because of all the sobbing and tears reasons

I love the fact that Merlin was allowed to cry. He didn’t just get the typical single little man tear rolling slowly off a melancholy face. This character was SO good because he cried and wept and sobbed. He was ugly when he cried. His face was all scrunched up in sorrow when he cried. This character was REAL when he cried. We need more boys that cry. 

“Maybe we’ve fallen out of love. We’ve fallen out of sync, that’s for sure.” Once again she was met with silence.

She finally brought herself to look into those eyes she used to find solace in, but they were cold and distant, and she found herself wanting to look away.

“Look at us now. Look at us.” She shook her head, eyes brimming with tears. “God, I don’t know. I don’t even know if you love me. I don’t even know…” She swallowed and tried to blinked the tears away. “I don’t even know if I love you.”

She pressed a hand to her mouth as she felt a sob pulling forth. It left without a sound, her entire body shuddering. Yet, she wasn’t crying for the reason you’d think. She wasn’t crying because of how much this loss hurt. No, she was crying because of how much it didn’t hurt. And that fact horrified her.

—  I thought being with you would make me happy, but all it did was tear me apart.

Requested: can you do one where shawn has a mental breakdown and you have to calm him down

Originally posted by everythingshawnmendes

Your name: submit What is this?


“Y/n,” You hear Andrew’s voice shouting from the front of the bus. You don’t know why he’s yelling, but he sounds frantic.

You tell your sister, “I have to go. I’ll call you back later.” And you hang up the phone before even giving her a chance to say goodbye as you slide out of your bunk. You’re currently on tour with Shawn because he had asked you to come along, but you miss your family just like he misses his when he’s gone. Whenever Shawn’s busy working, you often take that time to call or FaceTime your family or friends back home. Shawn is currently doing his meet and greet, so you had decided to stay on the bus to talk to your sister over the phone.

As soon as your toes touch the ground, Andrew appears at the end of the hall. “Y/n, there you are!” He practically screams, which slightly startles you because you’re not very far from him, so you don’t really understand why he’s shouting so loudly. “Come with me,” He says, turning around and practically running out of the bus. You’re confused, but decide to not ask any questions as you rush after him.

“Shawn’s freaking out. I think everything’s just been too much lately.” Andrew tells you, while practically jogging into the venue.

Keep reading

Battered and Bruised Ch. 2 (Bucky x reader)

So, here’s chapter two of my latest Bucky imagine. I’m going to work on putting a shortcut to chapter one, but for the meantime just search Battered and Bruised on my profile. I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy! :)

Description: Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.

Warnings: Angst, violence

shortcut to chapter 1

After the sad confrontation between you and Bucky in the bathroom, you both laid in bed for the rest of the day.

“Baby?” You tilted your head up to look at him as you were laying on his chest. Your legs were tangled, his flesh arm was around your waist while his metal one was gently brushing through your hair.

“Hmm?” He responded softly, his body warm against yours, his heartbeat finally steady after sobbing for so long. He looked down at you, trying to give you a small smile.

“You know I love you, right? We’re going to get past this, it’s going to get better. And hell, I could care less if I get a million more bruises. I don’t care, because as long as I’m with you, I couldn’t be happier. Never forgot that, okay?” You brought a small smile to your lips, kissing his collarbone.

His trying smile faded. “And I love you just the same. All the more reason why it hurts me so much that I did this to you.” Tears began to well up in his eyes again. “I’m dangerous, F/N. If I hurt you again, who knows how much damage I could do.”

“I know it’s the nightmares, and I know how vivid they can be. You know I don’t blame you. It’s going to get better, you and me are going to get through this.” You snuggled up to him as close as possible.

He wanted to believe you, but there was so much fear bottled up inside of him. All he could think about were the worst case scenarios. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he seriously injured you. Bucky didn’t say anything after that, all he wanted to do was hold you as close as possible.

Neither of you got up from that bed for the rest of the day, hunger didn’t seem to reach either of you so you went on comforting Bucky, being the one person he knew would always be there.

You talked about everything. It was mostly about your relationship, how far you’ve come over the last 9 months, and all the great memories you had with him. After the many hours of laying together, talking, laughing, he finally lightened up.

“We haven’t moved from this bed since 10am.. and it’s 11:30pm.” You were giggling into his chest.

He joined in your laughter and rolled over so he was on top of you. He placed sweet kisses all over your exposed skin, earning the sound of you laughing, telling him to get off. He loved your laugh so much, it always made him crack a smile. The way your lips curled up and how your eyes sparkled sent him over the moon with adoration.

When he finally got off of you, you snuggled back into him. His steady heartbeat pulled you to sleep, leaving Bucky awake by himself.

“Goodnight my love.” He whispered into your hair before placing a gentle kiss on it.

He didn’t sleep that night, or the night after, or the night after. He was so afraid of hurting you, so afraid of what he was capable of. All he did was watch you sleep. He thought you looked so peaceful, so beautiful when you slept. He loved the way your eyes fluttered when you dreamed, but just when a smile was about to form on his face; thoughts of him doing you harm flooded his broken mind.

Silent tears would stream down his face as he held your sleeping body close to him. It went on like this for days. Every morning Bucky would wake up with even more tired eyes than the day before. You tried to coax him into getting sleep at night, but his fear was washing over him like a tidal wave.

“Baby, you can sleep. I trust you. I love you. I want you to be at peace.” It was a Saturday morning and Bucky looked exhausted. You were cupping his face in your hands, looking at him with the utmost concern.

“I won’t be at peace till I know I can fall asleep without having to worry about hurting you.” His face was hard, he was serious. You gave him a slight frown and pulled his face to yours, your lips contacting his soft ones. You kissed him sweetly when your phone rang. You annoyingly pulled away, Bucky could tell by your reaction that you didn’t want to stop. He chuckled and cracked a smile.

You grabbed your phone. It was from Steve.

It read: Gear up everyone. We have a mission. Meet in the debriefing room in 30 minutes.

“Come on, babe. Duty calls. We have a mission.” You took his hand and pulled him off the bed to go get dressed. He groaned, but complied.

“Okay, so tonight, our mission is to infiltrate the H.Y.D.R.A. headquarters to extract one of the infinity stones. They somehow found it, but it’s located in the heart of the base. We’re all going to have to work together to get it.” Steve was concerned for everyone’s safety. These evil men didn’t play nicely.

The ride on the quinjet was quiet. Everyone was getting in the zone. Bucky was slightly gripping your hand. You could tell that he was terrified to be going back into a H.Y.D.R.A. base.

“It'a going to be okay.” You whispered into his ear and kissed his temple. He gave you a shy smile, giving you a loving kiss to your lips. When he pulled away, his eyes were filled with so much love. But, as he looked away, his smile faded and fear took him over as the base came into view.

The drop door opened and everyone started to jump out. Bucky gave your hand one last squeeze before he let go and leaped out of the jet. You followed close behind and landed with your feet on the ground.

The mission seemed to be going perfectly, you were paired with Bucky. They made him your partner for every mission so in case anything related to the Winter Soldier happened, you would be there to calm him down and bring him back.

You and Bucky were almost at the middle of the base, you easily took out anyone that was in your way. You made it to the end of the hallway where the infinity stone lied and began to break the lock. You weren’t strong enough, so you switched places with Bucky. He broke the lock while you knocked out anybody that tried to get near him.

“I almost got it.” Bucky grunted out while trying to punch the lock with his metal arm.

You turned to him, “All clea-” you let out a groan as someone punched you in the gut, sending you to ground. Bucky instantly turned around at the sound. There you lay on the ground, with a gun pointed to your head.

“Come with me or I put a bullet through her pretty, little head.” The thick Russian accent of the H.Y.D.R.A. agent hung thick in the air. Bucky looked at you one more time and raised his hands. Another agent came from the side of him and hit him in the head with the butt of the gun, both your visions fading into black.

You woke up with your heading spinning. You were tied to a chair in a corner of the room, and you could feel the pain still bright in your abdomen. The only source of light was in the middle of the room, hanging above a metal table. As you strained your eyes, you saw someone chained to it. Bucky. There was dried blood on the side of his face.

“Bucky? Baby?” You groaned, the pain stretching to your ribs.

Bucky was thrashing around and immediately looked at the sound of your voice. Hope sparkled in his eyes, grateful that you were awake. “F/N, I love you. I love you so much.” It sounded like he was saying goodbye.

“No. Don’t do this. Do not be saying it like it’s goodbye, James Buchanan Barnes.” You were crying, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I love you more than you’ll ever know, but you aren’t going to do this to me. Don’t be acting this way.” He gave you a soft smile.

Then suddenly, a man burst through the door, and both of you snapped your heads up. The man had dark eyes, he was like a dark cloud rolling in. He had a notebook in his hand… with a red star on it. Bucky’s eyes went wild. The man smirked at you. He was going to make you watch, watch him suffer. You screamed, tears streaming down your face. You were yelling at Bucky to not give in, to be strong, but everything around him drowned out. You cried out that if he couldn’t, it was okay. That you loved him, that you wouldn’t blame him.

All Bucky focused on was the man with the notebook. The man in front of him smirked, throwing it down on the table, the sound echoing like a bomb in the room.


@floofypillow @ficarchive007

Whatcha think? Was it good? Let me know! I’ll have the next chapter tomorrow :)

Originally posted by pxggycxrters

if you want to be added to the tag list for this series or permanently, message me!!

valeriianz  asked:

“Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.” (Coliver and make it really frickin' SAD) cos I'm in a weird mood :,D

Wow this took long to write but anyways here you go, have a Coliver High School AU :) 

Connor clenches his jaw and forces himself to stare back at Oliver with cold, hardened eyes.

“You…you want to stop this?” He asks, his voice lacking any specific emotion as he echoes Oliver’s words.

If Oliver is affected by this conversation at all, he certainly isn’t showing it; instead he chooses to stare right back at Connor, standing his ground with his head held high. The only difference in the two of them right now is the tiniest glimpse of vulnerability in Oliver’s eyes that only Connor would be able to notice because he knows him so well.

“I have to” Oliver responds “I just…I can’t do this anymore.”

Connor frowns, his eyebrows drawing together so hard that distinct lines form on his forehead.

“Why not? It’s been going good hasn’t it? You can’t say you didn’t enjoy any of it!” Connor adds the last part in with a small laugh, “Come on Ollie these past few months have been great-“

“I’m not denying that.” Oliver says simply “I just can’t continue like this, us fucking all the time but hanging out at school and at parties like we’re still just best friends, I can’t go on as if-“

“As if what, Oliver?” Connor’s voice has turned almost mocking and cruel in an attempt to guard himself and his emotions and he tries his best not to clench his fists so much that his fingers force blood from his palms. No matter how tempting the thought is, he doubts it could hurt more than this sinking feeling in his stomach as he waits for Oliver’s explanation.

Oliver sighs exasperatedly, “As if I’m not in love you”.

Just like that everything freezes and Connor’s bedroom falls completely silent, except for the faint ringing in Connor’s ears.

He feels lightheaded, his mouth unconsciously drops open and his eyes widen and he feels like a professional boxer just took a strong swing at him.

It’s not the words themselves that shock Connor. Being friends with Oliver for the past five years, he knows how to read him and Connor may have suspected Oliver had feelings for him but Connor was determined to bury those suspicions, if Oliver didn’t want to tell him then they could continue with their friends-with-benefits charade and everything would be fine.

Except Oliver has just told him that he loves him and he told him in the most exhausted tone that Connor’s ever heard. That’s what shocks him and that’s what hurts.

The knowledge that Oliver has…just given up.

“I…” Connor starts, he doesn’t know what he wants to say, doesn’t know how to fix this or what he wants to happen but he just knows he has to say something. “Oliver I…I like you…you’re my best friend. I just…I…”

“Don’t do relationships?” Oliver supplies and there’s no resentment in his voice, it’s even and balanced as if he’s just stating a fact; which Connor supposes he is in a way.


“Exactly.” Oliver whispers “You don’t do relationships and I do.”

“Hey, you were the one who started this.” Connor reminds him, his words dangerously boarding on the side of harsh.

But it’s no lie. Six months ago it was Oliver who approached Connor at Asher’s house party. It was Oliver who pushed him against the wall and rambled into his ear about how much he wanted him.

Connor had reluctantly shaken his head and refused. Oliver had been drunk, so much so that Connor could smell the revolting scent of cheap beer every time Oliver leaned in towards him and there was no way in hell that Connor was going to take advantage of his best friend, especially when he wasn’t in his right mind.

Oliver had glared back at him, utterly furious and stormed off to Michaela who later brought him home because Oliver refused to go home with Connor as originally planned; the next morning Connor woke up to Oliver’s ringtone and the second he answered, Oliver’s desperate apologies flooded his ears.

“Hey, hey Ollie calm down, it’s fine.”

“No, no, fuck it’s not Connor I’m so sorry, please, I was so drunk and I’m sorry, I-“

“Did you mean it?”

“What? I-“

“Oliver. Did you mean it?”

“Y…Yes I meant it.”

“That you wanted to fuck me?”

“I…fuck Connor you’re such an asshole, yes.”

“Well then, what are you doing later today?”

And that was that. Afterwards Connor asked if Oliver was okay with this just being a sex thing with no romantic feelings attached. Oliver had readily agreed and as far as Connor could tell, Oliver hadn’t been lying when he said he was okay with it.

Perhaps it was the afterglow that had clouded Connor’s judgement. Maybe Oliver had looked upset or disappointed when he said that but Connor never picked up on it. If he had, he never would have continued this in the first place.

“I know I did. I’m sorry. This wasn’t fair to you.” Oliver wraps his arms around himself, his right hand clutching his elbow and his left hand underneath clutching his side.

Connor runs a hand through his hair, swallows hard and stares down at the stain on his carpet that Oliver made two years ago when he spilled his spaghetti bolognese dinner from laughing too hard at something Connor said that neither of them can remember now.

“So why did you…why did you keep this thing going if you…you know?”

Oliver’s dark, sarcastic laugh is what causes Connor to look up at him again and the pain on Oliver’s face cuts through Connor’s heart like a knife.

“Because somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.

Connor shakes his head hurriedly, feet thinking for him as he steps towards Oliver until there’s barely any space between them.

“You’re not pathetic.” Connor promises quietly

Oliver smiles but his eyes remain lost and uneasy as they look at the ground between them,

“I am; I always have been. I’ve… Connor I’ve loved you practically since we first met and you…you’re perfect and you’ve always been there for me and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but that’s exactly what I’m doing and I’m really sorry but I just…I can’t take this anymore I can’t I-“

The tears that must have been building for the past half hour finally fall from Oliver’s eyes, one after the other until Oliver’s breathing sounds more like continuing, wrecked gasps and his whole body is trembling.

It’s a split second decision that Connor makes without any thought of why this is the most inappropriate moment to do this but he takes Oliver into his arms and hugs him tight. He feels Oliver’s sharp intake of breath against his neck, most likely stunned that Connor is hugging him because they’ve never hugged, the reason for that being that Connor never hugs anyone.

But then again, Connor’s never felt what he feels for Oliver, for anyone else.

He’s never felt that sickening, consuming, agonising pain like he’s going to throw up and never stop when he saw someone else in physical or emotional pain like he just experienced with Oliver a few minutes ago.

He’s never wanted to stroke someone’s hair back from their face and watch as they smile softly back at you with wide loving eyes after sex like he did with Oliver just the night before.

He never felt like he could trust or care for someone as completely as he does with Oliver.

He just never accepted it until now.

Rubbing Oliver’s back in circles gently, Connor waits a few minutes for his sobs to subside and until he himself gains total control and fights back his own tears before he says all the words he never could into Oliver’s ear,

“Ollie, you’re not pathetic. You’re not you’re…you’re kind and good. You’re fucking gorgeous. You’re my best friend. So I thought it was normal liking you, being willing to die for you and by that I mean the amount of times I studied for a test because you told me to. I just…I pretended that the only reason why I wanted to sleep with you was because you were hot and we were friends so surely that would make it better but…but that wasn’t the only reason.”

Oliver sniffs into his shoulder and Connor hears him faintly say, “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Now it’s Connor who laughs sarcastically, “I’m not lying. Oliver I…I tried not to like you, I tried not to love you. Before, it was easier because I just had sex with other people and tried to forget you but even then something wasn’t right. I kept thinking their eyes weren’t beautiful like your brown ones or stupid things like that and then…then when we started this…this thing, I thought my feelings would stop because I assumed they were just because you’re attractive but Ollie they just got worse and worse and I tried to-to fight them but I-I couldn’t….” Connor shuts his eyes as a single tear betrays him and falls down his cheek, “I couldn’t stop myself from loving you and I…I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it.”

A minute of silence passes…and then another and another until Connor’s heart is beating so hard in his chest that it’s physically painful but he knows he has to wait for Oliver to speak, for him to adjust to what his best friend just said.

Finally Oliver pulls back, his eyes are rimmed with a light, disturbing shade of red that makes Connor’s blood run cold but there’s a sparkle of hope in Oliver’s eyes that Connor feels like he hasn’t seen in such a long time.

“Did you mean all of that?”

Connor nods.

“You…you love me?”

Connor’s lips turn up into a genuine soft smile and he nods again.

Oliver swallows hard, his eyes flickering across all of Connor’s features before daring to ask,

“What about your strict ‘no boyfriends’ rule?”

Connor blinks and his mind races with a million possible answers to this question but none of them stick out as any good, none of them feel right anymore so instead Connor leans forward and kisses Oliver gently on the lips.

It’s a chaste kiss, one they’ve only shared a handful of times and only when they were half asleep and drained from their previous activities.

Connor lets his lips linger over Oliver’s for a second longer than necessary before pulling back and lifting a finger to stroke Oliver’s cheek until he opens his eyes and meets Connor’s again.

“I meant what I said, I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want faceless boyfriends who don’t know me and who don’t care about me, the type of guys who usually ask me to be their boyfriend. I don’t want them, I never have. But I…I always wanted you, in whatever way you wanted me. You do know me…I’m lucky enough to have you care about me and want me so…so yeah…if you want to be my boyfriend then…then alright, let’s go for it.”

“You mean that?” Oliver asks; his voice already lighter and a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

Connor nods, grinning as he leans in to kiss Oliver again, not so chastely this time.

“Yes, yes I mean it.”

Oliver finally grins wide enough to display his adorable, prominent dimples but Connor doesn’t get time to fully appreciate them before Oliver captures his lips in a soaring kiss and wraps his hand around Connor’s waist to pull him closer.

Needless to say, Connor isn’t complaining.

Wisdom Teeth

Request: You get your wisdom teeth taken out and you’re all happy and then you cry and Shawn is really amused and joking with you

a/n: hiiiii! this one is kinda short but it’s lots of fluff and who doesn’t love fluff!! i hope y’all enjoy and i hope your week has been fabulous as we come to the end of another wonderful week🤗🤗

Your name: submit What is this?

You walked into the dentist office gripping Shawn’s hand. You hadn’t spoken a word since he picked you up and drove fifteen minutes to your dentist.  The distinct smells of antibacterial soaps, disinfectant wipes, acrylic’s used for crowns and denture construction, tooth dust, and many more scents that you couldn’t particularly name unwelcomely greeted you.

           Shawn led you to the front desk where you had your eyes trained on the navy blue carpet floor.  He squeezed you hand for reassurance, but you still didn’t speak up. Shawn sighed, “Y/n Y/L/n,” He glanced over at you, but you still wouldn’t look up from the floor, “She has a noon appointment for her uh, wisdom teeth.” 

Keep reading

A little too much

Shawn Mendes x Reader

Words: 750

Originally posted by mendesgif

You attend a very demanding university and it is really stressing you out. You barely have free time lately because it was the final exam phase. You feel like with every semester it gets harder. At week days you always spent the whole day in university, and on weekends you studied all day. You didn’t even called your boyfriend Shawn as often as you used to because you were so busy with studying. The past three weeks you didn’t get much sleep and every day you felt more exhausted, but you found time to visit your family next week, and you’re really looking forward to it. Especially because you know your boyfriend of almost one year is at home after a long time too.

You had a long ride with the train back home and Shawn told you he would come, pick you up from the station. As you got off the train with your luggage, he texted you he would wait in the car, since it became not save in public places for him anymore because of his fans. As you spot his car, you walked faster. He quickly got out of the car and pulled you into a tight hug. After minutes you let go of each other. “Y/N. I missed you so much” he told you, smiling.
“I missed you too” you answered and kissed him finally after a long time. “How was your arrival? You look tired. ” “oh the ride was good, and yes, I am tired.” Tired of everything, you thought as you both got into the car.

Once in the car you felt how the pressure starts to fall off from you, to know that you don’t have to go to the university for the next few days, to know that you can spend a relaxed weekend with your family and your boyfriend was everything you needed at this moment. But at the same time you thought of your exams, and you knew you didn’t were good at them as you used to be. You knew your grades won’t be as good as the semester before. And it made you feel terrible. Your parents have high expectations on you, especially your father and you don’t want to dissappoint them but this time it was inevitable.

The whole way to your home you thought about it,   when Shawn tried to talk to you, you just gave him quick answers, and were lost in your thoughts again seconds later.

You two decided to make a nice movie night, with lots of blankets, cuddles, popcorn and of course all of the Harry Potter movies, since your parents wouldn’t be at home till tomorrow because of work. You layed in your bed when Shawn put in the first Harry Potter Movie, but before he could start it you began to cry. Tears streamed down your face and you couldn’t stop them. You didn’t even know what the reason was. Shawn held you in his arms, and asked what was wrong, but you weren’t able to answer. Your sobs absorbed the words and he just pressed you stronger in his arms.

After minutes, which felt like hours to you, you finally managed to speak the words you thought about for days. “ I don’t think I can do this anymore. University is stressing me out and I don’t know what to do. I’ve studied so hard but my grades are still bad. And I miss you and my family so much and …” you managed to speak before your broke down into tears again. Shawn just held you and comfortingly strokes your back.

After minutes he answered:“ Sometimes it all gets a little too much, but I promise it will get better. I know the last weeks were exhausting but you have to stay strong, even if it’s hard. You can and will make it through. Don’t let exams or grades get you down, you’re a smart person, we all know this. You don’t have to prove anyone anything. I’m sure next week it all will already be a lot better. You’ll see.”

“I love you ” you said as you placed your head in the crook of his neck. “I love you too, so much. Please, don’t ever let something like this get you down again.” “I’ll try” “Are you ready for Harry Potter now?”  "Of course" you smiled, and for the first time after weeks you felt totally calm and happy again and fell asleep a few minutes later.

Hey, this is my first Imagine and I hope you guys like it. I´m sorry if there are any mistakes in my writing because english is not my first language, but I tried my best. :) 

Send in requests!

Prompt request #2

Request from anon: I was reading your prompt list and I came with this request about Bellamy, where him and the reader are in a relationship but on unity day, when most of people are high, she is dancing with Raven and Octavia, and when she stops and go look for Bell, she see him kissing Clarke, you can choose how it ends. With numbers: 4, 5, 7, 12, 14 and 40.

4: “I can’t believe you.”

5: “Of all people, HER!”

7: “That’s why.”

12: “Don’t be like that, please.”

14: “You know it’s true!”

40: “If you don’t, I will.”

Love this request!! 

Word count: 1,164

Warnings: swearing & lots of rage lol

Thank god for unity day, you thought as you looked around at the camp. Everyone was either drunk or high, some were both. They were able to forget about their problems and just be teenagers for once. You weren’t high, and weren’t drunk yet. As everyone danced you could see pairs of people making out to the side, or being pulled into a tent. It made you smile, reminding you of the many times you or Bellamy had pulled the other into a tent. You had never loved anyone before him and you were so happy with him.

“Earth to Y/N, Hellooooo?” Raven shouts at you, pulling you back from your thoughts. 

Keep reading

My memory of Crystal is pretty fuzzy at this point in the story, as I had surrendered to my hatred and become Darth Jet. But didn’t Usagi basically pitch a fit whenever anyone brought up even the VERY SENSIBLE idea that Mamoru might be kind of evil now?

Like this scene:

and this one:

Had Usagi like “FUCK YOU WHAT DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER” and run out sobbing? And then Luna and the Senshi were all wracked with completely unnecessary guilt because they dared make precious darling Usagi shed a tear with their very reasonable questions when the fate of the world was at stake?

Versus here, where the conversations essentially are:

“Have you considered he could be evil?”
“Yeah, I have. I’m being careful.”
“Okay, we’re still suspicious, but we’ll trust you.”



"Welcome to the world, baby girl." Grayson Imagine

Authors note: y/b/n - your baby’s name
Requested: yes. Anon

Being young and carrying a baby is a hard task for all teen girls in this society. When you had found out you were pregnant with Grayson’s child, you were scared to death. You knew you wanted to have it, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to be a mother. Unsure of your options, you went to a local center to found them out. It looked like the only options you had were to have the baby and keep it or to have the baby, but have it be adopted. After thinking about what you wanted to do for a little while, you awaited Grayson’s arrival at your house. You had brought the test with you and you had to admit that scenarios were already playing in your mind of Grayson holding your baby and playing with the toddler as he or she grew. He finally walked through your front door and you were too nervous to waste any time. “Grayson, I’m pregnant.” His face faltered for a split second before he asked you to repeat yourself. “I’m pregnant, Grayson.” You said this time. He looked from your mouth to your eyes, then to your stomach. He dropped his duffel bag which was full of gym clothes and stepped towards you quietly. “What? I’m going to be a dad?” His hands stretched towards your belly. You nodded silently, still waiting for a reaction. He finally looked back to your eyes and you saw he had tears in his. You hand subconsciously went to his face and wiped a tear away. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay. We will figure it out, G.” You whispered as you wrapped him in a hug. “No, Y/N. I’m not crying for that reason. I’m crying because there is literally nothing else I could want more than this.” He laughed through his happy sobs that were now more present than before.
Throughout your pregnancy, Grayson had been so supportive and made sure he could come to all the appointments with you. At around 18 weeks, the both of you found out that the gender of your baby was a girl and Grayson would not shut up about how he hoped that she looked like you. When you first felt your baby girl kick, you were 26 weeks pregnant. You videod it and sent it to Grayson who happened to be in a meeting, but 30 minutes later he was back at the house you had bought together to feel and see her kick again. The both of you picked out certain things for her nursery like green paint (neither of you liked blue or pink), a yellow crib, and other miscellaneous things that you would need.
At 2 weeks past your due date, you and Grayson were so ready for your little girl to be here in your arms already. However like the two of you, she was stubborn and would come whenever she wanted. Today was a Tuesday, so naturally Grayson and yourself were reading fan reactions to the ‘Dolan Twins’ video. You laughed at a couple of tweets too hard because you could’ve sworn you just peed yourself, but then you felt the most excruciating pain you’d ever felt. You screamed in surprise and pain. Grayson immediately stopped laughing and looked at you while saying, “Is it time? Is she coming?”. You nodded vigorously, knowing that your water had just broke, before waddling towards the door as he grabbed the “go bag” and assisted you to the car. As Grayson started down the driveway, he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles. “Let’s go get our little girl.” He said with a happy smile on his face and for a split second, nothing else mattered except knowing that Grayson would be a great father to your baby. You started crying and he kept questioning whether he needed to get you anything for your pain. You assured him that all you needed was to get to the hospital while crying and laughing because it was cute to see him freak out a little bit. No matter how prepared you think you are, it is never enough.
Throughout the trip to the hospital and delivery, Grayson never left your side and always smiled at you despite how hard you were squeezing his hand because of the pain. “Y/N, you’re doing so well, baby.” He would say to you when he gave your forehead a kiss and pushed your hair back. Although you were late in terms of your due date, the delivery was quick. Y/B/N was in your arms before long and Grayson was just smitten over the view of the two of you finally together. After many, many tears and nervous touches, Grayson agreed to hold her. He was afraid that he would break her because she was so tiny. “Welcome to the world, baby girl.” Grayson cooed at her while she held onto his thumb with all of her fingers. You smiled at the sight before you. You knew that this was all you would ever need to be happy all the time.
She had been awake and quite fussy with you, but as soon as she was against Grayson’s chest, she was out like a light. You gaped your mouth in astonishment. How could she possibly be sleeping on him when you had carried her for well over 9 months? Grayson looked at you with a grin and a few small laughs. Y/B/N smiled at the vibrations of Grayson’s chest which resulted in more tears and more taunting laughs towards you from him. With the events from today and finally being able to sleep, your eyelids dropped closed with the view of Grayson and his little girl on his chest snoozing away too.

Attention Seeker

Request: Tell me why, when i tried looking for your blog, i almost paniced because i couldn’t find your blog. Omg. And can you do a scenerio with Jimin and dating him while he is a star but the fans get in the way? Angsty and maybe fluff? Thank you! ❤❤

Originally posted by sugaglos

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 2.100

Warning: really offensive and hurtful phrases, which sadly have been said to real celebrities via social media

A/N: so this is the angsty part! if you’d rather have a fluffy ending, then you should go check that one out heheh

Part Two | Part Three

She’s so cringe worthy omg


(Y/N)’s trash tbh

i don’t like (Y/N), she should go kill herself

#RIPARMY Jimin deserves so much better

(Y/N) and Jimin… ew

Your eyes scanned over all those hurtful comments left under a selfie Jimin had posted of you two on BTS’s official Twitter page. Plenty more followed, most of them being really degrading and bashful.

You wanted to stop reading them, you wanted to stop feeling the pain, you wanted to stop being hated so much. But you couldn’t, your eyes always drifting back to the comments ARMYs left under the picture, making tears well up in your eyes and your stomach twist.

They don’t hate you for you (Y/N), you said to yourself. They’re hurt because you’re dating their idol, their everything and they’re scared he might love them less if you’re in the way.

Tears rolled down your cheeks and sobs escaped your lips as you pressed your eyes shut and tried to forget all those hurtful words. Your fingers clenched into a fist, digging your nails into your skin, leaving deep marks.

This wasn’t the first time that fans had sent you hate comments. Basically every time a picture of you appeared somewhere, they would leave their comment, being especially nasty if it was a picture of you with a member of Bangtan. You didn’t understand it though. Before you started dating Jimin, you were a fan, too. You had a fan account on Twitter dedicated to Bangtan. You were an ARMY, you were one of them. Why would they hate you that much? Why would they hate someone who made their favorite person happy?

Your thoughts were cut off when you heard your door bell ring and you immediately got up, wiping your hands over your face, to hide the fact that you had been crying. Not that it helped much, as you noticed your red and puffy eyes as you walked past the mirror.

You sighed in exhaustion and opened your front door, revealing a happy faced Jimin, grinning from ear to ear and holding a bouquet of roses in his hands. He was about to say something when he noticed your fake smile and puffy face. Instantly he came closer to you, closing the door behind him and holding you in a tight hug.

“What happened?”, he whispered into your hair, leaving a soft kiss. You snuggled deeper into his embrace, remembering all the cruel comments and silent tears made their way down your face onto his shirt. You slightly shook your head, signaling Jimin that you didn’t want to talk about it. He loved his fans to death and knowing what they were saying to you would break his heart.

He believed in the good of people. He believed that if they saw how happy he was, they’d be happy, too. If they’d see how the rest of Bangtan loved you, they’d love you, too. He believed that would be enough for them to accept you and love you like he did. Jimin didn’t know how much hate you got through all social media and sometimes even in real life. He didn’t know how some fans had already destroyed your bike which was standing in front of your apartment complex, leaving ripped and burned pictures of you and Jimin scattered on the floor. He didn’t know how many letters you got sent to your home or placed on the staircase, sending you death threats and other kinds of profanities.

You never told him.

You never told him because he’d be worried for you and do something that might make him look bad in front of the media and his fans. You wanted him to stay the happy and cheerful little cutie he was and not worry about what his fans were doing to you. You knew from the very start of your relationship that those things might happen, so it wasn’t his fault. He shouldn’t have to deal with that.

Jimin slowly parted from you and gently put his finger underneath your chin, making you look up at him.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”, he asked in concern. “I’d love to say that my surprise got you so emotional but I guess that’s not it”, he said jokingly.

You chuckled slightly and shook your head. “No it’s not that but I really love the roses”, Jimin handed them to you and you two parted fully so you could place them on the counter, before grabbing a vase and filling water in it.

“Then what is it?”, he said, standing next to you by the counter.

“Don’t worry Jimin, I’m okay. It’s just a weird day today”, you tried to excuse your behavior and gave him a weak fake smile. He didn’t fall for it though and gave you a skeptic look. Your phone suddenly buzzed and you flinched, knowing that it might be another hate comment being sent directly at you.

Jimin noticed your odd reaction and walked over to grab your phone before you could stop him. He unlocked it and read the messages you had been reading before as you hadn’t bothered to close the tab and delete it.

“Jimin no please!”, you begged him, trying to get your phone back but he tightened his grip, not letting go of your device. As you saw his eyes go wide and complete shock spreading on his face, new tears formed in the corner of your eyes and you slowly sat down on a chair. 

Suddenly he burst out into laughter, making you look up in confusion. He had dropped down onto the floor, laughing so hard that tears started to well up in his eyes. You didn’t understand what was going on. Did he not just read the comments? Why was he laughing like that?

“Jimin? Why are you laughing?”, you asked hesitantly. 

He tried to calm himself which only succeeded partly and managed to choke out “These tweets are hilarious, our fans have such a great sense of humor”.

Your jaw dropped and you thought you might have misheard what he had just said. You straightened your posture and leaned forward a bit.

“What did you just say?”, you asked innocently, raising your eyebrows questioningly.

Jimin slowly got up and moved over to where you were sitting, still catching his breath and chuckling. “I said”, he started, before taking a deep breath. “ARMY are hilarious, they have a great sense of humor.”

He started sitting down next to you but you quickly got up and stared at him. So you hadn’t misheard him.

“Are you kidding me? Are you being for real now? Do you really think these comments are just some sick joke?”, you asked him furiously. He couldn’t be this blind. He just couldn’t.

His eyes went wide but then a smile spread on his lips. “Of course it’s a joke (Y/N). ARMY would never say those things and mean it. They love me, they’d never hurt my loved ones like that”, he chuckled and tried to grab your hand but you ripped it away.

“You don’t get it Jimin. You really don’t get it”, you sighed in disbelief. “I’ve been hiding these kinds of comments from you since we started dating. Your fans send me stuff like this every day”, you exclaimed, raising your hands. “My social media is full with these disrespectful words, hating not only me but all my friends and family”, tears started to stream down your face.

Jimin looked surprised from your reaction and quickly made his way towards you. “No, you totally misinterpret them (Y/N). These are ARMY you are talking about. They don’t mean these things. They love you babe, don’t cry”, he tried to hug you but you backed away, shoving him off you.

“Stop defending them! You don’t know what they did to me!”, you screamed out in frustration, more tears welling up in your eyes from reliving the traumatizing events. “I tried to hide it all from you because I knew - no I thought - you’d get so disappointed and your whole view on your fans would be destroyed. I didn’t want you to think less of them just because they feel like they need to scare me away in order to protect you. But now I know that even though you know, you don’t believe they could be this cruel”, you started sobbing.

“Do you know what they did to me Jimin?”, he silently shook his head, giving you the sign to continue. You swallowed hard.

“First it was only the messages online. Message like you just read. But then when I wouldn’t leave, they’d start sending me death threats via mail. They’d leave cards on the porch or in the staircase, mentioning the best ways to kill myself or just saying what a bad person I am. Then they started vandalizing, crashing my bike, burning up pictures of us in front of the apartment building and spray painting hate messages on the walls. Whenever I’d go out, someone would be waiting there, ready to yell in my face what a disgrace I am and how I don’t deserve you. Sometimes they throw stuff at me, like eggs or tomatoes or anything like that. I went through all of that without saying a word because I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to protect you and love your fans unconditionally because they need your love, Jimin. But so do I”, you fell to your knees and sobbed harder, putting your hands in front of your face, your stomach tightening by the thought of all the horror you went through for Jimin.

Jimin stood there and didn’t move. He had been quiet the whole time, looking at you motionless. Now he stared at you blankly, not even flinching.

“You’re a liar”, he stated. You looked up, outraged and clenching your hands into fists. “My fans would never do those things. They don’t have a reason to. You’re only jealous because I spend so much time away with them and can’t give you enough attention”, he continued, words full of disgust.

New tears of anger formed in your eyes and you got up from your knees, facing him. “Are you saying that I just randomly invented all of this because I need your attention?”, you spat.

He nodded. “Of course. It’s all a little bit too dramatic to be true, isn’t it?”, Jimin laughed and turned away, to sit back down on the couch.

“Stop”, you coldly said. Jimin froze and looked at you confused. 

“What? It’s not like I’m going to make a big deal out of it (Y/N). I understand that I need to give you more attention, so come over here and cuddle with me”, he smiled gently. 

You couldn’t believe what he said. The sweet and caring Jimin, you knew as your boyfriend was gone and an ignorant asshole was now standing in your apartment. You didn’t know what to do. Obviously he didn’t believe you and all you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

“Stop”, you repeated. “Don’t you dare take a seat on my couch. So you don’t believe me at all? Even though you’ve seen the tweets?”

Jimin laughed. “No I don’t believe you.”

“Then get out of my apartment”, you stated coldly, moving out of the way and signaling towards the door.

“What? Are you crazy?”, he asked in confusion. “I just said I understand you, why would you kick me out?”

“I’m not kicking you out, I’m breaking up with you Jimin”, you whispered, making his eyes grow wide and his jaw drop. “You rather defend your fans than to believe your girlfriend even though you have the proof right in front of your face. So get out and don’t contact me ever again.”

Jimin rolled his eyes at you and walked past you. He stopped at the doorway and turned around to face you. “You know you’re being really dramatic right now, right? Quit the games and face reality. I love you (Y/N), why would you let something like this break us apart?”

You closed your eyes at his words, making you feel like he slammed a knife right into your heart. “Don’t say those three words if you don’t mean it Jimin”, you breathed out and gently shoved him out of the door. 

“I hope it was worth it believing in your fans rather than your girlfriend”, you said while closing the door on his face, gliding down and erupting into deep sobs.

Depiction of Love; 1

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader 
Genre:  Angst | drabble series (vampire!AU)
Summary:  The very depiction of love, a kiss, can be given in a rush before leaving the house or with indubitably different intentions in the corner of a crowded room but it is always a silent secret held between the lips of the receivers, the lovers, the couple. It is always different, as different as the feelings buoying around it are for, its peculiarity, is the lack of voidness.
Prompt: “We can never be together” kiss.
Word Count: 1.456 words
AN: basically I just fell in love with a drabble game about kisses (here) and I just couldn’t resist making a series out of it. To be honest I’m not sure if I’m going to do all the kisses but I have an idea for at least half of the list. This was started on a mere impulse so I’m not sure myself how the updates are going to go since I’m currently working on other (many) projects.

Originally posted by sugagifs

The first scent he detects is the one of Douglas fir – the ginger wood of which her house is made of and that smells so much like home by now – and he automatically speeds up, his whole being pushing him beyond his limits so he can hold her in his arms and chase all his demons away.
It’s their last night together, he knows that, and he really shouldn’t be this eager to see her but, the only thought of touching her, even one last time, is enough to make his feet hit the concrete floor at a speed not deemed possible for any human being.
He inhales deeply, his whole body stirring when he catches the whiff of cinnamon tea, a scent that constantly accompanies her and that he can always taste in her mouth.
He stops altogether because there she is, in all her mundane beauty, her long hair tucked safely behind her ear, eyes focused on the book in her hands and bottom lip trapped under her teeth into an almost painful vise. She is, by far, the utmost beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on and, undoubtedly, the only one that was capable of conquering his un-beating heart.
His steps are soundless as he approaches her, a small smile tugging on his lips as he curtails their distance, every detail of her face now imprinted in his memory so he can remember her just the way she is now: healthy, beautiful, alive.
“You look lovely tonight”, his voice is soft as he says so, careful not to scare her and make her heart beat as fast as a hummingbird’s would, but that chariness it’s not enough because she jumps in her seat nonetheless, the little screech that escapes her mouth eliciting a grin to appear on his features.
“You scared the living shit out of me!”, she hoots in utter outrage, her small hand clasping her heart into a melodramatic gesture.
“I missed you”, he purposely ignores her words and lifts her from the chair – her weight close to one of a feather in his hands – just so he can wrap his arms around her, keep her so close to his own body he can’t discern their boundaries anymore, and breathe in the perfume in her neck and hair.

Keep reading

Bts comforting you after a fight with your best friend!

Jungkook wouldn’t really know what to do to help you with the argument so he would just focus on holding you as you cry it out since he knows that it’s easier to think after letting out your emotions. He would sit on the sofa with you on his lap, curled like a baby with your head in the crook of his neck, humming and singing in his beautiful voice, until you were ready to talk more about it. 

Originally posted by jungkookfortunekookies

Taehyung would concentrate completely on cheering you up, he hated it when his s/o cried and having you look in so much pain would worry him so much. He would dance and sing weirdly, make faces and basically anything he can think of to make you smile. He would help you sort out your problem with your friend after you were looking happier and would make sure it didn’t upset you as you talked about it. 

Originally posted by bwipsul

Jimin would see your broken state and break inside too but being the brilliant boyfriend he is who comforts everyone around him when they’re sad he would pull you close to him the second he saw you. He would pull your head into his chest, your body leaning against his, one hand stroking your back and the other stroking your head as you cried into him. He would whisper that it will be okay, even though he doesn’t actually know what’s wrong, he just wants you to feel better now and overcome the problem after. 

Originally posted by booptae

Namjoon would be really concerned as you walked over to him crying your eyes out, red in the face and sobbing. He would sit you on his lap, holding your hands in his and ask you what was wrong. He is a really thoughtful person so he would try to sort out the problem first so it doesn’t cause you anymore pain than it has to. He would talk in a sweet tone and wipe away your tears if you let any more fall. He would have really good ideas on how you could resolve the issues.

Originally posted by jiminrolls

Hoseok would be a lot like Taehyung and want to help you smile before finding out what’s wrong, he would wrap you in a warm blanket and then proceed to dance for you, silly, sexy and new dances that you had never seen before, he knew you adored when he danced so he would go all out performing for you and going in for kisses in between moves. Once he finds out what’s wrong he would definitely be eager to help you both make up and would have good ideas on how to. 

Originally posted by minseokhoseok

Yoongi would see you crying and immediately panic, he wasn’t good at seeing you upset and not getting upset himself, just the sight of your tear stained cheeks and hearing your sobs would make his heart plummet. He would take your hand and pull you into your bedroom and into bed, climbing in after you and pulling you into his chest. Sleeping or laying in bed personally helps him calm down whenever he is upset so it’s the first thing he will think of to help you. You would lay comfortably with him while he hums and talks about his day to help you fall asleep, he wouldn’t let himself nap at all since he would be worried you would wake up and be upset again or that you might have nightmares because of your sad subconscious. 

Originally posted by sugasuite

Seokjin would wrap you in a large warm hug and wipe your tears as soon as he saw you, he would hold you close and urge you to tell him what’s wrong. Once you opened your trembling lips and let out the reason within sobs he would try to take your mind off of the argument and all of the mean things you had both said by offering to let you help him cook dinner. He wouldn’t let you all that often because you weren’t very good and he had a system that you would always break when you helped so when he offered it would be very tempting. If you said yes he would be nice and let you cook how you wanted and have little competitions on who can cut faster or smaller. If you said no he would order food and cuddle you in the living room and eat with you until you feel better.

Originally posted by fuckboyjohnny

A request that I just completed! I hope you enjoy

-Ailee <3

anonymous asked:

maybe a multiple parter? dan and you get in a fight at vid con about something but it gets pretty serious and then you go to walk out of the room because you need a break and he grabs you and tells you you can't leave because 1) you're not done and 2) there are people out there and they'll see the fight. but eventually you guys make up and QUEUE POUNDTOWN (😉😉😉😉😉😉)

Hey guys! It’s Sarah. You know me of course there is smut :) hope you like it! I stayed at home because I had a fever last night so I will be writing a lot today. Tell me what you think and enjoy.
Warning: Smutty Sarah in the house
“So are you ready to go to the beach?” you asked your youtuber boyfriend Dan. You both went to Vidcon this year and Dan promised that while you were there the both of you were going to do something special.
“Sorry Babe, I can’t. I have to be in this other interview at 4:00 and I have to meet fans again at 6:00. I was thinking of hanging out with some friends too-” He pouted snaking his hands around your waist.
“But you promised..” you murmured stepping away from his touch.
“Come on Y/N, going to the beach is not important right now. I have to-” He raised his voice in complain but was suddenly interrupted. “Wow so I am not important?”
“I didn’t say that!! Are you deaf?” Dan responded.
“I wish I was! So I couldn’t hear you, you extreme twat!” the argument heated up quickly, you didn’t know if you were feeling angry or sad by his harsh words.
“Sorry for being such a jerk, you self-centered bitch” he plopped on the couch ending the fight with silent treatment. You were done with his bullshit, with tears in your eyes you turned around and headed towards the door of the lounge until a firm hand grabbed your wrist. “Where the fuck do you think you are going?” He said looking deeply in your eyes.
“Out” you almost whispered, trying to avoid eye contact hiding the tears that were slowly starting to drop.
“Look smart ass you can’t go because 1) We are not finished with this discussion and 2) people are going to see you and reporters are going to ask what happened and I don’t want that kind of bad attention on you” he moved his hands slowly from your hands to your chin lifting your head up to face his.
You noticed that he was also holding back tears regret reflected in his eyes “I am sorry I said those awful things to you, my love. I will eternally love you I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. If I could leave you to a better guy I would, I know you deserve better. But the thing is that I can’t. I want you to be all mine, I am crazy for you. You are my reason for life, you are my meaning of life and I couldn’t ask for more. I know I am a jerk but I will always be your jerk because you will forever be in my heart” he sobbed a little, tears falling down both of your cheeks.
“I am sorry for being a self centered bitch” you shivered.
“Stop, you are not a self centered bitch! You are the opposite of that okay? You will always be perfect in my eyes” he then in one swift motion leaned in into a long sweet kiss which quickly turned into a sloppy passionate one. Dan licked your bottom lip asking permission for an entrance but you teased ignoring the fact. Dan noticed and squeezed your ass tightly making you gasp clearing an entrance for his tongue. He explored your warm wet cavern as he slowly unbuttoned your blouse and slid you shorts down and threw them to the side revealing your matching black Victoria’s Secret bra and panties. (spon ^_^ ) Dan trailed kisses from your chin down to your neck sucking and biting on your g-spot.
“Mmm~” you moaned into his mouth as you felt his boner grow more and poke you between your thighs. He took off his shirt and pants revealing his already hard member. Dan pulled away his face bright pink from the intense make out.
He slid your panties off and started rubbing your g-spot in circles. He unexpectedly slid two fingers inside you making your breath hitch as he started to pump in and out of you faster. Dan stopped taking both his fingers out of you licking all your juices, he smirked when you groaned in annoyance at the sudden lose of contact. He took off his Calvin Klein’s and grabbed a condom out of your bag and slipped it on.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Even though you have done it many times before he always liked to ask for your approval not wanting you to feel forced.
You nodded in response and Dan aligned himself to your entrance. He thrusted into you giving you time to adjust, he pinned down your thighs and thrusted in a slow pace.
“Shit you are so tight” Dan moaned moving harder and faster to the point where you could hear your skin slapping against each other. “M-Move F-faster Harder” you begged putting your legs on top of Dan’s shoulders so he could have a better access. He suddenly hit your g-spot making your legs tingle in lust “Right there Baby girl?” He smirked slamming himself hitting the spot over and over. “Ahh you feel s-so good” he said as he went even faster than ever before. He panted looking into your eyes as his thrusts became sloppy.
“Ride me” he demanded.
You agreed and bounced up and down Dan’s big dick.
“Mahhh~” you threw your head back in pleasure.
Dan took your boob into his mouth and started sucking your bud thought the fabric. You unclasped your lace bra giving him full contact with your exposed chest. You grinned your hips, a familiar knot gradually forming on your stomach.
Dan’s hot tongue continued to lick and tug your now sensible bud.
“Y/N I’m close” Dan whispered on your ear
“M-me too”
“Com-e with me baby” he moaned before one simple thrust sent both of you to your peak. You rode of your high and tried to catch your breath panting hard.
You collapsed and rested on Dan’s chest. You checked the clock on the wall that read 3:54.
“Dan, don’t you have to go to the interview?”
You looked up at Dan with his messy wet curls.
“Nah.. I have bigger priorities” he chuckled as he cuddled next to you in the couch.

It’s Okay To Cry

Title: It’s Okay To Cry

Characters: Winchester brothers x Winchester!reader

Words: 1300

[Sadness, self-pressure, fluff]

You’re feeling sad and your brothers comfort you.

A/N: Don’t know where this came from really, I was in a good mood and then I just got this huge inspiration to write sadness haha.

Your name: submit What is this?

When you got back to the motel room you could already feel a lump forming in your throat. You did your best to ignore it, but you could tell that the mission would be quite impossible. So, naturally, you wanted to leave.

Dumping your bag on one of the beds, you immediately turned to the front door again. Your brothers inevitably caught sight of this.

”I-I think I’m going for a walk.” You declared quickly, before one of them could ask.

”Oh, okay, why?” Sam wondered, and you heard the confusion in his voice.

”Yeah, something wrong?” Dean chimed in, not far behind.

You didn’t look at them, instead you kept on facing the other way. Your eyes rested on your hands as you rummaged the pocket of your leather jacket for your phone. It was there, right where you had put it last.

”No… no, I just need some fresh air.” You shook your head as a further gesture, since your voice was rather weak.

You briefly pondered if Sam and Dean could hear how much you struggled to keep your voice steady, normal. Hopefully, they didn’t, but if they did you at least wished that they would catch on and not push it.

You didn’t give them any time to either react or respond, because you fumblingly grasped the door handle and escaped through the door.

Once outside you started the feel how your eyes burned. You pushed the tears away, you were a big girl, you were too old to cry like this. But most of all, you were a Winchester. And Winchesters didn’t weep.

Your hurried footsteps took you to a remote sidewalk leading into the forest. The fact that it was empty and surrounded by dark trees didn’t bother you at all, you actually wanted to be alone. Besides, you didn’t have to go far to return to the rest of the civilization.

The sun had almost retired from the sky, leaving behind a lilac shade all across it. Apart from leaves slightly rustling in a huff of wind, it was completely quiet. And there wasn’t a soul in sight. By the side of the path, just a little bit away from you, a bench was placed. You stumbled the last couple of steps towards it, and crashed down onto its seat.

Here, you couldn’t hold back the tears. Once you let out the first sob, the tightness around your chest slightly released as a sensation of relief washed over you. It felt good to let it all out, even though you felt silly and a head ache was getting a tighter grip around your head. This is what happens when you keep your emotions bottled up for too long. You were pushing yourself a bit too hard, even you could see that. But you had to, it was the job. Everyone else could handle it and so should you. You weren’t weak. That’s how you felt right now though.

Because here you were, sitting on a bench all alone, in a town you knew almost nothing about except for in which state it could be found, crying your eyes out. The sobs rocked your body as the hot tears rolled down your cheeks. You placed your elbows on your kneecaps and rested your face in the palms of your hands, hiding it. You were exhausted, and this sadness that you couldn’t shake enveloped you, not even for a good reason. Just because, it seems like.

”(Y/N)?” A ruff voice caught your attention.

You lifted your gaze and saw a somewhat blurred Dean in front of you, due to the tears in your eyes, clouding your vision. You opened your mouth to say something but couldn’t find any words.

Dean however sat down next to you on the bench, his eyes worried. He flung an arm around your shoulders, expecting you to curl into his hug. But instead, you looked away in another direction.

”This is embarrassing.” You muttered before you let out a choked, humorless laugh. You were ashamed of how you cried like a little child. You tried to wipe away some tears with the sleeve of you jacket, possibly some snot too in the process.

”Has something happened?” Dean asked, still looking at you, although you wouldn’t look back at him. He gently rubbed your back.

”No,” you shook you head. ”Nothing.”

”Then why are you sad?”

You didn’t have an answer to his question. It was far too simple for him to ask, judging by how far too hard it was for you to reply to.

”I don’t know.” It stung to admit that. And as if that wasn’t enough, you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out another sob.

”Hey, hey!” Your oldest brother’s voice was quiet, smooth. He reached out his hands and placed them on your cheeks, wiping away the heavy teardrops with his large thumbs, gently demanding you to turn your head towards him. ”Look at me.”

”I’m sorry,” you whimpered. The words left your mouth almost before you even thought of them. You were barely aware that you’d said them, they just slipped out.

”No, you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad. It’s okay to cry if you need to.” Dean’s green orbs nailed your own.

”I feel stupid.” You mumbled.

”Don’t. This only means that you’re human. Just like the rest of us.” He insured you, a faint, reassuring smiled played on his lips.

”You don’t break down like this.”

”Doesn’t mean I never have and I never will. Doesn’t mean I come damn close.” Dean revealed. ”Maybe it’s only because I don’t pressure myself as much as you do. (Y/N), you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great.”

”At hunting?” You questioned with a small voice. The tears still slowly rolled down your cheeks, but they weren’t coming as fast. And the ones that spilled over, Dean wiped away.

”At everything. (Y/N), you are the bravest person I know.”

A smiled made its way to your lips and you chuckled lightly through the tears. His words warmed your heart. ”Thank you.”

”It’s true. And by the way, it’s better to feel than to not.” He smiled back at you.

”Are you sure about that?” You asked.

”Not always. But in the end, I believe so.”

You nodded, taking in what he had said. Then, you wrapped your arms around his upper body and he pulled you in close, his body warmth warming you up too.

After a moment he spoke up. ”Ready to go back?”

You nodded into his chest, creating a mess in your hair, but you didn’t care.

”Come on then, kiddo.”

When you returned back to the motel, Sam almost immediately, shyly appeared around a corner. He watched you with weary hazel eyes, otherwise know as the puppy dog eyes. Dean nodded at him, while you attempted to smile.

Sam took this as a signal that it was okay to come closer, and he made his way over to you in a couple of fast, long strides as he stretched out his arms, a wingspan of about two meters. He was damn tall, your brother.

As he reached you, he engulfed you in a bear hug. He bent his neck, pressed his cheek against the top of your head and his large hand patted your hair. You clasped your arms around his waist, and in this comfort, a few more tears slipped out, wetting Sammy’s shirt. Although, there wasn’t much sadness left anymore.

Dean watched his siblings hug with a fond smile on his face.

A few moments of silence passed and still, no one had uttered a word since you came through the door.

That was until Sam broke the silence.

”You wanna watch a movie?” He kindly asked in a low voice.

”Yeah,” you sniffled one last time. ”I would love that.”

I’m Going to Hurt You

Request: “Hey there!! Idk if you do Harry Potter requests, but if you do, could I request a young!Remus x reader imagine based off of the song “already gone” covered by sleeping at last, except with a happy fluffy ending? Thanks!!”

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 2008

Warnings: ANGSTTTTT and violence n stuff

A/n: First time ever writing for this character, so I hope I did okay!

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all the memories they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our face held high
It never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

“We’ll always be together, right?” You asked softly.

Your head was in Remus’ lap, a billowing willow floated above as a gentle breeze sifted through the warm summer air. He was playing with your hair, looking down upon you with a loving gaze.

“You know I can’t promise that.” He whispered sadly, turning his head to look away now. “I can’t imagine you living a long and happy life if it were by my side.”

You sat up, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your head hung to the side, a pondering look spreading through your features. You flicked your eyes down to his hands, taking his in your own, your thumb running over the white lines and deep markings.

“I’m never going to leave you.” You spoke, a solemn tone laced within your statement. “You can’t make me.”

“But I can leave you.” He sighed, pulling you towards his chest. “It’s only a matter of time before something happens. I’ll do something that puts your safety at risk, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

Silent tears now fell from your face, being soaked into Remus’ school tie. You knew he was right, but you wouldn’t admit it out loud. There would come a day that Remus would leave you, for your own safety. He didn’t want his condition to be the downfall of the love of his life, and so, when the time came he prayed he would be strong enough to do the right thing. To let you go.  

Keep reading

The Greatest Fan of Your Life

Written By: Smutty Woozfairy

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1680

Warnings: Mentions of severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Please- if you ever think about hurting yourself or anyone else, talk to someone. It is serious. And there is help. If any of you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. You can message me on here or on my personal blog. I know that sometimes all you need is for someone to really hear what you are saying- I will be here to hear your voice and listen to your story.

A/N: So I wrote this in the spur of the moment. I’m sorry to those who have requested for Seventeen- I haven’t had the best summer, at all really. Just a lot of personal stuff. But this was something that I felt like I needed to write- it wasn’t a request. It was based on my day today and just my life in general. I’m sorry if this is heavy for some, I just needed to get this off of my chest through a way that i thought could possibly benefit others… Not sure if I want to make this into a longer story, maybe just do a part two. If you like it, please let me know If you hate it, please let me know. If you want a part two/more parts (that would be happier than this one), please let me know.

(Listened to the song “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain while writing this, which is also where I got the title from.)

Summary: A really bad day leads to you telling S. Coups about your bad life, but he seems to have a solution.

Keep reading

“Who I Am Inside” Part 5

“Who I Am Inside” Part 1

“Who I Am Inside” Part 2

“Who I Am Inside” Part 3

“Who I Am Inside” Part 4

A/N: Sorry this is kind of short! I will have more out soon! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

*Sam’s Pov*

   The drive from Indiana to Kansas wasn’t that long. It just took a few days to get back to the bunker. Y/n hasn’t said a word since we got her from her house. She just stared out the window, lifelessly, holding a pink baby quilt. I’m assuming that it belonged to her sister. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through right now. Her family that she knew is dead, her house burned to the ground, and her place of work. On top of that, finding out that Dean and I are her brothers, and her dad isn’t who she thought it was.

Dean stopped along a couple of fast food places so we could just get straight home. I thanked god that no cop pulled us over because we were all still covered in dried up blood. Dean and I didn’t try to start a conversation with Y/n most of the way because we understood she need her space. As we got closer, I thought I would try to give it a shot, but she beat me to the punch.

“Why are these things after me?” she says quietly.

“Because you are a Winchester. A long time ago, when I was six months old, a demon came into my room and tried to take me. My tried to stop him, begging him not to touch me. He killed her, she burned on the ceiling above my bed, and that day dad vowed to kill whatever killed her. He became a hunter and fought against the supernatural. He went undercover and did a whole bunch of cases around the United States. Pretty much taking Dean and I along with him everywhere.” I went ahead and told her the whole story of our lives.

“That sounds very fucked up. How do you guys go on with this hunting thing? Doesn’t it ever get old?” she asked.

“Like I said. Saving People, Hunting Things, It’s The Family Business.” Dean responded, solemnly.

“Didn’t you kill the thing that killed your mom though?” she inquired

“Revenge isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be, Y/n. Plus once you start hunting, there is no turning back. Are you sure you want this? This is a very big decision, and I just want to let you know that you will never be able to have a normal life after this. Just take your time and think about it for awhile.”  I said to her.

“Sam, I lost everything. I lost the two of the most important people in my life. The demon at the Library pretty much told me I was screwed until the day I die. I can’t turn back now, even if I wanted too.” she said.

“She’s got a point Sam. Y/n, first things first, we will train you to protect yourself. Then we will show you all about the lore and doing research, train you how to act while going undercover, and how to hunt. I will throw some more lessons in there too babygirl, but for now we start small.” Dean informed her.

I looked over at him as he talked to her. I could tell that Dean was starting to take Y/n under his wing before he even could. It was sweet, honestly. I liked how he was already accepting her into our group. She needed us, and we needed her. I just hated the fact that she had to go through all this pain. There’s always burdens a hunter holds.

*Y/n’s Povs*

As we pulled up to the place were these boys call home, I looked around. All I saw was an creepy abandoned building in the distance. Is this seriously where they live? Is this even safe?

“Home Sweet Home!” Deans cheers to himself as he parks the impala near the stairs.

“Is this a safe place to live in? An abandoned factory?” I questioned him, as I got my bags out of the trunk.

“You will see.” Dean says with a smirk as he pulled out a box from his pocket.

He opened it up and a key was in there, and he went over to the ridged concrete stairway and halted at an old, rusted looking door. I pursued after him down the stairs and watched him open it. Once we were inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes. This place was huge. It looked like something the military used back in the day.

“Welcome to your new home, Y/n!” Dean exclaimed, while taking off his beat up leather jacket and dropping his duffel.

“You guys live here? This place looks amazing.” I gawked, eyes still roaming over the room, taking everything in.

“Yeah, our grandfather gave us the key a couple years ago to this place since we are legacies to the Men Of Letter. You are too, you know? This is on there bunkers.” Sam quipped.

“I’ve never heard of the Men Of Letters, what did they do?”

Sam went ahead and told me all about the Men Of Letters, and told me about the encounter they had with our grandfather. How they took down Abbadon

“Time Travel?” I asked

“Yeah, I know. There is a lot of weird stuff out there. Dean and I stopped asking questions a long time ago.”


Originally posted by ardysgurl

My gaze followed the sound that came from the corner and all of the sudden I saw a man appear. He looked exhausted, as he fancied a long, brown trench coat. His eyes were as a blue as the sea, and his hair just looked like a mess. It made me want to run my fingers through it.

“Hello, Y/n. My name is Castiel. I am an Angel of the Lord.” He said, in a deep voice.

“You’re an angel?” I asked in complete shock.

“Yes, I am. I’m so sorry to hear about your family. I wanted to let you know that they are happy in heaven. Both of their Heaven’s consist of old memories of you. Especially Nevaeh.” He said.

I looked down at Nevaeh’s pink quilt in my arms, not even noticing how my grip became tighter.

“My Nevaeh. Gone. Why?” I thought to myself, as tears formed in my eyes.

Sam threw Castiel a look, while he tried to figure out what he did wrong. Then he walked over to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Hey Y/n, If you want, the shower is down the hall. It’s been a rough couple of days. It might help take some off your edge off.” I thanked him, and went down the hallway as instructed.

The bathroom was very nice, but also very cold. I made my way over to the tub and ran some hot water. Once the tub was halfway full with plenty of bubbles, I went to take my clothes off. My eyes caught a glimpse of my reflection before I even raised my shirt up. Y/c eyes meeting y/c eyes. They didn’t look the same as they did a few days ago. Warm and full of hope for the future to come. Now, they looked hardened and full of dread. Almost completely red from the tears and dried up mascara. My cheeks were stained with tears. Hair was matted down and oily.  My expression unreadable.

“Well, you got what you wanted didn’t you! You wanted something different! You said you felt like you were meant for more! You wanted to get away! You wanted to be free!” the girl in the mirror yelled at me.

More tears fell from my eyes. Misery and grief taking over me.

“This is not what I wanted. This not what I meant. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt.” I quietly sobbed to myself.

“This is all your fault! You’re the reason why your family is dead! You’re the reason why the Library burned down! You’re the reason why your mom and John couldn’t be happy! Because your mom had to raise you! She gave up the love of her life to raise her pathetic daughter, who ended up getting her killed! You killed Nevaeh! Your beautiful, little, 6 year old sister! She loved you so much! You meant the world to her and you watched her die in your arms! You should’ve been the one lying on the floor covered in blood! Not them!” spat my reflection.

“It should have been me!” responding to her, my sobs getting louder.

You think you can become a hunter? Are you kidding me?! You don’t even know how to make a fist properly, let alone shoot a gun. You’ll just be dead weight to those boys. You don’t have what it takes. If they go on a hunt with you, they will be dead in the first 5 minutes trying to save your ass. You’ll just drag them down. Just like you did your family” she smirked.

Rage started to cloud over my grief. I saw her smirking and couldn’t take it anymore. I punched the center of the mirror with my fist. It still stayed in tack. Getting even angrier, I punched it until my knuckles started to bleed. Cracking than finally shattering at my last punch.

I dropped down to my knees as I let my loud sobs consume me. I curled up in the fetal position and just let it all out. My knuckles started turning white, as blood trickled down my arm at an alarming rate. I didn’t care. I just wanted my family back.

A couple seconds later, I heard the door being kicked in, but I didn’t even budge. I just laid there. Dean came in and concern was written all over his face. He bent down and hovered over me, examining my arm. He reached for the tweezers, while Sam and Cas came through the door. Worry in their expression, the knelt down to Dean’s stance as he pulled out all the glass that lodged into my fist.

Sam gently carded his fingers through my hair and kept whispering,

“Everything’s going to be ok. Shhh. Y/n, we got you.”

I couldn’t really make out what Castiel said. The only thing I heard was something about “Healing her”. Dean just told him to wait until he got the glass out.

My thoughts were still haunting me as they carried on with conversation. Maybe my reflection was right. That I’m not cut out for this hunting business.

“How will I ever be able to track my family’s killer when I can’t even make a fist?”

“How will I ever be able to help Sam and Dean when I can’t even help myself?”

“How will I ever be able be able to save people, when I can’t even save myself?”

@sisterwinchesterwriter @nothin-after-79 @winchesters-favorite-girl @jude-winchester-at-your-service @deevvoon @chrisevansthedoritobastard @not-moose-one-shots @fanboyswhereare-you @vvinch3st3r @straightasdeanwinchester @emwinchester1

As the Radio Plays - Part 3

Pairing: Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader


Summary: You regret going home.

Warnings: Cursing, because we all know I have a potty mouth.


A/N: I don’t even know what this is anymore, what I actual fuck Cass why. This took me longer than usual (lol work kicked my ass for a bit jfc my bad). ANYWAY Becca is responsible for my descent into insanity and I LOVE HER FOR IT so shout-out to my murderer for influencing me so much (if you find the ref, kudos to you my darlings!!) Also, shout-out to y'all because you guys are the reason why I’m still writing. Thank you for your support and love. My heart swells at the thought of you guys. I love you all endlessly.


So you let the cat out of the bag.

It earned you a sleepless night spent drowning in an ocean of your tears, a scratchy throat from sobbing so hard for so long, and drenched bedsheets because you couldn’t help but fall apart.

And rightfully so.

It was your biggest nightmare, coming across the man who’d left you on what was supposed to be the best day of your life. Not only that, but you told him the one thing you didn’t want to bring back. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to say it, but telling him about the one part of him that you were carrying and nurturing was gone only made it even more of a reality– a reality with which you didn’t want to come to terms.

Your sobs turned into little hiccups sometime early morning, and you rubbed your swollen eyes as you walked downstairs and into the kitchen in search of water or liquor (or poison), something that would either quench you or soothe you (or kill you). To your chagrin, you found water first.

“Hey bug,” your father greeted sleepily, eyes half-closed to shield himself from the brightness of the kitchen lights. “What are you doing up so early?”

It hadn’t occurred to you that it was hardly four in the morning, and you probably shouldn’t have made so much noise while trying to accomplish such a menial task.

“Thirsty,” you replied with a shrug, trying to delay needing to sniffle so that your dad didn’t feel the need to make you open up. Talking about last night’s ordeal would only make matters worse. “Water.”

He joined you in the kitchen and draped his arm around your shoulders. “It’s really good to have you back, you know. I was afraid you’d never come back.”

You couldn’t help but scoff because that was currently your biggest regret, but you covered it up with a coughing fit, hoping it was enough to convince him.

“I don’t know how you feel, but I’m sure it’s hard for you to be here,” he said softly, holding you close to his chest. “I’m really glad you’re home, bug.”

“Yeah,” you squeaked. It was the only thing you could say.

“I’m gonna go back to bed, alright? Holler if you need me.” He gently placed a kiss on the crown of your head and rubbed his hand back and forth along your shoulder before letting you go, trekking back up the stairs. “Go get some rest.”

All you did was nod at him, forcing a smile on your face as you watched him leave your line of vision.

You didn’t get some rest though. Instead, you spent the next two and a half hours pacing all around your house, going up and down the stairs, circling the living room, logging miles around the dining room table. Doing this was the only way you could get your blood flowing again without having to venture back outside where your shadows would come back to haunt you once more. This was safe. This was where you decided to recuperate for the day.

“Y/N?” your mother called out to you from the kitchen. She peeked out from the window from behind the kitchen sink, watching you take step upon step on the already imprinted carpet. “Do you mind picking up Ava from your brother’s? Jess has to work, and Eli’s sick, so they don’t want her to catch it since she’s still so little, and you’re staying home all day, right? I have to leave for work soon. Could you just bring her back here and watch her for the day?”

You froze and looked at your mom like a deer caught in headlights.

When she realized her mistake, her expression changed and she ran over to hug you.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry…” She started as she smoothed your hair.

“No, it’s okay, I can watch her, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I’ll call in sick, it’s okay.”

“I’ll be fine,” you managed, more so trying to convince yourself than your mother that you’d be alright. “Go to work, Mom.”

She pulled away to look at you in an attempt to read your face.

“Mom, it’s fine. It was… a long time ago.”

You’d been uneasy around infants since the miscarriage, all of them reminding you of what could’ve been– what should have been. When your sister-in-law got pregnant with your niece, everyone kept it from you in fear that you would spiral downward again. And when you’d gotten word from your blabbermouth sister, you fell back down into the rabbit hole and your poisons kept you company again, nearly costing you your starring role after you’d shown up drunk to rehearsal multiple times.

Never before have you regretted such a decision, but you had to come to terms with coming home. You knew this was part of the entire ordeal, and it was just all a matter of time when you would finally let yourself heal properly instead of beating around the bush.

Once you’d gotten dressed, you made your way out the door, only to be startled when you saw someone sitting on the front steps of your home, and he turned around at the sound of the door opening.

He was still dressed in last night’s clothes, his eyes even more sunken than you remembered. You gawked at him, unsure of whether or not you had the ability to speak.

Finally, you took a breath and huffed out words. “For the love of God, please just leave–”

“Y/N,” he whispered as he stood up, dusting himself off. “Please let me–”

“Lin, I don’t have time for this, go home.” Your tone was tired and curt, and you tried to sound as emotionless as possible.

He took a step forward and put out a hand to stop you from leaving, nearly tripping over a box that sat next to his feet.

“Please, just give me a minute,” he pleaded with you. “And if you never wanna see me again after this, then…. then I’ll let you go forever.” Lin’s voice was strained, almost as if he was choking back sobs.

“Go home, Lin,” you replied sternly, and you resisted and shook your head, walking past him as you avoided making any eye contact with his wet eyes. And even as you heard him beg you to stay, you quickly hailed a cab and wordlessly hopped into it, letting it whisk you away to your brother’s place somewhere in Midtown.

Before you knew it, you were sitting in the backseat of the taxi again, this time with a fussy infant that wanted nothing to do with her carseat.

Every time you looked at your little niece, your stomach knotted and your breath hitched, your heart missing a beat with every second you spent with your eyes locked on her. But she required attention and you didn’t quite know what to do.

You grabbed the bottle from her baby bag and tried to feed her, and when that didn’t work, you tried to figure out if she needed changing, and eventually, you gave up, letting her scream for almost the entirety of the way back to your home (which thankfully only took twenty minutes because you were positive the cab driver was sick and tired of her screaming so he did everything in his power to speed through traffic) as you sat next to her in a pool of your own tears.

After what seemed like an eternity, your journey came to an end and you were finally home. With the little banshee in her carrier, you picked it up and placed it in the crook of your arm with the baby bag slung on your opposite shoulder, letting them hang there as you handed the cabbie the money for the fare (plus hefty tip for having endured the whole ride with the screeching human). You looked down at Ava before grabbing your house keys and you turned on your heel to head inside.

He was still there, sitting on the front steps.

“Let me help you,” he offered as he stood up, reaching for the baby carrier.

“I told you go to home,” you muttered, whizzing right past him and disregarding his help.

“Babe, please, I just wanna talk.”

You were already fed up after having to sit with a screaming infant, and now you had to deal with your ex-fiancé trying to discuss the past with you.

“Just leave already, Lin! We have nothing to talk about!” After struggling to open the door with everything still on your person, you finally got it to open and walked inside despite him trying to follow you. “Leave!”

Your attempt to slam the door in his face was in vain because his hand kept it from closing all the way.

“Y/N! Please, hear me out!” He exclaimed as he stepped foot into your home, clutching the box in his arm.

“I don’t have time for this! I already have to deal with her wailing, don’t add more on my plate.” You undid the buckles on your niece’s carrier and took her out, cradling her to try to get her to stop.

Lin closed the door and let out an exasperated sigh. “Please…”

Tears of sheer frustration were already spilling and you just ignored him as you attempted to soothe Ava (and yourself).

He stood next to you, just as flustered, and sighed.

“Let me hold her,” he whispered, putting the box down on the couch.

At first, you refused, letting his words go in one ear and out the other, but after thirty more seconds of crying, you gave up and willingly handed her over, already knowing you were in over your head.

“I got you, I got you, it’s okay,” he murmured into Ava’s ear as he rocked her.

You simply walked away and let him deal with it, thinking that your mother was right all along. This wasn’t okay. You weren’t fine. You were in over your head. With your face buried in your hands, sobs wracked your body as you sat along the kitchen island, crying out of frustration, weeping out of heartbreak, bawling out of hopelessness.

After a few minutes, your niece was silent and Lin joined you in the kitchen, holding her in his arms, looking down at her with the faintest smile on his face.

The image of him gently bouncing up and down with a baby cradled against his chest only made matters worse. This could’ve been the life you had if the past had never happened. You could’ve woken up to him holding your child, kissing her forehead, holding her tiny hands, watching her in awe. Your life could’ve been filled with moments like this.

“She was just angry ‘cause she was tired,” he told you softly, not taking his eyes off her. “Taxis aren’t my favorite either, it’s okay.”

You swallowed hard and nodded without a word on your tongue, watching him as he stood across the island from you.

The two of you stayed like that for a bit, neither of you daring not move for fear she would start up again.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of silence, you found the courage to speak up.

“Why are you here, Lin?”

He lifted his eyes to meet your gaze and he let out a deep breath. “I just… I wanted to…”

Ava stirred a little bit and both of you froze for a beat before he got back to bouncing again.

“Can we go back to the living room?” He asked quietly. “I’m gonna put her back in her carrier so we don’t disturb her again.”

You followed him into the living room and took a seat on the sofa, watching as he kneeled down to place her gently in her carrier before rocking it a little to ensure she stayed asleep. Your heart twisted in pain.

Without thinking, you reached for the box he had laid on the couch when he first arrived, and you were suddenly hit with a wave of emotions. It was his treasure box, the one you’d filled with your commentary for the happy memories both of you shared, the one that matched yours.

You opened it up and stared at the items for a moment, letting your mind catch up with your heart. Your fingers picked up a tattered ‘Get Well Soon’ card, and you brushed your fingertips against the embossed surface before opening it up.

‘Who knew you were so needy? Doesn’t matter, I still love you… even though your fever dreams consist of you shouting for help at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night. I will always be here to bring you back to reality.’

That week was unforgettable. He was miserable and stuck in bed as the biggest mess you’ve seen, and yet somehow, your heart swelled with adoration. Every time his adenoidal voice called out to you, you were there in an instant, not once failing to do whatever he needed you to do. Whether it was getting him a glass of water or emptying out the trash he’d used to puke, you never once complained.

Your eyes caught sight of a picture of the two of you at the skating rink, both of you dressed in winter coats, your gloved hand on his cheek and his arm around your waist as your lips met his for a kiss.

‘Happy Valentine’s day, my love! I adore you. Everyone says Cupid is stupid, but I’d gladly beg to differ. And even if the phrase is true, I’ll still always be here to prove them otherwise.’

Shuffling through the countless memories, you grabbed a little fake mistletoe ornament and played with it in your hand as you read the note you’d written attached to its string.

‘Mariah Carey knows what’s up. All I want for Christmas is you, and that would always be enough. I’ll always be here to kiss you under the mistletoe. Je t'aime, mon coeur!’

“That’s one of my favorites,” he murmured as he joined you on the sofa, taking one of your hands in his. He picked up the ornament resting in your open palm and held it up above both of you, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips.

You returned the kiss, allowing it to bring back the memories you’d tried your hardest to push away, letting your heart feel the love you’d buried. For a moment, you let go of the heartache that was still eating you alive, giving yourself a beat of normalcy.

But nothing about this was normal. You were locking lips with the man who’d caused your downfall, and upon that realization, you pulled away, disgusted with yourself for believing this was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke. “I just… miss you.”

“That’s your own fault,” you answered coldly. “It was your choice.”

“I did it for you.”

“Oh gee, thanks then. Thanks for making a fool of me. Thanks for all of your empty promises.”

“Y/N, please don’t be this way…”

“Can you blame me? You said it yourself. You wanted to see what else life had in store for you. You thought life had bigger opportunities. And meanwhile, I’ve spent every waking moment thinking of what was supposed to be, what should’ve been, what we had in store.”

“I… Listen to me, please,” he said. “I haven’t spent a single day without thinking of you. I haven’t lived each second of the day without wondering what I could’ve been. And I haven’t spent a day without going through the things you put into this box. I can’t go a full twenty-four hours without regretting my decision.”

“So you came here to tell me this? What’s the point?” You asked, your eyes brimming with the tears that never seemed to run out.

“Because this… this was fate!” He cried out in reply, startling your niece out of her sleep. “Shit, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

You sat there as he rocked the carrier with his foot, shushing her back to sleep but ultimately failing. It wasn’t until Ava started thrashing about a few minutes later that you got up and rummaged through her baby bag in search of what she might need, settling on the pacifier.

“Try this,” you told him defeatedly, handing it to him as you held the bag in your hand and brought it back to your spot on the couch.

“No, not working, she’s spitting it out. Maybe she’s hungry?”

“Here’s her bottle.” You looked at him as he tried to feed her, but saw that she just wasn’t having it, so you approached her and carefully picked her up, trying to see if she needed a change.

It was hopeless. You didn’t know what to look for, what her behavior was indicating, what her incessant shrieks were telling you. After your countless attempts at trying to crack the code, you were already more than ready to bury yourself alive.

Lin was running around like a chicken with its head cut off as he endlessly tried to soothe her by changing her, trying to feed her once again, helplessly attempting to get her back to sleep.

With Ava in your arms, you rocked her back and forth as he followed right behind you, both of you doing your fair share of shushing between exasperated sighs. You brought her up the stairs and into your bedroom with Lin just a step behind. Placing the screeching infant on your bed, you sat next to her and looked down at her frantically, your hands trembling out of exhaustion and frustration.

“Look at the way the moon behaves,” Lin began to sing softly as he took a seat on the other side of your niece. “Look at the way she paints a silver ribbon on the waves. One thing I’ve learned and I’ll share with you, nothing is too wonderful to be true.”

You watched in awe as Ava’s cries grew quieter and quieter with every word that fell from his lips, not sure if you were relieved that it was working or relieved that he was there with you.

“Each moment opens like a flower,” he continued as she too, gazed at him. “The age of miracles comes every hour on the hour.” His voice faltered and he cocked his head to the side, a look of confusion growing on his face.

“Turn any corner, there’s something new,” you continued, and Lin looked at you with a faint grin. “And nothing is too wonderful to be true.”

Both of you repositioned yourselves around Ava, lying down comfortably on the bed with the little one between both of you, your hand resting gently on her tiny tummy. He propped his head up on his elbow as the two of you continued the song in unison at first, then adding harmony.

“If I’m perceived, to be naive, to be the way I am, let people say I am a silly goof. Is life a plateful? Am I grateful? Every day I am. It’s an amazing world in which we live, and I’ve got living proof. Look at the way the moon behaves, look at the way she paints a silver ribbon on the waves…”

You couldn’t sing the end of the song. Your breath hitched as your tears inevitably began to fall.

Lin continued it softly, his melody akin to a whisper as he brought his attention to you, his gaze piercing your own. “Leading directly to me and you… Nothing is too wonderful to be true.”

Ava was now making little sounds, cooing at both of you, and both you and Lin erupted into a fit of laughter, pleased that the wailing infant had finally ceased, amazed that the two of you had accomplished what seemed to be impossible, mesmerized by the joint effort that ultimately made everyone happy.

“Go team!” He exclaimed with his signature silly grin, raising a hand to offer you a high five.

You immediately met his hand and gave it a soft smack, the smile on your face unwavering despite the wetness on your cheeks. “Nice work.”

Between the two of you, Ava began to giggle and you found yourself chuckling along with her, watching as Lin leaned down to shower her cheeks with little kisses. You soon joined him in the love fest and both of you spent the next few hours overdramatically babbling right back at your niece, feeding her, bouncing her up and down, taking turns holding her.

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Lin asked her enthusiastically as she let out a yawn, and he took her outstretched hand in his own.

The image of the old love of your life being the most perfect caretaker made your heart swell. This is how life could’ve been.

After singing her back to sleep, (I don’t think ‘La Vie Boheme’ is an appropriate song for an infant– Don’t pay attention to her, Ava, it’s not our fault he can’t hold an erection on the high holy days…) the two of you collapsed next to each other on the sofa with sighs of relief.

“Whew, that was exhausting,” you said under your breath, throwing your head back with a grunt.

“But I had fun,” he added softly. “Imagine if we got to do that every day?”

And just like that, the fun was over.

You closed your eyes and shook your head, bracing yourself for the misery that was threatening to eat you alive.

Silence fell upon you and for a long moment, neither of you spoke a word.

“We can do it, ” Lin spoke, breaking the deafening quiet. “We could do this every day. I want to do this with you every day for the rest of my life.”

“No,” you breathed in reply, opening your eyes to stare up at the ceiling before bringing your gaze back to his. “It’s done. You made your decision six years ago. Maybe… maybe it was meant to be like this.”

“Y/N, every day since that fucking dumb mistake I made,I wrote a letter to you, praying every single day for the past six years that fate would bring you back to me and now… look at us! You’re back! And I’m here! And I just…”

You were already set in your decision. He’d made his choice, now it was only right that you made yours. Seasons had already brought new songs to sing, and it was time to find a new anthem.

“I can’t live the rest of my life without you,” he murmured as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. “Please, I’m sorry, give me another chance. I love you so much, baby, I never stopped loving you.”

Your heart was racing towards the finish line, its arms wide open, just waiting to break through the tape to make its way to victory.

“Lin, I can’t leave myself at the mercy of fate. I can’t let you back into my life without spending every second wondering when you’ll want to leave again.”

“I promise I won’t leave, I promise…”

“I just don’t know that for sure, Lin. I can’t let you hurt me again. This… Maybe this wasn’t meant to be.”

“Please don’t let me live without you,” he begged as he pulled away, placing both hands on your shoulders, his eyes gazing deeply into yours. His lips quickly pressed against your own and he kissed you hard. “Tell me that doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“I-I think you should go.” You broke away from him and stood up, unable to look at anything besides the ground.

He got up to his feet and stood before you wordlessly, waiting for you to say something in reply.

But you didn’t. Instead, you picked up his treasure box and put it in his hands, escorting him out the door.

When the door clicked shut, you propped your back against it and broke down, coming to terms with the fact that a happy ending just wasn’t meant to be for the two of you.

You had one more part for the storybook, one more road that you could’ve taken, one more thing that used to have your heart. It was just one more place in your memory that you wished with every single part of you that you could go back to the very beginning, to start it all again.

But it was impossible. It was over. The chapter was done.