How Exo Was Formed
SM: Okay you boys have all been called here because I’m forming a super group that will be the new face in fashion, media and the foreign markets.
Staff: *ahem* And don’t you mean in music as well sir?
SM: Sure, if that’s a side effect of fame we’ll go that route too. So! I have brought in 12 of the finest boys here to audition to show me if they are worth a place in EXO! Who’s first?
Baekhyun: Hello I’m Baekhyun. Some call me Baek you can call me “Bank” I have enough personality for even the slower ones in the room *eyes Kai* andddd enough charisma to become the center of all fanfictions.
SM: You’re arrogant, rude and demeaning…..I like you! You’re in! Okay who else is next?
Kris: Honestly I think you should be the one asking me if I want to be in this “boy band” not the other way around..
SM: We need you here to cash in on the Chinese babes weekly allowances, just lose the smirk and promise to stick around for the next 10 years.
Kris: *pulls out 2014 calendar and smiles to himself*
Suho: I’m Junmyeon, Um I’m really nice and I like everyone and I-
SM: You’ve been skulking these halls since ‘98 why should I let you debut??
Suho: *pulls out black visa*
SM: You’re in! NExt!
SM: A man of few words….reminds me of myself! You’re in!
Luhan: I’m really attractive.
SM: LEave this DEER boii ALONE! Being attractive is a talent! I’m not YG, I hire with my eyes.
Chanyeol: Please let me in. Yes I know I look like a cotton swab after it’s been in an ear-
Chanyeol: -But just give me a few years and I’ll be the face of this amazing group!
Baek: Um first I called dibs on being “Exo” and second you’ll only ever be the face of the group if for some reason we only had 8 people performing instead of 12 and that’ll never happen so-
Kris: Ummm I’m just asking for a friend but is this contract null in China?
SM: Channie you’re in! Moving on… who’s the panda looking guy on the verge of tears?
Tao: Hi!!! I’m Zitaaoooooo! *claps for himself* I can do martial arts!
SM: Hmm…I need people who can bend over backwards for me…okay you’re through.
Lay: I’m Yixing.
Staff: COME ON ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE????
Yixing: You’re the Staff.
Staff: I don’t get paid enough for this.
SM: He’s in.
Xiumin: I’m Minseok, I’m really good at being a level headed middle of the road type. I make girls say “awh” by only breathing.
SM: Sure you’re in let’s wrap this up I have an appointment at “I Have Better Things To Do” who are you three?
Chen: *sings nervously in 8 octaves*
Kai: I don’t really know.
Staff: Taemin said he could dance, but to not ask him any difficult questions.
SM: Poor boy…in!
Sehun: I’m just here because there’s a real lack of visuals and you need a maknae…. and because my mom told me I had to leave my room and do something productive today…..
SM: I don’t even know how to respond. I’ll let you in on a 4 year “3 lines per song” basis.
Sehun: Sounds fair.
SM: You may leave.
*all trainees get up and exit*
Staff: So do I resign in person or can i turn it in by email??
SM: Shut up peon. We did a good thing today. I can almost smell the money in the air!
Staff: Really? I smelled at least 3 divas, a broken contract, and a badly pronounced potato.
SM: Don’t be so negative! Just wait in a few years we’ll make another supergroup with 50 members!
Staff: Pls tell me you’re kidding
SM: I’m not.