(2) could feel more close to the issue, and actually know more about labels they probably didnt knew, and that they could not jugde this teenagers for exploring their gender, even if its looks like a trend, but then, a transboy commented, saying that for him it was annoying too seeing so many teenagers claiming to be trans because they didnt knew how hard was to being trans, like him, and that he hated how teenagers usually said that they were trans and just
(3) would start dressing like the ‘opposite sex’ because obviously clothes doesnt have gender, and I agree with that, clothes doesnt have gender, But I answered that I think in this capitalised world, a lot of this teenagers have grown up with idea that certain clothes are made for certain genders, and using clothes they associated with others genders it was their early way to experiment gender, because a lot of them are not mature enough to realize that,
(4) and even if the ones that know that clothes doesnt define you, he didnt have the right to tell them they were not trans because he was not in their heads to know whats happening inside them. Be he insisted that the most of them were trans just because is a trend, because he didint see them suffer as he did and…I dont know. I dont know If I am wrong, or if he was just being closed minded? He is 15, and im intrigued why instead of supporting other trans young people, he was against them.
Ah, citizen, let me tell you something; regardless of Tumblr’s ‘stay on your lane’ policy it IS possible for you to be right in conversations about issues like this, because it IS possible for members of the trans community to be grossly narrow-minded; people seem to forget that, sometimes. But I’m glad you acknowledged that in general it isn’t your place to speak on trans issues.
Truscum can be just as transphobic as cis people, I’ve found, and a lot of the time even more damaging, since young kids experimenting with their gender see this and think ‘Well they’re the authority on trans issues, so they must be right about me’ and end up miserable and unhappy as a result.
The ‘gatekeepers’ of the trans community really, really need to take a step back and look at the damage they do when they tell minors their identity is just ‘a trend’. They do serious damage on a number of levels -
1. Individually - hurting the feelings and emotional state of a young person who is trying to explore their gender.
2. Socially - perpetuating the idea that only trans people who want surgery and HRT are ‘real trans’ and invalidating non-binary genders.
3. Scientifically - since their gatekeeping is what keeps ‘extreme dysphoria’ as a ‘requirement’ for treatments, so, say, someone only wanting top surgery, or only wanting HRT, would not be classed as trans unless they experience ‘extreme dysphoria’. Heaven forbid I’m okay with my vagina.
More to the point, the idea that exploring gender is ‘a trend’ is ridiculous. Lots of non-Western societies and cultures have acknowledged non-binary genders and gender variance (I can’t find any sources at the moment, but I’m very sure on this; if someone can find some interesting links for me, kudos!)
What IS happening is just that the world is growing smaller and smaller thanks to the internet; this ‘trend’ is born from nothing more than people having more resources, more internet safe spaces to discuss gender, and more ways to meet people also exploring their gender. Hell, even if it is a ‘trend’ and half of the kids who come out as trans later realise they’re cis, at least the other half will feel comfortable with themselves. And hey, the cis kids will have gained valuable insight into gender issues and, being the next generation, will be more accepting of trans people. I think it speaks volumes when truscum, especially adults, feel threatened by say, a 14 year old experimenting with their pronouns.
What upsets me the most is that the trans boy you mentioned is, as you say, 15, and seems to be basing his entire identity on the suffering he feels, and invalidating everyone who doesn’t feel that. When we let that happen, we let cis people define us entirely based on our suffering. Trans becomes a synonym for ‘sad’. And in doing this, we further push the social idea that genitals and gender are intrinsically linked; that trans people are ‘miserable because they have the wrong body’, which does more damage than good, for everyone involved. It makes cis people see being trans as an illness; our bodies are something that need to be ‘fixed’ and ‘cured’. We end up with tragic HBO movies and no actual acceptance.
It sounds like the boy who commented on facebook has a lot of things he needs to work out for himself still, and that’s a shame.
Also, on the note about clothing; it’s true, clothing has no gender, and he seems to get that, but you were right - that doesn’t mean gender is irrelevant when it comes to clothing. We’re not at a point where society doesn’t gender clothes; society massively genders clothing still, so for a young trans girl to go from ‘masculine’ clothing to extremely ‘feminine’ clothing isn’t something that she should be scorned for. She is just trying to make it easier to present herself as she wishes in public.
Maybe one day we’ll reach a point where clothing isn’t gendered and anyone can wear whatever they like without being misgendered, but that’s not going to be soon. I am fully aware that I’m going to be misgendered when I go out in a dress; it’s a risk I take because I feel confident enough. Not a lot of people do, and that’s fine.
Basically some trans people need to learn that we are not the sole position of authority on other trans people and what defines them. We are not in the other person’s head. We have no authority to decide if someone’s gender is valid. We have no right to dictate what people wear or what they do with their bodies.
Merci for the interesting ask, citizen!