When you read the newest chapter of the smut scene that goes on forever Ten count in the uni library and it’s literally 4 pages long and you could be done in 30 seconds but you spend 10 minutes on it because you need to figure out just what kind of position they are in and what the hell they
“Age of youth was really great and had a lot of potential. I’m just sad that Hwayoung was removed she really gave the group a good dynamic. It’s a shame she only made a cameo even though they said it’s not due to her “scandals"”
I don’t see Reputation as being an album that’s purely satire- where each song exists purely as a mockery/response to “media criticism”. I don’t even think that that’s what she’s doing with these two singles.
Yes, I think they’re both responses to common perceptions of her and so, to a degree, skewerings of what has been said about her. But I consider both of them to be more about performance than they are about satire.
She’s leaning really strongly into different sides of her personality and her musicality and creating songs that are little worlds for specific emotions and feelings to live as a whole unit. Sure, you can read them all as satire or mockeries or inside jokes to be appreciated only by her- “Taylor doesn’t really think of herself as a robber? so this has to be satire?”- but I think that’s a limited reading of what she’s doing. And I don’t buy it. Taylor rarely does anything that she doesn’t mean in one way or another. On some level, she’s always serious. (It’s why I love her.)
The anger in lwymmd is real and it’s Taylor’s. The feeling of love as dangerous and reckless is Taylor’s. (We’ve seen it before!) She understands it and feels it or she wouldn’t write it. She wouldn’t be as convincing.
It’s not all of what she’s feeling- even at one given moment. It’s not all of who she is. Girl has layers! She always has! What she’s doing is taking one feeling, one moment, one heartbeat and expanding on it- building a performance (a persona) out of it. But that performance is always rooted in reality and in her identity as a person. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
My guess is that Reputation will be an album that tries to unpack much of the criticism thrown at her as well as the more positive and public perceptions of her. But I also think it’ll be about showing 15 different sides of Taylor, 15 different sides of the real girl at the heart of it all. We don’t need to worry about where Taylor is in all of this. All of the songs will be the “real” Taylor. She, like all of us, just has many sides.
Kendra’s death was so frustrating. There was no mourning. And I guess that makes sense, because the only person she had a real connection to was Buffy and Buffy had a lot of other things to deal with, and then we didn’t her for months so we don’t know if she mourned.
But still, she was a good character and it’s like her death had no weight other than to raise the stakes (I tried to find a way to word that that didn’t make a fucking stupid pun but I couldn’t) which they didn’t really need to do, because Jenny was already dead and Angelus is intense all on his own, and to bring Faith into the picture.
She didn’t get to have her own character development and problems, really. It was always about being a mirror to Buffy and furthering other plots/characters and that’s just unfortunate because Kendra’s got so much potential.
I liked the scene of Raphael telling Izzy about shadowhunters hunting downworlders for sport and taking their fangs, warlock marks, etc and her having no idea. Of course shadowhunters don't tell that part of their history. But those affected by their actions are all too aware of it. Definitely seems familiar to real life
I also thought that was an amazing scene, for all of these reasons. And also, I think it’s really important that this is a horrible piece of shadowhunter history that they clearly refuse to acknowledge, and it was incredibly recent. It wasn’t generations ago, or before the Accords, or even really ‘history’. It was a generation of shadowhunters that Izzy still knows, and deals with.
Not only does that make it more shameful that Izzy has never heard about it, but it also really highlights the fact that shadowhunters are so focused on the fact that they USED to do horrible things, but they insist that they’re better now. Anytime brutality or racism against downworlders is brought up, nephilim jump at the chance to say “Oh but that was history, now there’s ~The Accords~ so clearly everything is Good and we’re not like those OLD shadowhunters who were Bad.” This was post-Accords, and it was talked about as though it wasn’t just radical groups like the Circle. It was just a fact of shadowhunter culture, and a recent one. I think it’s incredibly important that Izzy learned that piece of nephilim history, and I hope the ramifications of it are actually discussed at some point.
It didn’t matter how you built your pyre. It
still doesn’t. You weren’t sure how you were going to fracture yourself and
fall together in a better way - like gravity, like collapsing into a black hole
- but if death is an inevitability, surely the death of an ego is inevitable
It wasn’t supposed to matter, but it did. You
carried sadness around you - you did, you did, and you still do. So what would
come first, the sadness or the memories that caused them? It was a sick
juxtaposition - it was the contrast between ‘okay’ and 'not okay’. You think
that if you had never learned how to be happy in the first place you wouldn’t
be so sad now. You think there’s still plenty of time left to be happy.
What did they - the pictures, the chatlogs,
the people - matter to you now anyway? Physicality is easy to burn, physicality
can disappear - into carbon under bunsen burners, into smoke. It was what came
after you were afraid of - of not having anything to look back at, of not being
able to pretend that this past was your future. It was not having these
security blankets - not being able to read these conversations and trace over these memories until they were
as smooth as your bathroom tiles from wear.
You think about them a lot. If a relationship
has ten effort units total, and you give all ten, then you’re not going to get
anything back. If you look up to someone, if you spend hours social media
stalking, if you keep up obsessively without getting any acknowledgement of
your existence, if you write emails that never get replies, if you spend hours
upon hours drafting messages that never get read - then do you not force them
to look down on you?
And you wanted to become something greater,
to become a phoenix at the threat of rebirth - wanted something of revenge, or
regret, or some other unnameable noun that started with r. You didn’t want to
become something greater if they weren’t going to look back at you.
But not now. The pyre is built and the
funeral is ready. There are no white flowers, no observers, no wills or last
rites. Nothing but you and the flame. Nobody will cry for your death - but then
again, do you need anyone to?
What the fuck with Americans trying to glamorize high school years? Put a filter on, add some grain, take photographs of young lovers kissing each other and running around in a forest, make films of group of friends driving in the countryside and siblings enjoying the sun on a boat. Light a cigarette, eat snacks that go well with alcohol, somehow the reason behind is just some dumb boy dumped our girl. No. Take off that filter, this isn’t 90s anymore, iPhones in everyone’s hands have clearer vision. Teenage years isn’t only about the social drama and occasional sadness that seem to take over your life. In fact, it revolves around what the fuck am I gonna do with my life, with my parents pushing me to study law and the craving of a gaze from a boy I’ll never actually love on the top. The truth is, if teenage years were dessert you’d throw the tasteless cake ornaments away and dig the frosting to eat the plain cake. Indie rock will never play in the background as you kiss your lover on the shore and fireworks color the night sky and camera won’t romantically lose focus. In reality, life’s not romantic. Teenagers are dreamy and we like to deafen ourselves with loud music but we’re not romantic. That was childhood. In high school years you get closer to college and life gets more complicated and real. Those are the years you lose someone from your family for the first time and start to notice that people are dying one by one, so you realize your parents aren’t gonna be a around forever. You start to study more and read more and understand more and even pay attention to politics a little. You regret kissing not kissing, loving not loving, speaking up shutting up, isolation socializing because teenage years are a giant ball of mess, it has knots you will eventually give up solving. What I’m trying to say to those 25, 30, 45, 60 year old photographers and filmmakers who get applause by their peers for perfectly capturing the youth daze, that wasn’t a deep take on the way a teenager’s mind work, that was nostalgia.