my SO recently told me that he was frustrated that we haven't had sex yet. i've never been a touchy-felt person, and he said that sex is a really important part of our relationship because we'd get to connect physically. he didn't want to sound shallow, but he really wants to be sexual bc it's important to him. i don't know what to do. asexuality is new to me and i feel like the only solution to "fix" things is for me to just power through it and put out. i feel very broken. any advice?
Do not “power through” sexual situations because you feel like you have too. Like if there was one consent rule I could teach everyone is these sort of thoughts show you don’t want to consent in the first place. And you don’t need to be convinced otherwise.
What I would suggest if this SO is someone you’d like to keep is figure out your own feelings towards sex and sexual situations. If you don’t know, tell them that you need time to consider it. If you do know, tell them how you feel about it. If they try to convince you otherwise they aren’t listening or respecting you.
If you feel like honestly trying because you too want to feel closer or don’t mind then go for it. But if you don’t want to, because you don’t want to, it’s not owed to a partner. It’s not owed because they are sexual or it has a meaning to them that it doesn’t to you. -T