because of her family because of his

anonymous asked:

Why do you think Sansa was so under prepared for life in the capital? For all her love of songs and courtesies, she has zero political education. Cat was her father's heir until her brother was born and ran Riverrun for years. Why was Sansa's education so lacking when compared to Robb or even Bran?

Actually I tend to think that there was a problem in the political education of all the Starklings, including Robb, and that this was informed by Ned’s desire to just be left with his family in the North. And while age is a perfectly good explanation for that in the case of the younger siblings, it’s utterly bizarre with Robb, being that he was only two years shy of his majority when the novels start, and that his status as heir and the future Warden of the North necessitates a deeper understanding of politics.

Sansa’s story serves to highlight the problem more than any of her siblings’ because her story is the most political, and because she is the one Starkling who was thrust into the heart of politics in royal court with absolutely no backup and no one to guide her. Robb had Catelyn, the Blackfish and his experienced bannermen around to advise him; Bran had ser Rodrik and Maester Luwin; even Jon had Jeor Mormont and Donal Noye and Maester Aemon; who did Sansa have? Septa Mordane had no experience and no understanding of politics and Ned was waist-deep in trying to pick up Robert’s slack and figure out the truth about Jon Arryn’s death, and it’s not like he was the best political player anyway as demonstrated by his failure to utilize the power of his office. Which left Sansa on her own to act within her limited experience, and was exacerbated by her idealistic views, and her beauty = integrity and worthiness perspective. 

But Sansa’s isn’t simply a problem of education - that I can at least explain by her age and the fact that her education was no where near done by the time she came to King’s Landing; no, the problem is that Sansa was left to her own devices in the capital with no effective mentor and no direction or even basic explanation of their situation. Her betrothal meant she would be in direct and constant contact with both Cersei and Joffrey, something she was utterly unprepared for and yet she was left to figure things on her own. The situation with Lady, Ned’s guilt over it and the resulting distance from Sansa, and Sansa’s own need to rationalize it that led to her suppressing her own memories only made her even more vulnerable.

Now I wouldn’t say that Sansa had zero political education; as a girl, Sansa’s political education was vastly different from anything her brothers’ received and centered on completely different things, so her political action took shape in a different way. Things like courtesies, proper conduct and attire, and a lady’s role in a household are part of a girl’s political education since they are often the only tools afforded to women in Westeros, and indeed we see Sansa utilize them effortlessly in the aftermath of Ned’s arrest as an intuitive employment of her education in carefully constructing her words and image. She was taught the importance of one’s image and cultivating it in a way that inspires loyalty, but she was not taught that a political image can be only that- an image. Which meant that she considered things like proper etiquette and beauty and highbirth to be signs of a good and worthy person, an idealistic (and elitist) view that was encouraged and rewarded by her Septa, and wasn’t challenged by Catelyn.

2

i can’t imagine how hard this situation is for konatsu. her relationship with kiku is one built entirely upon contradictions, and founded upon a lie that she does not yet know about. konatsu hates kiku for something that he did not do, and he lets her think he did it to protect her from the truth. so she hates him. but she loves him. and he loves her. but he certainly is not fair to her, and he forces her to suffer her whole life (not letting her do rakugo) because he wants someone else to be as miserable as he is.

she’s not his daughter. and now kiku is ailing, getting older. it happens. but it garners him sympathy, and it means konatsu has to take care of him. she’s the only family he has. she is forced into the role of caretaker for someone who has made her life unfulfilled and painful. but also for someone who lied about how her parents died because he would rather that she hate him than hate herself. someone who literally saved her life when she was a small child, and she doesn’t know.

contradictions and pain. he’s old, and he’s dying. so she gives him the cigarette. she hates him, but after thirty years she still hasn’t left his side. and for all that kiku has failed her, he still has done better by her than her parents ever did–miyokichi who abandoned konatsu, sukeroku who drank and did nothing while konatsu begged and did rakugo as a child to survive.

i love them. i love them so much. they’re bound by the tragedy of sukeroku’s death (and miyokichi’s) and it’s painful and they’re never truthful with each other and it’s twisted but there’s tenderness, too, and i really love how delicately their relationship is portrayed.

You Don’t Feel Me Here Anymore

First Part…

She took off her coat letting it slip to the ground before kicking off her shoes.
She had just come back from one of her visits to France and she was more then exhausted. Sometimes she wished she wasn’t Secretary of State because she had nearly no time left to see her family, especially Bill. She missed him.
Everything seemed cold and empty without him.
She sighed and collapsed onto the couch, closing her eyes. She wished Bill could be there to massage her shoulders but he was at a gala tonight and they probably wouldn’t see each other because she had to be at the State Department tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock.
Oh, how she hated that. She just wanted to be with her husband.

Bill opened the door angrily and saw his wife’s coat on the floor. She was at home, he hadn’t expected her to be.
But that was good, he could talk with her now.
He made his way to the living room. The lights were off but he could make out her sleeping form on the couch thanks to the faint moonlight that was shining through the windows.
He reached out to give her a light tap on the shoulder to wake her up.
She stirred at this opening her eyes a little bit to find him staring down at her.
“Let me sleep” she muttered and rolled around shutting her eyes again.
She was too tired to understand that her husband was there.
He shook his head and sat down onto the couch next to her gathering her small body in his lap. His hands caressed her hair and her face which calmed his anger a bit.
She sighed with pleasure in her sleep at the touch of his hands.

He hadn’t gone to the gala tonight after he had turned on the TV at work to watch the news. What he had seen had made him head home immediately to wait for his wife to arrive. He had been surprised that she was already there.

“Hilly” he called softly although he really didn’t want to interrupt her sleep yet it was important.
“Come on, honey, wake up. We need to talk.”
“What is it?” She stifled a yawn before shifting herself into a sitting position with his help.
“How was your visit to France?” He asked her and she raised an eyebrow.
“That was your reason to wake me up?” She complained. “Couldn’t that wait?”
“No, it couldn’t wait” he stated with a certain kind of coldness in his voice.
“I saw that video of you with one of those french ministers. The way you looked at him and hugged him.”
He looked at her disappointedly while she tried to figure out what his accusations meant.
“And?”
“And? Hillary Diane, don’t you think you can fool me!” He raised his voice and reached out to grab her arm roughly.
“I saw him, that bastard. He laid his arm on you, what was he thinking?”
His jealousy blinded him and he gripped her arm tighter than he had intended. He only realized what he was doing when she winced in pain.
“Ah, stop it Bill!! You’re hurting me.”
He immediately loosened his grip and a worried look appeared on his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetie” he told her honestly while he carefully caressed her arm.
“What is this, Bill? Why would you accuse me of having an affair? What makes you think I would ever cheat on you?” She questioned angrily and put his hand off her arm.
He faced her with guilt clearly visible in his eyes.
“I’m afraid that you would want to take revenge one day for everything I have done to you.”
“I’m not like you, Bill.”
“But-”
“Bill, I…I need some sleep” she cut him off.
“Let’s discuss this tomorrow.”

She stood up because she feared that she would overreact and started to leave the living room.
But Bill thought that it needed to be discussed now. He wouldn’t be at peace without talking to her about it. So he went after her.
“Hillary, wait!”
He stopped her by pulling her to him by her waist, his arms bringing her as close as possible.
She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes.
“What are you doing, William Jefferson?”
He lowered his head his lips brushing over her soft ones.
“Apologizing” he muttered before closing the small gap between them by crushing his lips against hers. He hoped that she would respond to the kiss but she tried to escape from his strong arms.
“It doesn’t work like this, Bill.” She pushed away from him although she hated to break contact with him.
His hands reached out again feeling the soft skin of her cheeks. He felt her shivering under his touch.
“Please, Bill, don’t do this to me. You know that I love you but trust is also needed for a relationship. It seems as if you don’t trust me at all. But actually it’s me who could question your love. Don’t you think I will ever forget what you did to me. You ripped me to pieces. What you did did not only break my trust but also my heart. A single kiss can’t make anything better!” She didn’t mean to be so harsh, his behaviour just caused her to let her emotions surface…

“Hillary, pleace just give us one more chance to talk!”
But she ignored him running up the stairs to go to their bedroom. She wanted to be alone now. It was too much for her and she couldn’t understand why Bill was acting like that.
Tears were making their way down her cheeks washing away her makeup. She didn’t see very well because of that and then she tumbled.
She felt herself falling backwards slipping off the stairs. Her hands were struggling to grasp something to hold on to but there was nothing.

Bill had been sitting on the kitchen floor dealing with his depressive thoughts when he suddenly hurt Hillary yelp. There was a loud bang causing him to get to his feet quickly to look after his wife.
“Hillary!” He shouted panic rushing through him when he saw her lying at the end of the stairs.
He kneeled down at her side shaking her frantically to regain her consciousness again.
That was when he noted the laceration on her forehead.
“Oh God, Hillary” he cried out and immediately ripped off a part of his shirt to stop the blood coming out of her injury.
‘This is my fault’ he thought over and over again. Realizing that he shouldn’t have done this. He should have never accused her of having an affair!

“Bill?” She whispered faintly and her eyes fluttered. There was a pounding pain in her head and she felt more than just dizzy.
She tried her best to focuse on her husband holding her in his arms.
“Hillary, love. I’m so sorry” he sobbed tears staining his face.
“I’m fine, Bill. Don’t worry” she wanted to calm him down although she knew that that wasn’t the truth. Everything was hurting.

Only a moment later a secret service agent made his way into the room to look after the couple after hearing the noise.
“Mr Clinton, Mrs Clinton! What has happened?” Shock was written all over his face when he bursted into the scene.
“She..she fell down the stairs. We need to get her to the hospital” Bill explained hysterically while lifting his wife off the ground.
“All right, let’s get her to the car then” the agent replied wanting to take the wife of the former president.
“No, no I can carry her” Bill denied the offer. He had no intentions on letting her go.

< < < < > > > >

“Hilly!” He burst into the room after the doctor had told him that they had finished the treatment of her injury.
He was surprised when he found her sitting on the edge of her bed watching the city through the window. Actually he had believed that her condition was far more worse, nevertheless, he was extremely worried about the love of his life.
She didn’t turn around although she had of course realized that he was there. So he walked around the bed and kneeled down in front of her looking up at her face.
He flinched when he saw her treated wound. Why had this happened to her?
He raised his hand and carefully traced along her forehead. He had caused her this pain. He hated himself so much for hurting his beloved wife. He had always wanted to protect her. Now he realized that it was him who was causing her the most pain, not only physically but also mentally.

She suddenly let her body fall to the ground, right into his arms. He enclosed her quickly and felt her tears soaking through his shirt.
She was shaking and he tried to rock her gently in his arms patting her back.
“I hate you” she cried against his chest.
“I hate that you keep hurting me all the time but I can’t force myself to leave you.”
He didn’t say anything. He wanted her to tell him everything she had on her mind. He knew that it was the only thing that would help her right now.
“I don’t wanna feel this anymore. I don’t want the pain. All I want is to be happy. I want to feel loved.”
Her small hands wandered up his chest to wrap around his neck. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. She was aware that it was far from logical but his presence was so comforting.

He tried to understand her because he wanted to find a solution for their problems. He wanted to save their marriage. But was that still possible?
“Do you want a divorce?” His voice was hoarse yet it needed to be asked.
Hillary thought about it. Saying 'yes’ would be wise, it would keep her from further pain. Her heart would have time to heal.

She parted herself a little from him before looking at him through her with tears glistening eyes.
“Yes, I…I want a divorce” she whispered.
He nodded slowly realizing that this was the end. He was losing her but he couldn’t convince her to stay with him. She deserved to be happy and he knew that he would manage to hurt her again.

“All right, then it’s a divorce.” He pulled her to him one last time placing a kiss on top of her head. Tears were leaving his eyes now as well.
He couldn’t believe that this was happening. Why hadn’t he tried harder? Why hadn’t he treated her better?
He buried his face into her hair taking in the coconut scent of her long hair. It felt so comforting.
“You know that I love you more than I will ever love someone” he told her.
“I love you too” she whimpered. She knew that leaving him after all these years would be painful but the longer she stayed with him the more she realized that they were slowly destroying each other.

They fell asleep like that on the floor. Chelsea found them the next morning because she had wanted to know how her mother was feeling.
“Mum? Dad?” She woke them.
Hillary lifted her head from Bill’s chest and looked up at their daughter.
Chelsea shook her head at the apperances of her parents knowing they’d had another fight.
“What has happened?” She asked concerned waiting for their parents to get off the floor.

Bill and Hillary faced each other. They knew that their daughter should be the first to know about their divorce.
“There’s something we have to tell you, sweetheart” Hillary started before looking helplessly at her husband.
Chelsea wasn’t a little girl anymore but they could imagine that it wouldn’t be easy for her.
“Your mother and I have talked about this and we think that it would be best for the both of us to fill in for a divorce.”
Chelsea shook her head in disbelief.
“Are you serious right now? Did you really think that through?”
Both of them nodded carefully. However Chelsea didn’t believe them for one second. They loved each other, she could see it, the way her father was holding her mother. She had never let anyone touch her like this.

“You can’t do this” Chelsea told them before hurrying out of the room holding her tears back. This wasn’t right. The relationship between her parents was something completely different. They hurt each other constantly yet beeing apart from each other would be absolutely worse for them.

< < < < > > > >

He looked at her standing there at the kitchen counter. She seemed to be as lost as he was.
“Hill, I have to go now” he stated with sadness in his voice.
She swallowed before turning around.
“Hold me” she whispered softly and he was immediately there by her side.
“I will miss you, love.”
He then stepped back and the cold air hit Hillary.
“Have you packed all of your things?” She asked a numb feeling taking over her.
“Yes, I have.”

He hadn’t found a new apartment yet because he hadn’t even bothered to search so he would be living at Chelsea’s for a while.
The divorce would take a while but they had decided to quit living together as it would only complicate things further.
“Will you be okay?” He glanced into her blue eyes, blue like the sky. He had always got lost in them.
She nodded. She wasn’t able to speak because she would start sobbing if she did so.
“I guess it’s time to say goodbye” he stated and held his hand towards her.
However she surprised him by leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss. It was so short that he didn’t have time to respond.
But before he could’ve said anything else she had left the room not being able to see him any longer since it was only increasing her pain.



Second Part…

“No, no, I’m fine. I can do that” Hillary told the agent in an annoyed voice. The agent stepped back before leaving the room.
Hillary kneeled down and started cleaning up the pieces of the shattered glass. It reminded her of her broken marriage with Bill and before she realized it tears began to roll down her cheeks. Why was she crying again?? Couldn’t she just pull herself together?
Everything was supposed to be better now.

Many of her friends had told her that they were glad that she finally divorced Bill. They knew how the marriage had hurt her.
They had seen her heartbroken so many times and didn’t want her to go through more pain.
But Hillary had to admit that nothing was better at all. She hadn’t found the happiness everyone had promised her yet.

She had spent her days waking up in the middle of their huge bed, not knowing how she had finally beeen able to drift of to sleep. It felt cold without him by her side.
Then she would move to the living room, collapsing onto the sofa without eating anything for breakfast.
She couldn’t eat. Her throat felt tight and everytime she would try to eat something she ended up sitting on the cold floor of the bathroom in front of the toilet, throwing up. That was her way of dealing with her emotions and she hated that.

She was certified sick at work because of her head injury although it wasn’t that painful despite a faint headache. Yet her doctor had told her that she shouldn’t put herself under stress by working or traveling. She didn’t appreciate that.
Work would take her mind off Bill.
She had always thrown herself into work when she didn’t want to face her emotions.

She put her emotions aside. That helped. But when she couldn’t take it anymore they would all come back at her, hitting her with full force, knocking her down.

If anyone was in a similar situation she would give them the advice to get off the floor, to start fighting again. But why couldn’t she do just that? Why couldn’t she forget Bill Clinton, what she felt for him, what he had done to her? Why couldn’t she see that she didn’t depend on him?

The battle inside her mind was making her sick. She needed to get out of here. She felt as if she wasn’t able to breathe, no matter how hard she tried.
So she grabbed her coat and left the house, wanting to go for a walk that would hopefully help her clear her thoughts.

Just when she was walking for about fifteen minutes a tall man with short blond hair waved at her from across the street.
She waved back and forced herself to smile.
He then crossed the street, wanting to talk to her.

< < < < > > > >

He watched her from the distance. He saw her mouth twist into a smile before she broke into one of her hearty laughs. Her eyes were twinkling. She seemed to be happy. Relieved. Ready to move on - Everything he was not.

He had agreed to the divorce because he believed that it would help her. He would do anything to help her. He had destroyed her. He. It was his fault. It would always be his fault. But she would never see that. She had always thought that it was her. That he cheated because she wasn’t good enough. He knew that she was good enough. She was more than that. She was the most amazing person on earth and she had loved him. He had thrown the gift of her love away. He had wanted more. He had wanted it all. He had been blind because he already had it all. This woman had given him everything. Her soul. Her love. Her compassion.
What had he given her? Not love. Pain. Self-doubts. Depressions.
Everyone said that he was a gentleman. They described him as charming. But he wasn’t like that. Only on the outside. He was ugly on the inside. A monster. He wanted nobody to see it. Why couldn’t he control himself? Was it necessary to hurt her every time just because he didn’t feel he was good enough for himself and her?

Bill knew that he should leave now. She clearly wasn’t feeling the same way. No, not anymore. However he couldn’t move. He was standing there watching them. That guy was now placing his arm on Hillary’s shoulder, pulling her only slightly closer to him. His breath hitched and the frustration and sadness was quickly replaced by pure jealousy. He couldn’t help it.

He then realized how Hillary tried to politely move away from the guy but he would keep holding onto her as if they were close friends. However Bill was sure that neither him nor Hillary had seen him before.
It was obvious for him that he needed to do something. He walked over to them with long strides until he stood next to her.
“Hello, Hill!” He pulled her close to him and away from the guy.
Hillary looked at him a little shellshocked. Never had she expected to see him now. But she let him touch her, not stepping away from him. Although she didn’t know what he was doing here she was thankful that she had saved her from Chris.
He was new in Chappaqua and wanted to talk with her a little. He seemed to be really nice but she also found him a little, well, intrusive.
“Ah, Mister President.” Chris nodded at him, his mood dropping because he knew that Bill was telling him indirectly to leave.
“This is Chris, he moved here last week” Hillary introduced him, trying to break the awkward silence between them.
“Nice to meet you.” Bill extended his hand. Chris nodded.

“Well, Hillary, I think we need to go now” Bill spoke for the two of them, wanting to get away from Chris.
“All right. I’ll hopefully see you sometime again.”
“Yes, goodbye, Chris” Hillary said while Bill already pulled her with him.

They walked together to her house, his arm still wrapped around her shoulder. But as soon as she had closed the door behind them the atmosphere changed drastically.
“Hill, I-” he began.
“No! Don’t say anything. What was that? What are you doing here?” She cut him off, pacing through the hallway.
“I wanted to see you.” He walked over to her, grabbing her wrists to stop her. Her nervousness was stressing him out.
Their eyes locked when she turned to him and for a moment everything around them seemed to be forgotten.

Hillary drew away from him quickly when she realized what was happening. She wouldn’t let him back in. She wasn’t that weak and she knew that this was wrong.

“Bill. Don’t think that this…” she didn’t know how to phrase it.
“Please, just let me talk with you.”
“What is there to talk? Oh, I know! Why did you do that? Why did you interrupt my conversation with Chris?”
“Because, because you…God, I don’t know why I did it!”
She stood in front of him, her eyes accusing him.
“Of course you know! That was yet another one of your possessive moments. Even now, when we are going to be divorced. Why can’t you just leave me alone?” As soon as she had said those words she regretted it. It wasn’t the truth. She didn’t want Bill to leave her. Her heart was screaming for him. She was torn apart.
“Fine. I’ll not bother you again.”
He looked at her one last time, taking in her beautiful hair that was flowing over her shoulders, her shining blue eyes, her red lips. He wanted to remember it.
“Bye, Hillary.” He walked out of the door, leaving his wife behind.

Her words had hurt her. They were like knifes, cutting into his skin.
'Why can’t you just leave?’ It echoed in his head.
Yes, he had behaved like an idiot again, letting his jealousy surface again. But that was just because he loved her so much. He wanted her to be happy but it hurt so much to imagine her in the arms of another man. Somebody who was better than him. Somebody who loved her more than he ever could. Somebody who would never hurt her.

Hillary suddenly moved away from the spot she had been standing on since he left, trying to deal with her thoughts. Why had she said that to Bill?
She ran out of the house, screaming his name frantically. Again and again. But it was too late. He was already gone.

Her secret service agents looked at her worriedly when she sank to her knees. But she didn’t care.
Her eyes were widened in shock. This was too much. She tried to sort her emotions. What was she feeling? She didn’t know. Shock. Panic. Fear. She feared that she was losing him, finally. Not because of the divorce but because of what was happening between them.
He had come back to her. And she had let him down.

< < < < > > > >

He heard the doorbell ringing. He sighed before lifting himself off the sofa, walking to the door.
“What do you want?” He growled before he realized that it was her.
“I’m sorry, but…but you didn’t answer my calls” she stammered, looking down at her feet.
“Yes. I didn’t want to talk to you. You told me to leave you alone.” His voice was cold like ice.
“Can I come in?” She asked shyly. She tried to ignore the tone of his voice. He was angry with her and she understood that.
Bill thought about it for a second but then decided to let her in.
“But I don’t have much time” he lied.
She nodded before stepping into the house of their daughter.
“Where’s Chels?” She asked while they made their way towards the living room.
“Family trip” he replied shortly.

“Now, what do you want to talk about?”
She looked away from him.
“I don’t know” she whispered. She had missed him. That was why she was here.
Bill cleared his throat.
“Why do you keep doing this to me, Hillary? You told me multiple times that we were through. It was you who wanted the divorce” he stated.
He tried to distance himself from the woman sitting next to him. But he knew that this wasn’t possible.

When she broke down into tears in front of him he couldn’t take it no more. It had been him again causing her to cry.
“Hilly, it’s all right.” His arms clung to her and he kissed away every single one of her tears until her mouth catched his.

They engaged in a heated, passionate kiss. His hands were running down her sides, gripping her curvy hips while her hands were tucking at his shirt. She had opened it quickly and her fingertips brushed over the bare flesh.
They continued to kiss, none of them minding the lack of oxygen.
He pulled her closer onto his lap so that she was straddling him. He reached up, his fingers trembling with the buttons of her blouse.
She felt like she was on fire, burning with desire and despair.

He let his fingers run through her long, silky hair. Soft moans were escaping her but they were muffled by his mouth pressed against hers.
A shiver was running over her, only caused by his mere presence. Nobody had ever touched like that. Nobody had ever known just exactly what she wanted, what she needed.
He was like a drug for her. She was addicted to him. To his scent. To his voice. To his fingers running over her body.
“Gosh, you are so beautiful, Hillary” he uttered between kisses while his hands went down to cup her breasts through the thin fabric of her bra that fitted perfectly into his large hands.
She wanted to believe his words. She wanted to believe that he liked her appearance.
She found that her thighs were too big. She wanted to take down weight but for him everything about her was just perfect and he was utterly grateful that he had her for this very moment.

“Don’t stop, Bill, please” she breathed against his wet lips, digging his nails into his back, not caring whether she was leaving marks.
He groaned at the sensation her body was causing him and he gathered her even closer to his chest.

It had often been like that between the two of them. Wild. Uncontrollably. Hurried.
But they loved it. It was exactly what they craved for in those moments. They needed to release the tension.

“Jesus, what are you doing?”
Hillary and Bill jumped apart at the sound of Chelsea’s voice.
Hillary fumbled with the buttons of her blous and fought with herself not to blush.
“Chelsea. I’m sorry. Why are you here?” Bill asked, feeling slightly embarassed that her daughter had to witness that.
“We had just forgotten Charlotte’s favourite toy. But what the hell were the two of you doing?” She looked confused at her parents.
Their parents had filled in for a divorce…why were they here, acting like they were head over heels in love with each other.

“Uhm, you’re mother and I wanted to, uhm, discuss something.” Bill felt like an idiot for saying that but nothing better came to his mind and Hillary was totally quiet.
Chelsea nodded reluctantly.
“Well, whatever this is…just please, try to resolve it” she said before telling them that she would leave them alone now.
She didn’t want to try to deal with her parents more than complicated relationship anymore. They were grown-ups and should figure it out on their own. Yet part of her hoped that they wouldn’t divorce.
She remembered many happy moments when they had been together. As a family.

“I-I think I should go now” Hillary told him carefully.
“This isn’t healthy. We both know it.” She was doing it again. She betrayed her feelings again.
Why had she done this? Why hadn’t she controlled herself? The answer was easy. Bill was her greatest weakness.
“No, Hillary, please stay” he pleaded while walking closer to her. His hands caressing her shoulders.
“Bill, this isn’t possible. Please, take your hands off me” she muttered.
“I’m sorry.” He let go of her, begging that he wouldn’t start crying in front of her now.
He couldn’t do that.

And before he realized it Hillary had left the house.

She fell into her bed. Her sobs broke free. Why? Why was she an emotional wreck? Why didn’t she accept help from somebody?

Soo this is something that started of as a oneshot but I decided to continue it. 

Hope you like it! 

(The title is from the song ‘Broken’ by Amy Lee)

Archiveofourown: 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9801758/chapters/22010237

TWD rewatch:  The people who infer a ‘sibling’ type relationship between Daryl and Carol, do you folks have siblings?  Because if you don’t, you should know that it’s not normal for brothers and sisters to have full contact, genital touching hugs, heads cuddled to breasts, or for either sibling to be giving the other massages, or making jokes about having oral sex … with the other person who shares his/her DNA. If you DO have siblings, and these things ARE normal in your household, you really need to book your family some time on Dr. Phil.  And not like a segment, but like a whole hour, because you guys need some serious help. We’re all pulling for you!

I WATCHED IT!!

HelloFolks!

OKAY! SO i watched the newest episode of TWD! 7x10!! AND MY CARYL FEELINGS WENT SO HIGH!! OOMFG!

Originally posted by wattpad

As Daryl asked: Why’d you go? HIS VOICE BROKE!! Carol cried! Daryl nearly cried! And i am a little bit mad! Because, i would have told Carol about Glenn and Abe! This was her family as well! And..(i am still not over Glenn, i still wait till i see his face again, like a ghost or a flashback of the others) 

Originally posted by depressionfruit

Richard wouldn’t dare to touch carol! Shiva is indeed the new best friend of Daryl! Because Carol is more than a best friend! HA! And Rick? Rick just fought an “Mad Max” Zombie! 

Originally posted by madmaxmovie

I am so ready for the rest of this season! I want to se Carol in armour and be the warrior queen she is! 

Originally posted by boudoirduchaman

Slay me!

anonymous asked:

Those statuses he made about Lainey's sister is so out of bounds. He has no consideration of how that would hurt her boyfriend. Also, it's not because gives two shits about the dick size thing it's because he purposely tries to ruin any relationship his significant others have with anyone else. If I was Lainey that would have been my last straw. I could never stay with someone after they've attacked my family, I can't believe she was ok with that

cool concept: demons and monsters being defeated by disabilities

-a demon waits to scare a woman as she opens her eyes she doesn’t notice because she’s blind

-the boogeyman grabs the child’s ankle as they climb put of bed, it’s prosthetic the child doesn’t notice

-sirens fail to lure the deaf sailor for obvious reasons

-the schizophrenic doesn’t pay any attention to the demons telling them to do things because it’s the same shit as always

-the demon screams in frustration as the guy with ADHD he’s possessed keeps forgetting that he came into the kitchen to kill his family not wash the dishes

-the devil tries to create an unholy union to give birth to the anti-christ he is thwarted by the man’s severe anxiety disorder

-demons try to torture a person with chronic pain who just thinks they’re having a bad pain day

I went to see Rogue One again (because I have no self control) and I live in Texas where about sixty percent of the population is Hispanic, so a father brought his entire family of four boys and two girls, all ranging between twelve and five to see the movie. The boys were all freaking out because of course its Star Wars, and they loved Cassian, talking about how cool he was and they loved Jyn (especially during her badass scene versus some Stormtroopers) but the greatest part was at the very end when they revealed Princess Leia. I wasn’t expecting it but all of the boys all at once jumped up and went “OMG! THERE SHE IS! IT”S PRINCESS LEIA!!! SHE”S HERE TO SAVE US!!!!”

These boys had been so excited to see Darth Vader, Cassian, and other characters but they lost their minds because Princess Leia was here to save the universe. That is what Carrie Fisher’s legacy is.

carl gallagher is the definition of unexpected. the little boy who melted dolls together, tortured animals, put a goldfish in the microwave all while his siblings just watched in some kind of amused horror. the little boy who bullied the other kids because he wanted to make people cry, who fantasized about pushing people on train tracks, who never had a problem with death or murder. the teenage boy that ate out almost every girl in his grade just for the hell of it. that boy is the same boy who put his shirt back on and had zero complaints about it because his girlfriend didn’t like sex, the same boy who took her entire family in even when his siblings resisted (”they live in a van.” “why is that my problem?”  “it’s winter”). it’s the same boy who was so devoted to his best friend that he gave him a place to live, never complained about or mocked the things that made him feel safe and did them with no judgement (watching his back in the shower at home, letting him sleep on the floor). the same boy who saw a (not his first, but his first fresh) dead body and knew he couldn’t keep going down the same path he was going anymore because he didn’t wanna see that. the same boy who only questioned ian’s sexuality because he wanted to know more about it and no one would give him any answers, the same boy who accepted caleb’s sexuality even when ian and even caleb barely did, the same boy who comforted mickey when ian was being diagnosed. the same boy who said he wasn’t good enough for his girlfriend but he would do whatever she asked as long as she liked him (he literally cut the tip of his dick off for that girl). he never said any rude things to her, after the whole sorority ordeal he didn’t even speak to her. he just hung out with her dad, the only positive father figure in his life, and bettered himself. he even almost gave up his newfound dream to be with her after she cheated on him, but he went anyways after she just broke his heart again. he went to military school, he’s trying to be a better person. this is the same boy who tried so hard to help his father so many times, and in the end his father tried to force him to stay in the business he was in despite the fact that he was terrified and miserable. carl is so devoted and loyal to everyone, not just the gallaghers, and even the people who hurt him, and he’s the most well-rounded character on the show.

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Logan Huntzberger stood up to his family in Season 5 because he wanted to be with Rory and they'd only been dating for a week. He stormed out of the house because they said Rory couldn't marry into their family. He then proceeded to date Rory for three years. They lived together and he proposed to her. Later, he also decided to walk away from the family business and get a career of his own. Logan was willing and able to do all of that 10 years ago. Why would he care what his family thinks about who is marrying now? He's 34 years old. And when we left him in Season 7, he had cut off all ties with his family. It doesn't follow that the man who loved Rory enough to give her anything she wanted wouldn't leave Odette to be with her because of the Huntzberger dynasty. How does that make sense? And why wouldn't Rory, who never had a problem asking Logan for what she wanted, say something? She asked him out. She told him she couldn't do casual dating anymore. She's always pushed to make their relationship what she wanted it to be, and she's somehow lost that ability at age 32? Why have both of these characters regressed so dramatically from where they were more than 10 years ago? And if it was going to be written that way, why do we have no insight into their thoughts and motivations? Why don't we know why Logan won't stand up to his family? Why don't we know why he's working for his father again? Why don't we know why Rory won't ask him to leave Odette? Did ASP forget how to write these characters? Could she really not suck it up and watch Season 7 so the characterization was consistent?
what i want in season 3 (or literally just any season)

- lance arc this time plz. i think the 3 minute scene where he thought he wasn’t an important part of voltron could be leading up to bigger problems like that.

- lance being homesick and just starting to isolate himself from the group, maybe even considering leaving voltron because he’s so insecure?????

- it would be so niiiiice if they would give him clearer qualities, because honestly??? im not even sure what his fighting qualities are other than being the “shapshooter” a few times.

- GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN INFO ABOUT HUNKS FAMILY AND PAST. IM PRETTY SURE WE KNOW NOTHING???

- more galra keith backstory damn. i can imagine they chose keiths galra story for s2 because they’re going to use it as a plot device or something in the next seasons.

- ok i obviously want pidge to find her family, but i wouldn’t complain if she only found matt, just because i love angst hehehhe.

- so what happened to the whole “you’ll get some info about matts glasses”??? i need to know something about her wearing his glasses or just her saying something like “it’s the only thing i have left from him”

- give me the haggar story. who is she and why is she with zarkon??

- they need to find shiro obviously.

- a whole garrison episode would be great????? yknow i wanna see hunk, lance and pidge together as buuuuds again at the garrison. i wanna see when the rivarly started between lance and keith. and what about shiro and keith when did they meet????

- LOTORLOTORLOTOR!!!!!!!!

- shiro + holt family interactions.

- i wouldn’t complain to get some klance either ;);););)

probably more idk

Some Scorpius Malfoy Headcanons

* He has cute little dimples that shows when he is talking and smiling.

* When Albus first invited him to his house during Christmas Vacation (or Summer vacations, whatever) he was SCARED to dead because he didn’t wanted to make a bad first impression but after seeing the happiness in Molly Weasley eyes when he first met her, he was not longer scared because the woman was so kind to him.

* He laughed very hard when Victoire Weasley started making puns in French, they got along very quickly

* Scorpius having the biggest crush on the veela boy of the family (Louis) but for some reason, Dominique and Victoire didn’t have a veela effect on him

* Scorpius being a little Arthur Weasley because Astoria taught him since he has use of reason about Muggle objects just to piss of Lucius (For this reason, Scorpius takes Muggle studies)

* He is always cuddly and sweet with Albus, everybody thinks they are dating when they are not (until year four, when they actually start dating but being to awkward to speak about it to their families)

* He is a total bookworm

* McGonagall always sees a little bit of Remus in him: always polite, sweet and being beside Albus almost all the time like Remus was with Sirius (Albus starts to look like Sirius during the third year)

* Scorpius preferring salty over sweet except when it comes to cinnamon and chocolate

* He looks a lot like Draco but he has his mother smile

* He usually is happy and it’s to difficult to push him to the edge of his kindness, but only three people have done this and boy, it’s pretty dangerous (the three people are: Rose when she spoiled every book Scorpius was reading, his father and James after a prank war when he almost hurt his friends)

The Ideal progression of Allura and Lance’s friendship I hope to see in the show:

At first Allura is kind of >:/ about Lance because he hit on her in the 0.2seconds it took for her to fall into his arms, and that’s kind of weird. But then she realizes he’s the Blue Paladin and okay… If Blue chose him, Lance can’t be that shallow or one-dimensional. So Allura decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. But she’s still kind of 👀  at him because Paladins shouldn’t value flirting over the fate of the universe, and that seems to be Lance’s priority.

But then Lance sacrifices himself for Coran, the last piece of Allura’s family. And, well. While Lance heals, Allure reevaluates her friend. Because that’s what they are now, whether Lance knows it or not. So she takes a new interest in him. But she’s Allura, and Altea was Really Weird, so she decides to become his friend through rigorous training sessions lmfao.

At first Lance is very ;) ;) about all the time they spend alone together, but that wears off around the fourth time his face meets the mat. And then Lance starts getting competitive, which drives Allura to go even HARDER, and by the end of the day they’re both bruised like a peach and stinky and gross but also… Slowly becoming used to each other. So they continue training together, which extends into accompanying one another to the kitchen to get water, which leads to normal chatting which leads to… Huh. They’re actually friends now.

And with friendship comes so much ribbing; Allura mimes to the others the face Lance made when she grew five inches taller to escape out of his hold, Lance complains about getting Allura’s hair in his mouth like, a dozen times, it was really gross! They laugh at each other, then at themselves, and then they laugh together. It’s nice.

I just… Really want to see Allura and Lance become more comfortable around each other. Because right now, Allura can’t really hang out around Lance without waiting for the flirting shoe to drop, which sounds really exhausting and not fun. And Lance, who we know is super homesick and a brother, really needs someone he can tease and bond with, not someone to chase after.

#LetLanceAndAlluraBond2k17

Fantastic Beasts theory

So, Queenie’s surname is Goldstein, right? And theres a Ravenclaw in Harry’s year at Hogwarts called Anthony Goldstein. Chances are he’s related to Queenie and Tina because of his surname (it could just be a coincidence, but I’m not convinced). Although, there’s no indication in the movie that they have a brother, and so Anthony’s surname shouldn’t be the same if they’re directly related. My theory is that Queenie marries, but keeps her surname because ….
Perhaps her husband is not accepted by the wizarding society in America.
Perhaps they have to move away from America to a more tolerant place in order to start a family, to somewhere that doesn’t discriminate so much about who Witches and Wizards can and can’t marry.
Perhaps Anthony Goldstein, who is a half-blood, by the way, is directly related to Queenie Goldstein and Jacob Kowalski.

I want Sally Jackson and Frederick Chase to become friends, them bonding over having powerful demigods as their kids and finally talking to someone who gets it, gets what is to wake up one day, so young, and have your world changed by gods. I want Frederick and Paul talking about teaching and helping Sally with the research for her book; Paul, Sally and Frederick having dinner nights and talking about their kids (because Paul considers Percy his) and drinking wine. 

And then we have Annabeth, who is absolutely over the moon that her dad is flying to NYC to spend time with her, no stepfamily (because they never managed to get close) and she loves seeing her dad interact with Sally and Paul, because they are also her family. She went from being a little girl feeling like she had no one to Sally, Percy and Frederick in the kitchen cooking while she and Paul talks about history and architecture while playing with Baby Blofis. Sally, Paul, Percy, Frederick and Baby Blofis are her family and it’s just makes her so happy to see them together and happy.

as some of you may know, my sister is pregnant, but she didn’t let the doctor tell her the sex and everyone thinks it’s a boy (except for me, ofc, I’m 99,9% sure it’s a girl) 

so in february when it’s born, I’ll let you know that I was right and everyone can go fuck themselves for ever doubting me

things that always get me:

  • the pram pushed against the wall that was probably never used because they weren’t allowed to go out
  • ‘james potter fell like a marionette whose strings were cut…’
  • lily screaming, not only because she knew voldemort was after her and harry, but also because she heard james fall and she knew that meant he was dead
  • ‘she dropped like her husband’
  • baby harry thinking it was just his parents playing a game
  • ‘his father… making more pretty lights’
  • ‘his mother would pop up any moment, laughing—’
  • THIS WHOLE SCENE
Ok but imagine if
  • Maui actually ends up living with Moana on her island and becoming like part of the family. Like her parents treat him like the son they never had. 
  • Everyone’s like wow a demigod! We should listen to him and make him chief but Maui absolutely refuses and makes them listen to Moana because she’s still the chief and has the most respect for her. 
  • A boy on the island falls for Moana and is courting her and Maui threatens to kill him if he even thinks about hurting Moana because no one hurts his friend. 
  • Maui and Moana officially start calling each other brother and sister because their friendship is so strong. 
  • They still go on adventures together and have discovered like a bajillion islands together.
  • When Moana gets married Maui does the ceremony because “with the godly power invested in him blah blah blah” 
  • Maui is the god parent of Moana’s kids and she wouldn’t trust anyone to take better care of them than Uncle Maui. 
  • Her kids call him Uncle Maui. 
  • Maui loves to dance around for all the children of the village and tell them about his adventures and shape shift for them because the giggles and awe makes him happy. 
  • Maui loves being on the island because for the first time he’s felt wanted not just by humans but by his friends and family that he cares about.  
Something that still bothers me about YOI

- We still know next to nothing about Victor’s background

- We’ve met Yuuri’s parents and we’ve met Yuri’s grandfather but we don’t know a thing about Victor’s family.

- Victor is a main character, the love interest to another main character, so why don’t we know a single thing about his past?

- I have a sneaking suspicion that Victor either doesn’t have a family or he isn’t in contact with his family anymore due to his career (and the stigma that male figure skating has tied to it) or because of his sexuality. 

- So with that in mind please don’t imagine Victor never having a supportive family

- Don’t imagine Victor not even bothering to invite his family to the wedding because he thinks they won’t show up anyway. 

- Don’t think about Yuuri’s mom finding out and all but adopting Victor as her son. 

- Don’t think about Victor calling Yuur’s mom Mrs. Katsuki and her replying “It’s mom, dear.”

- Don’t think about Yuuri’s mom bragging to all of Hasetsu about how amazing both of her boys are, on and off the ice. 

- Don’t imagine how excited Yuuri’s mom will be on their wedding day because she loves both of these boys and wants them both to be happy.

- Don’t imagine Victor and Yuuri wanting to become fathers.

- Don’t imagine them deciding to use a surrogate and announcing to Momma Katsuki that they’re going to have a baby.

- Don’t imagine Yuuri’s mom breaking down in tears of joy and wrapping both of her arms around her boys in an uncomfortably tight hug because she’s so happy she’s going to be a grandmother.

- Don’t imagine it turning out to be twins and Momma Katsuki breaks down all over again.

- Don’t imagine Momma Katsuki buying a ton of things for the babies even before Victor and Yuuri find out the genders.

- Don’t imagine her giving Victor and Yuuri a long impassioned speech about parenthood and life decisions.

- Don’t imagine her teaching them how to change diapers, swaddle, and how to properly hold babies on practice baby dolls.

- Don’t imagine her waking the boys up in the middle of the night to teach them these things so that they’re prepared to do when the babies come for real

- Don’t think about Minako, Mari, and Phichit throwing a baby shower. 

- Don’t think about Momma Katsuki offering them to hold it in the inn. 

- Don’t think about Momma Katsuki gathering the family to clean and childproof the entire inn before the babies come. 

- Don’t think about Yuuri being nervous but really excited about becoming a father. 

- Don’t imagine Victor telling everyone he’s an expectant mother to anyone who will listen

- Don’t think about Yuuri and Victor holding their children for the first time and giving each other this loving look that says “holy fuck we’re fathers!” but also “holy fuck we’re fathers.”

- Don’t imagine Victor and Yuuri struggling for the first week or two with their newborns but with the gentle guiding hand of Momma Katsuki they find their rhythm as new parents. 

- Definitely don’t imagine Victor and Yuuri being exhausted new parents but they wouldn’t trade it for the world because they love their little family more than anything. 

God damn this fucking show. Thank you to @memento-amare for giving me a bunch of these headcanons and making me feel better about Victor’s apparent lack of family in YOI.