because it will explode into a million pieces

Context: this party of ours that had two drows, two warforged, a half demon, and one stupid dwarf. A jarl told us to get rid of this pirate that was disrupting the town. They turned out to be some type of God, unknown to us at the time.

Dwarf: I’m gonna make a hole and plug a barrel gunpowder in it just in case.

Others on the ship: *trying to convince the pirate to just leave*

Dwarf: *just listening on a dingy when he hears shouting, rows boat away, pulls out fire arrow, proceeds to shoot at barrel because sh*t is about to go down*

DM: roll for hit

Dwarf: *rolls 1*

DM: well shit *looks at party’s faces* I’m so sorry.
you shot the arrow and hit your mark, but the barrel was place where all the rest of the gunpowder was. You proceed to contemplate what you have just done as the whole boat begins to explode into millions of pieces.
Roll for damage…… ha just kidding anyone in a 500 yard radius has died a very painful death.

Rest of the party: this is why we don’t like dwarfs.

Sf9 As HighSchool Students That Has A Crush On You

Inseong: Head Of The Student Council, Sits in The Front Of The Class And Always makes an excuse to look back, taking a quick glance at you. Loves to volunteer to pass out papers so he can be near you but HATES presenting in front of the class because he somehow always messes up his words and ends up a stuttering mess. The type to never talk to you but just admire from afar

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Jaeyoon: President of the radio Club. Confesses To You Already and Is Super Persistent On Trying To Win You Over. Basically everyone in the schools know he likes you and he likes it that way so you’re off the market. Announcements are always like: “Goood morning students~and good morning to my lovely soon to be be lover~ the most beautiful girl in the world~ Y/n~!’

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Rowoon: Captain Of The Baseball Team. Always buys you lunch and puts it on your desk as he walks past ‘cooly’. Always tries to show off his muscles and physique when you’re around (wearing a tight white shirt when it’s freezing outside) and acting cool but when you’re not around he’s a softball, squealing and fanboying to himself after he just saw you a few seconds ago. “Omygod she looked so cute today!”

Originally posted by ruwoons

Youngbin: Class President. Picks on you to help him clean up after class. Always ask you to help him get stuff and pass out papers and makes it an opportunity to make conversation and become friends. Always takes the blame for you when you get in trouble. Let’s you copy his homework or even give you his homework or textbook when you forget.

“Answers to the next test?, no problem~!”

Originally posted by sf9

Dawon: Class Clown, Everyone’s Friends/ Very Popular. Always says hi to you every morning when you come into class and always try to make you laugh; you two eventually joke around from time to time alot in class. Will often zone out during conversations with his friends because he was low-key looking at you. Invites you to his party alot to have more time with you.


Originally posted by sf9

Zuho: Captain Of The Basketball Team. The one who picks on you alot as a way of being affectionate. Acts like a big brother, annoying you alot to the point where you either start to hate him or friendzone him. Will cockblock everyone who tries to get to you and always walks you home even you’re like Zuho I can walk home by myself.” “I have somewhere to go and it’s in the same direction.” You say that everyday.” Teases you about everything but secretly loves every quirk you have.

“Oh my god…she’s cute *heart explodes into a million pieces*

Originally posted by namjiwssi

Taeyang: President Of The Dance Club. Scans the crowd alot to see if you’re there when he’s on stage. Loves to perform for you and makes alot of eye contact and fan service even when sometimes it’s a bit too overboard and the other girls in the crowd glare at you because it’s obvious he’s giving you all the attention. Tries to talk to you alot in the hallways during passing classes, ends up walking you to class every time because you both were caught up in the conversation. Jealous easily-Interrupts your conversations with other guys like “So did you like my performance yesterday?”

(The Class President And Class Clown Tryna Talk To You When Taeyang breaks the conversation).

Originally posted by sf9

Hwiyoung: The Quiet Kid From The Orchestra Band That Plays The Cello. Doesn’t scan the crowd for you because he knows you’re there while profusely sweating but still manages to do a great performance-is so proud of himself afterwards.  Sits in the back of the class and glances over alot. Will try to come up to you often but always returns back to his seat midway. Always stare at you when he sees you from across the campus walking (type to stare until he runs into a pole or something).  Writes love notes and leaves it in your locker or desk but it’s always anonymous.

Originally posted by kangchaneee

Chani: Popular kid that every girl likes, even the older girls like him but he never really cares about them because all he sees is you. Basically isn’t fazed when girls are around him but whenever you’re around he runs away dramatically or hides (even though he makes it really obvious he’s trying to get away from you). You think he hates you or something but he actually likes you alot. Asks his friends how to talk to you but when his buddies finally gets you to hangout with them and him on the weekands, he won’t know what to do and will keep looking like he doesn’t want to be there.

“Taeyang…why do I see her walking over to us?”

“I invited her!”

“whisper to himself: omygod..

Originally posted by kangchaneee

(I made this reaction from my own request LMAO). Hope it’s good, if it is I will make one for Pentagon!

Like In The Movies

Author: @dylan-trash-tbh

Pairing: Stuart x Reader

Words: 3147

A/N : and now everyone: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND THIS IS NOT EDITED. Please keep that in mind. There are probably some mistakes.

the lovely @lovelydob and @morethanonefandom sent me some promts 💕😊I really hope you aren’t disappointed with this.. 

Thank you for giving me the courage to post this piggie  🐷💖you already know how much I love you @golddaggers


Originally posted by dylanholyhellobrien

Keep reading

NCT's reaction to you finding out that the reason they dated you was because of a bet

Request: “NCT127 + jeno reacting to you finding out that the reason they approached you was because of a bet even though you’re an item now and they’ve actually fallen for you. I’m in the mood for a bit of angst.” & “Can you do a nct dream reaction where you figure out that they only started dating you because of a bet? (I am sorry for my lame english, it’s not my first language). I love your writing btw💕💕” & “U should do an entire nct reaction to you finding oit they dated you cause of a bet!”

A/N: I did this at school, lmao.


Once you tell him about it and ask him if that rumor that you heard was true or not, Taeil would only answer you with silence. He wouldn’t be able to even look at you in the face as you start making your own hypothesis out loud about the situation. “Taeil, please, talk to me.” He would finally look at you with teary eyes, leaving you speechless. Even he can feel you heart breaking in a half as you leave the room.

Originally posted by nakamotens


“No, Y/N, please hear me out a little.” Johnny loves you deeply, and there’s no way he’s going to lose you. He would be really upset with himself in the moment, but his main priority would be to make you know his part of the story, how the bet started, how he ‘accidentally’ feel in love with you and how now he’s completely disposed to do whatever he has to just to make you feel happy again. If you broke up with him, that wouldn’t stop him. Everyday he would treat you in a even more sweetly and caring way, trying his best to make you feel loved.

Originally posted by exoticnctlife


Taeyong would be completely heartbroken, but wouldn’t dare to lie to you anymore. Everyday this secret was killing him inside, and once he finally confirms you that rumor he wouldn’t be able to even react once you leave the room. He would feel like he deserves it and would be constantly blaming himself and feeling that he doesn’t have the energy to do anything. But, like Johnny, he would start treating you more kindly, even if you treat him like shit.

Originally posted by nctaezen


Yuta probably would be really immature about the whole thing. He would still call you and text you and won’t let you alone until both of you can talk properly about it. But the truth is that he’s always him the one that doesn’t listen to you. He only has one thing in mind and is that he doesn’t want to lose you, and that he won’t. He already planned a whole future with you, and he’s going to do the impossible to make it happen.

Originally posted by yutaf


“No, Y/N… I-I can explain.” Kun would said with a soft, gentle voice and a serious expression on his face. He would give short and slow steps until he’s in front of you and, if he gets your permission, he would grab your hands and maybe even comfort you with one of his warm hugs. But if you’re not in the mood he would let you go, understanding that you’ll need some time to think about it and promising himself to let you alone because he knows that you deserve someone better.

Originally posted by hansoulji


Doyoung would get really angry at himself for being so stupid. He would try to explain you but you would be too done with him to even want to listen, making him explode. It would be one of the most heated fights you had ever had and both of you would be screaming at each other the whole time. Until he doesn’t see the tears and the fear in your eyes he wouldn’t realize that he’s being a dick and that he’s only making things even worst.

Originally posted by mvpgyu


“N-no, Y/N, it’s a misunderstanding… listen to me, please.” Ten’s heart would broke in a million of pieces because he knows that perfectly that he fucked up terribly. In anyways he would still try to explain himself, walking beside you as you’re leave the place but eventually giving up. Everything would change for him, he would find himself crying in long sleepless nights and with a serious expression in the day, you may recive some texts and even calls from him in those painful nights, but if he doesn’t get a response he would let you alone, still feeling deeply sad.

Originally posted by prince-kun


He would react in a similar way to Taeil. He would have teary eyes and a lump in his throat. But even if he’s like this, he would still try to explain you everything before you leave him. And once you do Jaehyun would only spend the rest of the day locked in his room, without eating or sleeping and just being deeply lost in his thoughts.

Originally posted by nct-10


Pretty much like Taeil and Jaehyun. He would react with tears and a deadly silence, but wouldn’t want to bother you anymore. He wouldn’t try to call you or even send you one last text. Instead, he would lock himself in his room and spend the whole time there, thinking about how stupid he has been and crying his eyes out because he has lost you forever.

Originally posted by fairyprincewinwin


Mark wouldn’t even try to make up a excuse, not even explaining you what happened. When you came to his room, and started to ask him for an explanation while being on the verge of tears his whole energy went down and he couldn’t even talk because of how ashamed he was. Also, he’s fully aware of what he did and you’re in completetly right to be mad at him. He would just whisper you a sincere apology and look at you leave the room with a serious expression.

Originally posted by meekokohaku


“Y/N, no, please listen to me.” Renjun would hold you close, crying on your shoulder as he tries to explain the whole situation to you, but eventually he would let you go. A strong pain would accompany him the whole day, impeding him to concentrate I’m anything.

Originally posted by jyudai


Once he sees tears on your eyes Jeno would run to whenever you are just to comfort you. You would raise your voice and act in a really rude way whenever he tried to touch you, only achieving to confuse him until you finally say it. “Stop trying to comfort me, Jeno! Or is that also part of the bet?” He would froze on his spot after hearing your words, unable of talk but still capable to hug you. And he won’t let you go no matter how hard you try to escape from his embrace.

Originally posted by thenextnctunit


“Uh, no, Y/N, d-don’t misunderstand it…” He would try to calm at the heartbroken you with his words, but everytime he would only get to make the whole situation even worst. Donghyuck would explain everything to you, insulting his inmature self and giving you the right to be angry at him, but would also let you know how deeply in love he is with you now and how he doesn’t wan’t to lose you.

Originally posted by haenyan


Jaemin would answer you with a deadly silence that would let you know that yes, he did started this whole thing because of a stupid bet but wouldn’t do anything to avoid your leaving. He believes that someone who broke your heart doesn’t even deserve to have the privilege of seeing your pretty face or even talk  to you, and that’s what he just did, broke your heart in pieces. He would hate himself for his childish decision and would be a mess for the rest of the days, feeling guilty and disgusted of himself.

Originally posted by randomnctgifs


Chenle’s reaction would be exactly like Mark’s. He wouldn’t even be able to look at you or answer something back to that painful question that you just asked him, he would answer with a sigh and wait for you to leave him alone to start letting his feelings of devastation ans shame out. He would cry and even send you a few texts really late at night but he would also get embarrased of them, eventually he would give up and let you alone.

Originally posted by randomnctgifs


Surprisingly, Jisung wouldn’t give up on you too easily. He would let flowers in the entrace of yout house, send you texts, calls, even wait for you to go out of school to walk you home and hopefully have the oportunnity to talk with you and explain everything. If you seriously don’t seem interesed anymore, he would stop a few weeks later, brokenhearted but proud that he at least tried.

Originally posted by haechannie

  • Someone talking to me: How are you?
  • Me, lying: Good.
  • Me, actually: jung hoseok's mixtape can drop any single second and cause me to combust I am not okay I have a ticking clock inside my heart that's going to explode into a million pieces because of the bars that Jung Hoseok is going to release upon my soul it's also going to be sad af talking about his past so along with the fire i'm going to be crying too wow i'm going to be torn apart when this thing drops i'm not ready but i am i want to be free of this pain
McHanzo Week 2017 - Day 2

Deep within the Underdark once lived two dark elven brothers, cursed by fate to be the only Drow within their city to be untouched by Lloth’s evil. For years they hid the goodness within their hearts until one day the youngest brother rebelled against the Spider Goddess’ High Priestess. He was punished by being changed into a Dryder, a centaur-like creature with the upper body of a Drow and the lower body of a monstrous spider. His family, deeply ashamed, commanded the elder brother to kill the younger. It was the only way to bring honor back to the name Shimada.  

Things did not go as planned  


If there was one blessing about the sudden rainfall, it was that it would prevent what remained of the bandits from tracking them down. Of course, this so-called blessing from the Gods (if their newest hanger-on was to be believed) did bring up a problem that no one in their merry band had thought of before: Genji’s massive dryder body sank like a stone in the mud.

Which lead to our heroes’ current situation: huddled naked around a fire in a cave under some thankfully dry wool blankets as their clothes were laid out to dry. Hanzo had chosen to share his blanket with Jesse, even though he had to make it clear to his lover that absolutely nothing was happening anytime soon. Not while Hanzo was cold, aching, and in the same open space as his equally-naked brother.

Genji had fallen asleep the second he sat down in front of the fire. He, more than anyone, gave it his all against the bandits. Truly, the brigands signed their death warrants the second they kidnapped Zenyatta. They were curled up together, dryder legs wrapped around Zenyatta’s metal body tight, daring the world to try to take his love away from him again. Of course Genji also had a few legs around the other person they saved from the bandits. Mercy, cleric of Ilmater, was also curled up against Genji and Zenyatta.

“I don’t know how he does it,” Jesse finally said. “First a warforged, and now an aasimar. In record time, too.”

“Genji said they had met previously,” Hanzo replied, not sounding so sure himself. Genji had scarcely left his side since they stumbled out of the Underdark. He didn’t think Genji had the time to become so closely acquainted with anyone outside their group.

“Pretty sure I’ve seen her travelin’ with Sir Morrison before.”

“That doesn’t make her the enemy.”

“Yeah, but she might also be itchin’ to shove that holy staff right up my-”

Genji let out a half-snore half-cough before rolling over onto his back, taking Mercy and Zenyatta with him. There was a brief fight over the blankets before the three of them fell back asleep. Hanzo watched as the feathered wings on Mercy’s back flexed once before folding against her body. Before Jesse could say another word Hanzo moved his own hand to scratch right under Jesse’s leathery wings.

“Mmm, darlin’,” Jesse purred. “Thought you said we were keeping our hands to ourselves.”

“I did not wish to imply we could not cuddle as well,” Hanzo said as he pressed against Jesse’s side. In return Jesse wrapped an arm around Hanzo to hold the drow close. If Hanzo didn’t know any better he could have sworn the tiefling was warmer than the fire. They sat there like that, lost in the sounds of the crackling hearth and the rain echoing against the cave walls.

“Million gold pieces,” Jesse said, ruining the moment.

“That is quite a lot of gold,” Hanzo replied.

“Million gold pieces, but you have to lick every magic item you come across.”

Hanzo rested his head on Jesse’s shoulder. “Do you mean every magic item I find and wish to keep for myself?”

“Nah, it’s every magic object you can directly see. Even if you don’t know it’s magic! The good news is that you now have a sure-fire way to detect magic.”

“Mmm.” Hanzo shook his head. “I must pass. If I ever find myself in front of royalty it might end with my beheading.”

“Good point. Wouldn’t want that to happen to you, darlin’.” Jesse kissed the top of Hanzo’s head. “Your turn.”

“Very well. A million gold pieces.”

“Sure is a whole lot of gold, sugarpie.”

Hanzo scratched between Jesse’s wings, earning another happy whimper from the man.  “A million gold pieces, but everything you read has a one-in-twenty chance of being enchanted with Explosive Runes.”

Jesse shifted his body under the blanket, which just so happened to pull Hanzo closer. “Can I hire someone to read for me?”

“I said everything, Jesse. Signs, labels, graffiti, tattoos, everything has a one-in-twenty chance of exploding in your face.”

“Better not then. Hate to have someone’s tattoo blow up just because I looked at them.”

Hanzo felt Jesse’s hand move and squeeze his thigh. Suddenly Hanzo couldn’t really remember why they were just talking instead of acting. It would be so easy to pin Jesse down on the cave floor, take his time to appreciate every inch of Jesse’s body, to-

A deep groan from the other side of the cave snapped Hanzo right out of it. One of Genji’s back legs lifted up in the air as he grumbled “I’ll give you both a million gold pieces if you shut up!”

And like that Jesse and Hanzo’s hands were back to themselves. Neither of them spoke until Genji’s leg went back down and the cave once again was filled with the sound of his snoring.

“Well,” Jesse said as he risked an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders. “Wouldn’t want a million gold pieces anyway. Already got everything I need right here.”

Hanzo laid his head down on Jesse’s shoulder and smiled. “Agreed.”

Taylor, one day I hope I get to meet you, just the thought of hugging makes me happy. But a girl can dream so I thought i would share mine ya know so you could just get a feeling for how it would go down :) So it all begin at the TS6 concert, I’ll was singing and dancing my little heart out jamming out while your preforming on stage having the time of your life. All of a sudden I got tapped on the shoulder and when I turned around just to find MAMA SWIFT standing there waiting for me to calm down so she could ask me if I wanted to go meet Taylor at the TS6 party…. AND I BURST INTO TEARS I COULDN’T BELIEVE THAT I, Akhila, WOULD EVER MEET TAYLOR SWIFT AGAHAGAH I COULDNT PROCESS IT but IK I had to keep it cool because I didn’t want mama swift to think I was weird lol. After she left I went back to my HAPPY place where I listened to Taylor sing WILL I would scream at the top of my lungs trying to keep my excitement together. So anyways time goes by and finally Taylor Nation tells us all to go and meet at a certain spot in the arena, just like all of Taylor’s after concert fan meet ups. I was scrolling through my phone looking at all the LOFT 89’ pics trying to find a perfect pose but then I stopped and turned my phone off and realized I shouldn’t copy someone else’s pose I should do my own.. so ya know the drill Taylor walks in and my heart instantly exploded into a million pieces but I told myself to keep it together so I wouldn’t ruin the picture but as soon as she walked up to me and gracefully said,“ Hey Akhila, I’m Taylor,” I balled my eyes out but she helped me get back together because she told me that she didn’t want to have the time we had together go to waste and so we talked and laughed and all I could think about was how incredibly happy she made me that day. When she walked away I didn’t even feel bad because I knew that she would never forget our special moment. Buddy if your lurking and you happen to read this I just wanted to let you know that I CANT WAIT TILL THE DAY I MEET YOU but until then I can only dream :)) I love you from the bottom of my heart sunshine 💓💓 @taylorswift ~ Akhila :)

Tyler Joseph Imagine - Pt. 3

When Tyler wakes up the next morning, it’s not to the sound of an annoying alarm clock, like he’s used to.  Instead, it’s to the warm sun glowing through his shades, illuminating shadows on his bed.  The first thing he notices is how sore he was.  How did he spend eighteen years of his life sleeping in this lumpy bed?  He stretches out, still under the covers.  The second thing he notices is that Y/N’s gone.  He sits up, rubbing his eyes from hours of sleep, before looking around the room.  

He fumbles around, patting down various spots on his nightstand before finding his phone.  He clicks the home button, his lock screen popping up with that ridiculous picture she took of the two of them.  He stares at her.  Her lips are pressed against his flushed cheek. Tyler has to physically shake his head to get the grin off from his face.

After throwing on a sweatshirt, Tyler heads downstairs, curious about the delicious smell coming from the kitchen and curious as to where Y/N disappeared to.

He doesn’t stay curious for long.  The minute his feet his the hardwood floor and he turns the corner of the hallway, both his questions were answered.

His mother and Y/N were both in the kitchen, still in pajamas and pulling a giant pan of cinnamon rolls out from the oven.  Neither of them noticed Tyler lingering, so he just sat back for a moment and listened.

“These smell amazing,” Y/N says, gazing in awe at the pan.  “I can’t believe you make these from scratch.”

“The kids have loved them ever since they were little.  It became my own little tradition to get up extra early on Christmas Eve to make them.”

“So you roll the dough and then add the extra cinnamon?” she asks.

“That’s right—“ Tyler’s mom goes on to explain the process to her and Tyler crosses his arms, smiling.  

“You’ll have to write it down for me,” she says once his mom’s done speaking.  

“Oh absolutely, darling,” and Tyler can tell how much Y/N spending time with his mom meant to her.  She really was going the extra mile with all this.  

Tyler was slowly coming to terms with the fact that he’d be be in debt to her for practically the rest of his life when he decided to make his presence known.

“Morning,”he says, walking up to the counter and having a seat at one of the bar stools.

“Morning baby,” his mom says as she hangs up her oven mitt, “How’d you sleep?”

“Great,” he lies, ignoring the throbbing pain in his lower back.

“Don’t these look awesome?”  Y/N asks Tyler, still gawking at the giant pastries.

He smiles in awe at her, partly to further convince his mother of their love, but partly because he could tell how proud she was for helping and it was adorable.

Tyler nods, “They look incredible.”

“Well no eating them until your brothers and sister are up,” his mother instructs.  She unties the apron from around her waist.  “Which should be anytime.  I told them that they had to help around the house before everyone got here.”

Y/N’s head whipped around.  She stared at Tyler, tilting her head and widening her eyes.  Tyler froze.  He forgot to mention the party his family always threw on Christmas Eve.  There would be upwards of forty people crowded around his house by six o’clock, he never mentioned that minor detail to Y/N in the debriefing.  

“I’m going to go get cleaned up,” Y/N announces.  “Then I can help with setting up or cooking., whatever needs to be done,” she says sweetly.

She gives Tyler’s shoulder a light squeeze on her way by.  He wasn’t sure if that was to show affection in front of his mom or a cue for him to get his ass upstairs.  

He decided to play things on the safe side.  “I’m gonna go freshen up, too.”

He follows her up the stairs and into the bedroom where she shuts the door, locking him in.  The minute she crosses her arms, he knows he’s in for it.

“How could you forget to mention a fucking party?” she snaps.

“I don’t know—“ Tyler stammers, “It’s a tradition so it just slipped my mind.”

“You told me all kinds of your family’s traditions!” she gasps, “You even told me the order that everyone opens their stockings, for Christ’s sake!”

“I know- I’m sorry,” he says, meaning it.

She pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales sharply.

“So what’s the damage?  Like ten-fifteen relatives? Give or take?”

“More like forty-forty five,” Tyler says through gritted teeth.  He really does feel bad.  This was the kind of shit you should warn anyone about, but especially your fake-girlfriend.

Her jaw drops.  “Forty five people?”

He nods.

“Christ, how big is your fucking family?”

“Big,” he remarks.

She rolls her eyes before sighing, “Okay, well give me the scoop then.”

Tyler goes on to explain further dynamics of his extended family.  He tells her about his uncles and aunts, cousins, grandparents.  He explains that Josh and his family might pop in, and tells her a bit about each of them.

“Will it be suspicious that your best friend’s family have never heard of me?” she asks.

“I told Josh to bring you up in conversation beforehand, so hopefully they’ll buy it.”

She nods, looking impressed, “That was actually good thinking.  Maybe you are kinda good at this.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “Next step will be finding a real girlfriend.  Then I won’t have to fake all of this.  God, I can’t wait for things to get back to normal,” he says, plopping down on his bed.  He buries his face in his hands.  “This is all so stressful… this pretending stuff.  I can’t wait until we’re in Chicago again, then we can go back to hating each other like usual.”

Y/N’s face falls then, her grin fading into a neutral look.  She suddenly tucks her hair behind her ears and coughs.  

“Right, well, I think I’m going to get changed up now.”

She scoots past Tyler and over to her suitcase, where she gathers a handful of clothes in her arms.  She doesn’t even look at him before running off to the bathroom, leaving Tyler alone.  

The rest of the day was spent preparing as much food as they could for the party. They made a fun time out of it, listening to Christmas music and drinking their way through several bottles of apple cider.  

Tyler was sure he was imagining it, but Y/N seemed especially avoidant of him since they talked in the bedroom.  She didn’t make it obvious.  At least no one else seemed to pick up on her distance.  But Tyler could feel it in the way she avoided eye contact with him and tried especially hard to acquaint herself with everyone besides him in his family.  

When the time finally came for guests to start arriving, Tyler scooted upstairs to change into his nicer clothes.  When he approached his bedroom, he noticed the door only cracked slightly open.  He didn’t notice Y/N take off to change, but assumed that’s what she was doing.  Tyler gently knocked on the door.

“You can come in,” she calls.

Tyler grips the handle and pushes the door open, he almost gasps out loud at the sight before him.  

Y/N is standing in front of his mirror, trying to hook on a necklace.  She’s got her tongue poking out of her mouth in concentration, the light pink contrasting with the lipstick she’s wearing.  She tries with the necklace again, but she keeps letting the metal latch before it’s fastened.  Her dress is a deep red color and she’s done her hair up in these marvelous curls that Tyler’s never seen her with before.  He just stands there with his hand still on the door handle, staring, not able to close his gaping jaw.

“You look—“ he stammers, unable to find words.

“Can you help me?” she says in spite of his unfinished sentence.

He nods and walks over, taking the necklace from her.  She collects her thick hair to the side so that Tyler can clip the hook on the back.  He does it with ease, and once he let’s go, she’s able to move her hair back in place.

“You look incredible,” he finishes after gathering up enough courage.  

She smiles at him from the mirror, “Thanks.” Her response is short and he still senses a stand-offish tone to her voice.  

He clears his throat, deciding that now was a good time to address her attitude towards him.  

“Hey,” he starts, “I don’t know if I said something to upset you or did something… but whatever it is, I’m sorry.”

She smiles, her dimples becoming visible, “Don’t be sorry.  We hate each other, remember?”

Her tone is thick with sarcasm and Tyler squeezes his eyes shut, remembering his words from earlier in the day.  But why would that upset her so much?  It was true that they hated each other, wasn’t it?  She was always so short with him… she threw up on his shoes for Christ’s sake! Then he remembered the butterflies in his stomach when she kissed his cheek and the feeling of his skin growing hot whenever she would touch him.  He gave her another gaze, from head to toe and listened to the beat of his chest. Tyler blinks twice when he realizes that no, it probably wasn’t true anymore.

“I’m sorry about that—“ he stammers.  “I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s fine,” she says as she pulls on her heels.  She adjusts one of her earrings before getting up and leaving the room without another word.  Tyler knows things are far from fine.

The first guest arrived just after six thirty.  It was his aunt and uncle from Toledo.  Once they rolled in, the rest seemed to come in flocks, until the house was full of bodies and chatter.  Y/N stuck close to Tyler, despite her clear annoyance with his presence.  It wouldn’t be authentic if she didn’t.  He introduced her to relatives like a normal couple would, but she didn’t really talk to him unless there were people around to impress.

Tyler couldn’t stop thinking about his sudden realization.  When did their feud turn into Tyler being speechless by her appearance?  Or being so fond when she talked?  He found himself on autopilot, giving the same speech to his family members in the same, monotonous tone.  His exterior was dull, but inside, he was screaming.  Because every time she would touch his shoulder, or grab his hand, Tyler felt like exploding into a million pieces.  He was in so deep and he didn’t even realize it.  

He actually sighed a breathe of relief when Josh showed up with Jordan.  He had never been happier to see his best friend.  

“Hey,” Josh smiles, walking right over to him, “The girls couldn’t make it- but they say ‘hello’.”

Tyler turned to introduce Y/N to Jordan, but he soon realizes that she’s not by his side any longer.  He looks around the house, gazing over the tops of people to try and get a sense of where she went.  He even stands on his tip-toes before spotting her red dress just before it turns around the corner of the spare dining room.  There was no party in there, so Tyler can’t help but feel suspicious of where she’s heading.

“I’ll be right back guys, okay?” Tyler says, patting Josh on the back before scooting after her.  He rushed through bodies, muttering apologizes to those he bumps a little too hard, before finally breaking free.

When he turns the corner, he hears Y/N’s hushed voice talking on the phone.

“No mom, you don’t want to do that… you’re just upset.  I know you don’t mean it, it’s okay… Nope, I’m away for a few days, remember?  Remember we talked about this last week when I visited?   No, it’s me mom.  It’s still me,” she sighs heavily, her voice breaking, “Just hang in there okay?  Maybe you could go sit in the rec room with everyone else… No, no, no— no one’s trying to kill you, mom.  You’re safe there… Well, I can’t come home right now.  But I’ll be home in a few days, and I promise I’ll come by to visit.  Okay?  Alright, I love you— bye.”

She hangs up the phone but stays staring at the wall for a moment.  Tyler feels like he should make his presence known, but isn’t sure how without jumping her.  He hears her take a deep breath in before sniffling loudly and he decided to clear his throat along with knocking on the wooden door frame.  

She turns around sharply, still clutching her phone to her chest.

“Oh—“ she says, “I didn’t know you were right there.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to sneak up on you.”

“How much of that did you hear?” she whispers.

He smiles empathetically, “All of it… I think.  I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I saw you rushed off and I wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”

Tyler expects backlash.  Something about being disrespectful and having no boundaries.  Instead she let’s her head fall and she chuckles softly.

“That was my mom,” she explains.  “She’s in a hospital.”

He nods, taking a hesitant step forward.

“She uh- isn’t well.”

“I had no idea—“ he says.

That’s when he sees the tears glistening on her cheeks and sees her face break.  She wipes them away hastily but he can hear her choking on a silent cry.

“I’m sorry-“ she says, her voice thick.  “This is embarrassing.”

“No, no—“ Tyler says, walking forward and putting his arm around her.  She leans into him, still set on wiping away her tears.

“My mom was deemed clinically insane during my senior year of high school.  But she’s been hearing voices and threatening to hurt other people for years.  My dad just had her institutionalized.  He didn’t want to deal with her anymore.  He left.  Took my younger sisters with him.  But I stayed,” she looks up at Tyler, who’s still listening intently, “I couldn’t leave,” she explains.

He nods.

“She calls sometimes.  The nurses say I’m the only one who can calm her down when she gets like that. Sorry I made you leave the party.”

“I don’t know about you.. but I was getting real sick of that party anyway.  I have a better idea.”

He steps back and offers her his hand.  She looks at him, skepticism wild in her eyes, but she takes it anyway.  Tyler leads her to the back staircase of his house.

“Wait here,” he instructs.

She nods and Tyler runs off.

He doesn’t return until he’s successfully confiscated two full wine bottles from the kitchen.

Her eyes open wide and a huge grin spreads across her face when she sees.  

“I like where your mind’s at,” she laughs, taking one bottle before following Tyler up the stairs.  There’s a window in the upstairs living room that opened right out onto the roof.  Tyler used to climb out there to escape the madness sometimes as a kid.  He never brought anyone else out with him.  Not Zach.  Not Madison.  Not Jay.  Not even Josh.  No one.  He steps out onto the shingles before turning to help Y/N.  He takes the bottle from her hand so that she can steady herself.  She looks at him once she’s grounded and shakes her head.

“You’re absolutely mental.”

He laughs, nodding his head.  “I never said I wasn’t.”

The air is cold, but Tyler considers it lucky that there’s no snow on the roof yet.  The two of them sit, drinking wine straight from the bottle and just talk.

“This is where I found out I loved stars so much,” he says after taking another swig.  His bottle was marginally lighter than when they first got outside.  He noticed that the more he drank, the less cold he felt.  

She looks up at the sky, frowning at the overcast.

“No stars out here,” she pouts.  “At least we’ll see them tonight in your room.”

Tyler laughs, feeling the buzz of the alcohol take over.  

“Hey, listen,” he says, bracing himself for another apology, “I really want to apologize for what I said.  I don’t hate you,” he turns and looks her right in the eyes, marveling at the way they sparkled, “Not even close.”

She smiles, not breaking eye contact, before asking softly, “Tyler, what are we doing out here?”

“When we’re with family, making introductions or small talk, or whatever it is,  I can’t tell if it’s real  I didn’t want to share you with them anymore.”

She smiled from ear to ear, looking so adorable and  uncomfortable all at once.  So, Tyler did the only thing he could think of to ease his own embarrassment. He leaned forward and kissed her. Just a peck that somehow still caused Y/N to make an alarmed noise in the back of her throat and blink at Tyler when he pulled back. Tyler looked up at her from beneath his eyelashes, not necessarily feeling as coy as he was pretending to be, but it did the trick. Her mouth was back on his in a second- hot and wet and just a little bit rough.  Of course her kisses would be as all-consuming as the rest of her.

She lifted herself up and straddled Tyler’s lap for easier access to his mouth.  She tasted just as fresh and lovely as she always smelled, which was surrounding Tyler in the absolute best way. She made a slightly wounded noise as their tongues tangled together and Tyler couldn’t help but agree. He felt like the air had been knocked out of him, his heart thudding against his chest almost painfully.  

A voice in the back of Tyler’s head told him he needed to stop this before it get too far, but that voice could, quite frankly, go fuck itself. Eventually, it was Y/N pulling back for air.

“That… was unexpected,” She said once she caught her breath, her hands latched onto Tyler’s hips as if she was using him to ground herself.

“Was it really?” Tyler laughed, using his hands to brace himself on the shingles.  “I know I’ve been tip toeing around you this whole trip.”

“I guess you’re right,” she said, shifting above Tyler, “This whole thing has been unexpected though, to be honest.”

Tyler pulled back a bit. “I know. I’m sure this isn’t how you wanted to spend your holiday.”

“It’s not that,” she assured him, eyes tracking the movement of Tyler’s tongue as he licked at his lips.

“Your family is great,” she continued. “And I’m glad I’m not spending the holiday alone. I just-” She shook her head slightly, “You hated me.”

“I didn’t hated you,” Tyler tried to deny, but she just looked at him and raised one eyebrow. “Alright, so I kind of hated you.”

“I don’t blame you,” she admitted, tightening her grip on Tyler’s hips. “I was an ass the first time we met.  I didn’t expect to run into a handsome, put together guy when I stole your parking space.  You caught me off guard and I’d just come from visiting my mom, which is always tough. In some twisted way, I was trying to impress you, show you how tough and put together I was too. Which isn’t a good excuse, but it’s the only one I have.”

The fact that she had just been coming off of a bad day actually made a lot of sense.

“It’s okay,” Tyler said, running a gentle hand down her wrist. “You’ve proven to me this week that you aren’t that bad after all. In fact…” He leaned in like he was about to reveal a big secret. “I think I’m kind of starting to like you.”

As far as confessions of feelings went, it wasn’t the most romantic, but she seemed to think otherwise.

“Yeah?” She smiled and tilted her head like an adorably puppy.

“Yeah,” he repeated, leaning in to kiss her again.

It was a short, sweet kiss this time, but it still made Tyler mourn the past six months when he could have been kissing Y/N and wasn’t.

“I like you, too,” she said when they pulled apart. “I’ve had a crush on you since pretty much that first day I met you.”

“Wow,” Tyler said, speechless.  “All it took was two bottles of wine to get that one out in the open.”

She smiled incredibly, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, or from being slightly tipsy, either way, it was adorable.  She leaned her head against Tyler’s chest and nuzzled into the crook of his arm, shaking her head.

“So what’s this all mean?” she asks into the fabric of his shirt.

He sighs, because honestly, he didn’t know.  

“How about—“ he says, thinking out loud, “When all of this is over, I take you out on a real date when we get home?”  

She pulls her face back from his chest and nods, “I’d like that.”

Tyler notices Y/N shaking after sitting outside for too long, and helps her to her feet.  When he collects the bottle of wine, he’s impressed to see that she drank nearly all of it.  He can tell, too, by the way she staggers to the window, almost falling nearly twice before they’re both safe and back inside.  

“Come on,” he says, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Shouldn’t we socialize at the party a bit more?” she asks.  

He nods, “Probably.”

“People are going to wonder where we’ve been.”

He nods again, “Definitely.”

She smiles and wipes his lips with her fingers. “The lipstick on your lips doesn’t leave much to the imagination,” she snickers.

Never Been Kissed

This is a drabble for Maplevogel because she likes to pull me into new fandoms and I haven’t written in awhile.  It’s not much.

Never Been Kissed

He should not have said that.

Oh, quiznak, he should not have said that.  

Lance slumped forward and wrapped his arms around his head in embarrassment.

He would never have even said it if he was not sure Voltron was going to explode into a hundred, thousand, million pieces of shrapnel.  He would have kept it to himself.  

He should have kept his freaking mouth shut!  

“At least then I could'a died with some dignity,” he mumbled into the sleeves of his sweater.  “I can’t believe I said that…”

“You know, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Lance glanced up to see Shiro leaning against the doorframe with an awkward smile on his lips.  He was flexing his cybernetic hand like he was in pain, open and closed, but his eyes were on Lance.


“That you’ve never been kissed,” Shiro clarified.  “It’s okay.  You have lots of time to figure it out.”

Lance groaned.

“But what if I die tomorrow?  Or the next day?  Or on a Tuesday? It’s not like I have a lot of options out in the middle of space. And, I mean, Voltron is really, really cool but defending the galaxy is a little, uhm, dangerous.  Or a lot.  Maybe a lot.”  

Shiro chuckled and stepped through the threshold.  

“You’ll figure it out,” he repeated, smoothing his hair back and kissing Lance on the forehead.  It was almost paternal.  Gentle.  “Sooner than you think.”

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Words 4 Prince by the beautiful Apollonia Kotero 💜

My Dear Prince,
I have never known you to leave the stage so early.
4 long, dreadful months have passed since God welcomed you home. I miss you so much, the pain is unbearable, making it hard to breathe. Grief, depression, anger, and loneliness are like those bullies who taunted me in grade school. They have been relentless. My life has been a vortex of rage and despair. Waves of sadness washing away the pieces of my broken heart. My own personal hell on Earth. I feel like your widow.
I see you everywhere. I see you in everything. I know you wanted to live. You were so happy to be getting your music back. You told me of all your plans. Your plans for me. For A6. I was so excited because you were going to bring me back to Paisley Park to see the finished Purple Rain Room with our images in murals painted on the walls. You wanted to celebrate with A6 and present to us our Platinum Albums.
The weekend of April 15, 2016, you knew I was on my way to see you. I kept calling your manager to confirm my arrival, and continued to call for you desperately to no avail. On the morning of April 21, I woke up to the worst day of my life. Suddenly my phone began to scream with calls,texts,alerts! I hear messages from Jill Jones, Susan Moonsie and Brenda Bennett. I return their calls. “No…No…” It must be someone else. An employee. A fan possibly? They said something horrible happened inside your home. I turn on CNN. It has to be a hoax. It’s a mistake I thought.
After what feels like broken glass ripping at my heart, they confirm my worst nightmare. I touch your sweet face with my fingertips, but it’s only my TV screen. The TV is shut off. It remained that way for weeks.
I could not cry. I could not feel. I could not believe it. It was a parallax view combined with a dissociative state. I was no longer part of my body. I was no longer part of this world. My heart exploded into a million pieces that morning. Prince, I am overwhelmingly saddened by what happened to you. How it happened. It is absolutely gut-wrenching to see what continues to happen. I am devastated by the horrible things said by those who do not know you. The vile gossip. The cruel, merciless tabloids. I could not watch, listen or read about you. The vultures circling your still warm body. The greed. The lies. The false claims. Shame on them.
I am certain you are watching, having the last laugh because you predicted this. “The enemy sends people into our lives just as God does. Be wise enough to know who to let in and who to let go.” “The devil will walk into a room with tears and will try to make you feel sorry for him.” You said these exact words to me in 2014. “Jubilant Judas fakes tears.”
Without knowing, on April 21 you changed my life once again, Prince. Let me try to explain why I feel like your widow.
On June 28th, 2014, at your home at Paisley Park, I told you when you love someone so much for so long, you become as one. As we have. I gave you a bejeweled gold crown charm I bought for you at Kensington Palace. I said to you the entire world calls you Prince, but to me you are a King. We kissed. We both had tears. I leaned my head on your shoulder. You celebrated us that night. Our 30th Anniversary. You then escort me on a private tour. Your doves cooed. Your Oscar shined brightly. You were like a kid. It’s a museum with a secret maze. Your secret doors and the secret panels. A fun house. “It’s a city,” I say. You tell me it’s your sanctuary. Then you ask me if I would like to see your vault. “I do not wish to see your money” I respond. We walk towards a bank vault-like door. You politely explain what’s inside is far more important than money. You open the vault and say “MY MUSIC.”
“I have a surprise for you”, you say with a huge grin. We walk into a soundstage so gigantic it needs it’s own zip code. Third Eye Girl is waiting for me, suited up and stage ready. So talented and beautiful! I was honored. You sat me right next to your mike on the stage. Close. So close. Thisclose. You sang our songs. You stared at me and I stared right back at you. It was beautiful. I fell more in love with you. Imagine that. You filmed us. You then posted it. That entire night you made me feel like Charlie Bucket. Prince and The Music Factory. It was like a romantic sequel to our movie. You made me feel like a Princess.
We spoke about family, love, music, and the future. Deep discussions. How we are family. 33 years now. You wrote another song about us, you proudly tell me. You show me the meme “This Could Be Us.” Your happy face lit up. I gushed as always. I kiss you again. The plans you share with me take my breath away. You are so gracious.
On April 21st you changed the lives of many. That morning was made even more difficult because of the news journalists. They hid outside my home. They offered compensation. It was horrendous. I could not breathe, let alone speak. I respect your preference for privacy. I did not want to run and desperately grab a microphone and be part of the frenzy. I was incapable of using this tragedy as a PR moment as was done by others.
The world cried purple tears on April 21, 2016. Monuments world-wide were lit purple in your Honor on that sad day. Sting expressed his condolences to me. Lenny is crushed. CeeLo loves you. Your Purple Family grieved. They love you so much. They still mourn you. You greatly affected so many, it’s beyond words. Their love and dedication to you has given me strength. I am so grateful to my dear friends that came to my home to provide comfort and strength during these challenging times. My “Purple Rain Family” has been my glue. My sisters Susan Moonsie, Brenda Bennett and Jill Jones and I are together.
Your brother Omarr and sister Tyka and siblings are doing their best under the most difficult of circumstances. I am there for them. Our entire Purple Rain Family, Omarr and Tyka are as one. Sadly, it has been hard for us to heal, as this is still not over. Omarr and I have spent time consoling one another and reflecting on how we wish to celebrate your life. Your stellar legendary life.
In my days of reflection and at times the reluctant observer, I thought of ways to truly honor your life. There are so many beautiful moments that I cherish. There is so much to say. I will do my best for you. To bring great minds together and only present the finest to your world-wide Purple Family. Prince, when I am ready to talk to the media about our unique and loving friendship, I promise to always be truthful and I will keep private the things you would never want me to discuss.
My love for you is great, but my grief is even greater. I promise to stay strong. I know you are with me. Thank you for your guidance and protection. It brings great comfort and solace when I think of your last words to me, “I LOVE U 2”.
I can feel the prayers of many and I am forever grateful for their love. I know you are joyful now. In a state of absolute bliss. With God at your side. The music up there must be off the hook, now that you’re a member of the greatest band in Heaven.
You told Jill J. and the girls on February 28th that I was a clown. I figured God made me just to make you laugh. I will try my best to find my humor again. My heart needs more time. I really miss your laughter. Your silly voices. But mostly, I miss your pancakes.
I’m sure you’re busy socializing with all your friends and music making up there, but where can I send this letter to you? Maybe I should call The Duffer Brothers for help, as we know stranger things have happened? I promise to check in with you often.
Finally surfed today. I thought about you there on the sand. Under the umbrella , watching me. Sand in your fro. Made me smile. I miss you Skipper heart ❤️

Te Quiero mucho, Apollonia x

anonymous asked:

What do you think would all might and aizawa do when present mic told them about the prank the students pulled on him? On that last post of AfO! Au

All Might would probably start crying tbh. 

At this point in the timeline, Izuku’s been with him longer than he was with Sensei, and while he’s gotten a hell of a lot better in that time (the panic attacks and ptsd are mostly under control), there are still so many things from Izuku’s past that are weighing down on him, like shackles trapping him to that dark place. And the biggest and heaviest shackles of all were Izuku’s quirk, All for One. AfO was a constant reminder of the man that had taken Izuku’s innocence away from him, an unwelcome legacy of the man that had destroyed countless people’s lives

So when Kirishima and Kaminari asked him to help them out with the prank, they helped him forge new memories of his quirk, memories of a bright classroom full of people he cared for, of laughing with his peers and his teacher ruffling his hair. And that was the moment he truly started thinking of it as his own quirk instead of Sensei’s. It’s the moment he really understood the words he would say to Todoroki in a few weeks, at the sports festival. And it’s the moment he realized that AfO doesn’t have to be evil.

And All Might’s just so happy that Izuku can finally move on, and that he can use AfO on his own terms. And I imagine it gives All Might some closure too. AfO was probably something of a boogeyman to All Might for a good chunk of his life. How reassuring must it be to know that someone so undoubtedly good now has it, and that he’s using it for such cute, silly things?

(And I bet Sensei is rolling in his grave right about then.)

Aizawa, on the other hand, would be absolutely horrified because those damn teenagers were already hellish enough, but now they’ve come up with a new way to torture him.

And the kids totally take advantage of it too. Every once in a while, Izuku will switch 2 peoples’ quirks (always with express permission from both parties and with several witnesses present) and the teachers will be walking on eggshells, wondering who it is this time.

At least they can rest assured that the kids with the mutation type quirks aren’t involved, because Izuku won’t even try taking their quirks - it’s too dangerous, too likely to hurt them in irreparable ways. So students like Tsuyu and Shouji and the others are exempt…or so the teachers think, until one day they’re in class, and Tsuyu’s called up for a demonstration of a technique, and then she touches All Might, and he floats right up off the ground.

The teachers are surprised by that one because, since Izuku couldn’t have given Tsuyu’s quirk to Uraraka, it means that until Tsuyu gives her quirk back, Uraraka’s quirkless, which shows an extreme level of trust between Uraraka and Izuku and Tsuyu.

Well, they think, they can’t trust the mutant type quirk holders anymore. But hey, at least they can be 100000% certain that Bakugou at least would never, in a million years, participate in this tomfoolery.

Again, they’re proved wrong one day when Izuku is writing the answer to a math question on the board, and when Aizawa-sensei surprises him from behind, Izuku shrieks in surprise and promptly explodes the piece of chalk clutched in his hand.

Aizawa turns slowly around to look at Bakugou, who’s snickering as smoke curls out from between his lips.

“Only been an hour and you’re already losing control, Deku? I am so going to win this.”

Aizawa later finds out that the two had a bet going that they wouldn’t be able to control each others’ quirks.

Izuku spends that day intermittently exploding whatever’s in his hand when he’s startled, while Bakugou ends up breathing fire whenever he’s ranting and almost singing six different people’s hair.

The Journey Home, Chapter 1

Kagome Higurashi was dead. At least, she thought she was. She couldn’t remember dying. She couldn’t remember much of anything, really, other than a vague sense of urgency, a pressing need to find something. Or someone. She couldn’t remember. But she knew she was dead, she had to be dead. There was no other explanation for the place—or the non-place—in which she found herself, everything off-white and foggy and inert. 

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John is Infertile and Knows it: A Crack Meta

So a lot has been going on lately with the Baby Watson drama. But we know John having a baby isn’t in the books and neither is him settling down for long with a wife. So how is BBC Sherlock going to walk clear of this one? Well, they introduced David, Mary’s ex, the fact Sherlock can tell a baby’s real father just by looking at them, and also how Mary is a liar and a “cat lover” – “cats” always standing for red herrings in every ***single*** mention on this damn television show. So really, this baby isn’t sticking around. Because John isn’t the father. Not only is he a million years old, he’s been coded as infertile since they introduced Mary.

A symbol of fertility often found at weddings is the rose petal. Most often red would be the color used to promote fertility, while white is a symbol of purity. White is the color of John’s rose. Now look at this still photograph. The confetti/petals are spilling from John’s white flower and spraying everyone but him. John’s petals look like they’re exploding all over that priest and the priest is just dancing in the onslaught. John’s pure “flower” cascading to pieces. Wilting. Breaking apart symbolically. 

And this is the face of a man who did NOT think it was possible he would get a woman pregnant by accident.

Earlier we even saw this plastered on his face:

Yeah, that’s the name of the person who got pregnant via third-party intervention. She was pure, she did not conceive a child through sex. She needed that divine spark. 

The idea of a sterile military man was written back in The Blind Banker. @adoroslashare brought this to my attention months ago:

“’Combat made me sterile’ Claims Army Major” – for those of us who can’t see for shit. Random line? Just coincidence? Maybe. But John’s an army man and they love their mirrors, so, let’s not count it out. 

Next up is the Mayfly Man. We all have read the metas by now equating that Mayfly Man and the locked-room mystery to John’s infiltration of Sherlock’s heart – but what about the actual flat? What did we find when Sherlock was clueing for looks? 

Wood and egg. The two things it takes to make a baby. 

But what else was right beside them?

The biggest symbol for male virility in Western culture.  Notice how it’s fucking DEAD.  

Kind of reminds you of this guy:

Oh, you know, just the symbol for male virility dead on the wall hanging there every day. That room most often associated with John. 

How about another symbol of sexual appetite? Of male orgasm? Of fertility?


Doesn’t take a consulting detective to see how Champagne associates with male virility. Fucking James Bond practically swims in it.

What the fuck – Billy Wilder showed up in this champagne research???

What the fuck?? How the fuck did this accidentally turn into a gay meta?? Why is Billy Wilder everywhere?!?! What is going on?? I feel more confused than Will Ferrell on SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy.

^^^^^^^^ Actual photos of me right now.

Billy Wilder’s accidental interference aside, John knows its possible he’s not the father of that baby. However, he won’t know for sure until she’s born and she can be tested. Perhaps a miracle has occurred. Until then he waits nervously to see the fate of his “new family”.  

anonymous asked:

Tezuka. Do your worst.

tezuka is 900 years old and every day he breaks all his arm bones into a million pieces. nearly every article of clothing he owns is either lilac or pale blue because he does all his shopping at sears in the grandpa clothes section. tezukas subsists on nothing but bread and cranberry juice. tezuka had a gay thought once but got too excited and had to sit down so his old man heart didnt explode. tezuka smells an old golf bag and he doesnt even play golf. tezuka is your grandfather and he raised you

looks: 7/10 if youre into old dudes

personality: 2/10 his what

bones: -1/10

gay: 3/10

total: 4/10 help this old man get home. hes lost

This is for @ladydrace, who’s a really brave and strong person and I love her <3

Title: Helpless When I Stumble

“Stiles?” Derek says, voice soft as he pushes against the door. Stiles pretends he doesn’t hear him. “Are you okay?”

He clenches his hands into fists, biting on his lips to stifle a sob because he’s not. He broke a glass and Scott isn’t talking to him and everything’s wrong, everything, and he’s useless and can’t do anything right and he’s not okay.

Keep reading

Seaside Confessions

Summary: Dan has been dealing with new feelings for his best friend that he never thought he would have to face.

Pure Phan fluff just because.

Word Count: 2093

a/n: Hi pals. I’m re-posting this to my main blog because, well, I’m going to start using this space for my writing as well. Let me know what ya think! I’m a writer. I thrive on feedback.

He kicked the sand as he made his way closer to the edge of the water. He knew he shouldn’t have come. His friends had invited him to spend the weekend at the beach with them, and he stupidly allowed himself to be talked into going by his best friend, and housemate, Phil.

“Come on, Dan. It’ll be fun. It’s just one weekend at the beach. Live a little.”

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icanseeyourholo  asked:

i have to share something with you that will probably make your heart explode into a million pieces: my daughter lily keeps calling harry 'princess' because of his long curly hair and she thinks he is so pretty that the only logical reason for it in her tiny (but, of course, genius) toddler brain is that he is a real life princess. i mean.. ISN'T THIS THE CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD??