because puppies are cute

Okay, so like how when sheep/kids baaa at you and you baaa back and they all baaa again?? How would aliens react is if a human on their mission started making the creatures noise back at them until they all doing it.

Well…

The mission was fairly simple in Grutona’s mind: follow the tracks of certain creatures and use environmental clues to discern aspects of the creature’s lifestyle and needs. The group had been following the large, octagonal shaped prints of a swutonaton for the past several standard hours, and up to this point, they still hadn’t actually encountered the beast.

Good. Grutona was not keen on being eaten alive today, which would surely be the result of disturbing the beast. Protocol on the mission was to leave should contact be breached with any species that was not fully documented.

However, there was one member of the team that made Grutona worry. Maria seemed to take things like Protocol as more of a… guideline. Already today Maria had disregarded rules about eating wild tree fruit claiming “they have these on my planet, don’t worry!” Grutona did worry. Especially when Maria added: “Besides, they’re delicious.” Grutona knew what type of treefruit Maria was eating, and xhe was skeptical of the claim. These deadly fruits humans called “lemons” were HIGHLY acidic and sour. On xer home world, a fruit like that would be used by deadly criminals as a poison.

Needless to say, having a human on the crew had been an eye-opening, mind-boggling experience. Grutona was learning more about universal cultures on this mission than ever before, that was for certain.

It was a few more minutes of walking along the path, Grutona taking note of the way the plant life was smashed down to the side of the path of the tracks as if the swutonaton had stopped for a time and rested.

“Ah, so it appears swutonaton are a restful breed, and likely a predator species as evident by their choice location being one leaving them so vulnerable.” Kerip, another member of the team, said this clinically, xis eyes dilating further as his species was wont to do in order to get a magnified look at things. As he was examining he spoke to his partner, Bepin who recorded xis observations on a datapad.

There was a noise further down the trail, strangely like a yawn. Grutona looked over cautiously. Maria was gone. Grutona frowned and made toward the sound hoping it was just Maria doing some sort of human thing xhe was unfamiliar with and not the beast hiding in the plant life beyond planning an attack on the mission crew.

But when had luck ever been on Grutona’s side?

As xhe rounded the bend in the trail xhe was met with the horrifying sight. Xhe would have screamed if it were a characteristic of xer race. Instead, xhe stood there in shock.

Maria stood in front of the creature they were tracking all right. The only thing was, the team was entirely wrong about what they thought they were following here. They had assumed the animal was very large, at least nine or ten times the actual size of the creatures in front of them now. And creatures they were. There were at least fifteen of these creatures and they were all piled atop one another, drooling heavily, spiked tails and trunks laying anywhere. 

“I’d definitely call this a dog-pile.” Maria chuckled, completely unconcerned at the reality that basically everything they had assumed about these creatures was wrong. Maria turned to look at Grutona, eyes gleaming in mischief. “Guess we were wrong about the elephant-sized animal with forty pig-sized feet, huh?” Grutona said nothing, still reeling. They needed to leave, Protocol demanded it, and they needed to go soon before more of the creatures woke up as one was doing now.

“Hey, look! They’re starting to wake up! They’re so cute!” Maria took another step closer to them, making cooing noises as Grutona watched in horror as more of the swutonatons started to rouse. Footsteps behind xer alerted xer to the rest of the team arriving to the scene finally. 

There was a moment of stunned silence before an exasperated sound came from Bepin and Kerip started mumbling in astonishments about all the things they had wrongly ascertained. 

“We should leave,” a voice of reason finally called from the back of the group: Teriwald, the ranked officer from the ship who had been tasked with “protecting the scientists” on the expedition.

Grutona found xer voice again, finally. “You’re–”

There was a sudden, loud sound from the pile of creatures “Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrm.”

“Okay, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” Maria was watching the herd of swutonaton with complete adoration in her gaze. Grutona had been warned to be wary of humans when they assumed a look like this one. There was no telling what kind of things they might do next. 

Whatever Grutona had expected, it was not what Maria did next. Maybe xhe thought she would have started running in circles around the group or walk over and touch one, but xhe certainly did not predict that  Maria would raise her arms in imitation of a swutonaton trunk and repeat the noise back at them in perfect imitation. “Meeeeeeeerrrrrm!”

“What are you doing, we need to go!” Teriwald reminded in an increasingly demanding tone. 

“Calm down, Waldo, we’re fi–” Maria was cut off by several cries of the swutonaton calling back at her.

“Meeeeeerrrm!” 

“Oh, this is too good!” More of the swutonaton had stirred now, and they were climbing off of each other and standing in a herd before Maria who laughed and made the noise again. 

“Meeeerrrm!”

“MEEEEEEEEERRRRRM!!!” The entire herd of seventeen (Grutona had counted in xer moments of horror earlier) swutonaton were now calling back at Maria’s prompting. 

Nobody on the team said anything as they all watched in rapt attention Maria and the herd of swutonaton yell at each other for the next ten standard minutes. 

Humans, Grutona concluded, still half horrified, are weird.

4

she’s superhuman laura do you really think she couldn’t hear (x)

How the Signs will Die

Aries: Did it for the vine

Taurus: Accidentally drank cyanide thinking it was vodka

Gemini: Drowning in own drama

Cancer: From lounging on the couch long they forgot necessities

Leo: Got into a car accident because they saw a cute puppy

Virgo: Died from sadness after the otp didn’t work out

Libra: Trampled in a Black Friday Sale rush

Scorpio: Suffocated under the weight of their own bitterness

Sagittarius: Bungee jumping with a sketchy company

Capricorn: Burned by sunlight

Aquarius: Death by roast

Pisces: Choked to death from the cinnamon in 2010

Simon: *peeks out from behind menu he’s not reading*

Baz: *glares*

Simon: *visibly blushing*

Baz: *narrows eyes*

Simon: “So, I was feeling… something… and I did… something…”

Baz: *places down menu in the restaurant they’re sitting at* *takes deep breath* “Simon… what did you d-”

~music starts playing… sexy violins… romantic stylz music~

Waiter #1: *brings giant bouquet of roses*

Waiter #2: *brings giant red velvet cake to the table, adorned with many a decorative, edible flower*

Waiter #3: *brings comically large valentines card over (even though it’s only half way through January)

Baz: *actual rabbit in the headlights*

Simon: *starts babbing* “So, that feeling I was feeling was love and I got carried away and gosh, I was just thinking about everything and things and then you! And then I asked these waiters to come over here and bring all this stuff and so *takes deep breath* Basilton Grimm-Pitch… will you be my valentine?

Baz: *deadpan glare*

Simon: *puppy-dog eyes, looking adorable*

Baz: *deadpan glare*

Waiters: *uncomfortable squirming*

Baz: “SIMON SNOW WE ARE MARRIED!”

Simon: “Still…”

Waiters: *still uncomfortable, now also confused puppies*

Baz: *resigned sigh* Yes, I will be your valentine

Simon: *fist pumps in the air* *whooping and holling with pure joy* *high five’s confused waiters*

Baz: *blushes* *hides behind his menu and secretly grins at his adorable amazing sunshine husband and thanks his lucky stars he’s married to the most wonderfully amazing goofball in the whole wide world*

@carryon-valentines

the holidays are coming up, and as someone who works in a pet store there are some things i want everyone who plans on getting animals as gifts to remember:

  • fish tanks need to be set up and running for at least one week before fish can be put it. all fish need treated water and bacteria supplements.
  • fish can only survive in a plastic bag for about an hour.
  • THE ONLY fish that can go in a bowl is a BETTA. all other fish, especially goldfish, will die/be very unhealthy in bowls.
  • goldfish are supposed to live for up to 20 years. don’t get all high and mighty for keeping one alive for a few months. they have long life spans when taken proper care of.
  • hamsters cannot live together. when they grow up, they become incredibly territorial and aggressive. they are asocial creatures that do not get along with each other.
  • guinea pigs can’t go in hamster wheels or balls. they get spinal injuries from being in a curved position and sometimes die.
  • rats and guinea pigs do better in groups/pairs.
  • hamsters, mice, rats, guinea pigs, cats, and pretty much every single animal can’t live inside a sealed box. they will die. don’t do it.
  • puppies get destructive. they break things and make messes and are loud. they need to be trained. don’t get a puppy if you don’t want to deal with training a large animal.
  • don’t fucking take kittens and puppies away from their mothers prematurely just because they’re cute. it can affect them forever.
  • cats will scratch your furniture and knock things over. declawing cats is a physically harmful and scarring process that literally permanently mutilates their paws. don’t get a cat if you aren’t willing to be patient with them.
  • birds are LOUD. SO LOUD. and incredibly messy. and they bite.
  • most lizards can get up to two feet long. some can live for 20 years. don’t get a baby bearded dragon and expect it to stay that small forever. they reach their full size within a year.
  • pets are real and they have needs. their needs are not luxuries. don’t treat them like they don’t matter.

I think 2D is the type of boyfriend to bring you breakfast in bed but the eggs are overdone and your toast is burnt but he’s got such happy puppy dog eyes because he did this unprompted cute thing for you that you have to eat every bite in front of him to make him feel happy and appreciated

  • ban ryu: you know, studies have shown that owners and their pets often look similar.
  • ji dwi: bullshit. sun woo looks nothing like me.
  • yeo wool: han sung doesn't look like me either.

Laura Moon calls Shadow – her giant, iron-fisted, convict husband – “Puppy” as a nickname. And at first its just like “aww, its because he has puppy eyes love for her. That’s cute.” But then like a few episodes later Shadow is yelling at Mr. Wednesday about robbing banks and is diffused by the presence of marshmallows and hot chocolate. So suddenly its like “ooooh.”

He’s actually a giant puppy person in a leather jacket. 

4

Words can not describe how much I love him, how much I need him - how important he is for me.
He is my anchor, my little light in the night.
He dries my tears, helps me to smile and go on.
Some people say he is a dog but for me he is much more.
He knows me more better than the most people around me.

Pentagon To You Being Short And Trying To Kiss Them

Jinho: Honestly you are the same height as Jinho and you two kiss without struggle. And small kisses will take place anywhere and everywhere where he will hold your waist every single time he kisses you- and it looks so precious and cute to everybody because u both look like puppies. 

  Hui: Will grin and sort of fanboy alittle because you are precious to him as edawn. Doesnt hesitate to lean down to kiss you but sometimes will playfully pull back before you do plant one on him which you will of course end up either smacking him or not giving him one. “I was jokinggg give me a kiss.“ 

Hongseok: Cannot handle the precious and adorable thing in this world which is you and cannot believe you are his. Will most likely pull you in for a bear hug out of excitement and lean in to kiss your lips- then your nose and forehead and cheek(back and forth several times)basically love the shit out of u

 Edawn: You’d only a be a slight bit shorter than him since he himself isn’t tall so he’d make u try your best to kiss him as he looks down at you with a playful smile. ”You’re so close, these lips are waiting for you.“ You end up charging into the kiss and pressing your lips on his too hard. he will pull back all stunned and laughing like. ”Did you do that on purpose??“

 Yeo-one: ”You’re so cute.“ He will say as he grins, then holding you firmly by the waist and bending down to kiss you slowly but softly, pulling his face back afterwards only a slight bit so he can stare at you lovingly. 

 Shinwon: This boy is so rude, he will wiggle his eyebrows teasingly as he freaking tiptoes himself to get even taller. ”Catch these lips.“ ”Forreal you are an idiot shinwon.“ Afterwards will attack you in a hug as he kisses you right away, his arms all the way around your body, pulling you in as close as possible. 

 Kino: OKAY i wouldnt say hed do the most and kneel for you to just kiss him but Im saying he might kneel for you to just to kiss him. If you were sitting on a bench at an amusement park he will get down on one knee to fix your shoelaces and then look up and make eye contact along with a sweet ass smile of his, sending you signals that he wants you to lean in and kiss him (which you do).

 Yanan: Makes his signature baby shy smile as he has his hand in his coat pocket (with your hand in there as well for warmth) and lean down to let you kiss him (cuz there aint no way he brave enough to initiate it). Eyes closed but smiling into the kiss. 

 Yuto: Damn boy is really soft but when in public with you he gets these surge of manliness, wanting to impress you and people around him so he kind of has his arm around your neck almost into a headlock to initiate the quick kiss. You pull back all stunned like what just happened, with Yuto standing there like ‘I did that' 

Wooseok: Type to pick you up and have you wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he gives you small kisses 5 thousands times. Ends up giggling and spinning until you forcefully get down off of him yourself.

Watch Me Babygirl [pt.11]

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Warnings: language

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.4] [pt.5] [pt.6] [pt.7] [pt.8] [pt.9] [previous part]  [next part]


“Jungkook it’s eight in the morning,” you groaned, rolling over and clamping your pillow around your head.

You heard Jungkook sigh- muffled by the pillow blocking your ears- and he placed gently on your shoulder.

“I promise you it’ll be worth it. Trust me, okay,” he said, his hand trailing down your back and tracing circles on it.

You sighed, rolling over to face Jungkook. Jungkook smiled down at you before helping himself into your bed and pulling you close to him. He ran a hand through your hair, you face nuzzling into his neck. You could say like this forever. Jungkook spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Be ready in an hour.”

He kissed your head lightly before slipping out of you bed, sending you a wink before he disappeared through the doorway.

You groaned again, rolling your eyes when you heard Jungkook laugh. Still, you found yourself rolling out of your bed, the cold air of your room hitting you rather unpleasantly. You shivered slightly as you slipped out of your pajamas and into suitable clothes. You weren’t entirely sure what Jungkook had in mind, but knowing that he enjoyed being active, you figured wearing anything other than a dress or a skirt would be fine.

You shuffled towards the bathroom, quickly washing your face and fixing your hair before you went downstairs to the kitchen where Jungkook and Jimin were sitting around the island eating and talking with their mouths full of food. You sighed, sitting down beside Jungkook and stealing a bite of his food.

“What do you have planned today?” you asked Jungkook.

Jungkook simply shot Jimin a look, annoying you further. Great. Everybody but you knew what was going on.

“Hey, don’t look so down. I promise you it’ll be fun. You’re not the only one who doesn’t know what we’re doing,” Jimin said, typing something on his phone.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion.

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