You know how people describe bpd with black and white thinking?
If you don’t have bpd, it is impossible to explain how much this effects our lives. (My life at least because people casually get offended when i generalize what i mean with people like me in mind.)
Just. My point is, I am tired of having no grays.
I either try to starve myself while feeling guilty for not eating healthy or I eat 5 chocolate bars in a row and then spent the rest of the day feeling disgusting and fat.
It is just chocolate. I can’t enjoy a fucking chocholate.
And not just that either;
I don’t go out for months and then one day at a weird ass hour I am out there trying to figure out things to do so I don’t have to go back home any time soon.
I ignore cleaning my room for weeks and then I am cleaning between the tiles with a toothbrush because there may be dirt in there.
I don’t shower for days, sometimes almost weeks, and then I am busy spending an entire day with beauty products because self care is important.
I hate myself for who I became because it is my fault or I hate people who made me this way because it is not my fault.
All I need to get my life back together is just to start doing something but then I see no point in trying because no matter what I do I know it will never be enough to get my life back together ever again.
Alright, I know that I’m a study.blr with 3 followers, but just for today let’s pretend that I am a self care and fitness blogger with thousands of fans. Lately, I’ve been so stressed out about personal issues, and my relatives down in the path of Hurricane Irma (stay safe everyone) I always forget the importance of self care.. you can’t study if you don’t take the time to do basic stuff such as trimming your nails and taking some deep breaths. Self-care and nutrition effects every part of your life. (Expect these reminders from me every so often.)
The moral of the story is, when your world is going crazy, don’t just say that self care isn’t important, because otherwise you will end up like me right now, stressed out with the flu, when I should be productive.
This isn’t very original, but while I’m at it, I’m just going to list some self care ideas, big and small. If you have a free Sunday, or really any free time, just read the list and choose a few things to do. Take care of yourself. (#72 is my favorite, btw)
1) Cut your nails.
2) Do a hair mask with coconut oil.
3) Do a face mask. (Buy one, or, make one at home. One of my favorites is plain yogurt and honey)
4) You should be doing this everyday, but, meditate!
5) Take a long, warm, bath or shower. Shave, and use a brown sugar body scrub.
6) Use hand lotion.
7) Read a self-improvement book.
8) Read a fictional book.
9) Read a nonfiction book about a topic that you are interested in.
9) While we’re talking about books… grab a coffee, and visit a local library or bookstore. Just explore.
10) Listen to your favorite songs.
11) Listen to some new music.
12) Visit a local record store, and if you think socializing will help you, start a conversation with someone who is looking at the same genre as you.
13) Do a homemade pedicure or manicure.
14) Paint your nails and toenails.
15) If you have some extra money, go to the spa, get a massage, a professional facial and pedicure/manicure and anything else you’d like.
16) Try a new hairstyle.
17) If you need a trim, go to the hair salon. If you need a fresh start, get a whole new haircut.
18) Call up a friend.
19) Email a relative.
20) Look at some inspirational quotes.
21) Look at cute animal photos!
24) Do something nice for someone else, at random.
25) Take food to a friend, neighbor, or someone random!
26) Donate money to victims of Hurricane Harvey/Irma. (Or, if you are reading this in the future, donate to the people affected by a current crisis or problem)
27) Say something nice to someone you dislike, and decide to forgive them.
28) Talk to an elderly person.
29) Talk to a toddler or kid.
30) Talk to a pet.
31) Talk to your parents or relatives.
32) Donate food to the homeless.
33) Take your dog for a walk, and spend some time with them.
34) If you don’t have a dog, spend time with your pet, even if that means just sitting next to a cage.
35) If you don’t have any pets, visit a pet store!
36) Clean, or organize a certain room or area.
37) Set a timer for ten minutes and clean/organize what you can.
38) Watch your favorite TV show.
39) Watch a new TV show or movie! (I suggest Glee, The Office, and The Good Place for shows, and Moana, Frozen, Brave for movies)
40) If you have a friend or family member in the path of Hurricane Irma, give them a call or email them. They might not answer due to being busy, but, just leave a voicemail and let them know that you are there for them.
40) Write a short story.
41) Write poetry.
42) USE CAUTION with this one, and be responsible… but, if feeling angry, destroy stuff! Pop a balloon, punch a pillow, crush some fruit, shred some paper, the possibilities are endless! Just don’t harm yourself or anyone else, don’t be TOO wasteful, and don’t do this somewhere that you would get in trouble for it.
47) Make Music!
48) Take online personality quizzes.
49) Just sit in silence. Get to know yourself.
50) Do a science experiment.
51) Learn about something you’ve always been interested in.
52) Learn a new skill. It could be as simple as kicking a soccer ball or as complicated as learning a new language.
53) Sign up for a class. (writing class, yoga class, dance class, workout class, art class, whatever. It’s up to you)
54) Paint or Draw, but don’t aim to make anything specific. Just let the pencil lead you.
55) Run to the top of a hill or out into the forest, preferably in a location without many people. When you feel like it, stop, look around, and… SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!
56) I might have already said this, but.. go outside into nature!
57) Go outside
58) Go outside
59) Go outside
60) I cannot stress this enough… GO OUTSIDE!
61) Go for a run.
62) Workout! Strength and Cardio workouts are good for getting out anger, Yoga is relaxing, and stretching is good for really anytime.
63) This won’t work for everyone, but, play a game of your favorite sport with friends.
64) Make a new friend, whether it be online or IRL.
65) Go to the store and buy ingredients for a healthy recipe. Cook it yourself.
66) Drink WATER!
67) Eat a super-food. (Kale Chips, smoothies, and salads are easy and quick to make)
68) I recommend healthy food, but I’m a health crazy person, sooo, if you want a treat, make some cookies, cake, or another comfort food.
69) Drink something warm, for comfort. Tea is my favorite, but coffee or cocoa work too.
70) Drink something cold, to feel refreshed and energized. Lemon Water, Juice, Iced Tea and Sparkling water are good. Soda works too but it’s very sugar-y.
71) Speaking of sugar, AVOID IT. Same with saturated fat. It’s okay every so often in comfort food, but try not to eat it on a regular basis.
72) This one is my personal favorite… MESSAGE ME! I’m always here for you if you have any questions about this post or if you just need someone to chat with. As someone who has/still does struggle with anxiety and some other issues, I know how important it is to talk to someone who gets it.
73) As much as I stress not eating junk food, don’t beat yourself up over it if you eat some. As someone who has struggled with that, know that it’s not worth getting upset over.
74) Go see a therapist, or the doctor, or whoever you feel you need to see. Seriously, if you think you need it, get professional help.
75) If you’re not feeling well, look up some home remedies for your symptoms, but if worse comes to worse, go get some medicine, even if it’s just over the counter.
76) Tell yourself that you a beautiful, and write a list of five compliments about yourself.
77) If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, tell them that you love them and spend some time with them. If you aren’t to the ‘I love you’ point yet, just let them know that you appreciate them.
78) If you are single, invite friends over, (or stay home alone), eat ice cream, talk, and watch movies. Remember that you are never truly alone!
77) Remember, self care is important. You deserve to take care of yourself.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my own advice and drink some water. Love you all,
Teenagers are not lazy.
Teenagers. Are. Not. Lazy.
Teenagers wake up before the sun every day, often much earlier than their parents do for work. They go through 6 ½ hours of school every day, often taking difficult and rigorous classes in order to qualify for college scholarships. While doing this, they must simultaneously balance the social and emotional pressures of high school- trying desperately to figure out who they are and what they stand for in a world where they are judged so harshly.
After classes and extracurricular activities, which sometimes run late into the night, they go home and do homework. This can take hours, and be both physically and mentally draining, but they do it anyway because they have been taught grades are more important than self care.
After finishing, they go to sleep and do it all over again the next day.
So I beg of you, stop with the notion that teenagers are lazy. Stop stereotyping the group of people - yes, people - who were thrust into this system of your design. Being a teenager is hard, a lot harder than it was thirty years ago.
We wake up before the sun every day for two reasons: because it was forced upon us, and because it is the only foreseeable path towards a future worth having.
an open letter to the forty-somethings I hear this from constantly // c.r.h.
I hate the weekends where my little bug is out of town, but it does allow flexibility for me to do as I want and need. Today was so busy. How can one be so busy without working or caring for a family? LOL…
Perhaps because it is important to fit self-care in the schedule too. I came home from all my appointments and intended to to nap and then homework and a date.
Heavens!!! I slept through everything!! Perhaps that is what has happened to my dates that stood me up in the past. Lol! I have a better understanding of possibilities. 😂
Start back being more active if you haven’t been during the summer. Not only is it healthy and will keep you fit, but it will also help you prepare for P.E if you have that as a class
Keep hydrating (as always)
Start back going to bed and waking up earlier so when school starts you won’t be too tired
Get back into your school routines for morning and evening. Things like homework you can substitute with reading for the time being
Make a list of your goals for the school year
If you don’t have to wear a uniform go shopping for new clothes
Look for style inspiration to help you buy clothing that can be styled a number of ways
For uniforms by items to accessories with such as shoes, jewelry, scarves, hair accessories, and jackets
If you’re into makeup but a new lip gloss/stick, eye shadow palette etc
Make sure you have all your school supplies and extra’s of certain stuff in case you run out during the year
Handbags are cute but BACKPACKS are better! Not only are they better for your back there are lots of different style and prints you can get to suit your style.
However don’t be afraid to have a nice handbag (that will hold all your) for those days you know you look fabulous
Organise your room/desk/study area so it’s clean, tidy and you know where to find stuff
Start using a planner or bullet journal to keep track of to-do’s and more
Fill your calendar with important dates so you know when there’s no school, early dismissals and more (you can usually find this stuff on the school website)
Redecorate/rearrange your room for a fresh look for a new school year
In the time leading up to the first day, get the following done (if it’s something you do regularly or want to get done):
Nails and Toes done
The day before school starts, give yourself a spa day… do a face mask, take a bubble bath, and anything else that will help you relax
Get enough sleep that night
Things To Remember During The Year
Take care of your self because school can be stressful. While it’s important to do your best and get good grades, it’s also equally important to not let your school work consume your life, take breaks and remember to relax
Keep out of drama
Try to remain positive even when things get tough
Be yourself and don’t try to impress irrelevant people
Hi, just outta curiosity what do you consider toxic or lacking in logic that you see on Tumblr?
The extremes in which people take their social justice, for sure. For example, did you see that post about Locks of Love I reblogged last night? That post was 100% lacking in logic, with no sources, all for the sake of persecuting a company that they thought was bad. Why did they feel a need to make that post? Because they need someone to hate. Tumblr is an environment where if you aren’t actively fighting against something, you’re evil, which pushes people to persecute anything that even has a slight flaw, and blow everything out of proportion. Make a slightly ignorant comment, perhaps out of ACTUAL ignorance? Your blog is gone. And not from tumblr deleting it, from the thousands of people who will send disgusting asks until they’re run off the site, even if the comment was misunderstood, taken out of context, or as ive even seen, faked, by people who hate that blogger. There is no reasoning with the mass. Tumblr has devolved into what is actually an incredibly unhealthy mentality that people are “all good” or “all bad” but never in between, never a mix, and no one is ever safe, because tumblr will never find someone who is “all good” and if you enjoy someone who they have deemed “all bad” (which is everyone, eventually) like a musician or actor, you are also now “all bad.”
There’s also the fact that everyone has a different experience on tumblr, but everyone talks like their personal experience should account for the experience of everyone. For example, people with a certain disability telling people to STOP DOING A THING while other people with the same disability then have to fight to correct the damage done because, no, you don’t have to stop doing the thing, actually. Take scopophobia, for example. A while ago someone made a post saying that ANY imagine where someone is looking at you, even an animal, or an anime character, should be tagged scopophobia. Suddenly, every image where you could even see someone’s eyes was tagged, and people who had actual scopophobia had to spend months trying to be like “no, please stop doing this, we literally can’t even see anything on our dash anymore because now our tumblr savior is picking up things that AREN’T EVEN SCOPOPHOBIA RELATED” while others still insisted that was the way to be. Because everyone is different, and generally segmented into groups of differing opinions, there is literally no way to assure that you present yourself as “all good” to tumblr, because what may be “all good” to one group, is “all bad” to the next. It’s an unwinnable situation.
Not only that, but tumblr actively encourages self-care, which is great, but many posts take it too far. “If you don’t feel up to going to school today, don’t! You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone” was a REAL SENTENCE, IN A REAL POST, THAT I HAVE SEEN. Also “everything should be free, nothing should cost money!” these posts are made by pre-teens who lack a fundamental understanding about how society and human structure works, even back in the days before money, bartering existed. These posts are incredibly detrimental to pre-teens on this website who are going to get into the real world and get their asses kicked because they think everyone should cater to them, and are also complete bullshit and incredibly insulting to everyone who has come before them and lived with mental illness, like me, and my mother, and my grandmother, who recognized that while self-care is important, just because life is hard for you doesn’t mean you get to sit on your ass and do nothing, you have to keep going and work just like everyone else (I am not grouping developmental or physical disability into this however).
So yeah, toxic as hell and detrimental to kids who think this is how the world works.
May I please request some silly headcanons on how bros would react to the fandom' s names for each of them. (Like chocobros, sunshine, Eggy, and maybe even their ship names Gladnis and such) Only if you feel inclined to. The thought makes me laugh!
So in addition to the random things I can come up with for these guys, I’mma also put some of the collective names I’ve seen for the others. c: This will be a super fun headcanon thing to work on, so here we go!
By Any Other Name – FFXV Characters and Their Nicknames
Noctis Lucis Caelum – Sleepy Prince, Noct-Ass, Emo Prince, Sasuke, Prince of My Heart
He’d probably end up squinting a bit out of curiosity at the fact that – wow, he had alot of names to him. Alot of them associated with him giving off that emo vibe, so he had to gawk a bit and point at the names given to him. The others were hardly surprised, having to give a small nod of agreement to the Sleepy Prince and Emo Prince. There was a good reason to why that nickname existed, right? It was probably the hair.
“What’s wrong with my hair?” Noctis frowned, having to blow his bangs out of his face so he could look at the others with a firm glare. The fact that he kept blowing his bangs out of his face though seemed to only make their point stronger. Okay, so he did have a bit of emo hair, but it was just because he didn’t like getting his hair cut often. The stylists at the castle could never get his bangs they wanted it to be.
And the more he thought about it, the more exasperated by it. And not even a few moments later, when Ignis and Gladiolus returned back from the market, there Noctis was. Asleep. Because whenever Noctis got frustrated about something, he’d get sleepy and ultimately sleep off his annoyances. The others couldn’t help but sigh before they simply tucked the prince in and let the ‘emo boy’ rest up. Because nobody likes a grumpy emo kid.
The names that are typically given to him are generally positive, so Prompto doesn’t have much of an issue with them to begin with. Even so, he’s quite alright with nicknames in general, considering that he gives them out to the other boys like they’re candy. He can respect a finely-crafted and well-thought-out nickname. Of course, he doesn’t have anything particularly bad as a nickname. In his mind at least.
Chumpto is probably one of the worst names that he’s really gotten, in his mind (with Discount Cloud, that’s honestly a compliment, since (if he knew Cloud in this universe), he’d be a huge fanboy probably). Even though, it’s not really anything as bad as being called a dumbass or an idiot by his other friends sometimes. He’s a chump sometimes, and he’s not afraid to admit that.
He probably even doing the awkward finger guns as he chuckles and go ‘Number One Loser, Chumpto Argentum here~’ He just laughs to himself, but that’s because he knows his self-esteem is already crippled enough. You can’t feel sad and depressed about yourself when you’re always a joke, after all! He laughs again at the thought, then hangs his head because wow. Even the Sunshine Boy can get a little bit cloudy sometimes.
Ignis Scientia – Eggnis, Cooking Mama, Iggy Azealea, Mama Iggy, Iggilicious, New Recipeh, Meme Lord
You think Ignis would take offense to all of the nicknames in regards to him being called 'mama,’ but he’s honestly quite proud of the nickname. It’s not like he's gonna deny that he’s the party’s mother-figure, considering that he cooks for them, cleans, tailors, and so much more. He can’t even count the many things he does for the others on his nicely manicured fingernails (because self-care is important). But nevertheless, despite his ever-so busy routine to make sure the others aren’t dying or starving, he’s quite content with the nicknames – especially cooking mama, which his gets a kick out of.
Even during the times where others think he’s kind of passive on the nicknames, Ignis actually takes them to heart. Never in a negative way, mind you, for even with the nicknames of 'dumb twit’ or the like, he’d be the kind of person to acknowledge it. And ultimately use it against you if you decide to apologize in a moment of need. Gladiolus, for example, once called Ignis 'Four-Eyed Asshole,’ and you know what happened to Gladiolus? He was made to apologize because Ignis decided not to cook a goddamn thing for the brutish bodyguard.
“Iggy, where’s my food?”
“I decided to be a 'four-eyed asshole’ and not cook for you. A bloody shame. Cooking Mama is currently done in the kitchen.”
So yes. Ignis doesn’t mind the nicknames. Because it’ll be up to you to decide whether or not your next meal or chance for healing is really worth it over the name calling.
Gladiolus Amicitia – Brute, Gladdy Daddy, Super Meat Boy, Gladi-hoe, Daddio, Big Beefy Bara Bear, Tiny
Compared to the other boys, Gladiolus got off really light on the nicknames. Yeah, he’d probably be called a whole lot of 'bastards’ and 'assholes,’ but a good majority of his nicknames come off as more of pet-names, if anything. All of the adoring fans of his, captivated by his muscles, just calling him all sorts of things – especially calling him some sort of variant of 'daddy.’
The others are a little bit disturbed by how much attention Gladiolus gets, but Gladiolus is really okay with it all, especially when he can show off to his adoring fans with a flash of his muscles and a wink of his eye as he purrs. 'Who’s your daddy~?’ Fans lose their shit, everyone does, and Ignis facepalms before he hooks his finger around Gladiolus’s belt look and drags him off.
He is kind of surprised though when someone had the guts to call him 'Tiny,’ though. It was kind of uncalled for and out of the blue, so he ended up just staring down the shorter individual who called him that and arched an eyebrow. They really just call him 'Tiny?’ Yeah, they did. They kept calling him that, and after awhile, Gladiolus couldn’t help but smile every time he was called that. The sheer irony of it made it a great nickname, and he loved it just as much as the others.
This is the only life advice I will ever give:
Have no regrets. If you are scared of going to the gym because you think other people will judge you; go anyway, because I was that person too and trust me when I say this; no one is looking at you and if they are it’s only because they admire your strength to make the effort to change. If you are scared of bungee jumping, do it anyway, maybe it will feel like shit, maybe you will love it, but what matters most is that you did it, you don’t have any regrets. Want to skip class on thursday because you are drained and need some time off? do it, self care is important. Want to skip a class because you aren’t getting anything anyway and it totally doesn’t feel worth it? Don’t do it; study without fear, the power of knowledge is infinite; whether it’s 9th grade spanish grammar or AP calculus: make the effort to do it. It will pay off. Go for walks, bake some brownies, drink some tea/coffee, watch a foreign movie with/without subtitles because even if it was a shitty walk or a burnt brownie or a horrible drink or the worst movie ever made; hey, at least you had an experience. Everyday doesn’t have to be a good day and I can’t promise that you will be happy everyday, but a shit day isn’t a shit life and you will be satisfied.
Dream without fear, breathe without fear, love without fear and live without fear. Have no regrets, not just this month, not just this summer, not just this year but this whole life; have no regrets.
URGENT - So yesterday my lower back was hurting and I didn't know why but I think it was because I was binding or something? And then when I woke up this morning, some of my ribs were hurting but only if I press on them. I know I need to lay off binding with my binder for a while but binding with sports bras doesn't seem to do anything to my dysphoria because I have a big chest and now I'm afraid that I'll bind with the binder and I can't stop myself. What do I do?!
Remind yourself that you can stop yourself. Change your Self-talk and thinking; you are in control of your actions, and you can choose to make the right choice and stay safe. It isn’t easy to do because you’ll have to try to cope with the dysphoria for a while, but it’s achievable and you will be able to wait until it’s safe to bind again. It isn’t a permanent halt to your binding, and you will be able to bind again, you just have to wait a bit. Reach out to friends if you think you need more support- they can remind you to stay safe, and distract you a bit.
You can try to is hide your chest by wearing a sweatshirt or an unzipped jacket or unbuttoned shirt or whatever clothing that can distract a bit from your chest and cover it. And don’t forget our Self-care links, because it’s important to take care of yourself! I personally find that packing helps with my dysphoria when I’m not able to wear my binder, and there’s always distraction (our dysphoria tips link below lists some!)
Damaged ribs (bruised, broken, deformed, warped, cracked, etc), aggravation of existing conditions (such as asthma), heart and lung problems, ulcers, build up of fluid in the lungs, vomiting, coughing up blood, etc
If you deform/damage your ribcage, you may never be able to get top surgery, or never be able to bind again.
A non-harmful side-effect would be softer chest tissue, stretch marks on the chest, and a more saggy chest. You will likely get sagging after a while even if you bind safely!
You are worthy of your Gods. I know there are days, weeks, or even months that you may not feel like it. Just because you can’t offer something to your Gods…. Just because you have so much going on in your mundane life… Just because you take time to take care of yourself…. Doesn’t mean you are not worthy.
Your health is important. Mental, emotional, and physical. All of it. You need to take care of yourself. The reality of it is: you don’t need your Gods, but you do need yourself.
They will wait for you to take care of yourself. And if they don’t, is that someone you want in your life? Would you allow a friend or even family to treat you that way?
Because I am here to tell you no matter what you are worthy of them, not less for taking care of yourself.