because she really is just a girl

‘’Just pretend to be my boyfriend’’

‘‘ Writing Prompt #20 with Bucky “Just pretend to be my date” or boyfriend to like a wedding, someone’s party, or a high school reunion???’‘ was the request by @thedemonsweshare, so I wrote it down for her and I really hope she likes it. I changed it from my date to boyfriend because that made more sense in that one-shot!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
None, just some cute Bucky fluff

Originally posted by theimpossibleg1rl

Olivia was the girl in school that everybody loved. She was popular and a member of the cheerleader team. But you were the complete opposite. Your group of friends was not that big, just three or four really good and also best friends. While she went out with many other guys you never heard of, you prefered to stay away from these huge events like these big parties on the weekends.

But still, you and Olivia were really good friends in high school. You helped her with her math exam while she tried to introduce you to some handsome members from the high school football team.

And that was the reason why you were now standing in front of a confused Bucky Barnes, who was looking down on you while he took a sip of his coffee “What shall I do?”

Just pretend to be my boyfriend. Please, Bucky, you have to help me“ you pleaded and already wanted to kneel in front of him before he stopped you from doing so and sat down on the couch.

’‘Can you just tell me why I should do that?“ he blinked and sat down his mug of coffee as you sank down beside him and sighed ’'You know, when I was in high school, I wasn’t really popular and I was never really good at talking to the boys I liked and so…I never had a boyfriend when I was going there and neither when I was studying…and my friend Olivia was soo popular and knew so many guys who would have liked to be her boyfriend. She always dated these dream guys and…I was alone. Sitting in my bed and watching TV”

“So you want me to come with you so you can show them that you found your own dream guy?“ he grinned widely while saying dream guy and raised his eyebrows ’'I’m really flattered that you would put me to the dream guys”

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Barnes“ you slapped him playfully and laughed before you asked him again ’'So would you be the most kindest person in the world and be my boyfriend for that evening?”

“I’ll do it but only because it’s you, doll“ Bucky winked at you before threw yourself at him and gave him a big hug ’'Thank you so much, you’re the best“

Only three days later, the big day was there.
You were just standing in the bathroom and put on some mascara when you heard someone knocking on your door. It was Bucky who didn’t bother to just come in ’'Doll, come on! We gotta go if you want to be on time.”

He looked for you and went straight to the bathroom where he found you. Bucky’s mouth fell open when he took in your appearance and blinked a few times after you turned around “You look good. I like that shirt”

You nodded to his black button up shirt which he had combined with some dark blue jeans. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.Just then you realized his look and your gaze went down on you
“Is the dress to much? I told Nat it would look stupid on a high school reunion” You already wanted to zip it down when Bucky began to shake his head

“No, you look fantastic! Don’t worry about the others. You look great“You smiled and kissed his cheek ’'Thank you, Buck. So let’s go. We take Tony’s car” Before Bucky could ask if you had even asked for permission, you waved with the keys and he smiled before following you to the elevators.

“You don’t have to be nervous, doll. You look fantastic and you have an amazing job. You’re saving the world with the greatest team and you’re fake dating a superhero” Bucky smiled at you and held your hand while you were still sitting in the car after he parked in the parking lot next to your old high school.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be nervous. Do you know what you have to say when they asked you how we met?” you savely asked him again to make sure he still knew what to do. Smiling, he nodded and opened his door before leaving the car just like you “Don’t worry, [Y/N]. I know what to do. Just trust me and everything will be fine”
He took your hand and led you to the great building where all the others were already waiting.

They were all gathered in your old main class room and cheered when you came in together with Bucky who was still holding your hand.

“[Y/N]!” Olivia squeaked and came over. She gave you the most tightest hug you ever got that you almost lost your breath before she let go of you “It’s so good to see you again and your..boyfriend?”

Her gaze went to Bucky who smiled friendly and held out his hand for her to take “Hey, I’m James. But everyone calls me Bucky. And yes, boyfriend.”

“You’re doing well, [Y/N]. So, you’re dating a superhero and you’re also a superhero yourself. Wow, that’s really…unexpected” she smiled before Olivia introduced you to her boyfriend who was the trainer of the hometown footballteam.

You two chatted while Bucky always held your hand or gave you a kiss when you told something funny and he laughed about it. It made you blush when his lips kissed your cheek.Something inside you wished that it was real. That Bucky was your boyfriend and you lived in a happy relationship. But it wasn’t true what made you a little bit sad.

“Soo..Bucky, how did you meet [Y/N]? I mean, she barely leaves her room” Olivia laughed but to Bucky, there was nothing funny about it because he knew that sometimes you needed some you-time for yourself which was totally okay for him because he understood it.

“Actually I met her when I was introduced to the whole team” he began and you stopped breathing.

That was not the story he was suppose to tell her.

“Everyone was really friendly but also really careful to be nice and [Y/N] just walked in, by the way she totally forgot that Steve was already introducing me to everyone, and she just went with the words 'So when comes this weird dude with the metal arm?’ and stopped right in the door way when she noticed that I was already there. That was the first thing she said right into my face and it was so adorable because right after that she quickly apologized. I knew that I would like her really much. Then it came that we talked much about everything and nothing til the day came where I asked her out and she gladly said 'Yes’. I was really happy and still am because…she is the best and I love her”

Bucky looked you right in the eye when he said so. He was speaking the truth. You almost wanted to cry when he came closer and kissed you softly on the lips. First you were shocked which you didn’t show but then you smiled into the kiss and returned it.

After you broke the kiss, you looked into his deep blue eyes and smiled softly “I love you too”

Olivia just sat there in silence and took a quick look at her boyfriend before she gave you a fond smile “I’m really happy that you found someone who speaks with so much love about you. You can be proud that you’ve found Bucky”

“I am. I really am” you hold Bucky’s hand and felt that he gave yours a little squeeze before you turned to him again and gave him a kiss.

I hope that’s okay.

(Request: could you write an imagine where the reader is quiet and doesn’t talk too much to everyone (she’s part of the family tho) but then someone’s bothering daryl so she stands up for him and they end together because they understand each other?)

Note: sorry this took me a little long to write, i hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by onlydarylnormanfic

“Hey (Y/n), we’re having a get together tonight, you wanna join?” Sasha walked up to you as you were sharpening your knife on your porch, she was accompanied by the rest of the girls.

“I think I might just keep watch or something, I’m not really in the mood for that” you replied, offering them an apologetic smile and going back to your knife.

The girls looked at each other before sighing and walking away. You looked up and watched them get further away from you. As much as you tried to isolate yourself from the group, they always tried to bring you back in, and most of the time they succeeded, until someone died and you would push them away again. It was like an ongoing circle. Your mind wandered to Daryl, and how you isolated yourself from the group when he was taken by Negan. You had experienced the worst pain imaginable that night in the line-up, it got even worse when they took Daryl away. He was the only person in the group who properly understood you, and you understood him, that’s why you got along so well.  You were brought back to reality when you heard whistling in the distance. You quickly raised your head and felt your heart pound, it was Negan. You saw his silhouette through the gate and you stood up and ran over to it, followed by Rick.

“Let me in!” Negan tapped on the gate with Lucille and a shiver ran own your spine. You opened the creaky gate and you saw Negan, three big trucks filled with his men behind him.

“Well aren’t you a pretty thing” he smiled at you. You crossed your arms over your chest, not amused at his flirtatious comment.

“(Y/n), I got this” Rick said, pushing you behind him. You watched Negan’s men while Rick and him were conversing, your eyes skimmed over their faces until they landed on a familiar one. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you saw him, Daryl. You went to move forward but you stopped himself when you saw his beaten and bruised condition. Dwight was standing next to him, holding Daryl in place. The sight of him like that made your blood boil as you thought of all the terrible things they had done to him. You looked back to Daryl and noticed he was staring at you with sad eyes and your heart broke for him. You were so angry with the saviors that you hadn’t even realised they were walking into Alexandria.

“Search all the houses and take what you want!” Negan shouted to his men. “But only half” he reminded them.

You stepped back and watched as his men ran to the houses, they were in and out in a second and you looked at Rick for him to do something but he only shook his head you, reminding you that he wasn’t in charge anymore.


You looked to your left and saw Dwight pushing Daryl towards one of the trucks.

“Hey!” you shouted, finally having enough of staying quiet.

“He’s not a fucking animal” you said, walking over to both of them. Daryl looked at you shocked and Dwight looked confused.

“(Y/n)!” You heard Rick shouting behind you but you ignored his calls.

“That’s far enough” Dwight said, stepping in front of Daryl.

You both stood inches away from each other, and you could cut the tension with a knife. You felt the groups eyes on you now and you wondered if you should have stayed quiet, what if you got Daryl in more trouble?

“What’s going on out here?” Negan asked, walking over to you and Dwight with Rick next to him. Rick was holding Lucille and he looked traumatised, maybe you should calm down a bit, you didn’t want to be responsible for getting anyone else killed.

“I just think your man should stop playing God in other people’s lives” You said with less confidence than before.

Negan licked his lips and smirked at you. “You got yourself a protective girl here huh Daryl?” Negan wrapped an arm around him and he flinched at the connection. “I’ll make you guys a deal” Negan turned to Rick. “How about I take all your weapons and whatever else we want, and you get your boy back” Negan looked at you when he said that.

You looked at Rick and you knew he was considering it. There was no way he would say no but it would mean working extra hard to get supplies, and to find more guns. “Done” Rick said.

“Brilliant, you know what to do guys!” Negan shouted to his men and they moved to the armoury and the supply room. “A deal’s a deal Dwight” Negan raised his eyebrows at him.

Dwight grunted before pushing Daryl in your direction and as soon as he got close to you he pulled you into a hug, hiding his face in your neck and hair. You placed one hand on the back of his head and the other around his shoulders. It felt so good to have him back, knowing that he wouldn’t be hurting anymore. But you were sad about not having anything to protect yourself with. As the men were packing up the trucks with the rest of your supplies, Negan said his goodbyes and left Alexandria. Daryl then turned to Rick and hugged him too, after all it was him that made the deal.

“We’re glad to have you back” Sasha and the rest of the group ran up to hug Daryl, and when they were all done he turned to you again.

“You need to get cleaned up” you laughed but he only smiled in response, he looked exhausted. You took his hand and led him back to his house that lay vacant from when he was last there. You spent the next hour waiting for Daryl to have shower and clean himself off. You were sitting on the bed, reading the blurb of a book when he came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh, my god” You covered your mouth and stood up, slowly taking a step towards him. His body was covered in black bruises and red marks. “What did they do to you in there?” you asked, part of you not wanting to know the answer.

Your hands gently touched his bruises over his shoulders and back, his previous scars sticking out from the irritated skin.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m home now” He said, his voice low and gravelly.

“Sorry” you shied away from him, realising what you were doing. You looked down to the floor and told him that you had to go but he held your arms and kept you in place.

“You’re the only person who stood up for me today, I saw everyone watching but no one said anything” He said. You looked up at his eyes and saw that they beamed down at you.

“It was nothing-” you started but you were stopped as he placed his lips on yours, the feel of them rough as they had cuts on them from his time with the saviors. You wrapped your arms around his neck, making him flinch. You quickly took your arms away and broke away from the kiss.

“Sorry” You said again, genuinely feeling bad for hurting him.

“It’s alright. You stayin’ the night?” He asked, moving to put on fresh clothes. You turned your back to him as he changed.

“I don’t know, maybe it would be good for you to have the bed to yourself” you said.

“I’ve had a whole cell to myself for ages now. I don’t wanna be alone” He said, making you turn and look at him.

He was fully clothed now and he had a pleading look in his eye, but you knew Daryl, he would never beg. “Okay” you nodded your head and walked over to him. “I’ll stay the night”

You lifted up on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips before moving to the bed and giggling when he jumped in with you. You rested your arm on his chest as you both lay in the bed, talking about everything and anything. You were glad he was back, finally you could relax and maybe even socialise with the group more. You both fell silent and you closed your eyes and fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating next to you.

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. He’s nice and kind and interested, what else could I want?

Why do I not feel attracted to him at all? I should see where this goes - sparks are a myth, I can surely develop some attraction to him at some point! Doesn’t matter that I get a panic attack every time I’m about to see him and have to force myself out of the house!

We kissed and I didn’t feel anything at all? That’s okay I was just nervous, surely it will be better next time!

This girl on the bus is really pretty! Oh gosh she’s actually so cute, I love her face, I wish I could kiss her! Oh my god, what if I’m actually gay?! That would make so much sense!

Lol no, I’m surely just overthinking things because I’ve got commitment issues and I’m scared of getting into a relationship with that guy! Straight as a ruler!!!


Hello, I have been reading your blog and I think all camren shippers are feeling sad (that article kind of kill laucy and camren at the same time) but if you really think about the situation is just really weird because laucy always credited themselves as sisters and when lauren wasn’t having a boyfriend, she was so whipped for camila so The only time laucy could have started dating is in 2015 (at the end) at the same time camila’s departure was being planned, I think is really smart how their team is managing this, lauren came out, she had a girlfriend, camren was never real (now obviously camila is “straight”) but laucy broke up so that means lauren is now available for whatever kind of pr they want (could it be a boy or a girl?) there would be a lot of speculation and it is the right time for pr camila so win-win right

Credit: @analizingcamren

anonymous asked:

He pushed a girl into a wall (and she already had back problems so...) and her boyfriend(?) punched tanner so yeah

i’m gonna say this: i really, really get anxious about stuff like this, because as an abuse victim i just kinda….idk. shut down? when people that i really like or “look up to” are accused of something like this, it’s really difficult for me to process, emotionally and just all together, especially when it’s all going down on twitter ~

i looked through all the tweets and tanner said that security tackled him into a few kids, that might be how the girl ended up getting “shoved” - brewski may have overreacted, the girl, having health problems, might have gotten hurt when they all got pushed, it could just be a huge misunderstanding with that part of the situation - tanner and brewski definitely have some other beef between them that’s aggravating the situation i think, personally, i don’t think tanner would shove a girl because a few weeks ago he called out a dude for being super misogynistic and objectifying women, so pushing a girl ON PURPOSE doesn’t really seem like something he would do, but who knows??? we’re definitely missing some context in the tweets between him and brewski, we weren’t there last night, we don’t really know what their relationship was like before then, and we don’t know what the deal is with the girls they’re talking about. i think there’s DEFINITELY something else to the picture that we’re missing and it’s a little early to decide what’s what.

Hi. Current state: chaotic/ completely overwhelmed/ knocked down by life.

I actually have to be somewhere right now, but I’m just on the floor crying. The new uni period is extremely chaotic, which doesn’t really go well with ADHD. I can’t go to work for 6 weeks (which is my favourite place on earth), because of statistics. I have too many things, too many people to meet to fit in one day. I’m trying not to feel again, which I know isn’t good. There’s no one I can go to right now, just to get everything sorted. Well, there’s one girl from my lacrosse team whom I can always message, but that isn’t really practical, because I’ll be doing stuff tonight. I could meet her tomorrow, but what if she was just trying to be nice and not really willing to be there for me?

Bye, for now. I’ll just be fake happy for the coming couple of hours.

anonymous asked:

(With frank castle plz n thank) "did you seriously break into some woman's car to get her dog out, JUST because she had the windows closed?"

“Damn right I did,” he grumbles, cradling the small dog against his chest, scratching lazily behind her ears. “The hell you think I am, huh? You really think I was gonna let this poor thing suffer in there?”

“Frank, it’s the middle of the night,” you sigh. “There’s a million reasons why that dog could’ve been in there.”

He turns to you then, and he glares at you. “You tellin’ me that I shoulda left this girl in there? Let her die of heatstroke or starvation or something?”

“Well, no,” you almost stutter, biting your lip as he takes a step forward. “I was just…you know…what if she comes back soon, you know? No? Oh, never mind.”

“Good, that’s what I thought,” he mumbles. “Come on, we’re goin’.”

“Frank you can’t take the dog.”

“What am I supposed to do with her, huh, hotshot? I’m takin’ the dog whether you say no or not.”


“I’m takin’ the dog.”


“Takin’ the dog, baby girl. Deal with it.”

anonymous asked:

please. i fucking hate untalented ficth harmony and that ugly ass bitch. i L O V E your blog and your drawings dont ruin it😩😩😩

I.. but are you seriously calling this girl untalented? With the way she sings?? Honestly most boy bands are pretty overrated compared to the vocal capacities and performance that girl bands put out there. Do you have a good enough reason to hate on her? (I doubt it because we don’t know her)

I’m just confused at people who hate other people with no reason or go around blogs spreading hate about them. I actually think Lauren is a very good role model, and if you really can’t stand her maybe blacklist ‘Lauren’.

My blog won’t be ruined by posting things about Lauren, 5h or LM. It’s my blog and I choose what to put on it.

Please reread your message and tell me this is not a rude thing to send me.. because to me it is.

anonymous asked:

At first, shipping SuperCorp was just out of sheer gayness but not anymore. It stopped being about wishing SuperCorp was canon and it became wanting Kara to be in a good and healthy relationship: out of solidarity for this female character who was growing in the past season. I'm still a big SuperCorp fan because obvi, they'd be so good together, but I'd be ready to take a random character as her love interest if it meant she would be in a happy and healthy relationship. I'm so disappointed...

Like I said in a post before, I really miss that feminist girl in season 1. For me, Supergirl doesn’t need a love interest. Supergirl know what she is doing on Earth, but Kara don’t, not yet at least, she is still finding herself. And all the healthy relationships she have, are lost in this season. She lost Cat, we barely see James and Winn, if is not for a “heroe thing”, Alex doesn’t spend so much time with Kara anymore, and sister’s night? None. I think Kara feels alone, and that’s why she is with Manoel, not for a true love..
I love Supercorp, It would be a dream that they would become Canon! There’s something there, and maybe we don’t need a big sign sayin “THEY’RE IN LOVE”, but we know that there is love..
Like you said, at this time, we only want to see Kara happy, like she was before. In a relationship or not, she deserves to be happy. 

Octavia Blake

I am SO tired of people giving this girl SO much hate. I mean I can understand you not liking a character, thinking a character is too violent for your liking..but hating on them? After something horrible has happened ? I just can’t understand it. Are you people just using her current actions for a way to get out your hate? Are you not even trying to understand what she’s going through? Because it really seems like a lot of you aren’t, and are just hating to hate or just hating on her actions because you don’t like them..yet won’t even try to understand them. I’ve seen so many people try to say that the way she’s acting isn’t valid and she’s just a whiny selfish bitch more or less. It’s annoying.

Let’s clear something up- Octavia Blake was kept hidden for sixteen years of her life, and then as soon as she was found out? She was thrown into prison just for being alive. She’s never gone to school. Everything she knows has came from what her mother and her brother has been able to teach her. That would cause her to have not much sense of what is and isn’t the right way to react to something, since she has never had to deal with anyone else besides them and what they told her. Besides the occasional fight or whatever with her mother and brother? She wouldn’t have been exposed to many conflicts and problems etc. Which would cause her social skills when dealing with intense/conflict situations to be poor. Now as soon as the 100 got on the ground? Things got intense and violent very quick, most likely leaving her to believe this was how she should react with things- violence. She’s been locked up her entire life so of course her first REAL life experiences are going to leave a big impact on her. Ever since they’ve gotten on the ground, it’s been a fight for survival..besides the love that Lincoln showed her? All she knows of real life is violence and acting out of anger. Everyone around her is doing that in some way of the word so for her? It’s just become an natural thing. Is that okay? Is that good? No and no. Should that change? Yes. Will it change? I hope so. Are her actions understandable even if they aren’t the best? Yes they are completely understandable.

Now about Lincolns death and how it’s effected her- HE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR WHAT?! LIKE A MONTH PEOPLE! A FUCKING MONTH! Losing someone you love with all of your heart takes much more than a month to get over!!! It has only been a month. I’ve never known someone or a character to get over a death of a loved one that quickly. Mourning the loss of a loved one, takes one time. There are many stages of grief that one goes through, and right now she’s obviously going through the denial/anger ones. Give her time, she will get better and she will come around to Bellamy..who she has every right to be upset at. He made choices that caused her not to trust him, and the person who he followed killed Lincoln. So he in a very small way, had a hand in his death. A lot of people had a hand in his death because they gave into the fear Pike was putting into their minds. She has every right to be upset and take all the time she needs to forgive him. Because things like this? Like grief ? It takes time to heal and to get through the stages.

Now to something a lot of people seem to get about those from the original 100? - She’s a teenager, probably not even 18 yet..even though she acts mature at times she’s still a teenager. She’s still young and she’s still getting used to being able to manage and handle her emotions. Going through everything she has at such a young age? It’s going to have an impact and it’s going to get hard to handle at some points. On top of Lincolns death..she was one of the ones to first know about the end of the world coming etc and that’s a lot to handle.

Now onto something else a FUCK load of people are forgetting- JASPER. He has been a mess since Maya died..which was well over 4 months ago by now. Hell season 3 started off 3 months after her death and he was a complete and utter mess who turned into an asshole towards a lot of people. Was it physical? No. Was it emotional? Yes. Did he have a right to take it out on others and on Clarke? No he did not. YET so many people defended him and still do even though it’s BEEN MONTHS. He hadn’t even forgiven Clarke for what she did, even though Bellamy did it along with her. So please…PLEASE tell me how it’s okay for him to mourn for months but only after a month Octavia is expected to be over it and forgiven everyone who followed Pike..including her brother? Just how the fuck is that okay?

somethingscarlet13  asked:

I love the idea that Angelique, Stanley & Lefou's daughter, goes to all the balls with them and when she's around 17-18 Belle & Adam's son, the crown prince, asks her to dance & it's as intimite and beautiful as Belle & Adam's was and then you look over and there's her dads with huge smiles on their faces because theiR LITTLE GIRL IS DANCING WITH THE CROWN PRINCE AND THEY KNOW THE LOOK IN THE YOUNG COUPLES EYES IS LOVE

These aren’t tears my eyes are just sweating

This is so beautiful. Belle and Adam have the same look on their faces as well and them and Stanley and Lefou are just so full of pride and hope cuz their babies are all grown up and nO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE ONSLAUGHT OF INTENSE JOY BECAUSE LOVE BITCHES

yesterday on my date i found out one of my classmate acquaintances works at starbucks so i might ask her if her store is hiring, i’m so. so tired of working at my current job and it’s mostly because i’ve run out of patience for literally everything there

i kinda pride myself on my patience but i have selective patience and once i’ve decided somethings not worth my time i just get really aggravated and stressed if i keep having to do it/deal with it, and it’s gotten to that point with my job so i’ve been looking for literally anything else

this girl is really nice tho, she’s in my favorite class and she’s super chill and maybe she won’t think i’m just using her to get a job because i actually do want to be her friend, but…… new job

fixed versions of the lisi harrison-exclusive normies

  • candace carver - she’s perfect as she is personality-wise but she now takes melody’s place as the main ally of the monsters. she slowly starts realizing that her parents are kind of screwed-up people
  • bekka madden - still believes that she’s no-nonsense, but reacts really emotionally to things. she and brett continue dating through the whole series and she’s suspicious of the monsters for quite a while, but only because of the harm she thinks they’ll cause to the world as a whole, not cause she thinks theyre stealing brett
  • haylee - still bekka’s right-hand girl and still acts like her assistant, but not against her will or anything, she just likes being helpful. she’s bekka’s rock
  • brett redding - he’d still be really interested in monsters, but not in a creep way like he is in the books. he’s their 2nd ally next to candace, and he still wants to make a documentary about them to lessen the stigma surrounding them. the movie goes just as wrong as it does in the book, but that’s because of the film studio taking the face blurs and voice filters off t on their own. i can’t remmeber if bekka did that or not but she doesn’t have it out for monsters THAT bad in this rewrite. ALSO he and frankie are not dating in the slightest

melody and granite don’t exist byebye. neither of them are normies but im just reinstating that they aren’t invited

pokemontrainerdeala  asked:

"Miss Mirai!" Deala calls to her recent aquantance excitedly. "What are your nicknames for your Pokemon?"

„Oh hello there! Still keeping your eggs with you, huh?“ She smiles at the younger girl. „Well sorry to disappoint you, but I didn’t give names to them. At first I just didn’t get any good ideas..and then I had a talk with a friend of mine about this..she didn’t give her pokemon nicknames either y'know? And the reason was because we caught them in the wild. They maybe had names from their family or friends already, and it wouldn’t be kind of us to just give them a new name. Plus she always told me my sense of choosing names is really bad..“ She only murmured the last part. „Oh but once the egg is hatching I want to name my new friend myself!“

“I felt like sometimes she didn’t want me born. I was like Cinderella—even though I was a dude. She blamed me for everything. Maybe it’s because I was ugly, I guess. Girls were all running from me. My brothers were better looking. When I grew older, it was all about money. Mom and I never discussed anything personal. It seemed like she always wanted something from me. One time I called her crying, because I was trying to quit marijuana, and I felt really depressed. She just told me: ‘You’re wasting all that money on weed. You could be giving it to me instead.” She used to cash my student loan checks. One time she even used my social security number to get a credit card, and I didn’t even know until I got the bill. So I detached myself from her. I stopped answering the phone. Then two years ago she called to tell me she had cancer, and she needed an operation, but I didn’t even answer the phone. I thought she was tricking me again. She left a message, it said: ‘Michael, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I love you. And I know you love me.’ And I just ignored it. And she died. And I’m haunted by that. I’ve been trying to write about my life lately, but I can’t get past my mother. I wish I could just start my story with that phone call. With her saying that she loved me. The only other time I ever felt love from her was when I tried crack cocaine. I was a teenager, and I had been using for a couple weeks, and I went in her room to ask for baking soda. She started crying, and she looked scared, and she said: ‘Michael, why do you need baking soda?’ And I felt love at that moment. And it was so strong that I quit doing crack right then. I never used again. I didn’t go to a program or anything. That’s how strong that feeling was.”

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

Headcanons for Percy’s favorite Disney movie are based on the assumption that he Loves the ocean. Cool, fine. But then why would his favorite movie be The Little Mermaid? A movie about a girl who doesn’t like being in the water, who dreams of getting away from her family and home and being independent, and in the end chooses to leave the ocean permanently, to the point she even isolates her daughter from part of her identity? Doesn’t really make sense.

And Finding Nemo? As a kid that can actually talk to sea creatures, I think it’d be hard for him to watch because it’d be so inaccurate and he’d just end up annoyed, especially when specific sea creatures are portrayed as mean. Idk, I can almost see an argument for this but I just don’t think it fits as well as others.

But Moana? It’s about a girl who loves her island and her home. She loves her people. But yet? The sea calls to her. She connects to it. Even with all the love she has for her island, she feels the tug of the sea. She always finds herself back at the water’s edge. And I just think Percy would relate to that. To her love for her family and the ocean.

Sangwoo can be really freaking stupid sometimes

The first time I was reading KS I was marveling about how Sangwoo seemed to have all the plans and seemed really smart (no idea why) but now that I’m rereading it I realized that Sangwoo really needs to chill because he is NOT good at staying lowkey about his hobbies. At all.

His first and most obvious one that we see is that he killed the DAUGHTER OF A CEO.

If I was going to start killing people I’d at least go for people who don’t have a close family/many friends, NOT people in rich families. Killing a CEO’s daughter just attracts a ridiculous amount of unneeded attention, and from what we know about Sangwoo, I doubt he had a specific reason for killing this girl other than that she was probably easy to fool.

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