because that was not a funny joke

hi! a note to all of my followers and mutuals

ok what ive decided/realized is that im kind of uncomfortable with how ive been presenting myself on here? as far as the nsfw stuff and frequent cussing i mean its just really far removed from how i myself am as a person so im gonna try to change that!! have patience w me! i’m mostly just going to try to stop cussing on here and stop with the explicitly nsfw comments like the kink jokes will probably still stay because they are actually funny but yeah!!

im sorry if u want to unfollow me because i honestly do love yall and i’m gonna miss u if u do unfollow but if u don’t feel comfortable on my blog then do whatever you gotta do!!! no hard feelings on my part :)

but yeah please have patience with me and idk if i’ll be as funny and i’ll definitely lose notes but its really unhealthy for me to continue with this kind of cognitive dissonance between how i act on here and who i really am

thanks for sticking with me this far yall!!! it means the world that you havent given up on me yet :)

xo, allie

like…the first thing people irl notice when they meet me is two distinct things: im ugly and dress ugly, and im obnoxiously loud and talk dumbly

so its completely baffling for someone i know in person to genuinely be interested in dating me? in pursuing me in any manner, really. my first impression is as strong as it is embarrassing, so i dont know how someone could look at me and decide “yes, i would date this person” and keep thinking that…for like…as long as they do

maybe its because ive spent my entire school career being bullied and outcasted. maybe its because there have been countless occurrences in which “my friend likes you” is said in a joking, mocking manner. in which the thought of dating me is something funny.

im loud, and im ugly, and when i talk i sound stupid and obnoxious. 

so i dont get it!

summonerorthan replied to your photoset: mangoluvah: lagonegirl: This is amazing …

How is this funny at all? this is fucking lame. You think *anyone* born in the last? What 20 years is responsible for shit someone did 100 years ago? Are YOU fucking responsible if your ancestor robbed another? No? Then dont fucking do this. Piece of shit.

i hope someone doesn’t buy into the concept of “white guilt” because this is one intense reaction

As a white girl, I don’t take offense to this post, personally. I think a lot of white people are incredibly ignorant and while the joke might be cutting it’s also meant to bring a lot of self-awareness. PoC are fucking tired, and I don’t blame them for sarcastic remarks, especially when they run into the same comments throughout their lives.

There is a level of responsibility, and that’s being aware of our pasts and being better for it. Reacting like you do? Probably not the best way.

i hate when straight women w short haircuts come into my salon and start joking about having a lesbian haircut/requesting short hair that “doesn’t make them look like a lesbian LOL”

today a straight woman sat down and showed me the picture of the haircut she wanted and she was like “i showed this picture to my husband and he was like ‘wow are you gonna get a girlfriend now’ haha. i love him he’s so ridiculous”

i never know what to say. it feels weird, because i know they say these things to me under the assumption that i’m straight. i don’t know how i’m supposed to respond. “oh don’t worry, you definitely don’t look like a lesbian!” or “omg don’t worry i won’t give you a LESBIAN looking haircut haha”

i can’t just out myself and play along. i do everything in my power to prevent outing myself to any of my clients.

and it feels like some cruel joke is being played on me, like this is straight humor that women laugh about behind our backs. i mean i know it is. it’s just weird being a part of it. i don’t know how to ask straight women to stop joking about butch lesbian haircuts while they’re in my chair. i don’t know what to do when straight women laugh about looking like a lesbian, i don’t really know how to take that, like if it’s a joke at the expense women like me or just harmless commentary. i don’t know what to say, and i can’t bring myself to laugh along with them.

it’s not a subject i want to talk about. i know that makes me sensitive, but i’ve been through a lot of very traumatic experiences because i’m gay. it’s humiliating to perform a service for straight women who seem to think there’s something funny about people daring to think they might be gay

  • Inside Makoto's mind: Wait, is Haru into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.
  • Makoto: Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with!
  • Haru: *laughing* That's really funny!
  • Inside Makoto's mind: Well, that's not a fair test... That joke is hilarious.
the signs as scary things (because why not)

aries: the split second before something hits you in the face

taurus: projectile vomit

gemini: seeing someone outside your window at night

cancer: an abandoned house

leo: an angry 4 year old

virgo: first day of highschool

libra: almost spraying perfume in your eye

scorpio: when you fall and nearly die

sagittarius: getting lost in the middle of nowhere

capricorn: paper cuts

aquarius: the haunting fact that the world is dying

pisces: society

I saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2 again today and noticed a bunch more things on the rewatch.

  • First of all I was expecting to be bored at least some of the time (I mean, I just saw it a little over a week ago), but I never, ever was, not even once. This movie uses every minute so well. (Unlike the first one, where most of the Ronon and Thanos scenes dragged horribly even the first time, and were completely skippable on a rewatch.)
  • I love how the end of the movie recontextualizes some of the earlier scenes. For example, Mantis’s misery and fear is so obvious when she first meets the gang, and in most of her scenes afterwards. The first time you watch it, her anxiety is easily read as nervousness around strangers. The second time, though, it’s such a gut-punch to see her standing behind Ego, wringing her hands, and knowing why.
  • Drax mistaking Yondu for Peter’s actual father is another of those fantastically recontextualized scenes. The first time, it’s funny, just a tossed-off joke. The second time, though … right in the feels. Because Drax, for the most part, doesn’t get the whole concept of people pretending to be something other than what they are. He watches Yondu and Peter interact with each other and he totally gets the actual relationship in a way even they don’t.
  • Speaking of which, there is some really brilliant editing in this movie. This time around, I noticed how it cut from Ego’s “I’m your dad, Peter” right to the first installment of Yondu’s storyline (which also involved interacting with his parental stand-in, Stakar). And none of the significance of this is clear if you don’t know the characters’ emotional context! You basically can only pick it up after having seen the movie once.  
  • The pacing on all the emotional arcs is so, so good. I didn’t even really notice, the first time around, how strong the Peter-Rocket arc is, from their fighting in the beginning, through Rocket not wanting to leave him on the planet, to their little moment of connection at the end.
  • I still can’t get over how this movie has eight major characters (not counting Ego; let’s not count Ego) and every single one of them has a) an emotional arc of their own, b) at least one strong platonic relationship arc with a beginning, middle, and end, and c) at least one scene in which they get to be awesome and do something important. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Even the noncombatants. Even the baby!
  • The first time around, I didn’t really notice how brutal Gamora and Nebula’s fight is. @sheronm pointed out how incredibly OTT Gamora picking up the ship cannon is (in a way female characters rarely get to be) but the whole fight is like that: brutal, dirty, vicious, and not sexualized in the slightest. Speaking of which …
  • The only shirtless scenes in the whole movie are guys (Peter on the ship, and Yondu at the brothel). The closest the movie comes to a romance arc is Peter and Gamora flirting and dancing. I still adore how Mantis and Drax make it explicitly clear that they aren’t into each other in a sexual/romantic way, and yet the most important relationship either of them has in the movie is with each other, and he’s willing to die to save her in the end. The movie doesn’t completely ignore romantic love (the Peter/Gamora relationship is still important), and it is true that there are a few sexist jokes (like Peter hitting on the Sovereign queen – though he apologizes for it, which is a rare thing). But overwhelmingly, this is a movie that never dismisses its female characters to “love interest” or sexualizes them any more than the male characters are.
  • When I saw this movie the first time, I thought the soundtrack and use of music was better in the first movie, but now that I’ve seen them both back to back, I was so, so wrong. They both have great music, they both have some great musical scenes, but I think it’s mostly that the first movie has a faster, more actiony soundtrack, while the second movie has a slower, gentler, more emotional soundtrack that I didn’t fully appreciate at first. But in the first movie, the music is mostly a (well-done!) melodic accompaniment to the action, while in the second movie, the songs are very carefully fit to the scenes in which they occur – whether the important thing is the peppy/awful contrast (“Come a Little Bit Closer” over the murder montage), or the whole point is that the song is so terribly, cheesily on point (“Brandy”), or sometimes because the song fits the emotional tone of the scene in the best fanvid kind of way (“Father & Son”, or the repeated use of “The Chain” for the characters being separated and then coming all back together in Peter’s love-epiphany/Power of Friendship™ moment at the end).

It’s just sooo goooood. I really didn’t expect a bombastic, ridiculous musical comedy in space to genuinely be one of the best movies I’ve seen in ages.