because it's christmas and at christmas you can get away with posting this stuff

Tales of Delicious Revenge from a Recovering Retail Worker

I discovered this sub a while ago and it has breathed new life into my withered soul. Today, it’s time that I return the favor.

These tales of petty revenge all took place over the three long years that I had the misfortune of working retail at a big-box store best known for its red bullseye logo and bitchy middle-class clientele. Enjoy.

I was working in the fitting room one night when this lady bustles in with 3000 different items of clothing that she wanted to try on. Unfortunately my store had just lifted the item limit for the fitting room, so I begrudgingly had to let her take everything back.

She proceeds to make a HUGE mess in the fitting room (leaving clothes inside-out all over the floor, tags ripped off of items, size stickers peeled off and slapped onto the wall… the whole nine yards).

After she leaves, I report the ripped off tags to Assets Protection (per fitting room policy) and, figuring that would be the extent of my revenge, I resigned to cleaning up the mess she left me.

Then I get a call from the manager. He wants me up at the registers to do back up. I had worked the registers before, but it was exceptionally rare for me to get pulled away from the fitting room to do backup. Still, I don’t protest and I head up to the register.

Guess who my first customer is? Yep, the mess-making bitch from the fitting room. The manager has directed her straight to me, and I can tell from the wide-eyed look of horror on her face that she realizes she has just been lead into a trap.

She slowly begins to plop her items onto the conveyerbelt and tries to make nervous small-talk. At first I assume she’s just feeling awkward about the mess that she left… but when I get a better look at her items, I immediately realize there’s something much fishier going on.

Her purchase consists entirely of women’s clothing, and I recognize most of the items as brand new stuff that has recently come in. Stuff that should cost full price. So when I see nearly every single item’s price tag covered with a bright red 70% off clearance sticker, I realize that something’s up. When I look down at the first item from her pile, my suspicions are confirmed: the item I’m holding in my hands is a woman’s Mossimo Black clothing item, but it has a bright blue Circo tag that belongs on infant boy clothes.

Busted! This bitch was switching tags on clothes to get a lower price! Not only that, but she was so brazen (or stupid) that she used tags from the wrong department!

I don’t make it immediately obvious that I’ve figured out her scheme. Instead, I think fast. From my experience in the fitting room, I know every item of clothing has a little white tag on the inside that has a nine-digit item code. So instead of scanning the items, I proceed to type in each and every item manually, using the ACTUAL numbers inside each garment.

The woman watches this all unfold with a nauseous look on her face, as item after item rings up at full price ($19 - $29, compared to the $2 or $4 price tags she had stuck on each item). As her total grows, so does the look of combined hatred and fear on her face.

Finally she stammers something about “coming back later” and runs off towards the exit. The Assets Protection guy watches her walk out, then comes over to me. He reveals that he had been watching this chick before she even went into the fitting room, but he didn’t have enough on camera to approach her. Since I was the only team member working that night who was familiar with the clothing / tags, the manager put me on the register to check her out.. literally!

It’s the week before Christmas and the store is frantic. I’m manning the phones (which are ringing off the hook), and one night I get a call from Bitch Princess, who wants to know if we have any [insert name of whatever animatronic hatching robot dog toy every kid had to have that year].

Now the store’s holiday policy said we could confirm availability over the phone, but we weren’t supposed to put high-demand items (like the barking bird robot thing) on hold for a customer. Regardless, I was still un-jaded enough to like hooking people up (I’m still waiting on that lifetime of good retail karma to kick in…)

I let BP know that this highly-coveted toy has been flying off the shelves for weeks and I’m doubtful that we have any in stock, but I can happily check for her if she’s willing to go on a brief hold. She impatiently agrees to the hold, and I set the phone down.

After being slightly delayed by a customer that ambushed me on the sales floor, I miraculously find ONE of these stupid toys on the shelf. I grab it and head back to my post, excited to tell BP I just saved Christmas, but when I get back I find the phone ringing again. Recognizing the number on the caller ID display, I quickly deduce that Bitch Princess has hung up and is now calling back.

I barely get a chance to recite my scripted greeting before BP cuts me off, yelling that I put her on hold for “30 minutes” (more like 7), that she’s a customer and it’s my job to assist her, some nonsense about her having priority over the customers in the store, blah blah blah. I want to point out that literally NONE of what she’s saying is true, but I keep my lips sealed.

Instead, in a ridiculously pleasant voice, I say: “ma’am, thank you SO MUCH for your patience. I checked the sales floor and couldn’t find [stupid toy], but the computer is telling me that we might have one in the backroom. If you bear with me for another minute here, I can—”

She grumbled that yes, I could check the backroom, but I “better hurry” because she doesn’t have time for this. Smiling gleefully, I put the phone back on hold and proceed to return [stupid toy] to the spot where I found it on the sales floor. I then spend a nice chunk of time helping out ACTUAL customers in the store.

Eventually I remember that BP is still waiting on hold and I return to the phone. “Ma’am, good news… we do have ONE in stock,” I say. BP immediately barks at me to put it on hold, and a devious Grinch-like smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, but we’re actually unable to put high-demand items on hold at this time. All I can do is confirm that it’s currently available on the sales floor…”

BP unleashes the wrath of a thousand fiery infernos and demands to speak to a manager. I oblige, transferring her to the closing manager (who confirmed the store policy, before promptly being hung up on).

I was pretty pleased with the turn of events, but the cherry on top came a short time later when BP actually shows up at the store, only to discover that the toy had already been purchased by another guest.

It was nearly closing time, and I was tasked with “zoning” (or straightening up) the shoe department for the night. It was nearly impossible for me to get anything done, though, because this obnoxious woman kept making me drop everything to help her shop for shoes for her toddler.

The worst part was that the woman didn’t put anything back where she found it. Instead, she just leaves the shoe boxes strewn throughout the aisle (wtf). She finally leaves, and I drag myself over to the massive mess that she’s left behind.

As I’m returning all of the discarded shoe boxes to their rightful locations, I’m popping them open to make sure the correct shoes are inside. When I open one of the boxes, I discover a very sweet sight indeed: a dirty pair of toddler sneakers.

It’s a scam I’ve seen far too many times: someone swaps out a pair of new shoes with their old dirty shoes. Only this time, instead of getting away, I had caught the crook red-handed (or red-footed?)

I tucked the shoebox under my arm and quickly retraced the woman’s steps. Sure enough, I was able to find her in the grocery section. And sure enough, her toddler was sitting in the cart wearing a pair of brand new cartoon character sneakers.

I approached the mom with a giant shit-eating grin on my face and said: “I’m so glad I caught you! You almost left without these!” I held open the box with the dirty sneakers.

The woman had the nerve to pin the blame on her child, playing it off as if her kid had swapped the sneakers. Smh.  


Holiday shit always gets marked down to clearance the day after a holiday and people tend to get a little worked up about it. One time, this guy calls the store the day after Easter and asks how much the white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs had been discounted. I told him they were marked down 30% (the standard first mark down) and he’s not satisfied with that and hangs up. He proceeds to call back EVERY DAMN DAY to ask for the price, and every time he’s rude and weird about it. When they finally get marked down to 50%, I think he’ll bite… but nope. Still not cheap enough.

Finally at 90% he’s interested and asks me, over the phone, to take every single bag off the sales floor and put them on hold for him. I tell him no (goes against store policy to hold clearance), but since the candy is about to be defected (taken out of inventory), the manager tells me to just do it. So I wheel a cart over to the clearance aisle, and that’s when I hatch a plan.

There are two kinds of candy leftover in clearance: white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs, and white chocolate m&ms. For whatever reason, we have about 50 bags of each. Feeling a spirit of pettiness overtake me, I fill the cart with the m&ms and push it to the front with a 24 hour hold ticket. I wasn’t there when the guy showed up the next morning, but I’d imagine he was pretty livid to discover the wrong candy on hold, and then to realize that the actual candy he wanted had been defected out.

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers… do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm heading to New Mexico in a week. What should I know?

I may not be of much help since I don’t know why you’re coming or what you’ll be doing here, but I can probably provide a few helpful hints! (This post got a little long, so bear with me…)

I do not say any of these things to scare you away, I just want you to be prepared for all that the Land of Entrapme—I mean, Enchantment—has to offer!

More under the cut, since this got so long!

The following goes for the whole of New Mexico:
• WEAR SUNSCREEN. I don’t care how dark you are, New Mexico itself is at a higher altitude than most other states, and it is in a desert area, which means you’re closer to the sun and it’s BLOODY HOT almost all year-round. Albuquerque, New Mexico sees around 340 (or more) sunny days a year. Most of them with no clouds. I have a friend from California who had literally never had a sunburn before IN HER LIFE. She got her first one here after spending twenty minutes outside jogging. It is also dry here, which means your skin will probably dry out mere moments after you take a shower. FOR YOUR SKIN’S SAKE; BATHE IN SUNSCREEN AND ALOE LOTION IF YOU HAVE TO. Don’t let this state destroy your beautiful complexion. Or…you know…give you skin cancer.

• Continuing on the fact that New Mexico has a high elevation: If you jog or ride your bike out here, you may run out of breath faster than you do in other states. Don’t worry, it’s only because the air is thin. Another thing that altitude affects is alcohol tolerance. You might not be able to handle as much as you’re used to in other states. Don’t worry, that’s just New Mexico fucking with you. But also because the air is thin. PLEASE don’t go to Sandia Crest and think you can still get away with six beers. You will probably be wasted before your third one.

• There are indeed four seasons in New Mexico, but they are not the same as everyone else’s. They are: WinterLiteTM, wiND, ATOMIC SUMMER, and then comes WIND PART II, THE VENGEANCE. We also have dust, dust, and more dust (I have probably seen more dust devils in my life than ice cream trucks. And New Mexico has a lot of shady-ass ice cream trucks). If you are asthmatic, PLEASE use your inhaler/nebuliser and sleep with an air humidifier in the room. In fact, everyone should sleep with a humidifier on, asthmatic or not. It can help prevent dry-weather nosebleeds.

• It’s not a fun subject, but here are some BUGS and CRAWLIES to watch out for:
-As with everywhere, if you’ll be spending time outside, wear bugspray and avoid mosquitos, fleas, and ticks like the plague (haha see…cos in New Mexico, the fleas and ticks might LITERALLY be carrying the ACTUAL plague. Be safe out there, kids, and don’t touch the prarie dogs).

-If you see a spider that looks like this:

It’s harmless. Its mouth is literally too small to bite you. These long-legged angels may be everywhere, but they help keep the fly population to a tolerable level. You can leave them alone and they’ll just sit there looking pretty and creepy.

-However, if you see either one of THESE fuckers:

Either leave it alone, relocate it, or if you can’t…I guess you can kill it. Just do NOT let it GET ON YOU or BITE YOU, WHATEVER YOU DO.

-We also have some problems with scorpions and centipedes. A good rule of thumb is to leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone. But if it’s little, and it’s ON you, either relocate it or kill it.

-In the more rural areas of NM, there are bullsnakes and rattlesnakes! The bullsnakes are pretty much harmless, and I can tell you stories about catching them as a wee lad. But if you encounter a rattlesnake, get THE HELL OUT. Chances are, you’ll hear it first. Back away slowly and then when you’re a safe distance away, RUN LIKE FUCK. They like to hang out in tall grass, so if at all possible, avoid running through a wide open field of grass.

• MANY OF THE PLANTS HERE WILL TRY TO KILL YOU! Don’t take it personally, they’re just angry and jealous that we have less water than everyone else. It’s quite understandable. I am too. If you see a green park and wish to run through it barefoot DON’T DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. SPARE YOUR POOR FEET. If the plants don’t get you, THE SPRINKLER HEADS WILL.
Anyway, here are some evil New Mexican plants to watch out for:

-Goat heads

These fuckers don’t care who they take out, they just care that they take out AS MANY FEET, TOES, HANDS, AND FINGERS AS POSSIBLE. You thought getting a splinter was bad? These will stab your foot, stab the fingers that you use to pull it out, and then hurt for DAYS afterward. Think stepping on a lego, only it’s a stabby plant whose seedpods hide in crevices waiting to kill your feet and hands year-round.

-Foxtails and “stickers”

These will stick to everything you love and POKE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU INCESSANTLY UNTIL YOU BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FOR WHATEVER YOU DID TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT. Don’t walk through grassy areas unless you’re wearing jeans and close-toed shoes. Even then, they may still poke you if they get a hold of your socks somehow (and they ALWAYS find a way).

-I don’t know what these are called so I call them “FUCK-YOU-plants”

They have a million reeny-tiny needles on their stems that will be the bane of your existence if you have to weed a garden here. Just don’t touch them. You aren’t even safe if you wear gardening gloves. NO ONE IS SAFE.

-Our thistles are spiny and look like they will MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

This is why I was always confused about why it says in Whinne the Pooh that Eeyore ate them. He was obviously eating the less-murderous variety.

Tumbleweeds. Wind garbage. Harmless, right?

THINK AGAIN. You think these things won’t kill you? They are ACTUALLY out to take over the WORLD. These fuckers can grow to be GIGANTIC and WILL NOT HESITATE to ABSOLUTELY TOTAL your car if you try to run over them. They will also bury houses and vehicles as they are allies with the wind. But hey, Albuquerque makes a cool giant snowman with them every winter, since we don’t usually have any actual snow to play with.

CACTUS. Our entire state is pretty much COVERED in cactus.

They are the most angry of all about the fact that there is no water. It is best not to argue with them or try to console them. In fact, stay a safe distance away and try not to make eye-contact. They’re pretty, but they are also murdery, so don’t be fooled by their seductive and colourful spring flowers. Some of them have delicious fruit, but the tingling sensation you feel after trying it may be due to the THOUSANDS OF TINY NEEDLES that were just deposited into your tongue. Many people plant prickly pears or chollas under their bedroom windows to deter burglars, because falling into one is literally one of the worst experiences you can imagine, shortly followed by the horrible experience you’ll have at the doctor’s office as they pluck cactus spines out of your bare bottom for forty five minutes while you bemoan every single life-choice you’ve ever made.
Also, there are often little tiny cacti with GIANT SPINES just chilling under pine trees and such, so watch where you step.

Anyway, let’s stop talking about the scary murdery stuff and start talking about the fun stuff!

New Mexico has a very chile-centric culture. New Mexicans joke that we put chile on EVERYTHING, and we’re actually not wrong. We put chile on our pizza, we put it in our brownies and cakes…we got chile chocolate, chile chips, chile candy, chile cornbread, chile WINE, chile COFFEE, and CHILE PEANUT BRITTLE (which is SO GOOD I would probably actually kill a man for it. Or I’d let the cacti do it and feign non-involvement).

If you are dining at a New Mexican restaurant, you may hear the words “Red, Green, or Christmas?” ass-smack in the middle of July. Don’t worry. They are not trying to sell the jolly holiday of winter to you as a side-dish with your meal. They want to know if you want red chile, green chile, or both (т.е; red + green = christmas). If you like it hot, I would suggest going with the green. Hatch chile is usually hot and delicious. If you’re on the fence, you can get it on the side, or go for the usually milder red chile (which stains like a MOTHERFUCKER do NOT eat it if you are clumsy like me and any part of your clothing is light-coloured! If you must eat it, wear BLACK), but if you’re feeling adventurous, go with both.

Here are a few must-try New Mexican dishes with chile in them (ok they pretty much ALL have chile in them, who am I kidding)

Huevos rancheros: The New Mexican breakfast of CHAMPIONS.

You can get this at most restaurants if they advertise New Mexican food. I’d get it at Frontier if you’re gonna be in Albuquerque.

The Frontier/Golden Pride breakfast burrito

The Frontier/Golden pride restaurants are a MUST-VISIT if you end up in Albuquerque. As for their burritos? They’ve been voted best in the city (if not the state) COUNTLESS times. Whether it’s a #9 or a #11, the tortillas are fresh, the chile is hot, and the burrito you get is DE-FUCKIN-LICIOUS.

Posole and Tamales

These are usually a winter favourite served around Christmastime, but I think I speak for a lot of New Mexicans when I say that they are delicious no matter WHAT time of the year you’re enjoying them.

Green Chile Rellenos

Because a deep-fried, cheese-stuffed green chile is ALWAYS a good idea.

Green chile Pepperoni Pizza

You can ONLY get this in New Mexico, but you can get it literally ANYWHERE in the state. My favourite is served at a tiny pizzaria in Ruidoso called Cafe Rio, but I guess it’s ok at Dion’s too.
(Fun fact: most New Mexican chains/franchises also carry green chile. For example, New Mexican Subway carries green chile, and you can put it on literally ANY sandwich you want).

New Mexico has breathtaking views, a whole lot of must-see tourist attractions, and yes we are the state where Breaking Bad was filmed (there RV are tours for that). It’s a place with a lot to offer. It kinda sucks to live here, but it’s awesome to visit! I won’t go into detail on the sights since this post got a little long, but if you have a question specifically about the sights to see, I can definitely make a post about them! Let me know!

(And to all the New Mexicans seeing this post: feel free to add anything I might have missed)

anonymous asked:

could you please explain me the whole vday video? like the things he said and everything,, if the things he said happened. please.

(if you dont wanna know about the valentines day video dont read this)

im not sure if i should be doing this but i got like ten asks about it. im afraid phil lester will take my blog down. sighs

ok. so the video starts with phil saying ‘awrf hi dan’ its something they used to say when they were trying to be cute. (especially phil) 

here are some tweets and a dailybooth showing that phil actually used to say that, i know its not that important but im trying to mention everything i can.

dan posted this picture on dailybooth:

phil commented on it:

and then phil says: “i know you said we weren’t gonna do anything for valentine’s day, but you had to go to bed, leaving me for five hours with nothing to do”

i know it sounds weird that dan went to bed 5 hours earlier than phil, but thats because dan was in india when phil filmed it. he left for india on february 5th or 6th and came back on the 19th. then went to see phil and stayed at his house until the 24th. dan and phil would often spend their evenings talking to each other on skype, so the ‘leaving me for five hours with nothing to do’ comes from that. but why was it important to point out if the video ‘was just a joke’?

dan in india. (intro and outro)

dan coming back from india.

before leaving for india:

this was the morning after phil posted the video. dan had probably just seen it.

sunday - february 21.

(video of the pancake making) (1:35)

phil tweeted this on valentine’s day:

(keep in mind that the video was posted on february 13th)

‘holding my thoughts in my heart’ is the name of a song from final fantasy VII. it plays at the end of the video. phil has tweeted the song, posted about it on dailybooth and liked it on youtube.


you got me loads of awesome birthday presentes and i wanted to repay you, somehow, because it was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me”

phil’s birthday: 2 weeks before valentine’s day.

“the first time we met […] and then, when we were on the big wheel, i was like, “i really hope he likes me too.” and then you kissed me, and my heart did that flippy-over thing, and, it’d never done that before, so… that was nice.” you all know dan and phil were internet best friends and then they met for the first time in october 19th, 2009 at manchester picadilly station. so i dont need to get into detail. they went to starbucks, apple store and manchester skybar.

(i wonder why *cough cough*)

phil’s drawing for the valentine’s day video when he said ‘and then you kissed me’:

dan and phil when they met for the first time: (notice the similar clothing)

(in 2012 phil got really sad because people wanted to take down the manchester wheel ‘dont take my wheel away’)

“and over the next few months we saw each other a lot and I slowly fell in love with you.” and they really did saw each other a lot after the first time they met. october 19 to october 22. october 31. november 6 to 9. november 29 to december 4. december 10 to 14. december 22 to 24. december 30 to january 2. january 15 to 17. january 15 to 17. january 22 to 24.

‘[…] so the first one is on the snowiest day ever, when we were walking through the abandoned hospital. and you had your hat on, and you lay down in the snow, and looked at the stars. and I lay next to you, and kissed you, and wrote “i love dan” in the snow.” phil recalls some of their moments together. dan went to visit phil from december 22 to 24. there was a massive snowstorm that week.

INTERACTIVE CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE  (you can see how much snow there is)

ZOMG RED PANDA!!?  (phil talks about the snowstorm)

(they filmed the christmas adventure on december 24.)

phils drawing for the vday video when he said ‘and you had your hat on, and you lay down in the snow, and looked at the stars. and i lay next to you, and kissed you..’ (notice the similar clothing)

(screenshot from christmas adventure)

‘endless coffee in starbucks, caramel macchiato, and our starbucks sofa…’

dan’s live show he mentions that caramel macchiato is his favorite starbucks drink.

dans live show again mentions that cm is his favorite.

a day in the life of phil and dan when dan gets his caramel macchiato phil calls it ‘the best’ and they both have caramel macchiatos on the sofa. they go to starbucks a lot.

‘the week we spent together in my house was amazing, i think that’s when i properly fell in love with you..’

dans formspring: 

that ‘<’ means that the week he spent with phil was better than anything else he had done that year.

that week was from november 29, 2009 to december 4.

(look how much he spent with dan wtf)

(they got out of bed pretty late….)

their dailybooths were full of love stuff that week. i wonder why..

‘and when we watched wall-e on my sofa, and then cried.’

(and that night the uma thurman thing happened)

‘all the cuddles in bed, and three-hour breakfasts’


‘and lying in my bed, and funny times in my bed (omg so much cherry everywhere)’

lmao. the “cherry" he’s talking about is a flavor of lube. yea.

‘at the halloween gathering when we realized that no other youtubers actually eat, so we went and got some food and then sat on the fountain. at that point, i kind of realized that i didn’t really care about the other youtubers, i just wanted to be spending time with you. and we held hands, and then kissed, and looked at the stars.’

dan and phil at the halloween gathering part 1 

dan and phil at the halloween gathering part 2 (5:07 you can see them sat on the fountain. they show up other times too)

another one 

another one 

‘and when we can’t be together, all the hundreds of hours of skype calls that we’ve had have made me eight million times happier.’

skype calls. 

talked on skype often, but they still posted about missing each other.

dan tweets about phil coming to see him at his parent’s house:

‘we might just want to zzz’ aww

‘and all our manchester days, and watching avatar in 3d, and kissing in 3d glasses..’

‘you are the best person in the world’

and this was posted 2 hours before the tweet:

and thats it. as you can see everything phil mentioned on the video, happened.

if it was a prank why keep it up on phil’s side channel for a year and a half? and why freak out after it had leaked? they went directly to the fans that found it and asked them to keep it quiet, it just made it more obvious. they make everything they can to put down every vday video posted. phil cant act, so how did he manage to pull that love look? why so much work into a simple prank video? why include references that no one would have understood at the time? april fool’s day is on april 1 not on valentine’s day. and you can see the way they make pranks by watching danandphilcrafts.

Another Fic Rec Post

As promised~

Ok so here’s the fic rec nonny asked for. If you’re interested in past recs, I have a tag called ‘fic rec’.

Slam By Smarty0007. I love Smarty’s stuff, and I’m sure I mentioned this at one point but didn’t officially rec it because it wasn’t done yet and I like to stick mostly to completed stuff for rec lists. This story uses that little fact we learn in the V-day episode about Arnold hearing beautiful music when he likes someone and if that’s not enough to be interested in reading it, Helga also performs slam poetry and rocks at it. So basically, two things I LOVE to see explored in one story.

Craigslist: A Love Storyby theps118confessional. All of K’s stuff is so great, ok. I actually drew something for this, because I loved the fact that Helga has pink hair and puts it up into buns when she first meets Arnold. Now that it’s complete I can officially rec it here too. This is an AU where the two don’t meet until they’re adults, and it’s all thanks to Helga being a) hella bored and b) trying to get Phoebe off her back about spending Christmas alone which all leads up to her posting a Craiglist ad offering to be someone’s terrible date to bring to the holiday’s unavoidable family get togethers. Three guesses as to who ends up actually taking her up on the offer, the first two don’t count. This is honestly one of my faves because not only do we get to see Arnold and Helga falling for each other despite not growing up with each other, we also get Helga interactions with Arnold’s entire family, Gertie especially, and I love it. Its also has some very funny moments and it’s full of schmoop, which I love.

Acceleration of The Bus and Other Feelings By Alexandra7. This is a really cute one shot of Arnold realizing that he’s fallen HARD for Helga and all she had to do was unknowingly do something that’s been known (to us anyway) to work before. Of course, it doesn’t help that he was already falling for her anyway. I can seriously see this happening too, where he realizes he’s at the point of no return because of something she unwittingly did that hits him with the force of a bus (lol pun intended, if you read it you’ll get it).

Grand Fir By Lachesism. Lachesism’s writing is always top notch, and this is such a great one shot it actually had me tear up a bit. When Arnold and Helga were kids they made a promise to meet each other on Christmas years from then, how long is she willing to wait for him? And will he actually show up for something that was promised years ago? It’s all in Helga’s POV, and we even get some nice moments with Phoebe and Olga as well, and what happens at the end brings everything together and I suck at explaining things/doing it justice so just read it you won’t regret it. It is a great shortaki Christmas fic.

Heart-Shaped Box by Reinamy. I’ve already gushed about “The Sensation of Falling” before but honestly all of Reinamy’s stuff is so great, and this is another favorite of mine. After seemingly never being able to get away from a certain someone no matter what, Helga ends up frustratingly getting stuck in an elevator with him, and learning things she never knew in the process. Question is, can she survive until help arrives to get them out of the predicament they’re in?

Fragile Moments By Angelic Guardian. Super cute one shot detailing Arnold’s slow realization that he’s fallen for his tormentor, as well as how things turn out after he does. I really like seeing things from Arnold’s perspective and noticing just how he gets from point a to point b on his feelings for Helga. This story does that really well.

Future Fern by Aiyta. I’m kind of a sucker for ‘present selves meet past selves’ type stuff and this is done really well and it’s super cute. Arnold, Helga, and Gerald decide to check out an urban legend Phil tells them about and get sucked into the future where they need to find a way back to their own time, with the help of their future selves. They learn things about the whole gang along the way and about themselves especially. This also takes place after FTI when Arnold’s trying to grapple with the whole thing and his own thoughts on what happened between Helga and himself. It’s full of schmoop and I love it.

I think this is enough for now, again I’ve rec’d other fics in my tag so be sure to check those out too!

anonymous asked:

Ok is it wrong that the petty part of me is thinking of Peter running into Mark over Christmas break and being all thanks man that was the exact push we needed to get together. So really thanks for being such a dick. Totally worth it. Merry Christmas asshole. And Peter definitely "accidentally" tagged Mark in a cute insta photo where MJ called Peter her boyfriend. It was a total accident MJ. He definitely meant to tag Liz. It's not his fault they both have Took as in their name.

loooooooooooooooools I’m so glad that we all universally agree that FWB!Peter is a petty asshole. he is THAT GUY. and I love his little arachnid ass so much. 

this was such a fun anon, so here, have a tiny little ficlet about this exact headcanon. 

Keep reading



Today is the day I graduate from college. Just like last time, it’s early June. But unlike last time, I don’t feel a single ounce of sadness. I’m sitting in front of the mirror in mine and Jackson’s room in our townhouse that we rent, and he’s getting dressed behind me.

Keep reading

Our Strange Family

I was bored and i wanted to do stuff. So here is a continuation of a previous post I made about Baz and Simon adopting children that you can find here. Let me know what u think! (BTW i can’t wait for xmas and its still so far away but this is gonna be a little xmas-y)


You know? Living at the Snow-Pitch household was one of the best blessings that Cherry and Cody ever got. You never really lived until you saw the love and affection given by Simon and Baz Snow-Pitch. After everything, it was nice to spend days like these in their small apartment in London.

Cody was at the piano, playing Christmas carols that Simon, Cherry, and occasionally Baz would sing along to. Everyone was bundled up in oversized Christmas sweaters with a mug of hot chocolate in their hands. Cherry was leaning against Cody, slowly drifting off into sleep on the piano bench. Simon and Baz copied their position on the couch, Simon feeling the scratchy surface of Baz’s sweater against his cheek. They admired the twins and their many talents. 

The sweaters where Cherry’s doing. Simon was attempting (and failing) to knit some scarves for everyone as the cold weather approached. Cherry begged Simon to teach her and he happily obliged, and soon she was making the family’s winter garments. Sometimes she would paint as well. Beautiful sunsets. Boys with wings. Happy families. Swirls of magic. Each and every picture was neatly framed and hung on the wall, causing Cherry to blush at how overly dramatic her adoptive parents are.

“This isn’t even one of my nicer pieces,” Cherry would protest as Simon paid the cashier for the elegant frame.

“Nonsense. This is one of the best yet! You can really see the love you have for this boy…” Simon said.

“Shut up dad!” But it was true. The portrait was of one of the boys in her grade. He had dark skin like chocolate and beetle black eyes and was the handsomest person she has ever seen. He came over one day to work on a science project (Simon would not stop wiggling his eyebrows at them and Baz practically scared the poor boy with the looks he was throwing). It was true, Cherry had a small crush on him. She asked him if he’d let her sketch him, maybe even paint him, and he happily obliged with his charming smile. Simon and Baz never forgot his face and always remembered his name. Wilson. Wilson Rogers, to be exact. 

Simon always pestered Cherry about Wilson. He always asked for every detail up until the point it was embarrassing. After Baz, Simon turned into a hopeless romantic. Baz approved of Wilson, saying that he was actually a decent guy. And almost, almost as handsome as Simon. They practically burst with joy when he asked Cherry out. 

Not only was Cherry exceptionally amazing, but Cody was amazing in a completely different way. Cody was born with musical talent in his bones. It seemed as if every instrument he touched bended to his will and made the most lovely sounds. He had some previous experience with the piano and blew Simon and Baz away when he messed around with the one on display at a music store. 

They where going to get Baz’s violin repaired because a huge crack appeared on the surface. Simon says it was the children, but they all knew Simon clumsily knocked it over with his wings. Cherry and Cody wandered around the store as Simon and Baz talked to the worker about fixing Baz’s prized possession. Cody found himself drifting over to the pianos. He pressed his fingers to the keys and a sharp note cut the air. Soon, a melody rang out.

He remembered the times he auditioned for talent shows and sat on the stage, a bundle of nerves and anxiety. His hands would shake as he reached for the keys. He looked at the audience. This was one of those days he felt particularly down as his parents looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there. Cherry flashed him a smile and a thumbs up. It gave him the confidence he needed and he played his piece, forgeting about his parents and the conversations he overheard late at night about them throwing him out and forgeting he ever existed. 

He won first place that night. It was partially due to his sister pushing him to do things he never did before, but also his sheer determination to show his parents that he was worth something. That somebody cared. 

That night, one of the boys in the audience came up to congratulate him. The boy had a large, dopey, yet charming, smile. His brown, chestnut colored eyes lit up like a rainbow and his golden curls sparkled. He maneuvered himself so he was walking beside Cody, standing like they have been buddies for ages. 

“You did amazing out there,” the boy said.

“Oh it was nothing. It was just a small piece I’ve been working on….”

“A small piece? That was beautiful. It had all kinds of different rhythms and tempos and the notes where so fast… It’s really quite impressive,” the boy said with a satisfactory nod. 

“You sound as if you play…” Cody says, trailing off.

“Oh no. I’d never even thought about trying the piano. Although you make me want to. No, I play the cello,” the boy said with that grin. Something about this boy seemed so friendly and welcoming. Cody liked it.

“That’s interesting. I’ve never met someone who took up a string instrument.”

“Not many people do,” he said with a shrug. “Although, I’m not very good, mind you. I sound like a dying cat.”

“I don’t believe a word of that,” Cody said, eyeing his long slender fingers. They where the fingers of a musician, much like his own. 

“Maybe I should play for you one time, then?” the boy said. 

“Maybe we could play together some time. I heard that the cello sounds lovely with the piano,” Cody says, challenging him. 

“You’re on!” The boy turned to leave, but before he could, Cody grabbed his arm.

“I never caught your name. What was it?” 

“John,” the boy said with a smile, and then left. The boy, it turns out, did not go to his school. Cody never saw John again and he never got to hear him play cello. That turned out to be the least of his worries when his parents kicked him and Cherry out. They found their way to an orphanage. Then, Simon and Baz came in and changed his life forever. 

When he got to school, the first person he saw when he walked into the room was John. John. John was there, his long legs spread out in front of him, a cup of coffee on his desk. Cody wondered if John forgot about that night as he stared into his eyes. Then, John winked at him.

Cody got what John promised. He heard John play. His fingers danced across the strings just like Baz’s do on the violin. Except this time the pitch was lower and the strokes less graceful. John tapped his foot, not really to the beat of the song, but more of to the beat of his own racing heart. 

Cody fell in love with the cello. He loved the deep tones and the fingers that danced across strings. He loved watching the bow glide across them and soon every string instrument reminded him of Baz and John. Soon the desire overwhelmed him. He asked John if he could teach him how to play cello in exchange for piano lessons. John happily obliged, seeing how he didn’t have to ask Cody first.

So they taught each other the basics, going over where to put your fingers on the cello’s neck and what hand did what on the piano. They both formed a strong bond together. A bond that Cody hoped ran a little deeper than friendship. 

It happened when John was at the Snow-Pitch household, having a sleepover there. Baz kept looking between the two, a knowing smirk spreading across his lips. He knew the expressions on the boys faces. They where much like his own when he was hopelessly in love with Simon. The two boys where in love, yet too blind to see it. It’s like when you look at a painting. If you’re too close, you don’t see the beauty shining through. But when you step back, you see a masterpiece. This is what Baz saw. 

Baz pulled John back after dinner and did the most embarrassing dad thing ever. He encouraged him. 

“You two need to stop fooling around,” Baz said bluntly.

“Um… Sorry?” John said.

“I see it in your eyes. You love him, don’t you.”

“I’m sorry what–”

“Don’t play that game. You like Cody and he likes you. Stop avoiding it.” A look of shock passes over John’s face, and then a look of fear. 

“Y-y-y-y-you aren’t going to h-h-h-hurt me a-a-are you?” he says. Baz seemed like the dad that would slap anyone who admitted they had a crush on one of his kids. Instead he just laughed. 

“No. I want you to do it. Make him happy for once.” And Baz smiled one of his (no-longer-so-rare) smiles. The boy looked relieved and went to join his friend. 5 minutes into talking about feelings, and John pecked Cody on the lips, causing Cherry to spaz with joy for her brother. That’s how Cody fell in love. Falling through Minuets. 

For once, both of them felt like they where accepted more than they ever where before. Technically speaking, it was less about Simon and Baz accepting them and them accepting Simon and Baz. They never knew magic existed and now their adoptive parents are/where wizards and one is half dragon, the other is a vampire. A pretty hard thing to get used to, full of a lot of questions and demonstrations, but soon they all came to love their strange family. 

Simon loved hearing Baz and Cody play duets together with smiles on their faces. Baz watched Simon and Cherry get artistic and create beautiful pictures all over the house. They even painted the stars in Simon and Baz’s room. Are a really good representation of them too. It felt as if Baz was there again that night him and SImon saw the stars with magic. Maybe that was Simon’s intention when Baz got home from work on his birthday too see their room covered in blue, black, and white paint, colors coating both Simon and Cherry’s hands. He grinned just looking back at his blushing husband trying to stammer out an explanation. Baz ended up just kissing him, which made Simon melt.

Now, Simon clutched the fabric of Baz’s sweater tight and looked at the teens in front of them. 

“I’m glad we got to do this together,” Simon says.


“Raise children.”

“We’ve hardly raised them. We’ve only been with them for two years.”

“Yet it seems like they’ve grown so much.”

“Yeah. I’m glad though. There is nobody I’d rather have a family with,” Baz says, kissing Simon on the lips. They become more passionate with each passing moment. Cherry looks back at them.

“Ew dads. Can you try not to be so romantic?” Simon giggles.

“I thought you liked romance. With all those movies you watch.”

“Yeah, but you’re my parents. It’s weird.” 

“Whatever. I thought it was exactly like that vampire movie you watched.”


“What? I’m just saying I have my own handsome vampire.” And Simon kisses Baz again. They’re all happy. There is nothing else they could’ve asked for. 

tenderpotter  asked:

talk enjolras and grantaire being disgustingly domestic with each other to me

  • back when enjolras lived with combeferre, grantaire would come over to see combeferre and talk abt random things and he and combeferre would end up lying on the couch or floor looking silly and talking about some weird topic (the mourning customs of ancient china, the type of flower that grows in western africa, the new installation piece down the road). and anyway enjolras would come in and see them and decide it was time for a break anyway and get them both cups of tea (at first he didnt know how grantaire took it? with sugar? lots of cream?? he frowned at the tea cup for like ten minutes before just bringing it all to him) and then enjolras would lay on the floor or couch with them and listen to them talk about stuff he didnt have a lot of knowledge of (and didnt know grantaire did either like why does grantaire know so much abt the history of staples) and sometimes make input when he could and it was nice bc no one argued aggressively and their tea went cold a lot and sometimes they’d fall asleep or they’d talk so long until it was pitch black inside the apartment bc no one bothered to get up and turn the light on.
  • after enjolras started living alone he missed those conversations he used to listen in on but sometimes grantaire and him would accidentally get caught up in a conversation and not notice that everyone else had left and that was just as nice tbh
  • grantaire painting with his hair falling out of its ponytail so he looks like a crazy person and he’s got paint all over his ears from where he’s tucked his hair back and he’s gotta get this one done bc its his first exhibit at this new art gallery and he’s already nervous as it is but if this isnt perfect he’s gonna die or something, and enjolras just leaves him coffee (in disposable to-go cups so he doesnt mistake them for paint water) and runs out to buy art supplies when needed and trails behind grantiare scrubbing at all the stuff he touches and leaves paint on
  • but like imagine enjolras getting grantaire into the bath after he’s done and all the paint seeps off grantaire and for a second he looks like a crazy bathbomb
  • like a lot of times grantaire and enjolras will be talking for so long into the night they’ll just fall asleep on the couch or on the floor of the kitchen or random places bc they didnt notice the time and were too immersed in their conversation and didnt want to stop
  • most of the time grantaire cooks and enjolras cleans up, but enjolras likes to learn how to be self sufficient so he has grantaire teach him how to cook and enjolras can make pasta and chicken and rice so far. 
  • enjolras and grantaire curled up on the couch watching old movies from the 1920s and whispering abt how bahorel went through that 20s fashion phase and whether those two guys in the movie would fuck if it werent the 20s and mainstream media and grantaire finding out that enjolras eats popcorn like a fucking child, getting it everywhere and making the whole couch uncomfortable for all the crumbs so they end up sitting on the floor and thats how they remember they were suppose to buy a rug like six months ago but never got around to it.
  • there isnt a hair brush in the whole flat bc neither of them need it with curly hair like theirs and joly is just absolutely devastated when he finds this out after staying over one night and enjolras awkwardly offers a brand new toothbrush to comb his hair with and grantaire bruises his knee on the countertop from laughing so hard
  • grantaire absently braiding enjolras’ hair when he’s getting shaky and enjolras typing away at his laptop and grantaire thinks its some big law case but when he looks its just a really serious conversation with courfeyrac about one direction
  • there is a laptop charger in every room because enjolras cant be fucked to get up and get his when the laptop starts to die
  • there are dozens of old protest signs stacked up everywhere and one day grantaire plans on using them for a big installation piece
  • the way enjolras takes his coffee in the morning varies wildly day to day but he always drinks whatever grantaire gives him bc he trusts it’ll be good
  • enjolras getting used to joly and bossuet always being around grantaire vice versa with combeferre and courfeyrac, but one really early, sleepy morning enjolras accidentally kisses joly and bossuet goodbye without noticing and thats the moment grantaire really relaxes about it
  • courfeyrac strings christmas lights up on their apartment for the holidays bc they didnt bother to decorate but then after the holidays are over grantaire and enjolras just never take it down and theres just christmas lights and a plastic santa on the bookshelf for months afterwards
  • the milk always spoils before they finish it and enjolras feels guilty about it every single time
  • every time one of them picks something up they never put it back where they found it so the books are always in different places and there isnt a set place for the remote 
  • grantaire stops smoking as part of his sobriety but when he really really wants to, he and enjolras cram their shoulders through the window and suck on candy cigarettes instead and they have a nice conversation that flows through a lot of different topics while the sun sets and the dog across the street has shut up for one so its quiet and they’re watching through the open curtains of the other apartments and discussing whether they should buy apples this week to liven up their usual grocery list, and their apartment isnt really one way or another, not super messy or meticulously neat, but there’s marks of their friends everywhere and half finished art shoved in the corners and notebooks lost under the couch and a favorite mug they fight over and a sweater they cant remember who owned first, and its nice and its not fighting all the time or insecurity or worship, its just them, talking and talking and existing in each other’s spaces and never remembering to check the mail. 
Won’t Be Home For Christmas


prompt-  Hi! So is there anything better than thinking of Niall as a dad with a baby? Maybe the baby was born early December so it’s too small to travel to Ireland or to have much family around , it’s niall’s first time not spending Christmas in Ireland & doing the 12 pubs of Christmas with his mates. So maybe he’s a touch grumpy about it, but maybe you still make it special for him & come up with HORAN family traditions like baking cookies & a movie marathon or decorating

(A/N- i apologize for the shitty tittle) 

~ 1,184 words 


You sighed as you came into the den, your tiny daughter swaddled in your arms, where Niall sat slumped on the couch with a frown on his face. That frown has been there since the doctor told you two that your annual trip to visit Niall’s family in Ireland wont be able to happen this year. You’re little baby girl was much too tiny to make the trip and be around so many people, even though Niall understood it didn’t make him any less grumpy about it. 

“Ni, babe, please cheer up. I know you wanted your mom and dad to meet her and you wanted to see your mates but we just can’t.” You said sitting down next to him. 

He looked over at you, his usually bright and happy blue eyes were now dual and sad. “I know (Y/N) but you should’ve heard me mum when I told her we couldn’t come. She was crushed. And I haven’t seen my mates in a year and they were so ready to do the 12 pubs of Christmas. And yes I know i’m a dad now so I cant really do that much anymore but, well I dont know, I just wanted to get one more year in I guess.” He finished, his eyes drifted down to the small bundle in your arms and smile creeped on his lips as he rubbed a finger across her soft cheek. 

“I understand love, but next year we can go. And your mom said that shes going to come visit in January.” You kissed his forehead as you allowed him to take the baby from your arms and cradle her to his chest. 

“And I feel like a idiot gettn’ all upset about not bein’ able ta go because I should be over the moon that I got blessed with the best little girl ever, which I am of course, but I just pictured how this Christmas would go and not seeing my folks wasn’t a part of that picture.”

You looked at your two favorite people in the world, Ella was pressed against Niall’s warm chest as she made little grunting noises in her sleep every now and then. Looking around the den an idea popped in your head. “How about this? How about we decorate and do Christmas stuff, maybe that will cheer ya up.” 

Niall thought for a moment, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” 

“And maybe we can come up with our own traditions, seeing as we’re a family now.” You offered running your hand through his soft hair, for the first time in about a week you saw his frown disappear longer than a few seconds. 

“Okay.” He smiled, leaning over to give your lips a gentle but loving kiss your little girl cradled between you two.  “How about tomorrow we get a tree and find some of the decorations we have in storage”

“Sounds like a plan.” 


“Niall! How about this one.” You called. Niall jogged over to you where you stood in front of a tree. “What do you think about this one?”

“Yeah, I thinks its a good one, ill go tell the guy we’ll take it.” Niall said before he jogged back to find the man who ran the Christmas tree farm. 

“Nice to see daddy happy again, isn’t it Ella?” You spoke softly to the little baby in the carrier as you fixed the blanket around her small body wanting to make sure that she wasn’t cold.  Niall and the old man came back a short time later, after you had the tree strapped to the roof of the car you went home, excited to start decorating the house for the holiday. 


You couldn’t help but giggle at your husband as he struggled to wrap the lights around the tree, you sat on the floor watching Niall decorate the Christmas tree as you fed Ella her bottle. “Does that look okay my love?” He asked, stepping back to examine his work. 

“Looks great Ni.”

He nodded and quickly bent down to give a kiss on the forehead before he went over to the box where the ornaments were and started to place them on the branches of the tree. 

“Are you still upset that we can’t go to Ireland?” 

Niall stopped for a moment and looked down at the sparkly ornament in his hand before meeting your eyes. “Yeah, a little. But this is helpin’.” 

You gave him a sympathetic smile before he looked away from you again and continued to decorate the tree. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him and you knew he was trying so hard to be happy for you and Ella. 

You stayed like that for a while just enjoying the moment, watching Niall carefully place each and every ornament and how he occasionally interacted with Ella. Soon he finished and once more he stepped back to look at his work, “I think I did pretty good.” He said, bending over and taking Ella from your arms, “What do you think baby girl? Do you think daddy did a good job?” He asked the baby as if she could reply, the infant simply looked up at her dads face. Niall couldn’t help but laugh as she looked up at him with a completely blank stare, “How did we make such an adorable human?” Niall laughed softly rubbing her cheek. 

“I have no clue.” You smiled standing up and kissing Niall’s cheek. “I have a surprise for you.” 

He turned to you in curiosity, “Whats the surprise?” 

“While you were busy trying to find the decorations I called your mom and asked her for your favorite cookie recipe so I thought that maybe we could make them.” 

“I love you so much (Y/N).” was the only thing Niall could say, he honestly thought he didn’t deserve such a caring person like you. 

“I love you too, now lets go make some cookies.” 

As you got all the ingredients out, Niall pulled Ella’s swing into the kitchen and gently sat her in it as he babbled to her about absolutely nothing but Ella just watched as his lips moved and seemed memorized. You simply couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you watched your little family, you couldn’t ask for a better father for your little girl. 

You started to read the recipe and add things into the mixing bowl as Niall finally came over to you. He wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you close to his chest as he watched you mix ingredients together from over your shoulder. 

“Thank ya so much for doing this for me princess, i know i have been being such a grumpy ass this past week.” 

“It all okay my love.” You giggled. 

You two continued to bake the cookies but not without getting flour everywhere and eating some of the cookie dough. Soon the cookies were done and you, Niall and Ella went into the den to binge watch Christmas movie and stuff your face full of cookies. 


hope you liked it and it was what you had in mind. And also if you couldn’t tell  but i am american so thats why i said cookies  rather than biscuits and other words different. I plan on posting ever weekend up until chirstmas so hopefully that works out. 

twitter: heartbrokennjh // wattpad: brokenboyclifford

anonymous asked:

OP of the Christmas post here, and I'm down for them being together or apart, but Len is definitely still Captain Cold. Possibly he doesn't pull heists over Christmas, because he's too busy planning everything out to the second. Possibly Lisa and Mick pull more jobs to get away from Len's Christmas-mania.

This……totally got out of hand okay but here me out friend because I can dig this.

Len is super into Christmas. Lisa is positive only kids get this excited and even then, not to this extent.

And yeah, Lisa and Mick totally find it annoying but they can’t help but join in.

But this is how it goes down.

November 1st, Len rents a truck. He likes to buy his Christmas stuff early so he makes sure to get a truck big enough so that he doesn’t have to make double/triple trips.

I want the Rogues to be all buddy-buddy so they’re all pretty much spending Christmas together in one of the larger safe houses. Makes them all help out in some way.

Somewhere around the end of November and the beginning of December is when shit starts getting real.

Len goes to the grocery stores with Mick. They’re the ones who’ll be cooking mainly because they don’t trust anyone else to do it.

Barry totally runs into them a few times (being on grocery duty himself), and is totally suspicious. But also confused as to why Mick and Len are damn near buying out the entire grocery store. It starts getting weird when Len doesn’t utter a single pun the entire time. Barely even acknowledges the speedster’s existence. Too focused on throwing things in the cart and rushing for the last bag of Jet-Puffed marshmallows before the poor old lady next to him. He’s in the freakin zone.

Barry decides they can’t really be planning anything nefarious with marshmallows, so he lets it go. Getting a friendly nod from Heatwave on his way out. Friendly. From Heatwave. Barry gets outta there before the planet explodes or something equally terrifying.

You said you don’t care if Len is still a criminal or not so I’m gonna say he is, but it’s still somewhere after Family of Rogues. Cold is out of prison, maybe he’s help Barry out with a few metas. They’ve built up this relationship where there’s obviously a mutual respect there. They don’t try to hurt/kill each other. Mostly just Len stealing this and Barry stopping him. Almost fun for them, especially since innocent bystanders aren’t getting hurt. So they aren’t exactly friends, but they’re something.

But back to the Rogues. Len assigns Lisa, Shawna, and Hartley to decoration duty. He refuses to be the least festive house on block okay he’s not losing to Mrs. Wilson again. There’s lights outside. A fake waving Santa. Blow up Frosty. He even tells Mark to make it snow over the safe house whenever she walks her dog so he can rub it in her face. He’s super competitive and it really comes out during the holidays. Just wait til the get to the games.

Eventually the Rogues sneak out and plan random heists. It’s only the 10th of December and Len is killing them with all the Christmas stuff. Hell, they even start reading to kids in hospitals, volunteering at shelters, finding any activity they can just so they have an excuse not to step back into that safehouse.

Which totally upsets Len, but he wouldn’t dare tell anyone or let it show. Lisa used to love Christmas just as much as him. He finally has a family –because yeah he doesn’t say it often but that’s basically what they are – to share it with, and they don’t even want to take part in it.

He starts toning it down. Instead of hunting down gifts, searching for the perfect tree, or looking for which safehouse he stored their grandfather’s Christmas ornaments in, he ends up curled up on the sofa watching the same Christmas movies over and over. There isn’t much of a selection when the channel is on abc family and the remote is at the other end of the couch.

He sees maybe one or two Rogues every once and a while but it’s obvious they’re avoiding him.

He even decides to go visit his grandfathers grave. Which he and Lisa usually do together, but he hadn’t been able to find her anywhere.

He probably finishes talking to his grandfather, when he looks up and sees none other than Barry Allen. He’s on the other side of the cemetery towards the bigger tombstones.

He’s got his back to Len but Barry can tell the kid is upset. Shoulders hunched over, arms crossed. Len should probably walk away and give him privacy but his feet seem to have a different opinion, since he makes his way over to Barry anyway.

It’s obvious Barry knows he’s there by the way his shoulders go stiff. Len doesn’t say anything. Just puts his left hand on Barry’s should and uses his other to rub Barry’s back in a (hopefully) soothing manner.

Eventually, Len convinces Barry to let him buy the kid a coffee.

Imagine them sitting in a coffee shop decorated in Christmas lights and tinsel and soft Christmas music playing from the speakers. They pick a quiet table in the back and end up sitting there for hours. Going on about Christmas, their families, pleasant memories, mostly. Barry is surprised to hear that Len is spending his Christmas with the Rogues. He hadn’t realized they were so close.

And Len doesn’t mean to, really. He’s been keeping it bottled up and he isn’t a big fan of spilling his guts but…its Barry. Who looks so sincere and genuinely confused as to why Len is here with him and not back at his safehouse, spending time with his “Merry Band of Misfits” (as Barry so helpful referred to them as earlier). So Len tells him. About how amazing their grandfather was and how he made sure every Christmas they had was special. Each one better than the last. Plenty of food, games, and gifts. Len was old enough to realize how much their grandfather sacrificed to give them all that, and so he’s always been grateful. Made sure he did the same with Lisa. Made sure her Christmas’ and birthdays were amazing, even after their grandfather passed.

So he went all out this year. Trying to make it as extreme and outrageous as it was when they were kids. How he even tried including the rest of the Rogues, but no one seemed to want to join in. That maybe, they should just buy a turkey, exchange gifts, and call it a night like Mark suggested.

(Barry looked scandalized at the prospect of anyone willing spending Christmas that way.)

And Barry’s face can’t decide between a huge grin or a slightly pitying look. Len obviously loved his grandpa and inherited his love for Christmas and all things festive. It was a shame none of the other Rogues wanted to share that too.

Which is when Barry decides that it is his sole purpose in life to get Len back into the Christmas spirit.

They go gift shopping for the Rogues and team Flash. Start finishing up Len’s grocery list. Len helps Barry pick out a Christmas sweater. They sing along to the ridiculous Christmas songs playing on the radio in Len’s truck. Finally pick a Christmas tree (Barry insists on the one with fake snow and Len can’t say ‘no’). Laugh and joke and have way more fun than a hero and his nemesis should probably have.

When they reach the safehouse (which is only one of many, so Len has no problem with Barry knowing where it is), no one is there. Not surprising at this point, seeing as the Rogues are probably still avoiding him.

Barry takes his mind off of that by turning on the music and helping set up the tree they just picked out.

Just imagine them getting the tree set up and talking and laughing while hanging up ornaments. Barry totally spiked the eggnog so Len’s a bit tipsy but his smile is getting brighter and his laughs louder, so Barry doesn’t feel too bad about it. They end up sprawled across the couch, singing along to “All I Want For Christmas Is You” (for the fourth time since they arrived), when the front door opens and the Rogues pile in with at least six bags each.

“Lenny? You home?”

In which Barry freaks out for a good two seconds before realizing that Lisa and the rest of the Rogues don’t know his identity.

“Well, who’s this?” Lisa smirks, handing over her bags to Shawna who drags them up the stairs.

Len just rolls his eyes and ignores her question, offering to walk Barry out.

They’re outside on the porch and it’s extremely awkward because neither of them really know what to say. But before Barry can make up some lame excuse to leave, Len takes two steps closer. Invading his personal space. Barry doesn’t step back, just stares as Len brings both his hands up to cup Barry’s face. He takes his time studying Barry’s face. Signs that he doesn’t want this. The opportunity to step away. But it’s a hundred and twenty seven seconds and there’s no movement. Just Barry bringing his own arms up to wrap around Len’s waist and pull him closer.

Len moves one of his hands so that his thumb can brush against Barry’s lips. Across the bottom one and watching intently as Barry’s tongue darts out to trace over the same path. It’s cold enough that they can see their breaths mingle together as their lips inch closer and closer.

Len takes the same hand and runs it through Barry’s hair. Tilting his head back until Barry’s lips are right up against his. At this point, Len’s lost track of time. He knows they’ve only been at this for a few minutes, but it feels like hours. Days. Like he’s being doing this forever and would have no qualms about continuing it for several lifetimes.

Barry gets impatient because he raises his arms to wrap around Len’s neck and pull him closer and he’s so, so close but then-

“Are you guys going to kiss or what? We don’t have all night. Lisa wants to start the games and this is probably the second hottest thing I’ve ever seen. So get a move on.”

“What the hell, Shawna?” Hartley hisses, pulling her back and standing in the doorway. “Don’t mind her, just pretend we aren’t here.”

Len has to resist the urge to throttle the two. Barry’s face is beet red as he waves a lame goodnight at Len and hurries his way home.

Of course, any anger he had previously completely disappears when he steps into the house. There are games spread across the coffee table. A couple wrapped presents under the tree. Whatever Mick is cooking in the kitchen has filled the entire house and Lisa is smiling up at him in a way that’s all too familiar. It’s like a flashback to memories he thought he’d never have again after their grandfather passed. The smell of a home cooked meal. His sister begging him to play one more round of whatever game she was intent on winning. The same 5 songs on repeat, but different artists every time. It was all too familiar.

Then he looked around. Noticed the rest of the Rogues. The rest of his… family. Smiling and joking and…

Len refused to tear up. Damn Barry for letting him drink.

It’s only a week until Christmas, but no one seems to care. They’re playing the most intense game of drunk charades ever and no one can stop laughing long enough to even finish the game. They take turns choosing movies (which they end up talking through anyway). When no one is paying attention, Hartley sneaks a peak at one of his gifts under the tree, which only earns him a slap across the head from Shawna. Mick’s had more drinks than anyone so he ends up being the first one to pass out. Next is Hartley. Then Shawna, who’s carried up to bed by Mark.

The only ones left are Len and Lisa who sit quietly next to the tree, hot cocoa in hand, talking about their grandfather. About their favorite memories with him and laughing about all the silly traditions he made them participate in as kids.

Eventually, Lisa opens up about the last month. About how much it hurt trying to do everything their grandfather loved without him. But then she saw Len’s face and how upset he was when Lisa wasn’t as into it as he was.

But she couldn’t let him do this alone. They have their own family now, as ragtag as it is, but she loves it. And can’t imagine sharing their grandfather’s special brand of “Christmas Crazy” with anyone else.

They don’t cry. They don’t hug it out. But they definitely come to an understanding and intend on making this Christmas as amazing as it was when they were kids.

Over the next week, Len and Mick start cooking. Preparing most of the meals so that all they have to do is throw it in the oven. They don’t trust anyone else in the kitchen, so everyone is pretty much banned from that area.

Lisa and Shawna are locked upstairs, wrapping all the gifts. Hartley’s good at wrapping too, but they don’t trust him after the other night. So he and Mark are pretty much wandering aimlessly without anything to do. They probably end up going out, seeing what’s going on around town.

This goes on for a couple of days. Eventually, it’s the 23rd and they’ve done pretty much everything. Everything is prepared to be thrown in the oven. The gifts are wrapped and piled under the tree. Mark and Hartley have seen everything there is to see.

Lisa suggests ice skating. Which…isn’t really a suggestion. It’s pretty much mandatory.

While everyone gets ready, Lisa insists Len invite that kid who was there the other day. Obviously, Len cares about him enough to bring him back to their safe house and decorate a Christmas tree with him. Len calls Barry (who’s number he saved in his phone the other day), who immediately agrees to ice skating. Between the West family and Iris and Eddie being all lovey dovey, Barry thinks he’s gonna lose it any moment. He agrees to meet them there.

We need more Barry having fun with the Rogues. Spending time with them and finding out that they’re actually pretty decent people. Mark isn’t his biggest fan, but he gets over it quickly. They’re all pretty good skaters except Hartley. Who doesn’t mind getting made fun of when the cute instructor comes over to help him.

Barry and Lisa end up racing which Len secretly finds hilarious because Barry might be the fastest man alive, but Lisa is probably the best ice skater in Central City. They’re pretty much neck and neck (seeing as Barry is unable to noticeably use his speed) every race but it’s all in good fun.

Eventually Len and Barry end up skating off by themselves after the flood of people start to disappear.

Len ends up thanking him for the other day. Taking time out his probably hectic schedule to help Len out. Even bringing up his conversation with Lisa that same night and man he has got to stop spilling his guts to this kid.

But Barry is obviously happy to hear it. Smiling at Len, he grips the wall next to them. Pushing off of it to skate closer to Len. This time, they don’t waste any time. The kiss is everything Len imagined it’d be. Neither of them can stop smiling into the kiss, even after they hear a camera go off and a flash from their peripheral vision.

“Awwww.” Lisa coos, skating away quickly before Len could even think about catching her.

(Barry and Len totally end up making out in the bathroom while everyone else is still out on the ice.)

Finally, it’s Christmas Eve morning. Approximately 5:09 AM and Len is currently trying to wake up the sleeping rock that is Mick Rory. It’s like no matter how much noise he makes, it doesn’t affect the bigger man at all. He just rolls over and keeps snoring.

After a few more attempts (that may or may not have contained ice), Mick is finally up and ready to go.

By 2, everything is done. The mac and cheese is coming out of the oven, the turkey is taken out of the fryer, all the vegetables have been seasoned, casseroles and dips are set up along the island on the other side of the kitchen, potato salad has been in the refrigerator all morning, rolls are in the oven, drinks have been set out, and the sides have been set out along the table. Everything is just about perfect when the rest of the Rogues pile in in their nicest clothes. Which, shouldn’t be such a big deal. But they never get to dress up so why not?

Hartley looks amazing, of course. One of his best suits tailored to fit him perfectly. Shawna and Lisa both went with red dresses. Different, but similar in the way that they both hugged the women’s bodies perfectly. Mark went with simple slacks and a button down. He’s here to eat okay? Mick is pretty much the same, not wanting to risk anything getting messed up by the food.

Len? We all know Len looks the best. That he went all out with his navy blue three piece suit, even if the only people who were gonna see it were the Rogues. He’s a show off, so what?

Before Len lets them touch anything, he demands they take a group picture. As corny as it seems, Lisa and Len always did this with grandpa Snart. Might as well continue the tradition.

Now. What ends up happening is this.

They fill their plates up. With literally everything they can. Mick and Len’s cooking is amazing and eventually the Rogues are slouching in their seats, unable to move. Hartley is the first to unbutton his suit, sprawl across the couch, and slower enter a food coma. Everyone else seems to think that’s a wonderful idea because they follow his lead and pass out of the couch. Len doesn’t bother putting anything away because he knows they’ll be up in a couple of hours for round two. Then three. So he gets started on dessert. (He totally doesn’t take pictures of them sprawled across the couch nope they have no proof).

He takes off his suit jacket and rolls up his shirt sleeves when there’s a knock at the door. Obviously no one else is going to get it so he straightens his vest and makes sure he looks good before opening the door.

Of course, it’s Barry. In the /ugliest/ Christmas sweater Len has ever set eyes on in all his 40+ years of life.

Len can’t even ask him what he’s doing here because he’s so distracted by the ugliness. It takes him a minute to realize that this isn’t the sweater he helped pick out. It’s a different one. A worse one. It has one of those “press me!” buttons that Len is not at all tempted to press, least the horrendous thing lights up. Or worse, sings a song.

Barry notices what he’s staring at and laughs before saying “Ugly sweater contest. As you can see, I won first place.”

He smiles proudly.

Len has no idea why he’s proud.

“Uh…anyway. Merry Christmas Eve! I was gonna wait until tomorrow but I have a feeling I won’t be able to sneak off that easy. So uhh…here.”

Barry shoves a nicely wrapped gift in his hand and scratches his neck awkwardly when Len just stares down at it.

“Don’t open it now, though. I want you to open it up with Lisa tomorrow. I guess it’s kinda for the both of you. Well… all of you really but… anyway you’re not saying anything so I’m just going to walk away before I change my mind and-”

And of course that’s when Len snaps out of it because Barry really got him a gift? He doesn’t really have anything to give him in return so he does the only thing he can.

“You want to come in? There’s plenty of food.”

Apparently the Wests haven’t finished cooking yet and Barry’s been starved. There’s only so much food he can steal without revealing his secret or getting his hand slapped by Joe’s mother. Again.

So they end up sitting down at the long table, plates full (Barry’s piled much higher than Len’s), and talking about their day. Plans for tomorrow.

And it’s all just too easy. Talking to Barry. Opening up. Inviting him into (one of) his home and feeding him and laughing and talking and…Len just doesn’t get it.

They aren’t exactly friends. Though, isn’t that what you call this? Hanging out? Talking? Feeling so comfortable around a person, that he feels no need to hide or cover things up? Then again, he doesn’t exactly kiss his friends. Or make out with them in bathrooms. So maybe “friends” isn’t the word he’s looking for. But they’re definitely something, judging by the look Barry is sending him from across the table.

So Len decides to stop questioning it. He doesn’t question it when Barry kisses his goodbye. Doesn’t question why he gives Barry left overs to go. Or why he texts him the rest of the evening. Or calls him Christmas morning.

He doesn’t question it when the Rogues have opened all their gifts and Len purposely saves Barry’s for last.

He lets Lisa open it. It’s a simple photo album. Sticky note attached that says something about “To new memories”. He doesn’t understand why she gasps and then tears up when she opens up the first page until he comes up behind her.

It’s an old photograph. Actually, there are several old photographs. The first Christmas they celebrated with their grandfather and every picture they’ve taken with him until his death. The edges are a bit rough, but you can still clearly see their faces. Their genuine smiles, which were pretty rare during those times. Len thought he’d lost those photos, but how?

In that moment, Len is pretty sure he can fall completely in love with this kid. Just…utterly and foolishly in love and it might be complicated and they might argue and Len might even fuck this up but damn if it’s not worth it. This kid could possibly be the best thing to ever happen to him and the thing that made him finally realize it was this damn photo album.

The Rogues practically push him out the door, demanding he go talk to the kid.


kelliiee22  asked:

I am questioning if I use Ne so I will use a timely example. I think it would be nice to take the commercialism out of Christmas (unrealistic as that is)and take the pressure off. But then I enjoyed that type of Christmas why should I not want that for children now. Then I think how sad it is when parents and children feel left out for lack of resources. Is this kind of thinking Ne or a combination of functions? Thanks.

It can be. It sounds potentially like Si-use (personal experience) and a feeling function but that’s … generalizing a bit.

The most Christmassy example of Ne that comes to mind is George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life. Ever seen it? Great old movie. Jimmy Stewart was ♥ .

George is full of ideas. Things he wants to do. Places he wants to go. Stuff he wants to learn about. He’s an idealistic, optimistic child who becomes a bitter, cynical adult because he never gets to pursue his Ne to the fullest. He’s stuck in the same old life in Bedford Falls, but he stays out of Fi/Si loyalty to his dad’s business. His big picture thinking (Ne) realizes if he goes away, the business falls apart and lots of people will be forced to go to Potter, rather than owning a stake in their own life. Even when Potter tries to con him into a job, George’s Ne sees through it – he realizes after his contract is up, Potter will fire him and he’ll have nothing – and his dad’s business will die in the process.

It took him about a minute to work that out. Ne = BAM, here’s what’s going on, your motives here… what you’re doing behind the scenes!

Much of the early film focuses on his Ne – his big ideas, his creative thinking, his desire to see the world become a better place by keeping people out of Potter’s clutches. He promises Mary the moon (literally) and spins a story about pulling it down for her, but at the same time he’s angry about being “tied down” when forced to make a decision (he loves Mary, but marrying Mary means he’s “trapped” in Bedford Falls, and he HATES THINGS STAYING THE SAME). He amuses himself all the time with ideas and stories – enraptured with the IDEA of doing things, more than actually doing them – like when his idea of a perfect evening with Violet (ESFP) is climbing up into the mountains barefoot. The idea appeals to him. It’s not remotely realistic, but it is romantic. He keeps the big picture in focus at all times, continually re-shifting it whenever things happen (he sends his brother to college in his place, thinking he’ll come back and then it’ll be George’s turn for adventures – only to realize his brother now has a better job and a wife to support, which means he’s… stuck).

The second half of the film showcases his lower TeSi – George becomes unhappy, rude, and obnoxious, as he bitterly looks back on a life that in his inferior Si eyes, has become tainted, dull, unrealistic as to what he truly means to his family and friends, and meaningless. It’s only when Clarence shows him a life without him that George regains big picture thinking and natural optimism.

Ne/Si is a continual pull toward progression, change, and renewal – if not in the environment than based in self, in what one knows, in what one thinks. NeSi becomes bored with too much sameness, without external ideas to feed itself. Ideas stick to it like flies on flypaper; it’s very hard for the Ne not to “steal” or “pick up” external perspectives, ideas, viewpoints, beliefs, or philosophies, to carry them around, use them on other people, and discard them once they’ve lost interest in them. NeSi is idealistic and disappointed in life when life fails to live up to its greater potential.

I struggle with Christmas as a Ne, because my Ne wants more. It wants to feel more about it, to feel actual magic, and the magic often isn’t there. But when I ponder what that is, I start wondering what Christmas is supposed to feel like. Has anyone ever felt it? Or do we all sell this idea that Christmas is this great, wonderful, magical time of deep inner emotions – when in reality it’s just another day to most of us, except with “presents tacked on.” Does this magical Christmas feeling exist or is it a myth? Can I capture it by listening to more Christmas music, or watching more Christmas movies, or burning Christmas-scented candles? Am I trying to achieve something impossible, or am I just out of the loop?

What is Christmas? Is it a day? A feeling? A belief? An action? Can you carry the spirit of Christmas with you all year long? What might your life look like if you did? Is it a state of being? An attitude? What would that look like, outside the season itself? Greater continual generosity? A spirit of forgiveness? Happiness over the wonders life holds? The desire to put magic into other people’s lives? What is Christmas? Is it the joy of opening a gift, or seeing a spark of excitement in another’s face when you give them something meaningful, something that lasts beyond the immediate?

Does that make any sense?

- ENFP Mod, whose Ne is fretting this morning because she can’t decide how to spend her day. Will she go with George Bailey now that her heart overflows with sentimental warmth for his plight, after writing this post? Or Love Actually? Or be totally zany and spend four hours with Pratchett’s Hogfather instead? Might it be better to stick around the main house and play games with the family? How does she make it feel like Christmas…?

Merry Christmas, Darling

For @sachlockk-the-sachlockk

Um, headcanon: Connor and Kevin move to Colorado together because there’s a lot of cheap colleges that have deals with Utah (where they’re both from), it’s close to where they used to live, but it’s not nearly as religious and they don’t have to see their families.

TW: Depression, cold, and anxiety.

But I swear this is fluffy!

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47) "Why?" (part 2)
  • Anon 2: Do one where everyone tells Sammy why they love y/n, not just because y/n and Sam are dating but they have an actual reason why. title it "why?"
  • (SUPER LONG!!!!!!)
  • (This one is going to be more conversational. So this one is different than usual. enjoy. )
  • Sammy's POV
  • J: Aye Sammy, where's Y/N?
  • Me: She's in Y/H/T
  • G: When does she get here?
  • Me: She's not coming.
  • Mike: Oh, she's coming for christmas then?
  • Me: Nope
  • Nate: Wait, what? Are you going to her or something?
  • Me: No. We got in an argument last week. We were talking about when we get here for thanksgiving then she was like she's going to Y/H/T for thanksgiving so I was like ok we can go to Y/H/T for thanksgiving then you can come for christmas. Then she said she was going back to Y/H/T for christmas. And I was like wtf. We can't go to your family both times. What about mine? Basically she said SHE'S going home for the holidays and not spending time with me or my family. She did not want to tear me away from my family and she didn't want me to tear her away from her family!
  • G: Wtf that's kind of dumb. Madison is coming here for both events!
  • Me: SEE! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! and I'm so fucking mad and irritated with this!
  • Annie: Sammy, you need to realize that she doesn't get to spend time with her family very often! You don't either! She wants you to spend time with everyone while she spends time with everyone!
  • Me: But it's the holidays! I want her to spend time with us for her to enjoy how we are and I want to do the same with her family!
  • Emily: That's understandable but Sammy,
  • Me: But nothing! If Madison can come, she should come!
  • Emily: Y/N and Madison are two totally different girls! They do things differently! They think differently! And you can't expect Y/N to do something because Madison does it! You can't expect Y/N to dress how Madison dresses! You can't expect her to react or feel the same way. She's not Madison! You have to respect that!
  • G: None taken. but *WHY*? just curious. I won't get mad.
  • Ben: Oh, I have my reason. When we first met Y/N, we asked her, her opinion on things. Yo, she is straight up real. I asked her, if one or more of sam's friends does not like you, what would you do? and she straight up said, "If one or more of his friends do not like me, and I did EVERYTHING I could for them to like me, then we will have to break up." I asked her why? she said "if they are friends, especially close friends, then he will consider them family! If family does not like me, that's it! Done deal. Because that is God's way of telling me, WE DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER! That there is someone out there more compatible for him and his friends and family! Never will I make a guy put me before his family and friends. I just came along the way, but them, they were there from the beginning. And I'm not going to waste my time on some bs relationship when I could be out there looking for the right one for me." After she said that, I gained so much respect for her!
  • Emily: I REMEMBER THAT! I remember asking her, her opinion on like, no offense Jack, but nudes, sex tapes, and leaked nudes. She said, "I feel sorry for the leaked nudes because they trusted someone and then they lost their trust. But at the same time, it's hard for me to be sympathetic because no matter how much you like someone, no matter how much you want to "fuck them," nudes are degrading. You were the one who decided to send them, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRUSTED THE PERSON, YOU still sent them. It's hard for me to have an opinion. But at the same time it's disgusting how people are hating on the girls who do send it out like, why are we not hating the person that leaked it? Why are we destroying these girls' lives because of their trust in someone who threw that shit away? I love Madison, and I fucking HATE what people say about her because of this bullshit. LIFE HAPPENS. MISTAKES ARE MADE. GET OVER IT. In my opinion, the way I'd do it, I'd say, "the only time you'll see this booty and tits, you gotta be here physically, with your face between my legs. Until then, you gone have to wait."
  • Annie: I remember asking her about past relationships/hook ups and her past sexual experiences. She said, "I've had 2 real boyfriends in the past. Got cheated on both of them. So I'm very blocked off with my heart. As for past sexual experiences, I'm a virgin. so nothing to tell. As for hook ups, it's not that I won't do hookups, but I just haven't. I'm not going to have some random drunk guy stick his tongue down my throat. Nasty. I'm very conserved. If people do that stuff, do you. I'm not judging, but that kind of stuff, not my thing. And I'm not willing to just give my virginity to just ANYONE. It's not that I'm waiting for marriage, it's just I'm waiting for the right guy. Someone worth waiting for, as corny as it sounds, it's true." Since that, I've loved her.
  • Emily & Ben: Same.
  • J: Nate, Mike and I had a deep talk with her one time at like i think 3 am. When G and Madison were on a date and Sam was in New York.
  • (to be continued. these are too long for just one post. sorry!)

Title: give em here, give em here

Pairing: RoyalChaos

Rating: T

Summary: five times Ze and Chilled said “I love you” and one time they didn’t have to. inspired by and loosely based on Watsky’s “Sloppy Seconds

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Xmas with Suga & BTS

So I got a scenario request for Suga and I don’t think I’m quite ready to start up scenarios so I decided to do one of these ‘Would includes’ for him. 
This is centered on Suga mainly (ft a bit of the other members) 
If you guys want any of the other members please let me know!

Originally posted by yoongijae

He’s really excited 

  • Because even though he cant spend this xmas with his family he has you and the members
  • You guys decide to spend xmas eve alone 
  • And then Xmas with the members
  • So on Xmas even he takes full advantage
  • You guys just stay at home watching Xmas movies 
  • Literally everything Xmas
  • Just chilling 
  • Drinking hot cocoa
  • You come up with the idea of baking cookies
  • “You can just call me when they're finished”
  • “No we have to make them together it'll be better that way”
  • It takes a couple minutes of groaning and pulling until he actually lazily walks over to the kitchen
  • He just sits there
  • “Yoongi you actually have to help me if you want any”
  • More groaning 
  • And complaining 
  • “Wait what is this for?”
  • “What does his do again?”
  • “Wait what do I do?”
  • Most of the time he wont know what hes doing 
  • “Hey y/n”
  • When you turn around hed wipe the batter on your cheek
  • Youd both end up with ingredients all over the both of you
  • Youd smell smoke 
  • Realizing the cookies were burning 
  • Hed still eat the cookies 
  • Because he doesnt want them to go to waste
  • And appreciates the effort you both put in it
  • “We should build a fort itll be more comfier” He’d suggest
  • He comes out with an ugly xmas sweater and loads of blankets and pillow
  • “Here put this on” Hed give you  a matching sweater 
  • “Ohhh so youre into the cheesy stuff now huh?” Youd tease
  • “They were on sale. Jin made me buy them” 
  • Liesssss
  • Even though he wasnt much into the cheesy stuff he decided to buy them just this once to be festive and do something nice for you
  • Pillow fights 
  • Hed get tired out really easily
  • So youd to most of the building for the fort
  • “You barely helped this is my fort now”
  • At the end you let him in 
  • And cuddled more 
  • You were falling asleep when all of a sudden you hear him whispering 
  • “I really love you, Im not the cheesy affectionate guy, and Im really glad youre okay with that. Im working on a song maybe thatll say the words I cant say to you. Thank you for creating good memories with me. I hope that in the future we can create more. You mean a lot to me”
  • Hed confess thinking you were asleep 
  • “I love you”
  • “Wait you were suppose to be asleep! No you werent suppose to hear any of that!”
  • “Just shut up and kiss me you Mint Sugar”
  • Make out session
  • “You taste like peppermint” 
  • “Wait hold up this is my favorite part”
  • Hed oull away getting sucked into the movie again 
  • Youd fall alseep 
  • And wake up on the bed
  • With Yoongis arms around your waste 
  • You try waking him up 
  • Which took about 10 minutes
  • New record 
  • “I think thats the fastest its ever taken me to wake you up”
  • “Never mind im going back to sleep”
  • “Min Yoongi its Xmas please get up now!”
  • “okay okay fine. Where are my presents?”
  • “Theyre downstairs”
  • “Can you carry me”
  • All the members coming over 
  • You and Jin trying to make breakfast for the 8 of you 
  • While all the members are playing cideo games 
  • And trying to peak at their presents
  • V and J hope drag everyone outside to play in the snow 
  • Snow ball fights
  • Yoongi complaining the entire time about being tired 
  • Sitting around the tree giving out presents and opening them together
  • Yoongi gave you the written lyrics for the song he wrote you, which you just tucked away excited to hear it. Deciding it was better to read them later
  • He gave you a necklace too 
  • And small things he knew you liked
  • You found  a box of condoms with Yoongis name on it 
  • But no one wanted to say who it was from 
  • You knew it was the maknae line
  • Just fooling around 
  • Taking selfies with everyone
  • Singing Xmas songs really badly 
  • With Yoongi getting way too into it 
  • And singing off key purposely 
  • Some dressed as Santa 
  • And other as elfs
  • REALLY good food made from Jin
  • LOTS of Xmas treats because the maknae line sneaked in all of them 
  • Yelling from Jin about how unhealthy it was 
  • Staying up really late
  • Talking about random things
  • And laughing until youre all about to pee your pants
  • Or either on the floor 
  • Because hes so happy the entire time!!!!
  • Making good memories with all the members
  • When you get home Yoongi tells you he has one more present
  • And he gives you a box in which you find red lingerie. 
  • Hed bite his lip getting a little shy scratching the back of his neck
  • “I still have enough energy if you wan-”

[Masterlist]{Christmas Posts}
Feel free to request any reactions, or snapchats for the following groups: 24k, bts, exo, got7, seventeen, and monsta x

Originally posted by vmiin

Originally posted by syubbie


In case you missed the original post, here’s what’s going on.  

Alright! Time to begin the countdown to Christmas by starting with my new darlings Simon Snow and Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, from Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On.  We will be working backwards, so today is ‘Day Twelve′ (in case there was any confusion.)  

Picture set by me, though I don’t own the images, featuring Dylan Forsberg as Simon, and Ezra Miller as Baz.  2.5K words, no smut, set after the book (i.e. SPOILERS!) starts out angsty but has a happy ending :-) Also, this was the first time I’ve written in the 1st person in about 15 years - it was strange but fun! 

Tagging @ourloveislegendrarry @goldentruth813 @oh-my-drarry @sprout2012 @raykkenoha @a-eliz and @indigoprinceofslytherin

Also tagging some of the new SnowBaz blogs that I’ve been enjoying over the past few weeks @mitsouparker @ichooseyousimonsnow @snowandbaz @snowflake-soup - thanks for spreading the Carry On love! xxx


Twelve Drummers Drumming


   I’m not sure how long I’ve been lying on mine and Penny’s couch for, but it was sort of light outside when I started.  Now it’s dark.  I just can’t seem to find the energy to move, other than the shivering that set in a little while ago.  I’m cold, even with my wings wrapped around me, but there aren’t any blankets nearby and I can’t seem to get up.

  So I’m cold, and I’m numb, but I think that’s sort of comforting.  I was too filled up with messy thoughts earlier, crashing round my skull like a hurricane.  The numbness has quietened that down, I’ve hugged myself into a chilly, empty oblivion and for now, that’s enough.

  My eyes are sore from dried salty tears, and every now and again my chest shudders with a dry sob, reminding me I’m still here, in my flat, crammed with nothing but nothingness.

  I want to disappear.  

  The front door opens and I jump where I lay, but almost immediately I curl back in on myself, only dimly aware of someone stepping inside from the bright light of the landing.  “Simon?” Baz calls.  “Bloody hell, what are you doing moping in the dark?”  He laughs and closes the door, but something even icier slides down through my guts, and it’s all I can do to turn and bury my face into the corner of the sofa, hands clasped and hugging to my t-shirt, wings tight against my body.

  I expect him to flick all the lights on behind me, to bring me kicking unpleasantly back into reality, but he doesn’t.  

  I hear soft shuffling noises, and I picture him toeing off his shoes and placing his shopping bags down.  He’d left to buy presents hours ago, teasing me about how I wasn’t worth the trouble and probably wouldn’t appreciate what he was going to get me.  I knew he was joking, I knew it, but somehow it had burrowed into my brain and dug up a shed load of stuff I had purposefully not been thinking about all December.

  But here we were, on Christmas Eve, and there was no more hiding away from the truth.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, thinking Baz has shaken his head at me and gone into the bathroom, leaving me to my sulk, when a cool hand slips over my hip, and the couch dips with the weight of another body.

  “What’s wrong love?” he murmurs, a kindness that still surprises me clear in his words.  

  I manage a small shake of the head.  “Nothing,” I tell him, my voice coming out in a rasp.  But he knows I’m lying, I don’t have to see his face to know.  He just presses his body up to mine, his hand clasping my tensely entwined ones, his lips brushing against the back of my head.  

  “Why are you sad?” he tries again, managing to get his other arm under my neck.  He trails his fingers across my clavicles and sends shivers over my skin.  (The good kind this time, it wakes me up a little bit.)  “I didn’t mean it, about the presents.  You know I’ve spent half the Pitch fortune trying to impress you, which is pointless because I know you’ll be impressed with little more than a pair of socks and a dog whistle.”

  I can’t help but close my eyes again and let through half a smile.  He must see it or feel it because his hands become a little more active, stroking my chest and my stomach as he plants tentative light kisses against my hair.  “Are you fretting your present isn’t good enough for me?  Because I was serious about that thing you did to me the other night, I’ll have that as my present any time.”

  I smile again, but it’s short lived and I fold in on myself once more, the grief and anger I’ve been shoving down trying to burst its way back through.  

  “Love?” he whispers.  He rarely calls me that.  Only when he knows we’re alone, and manages to shake off that resilient vulnerability that won’t leave him be.  Or if he’s smashed off his face.  

  “It’s Christmas Eve,” I say.  It seems like the best explanation I can muster right now.  

  He lifts his free hand and brushes one of my curls from off my forehead.  “I know,” he replies.  “Is that why you’re sad, because of Christmas?”

  I swallow, wishing he’d just guess without me having to say it, but the silence stretches on and I know he’s waiting for me to break it.  “I…” I start, scrambling around for the right words.  I’ve never been good with words.

  My face scrunches up again, and I grab onto his hands like they’re anchoring me in place. I can’t hurt him, but I grip harder, wanting to make him flinch.  But of course he doesn’t, he just pulls me in closer, nuzzling his face into my hair and throwing his leg over mine.  

  My stupid tail betrays me by winding around his thigh and knee, and I let out a whimper.  What a twat.  I want him to let go, to be angry at me and shout, but I’m so selfish I’m just pulling him in deeper.  “I ruined everything,” I finally manage to spit out into the small crevice between the couch cushions.  If I can’t say it to his face, I can say it to the upholstery at least.

  “Don’t be silly,” Baz replies without pause.  “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

  There shouldn’t be a ‘we’, that’s my point, why is he making this difficult?  “You should be with your family, it’s Christmas Eve,” I try again.

  This seems to genuinely throw him a little.  “We’re seeing them tomorrow?” he says, rubbing my knuckles that I can see have gone white, even in this dim light.  He can see everything of course, just another way he’s better than me.  “After presents, we’ll drive down, it’s absolutely fine I promise.”

  “But it’s not fair,” I counter.  “You should be with them, they’re like you.”

  Baz sighs, and I can hear the hint of impatience in it.  “There’s no one like me Snow.”  

  “They’re magickal,” I counter.  “They share your history, they’re your world, you should be with them.”

  He pulls away slightly.  Good, I snarl at myself, ignoring the fissures growing in my heart.  “And not with you?” he asks.

  “I’m not like you,” I whisper.  “I destroy everything – I destroyed it.”

  He sighs once more, but this time it’s tender, and I panic.  Before I can move though, he’s got me in his clutches again, his grip tighter than ever.  “It’s Christmas Eve,” he says, and this time, I know he understands.  

  “It was me all along,” I breath, determined not to chicken out.  “It was me, I caused the Humdrum, and he took so much magic from so many people – from you. Your family.  Why-”  My voice cracks but I growl it out.  “Why would you pick me over them?”

  “Because I love you you idiot,” he insists affectionately, and starts kissing up my neck, nibbling lightly at my earlobe, which is just playing dirty.  He knows I love his sharp teeth as much as he loves my tail and wings.  Snakes we’re so fucked up.

  “I’m broken,” I argue.  “I lost my magic, I deserved to lose it.  I killed the Mage, I ruined Christmas-”

  “No,” he says firmly.  So firmly, I blink and actually look back at him finally.  He’s lifted himself up and is looking down at me with fierce grey eyes.

  “No?” I say.

  “No,” he repeats.  “You haven’t ruined Christmas.”  He softens a little and kisses my shoulder, his eyes alive and fixed on mine as he rests his head between my arm and where my wing is curled.  “I know it’s been a year, and I’m sorry but I was ignoring the anniversary on purpose.  I know how bad with dates you are, I stupidly hoped you’d forget.”

  I scowl at him, and he rolls his eyes.

  “Okay, long shot, but Snow.  That doesn’t matter.  That was just one day.  That’s not Christmas.”

  “Then what is?” I ask.  Because I’ve been flinching away from carols, crackers and Christmas trees for weeks. Everything festive just reminds me of how much I failed, how I’m not worthy of being with someone so powerful as Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.  I almost destroyed all of magic, fuck, I ate up enough of it over eight years.  And on Christmas Day I gave it all back and became nothing.

  “Christmas,” Baz begins, kissing my neck and jaw and ear between words.  “Is you showing up on my doorstep, covered in mud, no idea what you were doing other than getting to me.  Christmas is you not being able to think of any other way to stop me killing myself other than kissing me.  Christmas is you sleeping next to me for the millionth time but sleeping with me for the first time. Christmas,” he emphasises, his voice heavier.  “Is when I stopped loving alone.  It’s when we found each other, and you saved the world and then I saved you, even though you didn’t really need it.  You just let me hug you and that was enough.  Christmas is us Simon, and I won’t have you trying to tell me it’s anything else.”

  “It was the end,” I say, but my heart’s not really in it anymore.

  He manages to turn me a bit so we’re face to face, and he places a tender kiss on my lips. I’ve been cold, freezing, for so many hours, but the feel of his cool mouth on mine relights the spark, and warmth floods through my skin.  “It was the beginning,” he argues, and I feel like I haven’t really got the fight in me to rebuff.  He senses victory, and smirks.  “People think Christmas is about presents and food and getting time off work and school – but it’s not.”

  “It bloody well is,” I argue.  I know what it’s like not to have Christmas as a child.  I made the most of every second if it since I started at Watford, but now it’s been spoilt all over again.

  But Baz just grins indulgently down at me before kissing me again.  “Okay it is.”

  “And it’s about baby Jesus,” I point out.

  “That’s for Normals.”

  “They invented it.”

  “Stop changing the subject.”  He’s managed to worm his way completely on top of me, limbs entwined and hair falling into mine.  “Christmas comes down to one thing.”  I’m tempted to say something stupid, I still want him to stop being nice to me.  But I don’t.

  Because I’m weak.  And I love him so much.  

  “It comes down to love,” he says, reading my mind, fingertips ghosting along the side of my face, and shivers, the best kind this time, flurry down my body.  “Being with who you love, showing them how much you love them.  And I hate to break it to you Simon Snow, but I love you enough to fill a dozen lifetimes.  So stop trying to ditch me.”

  I try and swallow down the tears, but I feel one slip down my face.  He wipes it away, regarding me fondly and warmly, making my heart beat like a drum.  “I love you too,” I whisper.  

  “Good,” he says, and I feel like there’s genuine relief in his features.  “Because I doubt your presents are refundable.”

  I crack and give him a light wallop, but he’s laughing and wrestling back, until we’re a panting mess amidst a pile of dishevelled cushions.  His hands are lost somewhere up my shirt and my lips are tender from grappling with his.  “When are you going to stop fighting me Snow?”

  “It’s a hard habit to break,” I say, trailing my hand through his hair.

  He’s searching my face, and if I had any room I’d shy away, but he’s got me pinned into the sofa and there’s no escaping just yet.  “I’ll never give up,” he murmurs.  “Not until you see.”

  “See what?” I ask.  It comes out a little pitiful, but I don’t really care.  Baz has witnessed everything I have to give, he knows me inside and out. And one day I know he’s going to realise it’s not enough.  But he’s in my thoughts again, and he rests our foreheads together.

  “That you’re not broken,” he says.  “That you may have lost your magic but you’re still magickal to me.  That you were never a fraud, that you were always the Greatest Mage and I love you even more because you gave it all up.  To save us.  To save me.”

  He’s saying all the things he said at the leaver’s ball, but they’re harder to take in with Christmas hanging in the air. So I swallow and close my eyes, the best I can do in lieu of an escape.  

  “Do you think I’m lying?” he asks.

  That makes me look at him again.  “No,” I stutter.  “That’s not-”

  “Then what?” He’s not being hostile, if anything he’s pleading.  

  I take in a deep breath, slowly.  “I think you believe that,” I concede.  

  He looks at me a moment, then nods.  “Okay,” he says.  “And…do you trust me?”

  That’s a stupid question.  “Yes,” I answer hastily.  Even though, after so many years swearing I could never even think about trusting my vampire roommate, it seems almost laughable. But I trust Baz with my heart and soul. “But it doesn’t make you right.”

  “Yes it does,” he sniffs good naturedly.  “But that’s okay Snow, I don’t have to convince you tonight.  I know it’ll get better, and next Christmas, it won’t seem so bad, and I’ll have to convince you a little less.  In the meantime, I think I’ll just keep loving you, incessantly, I’ll make you sick with it, and you’ll start to forget to be mad at yourself more and more.”

  “You really think that will work?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.  “You’re going to love me into distraction, kiss me so I stop hating myself?”

  “Yes,” he says, pleased with himself.  “In fact I’ll do one better.”

  I pause, but he’s waiting for me to bite, so I do.  “What?” I ask.  “How?”

  He cards his fingers through my hair, and I lean into his touch.  “By reminding you every chance I get how much you love me. That you make me sick with it.”

  He’s got me there.  My love for him is like a beast that aches in my chest, and it’s very easy to give into it. “You think that’s enough?” I ask, the tiniest hint of hope in my voice.  “You think love will be enough to heal us?”

  “It’s Christmas,” he replies firmly.  “All you need is love.”


anonymous asked:

Can you maybe do walkthroughs for the different routes in the christmas stories or least hint at how to get the endings for the different people?

OH GOODNESS i’m not sure since i’m so lost myself here and there’s quite a few chats I don’t think i’ll have time to make a full walkthrough but here’s some advice on how to get certain endings!!

It’s very similar to the actual game, but not quite.
You have no idea who you’re getting until almost the very end where you actually get the ending, and it’s hard to
“ avoid ” hearts since I noticed a lot of my responses rewarded hearts ( mainly to Yoosung and Jaehee ) when I didn’t want them too and I was worried that would screw with the ending I was going for, AKA Jumins but I got it by being really mean to Zen ;( , and I didn’t find any responses that broke hearts so don’t worry about that. There’s also some options to break the forth wall which is entertaining ~~

For Zen do what you would normally do, The cringey cute compliments like you wanna lick his abs lmao. He talks about how lonely he is a lot so encourage him you’re gonna be by his side and you have feelings for him to get his ending.
Also he’s going to call you at about 50% done with the first day ( I believe ) and for the love of god answer because you will get a nose bleed if you pick the option to go “ muah ” at him hOO BOY

For Jumin it was actually super hard like? Stuff I SWORE he’d agree with in the casual route he didn’t here, I was confused but just agree with him on most everything, pick “ mature ” and sophisticated answers, and call him funny whenever he makes a joke. You’ll know you’re on his route when he starts thanking you a lot and becoming warmer towards everyone. You’re gonna get a phone call of him late at night ( in real time I believe it might be like 12 am or 3 am ) being super emotional and don’t pick the shitty options, encourage him to go on and talk about his feelings.

For Yoosung stay positive positive positive. Talk about how much you love Christmas and encourage him that it’s great he’s not gaming on Christmas Eve and how he’s working hard. He’s super easy to reward hearts to, you just have to be nice to him and most likely you’re set. You’re going to get a phone call of him being jealous, but don’t call him cute. He got a little upset when I said he was being cute whoops!

For Jaehee encourage the heck out of her. She’s super stressed so just listen to her and give her advice!! Ask how she’s doing and tell Jumin to ease up on the work whenever he comes in the chat room. Fangirl about Zen too. You’ll get a phone call of her wanting to go to Zens show and please for the love of god tell her you’re going to go with her because she flips out in the cutest way when you do.

For Seven literally smash that mf like button if you hate christmas
Okay no, don’t hate it but don’t enjoy it either. Talk about how you’re going to stay home, how its just another day, etc. It seems like he doesn’t like Christmas at all so .. agree with him most of the time. And play along with his jokes too obviously!! I never received a phone call from him while playing for some reason.

I’m not 100% sure how to get the other two endings however I did notice I earned around 5 white hearts in a conversation and then Unknown texted me right away after that saying some pretty interesting things. Not sure if that has anything to do with those hearts? it but still it was cool! I’ll be going for Sevens ending and playing most all of tonight so I’ll keep you guys updated with pictures of the chats and such; obviously they’ll be marked as spoilers though and under the cut!