because my friends think i live on carrots to lose weight

This is not a success story

As I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, somewhere downtown Detroit, with a coffee to my right, a salad on its way to me, and a sweaty CrossFit session behind me this morning, let me share my candid thoughts with you.

Weight loss is hard. I actually forgot that little fact a few weeks back when I called my sister to declare I had re-signed up for My Firtness Pal; it had been two days and I saw my weight drop, and I remember thinking this will be easy.

It is not. 

I had been in Detroit for just over a month, and with the exception of mentally thinking about trying to lose weight, I had put no actual conscious effort into doing so. It was the usual: just wishing and hoping and obsessing, but not actually changing any of my habits.  Sure, I had signed up for CrossFit, but to say I was “half-assing” it would have been over stating it.

The mental toll of watching my weight increase was exhausting.  I had told myself when I arrived in this new city I’d have a fresh start to my weight loss voyage, but a month had passed and that wasn’t the case.  Then at some ungodly hour one morning, I wrote a very honest letter to myself; there’s something about writing that sets things in stone for me.  I can tell myself something 302 times, but if I don’t commit those thoughts to written words, I’m almost guaranteed to forget them the next morning.  I won’t go into the details of the letter, but I woke up the next morning ready to officially commit to something I so desperately wanted.

That was just over a month ago, and I have been amazed at how that letter somehow switched a light on from within. 

Exercise:

Since then I have been to CrossFit four or times each week. It’s been humbling getting back into it.  A 35lb bar is all I can handle right now. I’m the slowest by far in all the workouts, and the majority of the movements I have to modify.  

I am fortunate that a lot of the movements and my techniques from doing CrossFit in Melbourne were like riding a bike. And my new Coach here is exceptional.  This CrossFit focusses on quality over quantity (often the area where CrossFit gets a lot of criticism) and I am definitely thankful for that (I never really found a CrossFit I liked in Toronto because I thought all the coaches didn’t focus on technique).

If you follow along on my Snapchat you’ll already know this, but I’ve even been getting my ass up for the 6am or 7am CrossFit sessions. Last week I made it to FIVE early morning sessions and got a glimpse into life as if I was a morning person.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it got sooooo much easier each day, and I had significantly better days when I did exercise in the morning. 

I live in perpetual muscle pain these days, but it’s a good happy pain; one I missed. 

Food

As we all know, you can’t out exercise a bad diet, and thus on that fateful letter-writing night, I decided to focus on calorie counting. Calories in, must be less than calories out.  I set my goal to “1 pound a week loss” which landed me at 1,800 calories a day.  Also making this the most generous number of calories I’ve ever aimed to hit.  (In my younger stupider days I’d always aim for 1200/1300 a day).  

I bought a little kitchen scale and hit the ground running. I measured and tracked everything. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  From the oil on my roasted veggies in the evenings, to milk in my coffee, everything was added to the My Fitness Pal app. I quickly got into the routine of it too, I became more conscious of labels in stores, and more aware of how quickly calories can add up.

One thing I didn’t expect from calorie counting, but am absolutely over the moon about, is how it released me from mentally beating myself up throughout the day.  I learned from counting calories that I wasn’t eating that badly before, but mentally I thought I was.  

If I ate a Turkey Tom Jimmy John’s sandwich (for Canadian friends, it’s like Subway but more delicious) for lunch (because it was free at the Lunch n’ Learn at work, let’s say) I would be so angry at myself the rest of the day, and think I completely (pardon my french) fucked up my diet that day, which in turn would lead to negative thoughts and not caring about dinner that evening, or worse, trying to hardly eat anything for dinner. 

From counting calories I saw that having that Jimmy John’s sandwich for 520 calories was a lot, true, however also completely manageable and normal and I could still easily end my day without going over my allowed calorie intake.  A huge amount of mental stress has been lifted from counting calories, and I saw very blatantly how negative I had been previously to myself for no reason at all.

I counted the tomatoes and broccoli and cauliflower and onions and asparagus too, and quickly saw how my current weight is where it’s at in large part because of healthy food. Portions! Portions! Portions! And my portions of healthy food were huge. With the oil on my roasted veggies (carrots / sprouts / asparagus / onions / etc) and half a sweet potato sprinkled with some feta cheese and a breast of chicken on the side, my dinner could and would get to around 600 calories. Yikes. And this makes sense. As I don’t eat McDonalds or candy or go through tubs of ice-cream. I am over weight because of portions. HEALTHY portions. 

Weight

This post is not a post about my success.  

Over the past four weeks my weight has been up and down and up and down and overall  I have stayed the same. It’s incredibly frustrating. I am trying really hard. I also have a smart scale which shows no Fat % loss, which busts the muscle weighs more than fat theory. 

My jeans, however, are fitting looser, but I also feel like they need a wash…  I tried on a dress yesterday which didn’t fit before Christmas, and said dress? Still does not fit.  I believe I only went over my calorie intake once, and yet here I sit, seeing no results. 

So Why

I made a Snapchat story a few days back on how frustrated I am, and a few of you kind people wrote back: 

Don’t count calories, look at macros
You’re now in your 30s. This is life. 
Eat the majority of calories in the morning
Eat more. Are you adding calories for CrossFit?
Do the Whole 30; it works
You have to wait longer. At least six weeks
8 hours of sleep, more water. 

Looking at the above list there is certainly room for improvement. I don’t pay attention to macros, I do eat the majority of my calories in the evening (although I really think a calorie is a calorie to your body, no matter when you eat it), I do not add my CrossFit calories to MFP (It would be about 600 extra calories a day! Which I think is nutty), and I could definitely drink more water.   I also side-eye Whole 30, as I don’t want a “diet,” but more of a lifestyle change; truthfully, I’m also nervous of binging on a “diet.”

I am working at being better at all of the above. Except, of course, I can’t reduce my age.  I remember people telling me it would get harder, but like with everything else (skin and cancer and terrible things) it won’t happen to me. I think it has.  

But. 

But I am not going to give up, because regardless of the number between my toes each morning, working out and eating better has helped my mental state a lot.  I am more confident, putting effort into dressing better each morning, and not beating myself up any more. 

So yes. There that all is. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed there’ll be some scale or fat percentage loss movement. Stay tuned! 

anonymous asked:

Hey man, your story was super inspiring and I identify with it a lot. I've been struggling with weight issues, as well as anxiety and depression and would really like to make a lifestyle change like the one you made. I'm currently at around the same weight you were when you first started. My question is, what did your workouts entail when you first started? How did you get a good idea of, "okay this shows some serious results" or whatever lol.

Thanks man! First of all, I love the fact that you called it a lifestyle change - because that’s what it is. That’s really great to hear you say that, because I think people give up when they don’t see instant results. Calling it a lifestyle change shows that you’re in the right frame of mind. And friend, there is NOTHING more important to this entire process than being in the right frame of mind. That’s actually the whole trick. 

I didn’t start with working out. I started with eating better. That’s really the most important thing, and the hardest thing, because it requires you to be constantly vigilant. It’s also the easiest thing, because it is something you can start on right now, and is something you have complete control over. You also have no excuses like being tired or not having enough time.

Here’s the first thing you should do: Read.

I bought and read “Nutrition for Dummies”, and I joined & read the Fitness Subreddit. Read up on nutrition and learn what your body does with food. I’m not going to tell you what to eat, because everybody’s different - but you know what’s garbage. Get rid of it all. If you live alone, this will be easy: Throw it away or donate it. Then eat a big (healthy) meal, and go shopping. ONLY BUY STUFF THAT’S HEALTHY. This will be easier if you go shopping when you’re full. One of the things that helped me eat healthy was to pit my laziness against my gluttony: I only filled my house with healthy food, so I was hungry, I was too lazy to leave my house, so I ended up snacking on apples and carrots and shit by default. Do this. It works.

The second thing: Get lots of sleep. Being well rested will give you better willpower. 

The third thing: Be prepared. Always have healthy food options at the ready, so you’re not forced to eat the pizza your office orders when it’s somebody’s birthday. Think ahead: If you’re meeting somebody at a restaurant for dinner, Google the menu and decide what you want before you go, so when you’re there you’re not forced to make a game time decision that might be unhealthy. Plan your eating life like you’re a fucking assassin preparing a hit; know all the angles and options and have a plan. Then have a backup plan. Then execute it.

Become the person who is the weird eater. Just accept the fact that you will eat differently from your friends. I always have like 15 different things when I order; no cheese, no sauce, dressing on the side - restaurants will accommodate you, don’t worry. And also remember: You can make a meal out of sides. One of my favorite tricks at a place that seems totally unhealthy is to get two side orders of vegetables (no weird sauces and no butter, if possible), and one or two grilled chicken breasts. Boom!

What’s that? You’re on a road trip and the van is only stopping at McDonald’s? No problem: get two grilled chicken sandwiches, extra lettuce & tomato, no mayo - throw away the buns and you’ve got a fairly healthy meal! See what I’m talking about? FOOD ASSASSIN. You can find healthy weapons in any menu.

Fourth: Be patient. Be persistent. You’re changing your life.

Once I was eating fairly healthy, I started counting calories and cutting back on things. I did this slowly (I did ALL of this slowly. You are not going to see instant results. But fucking do it anyway). I made food a game, and used that game to distract myself: What am I going to eat today? At first, you are just going to start feeling better, but then you’ll start dropping pounds.

That’s the biggest thing I learned: Losing weight is NOT about working out. It’s about eating right. Eating right loses you the weight, and working out gets you the muscles. 

It’s weird; every Nike or Gatorade commercial shows super in shape motherfuckers doing all this cool insane shit; running with parachutes, dunking basketballs, flipping up huge tires - all of that is great, but if they wanted to make commercials that were actually about getting in shape, they’d all be commercials with people eating vegetables and cooking their own food and washing fruit and shit. I guess that doesn’t look as cool - but eating right is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more important than working out. It’s not as sexy, but trust me: Not eating a bag of Cheetios is about ten thousand times harder than three sets of deadlifts. 

Finally, to actually answer your question, after about 6 or 7 months of eating better, I joined the gym (yes, it was that long before I actually started working out). At first, I couldn’t really do anything in the gym. All I could do was 10 minutes on an elliptical, twice a week. Yes, you read that right: I would do ten minutes, almost fucking throw up, and then call it a day.

But here’s a trick I used: I told myself I’m only allowed to work out for ten minutes. NO MORE. If I got on the elliptical and wasted three minutes fucking with my headphones? Well, fuck you: You still have to leave after ten, so today you only got to work out for 7 minutes. You’ll have to come back another day if you want a full ten.

Setting up the “you only GET to work out for 10 mins” attitude did two things for me: It let me off the hook so I didn’t feel guilty for not working out for longer, and it made me go hard for ten minutes. After all, if I can ONLY be there for ten minutes, and I HAVE to leave after ten, then let’s make those ten something I can be proud of, right? Right! And along those same lines, I would leave after ten minutes feeling proud I accomplished what I set out to do. I was training my brain to think of the gym as a happy place that made me feel proud of myself. This is what you need to do. The gym is not a place of punishment - it’s a place where you are going to make yourself feel better. It is the cocoon in which you will wrap yourself and come out transformed. But you need to train your brain to think that way.

After a month, I would actually get upset that I had to leave after ten mins. That’s when I was ready to bump up to twenty minutes. But I then HAD to leave after twenty. No exceptions.

After a few months of that, I bumped it up again. And again. And by then, I was loving the gym. You will, too. Keep after it. It’s a lifestyle change. You are going to become a different person, and that is going to take time.

Just remember, it is SUPER important when you start working out to A.) Not push yourself too hard so working out doesn’t become something monumental you dread, and B.) to recognize when you do a good job and to be proud of that. Don’t get down on yourself for failing. I fail all the fucking time. Just go back and do it again. Consistency above all else. Every workout is not going to be amazing, but keep at it. CONSISTENCY. ABOVE. ALL. ELSE. 

And the days you absolutely, positively, 100% cannot get up the strength to go to the gym… Go to the gym. Just go. The days you want it least are the days you need it most. A 5 minute workout is better than no workout at all.

Good luck. Keep me updated on your progress, and hit me up with any other questions you have. You can do this, baby. 

Now get after it.

Okay so idk I always get questions on if I’ve lost weight/how I’m losing weight and to be honest it’s always been an on and off thing for like 4 years and honestly I wouldn’t say it’s me losing weight it’s just me trying to be healthier and in doing so I’ve lost weight, which is a goal just because I know I’m not at a weight I like but I can live with that either way that’s not with this is about lets get down to it.

This is also kinda long and all over the place even though I rly tried to make it organized but it was sO HARD so if you have any questions or are confused about anything pls message me I’ll try to clear it up :~)

Keep reading

TBBT: The Property Division Collision (10x10)

If you haven’t watched, SPOILERS ahead.

I didn’t review the previous episode (The Geology Elevation) and was tempted not to review this one either. Don’t get me wrong, I liked them. They had funny lines. But I didn’t love them. To me: they just “lacked” something in the writing. Here are the moments that I enjoyed or that stood out to me:

1. Opening scene:

My heart melted with my sweet babies. How sweet it was to see Amy dicing tomatoes and putting them in the pot while Sheldon sat on the sofa and chatted with her. Sheldon seems so comfortable with Amy and Amy is just glowing. They have come a long way and I love it!

Also, I agree with Sheldon. The couch should be on the curbside. It’s hideous along with all the tropical hotel furniture and drapes. 

2.  Penny and Amy’s painting. 

Need I say more? It was great to see it back and Penny’s face, lol!!! It made me laugh when it was first shown on season 5 and it’s really the gift that keeps giving.

3. Division of Sheldon and Leonard’s stuff:

Did anyone else catch Sheldon’s “our apartment is really shaping up” remark and isn’t it sweet that he is looking for “housewarming gifts”?

But, here comes some of the stuff that irks me about this episode and the previous one; Selfish Sheldon and Jealous Sheldon. Now, to be fair I know Sheldon can be egocentrical. However, I’m not buying the storylines. They feel forced to me and I feel the writers could have had Selfish and Jealous Sheldon with a justifiable storyline. IMO it felt kinda forced and there just to have a plot in an otherwise kinda of flat episode. I don’t mind the characters arguing or selfish Sheldon. It’s just that it has to click or it will feel kinda of gratuitous or even out of character. 

Then to irk me more, what is with Leonard’s attitude? I thought he couldn’t wait to be rid of Sheldon and his antics and here he has a chance and he gets all childish like. Out of all the things he could have asked for, the flag. Really Leonard? You know how much Sheldon loves flags. And Sheldon designed it! It’s the apartment flag (Sheldon’s apartment). It was there in his apartment before Leonard moved in. Doesn’t add up.  I felt the same feel with The Viewing Party Combustion. (Please don’t hate, just my opinion).

Maybe it’s just because brings to mind again the freaking question of why in the world Amy and Sheldon are in Penny’s apartment while Leonard and Penny are in Sheldon’s. It just doesn’t make sense to me. 

I did like that Sheldon left but took Amy with him. “Come along Amy”.

*Sorry for the minor rant. Don’t mean to offend anyone. Love the show but sometimes the writers kill me.

5. Leonard and the flag toga:

Regardless of my issues with this episode, credit where is due… Johnny Galecki! He is a genius with scenes like these. (Dancing in his underwear and him in the s&m outfit this season jump to mind. And let’s not forget the naughty carrot last season.) 

He nailed the flag toga making it eerie and creepy. Sheldon was about to jump out of his skin! And when he removed his underwear, I lost it! LOL!!! 

Easy peasy and oh so breezy!

4. Team Baby:

I love Stuart. That being said, it seems weird having Stuart moving back in specially after Howard and Bernie had such a hard time living with him  and getting him to move out before. It doesn’t really make sense either. And if Stuart and Raj are such great friends and single, why not just ask Raj to crash at his place? Is this another writers issue? Can’t they find other story line for these very talented guys and awesome characters? 

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed their banter. There were some hilarious lines between the two. Poor Raj didn’t know what to do with himself. He was losing the identity he has build for himself during Bernie’s pregnancy to have it stripped away by Stuart suddenly. Then Stuart is just so grateful he feels obligated. And these guys are so lovable and sweet. Bernie is lucky to have them. So is Howard because right now they almost seem to be doing more for the baby and Bernir than Howard is. Which leads me to the next thing.

5. Howard’s Role:

Bernadette: Stuart you cooked:

Howard: How did you know it wasn’t me?

Bernadette: There is only 3 people in this house and you’d still be my 5th guess?

Okay Horward, you need to man up. This isn’t the first time people around you have had to carry your weight, dude. What’s up with that? I hope the writers don’t screw up with Howard as a father too. Bernie needs a “Batman”. I’m excited Bernie is having the baby and look forward to seeing them both with this storyline. There is a lot to be explored with it and I hope TPTB do it justice.

6. The Guest:

I enjoyed Theodore (Christopher Lloyd) very much. His few lines were awesome! Such a “hippy dippy” kind of character.

*  “Well, if we are rubbing genitals on things, that’s where I shine!” 

Can we see him again, please?

7. Favorite scene…

From the moment Sheldon opened the door to tend to an angry Leonard:

“Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut”

(Yes baby, you’re a donut.) Can we say arm and chest porn here? Yum!

The “burns” that followed were so funny, had me rotf! The name of Leonard’s next book anyone? Hahaha

And of course, this set up the most adorable seconds of TV EVER!!!!!: 

(gif credit: @platypus-quacks-too)

This made me smile and smile and smile. Awww! Such a sweet moment. Amy deserved to hear that. Because she is precious. Squeal!!! And he thinks she is cute! (We knew that BUT… asdfkjlasdjfiojh) ;) Shamy feels all the way!!!


In summary, not a bad episode. It had some lol moments and great one liners but it something in the writing could have been better.

Twue Love

Elsanna Week, Day 3: Classic Romantic Movie

She didn’t come for her.  Tears welled in her eyes and she groped for the small hidden dagger in her jewelry box.  She stared at it before pulling the sheath off.  As the tip pointed to her bosom, she closed her eyes and prayed that she would join her beloved soon.

“There’s a shortage of freckled breasts in this world.  It would be a pity to damage yours.”

Her eyes flicked open, wide with surprise and she turned towards the source of that sweet voice.  She flung the dagger away as she rushed to that slim figure on the bed.  "Oh, Elsely!“

Fierce kisses covered her beloved’s bruised face.  Hansperdinck lied.  Her Elsely was alive.

"Gently,” murmured Elsely.

Instead, she renewed her kisses with more fervor, wrapping her arms around her neck and lifting Elsely slightly.

“Gent…ly…” said Elsely, with a pleading note in her voice.

“Why won’t you hold me, my Elsely?”

“I… have no strength…”

Butteranna released her hold and Elsely plopped back down on the pillow with a grunt.  Her beloved smiled at her sheepishly.


Meanwhile, swords clashed in the courtyard below.  Olafigo staggered against the wall as he parried the six-fingered Duke’s attack.  With every movement, pain lanced from his wound, and he gritted his teeth.  

“I should’ve killed you back then, brat,” jeered the six-fingered Duke Weselgen.  "Did you really think that you can beat me with such twig like arms?  But don’t worry.  You’ll be joining your father soon.“

The memory of the Duke laughing over his father’s  death stiffened his resolve.  "My name is Olafigo Montoya.  You melted my father.  Prepare to die.  My name is Olafigo Montoya.  You melted my father.  Prepare to die.”

The chanting seemed to numb the pain from his wound.  He advanced on the Duke, slashing with more vigor.  "My name is Olafigo Montoya.  You melted my father.  Prepare to die.  My name is Olafigo Montoya.  You melted my father.  Prepare to die.  My name…“

"Stop saying that!” yelled the Duke as he backed away.

Olafigo switched to his left hand and they fought across the courtyard. The  Duke awkwardly parried against the unusual stance.  Olafigo feinted, causing the Duke to lose his guard.  He chanced the opening and thrust into his opponent’s shoulder.

The Duke fell to his knees and Olafigo disarmed him.

A six fingered hand rose in surrender.  "Please stop!  I give up!  Let me go and I’ll give you anything!“

"Anything?”

“Anything.”

“I want money…”

“Yes!”

“Power…”

“Yes!”

“Cake…”

“Cake?”  The Duke looked at him quizzically before quickly agreeing, “Yes!  Anything else?”

“I want my father, Marshalo Montoya, you son of a bitch!”  Olafigo thrust home and the Duke’s eyes rolled up in agony.  With a negligent push with his boot on the Duke’s chest, his blade came free and he cleaned it with the Duke’s cloak.  The man didn’t need it anymore.


Meanwhile, Butteranna cradled Elsely’s head against her trembling bosom.  "What happened to you?“

"I was tortured in the Pit of Despair.  I was mostly dead, but that doctor, Mad Oaken, gave me this miracle pill of his own invention and saved me.  The man who broke me out of the Pit, Olafigo, rescued me in exchange for a way to get into the castle.  And so, here I am.”

“Oh, Elsely, will you ever forgive me?” cried Butteranna with despair in her voice.

“For what?”

“I’m married to Prince Hansperdinck.”

“Did you say ‘I do’?”

“No…”

“Then you’re not married.”

Elsely’s reassuring smile melted the despair in her heart and she hugged her tightly.  "Oh, Elsely!“

"Gently please…”

“A minor technicality,” came a gloating voice from the door.  "A mistake that I’ll correct as soon as I make sure to send you back to death’s door.“  

Butteranna stood between him and Elsely.  "You promised to let her go!”

He unsheathed his sword.  "Let’s settle this to the death.“

"No, to the pain.”

“What?”

“I’ll explain and use small words so that you’ll understand, you troll-faced buffoon.  To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet and then your hands at the wrists.  Next, I’ll slice off your nose to make it easier for you to eat your boogers.”

“Save the insults and stand up.”

“I’m not finished.  You’ll lose your left eye and then your right…

Hansperdinck stepped forward.  "Let me guess… my ears next.  How awfully predictable.”

“Wrong!  You keep your ears, so that every shriek of anyone who sees your hideousness will be yours to cherish.  Every child that runs away, weeping at your approach and every woman who cries out, "Heavens above, what is that thing?” will echo in your handsome ears.  That is what “to the pain” means.  It means I leave you wallowing in angst forever.

The prince raised his sword menacingly.  "Enough!  You’re bluffing!  I let the Duke play with you in his Pit.  I bet you can’t even stand.“

"You’re right.  Maybe I don’t have the strength to stand.”

Butteranna took a step towards the prince, but a cool hand stopped her.  She looked back to see Elsely’s reassuring blue eyes.  She squeezed her beloved’s hand.

“Or maybe, I do.”  Still holding her hand, Elsely slowly got up from bed.  With a slight nod, she let go of Butteranna’s hand to draw her sword.  Her icy blue eyes fix on the prince like a hunter on her prey and her voice was strong with the weight of challenge.  "Drop.  Your.  Sword.“

The prince’s sword trembled and he let go.

"Sit over there,” commanded Elsely.

Hansperdinck obeyed, looking like a frightened child.

“Tie him up tight.”

Butteranna found some rope under the bed.  While she tied the prince, she wondered why there was rope under the bed.  She shuddered as she thought of a possible horrible fate in these bridal chambers.

A man with twig like arms and carrot long nose staggered into the room.  "Found you…  Where’s Krissik?“

"I thought he was with you.  Butteranna, this is Olafigo.  Olafigo, this is Butteranna.”  

The man bowed awkwardly.  “Pleased to meet you.”

When she finished tying up the prince, Olafigo slumped against the wall.   She noticed the blood on his shoulder and moved towards him, but he waved to Elsely.

“Not me.  Help her.”

“Why?”

“Because she has no strength.”

At that moment, Elsely plopped back on the bed.

“Elsely!”

Hansperdinck crowed in triumph and struggled against the rope.  "I knew it!  You were bluffing.“

The man touched the intricately carved handle of his sword.  "Want me to do him in?”

“No thanks.  I want him to live knowing what a coward he is,” replied Elsely with derision.

A large man entered the room.  

“Krissik!  Where have you been?"  Olafigo reached out and clasped his large hand.

Krissik helped him up.  "Here and there.  I got lost, but I heard your voice, and came over.  We better get out before more guards come.”  

“Let’s do that.”

“But before we go…”  Butteranna walked over to Hansperdinck and punched him in the face.  He toppled over unconscious along with the chair.

Elsely smiled proudly.  “That’s my girl!”

With Krissik supporting Elsely and Olafigo, they made their way to the stables and found 4 reindeer with saddles.  Krissik helped Elsely get on and then mounted the largest reindeer.

He patted its great head.  "This is Sven.  He’s my new friend.“

Olafigo inclined his head.  "Nice to meet you Sven.”  He turned his attention to Elsely.  "Where to, captain?“

"The back gates.”

They rode out of the castle and into a new beginning.  Elsely guided her reindeer next to Butteranna and offered her hand.  Butteranna smiled widely and took that familiar caloused hand in hers.  Together, they rode off into the sunset.  Once safely away from the prince’s lands, they stood on a cliff, their bodies framed by a full moon.  Since the invention of the kiss, legends and fairytales spoke of kisses that were the most passionate, the most pure.  Their kiss left them all behind.

THE END


“Again please!” cried the twins in chorus.

Queen Anna of Arendelle closed the book.  "You promised to sleep after I read this story.“

"But you were ” said crown princess Lana.

“ almost at the end,” continued her twin sister Elaine.

“I’ll read it again tomorrow.  Besides, it’s your bedtime.”  She tucked them in and kissed their foreheads.  "Sweet dreams.“

The slightly open door swung on its hinges to admit her wife.  Queen Elsa went to their daughters and kissed their foreheads as well.  "Good night, Lana, Elaine.”

“Good night, Mama… Good night Momma…” said the twins sleepily.

Anna doused the lamps and left the room with her wife.  As she closed the door behind her, she asked, "How long were you standing there?”

“When you changed it from 'perfect breasts’ to 'freckled breasts’.  I’m beginning to worry about your creative embellishments.  What if they talk about your modified stories with the other royal children?  It won’t be the same as the book.”

She slipped her hands around her wife’s left forearm.  "But they like it!  I bet you’re just jealous.  How about I tell you a story?“

"Will it have freckled breasts in it?”  A daring glint rose from those icy blue eyes.

“As you wish,” replied Anna with a wink.

Together, they walked quickly to the Queens’ Bedchamber.