because it feels so stupid to reblog them on another day

anonymous asked:

So I've been very lazy with my studying toward witch craft and therefore I'm going back to the beginning~ lol. Any advice for a little witch?

Some Advice for Getting Started:

Originally posted by gameboydemakes


*Start with things that interest you!* 

I know i get terribly bored very quickly (gemini curse lmao) so i find that if i dive into stuff i’m interested in learning about, that it will tend to hold my attention longer and help me get back into the swing of things! So in my example one of my first things i researched when i was starting out was about Crystals and their properties/uses in magic! From there i was able to use that as a sort of base jumping off point for my magical practice! And if you find something you were learning about doesn’t seem like it fits you/your style/ your practice then drop it and move on to the next thing! 

*Ask Questions!*

No Questions Are Stupid Questions  No Questions Are Stupid Questions  No Questions Are Stupid Questions!!!! Questions mean you care enough to try and learn more about something! I’m pretty much always here and will try my best to answer as best as i am able And if I can’t i will do my best to help direct you to someone more knowledgeable!


*TAKE YOUR TIME!*

This one is important because most of the time i feel like i see baby/beginner witches try really REALLY hard to “reach the same level” as other witches as quickly as possible when in reality that just hurts THEIR path in the long run. Your path is your own, take it at your own pace. Enjoy the little bumps along the way and find the “Roses of your Path” (the things that make you want to stop and appreciate them: the satisfaction of calling your first Storm, the chill of the night air when you set out your first Full Moon Water, the spark when you find that one crystal.) Enjoy it. Enjoy your path, Enjoy your Craft. 

*Use the Things you Already Own!*

Another thing i see beginners getting hung up on (myself included, i was/am extremely guilty of this lol) is wanting to go out and buy a ton of supplies. try looking around your house for things that can be re purposed. Old Spaghetti Sauce Jars can be cleaned and used as spell jars, deity altars/shrines, or ingredient storage! Take pictures from old magazines and make a collage Altar on paper! Use a composition notebook as your Book Of Shadows! Your old broken glasses case can be used as a case for your portable altar! Dig around and see if there are extra candles you haven’t used in a while! Wash out and save those eggshells from your cooking to use as spell ingredients! It takes some creative thinking but you can reclaim pretty much anything for your craft!

*Look for Bargains!*
For one thing prices can be outrageous for actual craft materials: like Crystals and Gems? Truly truly truly outrageous. So keep your eyes peeled for bargains and deals! Some of the best places to look for things on the cheap would be Dollar Stores, Flea Markets, Thrift Shops, Garage/Estate Sales! Most of the time in those places you can try haggling to get things at a cheaper price (or get more for less.) It really just depends on the place but you can find the most interesting assortments of things! Keep your eyes peeled in your general day to day life as well see if there are sales at your local grocery store for seed packets, seasonal items/holiday items (look for the sales afterwords to really save haha) The internet is a great place to look, i know Ebay has sellers who sell raw crystals/ crystal chunks by the pound. There’s also places to buy spices in bulk too 


*Don’t Compare Your Path to Others!*
Your Path is Your Path, Their Path is Their Path.
Being online and part of the witchy community in tumblr means that there are a lot of ideas being shared from people’s paths and their views on how they think magic should be practiced. What works for them might not work for you and vice versa. Only YOU can decide what is best for you and your path. and on that note:

*Figure Out What YOU Want Out of Your Path!*
When you get some time, sit down and write out all the things you want to get from your path and think critically about how you want magic to work in your daily life. Do you want it to be Super Formal or more casual? perhaps a mix of the two?  Test the waters! Try things once and if you don’t like it then you know and can move on to the things that work better for your lifestyle/craft/path!
Some examples from my list that i can think of right now would be:
-Better knowledge of Crystals/ Crystal remedies and their healing properties
-Daily research -aka tumblr-
-Appreciating Nature more (Whenever i go on walks with my dog i try to pick up some litter if/when i see it)
-Daily Deity appreciation  -aka deity aesthetic reblogs to @theemeraldgod & Pintrest-

Helpful Links for Beginners:
Sww Master List of Tags- Here’s my main hub of things that i tag feel free to look and see if something interests you!
Altars/ Altar set up Advice- My long winded post about what to put on your Altar.
My Beginner Tag// My Beginner 101 Tag- There are two tags because they have similar information, the 101 tag is for more ‘Hey I just started today what do I need to know’


Anyways thanks for sending this in! I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while and this finally gave me the excuse ^^

-oOo-
StormWaterWitch

BARNESPIDEY’S MASTERLIST

i update it very often so it’s all up to date! x (feel free to reblog/like!)

i figured i’d just put the notes next to them - starting at +100 (in case anyone looks at that before reading) instead of adding different symbols next to them :)

Peter Parker/Spiderman x reader 

               ⚓  PART 2   (+200 notes)  

               ⚓  PART 3   (+200 notes)

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier x reader

Tom Holland x reader

Draco Malfoy x reader

Sirius Black x reader

             ⚓  PART 2 (+100 notes)

Zach Dempsey x reader

  • “Stupid tapes” - Zach doesn’t want to tell his girlfriend about the tapes and she has enough and then Bryce Walker makes things even worse.(+500 notes)

              ⚓  PART 2 (+300 notes)

Shawn Mendes x reader

  • “Too tired” - Shawn stays up late to finish one of his songs and a very sleepy y/n comes to check on him. (+250 notes)
You wanna know what I find real cute?

I find it reeeeaaal cute that all of these aphobic exclusionists (especially the ones that aren’t actually ace themselves, pfsshh) like to spout that, “If you are Ace and are ‘Actually Lgbt+’ then we’re not talking about you, hon. You are Lgbt+ but only for your same gender attraction/non assigned by birth gender identity. The lack of sexual attraction isn’t a true orientation worth protecting. It’s a TMI modifier, you’ll see in time, you experience no real discrimination for being ace. Only for your real Lgbt+ identity! ”, thinking it’s a flawless, righteous thing to say to the “actual Lgbt+” people who are Asexual that they claim to care about and want to protect.

Honestly, not only does that type of answer sound condescending and doesn’t make any of their aphobia hurt less but do you know what it sounds like to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND LIKE TO ME, A DEMI-PANROMANTIC ASEXUAL WOC?!

IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN WHITE FEMINISTS WHO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY SAY, “WE’RE ALL WOMEN AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING WOMAN SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR FEMINISM YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR WOMANHOOD BEFORE YOUR ETHNICITY AND LEAVE RACE OUT OF IT”, AND JUST LIKE WHEN BLACK MEN WHO CONTRIBUTE TO MISOGYNOIR SAY, WE’RE ALL BLACK AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING BLACK SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR BLACK EQUALITY, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR GENDER AND YOUR FEMINISM AT THE DOOR.” THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK THE WHOLE, “YOUR LBGT+ IDENTITY AND ASEXUAL IDENTITY ARE/HAVE TO BE EXPRESSED SEPARATE(LY)” ARGUMENT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME!

And I’m about to tell you why arguments like that are ignorant and harmful and full of shit, if you’re one not smart enough to put two and two together.

I AM A BLACK WOMAN, A WOMAN WHO IS BLACK. IF I GO INTO A FEMINIST EQUALITY SPACE, MY BLACKNESS DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. IF I GO INTO A BLACK EQUALITY SPACE, MY WOMAN-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Similarly…

I AM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL, AN ASEXUAL WHO IS PANROMANTIC. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR LGBT+ ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY ASEXUALITY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR ASEXUAL ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY PANROMANTIC-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Holy shit!!! Why is that so hard for so many people to get??? Oh wait, I know why. IT’S BECAUSE QUITE A FEW OF THESE APHOBES AND EXCLUSIONIST ARE NEITHER WOC NOR “REAL LGBT+” ASEXUALS. THEY DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCES BEING TOLD SHIT THAT’S BASICALLY EQUIVALENT TO, “NEGLECT AND LEAVE HALF OF YOUR IDENTITY AT HOME, YOUR EXISTENCE COMPLICATES THINGS AND MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE”. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXIST AS EITHER. HOWEVER, THEY STILL THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY AND TO SPEAK DOWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BOTH WOC AND ASEXUAL, LIKE ME, TO MAINTAIN AND ENFORCE THEIR OWN VIEWS AND IDEAS OF WHAT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY LOOKS LIKES AND INCLUDES.

Damn ain’t that some shit, huh? In other news, I can’t wait for my point of view to be ignored and to be dismissed as just another “Angry Black Woman™” for bringing to light of how aphobes and exclusionists treat Asexual WOC like trash, regardless of their romantic orientation or gender identity. (Seriously, don’t even get me started on the amount of non-black exclusionists I’ve seen pull the, “Headcanonning Black female characters as Asexual desexualizes/oversexualizes them!!1!” card. They aren’t Black and they don’t know shit about the inner workings of Black politics or how misogynoir affects how Black women are view in relation to sexuality but they still act like they understand all and are helping, get the fuck out of here). So yeah, sorry not sorry for this long ass post but at first I was just tilted and now I’m hot about it. Aphobes and exclusionists are so fucking ignorant and counterproductive. Yikes.

Mystic Messenger Guys Pregnancy Series - Finding Out #1

Jumin Han

Being the wife of the executive director of the C & R International was never an easy thing to do. Yes, Jumin made you feel as if you were the only girl in the world. He was always showering yo with love and affection…and as much as you hate to admit it…he always showered you with gifts. He spoiled you rotten but you never let it go to your head. Yes,being his wife was a blessing and you could not be any more grateful. However, being his wife, also made it impossible to be out of the public eye. Everywhere you went, someone was there taking pictures, Everything you did was already on the news. And honestly it was making you sick, physically sick. You woke up one morning to immediately rushing to the nearest bathroom and throwing up. You groaned as you finally got the chance to breathe. You thought for a moment before widening your eyes. You quickly stood up and rushed to lock the door  before searching the cupboards for a pregnancy test. You always had one in case one of your nights with Jumin got a tad reckless. You waited anxiously as the test began to work its magic..and there it was…a blue cross. 

Yoosung
To you, you and Yoosung had the perfect fairy-tale life. After the whole big bang that happened during that first 12 days when you first joined the RFA, you and Yoosung finally managed to meet. After many dates, game nights of LOLOL and a very awkward marriage proposal that involved him spilling spaghetti on you and you chocking on a piece of cake, the two of you were finally married. He had finally stop playing LOLOL as much as he used to and  became a veterinarian, to everyone’s surprise, but not to you, to you he was the hardest working guy ever. Everything was perfect…until a few days ago. You had began to feel just downright awful. You had headaches,stomach pains and had been sick quite a lot. Yoosung, being the worrywart he was, fretted lover as if you were dying. You promised him that you were fine and that you booked a doctors appointment. After calming him down and convincing him to go to work, You got dressed and headed towards the doctors where they examined you. You waited patiently for the doctor to come back and when he did, he uttered a sentence that almost made you faint
“Congrats Ms.Kim, you are pregnant”
707
You and Saeyoung were not married. Yet. And wanna guess why? He had his heart set on marrying you in a space station. Yes , a space station.You were completely fine with it. I mean how long have you known him for? You knew that he was absolutely crazy and had the wildest ideas. But you still loved him, and he loved you., The kisses, the hugs, the late night conversations, the all day gaming sessions, all those moments were so precious to you and the same to him. Everything would be perfect. Only if your parents would like Saeyoung. However, it was quite the opposite. They hated him. They thought he was too loud, too irresponsible, a criminal, a shady guy. They wanted you to have nothing to do with him. And it broke your heart, and Saeyoungs too. Enough to get him into another mental breakdown, but you helped him out of it. It was you and him against the world. However, you did still love your parents. But they basically disowned you when you rejected their request for you to break up with Saeyoung. But..How would they react when that afternoon, on the toilet seat.. that you were pregnant with Saeyoung’s Child?
Zen
Zen had been on a stage tour recently and , lets be honest, you have never felt as lonely as you were now. You missed his presence, his cheesy pick up lines, his kisses, his hugs, his muscles and oh the list just goes on and on. Its like that saying ‘ absence make the heart grow fonder’. You just missed him desperately. Before he had left, you both had a memorable night, just so that the two of you left on a high note. You had been married for a few months now and the fans gladly accepted you. Well…Echo girl and her fans still held a bit of a grudge. But you never paid much attention to them. Recently you had been feeling sick. You had a fever and was throwing up quite a lot. You took the day of work and called Zen, who immediately started panicking and began to already plan his way home. You stopped him and said that you were fine before laughing. You suddenly froze and it was as if the cogs in your mind had began turning. Sexy night + Fever + Throwing up. You face-palmed and began to laugh hard. To the point tears were coming out of your eyes. You even forgot that Zen was still on the phone very confused. You sighed as you picked up the phone and said in between giggleS
“Ohh Don’t worry sweetie, i think im just pregnant!”
“…..”
“WHAT?!”
Saeran
You and saeran were far from being the perfect married couple, but you were both happy. He still had mental breakdowns and he still was quite isolate and reclusive, but could anyone blame him? After all the crap with Rika, the mystic eye, His mother, His father ,V and his brother, you would be worried if he wasn’t affected in some way. But he trusted you. He let you into his heart. You offered him the love he was deprived from for so long.You stayed by his side no matter what he did or said to you. But honestly, it was not easy. Sometimes the hurtful words he said to you, really hit you hard. You knew that he would never actually mean it. You knew he was not being his real self. But you couldn’t help but fee a tiny bit hurt. And this was one of these times. You had been throwing uo for the past few days and it had finally made him snap. 
“WHAT THE F*** S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE COW”. He screamed out. And you just accepted it. Because you loved him. You knew he didn’t mean it. But, the tears on your face came down even harder. This time hurt much more than the others. This was because..
You were pregnant with his child.


V
V treated you as if you were his queen. He loved you so much and you loved him back. You were not married nor engaged. Just boyfriend and girlfriend living happily together in his apartment. You loved him, you really did , with all your heart. But you feared that he did not love you as much as you wished. And that was because of her. You glanced at the small photo V kept on his desk. You glared cold at it. Rika. The woman who injured V so horridly. Who hurt Yoosung, Saeyoung, Saeran and Jumin emotionally. You could not understand how V could still love her for such a long time. He finally broke up with her once Zen and Yoosung sent her to a mental health rehab centre. And that is when he began to develop feelings for you. You were so happy with him, but you couldn’t not help feeling just a bit hurt that he was still in love with her. But, what could you do, they were engaged after all. Anyone would be hurt by that. And he was still refusing the eye surgery and time was running out. He was not listening to anyone, not you, Jumin, anyone. And it was worrying you. But perhaps..Perhaps you being pregnant could change everything? Surely, SURELY, he would consider having the eye surgery if it meant possibly never having the chance to see his own son or daughter…


AHHHH I DID IT! Okay i really wanted to start a pregnancy series with mystic messenger cause lets all be serious…its what we all need. AND THANK YOU FOR A 100 FOLLOWERS AGDWEFBJEIOFIEJFOIZ. I was so happy but yeah! do you like this idea?if so please like reblog follow and request for more!!

//so I was thinking this morning (always a dangerous sign) that I’ve talked a bit recently about how the Tumblr RP community isn’t always very good at encouraging people to find ways to manage or get to their drafts, and is instead more likely to coddle peoples’ anxieties without actually helping them at all. 

So this is a post of a few tips and tricks that might help RPers manage some of the more common anxieties I see crop up in our circle. Now, I’m not a full psychologist and nor am I licensed counselor. But I do have my master’s degree in clinical psychology with the intention to go on for the PhD (or get licensed to practice if I don’t get into a program) so I do kinda know what I’m talking about. Hopefully some of this advice is a little helpful:

1. “My drafts just stress me out.” This is a pretty common complaint, but I think in most circumstances it’s caused by stress going on outside of the RP world. Take a step back and breathe. Handle whatever is going on in your real life. That always comes first. If you come back and your drafts are still causing you to feel panicky, the next step is to find out the more specific reasons why. That’s going to help you best address the anxiety. Read on for some common reasons.

2. “I’ve gotten so behind, there’s so many and I’m overwhelmed.” This happens all the time! You take a hiatus for a week or two, or life just got really busy for a while, or just lost muse and now it’s back. But in the meantime, your drafts have piled up- suddenly you’re looking at 20, 50, 100- how do you even start? 

The best way I’ve found to handle this is to break them up into smaller chunks. It might be helpful to copy and paste your partners’ replies over into one or more word documents. You can then further organize those word documents even more. One for short replies, one for long, one for medium length. Or you can organize by muses, by how long the draft has been in your folder- whichever way you want to handle this. If you want to put one reply per document, you can organize them into folders instead. How you do this is entirely up to you.

Set a small goal for yourself- even one draft a day is better than no drafts at all. But by breaking the work up into chunks, you’ve taken a lot of the pressure off yourself. A goal of 1-5 drafts a day is a lot better than looking at all 50. 

Another tip- use the queue! Or simply keep completed drafts saved in the drafts folder until you’ve caught up enough to start posting. The queue will stagger your posts so replies aren’t coming out all at once, and your partners aren’t able to immediately reply back. And obviously keeping them in drafts even after they’re done lets you have more time to catch up. These are just a couple of tips, however, and there are probably other good ways to manage drafts. Find what works best for you!

And don’t be afraid to drop a couple if you have no muse for those threads anymore. Just let your partner know, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, they’re just an asshole and who needs that, right? It is better to communicate that you’re dropping them, however, so you’re partner isn’t left hanging.

3. “I haven’t replied in weeks, I’m worried my partner hates me.” I guarantee this is not true. Most people in the rp community are very understanding of slow response time. Your partners want to rp with you- they’ll be thrilled to see a response, even if it’s been several weeks. Responding, even slowly, shows a lot more dedication and excitement over your threads. 

So if it’s been several weeks, and you finally have muse for that thread and want to reply to it, but feel guilty or anxious because it’s been so long- reply anyway. Your partner will be so happy to see your response. 

Another way to alleviate this anxiety is to simply talk to your partner. And I know, this can be scary- but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do the thing that makes you anxious. Take it slow if you need to, but communication is the best way to feel better about it. And I guarantee, you are going to feel so much more proud of yourself if you did the thing that made you anxious than if you didn’t.

That goes for replying as well. 

4. “I feel so inadequate compared to others. I should just stop.” This is an example of what mental health professionals call a “negative automatic thought”, or “NAT”. And like real gnats, these little thoughts get all up in your ears and start buzzing around. They can spiral out of control very quickly, until you feel absolutely terrible about yourself. These thoughts are very common in people with both anxiety and depression. 

But the thing is, they can be changed. You can actually re-wire your brain with a little work so that it won’t think these thoughts quite as often. One of the most effective ways is to simply replace the negative thought with a positive one- even if you don’t believe it. So if your negative thought is “I’m horrible compared to other people,” a replacement thought could be “No, I’m just as good as anyone else,” or “my writing is unique to me and it has value.”

You will not believe yourself at first, and it will seem a little bit weird when you start. It’s also a little challenging- your negative thoughts are automatic, you’re so used to thinking them that you aren’t even fully aware of it it half the time. But when you do catch yourself spiraling off into those negative thoughts- try to stop them. This is something we teach in therapy and over time, it does help. And it does get easier.

5. “It has to be PERFECT.” Perfectionism is at the root of a lot of peoples’ anxieties. But I challenge you with this- why? Why does it have to be perfect? What will happen if it’s not perfect? 

The answer to that, usually, is “my partners will hate me/lose interest/think I’m stupid or a bad writer.” Perfectionism is usually a fear of judgment, and it’s usually fueled by feelings of inadequacy or fears of failure. So to that, I refer you back to the previous advice about negative automatic thoughts. 

Challenge your thinking about your perfectionism. A good replacement thought for this one is “even if it’s not perfect, my partner will still be happy that I responded. My writing is still valuable to them.” Another good one- “imperfection means there’s room to grow. Mistakes don’t mean I’m a failure or no good.” 

In general, don’t let anxiety say “I can’t do this.” You can do it. Anxiety is not a permanent state. The body cannot sustain it very long- the elevated heart rate, heavy breathing, heightened arousal- it’s physically impossible for it to last. Eventually, your body will start to calm itself and even back out. This is something that is very hard to sit with, because your natural instinct is to run away from the thing that’s making you anxious. Your instinct is to close the drafts folder, to close the messenger, to log out of tumblr and ignore it all completely. But the truth is, that only makes your anxiety worse in the long run. 

Now, if these tips don’t help, or you’re finding your anxiety is so bad that it’s affecting your daily life in almost everything- I encourage people to please see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or some other mental health professional. Anxiety that’s chronically preventing you from doing the things you enjoy is anxiety that probably needs treatment. Having the extra support of a therapist or medication often makes it possible to implement some of these strategies, or find better ones that work for you. Especially if you’re having a hard time managing things on your own. 

Anybody that wants to add to this with other ideas that have been helpful to you, please feel free to do so. 

LGBT movies I recommend!

Brokeback Mountain 

(I really hope you have already seen this tho, its a classic. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger plays two shepherds falling in love in 1960 Wyoming)

Jongens 

(Dutch, two teenage boys fall in love and deals with it) 

Freier Fall 
(German, two police officers, one with a baby on the way, develops feelings for one another. One of my favourite movies of all time) 

Keep reading

its time to talk about overwatch beach day

so i know this has been talked about but like. i had some stupid ideas.

-Reinhardt definitely wears a speedo. he doesn’t give a shit. 

-Genji wears a shirt to the beach, and no one knows why. He says he’s embarrassed about showing his chest but ?????? he has no pants. also he never wears clothes?

-Reaper is the same except booty shorts.

-76 is dressed like a dad. Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, and a visor. 

-Zarya finds a bathing suit that shows off ALL of her muscles.

-Mei wears those adorable 50s esque two pieces that are all frilly and polka dotted.

-McCree wears like normal swimming shorts but he still wears his hats and cowboy boots. it’s so stupid. 

-Ana wears a bikini because she’s got a hot mom bod and WILL show it off.

-Pharah can’t swim. She wears water wings with no shame, she’s got the inner tube and everything. 

-Tracer can’t go into the water because of her chronal accelerator, so she makes up for it with super adorable bikini’s. She gets sunburned hardcore. goggles tan.

-Widowmaker won’t go into the water, she just tans even though her skin won’t change. 

-Zenyatta just floats over the water. he’s having he time of his life. 

-Hanzo just sits in the shade, he doesn’t like to swim. but he’ll finally reveal his elusive second tiddy. He wears shorts but no shirt. lots and lots of sunscreen.

-Symmetra makes the most beautiful, intricate and amazing sandcastles. 

-Junkrat is the asshole who kicks them but then feels bad later and helps her make a new one.

-Roadhog floats on his back. all day. when he comes out, he’s clean, so he makes sure to roll around in the sand so has another reason to go back into the water. even though he still has his mask, he wears little goggles over top of the mask.

-D.va has a water gun, and she won’t stop spraying everything. Hanzo yells at her a lot because he doesn’t want to get wet but she doesn’t give a shit. She also has a super cute bikini with her logo on it, because why wouldn’t she?

-Mercy is the beach mom. She brings the snacks and 5 bottles of sunscreen. She also brought 3 giant umbrellas. She wears one of those comically large floppy sunhats, and have a very cute one piece bathing suit. 

-Torbjorn competes with Symmetra to make better sandcastles. It’s not a direct competition, but he just tries to one-up her the whole time. 

-Lucio obviously supplies the music, bringing a boombox to listen to his own music. He joins D.va with the water gun shenanigans. 

-Winston floats in the water with Roadhog. he has tiny goggles.

-Bastion can’t go in the water, so he sits under the umbrellas. He has a little sunhat that Mercy got for him and he loves it. He beeps along to the music, and beeps happily all day.

*throws a zen with a little flower to catch your attention*

Alright, now that your attention has been caught, please bear with me. I hope you’ll take some time to read this until the end. Or, if you don’t have the time, bookmark it. I just want to get my point across. The picture is clickbait, hahah sorry. But I’d appreciate it if you could stay for a bit. Ok. Where do I begin.

Let’s stop trying to deny it okay, all fandoms have some really shitty people. It’s inevitable. I’ve seen ‘em all, the bashers, thought-imposers, unwanted-critiquers, “my opinion is best”-ers, and all the other -ers. I daresay a few hatERS will drop by my inbox later after I post this. By all means, feel free and go ahead. All I ask is you read what I write.

I’m just sad that these people run rampant in the Mystic Messenger fandom. Out of everyone, the Rika vs. V discourse and some overboard Zen fanatics are probably ranked at the top of my primary concerns as a (still young) fan (but filled with motherly instincts). Still, I understand that maybe these people didn’t WANT to do it. Maybe they acted on impulse and received a lot of hate because of one slip-up, which FORCED them to defend themselves. In turn, they ended up looking worse than they ever intended to be and hate just continues to pour in the inbox.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending their actions. If they did something wrong, then it’s wrong. But I’m just begging you to remember, that we are all humans. Cliché as it may seem, we aren’t perfect. Nobody is. We all fucked up at one point in our lives. All I’m asking for is for you not to be the douche who engraves it into history with a permanent marker and ruins a person’s reputation forever.

Do we really have go into the gray areas? If a painter intended for something to be so obviously jet black, what’s the use of trying to find the white pigments that he used to mix the colors? Must we really psychoanalyze every single detail until the things meant for simple entertainment turn into the reasons behind a world war? Idk guys, I just think that the whole discourse with V and Rika is absurd. It’s a waste of time. Rika abused V and brainwashed Saeran. That’s bad. V kept secrets from the RFA. That’s also bad. Each romanceable character has a bad ending which probably exploits their fatal flaws. Goddamnit, the word is already in there, it’s BAD. Nobody deserves to be bound by their flaws.

Look at the reason behind most, if not all the fandom fights: “This character is (insert negative trait here).” “This character did this (insert negative action here).” “This character didn’t do that (insert positive action here).” At some point, people are going to bring in a character WITH A REALLY COMPLEX PAST AS THEY TOO ARE A COMPLEX HUMAN BEING, and they’re gonna slap that three letter label on them to serve as an argument. And just like that, they’re going to expect to win the debate. For heaven’s sake, I just want to say that no matter how many evidences you think you can provide, all your arguments are invalid until Cheritz confirms it to be canon. Can’t we just live in happiness and peace that we AT LEAST have this wonderful game to play? Or am I just being a hopeful, idealistically stupid teenager.

Let’s all try and stop looking at the bad things that people have done, just for a moment. Notice the good things. Think positive. Stop being so critically harsh towards people who just want to experience the joy of playing a game. Stop sending unnecessary hate to each other because c'mon, what benefits do you get from that? Do you really get satisfaction when you watch someone’s soul break under the weight of your words? Do I have to invite that one guest from the party to stop you guys from bombarding each other with cyber grenades?

Is what I want the kind of world that Rika wanted? Because damn, if it is, that’s meta af. If I could get the world to be at some kind of blissful tranquility for just three seconds, I’d do it. What lengths would you go through to end all this fighting and killing, all the hate crimes and injustices, and just bring everyone into Paradise? Because apparently, Rika was willing to give it her all and more.

In one way or another, Cheritz predicted all this (or it could just be me being wild with my imagination), but look at Zen’s…uh…overenthusiastic fanclub. Look at that one guest who was all about bringing positive comments on people’s profiles. No, actually, look at ALL the guests. What do they have in common? Nothing!! And yet look at them at the party: people from different walks of life, enjoying the afternoon with each other.

Rika wouldn’t have to commit all her shitty crimes if the world didn’t give her a reason to. In one way or another, we’re all at fault here. But here’s the thing: what Rika failed to see was that there was happiness in RFA’s party, where opinions might clash every now and then but friendship would still hold strong. Cheritz is trying to tell us that hey, you know what? There’s still hope in this world, despite all the horrible stuff that has happened! It isn’t the end. It never is, and it never will be so long as people continue fighting for what’s right. We can change right now if we just opened our hearts to the people around us.

In the end, it’s all up to you if you want to take my message to heart. It’s a really long one, and I don’t expect many to read. But still, please just listen to your heart. Be the amazing user that I know you can be. Be the fan that Cheritz wants you to be. Be the human that the world needs you to be.

Yeah, that’s all. Thanks for reading, hope you have a great day/night!

P.S. Also, will probably repost the picture again minus this essay hahah, for a more convenient reblogging experience. Just wanted to get this out of my chest.

RFA and V + The First Time They Say I Love You

requested by anon and @josmottt - sorry it took so long! orz
it’s ya boy, back with another (overdue) headcanon / scenario post! i mean to post this for the longest time now, but i never got the chance to. i’ve got notes on this piece that i might post; who knows? also, this is really, really long, but i hope you enjoy it! yoosung’s continued scenario (as well as the scenario of the other members) is found under the cut.
this is essentially a sequel to RFA + When They Realize They’re in Love, but i did my best to make this a stand-alone scenario post! though i do recommend giving that a read just to build it up better :D a reblog/like would be greatly appreciated, and if you have any headcanon requests, feel free to send them my way! <3 enjoy!


RFA AND V + THE FIRST TIME THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”

YOOSUNG

Yoosung feels like his heart is going to burst.

Normally, he wouldn’t be so nervous with playing video games. They were his food at this point, and he was so attuned to playing them that they became part of his daily life. Hell, he could probably live out his entire life with only video games to get him going. However, he had promised his mom that he was going to try to be healthier. Though, with the warmth of his object of affection right beside him, he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to last long with the state his heart was in.

The blond tries to focus on the wide screen and blaring speakers set up in front of him, but the way she nearly leaned against him, brushing his shoulder ever-so slightly with her own, was enough to make him chant all the prayers he knew under his breath. He told her he was doing a chant of victory, part of the game and all that. Yeah right, he thinks, taking a deep breath from all the praying he had subtly done. He dodged an incoming attack, letting the high-pitched squeak of [Name] bring him back to his senses.

“Damn, that was a close one!” he heard himself say, subtly taking a glance at the woman beside him. Yoosung had invited the woman to his home to play a co-op campaign of LOLOL, seeing as the other RFA members had turned down his offers. Stupid, he thinks to himself. What made him think his heart was ready for this? He plasters on a wide smile as she shoots him with one of her own. He hurriedly turns his attention to the bright screen, hoping the heated blush on his pale face wasn’t obvious.

Yoosung was pretty sure [Name] was fully aware of her feelings for him, which terrified him as he had never felt this way about anyone. What if he looked stupid in her eyes? He was certainly the most naïve one in RFA; he accepted that, but what if that was a huge turn off for her? She was practically the definition of perfection in his eyes, even if she reminded him over and over that she was far from it. All of her flaws, her insecurities, her everything- she was absolutely divine, and he was anything but.

((continued under cut))

Keep reading

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

Now and Not Yet, touken fanfic

Summary: Just Touka and Kaneki sharing a nice night together ✿♡

Rating: K+? something fluffy & a bit nostalgic | Words: 1,212 words

A/N: this is very short and weird, i wrote this not having a main plan of what i wanted to write, but i still wanted to write something so this is the result, haha.. i don’t know why i’ve been writing so much fluff lately, i think the angst is huge in the manga right now that my soul needs a tiny spark of happiness once in a while, but i’ll be back with the angst soon i promise 🙏 anyway, i hope you’re all having a nice day today, enjoy this and please reblog if you liked it! feedback is more than welcome 🐇💞🐐


Preview:

He’s trying to do something with his hands, biting his lower lip in concentration until he smirks, and stares at her, brows arching to make her see.

“Look,” he repeats, encouraging her to look at the wall.

She does, and blurts out a flabbergasted gasp. Her body slightly jolts, excitement filling her chest when she realizes that Kaneki is forming a rabbit with his hands, the shadow perfectly projected on the wall.

A rabbit!

Keep reading

Today

Today, I shaved my legs, put on my prettiest dress, and painted my nails bubblegum pink. (I remember them saying that girls had to shave their legs, that I was gross for not caring how much hair was on them. Was I doing this for them, or for me? I can’t tell. The dress, at least, and bubblegum nails, were my own).

Today, I stayed home and layed in bed, pirating shows, and scrolling through a Tumblr I’m not supposed to have (16 years old, and no social media. As if I needed help missing out on life. Needed help being alone)(I don’t).

Today, I ate coffee for breakfast, microwaved soup for lunch, and a handful of nachos for dinner. (I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday. How much do I weigh now? Will she notice the fading scars?).

Today, I listened to musicals, played card games alone, and realized that no one ever texts me first. I haven’t talked to a friend in over a week and only because, like always, I texted them first. (Have I even crossed their mind this week? They’ve crossed mine. (Note to self: Words Fail is never a good idea to listen to alone)).

Today, I argued with my brother about whether or not boys could have eating disorders. (I was/am so angry, how dare he say that those who starve themselves are shallow and stupid. He knows so little and is so wrong so often and still keeps talking).

Today, I sat on the bathroom floor in that same pretty dress with freshly shaved legs and bubblegum nails writing this poem in the notes of my phone.

Today, I will put this poem on Tumblr, then hours later, reblog it on another account (I know notes don’t determine whether I’m any good, but damn if they don’t make me feel loved). It won’t get more than 14 (That’s the highest notes one of my poems have received before).

Today, I will take off that pretty dress, and put on long black pants and a Sirius Black shirt. (I will keep the bubblegum pink nails though. They match the brand new black of my pants very well).

Today, I will sit in the corner seat of the couch, and pretend I’m doing something I’m allowed to (like texting my friends even though I don’t know when/if they’ll respond) instead of scrolling through Tumblr looking at things I know will only make me feel like shit.

Today, I will lay down in my bed at 10:00 pm because I still have a bedtime (16, and missing so much) and pretend to sleep. Instead, I’ll plan out fanfictions I know I’ll never write. (From my head to a page is a long trip I’ve never successfully made). I finally sleep approximately 3 hours later (I know because this part of my day never changes).

Tomorrow, I will finally sleep off this day.
Tomorrow, I’ll wake up, and have coffee for breakfast. (Other meals are still in the air).
Tomorrow, I’ll scroll through Tumblr for hours again.
Tomorrow, I will argue with my brother over something (most likely trival, and he’s most likely still being an ass).

But tomorrow isn’t here yet.
Today, I’ll decide if it ever will.
(It will).

Long Live - Chapter 7

This one got a bit longer than i expected. I also had a bit of trouble with it as the words i wanted didn’t seem to want to exist for me. Thank you to @mylasagnaisraw and @ilovemyspoopydad for beta-ing this chapter for me! You’re both angels!  

Edit: I accidentally uploaded the unedited version first, sorry!

Pairing: Prinxiety

Words: 2266

Tag List: @eternal-sanders @eternalsavvyskies @generalofthefangirlarmy @ireblogstuff-andineedalife @isnt-that-wizard @de-is-me @fander-berb @deadprinxietywalking @datonerougecookeh  @aaliyahadams1738 @hetaliagurl5 @ilovemyspoopydad @ai-logical @thegreatdot @protecterofalltheaus @fandomsandanythingelse @cutie5780 @bleebtheweeb @justanotherpurplebutterfly @wizxrdscorbus @imnotcrazy-i-swaer @thekwhale @worthless-dude @averaillisa @soulydyingalone @alright-cupid @gaysonofjafar @breckein-blog @kuwata-kun @waste-disposal-unit @swiggtyswag19 @lostgirlgwen @squashymoon-wink  @fandomsandnonsense7 @cutecatwhiskers @sandersandthesides @cleopolitian @mewsicalmiss @musicphanpie-b @wrendoesstuff @breeziegem @alyrie @novagalaxy4real @prompty-writer @jordisama @broadwaytheanimatedseries @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @lizziepopanime @satisfied-sanders-sides @piko-blaster @save-the-spiral @dusk-lunari @heartsthetics @la-fandom-freak @irrelevantbutfabulous @cochroachkappa-blog @thestoryoferissur @abstractedthinking @kasylikescookies @awesomelissawho @demonickittykat @not-lonely-but-alone @moonibinbon @everlalvenia @casmyth @r4v3npuff @hanramz-the-fander  @pointless-blog-name @mazalittlesadist @queer-ax

If you wanna be tagged or removed just let me know or like or reblog this post: here!

The playlist for Long Live can be found here!

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6

Keep reading

Coffee Creamer Kisses || Peter Parker [[request]]

[[requested prompt: A Peter x reader where the reader is a waitress and Peter and Aunt May come in and she serves him and they’re both a stuttering mess and she spills Peter’s water (when he goes to clean himself up Aunt May finds out your shift is ending) and Aunt May goes to the ‘bathroom’ but leaves because your shift is ending and Peter and you talk and plan a date and it’s all fluff please! I love your writing so much!]] 

i’m determined to finish all of these requests (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و 

tags: {anonymous}

{{request status: still open}}

**don’t repost/plagiarize this story! reblogs are fine!**

————————-

Originally posted by v-writings

You were a normal teenage girl who worked part time at a well known diner in Queens. So far, your shift was going great with little to no mistakes on your part. 

You hadn’t mixed up a single order and had managed to collect a decent amount of tips. With a happy bounce in your step, you look up at the time to see that it was nearing the end of your shift. You probably had another 45 minutes to go before you could head home. 

While you were busying yourself with wiping down the tables, you hear the door to the diner open as one of your coworkers alerts you to the new customers, “They’re sitting in the booth seat, do you mind taking care of them?” 

“Not at all, Patty! I got this!” You exclaim excitedly and pull out your pad, readying your pen as you head toward the table. When you got closer to the table, you finally got a good look at who was settled in the booth seat and immediately began to tense up. 

You felt your throat clench upon seeing Peter with his aunt at the table, feeling yourself turning red when you manage to stutter out, “P-Peter, hello!” 

His aunt’s eyes widen with recognition before looking back at Peter, “No wonder you wanted to eat here!” 

“M-May, it’s not what you think! I j-just really like their coffee and burgers! Who d-doesn’t like this diner’s burgers, anyways?” 

May rolls her eyes, but you weren’t paying much attention to their exchange since you were feeling so nervous at the fact that your all time crush Peter Parker was here. 

Peter was practically a celebrity at Midtown High- well actually, you take that back. He wasn’t too popular, but he was known for his genius intellect. You swear, there wasn’t a guy that was as smart (or as cute) as he was. Not only was Peter super smart, but he was incredibly kind as well. 

You remember when you shared your biology class with him. When the teacher had talked about meiosis and mitosis, you had no idea what was wrong with your brain that day because nothing seemed to click with you. By the end of the day, you were nearly pulling your hair out because you were so frustrated since you didn’t understand the lesson at all

You tried to take some time and study in the library, but you kept on mixing up all of the phases. Admittedly, you were close to giving up when a sweet voice called out your name. 

You looked up to see Peter approaching your table, placing his backpack on the ground beside him as he took a seat across from you, “Hey, uhm, I couldn’t help but notice that you were struggling a bit with mitosis and meiosis. Do you mind if I help you?” 

At his question, you quickly shake your head and eagerly accepted his help, “Please Peter, I really want to understand this so that I won’t fail this exam.” 

He flashed you a sheepish smile before opening his biology notebook, letting you read over his incredibly detailed notes before explaining the lesson to you. 

Despite how he helped you that day, you had yet to have any further contact with him, that is, until now

Even before Peter had helped you, you had always harbored a deep and embarrassing crush on him, and him being here in the diner that you worked at was not helping at all. 

Clenching your eyes shut, you take in a deep breath and think to yourself, It’s okay, it’s just a boy. A really cute boy, but still! A BOY! You’ve seen plenty of boys in your life!

But when you opened your eyes to see Peter’s nervous smile as he stared at you, you knew that you were screwed since this wasn’t just any boy; this was a boy that you were completely enamored with. 

“A-Anyways, I’m s-sorry for b-being kind of a spaz right now!” Haha, cute boys like Peter does that to me. “What can I s-start you guys off with to drink?”

“A glass of water for me.” May answers. 

“I-I’ll have some c-coffee with the s-sugar and c-cream on the side, thanks.” Peter tells you as you stiffly wrote down their drinks so that you wouldn’t forget. 

“I’ll b-be right back!” You were mentally berating yourself now for stuttering so much. God, why did your crush have to be here to ruin your perfect shift? Ever since you laid eyes on him, you knew that you were bound to fuck up one way or another. 

After waiting five minutes, you come back to Peter’s table with the drinks on your tray. Peter sees you and flashes you the most fucking adorable smile you had ever seen, and you were so captivated that you stopped paying attention to the tray in your hand. 

What transpired in the next couple of seconds was going to ruin your life. 

With increasing horror, you watch as your tray tilted as it made the tall glass of water tumble downwards-

and straight into Peter’s lap

He lets out a shaky gasp upon feeling the ice cold water land against his jeans, and you quickly set down your tray with the hot cup of coffee (you didn’t want to burn him as well!) and apologized profusely to him, “Oh god, Peter, I’m so sorry!!”

“It’s f-fine, I’m fine, totally f-fine!” Peter tries to reassure you, but you were beyond mortified at the moment to even take his words of comfort, “No really, I’m so stupid and I just- argh!!” 

Peter stands from his seat and places a hand on your shoulder, “Really, it’s okay. A little spilled water never hurt anybody, so don’t worry too much about it, okay?” 

Peter’s gaze was so sincere that you actually felt your anxiety melt away when you nodded, “O-Okay, thank you Peter, for understanding.” 

“Again, it’s not a big deal.” He gestures over to his aunt, “I’m going to clean up in the bathroom, be right back!” 

You watch Peter as he disappeared into the men’s bathroom, letting out a sigh when May began to laugh a bit at you, “There’s no need to be so nervous, [Name]. Peter is a sweet guy, and I’m sure he won’t reject you, so why don’t you just ask him out and finally put him out of his misery?” 

“Eh?! W-What are you talking about m-ma’am?” You look back at Aunt May, seeing her bright eyes twinkling in response when she told you, “You’re [Full Name], the girl Peter helped, right?”

“Y-Yes, how did you know that?” 

“Well,” May trails off, placing a hand beneath her chin as she debated on whether to tell you or not. In the end, she gives you a wide smile and says, “Peter has been talking about you nonstop, calling you the ‘cute girl in his biology class’ that he never had the guts to talk to. Apparently, he found out that you worked here from a friend of his, but ssssh, you didn’t hear that from me.”

You felt your face turn a bright shade of red in response, rendering you unable to form a coherent sentence when May quickly (thank god) changed the subject, “What time do you get off work?” 

“Uhm, at 7 ma’am.” 

“Oh, so you’ve got 20 more minutes to go?” 

You give her a nod when May picks up her purse, “Well, I’m going to go freshen up a little bit. Why don’t you go ahead and do whatever you need to do and come back to take our orders later?” 

“Okay, uhm, sorry again for spilling water on your n-nephew.”

May smiles and waves off your apology, “It’s quite alright, [Name]. I raised Peter to be a complete gentleman, and rest assured, I made sure that he would never hold grudges against pretty girls.” 

She gives you a wink before heading to the women’s bathroom, allowing you to finally breathe as you made your way back into the kitchen to calm down. 

{…}

After taking a short break, you return back out into the dining area, making your way toward Peter’s table when you stopped. 

He was all alone now, and his face was so red that you wondered if he was still mad at you since the front of his jeans were still slightly damp. 

“Peter, u-uhm, where’s your a-aunt?” 

He gulps, running a hand through his messy locks of hair before telling you, “She went home and made me s-stay here.” 

“Oh.” You were internally panicking again when you took out your pad and pen, “W-Well, you must be hungry if you stayed! So what would you like to eat?” 

Peter shakes his head and begins mixing his coffee, “I…I don’t have much of an appetite. I’ll just have coffee.” 

Your throat was clenched shut again when you bowed down to him, “P-Peter, honest, I’m really sorry for spilling water on you. I understand if you don’t wanna see me, so I’ll just-”

“NO!” Peter immediately stops you, grabbing your wrist as he pulled you back to his table, “That’s not it at all. I…I don’t have much of an appetite because I feel so nervous…because you’re here.”

You felt your cheeks turning red again when a loud whistle interrupted your thoughts. Looking back, you see your boss as he told you that your shift was done and that you could head home. 

“Okay, thank you Mr. Richards!” 

You look at Peter again, seeing him smile at you when he shyly asked, “So, you’re done with work?” 

“Y-Yes, I am.” 

“Then,” Peter clears his throat, looking away from you momentarily when he asks, “Do you mind if I walk you home?” 

{…}

This had to have been a dream. 

It had to be

There was no way that you were walking hand-in-hand with Peter Parker.

You couldn’t even believe that Peter was telling you a bunch of nerdy science jokes, and that you were actually (genuinely) laughing at each and every one of them because they were so cute and funny. 

And you found yourself blushing each time he stared at you like you were the only girl in the world (but little did you know, through Peter’s eyes, you were the only girl for him).

This had to be a sweet dream, and you were honestly afraid of waking up. 

Almost too soon, you arrive in front of your apartment building. Facing Peter, you softly thank him while shyly placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “Thank you, Peter, for walking me home. That was really sweet of you.” 

Peter shows you a crooked grin, “You sound happy, but your expression is saying otherwise. Would you rather that I not walk you home?” 

“NO! Of course not, I…I really enjoy your company. It’s just….” You bite at your bottom lip and look away from him, “I’ve always wanted to get to know you better because…I kind of really really like you. So being here with you- it’s just like a dream to me. And I’m afraid that I’ll wake up disappointed, because you won’t be there.” 

There was a tense and awkward silence in the air before you heard Peter softly say, “Then how about I prove to you that this isn’t a dream at all and that I like you, too?” 

“Huh?!” You immediately look up, realizing that Peter’s face was directly in front of you. He leans closer to you, slowly shutting his eyes when he captures your lips in a gentle kiss. 

When you taste the sweet coffee creamer against his lips, you knew that you would quickly become addicted to this feeling and wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing Peter even closer to you as you kissed him back. 

After a few seconds, Peter pulls away and breathlessly asks you to be his girlfriend, to which you answered him with much enthusiasm when you kissed him again.


[end] 

Stupid Little Thing

Pairing: Theo x Reader

Warning: Angst, swearing

A/n: Just a little something I was working on when it was raining heavily here. I hope you enjoy it!

masterlist

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines


It was raining. It usually was raining around exam time, and that’s something you’ve noticed over the last two years in University. Anytime the whole student body started to panic about exams, it started to rain, and it rained for days upon end, no sign of the sun splitting the stones anytime soon.

The library was filled with students from all different courses, but all doing the same thing; cramming. It was nearing nine in the evening, when you decided that was it; you had enough, you packed away your laptop and the three textbooks that you purchased over a year ago into your bag. The person sitting beside you left about twenty minutes ago, but his laptop and books were still there. You picked up your purple hoodie resting on the floor, throwing it on and zipping it up, loving the feeling of how baggy it felt.

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Valentine Double Date

A somewhat long fic (around 6k words) about Touken and Ayahina’s double date, which began from a girl’s innocent attempt at pushing her Onee-chan and Onii-chan together. Mostly fluff, hints of angst. This is a fic I wrote to have fun and let myself go so it’s nowhere close to the standard of my older fic, but this poor lonely single soul just wanted to have something to do on Valentine’s Day. ;_; Enjoy!

Please reblog if you like this! Feel free to leave comments/ request anything!


“Please say yes!” Hinami was almost screaming, as she clasped her hands together and leaned forward in a perfect bow. Kaneki and Touka blinked in disbelief for a moment, looking at each other before looking at her again. 

“You want us…” Kaneki murmured hesitantly. 

“… to follow you and Ayato on your date?” Touka continued, tilting her head in confusion. “But why?”

“B-Because… tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and…” Hinami murmured, her cheeks completely flushed as she shifted about uncomfortably. “I feel uneasy going out alone with him.” 

“Uneasy?” Touka wondered in confusion. “But weren’t the two of your partners in Aogiri? You were alone quite a lot, right?”

“Yeah but…” Hinami sighed, took a deep breath and let it out, fingers fumbling with one another. “This is different from that… I just… don’t…” 

“If you don’t want to go, you should tell him—”

“No! I want to go!” Hinami yelped, cutting into Kaneki’s words. “But but but… A-Ayato-kun scares me sometime!”

“Oh, is that so?” Kaneki said, turning to Touka with a blank expression. “I don’t mind… Is that okay with you, Touka-chan?”

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anonymous asked:

hiii! first lemme confess that I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING SO MUCH YOU ARE MY GODDESS. And i was wondering if i can request mini fic on how will rfa+V/Saeran react that after a HUGE fight and misunderstanding MC just left them, was never seen and didn't make any contact. But two or three years later by coincidence they found her in another country (or city) with a child beside her that looks so identical to them (dunno if it will work for baehee ^^;;) AGAIN THANK YOU AND I WUV YOU HUGS ANDKISSES

AHHHHH YOU MADE MY DAY LOVELY ANON. I am so happy you like my writing <3. But wowwee this is an AMAZING request and I had so much fun writing this. Honestly, I don’t think Mini-Fics do this justice but I will post this diddly here and write a sequel post to this maybe next Saturday? :D I am going to keep this under the tab because it is SOOOO LONG GAHDAMN. Thanks so much and as always your love is much appreciated~ 

Show me and this post some love by FOLLOW/LIKE/REBLOG <3

Also I want to apologize to my Baehee lovers- I REALLY REALLY tried to figure out how to incorporate her into this, but I just couldn’t. I love baehee too but i just couldn’t I grant you all permission to stone me now D:

THANKIES MY BABIES <3

-ALSO SPOILER ALERT READ WITH CAUTION- 

Yoosung:

He was doing it once again; he compared you to her.

Hasn’t he realized by now, after two years of being together that you were

nothing like Rika?

Were you just her replacement?

All you wanted was for him to study, he had a huge exam coming up and he was still raging on LOLOL. You pulled the headphones off his head and he glared at you angrily, “What the hell, MC? I was in the middle of the game?” 

“Yoosung, you have your biochemistry exam tomorrow, you need to study and get some sleep or you will fail,” you said, annoyed that he was being upset with you for caring.

“God MC, can you just leave me alone? Who even cares? I’ll study when I am done playing,” he said as he glared at you once again, snatching the headphones out of your hands and placing them back on the top of his head

That was it. You have had enough and you went over and just unplugged the computer, inciting a loud yell from your boyfriend.

“Why the hell did you do that? I lost all of my progress. Why can’t you just understand and leave me alone? Rika would have.” He spat angrily.

You felt your heart shatter to pieces, tears now beginning to stream down your face. “Is that all I am to you? A replacement for the crush you had on your cousin?” You didn’t even wait for him to reply, you went into his room and pulled all of your stuff into a suitcase. 

You walked back out to find him sitting on the couch looking down at his hands. You saw that he was still upset, but so were you. You wanted nothing more but the best for him, you wanted to love and cherish him but you could only be yourself. You were your own person and nobody’s replacement. You opened the door, walking out of his life, looking back one last time you said, “Goodbye Yoosung, I hope that you get over her eventually.” With that, you were gone.

~

Three long years had passed, and Yoosung had regretted that day ever since. Why didn’t I just stop playing the stupid game? I did need to study for that exam, I threw everything away, I am so stupid.

Three long years had passed since MC had left him. After he calmed down he went to Rika’s apartment, hoping that she was there and that he could apologize. He opened the door to find it empty, he asked Seven to try locating her, but he couldn’t find her, all he knows is that she got onto a train and then the trail went dry. 

He had become depressed, the came home and trashed his computer, letting out all his pent out anger on the mechanic device, tears flowing down his face freely. He poured himself into work, finishing school with honors, to most of his professor’s surprises.

He took a year off before furthering his education, hoping to do some travel, to try forgetting the pain that etched his heart permanently. He was going to go backpacking in Switzerland, staying with a small host family in a tiny village. He hoped to learn something about the animal and plant life there but also hoping that the manual labor would help him forget his mistakes, what he had done.

He made the love of his life cry, and have all the happiness drain from his life. He felt a jolt as the car pulled up to the rural village. He stepped out to meet his host family and get settled down. He laid on the bed, contemplating if this really was the right thing to do. He felt tears leave cold trails down his cheeks it was so painful. He had to do something, to try getting over MC. He had ruined things, and he deserved every ounce of pain that he was receiving now. 

His ears perked at the soft succession of knocks on his door. He shot up, grabbing his head and groaning at the lightheadedness he was feeling. 

“Yoosung, the town has gathered to meet you, won’t you come say hello?” his host mother said cheerfully.

He knew he couldn’t decline, he got up and freshened himself up. He went outside to see a large group of people waiting anxiously outside for him. He introduced himself shyly as they exchanged pleasantries. He found himself wanting to escape, the sadness from thinking about MC still gnawing at his heart slowly.

 After what felt like hours, he went to his host mother and told her that he was going inside to begin unpacking. 

“Oh but wait, Yoosung, you have yet to meet one more person. She teaches at the local school here, hold on let me go grab her… oh, actually I see her making her way over here.” The host mother replied glibly.

 Yoosung was about to politely decline as he glanced back at the teacher. His eyes watered and the cadence of his heart had increased furiously. He felt all the blood rush to his head and began feeling lightheaded once again. This is a dream, right? There is no way MC would be here right?

He knew the answer, though. More so, he saw the answer when you two finally made eye contact, the blood drained from your face and you immediately stopped. It was like there was no one else around, that you two were the only two people in the whole world. The dam broke and tears began slowly falling from his eyes, as he whispered your name out loud, the first time in years. He began walking over to you, desperately trying to close the distance between the two of you, the distance that he had caused.

 He was shaken out of his reverie by a child, a little girl who clung onto you, “Mommy”. As the words came out of the young girl’s mouth Yoosung felt his heart sink. She moved on, she’s a mother now. He looked at you, heart breaking in his eyes and looked back at the child.

The child, feeling his gaze on him, finally looked over and made eye contact. Yoosung fell to his knees, he was finding it difficult to breathe, he was so confused. He was looking right into the same pair of Amethyst irises that were on his own face. What is going on? There’s no way…right? And with that, darkness clouded his vision as he closed the short distance to the ground with a soft thump.

~To be continued~


Zen:

You were late. It felt like your heart had dropped into your stomach, even before you saw the lines on the pregnancy test, deep down you knew, you were pregnant. So many emotions consumed you at once; you were terrified and extremely excited. You and Zen had made a baby out of your love. You were overjoyed, to say the least. You ran to text your lovely boyfriend. Your two year anniversary was coming up in a few days and asked him to come early that day, you were going to surprise him over dinner and you couldn’t wait.

It felt like an eternity waiting for your boyfriend to come home from rehearsal, you guys had a reservation and you were seriously cutting it close. You heard a knock at the door and you opened it to a bouquet of roses in front of your face, behind them your lovely silver haired boyfriend stood, grinning ear to ear.

“Happy Anniversary Babe,” he said as he pulled you in for a kiss. You felt so happy you were going to cry. Pulling away, you interlocked your fingers and rushed out onto the street. It was a beautiful day and you really needed to walk these nerves off. What better way to spend the day, with the man you love. You listened intently as he rambled on about practice and how he was in line for a new A-List movie.

Things really were looking up, Zen making his big break on the big screen and you were going to start a family together. You guys were finally seated, when you heard a shrill cry from the table near you, you saw a mother trying to calm her baby down, the father cooing lovingly at the child. You wondered if that is how it would be when you gave birth, your heart swelling with longing.

“Ugh, thank god that is not us babe,” Zen said as he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I know I said I wanted to start a family with you, and I do, but there is no way I could be on my career track and have to worry about some brat”

You felt your heart shatter and you sank in your seat, “What do you mean by that Zen? I thought you wanted a family…” you asked as cautiously as you could without revealing your emotions to him.

“Hmm, I probably do, but having one

right now

would be a total inconvenience, ” he said as he picked at his food. “I’m just breaking the ice to become and A-Lister, it would be the end of my career if we had a kid now”

You felt your whole world shatter, an inconvenience. This is the man you love how on earth could you make him choose between you and his dream job. You kept up the happy façade as you continued to enjoy each other’s company for the night.

The next day, when Zen left for his final audition, he kissed you goodbye and for good luck. Little did he know it was the last time you would kiss him. You knew, that if he had to choose between his career and you, he would pick you. Wel, you hoped, part of you was terrified to find out, so you made the decision for him. You packed all of your things, and quickly scribbled a small letter for him and walked out, hoping that you made the right choice.

~

He had moved on. He was Zen, the award-winning A-List actor, men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. So why was he still hung up on MC?

It shattered his heart, him coming home, ecstatic, ready to share the news that he had landed the role. Only to find his house empty, every trace of her gone from his apartment, a simple note left on the table. I’m sorry Zen, I can’t do this anymore.

He hunted for her, looking everywhere but came up empty. She clearly did not want to be found. Where did he go wrong? Had he not loved her properly? Was she not satisfied because he was not a hot shot star yet? Did she find someone better? In the end, it was her loss, because he was now famous and couldn’t spare her a second thought. 

Yet every night, no matter who laid in bed next to him that day, he felt his mind wander to her. His needs were animalistic and emotions were too troublesome to deal with. He took what he needed to and they never heard from him again, he was not going to let someone play with him like that again. Yeah, he was totally over her. 

He was traveling to L.A, to shoot a scene for his new movie. Everything had been done smoothly, they were ahead of scheduled in the shooting and he had some down time. Why not sightsee? He loved the attention that he received for his unique looks and status, he paraded down the streets, window shopping, when he came across a small bookstore.

He felt the blood rushing in his ears, MC loved bookstores like this. He brushed the painful feeling that was swarming inside of him, as he casually walked into the store. He looked around, brushing his fingers against titles you used to love. Ah, I believe this one was her favorite yes?

As he pulled the book out, he heard someone, “Do you need help finding anything sir? That is a splendid read, my favorite actually.” He froze, he knew that voice, how could he forget. When he reads the letter, he hears it in that voice, the voice that completely broke his heart. His eyes hardened as he turned around, the temperature dropping considerably in the store as he met your eyes, your face blanching.

“Well well well, look who we have here. What was your name again? MD? Something like that no?” he claimed snarkily, as you flinched from the harsh words he spat at you. “Being the man I am, and the number of women I have been with, you all just kind of blur together.” 

“Nice to see you Zen,” you said as he saw you clench your jaw. “I am glad to see you’re doing well.” 

His ruby irises flashed in anger briefly, he was not going to let you have the satisfaction of knowing you could still affect him. He gave you a haughty laugh as he sneered, “Well of course after you left me, my life changed for the better. So maybe I should say thank you?” It took him everything he had to not visibly flinch in front of you, but he had to prove that he was doing better, that you still didn’t have your fingers in him. Even though all he wanted to do was pull your long tresses out of that ponytail and feel the silky strands against his fingers. He wanted to bury his hands in your hair as he pulled you close, his other hand on your waist as he felt the warmth of you lips against his, but he was not weak.

These past three years have hardened him and he was not going to let you uproot all of his hard work. “Have a nice life MC.” He said, noticing the sadness wash over your face as he abruptly walked out of the store. 

What on earth am I doing? He thought to himself, as he watched you. What am I a stalker now?

He didn’t know why, but his feet seemed to wander back to the little shop, he knew he was extremely conspicuous so he donned some sunglasses and a hat, which he tucked all of his hair into. He watched you, as you wiped a few stray tears from your face, his heart clenched. Had it been before he would have run into the store and kissed the tears away. However, this was not before and he was not the same naïve man he used to be.

 He watched as you checked the time and quickly locked the store up. He watched you and began following you. I simply want to see if she’s doing worse, to make sure that she’s not happier than she was when she was with me right? This is to only make me feel better since I’m totally over her.

He followed you for quite a while, admiring the view. Noticing that nothing had really changed. Minus the fact that before, his place would have been right next to you, holding your hand, cherishing you. Not longing for you from afar. He saw as you stood outside a daycare center, watching the children play. He had wanted to start a family with you, once he had secured his role in the movie, he was going to ask you to marry him that night, but apparently he was not good enough.

He wondered, was the man you were with right now, making you laugh like he had? Did he hold your hand like he always did? Did he wake up and make breakfast for you or tickle you like he had? Did he love you as passionately as he did? The mere thought made him clench his jaw tightly. Was he responsible for your smile now that Zen was deemed unworthy of that task?

His train of thought was broken and he felt his jaw drop. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He saw the child hugging MC, and MC speaking to him affectionately. He was shaking, he wanted to scream, to cry, anything. He was so confused. The little boy had a striking resemblance to him; it was like he was looking into his own crimson eyes. The boy even had the same white hair that his hands were gripping tightly. It was like looking at pictures of him again during the toddler stage.

Slowly, he made his way over. He stood behind, the woman who had crushed him. Completely and utterly destroyed him. He needed answers.

He saw your face ashen as you caught his eyes. He looked at you and the child repeatedly. Gears spinning in his head, it can’t be. There is no way, right? He continued to stare at the child, now shying away from your stares. A series of emotions rushed onto his face, joy, sadness, anger but most of all confusion. Finally, he gathered his nerves and look right at you, your eyes filled to the brim with tears, completely speechless.

“MC, there’s no way right?”

~To be continued~


Jumin:

“Honey, please, would you just tell me what is wrong? Did something happen at work? Why are you in such a terrible mood?” you asked the stoic man who sat across from you at the table, his metallic irises piercing yours as he glared at you. You felt yourself visibly flinch and shrink away from his cold glare.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?” he spat out angrily. “I saw you today, flirting with the Director of Marketing, you were laughing quite shamelessly at what he said.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, you and Jumin had been engaged for two years now. In the beginning, he was scarily possessive when Elizabeth had run away. He eased up and slowed down and your relationship was amazing. You enjoyed time with each other, felt the love blossom between the two of you, but recently he had been regressing back into his jealous, possessive ways.

“Juju, honey, I promise. I was merely being polite and making small talk- you know that you are the only person my heart beats for, the only person I love so dearly,” you said softly, as you reached for his hand.

He ripped his hand away from yours harshly his eyes were stone cold. “Do I really know that? The Director of Marketing is very well off, you could be spreading your legs for him, for all that I know” he said, his voice laced with such disgust it made you feel as if you had done something wrong.

Tears began to well in your eyes, begging you to come out. No, you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You merely looked at him, anger radiating off of you, as you were looking face to face with the man that just ripped your heart out and stepped on it like it was utter trash.

It felt like a millennia had passed before either of you said anything. Jumin was the first one to speak, “Perhaps you should leave, MC,” he said, as he turned around. “I need some time.”

You were done. You had given this man everything, and he crushed you. You simply could not do it anymore, the possessiveness, the jealousy, the accusations. It took all of your strength to stand up and walk away, you grabbed a suitcase and threw all of your essential into it and began walking out. You paused momentarily, taking off your engagement ring and placing it on the table, “You want time? Well now you’ve got it because I am done” you said venomously and with that, you walked out and away from the man that claimed your heart.

~

He said he needed time and that was this mistake, one of many he had made that night. When she walked out of his life, he thought that he would be able to locate her easily but she had completely wiped herself off the grid. She must have changed her name and created and alias because even seven couldn’t locate her. Jumin was not giving up, though. Even now, three years later, he still carried her engagement ring in his breast pocket.

He was on the plane, on the way to London, to speak to another potential business client, when he felt his mind wander to her, as it did most of the day. Day in and day out, he poured himself into his work, even giving up Elizabeth to Yoosung. It was completely his fault that she had left; he pushed her away, even throwing grotesque accusations at her. He overheard from his employees that the Director of Marketing was cheating on his wife and had his eyes set on his beloved. When he saw them talking all rational thought left his head and he couldn’t think straight. He knew that you would never betray him like that, you had given him more love and happiness than he deserved, he self-sabotaged everything he had going on and he despised himself for it.

He knew that she belonged to herself and that he could not control her. However, the very thought of losing her made him go insane. Life worked in mysterious ways because in the end he pushed her away and he was still miserable. He was not giving up, though, he would continue searching for her until his very last breath.

The one time that Driver Kim does not accompany him, everything seems do go wrong. He had finished the meeting he had with his business client and he was on his was back to his hotel when the car was having some issues. It seemed that it was going to take three hours for someone to come out and help, seeing that it was rush hour. Jumin’s head was throbbing, his heart was chronically aching but more so today, he decided that since he had no other options he would go for a walk. He was in London, some sight seeing surely would not hurt anyone.

He began walking down the street and came across and ice cream parlor, his mind wandered again to his beloved MC. He remembered how when they had gone on their first date, he insisted on going to a five-star restaurant but she denied. She said that she would pick and that Jumin had to wear casual clothing. Their first date was at an ice cream store, where they simply talked and enjoyed each others company, they then went to a park where they just sat and talked for hours and looked at the clouds. He found himself smiling to himself, missing her dearly.

He kept strolling on, passing a jewelry store, when a necklace caught his eyes. It was very simple, a crescent moon with a heart dangling to the center of the moon. He went into the store and purchased it, pleased with himself because he knew it would look wonderful on MC. She was always very simplistic, finding pleasure in the small things in life, never getting anything too gaudy or over the top. He felt himself cringe, as he remembered what he had said to her before he drove her away, her referred to her as parasitical, a gold digger. He was absolutely ridiculous because MC was anything but so. He felt his head begin to throb once again and the pain in his chest was unbearable at this point.

He spotted a small park across the street and decided to go sit down for a bit and maybe calm down. The park was very small and quaint, surrounded by nature. His mind began to wander to MC, as it had been all day. Oh how he missed her, he was a fool. He was kicking himself when he felt something again his leg. He looked up to see a ball against his leg, as he picked it up he heard the small patter of footsteps.

“Hey, Mister! That’s our ball you can’t steal it” he looked down to see two children running over to him as fast as their tiny legs could take them. The little girl had her raven hair tied in braids and the little boy’s raven hair flounced up and down as he ran over. He felt himself smile, but what struck him the most was that it was as if he was staring into his own eyes, since the children each had a pair of their own silver eyes, he found them absolutely adorable.

Bending down so he was on his knees in front of them, he handed the ball over to them and gently ruffled their hair. “There you go kids, make sure you be careful when you play,” he said to them as he felt himself smile once again softly.

“Woooooah. Hey, mister, you have silver eyes too?” the kids asked him, completely awestruck. “That is so cool” they squealed. “Mommy says that our daddy has silver eyes like us too, I hope we get to meet him one day”

He was about to reply to the children when he felt his heart stop beating. The blood in his veins ran cold, he rubbed his eyes roughly. This… surely this is a dream, right?

“Kids~ what did I tell you about running off?” he knew that melodious voice, he knew the owner of that voice. He turned his head and saw you, looking as beautiful as ever. Your long hair cascading effortlessly down your shoulders, worry painting your features. How was it possible for you to become even more beautiful?

Kids? She got married? Of course, she had gotten married, any man would be lucky to have MC, I should know. He turned his back to her and was about to say something to the children in front of him when they shot out from his arms.

“Mommy! We found out ball, that nice man over there helped us out” they said as they ran over to you. His blood ran cold once more. “Mommy? No way? That cannot be possible, that would mean that…” he thought to himself as he clenched his hand into a fist.

You let out a laugh and he felt his heart squeeze. He missed your laugh; it was one of his favorite sounds in the world. He craves for your smile and to feel your lips against his. “Well guys, let’s be polite and go say thank you to the kind sir” he heard you say, as he turned around.

He saw as his eyes met yours, the surprise on your face. He saw the color drain from your face completely. He saw a flash of anger that crossed your eyes. What pained him the most was the pain that was blatantly obvious on your face, seeing him caused you so much pain that he saw you physically flinch.

A whirlwind of emotions were flowing inside him for the first time in 3 years, he clenched his heart, eyes pleading with MC, begging her to say something, anything.

~To be continued~


Seven:

He was spiraling, regressing at a rapid rate. It all started a few days ago. Seven had been sitting at home for nearly a week, you decided to take him outside, so see that new scary movie and maybe look at the stars together. Honestly, you’d watch grass grow if you could be with Saeyoung.

He was in a better mood, happy to finally get a break from work and he always loved date night. Unfortunately, he was a secret agent and happiness was always short lived. Someone from another agency who was not too happy with Saeyoung, they grabbed you and shoved you to the ground.

Fists flew and there was shouting, the next thing you knew was that Saeyoung was carrying you up into your shared home. He gently placed you on the bed as he began cleaning your wounds. His shoulders began to shake as he broke down sobbing, apologizing endlessly. 

You grabbed his face and peppered it with kisses, reassuring him that you were strong. This slight plain was nothing than the pain you would be in if you couldn’t be by his side. Maybe that’s where it all went wrong you initially put the idea of not being by his side into his head.

He had gone back to how it was when you were back at Rika’s apartment. In fact, he might be even colder than he was back then. It was like the past two years of you two being together had not even happened. Whenever you would say something to him, he would give you cold responses, he even stopped going to bed with you. He simply did not sleep or slept in his workroom.

It was starting to drive you insane. You had enough, you stomped into his room as he gave you another cold glance and went back to typing rapidly. “Saeyoung, what is going on? Why do you insist on pushing me away?” you asked, pleasing your voice to stop shaking.

Sighing, he stood up and threw his headphones down, “Honestly, I’m getting tired of you, MC. You always nag me, bother me and harass me. You’re constantly smothering me! I feel suffocated in my own god damn home.” He yelled.

 You cursed yourself, as you felt yourself flinch at his harsh words. You knew this was a tactic, for him to just push you away. At least you hoped it was. Anxiety ate away at you sometimes, wondering if he meant anything that he said to you when he was like this.

You gathered yourself, feigning confidence, “Saeyoung please, I love you. I know that you’re just doing this to push me away. I love you more than anything in the world…please” you said, your voice breaking.

He let out a vicious laugh, and looked at you, his eyes hard. You nearly whimpered at the person before you, surely this wasn’t your lovely seven, this guy seemed to despise you. “See here’s the thing MC, I don’t think I love you. Not anymore. In fact, I don’t think I ever did, I think it was just that you were the shiny new toy in the RFA. I had to watch you and yeah I noticed that you had a nice ass that I could tap, but love? Don’t flatter yourself” a grim smile, plastered on his face.

Tears were now freely running down your face. The pain was bone crushing, you were left trying to catch your breath. You couldn’t believe this was happening. Was everything a lie? He never loved me? It was one sided this entire time? It would have hurt less if he had slapped you. 

“Well, since you clearly don’t feel the same, let me do you the favor of leaving. So I don’t bother you anymore.” You said quietly. You went into your shared bedroom and gathered your things. You went back into the workroom and quietly took off the pendant that Saeyoung had given you and left.

The wind was harsh, but the cold front that Seven had was worse. Being heartbroken was utterly unbearable. Sobs escaped you as you flagged down a taxi. You left the man that you loved more than anything in the world. Never looking back, hoping that maybe someday he would be happy, even if that meant it wasn’t with you.

~

It was for the best, he thought to himself. That day when his enemies had hurt her, he saw red. He was causing her pain, putting her in danger. He loved her more than anything, but she deserved better. She deserved a happy stable husband that can take her out on dates without the risk of being mauled and beaten. 

He was genuinely surprised when she had actually gotten up and left. Isn’t that what he wanted? He said some vulgar things to you, things that were not even remotely true. He watched as you got into a taxi and drove away. He knew this was for the best, that you deserved better, that you could do so much better than him.

He knew. Too bad he was a selfish bastard. Three weeks had gone by and he was out of tears. His heart was clenching with unbearable pain. He gave up and decided to go find her. To his surprise, it seemed that she did not want to be found. She watched as she bounced from taxi to taxi, confusing him. He was going mad, unable to even see her through CCTV’s. He had the love of his life, in his arms and he pushed her away. He fell back, tears stinging at his eyes once more. He deserves this, to be unhappy; she was always too good for him. He had hurt her so he would live life miserably knowing that he caused all of this.

It has been three years and not a day goes by where he doesn’t think of MC. He reverted back to his 707 persona, acting like everything was okay, when it most certainly was not. Alas, he was travelling and that always took his mind off of things. He had to fly over to New York, to see the launch of some fancy new tech. During the plane ride, he couldn’t help but think of you, as he felt the cold metal of his pendant against his chest. A harsh reminder to him everyday of what he had lost. 

New york was busy and bustling, just how he liked it. No one knew him here and no one cared. He attended the tech launch and was bored out of his mind. He decided to make his way over to a diner to grab some food as he smiled to himself softly. You would so proud of me MC, I’m having a meal that doesn’t entail hbc or phd pepper.

He pulled out his laptop, and began finishing up some last minute work for Vanderwood. Well, he tried too. His mind kept wandering to you, how much he searched for you and hoped to see you just even it was a small glimpse. Groaning, he pulled up all of the security footage in the entire state of New York, it was a long shot but he ran a facial recognition scan through all of the security footage.

He knew it would take a while, he sat and patiently waited, trying so very hard to not get his hopes up. His hopes to find you, because what were the chances that you were here? His thoughts were filled to the brim with you, the first time you kissed, the first time he laid eyes on you, he always knew, you were the one. 

There was no one else for him. He loved you so dearly but he’d rather be alive and well if it meant you couldn’t be by his side. He jumped as he heard his laptop ping quietly. No way. You were here, in New York.

He saw that you worked at a office building on the other side of town and that you would be leaving in an hour and a half. He quickly paid his bill and bolted out of the restaurant. He hailed a taxi and gave him the address. His heart was pounding and he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline. He could see her. He didn’t even need to talk to her. He just wanted to silently watch her and make sure she was all right, that she was happy. 

The taxi finally pulled up next to the large office building, just in time to see her walking out. Seven pulled his hood over his head and kept his eyes low and rounded the corner. He watched her as she walked outside, looking as radiant as ever. She was older and more beautiful than he could ever imagine. To his irritation, he saw that she walked outside with one of her male coworkers, who seemed to be hitting on her. She politely smiled and declined, seven felt his heart swell with happiness.

He knew that he shouldn’t hold her back and that he should be happy for her. He was the one that ruined things between them. He quietly followed her, longing for her as she went on with the rest of her day.

He watched her, she seemed more voluptuous than before, curves that turned him on more than anything. It took him everything he had to not grab her butt everytime it caught his eye. She had cut her long hair, and it was now shoulder length, she always had a baby face but this made her look even younger. He watched has her locks bounced with every step she took. 

They turned into a residential area, he jumped when he heard her groan. She paused briefly and seven bent down to pretend to tie his shoe. He heard her curse as she pulled off her heels, and held them in her hands as she resumed her pace. He laughed silently to himself, looks like some things never change.

He watched as she walked into a nearby park, filled with a few kids. He was surprised to hear her yelling and even more surprised when he saw a child run into her arms. She fell back laughing, smothering the child with kisses, as she did to him once. His heart stopped beating. The child had red hair and his own amber eyes, even more so the child was wearing glasses. He began to shake, there was no way this could be right? Surely God was this cruel?

Deep down, he knew the answer. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself. That child was his, born from the love he and MC had. His heart swelled in love and affection when his breath hitched in his throat. I abandoned MC, while she was pregnant with our child. I’m a fucking monster. 

He fell to his knees groaning, grabbing his shirt, the pain in his chest unbearable. “S-Saeyoung?” his head snapped up to look straight into MC’s. She held the child to her, and he was the spitting image of Saeyoung. He looked at the child and back at MC. His brain trying to find the words to say, what on earth could he say?

His heart shattered when he heard her inhale. Tears were flowing gently down her cheeks heartbreak was prevalent on her face, engraved in her eyes. He couldn’t say anything; he just stared at her. He was the cause of all of this. He came, crashing into her life, creating a mess and then simply leaves and here he was once again creating a mess. He was terrible for her, but he wanted, more than anything. He never stopped loving her, not even for a second, he wanted to be a part of his sons life, but he simply could not find the words to say.   

“Mommy? Why are you sad?” the tiny redhead said as he wiped MC’s tears, shooting a tiny glare at Seven.

 He felt his heart swell with pride. Ah yes son, good job protect your mother. The worst thing for her in this world is me.

~To be continued~


V:

You were constantly living in her shadow. She tormented and tortured V for years. Abusing him so severely that he still was under the impression that he owed her something. It made you feel sick. You tried to not let that bother you but it was certainly weighing down on your relationship with V.

How could he still even think of her? That bitch? That’s why when he accidentally called you, “Rika” your blood ran cold. You couldn’t help the tears that began pooling in your eyes as you looked at your lover.

He didn’t even realize his mistake; he just kept on talking, as if nothing had happened. He looked and saw that you were on the verge of tears, “MC, I apologize, I was simply confused for a second…” he tried to explain.

“Is that all I am for you V, a replacement for Rika? Because from where I stand she will always be your number one and I can’t keep being beat by some woman that treated you so poorly. Not when I love you this much,’’ you said as you began sobbing into your hands.

 Loving him was becoming way too painful, you couldn’t help your selfishness, “V, I’m sorry but I don’t think you love me.” His jaw dropped as he watched you get up and grab your things. You quickly packed your bags, willing yourself to not cry. You were the one who was ending things, why was it so painful?

You grabbed your things and made your way to the door. You paused momentarily and looked back at the blue haired man sitting on the couch. He was staring at his hands, thinking silently. “Goodbye V.” and like that you were gone. 

You made your way outside, looking back. Leaving behind the man you loved more than anything in the world. Tears began falling rapidly down your face once again. There’s no way he’s going to come after me-he still loves her.

~

He failed Rika once and now he failed you. I don’t think you love me. Those words have haunted him for the past three years. He loved you more than anything, more than he ever loved Rika, but he still ended up hurting you. 

Seeing you in tears had broken him. He never wanted to be the cause of your sadness, of your tears, but he always was. He was frustrated, angry with himself for letting the love of his life out of his reach. He wanted to run after you, beg you not to leave, that you held a far more special place in his heart thank Rika ever did. You were his soul mate, his life partner. But how could he?

 He didn’t deserve you. You were leaving him and he would let you. If that is what it meant for you to be happy, for tears to stop flowing down your face, then he would suffer so that you could be happy. 

He did his best to get his mind off of you. The travelled constantly, pouring himself into his work, not coming back to Korea in 3 years. Was it successful? Not in the least. On every adventure he went on, the more he missed you. The late night phone calls or him constantly sending you pictures, hell he still bought you a souvenir from every place he visited.

He was back in town finally, for the first time in years. He wondered if you were happy? Had you moved on, did you love someone else now? Were they treating you right? He felt his heart throb at the thought of you being loved by someone other than him. He endured it though, if someone were more qualified to love you then he would graciously hand you over.

He started at the suitcase full of souvenirs that he brought back for you. Surely things were a bit awkward, but you guys could work at being friends right? He decided that he would go visit you-to deliver the souvenirs since it would be wasteful if he didn’t give them to you. He called Luciel immediately, asking him to track you down.

Luciel picked up right away, “V?! Are you back in Korea? It’s been three years we all thought you died?”

 “Luciel please, can you find MC, I need to talk to her.” V replied calmly.

Luciel’s tone shifted, hardening a bit, “Yeah V, you guys really need to talk. I can’t believe you did that to MC. That’s between you and her, I will text you the address.” And with that the hacker was gone.

He knew the RFA was probably disappointed in him and MC splitting up. He knew things would be weird that’s why he left, without saying a word to anyone. He did not want to force them to choose between him and her. He would simply suffer by himself silently, as he always did.

He made his way to MC’s house and rang the doorbell. His heart was beating considerably fast. He was definitely still enamoured with her. He couldn’t help it, three years was not enough time to forget the love of your life.

 He heard the lock click and the door open, his heart raced even more as he looked into the face of his beloved. She was as beautiful as he remembered. She was so shocked to see him she dropped her phone and covered her open mouth. Various emotions fleeted over her features; anger, happiness and most prominently sadness.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she looked at him. All he wanted to do was confort her like he used to. Just pull her into a crushing hug, whispering sweet nothings into her ears. He gave her a bashful smile, “MC is it alright if I come in? I wanted to talk to you, maybe catch up” 

His smile fell promptly as he saw you gather yourself and shake your head vigorously, “I don’t think that’s a good idea V” He felt his heart shatter, the pain was startling. He was about to rebuttal, when he heard a tiny voice from inside call his attention.

“Mommy? Where’d you go?” “Mommy? Ah, so she did move on” he thought to himself bitterly. He had disappeared for three years, what did he expect? For her to welcome him back with open arms? To have things go back to what they were, her and him hopelessly in love?

He forced himself to swallow the pain that was beginning to build up inside him. He was about to tell her the reason for his visit and excuse himself out of her life once again. When he caught a glimpse of the young boy. He looked at MC, tears now running down his own face.

The child, had his blue hair and MC’s eyes. It was so very clear who the parents of this child were, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. This is a dream right? There is no way this little boy is my son? That I abandoned MC and missed the first few years of my child’s life?

He looked into MC’s eyes and he felt his eyes plead with hers. Please tell me I didn’t leave you alone like this. The answer was displayed clear as day on her face. He wasn’t surprised, he had hoped it was true and it was. This was their son. Why hadn’t MC said anything to me?

He grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug, “please MC, tell me what’s going on.”

~to be continued~


Saeran:

You didn’t know what to do and you were complete terrified to your wits end. You had taken a pregnancy test and it came back positive. You were thrilled that you were carrying the being that came from your and Saeran’s love. You were absolutely ecstatic but you were terrified, you had never had this conversation with him before. Hell you didn’t even know if he wanted kids.

You ran to meet him at the ice cream shop, where you went every evening. You caught glimpse of your adorable red headed muffin standing outside, patiently waiting for you. You loved him so much, and he was working so very hard every single day for you. You snuck behind him and hugged him tightly. You felt him exhale and softly laugh, turning around and grabbing your face, bringing your lips to his own.

 You walked in and ordered your usual order, a banana split with your three favorite flavors. Usually you ate inside the parlor, but you insisted on taking a quick walk to the park to sit and eat there, the fresh air would do you both some good right?

Saeran went along with whatever you wanted, ad you sat at the bench, you saw a family with four rambunctious kids walk by. They were all screaming and your heart plummeted, you wondered if that would be you one day. Having a million kids  and hating your life. You cleared your throat, “Oh my gosh, Saeran, look at that family and how many kids they have, isn’t that cute?” you prodded cautiously.

He wrinkled his nose, “You think that’s cute? Kids are totally gross and they seem like their annoying. If you want to deal with someone immature then why not just talk to my brother?” he said as he shoveled another bite of ice cream into his eager mouth.

You lost your appetite completely; he doesn’t want kids? You felt a bit depressed; you wanted a family so very badly. You decided to drop this for now, deciding on the best time to bring it up to him again.

You two walked back home and feel captive to exhaustion. You had slept for a few hours, when you woke up to some noises, pounding to be exact. You woke up and glanced at your phone, the harsh light burning your unadjusted eyes. It was 3am, what on earth? You reached over to ask Saeran if he heard that noise as well, when your hands touched the empty sheets. 

He wasn’t there. You knew what this was. You shot up out of bed and ran to search for him. You found him in the living room, groaning and punching the wall repeatedly. Blood was dripping off his knuckles.

 “Saeran, please honey, it’s me. Come back to bed so I can treat your wounds.” You asked calmly.

 “No. No. NO.” he yelled. “I can’t do this. Pretend that everything is okay and that I am happy. I still feel that bitch in my head and I can’t do this. I can’t be with you. You need to leave.

 You felt your heart drop, “Please Saeran, you don’t mean that, just come on back to bed” you said as you gently reached for him. You felt a sting as he slapped you hand away, tears sprung into your eyes, not from the pain but simply because you were shocked at his cold reaction.  

Don’t tell me what I mean okay? I can’t be with you MC. It’s too hard. Please just leave me alone and get out of my life. I don’t want you anymore; you are just burdening me at this point” he spat angrily.

You were surprised that the tears that threatened to fall hadn’t yet. You looked at him for a few minutes before finally acknowledging it. You couldn’t be there for him. You weren’t helping him. You were making things worse. You went into the room and packed your suitcase, silently, shocked at how composed you were being.

Placing a hand on your stomach protectively, you thought to yourself that maybe this was for the best. If you were so burdensome to him, imagine what the child would be? You would suffer as much as you could but there was no way you were going to let Saeran or this child suffer. You had failed him in loving him, and you would regret it forever.

 You heaved the backpack on your shoulders, and looked at him once more. Looking at the man that held your heart, your entire being. “Saeran, I am so sorry I failed you. I hope you find happiness, I will love you forever” you turned and walked out of the apartment. The tears that you were holding back finally released themselves, your shoulders shook as you cried for your love that just ended. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. You know what they say, “if you love something, set it free, if its meant to be it will come back.” Please god, let Saeran come back to me.

~

He knew he fucked up. Saeyoung knew he fucked up. Hell even Elizabeth knew he fucked up. He sent her away, the love of his life. All because he felt himself relapse for a tiny bit. When they had gone to the park, he felt so much love for her it scared him, he watched families pass them by and longed for that. He looked forward to the day that he and MC could start a family of their own.

She must have caught him staring because she asked him about kids and he shot the idea down immediately. He didn’t want to worry her or have her think that he was pressuring her into starting a family. He wanted to first get better, before even thinking about that.

He had so many issues to work out, he did not even know if he was qualified to be a father but he wanted to try so that he could be happy with you. Well that was before he messed up and pushed you away. The emotions that he had for you were overflowing, and he was constricted. He was scared. You held the power to destroy him, break his heart and that terrified him. So what did he do? He broke his own heart, and unfortunately yours in the process.

He hoped that you moved on, and finally found someone that cherished you and gave you everything you deserved. Everything he couldn’t give you. That was a lie. He secretly hoped that after all these years, you still wanted him, that you loved him like he loved you.

He tried so hard to find you, but he couldn’t. All of the leads and trails you had left came up dry, it seemed like you didn’t want to be found. Saeran couldn’t blame anyone but himself and he shut down. He knew his brother was getting worried, especially when he surprised Saeran with tickets for them to visit Tokyo.

He agreed, much to Saeyoung’s surprise. He needed something, anything to get his mind off of the throbbing pain in his chest. He felt frustrated that he couldn’t find MC; he hated himself for ever letting her go, for hurting her so badly. He would endure it because surely MC put up with worse when she was with him.

They got on the plane when he noticed Saeyoung was acting weird. He cast him a sideway glare, “What’s wrong with you idiot brother? Why are you acting so odd-well more odd than usual at the very least” he asked suspiciously.

Saeyoung looked at him and winked, “Oh~ don’t mind me. I am just excited to go on a family vacation” “Yeah right” Saeran thought to himself, “this guy is up to something.”

He felt himself, drift of, thinking once again of his beloved MC, back to a time when things were good and happy. When she was his.

He felt someone shove him roughly, and he opened his eyes angrily, glaring at the perpetrator. “Come on brother, we’re here sleepy head” Saeyoung chirped cheerfully. He made his way down the steps stretching, taking in the flashing lights of the city. He followed Saeyoung silently, through the streets, maneuvering their way to their destination.

You both had finally reached your destination, an onsen. Saeran glared at his brother angrily, “What the hell stupid brother? We past like 8 onsens that were much nicer than this dump, are you telling me that we travelled all this way for this place?”

Saeyoung looked at his brother lovingly, and hugged him. Saeran was taken aback and fought the urge to shove him away, “Just trust me brother, go to that house over there across the street, just knock on the door and I don’t know ask to borrow some sugar or something” he replied glibly, as he grabbed all the luggage and hauled them inside the beat up hotel.

Begrudgingly, Saeran did as he was told, he knocked on the door and waited for a response. He didn’t hear anything so he knocked once more becoming impatient, hating that he was the butt of his brother’s joke.

He was about to turn and leave when he heard the door slowly creak open. He looked down two see two little girls, look up at him. They were about three or four years old with shocks of red hair mopping the tops of their heads. He thought they were absolutely precious, which was surprising because he usual shied away from kids.

“Can I help you with something Mister? Our mommy said she would be right over” the girls asked simultaneously. He smirked, as he knelt down, looking at them affectionately. “You guys are twins right? I know this because me and my id- brother are twins too and when we were your age we said everything at the same time” he said with a soft grin.

“Woah really Mister? That’s so cool! Everyone here makes fun of us because we have red hair like our daddy. No one likes playing with us at the park so we always play together” the little girl said. He felt his heart clench. He knew exactly how sad it was to be ostracized and left out.

“Hey hey, don’t tell anyone I told you this, but only the coolest kids have red hair” he said winking to the girls, as the squealed. He pulled his beanie off and said, “See even I have red hair just like you guys!”

The girls were ecstatic, clapping their hands happily as they touched his hair. He felt a warm aura surround him, a happy aura on that he used to experience when he spent time with MC. He was distracted playing with the little girls on the steps of their house.

He didn’t even sense the presence standing behind him; he didn’t hear their footsteps approach. He only heard them whisper their name, “S-Saeran?” He froze, rubbing his ear because surely he must have misheard right?

He looked up at the lips that had just uttered his name. He knew those lips, he had heard so many sounds from those lips, felt them against his own. What where they doing here? He was so confused. Surely this was a dream right? There’s no way MC would be standing in front of him.

The children notice her behind him and their eyes lit up. “Mommy!” they squealed as they clung onto MC, yammering about the nice man that was playing with them. She smiled at them affectionately before looking back to stare at Saeran. Wait mommy? If they called her mommy then that would mean that I-. There is no way, absolutely not. This is not happening.

Saeran ears were filled with the sound of his blood rushing rapidly. There were so many things going through his mind right now. MC had his child, and took care of it herself? Not one but two kids, all by herself.

His face paled, and his hands began to shake. He looked at her, tears filling his eyes. He didn’t know what to do.

Saeran wai-” he heard MC call after him. He didn’t know what to do, what to think, what do say. So he did the only thing he could do. He ran.

~to be continued~


WHOOOO. HOLY SHIT THIS TOOK ME NINE HOURS TO WRITE TF. AND I DID IT IN ONE SITTING KILL ME So I just want to thank you lovely amazing people for going thru and reading this. Seriously, props because this was long af. If you read all of the fics teh DAYUM GOOD JOB SON. Let me know what you guys think about the little ficlets :D As always, thanks for reading this <3 Also I apologize, but the longer I wrote it the lazier I became, as you can tell some of the fic kinda suck in comparison to the other hehehe pls don’t kill me

No reblogs///// because I’m not starting this fight with anyone but it is so wild to me that so many people are very willing to acknowledge there is a current massive wave of detransitioning women, there have been these waves before, and we will probably have another one, or at least waves of reidentifying/reidentified women like myself, like huge numbers, to where you can’t be involved in any lgbt scene and not know a gnc cis woman who at some point identified as trans or nb or both, etc, but NOBODY is interested in an honest discussion of what forced so many women into disidentification in the first place. Like even if you thought all these women were just stupid and “got it wrong” for themselves, you’d think you would at least honestly acknowledge that this happening in scenes all over the country means soooooomething must be connecting them. Couldn’t possibly be the way we think about gender nonconformity right? Couldn’t possibly be unattainable standards of femininity for people to not stop telling you to consider that maybe you’re not really a woman after all. Couldn’t possibly be politics in queer scenes explicitly stating that it’s both cooler and more politically radical to be something other than a woman. Couldn’t be discomfort with adult gnc women.

I find both the idea that women are biologically defined but somehow also have the same relationship to patriarchy (like I guarantee you Buck Angel and I do not have the same experiences of walking around the street, although I think we were on a good path in the 80s with some solidarity between butches and trans men because have a loooooooot of the same experiences and sometimes the exact same ones and just use different words to describe them, even though our bodies started in physically similar state) and the idea that it’s wrong to say your body has anything to do with your womanhood (like, my experience of womanhood has been shaped by being raised in a world intending to shape me into a woman, and my all the things that come from menstrual stigma, and when I disidentified nothing materially changed about my life, as is often the case for women who don’t pursue a lot of transition measures) to both be preposterous. They are both ways of evening out experiences that are the same in places we may not want to acknowledge, and of totalizing in ways that write other people out- like trans women are obviously not walking the streets making huge paychecks or safe from violence from men, but also for a lot of women there’s nothing we feel like a gender identity (I do not have one, I do not need one) and the idea that all women relate to womanhood that way is demonstrably false, and the idea that all should is deeply offensive.

It is no surprise that so many women who reidentify at least temporarily claim really easentialist politics that I object to myself, when their bodies are sometimes the only thing they can offer up in the face of gender identity politics as legitimizing their womanhood, and often bodies to which we have done permanent, physical changes in ways some of us are happy with and some of us find traumatizing. I think (I hope) that most eventually find their way at least a good bit from those politics, which attract them because they genuinely make much better sense of their experiences than many other popular alternatives (like those that pressured them to transition to begin with) but just don’t hold much political weight. Either womanhood is a material class or a biological category or a mixture of the two, but radfems who want to have their cake and eat it too there by saying those are the same thing are just kidding themselves- gay trans men and I do not have the same life experiences, especially if the guy in question is able to go stealth, and our paychecks will be different, and our odds of receiving male violence on the street will be different, even if we have a lot of the same feelings about our bodies.

But I saw a post the other day saying some nonsense like “Anyone who says there is pressure on gnc cis women to transition is a terf” and like, alright, pull the wool further over your eyes if you want, but more women are going to get hurt in the meantime and also, just literally ask those you know, and also I guess all these dykes having the saaaame experiences and experiencing the same pressures are just making it up and we are crazy and not to be listened to! I guarantee you they’ve also been straight up told they should call themselves nonbinary for liking ties and not liking pink and shit, I guarantee you they’ve told someone to use she/her and had that person use “they” repeatedly, like this shit will straight up make you feel like you are literally going insane. This is why I don’t touch those scenes anymore. But many women are still in them and okay, we can put the conversation off. But girls and women are going to get hurt in themeantime. I don’t even think there is anything wrong with new terms popping up to describe experiences, but the idea that there are natural lines to be drawn between them is very harmful and encourages us to pick a side. And when one side gets you respect from your friends, you pick that one.

Broken

Based on this amazing story from @neen-writes Go read it first if you haven’t yet! (’Broken’ can be read as a complementary fic and follow-up story?)

Word count: 1.6k

Angst ahead!

Thanks to @bluuesparrow for beta-ing :)


Seeing him like that, beaten to the ground with no strength left to stand back up, had Levy moving instinctively to stand protectively between Gajeel and the rogue mages.

“LEVY!” She heard him yelling, probably cursing under his breath for her recklessness. She was at her limit too, but the fire in her soul commanding her to protect him helped her deal with the exhaustion and pain that wracked her body.

Without noticing it, Levy’s hands were moving, drawing the spell ‘Mirror’ and pouring all the magic she had left into it. This was it; this was their last chance to make it out alive. If she screwed up now, not just her, but Gajeel too will-

No. Get it together, Levy. I’ll do it right.

Her magic flowed into her spell which grew into a massive script in front of her. With the magic blast coming towards them and with no more options available, Levy braced herself for the impact.

This will have to do it.

“Damnit Lev, get-” She didn’t hear the last part of his sentence as it was drowned out by the loud sound of magic clashing against her barrier. The attack was stronger than she expected and she had to dig the balls of her feet in the ground when she was pushed back from the impact. Her body tensed up with the effort of keeping the barrier up. Her lungs burned for the much needed air while her consciousness threatened to leave her at any given moment.

I can’t give up! I want- no, I will protect Gajeel!

She screamed when she willed the last traces of her magic to be poured into her barrier. She knew it was risky as hell to use that much magic, but if she was to fall, she would make sure she’d at least take down most of the enemies with her.

Thank the heavens above, her spell worked wonderfully just as she expected. The attack flew back towards the rogue mages, blasting them away and knocking most of them out cold. Relief flooded through her as she tried to recover her breath with painful effort.

Her arms fell limp to her sides as Levy was unable to will her trembling body to listen to her anymore. She knew the risks of her plan but went through with it anyways.

At least…

She managed to turn her head slowly to look at Gajeel on the ground staring at her in awe and concern. The corners of her mouth moved upwards in a weak smile when her hazel eyes met his red irises.

He’s… okay…

The distinctive metallic taste of blood in her mouth reminded her of the unavoidable predicament she had dragged herself into. She felt light-headed in a moment and her eyelids grew heavy as she couldn’t focus her eyes on Gajeel anymore.

I’m sorry, Gajeel.

Levy’s eyes rolled back into her head as she fell unconscious to the ground like a broken doll.

“LEVY!!”


When Levy opened her eyes, the only thing she could feel was exhaustion. Even when it seemed like she had slept for ages, her body felt like lead and her eyelids were so heavy that it was an impressive feat that she had her eyes open. Heavy breaths escaped her lips and fogged the mask that covered her mouth and nose helping her breathe.

“Levy…” Her tired eyes looked to her right and there she found Pantherlily in his large form looking down at her with concern in his eyes. When she met his gaze, a relieved smile graced the Exceed’s features as the corner of his eyes crinkled in happiness.

“How are you feeling?” He brushed her hair from her sweaty forehead with a gentle paw. She tried to utter a ‘Fine’ but instead a groan escaped her lips.

“Don’t push yourself. You still need rest.” Levy blinked slowly in understanding and smiled tiredly at her friend.

“I’ll let the other-”

“Lily,” Gajeel growled, interrupting his friend before he could finish his statement. He stood at the end of the bed with arms crossed over his chest and narrow eyes directed at Levy. His body language screamed tension and anger.

“Get out,” he commanded in his gruff voice.

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