m going to do what I did last time, I roll to walk in poop. Henrich: I’m going to keep a fair distance away from Zazzles since this place smells of poo Zazzles: I thought you were going to say since this place smells of Zazzles…
Henrich: I will drag the two of you through these sewers by your ears if I have to! Zazzles *Smugly*: Do you really want to touch my ears? *Pause* DM: I hope you have some gloves.
Henrich: I’m just going to go over here and sob.
Zazzles and Kinisk leap frog over each other through the tunnels. Henrich: One of these days, I’ll adventure with sane people. DM: Of course you will, dear.
Upon seeing a room of rats and mice Zazzles, shrieking: OH MY GOD DO WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ANOTHER MR BITEY? Kinisk: A MRS BITEY! Henrich: You two are horrifying.
Kinisk shares this picture to us
Henrich: Just remember this moment the next time I tell you that you two are horrifying. Kinisk then shares a picture of a rat thong Zazzles: I may have sent that thong pic accidentally to a director at work because we were discussing taxidermy… I’m leaving the company soon… unrelated to the thong incident…
Kinisk: I want to catch one of these rats… on my sword. Henrich: Kinisk: Pokemon Master
After Zazzles unsuccessfully tries to scare off the rats but using Mr Bitey’s corpse as a puppet DM: Who will the rats attack first? Zazzles! Zazzles: BUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU. DM: You DID just swing round their dead friend at them! Zazzles: They don’t know this rat! DM: It would still be unsettling!
Zazzles attacks rats by biting and kills a few Henrich: Ozzy Osbourne has nothing on you. Kinisk: Zazzles has teeth of steel!
DM: The rats are going to continue trying to chomp Zazzles. Zazzles: I mean, that’s fair. I did chomp them.
Zazzles’ face upon realising she is not immortal:
Zazzles rages out and decimates the rats because she got down to 9HP
Kinisk starts straight-up slicing through rats: Kinisk: I can channel my sibling’s rage.
Kinisk: I’m taking an armful of these rats. Zazzles: Mr Bitey’s children? Kinisk: I was thinking harem.
Zazzles: I want to look to see if there’s anything left of what the rats were eating… I’m going to roll perception. PREPARE TO BE DISAPPOINTED. *Rolls a 5* Henrich: I am disappointed.
Henrich: Right. A junction. Zazzles, Kinisk, rock, paper scissors.
Henrich: Another junction. Zazzles chose last time, Kinisk, you pick this time. Kinisk: Err… Henrich: LEFT IT IS!
Zazzles and Kinisk continue leapfrogging with a chorus of “LEAPFROG”, “WHEE”, “LEAPFROG”, “WHEE”… DM to Henrich: I feel your sorrow
DM: There’s an enemy in this room, just let me load him. Zazzles (in the room): I immediately regret my leapfrog.
Kinisk to a rat humanoid (while arms are full of rats): I come bearing gifts, please don’t hurt us, we just want to get out of the city, Mr Rat. DM: He doesn’t understand you, he sees the dead baby rats and squeaks in horror, swinging his sword in your direction. Kinisk (sadly): Oh. Oh.
Kinisk successfully diffuses the situation with the RatMan and he lowers his sword. Henrich: That’s great, Zazzles, go punch him.
Zazzles: I JUST WANT HIM TO BE OUR FRIEND, I DO NOT WANT THE RATMAN TO BE A FUCK BUDDY.
Zazzles: Kinisk, give the RatMan your porn. Even if he’s not into it, he can use the material for nesting. Kinisk: How to make friends.
DM: Did Kinisk give RatMan porn? Kinisk: I’m going to give him some of the best bits. DM: He shakes his head, takes some grime off the wall to use as paint to redraw some of the women as rats.
(I love RatMan and I’m coming back for him to give him some of the finest jewellery in the kingdom at some point. He will be KingRatMan.)
Taking the mick of the map because a hallway looks like a penis.
kitty I'm so proud 😭👏 Hide was such a king in this chapter, a natural leader. The last time he tried to save Kaneki he did it, but was lethality hurt in the process. Now he's not alone anymore he's got the ccg and the ghouls working with him, following his plan. I know I should be scared because this is Ishida we're talking about but these weeks our boy's on fire 🔥🔥 He's making us all so proud
Man I’ve always thought about how lonely Hide’s been shown to be, especially when Ken left, and Ishida drew that omake in volume 13 of the original where Hide just looked so lonely and sad. 😢
So does it feel so good to see people listening to him and caring about his wellbeing and about what he has to say!
Touka and Shuu and Nishiki and ALL OF GOAT followed him to the CCG, who were responsible for slaughtering them in such a mass scale, because Hide somehow convinced them that they could save Ken this way. And when Ui was addressing Hide, Amon stepped in and quite literally stepped in front of Hide like he was tryna defend him. And Marude just accepts that he’s gonna have to work alongside Ghouls because Hide. And I’m so happy that his worth is being shown. Because right now Hide is definitely showing himself to be such a prominent and promising leader, but there’s still MUCH to be revealed about his side of the story.
But there’s definitely tragedy afoot. I may make a post later about it ^^
Because if there’s one thing that was certainly foreshadowed about the magician and the dragon bringing peace and moving the hearts of the rebels, it was that it was called “boring”. So I definitely believe that this idyllic haze is now officially the transition period from the moon arc to the sun, and when that hits… Well damn. All I know is, seeing Hide cry and emotionally devastated will make my year 👌😢🙏 I love him, and I want him to let out the pain he’s hiding.
Things are a little slow, working a full time job definitely takes time away from writing during the week and last week was so crazy I was often too tired to write the 1,667 words each day. But during the weekend I spent as much time as I could (when i wasn’t getting distracted) typing up my
Our Souls at Night AU for this years Nanowrimo.
I’m still behind a good chunk of words, but I’m not completly freaking out yet because I’ve told myself I can catch up this week when I have the whole week off from work! (Yay Thanksgiving Break!)
But the best part about these past few writing days is not only did I reach the 15,000 words milestone BUT I surpassed my word count for my Nanowrimo story last year!
It’s not by much honestly, but last year at around this time I had lost all steam and hope. This year I’m pushing through! Still got some motivation and plenty of ideas, just need to work in some more time and energy.
Thanks for all the encouragement some of you all have sent!
Here’s to another week! Fellow Nanowrimo writers, just keep writing! Everyone else, hope you all have a fantastic week!
1) How many works in progress do you currently have in progress?
I actually don’t have any? But there’s some ideas I have kicking around and I’m excited I now have time to write them. I’ve always wanted to do a soulmate au because they MAKE ME WEAK. I also want to do like… a bodyguard au? Haha again, super cliche but I love them.
2) Do you/would you write fanfiction?
Literally all I do
3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?
God when’s the last time I read a book?
4) When did you start writing?
I guess I started actively sitting down and writing fiction of my own accord (ie. not an English assignment) in early 2011. SO god, I guess 6 years? Off and on? You’d think I’d be better.
5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?
No not really. Not finished products anyway. Some people on here I will maybe bounce ideas off of. I’ll tell IRL friends what I’m working on if they need to laugh at something. But no one sees drafts or anything.
6) Where is your favorite place to write?
Either on the couch while my boyfriend plays a game, or in my study on my desktop. I can usually get more focussed work done there, but I procrastinate for a long time.
7) Favorite childhood book?
I remember mum reading me The Secret Garden and I really loved that and the movie a lot. Harry Potter was also very formative.
8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?
Bitch, you think I make money?
No it’s just for you guys and fun.
9) Pen and paper or computer?
Plan on pen and paper and then write on the computer.
10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?
Does high school English count? No?
11) What inspires you to write?
Hahaha honestly a lot of what I write is either “You took this fantastic trope with such great potential and YOU RUINED IT” so out of rage I try to do it, but better.
It’s a case of “I really want to read this but no one has made this content…. fuck… I have to make this content don’t I? Shit.”
Okay, he sounded strained but not like last time. Vocally, it was better than the perfomance at the EMAs.
Production wise, it was mad boring. It was nothing special, visually. What exactly did the Creative Director do or design for this performance? I want to think that they didn’t put too much thought into this performance because they’re leaving for New Zealand tonight. Overall, it was nothing memorable, and it’s a bit disappointing ‘cause it’s a bop of a song and Shawn’s deserves to have outstanding performances. It looked super cheap. I’m sorry, but it did.
On a positive note, and even though it has nothing to do with music… CAN WE TALK ABOUT THOSE PANTS?! They’re a YES for me! And also, God bless that loose curl on his forehead. That’s all I’m going to remember from this performance.
i don’t usually embrace it so enthusiastically but my lesson plan for today is really weak because my co-teacher has been kind of out of communication all week and I don’t know if my lesson plan is just basically repeating what she did on wednesday when i wasn’t in or WHAT we’re doing
but now we can take up lots of the time talking about snow
it snowed last night, is it snowing now, does it snow where you come from, a lot or a little or never, do you like snow, is it your first winter here (which i should ideally already know but there’s 20-30 students and i seriously can’t remember who has been in the US for how long)
and i’d already been planning to go over weather cancellation policy!
ooh maybe i can even stretch it into a reading/spelling/pronunciation exercise with sn- words
Random story time because I feel very sociable today:
I remember when I used to play The Sims, and well I did myself in it just cause and set his life goal to Create a Robot orsomethingwithinthoselines and so I made my character do NOTHING except developing his inventing skill, and in the end, when he was in his pretty much last day alive, he did the robot, and died several seconds after.
The robot dude was traumatized and I lived the rest of my day knowing that I completly wasted a fictonal character’s life in a ruthless life goal.
NaNoWriMo Detour # 2: A Liliana Fic, Because Why Not?
“So it has
been some time, then, since you last saw your aunt?” the head nurse said, sounding a
aunt, and yes,” Liliana said, smiling as she lied. “It has been some time. I’ve
been away for many years, you see, and I only just heard of her decline.”
Liliana’s smile broadened. “Naturally, when I did, I came straight away.”
“Ah, I see,
I see,” the nurse said, sounding somewhat mollified. “You will have to forgive
my surprise, my dear. It’s just that we were unaware that the revered mother
had any family left.”
not,” Liliana said, “save for me.”
white-robed orderly was pushing a cart laden with strong-smelling medicaments down
the hallway, so the head nurse and Liliana stepped to one side to make way.
“My ties to
the revered mother may be distant,” Liliana said, “but they remain very
important to me.”
me to hear that,” the head nurse said.
then beside a heavy curtain, drawn across an open doorway, and the nurse held
up a hand in warning.
enter,” she said, “I wish to steel you for what you may find. If it has been
many years since you last saw your aunt—”
yes,” the nurse said, before bowing in apology. “But, as I was saying, if it
has been many years since you last saw your great aunt, then you may be in for
a bit of a shock.” The head nurse paused, and appeared to choose her next words
carefully. “Her mind is still clear, and her tongue remains sharp – or at least
it does when she’s able to speak. But her health is in rapid decline. This latest
stroke, in particular, has frozen much of her body.” The nurse shook her head,
and sighed. “She tires easily, I fear, and she has little time left.”
the case, I will keep my remembrances brief,” Liliana said.
“It would be
for the best,” the nurse said, and nodded. “Still, I am sure it will do her a
power of good to see you.”
Liliana said, “I am sure that it will.”
the bell when you are done,” the nurse said, “and I will come and collect you.”
Then she drew the curtain aside, and bid Liliana to enter.
behind the curtain was small, and sparse. There was a window facing the
courtyard, with the shutters drawn wide, to admit the fresh air from outside.
There was a long, wooden chest – for bedlinens, most likely – and a half-moon
table, fixed with screws to the wall. The on top of the table lay a pair of
glass vases, filled with stems of red roses – one bunch a bit wilted, the other
still fresh – which gave the room a splash of color and fragrance. The only
other furniture was a three-legged stool, and the low, wooden bed.
foot, Liliana drew the stool up next to the bed, but she did not sit. Instead,
she stood, staring down at withered, wretched form of the revered mother, who
lay helpless before her. The woman’s once-powerful face – which Liliana still
saw in her dreams – had been split down the middle, so that, while the left
side retained some ghost of its former authority, the right side lay sunken,
and drooped, with a thin trail of spittle dangling from the corner of its
downturned lip. The woman’s hair – which had once been black as nightshade –
was wispy, and more yellow than white, like the color of old parchment, where
it curls up at the edges.
could sense the old woman staring up at her, from behind cloudy-white
cataracts, and the revered mother tried to raise her head to get a better look
at her visitor, but could not summon the strength.
terribly,” Liliana said, taking little pain to hide her delight.
For a while,
then, she fell silent, as she waited for the revered mother to speak. But the
woman said nothing, and Liliana frowned.
“You don’t recognize
me, do you?” the planeswalker said, feeling a bit put out, before shaking her
head. “But then, of course, you wouldn’t, would you? Not when you’re lying there
like that, all shriveled up like a prune, and here I am, standing before you, as
fresh as the day we met.” She again shook her head. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t.”
walked over to the half-moon table, where she drew one of the fresh cut roses
from its vase.
will refresh your memory,” she said, and, with a sharp flick of her wrist, she
lashed long, woody stem across her open palm, so that it cracked like a whip. “Recant,
young Vess,” she said, in a parody of the revered mother’s once-fearsome voice.
“Recant!” And she lashed herself again.
somewhere behind the old woman’s cataracts, a glint of recognition flickered,
where Liliana saw it, and smiled.
planeswalker said, “and now you remember.” She paused to suck at the sting on
her palm, where a thorn from the rose had drawn blood. Then she slid the dying
bloom back into the vase, where it stood out from the rest of the flowers – a patch
of black among red.
mother opened her mouth to speak, but Liliana silenced her forever with a spell,
and all that came out from her mouth was a low, lopsided rattle.
your chance to speak, long ago,” Liliana said. “Now it’s my turn.” And she sat
down on the stool, leaning in close, so that the old woman had no choice but to
look at her.
palm was still bleeding, and she glanced down at the wound with a laugh.
“Here I am,
after all these years,” she said. “Sister Liliana, the little heretic – only
not so little anymore.” She sucked at the cut, and smiled. “If heresy could be
beaten out of a girl with stern words and a salted lash, then, my dearest mother,
you would have done it. But I think we both know it’s not quite so simple as
that, now don’t we?”
rattle came from the withered woman’s mouth, and Liliana patted the woman’s
patchy hair in a facsimile of care.
what I remember,” she said, “when I think back to those days? I remember how
terrified you were, by the darkness you saw inside me. And I remember how excited
I was, about what I knew I could become, if only I could escape your strictures.”
Liliana’s smile widened. “Well, it turns out we were both of us right. And there’s
something poetical about that, I think.”
sensed movement out of the corner of her eye, and she glanced down to see the
revered mother’s functioning arm scrabbling for the bell pull. But Liliana
brushed the old woman’s arm aside, and, gathering the bell rope in her own
hand, she tucked it safely out of reach.
“If only you
knew the number of times I’ve thought about coming back to this world, just to
kill you,” Liliana said, her tone of voice still friendly – for the sake of
anyone who might be passing outside – even as her words grew cold, and sharp,
like a razor glinting through silk. “You ought to be flattered, really, by the
amount of thought I’ve given you in my dreams.”
in close, so that she whispered in the old woman’s ear.
“But then I
thought to myself: ‘No, Liliana, that would be to quick, and too easy. She
doesn’t deserve as much kindness as that. How much better to let old age take
her, instead? To let her wither away, to see her dignities stripped from her, one-by-one,
until her last days are passed in pain and decrepitude, so that she will know
the same terror and helplessness that you once felt?’” Then Liliana drew back,
so that she faced the old woman, and smiled. “And, you know something, revered
mother? I was right. This is so much better.”
stood from the stool, and she smoothed-out her dress.
you to reflect upon that, revered mother,” she said. “And you will have rather a
long time to reflect. I shall have a word with the nurse, on my way out, and I
have several potions which I shall prescribe, with which she may keep you alive
for some time.”
shrugged, and pursed her lips in faux concern.
you can’t live forever,” she said. “That privilege, revered mother, is reserved
for we few, and you are not among our number. But do not think that you will be
free of me, when your time inevitably comes. For, you see, as the last of your
living kin, I have made arrangements with the head nurse to collect your body
from these halls, after you pass.” Liliana smiled. “And death, my dear revered
mother, is only the beginning of your repayment to me.”
knelt down one more time, to whisper once more into the withered woman’s ear.
“Which of us
is God now, dear mother?” she said. “And which of us the heretic?”
kissed the old woman’s forehead, and pulled the bell to call the nurse.