because it can never be posted enough


Ok so I made this ages ago and I never posted it because it was bad but I’m posting it now because it bothers me to see this crappy video in my computer without getting posted. Also I dared to post crappy Weeabootale “animations” so it can’t be worse lol (r-right????)

also the animations aren’t fast enough since my phone app couldn’t make it faster so here are better gifs:

voilà voilà.

oh yeah, here’s the original video btw.

No I didn’t die 23456765433456654 times against him why do you lie.

well it doesn’t matter since now I became a real pro against him hon hon hon

Edit: wow 100+ notes?? Thank you so much!! Even if it’s an old thing, I’m glad you like it!! (Because it was still long to make…xD)

The trauma side of tumblr really seems to focus on survivors of csa, and that’s completely understandable, but I don’t see enough posts about kids who had to deal with serious neglect/emotional abuse. It can be devastating as well

shoutout to kids who had to grow up too fast because their parents never allowed them to be a kid

shoutout to kids who had to fend for themselves every day, or even little siblings

shoutout to kids who felt like the parent

shoutout to kids who cling hard to people because they never got the proper love and care that a parent should provide

shoutout to kids who have health issues because they were never taken care of, and it’s hard to recover from

shoutout to kids who felt abandoned and empty and like they had no childhood because their family wasn’t there 

You’re all valid and I’m so sorry for what we’ve had to go through. It’s tough. And I hope we can all heal from it 


reblog to petition for ross butler (zach dempsey—13 reasons why/reggie mantle—riverdale) to be casted as captain li shang in disney’s live action remake of mulan —–———————————————————— UPDATE: PLEASE READ BEFORE MAKING ANY STATEMENTS i originally made this post to share my opinion that i thought that ross butler would be able to play the part of shang. i did not know that mulan was going to ditch the character (which actually makes me really sad wtf he was one of my favorite characters and honestly petition for mulan to have singing beauty and the beast was great and reflections and the i’ll make a man out of you song are iconic) and that’s unfortunate, but that means he can’t even play the part anyway, because it doesn’t exist. but just the concept of butler playing shang has really gotten to some people. look. i know he’s not chinese. but actors are actors, and their job is literally to portray people, 99% of the time the characters they portray are of different races. i didn’t say butler would be perfect for the part because he looks chinese. that would be racist, and i would understand all the hate on this post. but this post never said anything of that matter. your opinion that an actor who is chinese should play the role of a chinese character is valid. but so is my opinion that butler would be able to splendidly fulfill the role as can be judged from his performances in all of these shows and so on. just. can we NOT make this into an issue and just have fun entertaining the idea? i literally don’t mean to offend anyone, it’s just weird to see all these people hating on my innocent idea. i’m not saying that because he’s asian butler is “close enough” and will “settle for the role” just because he’s popular or attractive or whatever. as a person of fellow asian decent, I KNOW NOT ALL ASIANS ARE THE SAME. and yes, I AM ANNOYED WHEN PEOPLE CONSIDER US ALL THE SAME. but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post my friends. just. yeah. there. —–————————————————————

Because some asked why I needed Truthwitch to break out...

Some people have asked me what I meant by a statement in my postmortem – about WHY I needed Truthwitch to break out (because if it didn’t, my career was over). I’m not sure how in-depth I’ve been in my newsletter, so here’s an answer for you:

Basically, my first series tanked. I mean…tanked. We’re talking, Truthwitch sold more copies in its first two weeks than the entire SS&D series COMBINED.

Bad sales hurt an author – you’re way better off as an untested debut than an author with shitty sales. So I was at a crossroads in my career, where the plan was to change my name. That way, I could be a “debut” again. (Sadly, this happens a LOT in the industry. Which is why please do not pirate our books!)

But then Tor decided to take a chance on me. Because they’re a small (and amazing) house, they have more room to take on projects that they’re passionate about (instead of just commercially successful). HOWEVER, if Truthwitch didn’t sell well…. Then yeah. That was it. “Susan Dennard” would be dead, and I’d have to reinvent/start over my career.

There’s no shame in that. I was totally willing to reinvent! The problem was that I had this great audience for my writing advice – thousands upon thousands of people who were coming back for my blog and newsletter. Yet none of them were buying my books. Which is fine – I don’t give free writing help to sell copies. I do it because I love doing it.

BUT…if I reinvented myself, I would lose what little crossover I had between writing-advice-fans and book-readers – not to mention the handful of amazing fans who did like the SS&D trilogy (I will never ever forget my wonderful Misfits!).

So…I needed + desperately wanted Truthwitch to sell well. I wanted Tor to be happy. I wanted to keep my name. That led to me going “all in” on self-promo.

Full disclosure: I allocated $15,000 of my advance to promote Truthwitch. (Which, in case you’re wondering, was most of the advance.) I ended up going over that amount…by a lot. Costs ranged from travel to important events (this was really where the bulk got eaten up!) to running/maintaining my street team (swag, postage, hiring an assistant to help me keep it going) to learning how to + making my own book trailer.***

And like…I honestly don’t even know what kind of TIME I spent promoting. It was a lot more than I thought it would be. Literally most of 2015.

But…it paid off, right? At least in terms of “success.” I’m a New York Times Bestseller now!!

That said, I haven’t earned back the money I spent yet (“bestseller” doesn’t automatically mean “rich”), and I will never get back the time I spent. Plus, the nightmare that was 2016 as I tried to rush-create Windwitch

It begs the question: were the costs worth the rewards? I don’t know. I think so since, hopefully, the rewards will continue to pay forward for a long time – and my career is definitely growing!

Best of all, though, I CAN KEEP MY NAME. Susan Dennard. C’est moi pour toujours. ❤️


I want to add two more things – because this post has opened up a lot of conversations I wasn’t expecting to have (but welcome!!).

First: I cannot emphasize enough just how important LUCK is in this equation. On top of the time, money, publisher-partnership, and salty desperation that I poured into Truthwitch, I ALSO GOT LUCKY. I had the Right Book at the Right Moment with the Right Cover in the Right Genre coming out in the Right Month.

A publisher can pour all the money in the world into a book, but nothing will make readers buy it. There is no predicting trends.

So a lot of the success of Truthwitch (which is still pretty small, relatively speaking. I’m not a Big Author by any means!!) boils down to that intangible, finicky sprite known as Lady Luck.

Second: This is just ROUND ONE of “reinvention.” I have no illusions or expectations that my success will remain. The Witchlands series has already exceeded my wildest hopes, but no author stays “on top” forever. It’s a constant up and down, and frankly, we’re all just really lucky to even be able to share our words in the first place.

Sure, I’d love to be successful forever, but it’s not my primary dream – and definitely not my expectation. Realism is key to longevity in this industry, and more than that: gratitude.

So on that note: thanks for reading, thanks for sharing, and thanks for being the reason I keep writing.

***Note: I need to also mention that, once it was clear my own self-promotion was starting to pick up momentum, Tor really stepped in and helped me. This was not a solo journey, and it NEVER is. I had/have an amazing team, and we’ve forged a real partnership while getting the Witchlands into readers’ hands.

An Apology


In early March, a former friend, Klaus, who worked with me on videos for my channel, put a ‘callout post’ on Tumblr about me. The post contains logs of a conversation we had after he came out to me that another friend had made him feel unsafe in skype chats in late 2011.

I handled this very poorly. I encourage you to read the logs Klaus has posted. [EDIT: You can find the post here. I originally did not link to it, because I was worried people would dogpile him, but on reflection if I’m saying you should read them it’s a mistake not to make them available, and I do not want to hide what I wrote.]

I believe that there is a proper way to react when a person approaches you with a story like the one he came to me with. It is always important to be kind to people who trust you when they tell you they feel hurt. When this happened, I failed to do this. Because I knew the person he was talking about, and I had been there at the time for many of the conversations Klaus had been referring to, I immediately went about investigating whether or not the claim was true. My first real response to Klaus opening up to me about his fears was to tell him that I doubted him, and to question if he was sure he was remembering things properly.

This behaviour was wrong. I had the opportunity to respond with care and understanding and instead my first instinct was to try to ‘check the facts’. This is not a kind instinct, and it is not a good way of treating anyone, especially a friend.

I write from a position of privilege. I try my best to be a good person and see things from a worthwhile perspective, but when it comes down to it I am a straight white man living in a very secluded part of the UK where most people aren’t affected by the worst of the problems I often talk about. I try to criticise the exact perspective this can engender, but when this happened I didn’t even notice I was acting it out myself. I failed to be compassionate to a friend who was confiding in me. Even if everything Klaus had said had been untrue, it was still nothing short of cruel to respond the way I did.

I want to be a good ally and stand up for people who have been hurt, and I very clearly still have a lot to learn from others. I wish I hadn’t needed to learn this lesson at all in the first place. I know I have disappointed some people. I recently reached out to my audience, asking people who have problems with aspects of my work to get in touch and tell me what they feel I should do differently, and I want to reaffirm that I read all of the messages that are sent to me, and take them seriously. I lost a very good friend, someone who was and still is important to me, because I failed to live up to the principles I believe in, and I do not want that to hurt anyone like that again.

A couple of other members of the community have shared the callout post and their disappointment with what I wrote. I am heartened by this behaviour –it’s good that people in our little corner of the internet are willing to criticise people’s actions, especially when they otherwise agree with them or like their work or share their goals, and especially when that person is me. This is exactly the sort of community I want to be a part of, and I hope I can do right by it in my work.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and how I dealt with Klaus’ feelings is a big one. I was a bad friend to someone who deserved to be treated better, and can never undo that – but I can, and will, do better in the future.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I can never apologise enough to Klaus. I don’t expect him to forgive me. His post relates that he shared this story because he wants me to do better in the future, and to grow as a person, and at the very least I hope it’s clear that I want to live up to his, and your, expectations for me.

Remember that you don’t have to have anything to offer to be wanted, you’ll find people that just appreciate your presence in their lives because they like you.

These new Steven Universe episodes have taken me back to something regarding Peridot...

Originally posted by bumblef-ck

Originally posted by doafhat

Remember this?

I always thought it was safe to assume that Peridot had suffered some sort of physical abuse on Homeworld - presumably from her senior - and that’s why she’s so visibly afraid of weapons, and seems to assume that people with weapons are going to hurt her in some way.

I refrained from posting about this a long time ago because I felt there wasn’t quite enough evidence to back it up.  I mean, how do we know that the superiors on Homeworld can be physically aggressive to their underlings, when we’ve never even seen them?  Could Peridot just be nervous by nature?


Thanks to Holly Blue Agate here, I think we might now have the answer.

I believe that the disdain Holly shows to the “lower” Gems here - and the physical and verbal abuse she subjects them to - is commonplace on Homeworld.  They’re visibly terrified of her, and it’s very easy to see why.

Homeworld very much operates on a caste system, as we know; and those who aren’t right at the top appear to be treated quite badly at times.  This is also somewhat exhibited by Peridot herself in Back To The Barn, when she’s extremely rude to Pearl and constantly talks down to her because she’s “just a Pearl”.

As well as Peridot’s blatant fear and flinching away from weaponry, there’s something else to consider - namely, this exchange in Message Received:

Yellow Diamond: “I will inform your manager of your incompetence”

Look at Peridot’s face here.  She’s really, really not happy that her manager  will be hearing of her failure - the thought of it seems to actually be terrifying her.  And if her manager is anything like Holly, then who can really blame her?

So… what sort of Gem could Peridot’s feared manager be, exactly?

Another Agate is of course a possibility, especially given how many different variations of Agate there are, but I actually have a different idea - Emerald.  

Real-life peridot is often referred to as “the poor man’s emerald”, so to me it makes perfect sense for the Peridots’ manager/superior to be an actual Emerald.

art theft in the phandom

This morning I woke up to several panicked messages from friends letting me know that somebody had tweeted a drawing of mine, claimed that it was their own, and that Phil had ‘liked’ this stolen artwork on twitter:

This person not only had the gall to upload it and suggest that they’d made it, but they also criticised the way I had drawn his face and then accepted compliments from other people, as seen in this screenshot:

This drawing means a lot to me. Ready Player One has been my favourite novel for four years now, and I was thrilled when Phil first mentioned it in one of his liveshows. It’s not a particularly well-known book, and it made me so happy to hear that Phil also enjoyed it.

I spent nine hours on that drawing. Nine hours hunched over that damn graphics tablet with a cramping hand and shoulders. I constantly redrew the pose even though I suck at anatomy because I wanted it to be perfect. I worked right into the early hours of the morning because I didn’t want to stop. I was so excited. I knew that Phil would enjoy this drawing.

The only other time I’ve been noticed by Dan or Phil was in 2015, when I tweeted another artwork at Phil. He ‘liked’ it and I almost had a heart attack.  It was an incredible feeling and I wanted to feel that again.
Everybody here knows how difficult it is to be noticed by Dan and Phil. Most people never get it. I was certain that this artwork would be recognised, and I was correct. It just wasn’t in the way that I wanted it to be.

The art thief deleted the tweet after being called out (they haven’t apologised or answered any of my messages yet), and I’ve posted my drawing again in an attempt to have it rightfully credited to me. Despite my best efforts, I doubt that Phil will see it again, or, if he does, I don’t know whether he’ll act. The pride and accomplishment that I felt after completing this drawing has been marred by this shitty, talentless person with low self-esteem and weak ethics. And what happened to me isn’t an isolated incident.

Take, for example, @phantheraglama and @maddox-rider’s constant struggle with people who repost their art. Or when @arctoids and @incaseyouart discovered that their work was traced and used in Dan’s The Urge video. I was there when @pinofs found themselves in a situation similar to mine, when Dan liked a tweet from someone who traced their drawing. 

It’s not limited to ‘art’ artists either. Some of my friends, @phansdick, @insanityplaysfics and @crescendohowell have their incredible phanfiction reposted constantly. @moaninghowell, @themostfuniveverhad and @moonlitdan’s edits have been stolen and posted, too. And this isn’t everyone. These are only the people I’m aware of, and the ones who are lucky enough to have had their plight seen by others. There are many, many other artists who don’t have enough followers to be noticed, or who never get the recognition they deserve because the thief has more followers than they do, and anything they say is overshadowed by that.

After scouring through copyright and code of conduct laws for various social media, I’ve learnt that unfortunately there is nothing you can really do except report the problem and hope that staff are able to delete the offending post. Since most phan artists don’t actually legally buy a copyright, we are completely reliant on the decency of others to prevent art theft from occurring. Most of the phandom is great and works to support artists, but unfortunately, the bad eclipses the good. The ‘good’ majority is irrelevant when there are ‘bad’ people out there, doing bad things.

So how do you stop this from happening? You can’t. There are, however, ways to make it harder for people to actually steal your art, a lesson I wish I had taken to heart before this happened.

1. Put your watermark in a noticeable place and make it your username, not your actual name. Write it somewhere that has a distinctive pattern or colours that are hard to replicate so that nobody can brush over it easily.

2. Specify in your caption what you’d like done with your art. Every artist is different – some are okay with people reposting their art with credit, others aren’t. Make sure you tell people what you want, as many people repost things with the good intention of getting it more recognition. 

3. If all else (including nicely messaging them) fails, report the shit out of the person.

And to anyone who has ever stolen art, know this: Your way of getting recognised by Dan and Phil is crap. Any reblog, like, note or compliment that you get is OURS. None of that goodness is directed to you. You have done nothing but shit on the hard work and achievements of other people. You’re the scum of the phandom.

I think that Vic, from @incaseyouart, phrased it really well: It takes many years to develop a fine skill such as drawing, because to learn is to develop your style by referencing other artists and material. Tracing and reposting someone’s image, and other forms of art theft, are cheap ways of reproducing art. It is plagiarism of great effort. Not only does it steal from the original artist’s feelings of accomplishment and pride over their creation, it also discourages proper skill development. Do not repost, create. Do not steal, learn.

I hope that we can start up a discussion about art theft again. I really don’t want anyone else to go through this stressful and disheartening experience.

Update: The person has apologised and seems to regret what they’ve done. Phil also liked my post on Twitter again! Thanks to everyone who helped, and Phil for seeing the issue and fixing it :) Even though this was a win for me, unfortunately art theft is still a huge issue. Let’s not forget that.

Bonus OT3 Drabble: Slinky


This. This is entirely the fault of @blackkatmagic and @nellynee, and this ask-post over on blackkat’s blog. Because I just cannot resist the challenge of ‘why break up one ship for another when you can have both as a healthy triad?’ So I wrote it, even though I never actually got far enough to meet two-thirds of this ship in canon, and most of the characterisation is based on blackkat’s fics (although probably not half so good as hers).

Because really, who could resist this; “Spunky young power couple seduces village creepy shut in. Everyone is confused.

OT3 for this prompt: Minato/Orochimaru/Kushina from Naruto.

“If I have to sit and listen to you gabbing on about weird obscure jutsu, then I’m going to do it over ramen, you know!” Teuchi smiled at the sound of his best customer approaching the restaurant, presumably with her boyfriend in tow. Sure enough, when Kushina pushed the curtain aside, she was preceded into the restaurant by a sheepish looking Minato. Kushina followed, pulling another man in after them by the wrist.

The redheaded jounin manhandled Konoha’s own snake sannin into the seat next to Minato, then plonked herself down in the seat on Orochimaru’s other side. “You didn’t have to sit and listen.” The man snapped at Kushina, clearly very annoyed with her. “We are quite capable of holding a conversation without you.”

Kushina scoffed at him, flapping a hand. “Please. Minato wouldn’t know what to do with you if I left the two of you alone for more than five minutes, you know.” Orochimaru failed to come up with a retort, looking baffled and irritated in equal measure.

Minato, on the other hand, turned very red and started spluttering. “That’s not- You can’t just- What are you- Kushina!” The last word came out as a whine, and Minato dropped his head against the counter.

“Don’t be such a ditz, pretty boy.” Kushina chided, and then turned to Teuchi before Minato could respond. “The usual, please, Teuchi-san! Plus whatever this awkward turtle wants.” She nudged Orochimaru with her elbow to indicate who she meant. It was a good thing she had, because ‘awkward turtle’ was not a descriptor Teuchi would ever have applied to him on his own. He started cooking up Kushina and Minato’s usual, even as he raised an eyebrow at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru ignored him in favour of glaring at Kushina. “He’ll have the shoyu tamago ramen with extra eggs.” Minato put in, recovering from embarrassment as fast as he ever did. It was a good thing he could do that, Teuchi thought, since he was dating someone like Kushina, who got a kick out of embarrassing people.

Orochimaru switched his glare to Minato. “I don’t recall asking you to order for me.”

“Did I get it wrong?” Minato asked, caught somewhere between innocent and smug. Obviously he hadn’t, because Orochimaru looked twice as likely to murder him, but conspicuously didn’t say a word. Minato beamed like the sunrise. “So, you were explaining the connection between space-time seals and blood jutsu?” He prompted brightly. Orochimaru sighed heavily, but answered with a long explanation that went entirely over Teuchi’s head. It clearly didn’t go over Minato’s head, because he was staring in rapt attention as Orochimaru talked, in a way that made Teuchi feel oddly like he was intruding on something private.

He served up their ramen, and was not surprised when Minato and Orochimaru mostly ignored theirs in favour of their discussion. He was surprised when it took Kushina several seconds to lift her cheek off her fist and stop staring at them long enough to start scarfing down her usual three bowls of ramen. She caught his look the first time she came up for air, and shrugged unrepentantly. “What? They’re total dorks, you know, but they’re my dorks now.

Orochimaru choked on his first bite of ramen. “Excuse me?” He demanded.

“Well, you are, aren’t you?” Kushina asked, smirking. “We’re a package deal, slinky; buy one get one free. If you want to get some this evening, instead of just staring at Minato like he’s a prime steak and you’re starving, you’re going to have to learn to dance with both of us, you know.” She paused, her smirk slowly unfurling into a predatory grin with far too many teeth. “Last chance to run screaming.”

The stunned look on Orochimaru’s face turned, once again, to murderous annoyance. “I think I should be saying that to you.” He hissed, leaning forward into her personal space to loom over her. Teuchi was a bit worried, although on whose behalf he wasn’t quite sure.

Kushina laughed, and shocked just about everybody when she closed the distance between them and kissed him. Minato whimpered quietly, staring at them with his mouth hanging open, while Teuchi was just trying to figure out when the world had gone insane. Kushina drew back looking infinitely smug. “Bring it on.”

Can we maybe protect the tall girls, the ones who feel like they’re not feminine enough because of their height?

The ones who are painfully aware that they can change their weight, their face, their clothes, but can never change their height.

The ones who are represented in the media as either models or jokes, never just people with feelings.

The ones who get two different types of messages on dating sites, “were you born female?” and “I want you to crush me”, rarely just a simple “hello”.

The ones who feel like everyone else gets represented in ‘different types of women’ posts, but they’re always left out.

We might look imposing and like we can handle ourselves, but some of us just feel like lost kittens who need a little back up sometimes. Because like I said, we’re people too, with and sometimes we feel like people forget that.

America: Can’t believe I’m actually going to be the mature one but–can you two maybe stop bickering for a bit so we can work….? 

England: We don’t bicker enough that you need to say anything!

France: What are you talking about we bicker all the time!! 

England: You’re only saying that because you start all the arguments–

France: Me?!

America: Guys…

France: Who started the 100 years war?! Who’s fault was that?

England: Yours!!

France: And Brexit?!


Holtzmann always dealt with her mental health issues alone until the ghostbusters found their way into her heart and completely dismantled every wall she thought she had. Which she thought was a bad thing- until she realized it wasn’t at all.

Patty always holds her when she’s craving touch to feel grounded, when she’s dissociating from a flashback of her rough childhood. The first time she does it, Holtzmann flinches but eases into her arms eventually, her quick breathing slowing down enough after long moments. Long enough for her to get the courage to whisper “I like it that you’re tall.” And Patty pecks her on the forehead and laughs.

Erin and her stay up late, into the early hours of the morning talking about their past, “comparing notes” as Erin called it once. In the warm months they take it up onto the roof and play with each others fingers, hands intertwined as they sometimes cry, or sometimes get angry for themselves, for each other. Sometimes they make light of it all too. Black humor. But always they talk. They talk and inch closer to each other until the next step always feels like kissing but it never is. They’re both nervous. Unsure. But they’re both safe. And happy. Happy.

Abby makes Holtz tea. Abby makes Holtz eat by placing Pringles in her desk drawer and fruit snacks in her tool box. She buys her favorite sandwich when she goes out to grab lunch. Abby leaves her notes sometimes that used to embarrass her. Little neon sticky notes: “sleep before 3am Holtzy”, “you can do this!”, “don’t forget dinner tonight. Check the fridge.” “We missed you at the bar tonight.” Or sometimes she just hides little stickies of hearts or geometric shapes or flowers (or on one memorable occasion, stick figure doodles with giant dicks…) everywhere, so that it takes Holtzmann forever to find them. Gives her something to do when she’s restless and deep into her own head.

And Holtzmann loves them. She loves all of them so much. And she tries her best to give back but she’s so overwhelmed by the feeling of being loved, respected, truly appreciated so much that it never feels like enough. But she saves all of Abby’s notes and makes her a clever, heartfelt collage of all the best post it drawings and gives it to Abby for her birthday anyway. With a small store bought card. Blank inside except for the generic happy birthday text in arial font and her own cramped messy scrawl, “love you. Thank you.”

She puts fresh daisies on Erin’s desk every Monday. Because she knows they’re Erin’s favorite and the smell of flowers can help keep her calm. Less claustrophobic when she’s stuck at her desk with a rough equation all day. They never talk about it. They don’t talk about how Holtz has Erin’s coffee and bagel shop order completely memorized either. And Holtzmann can always tell when Erin is having a rough day. So she dances a little more, flirts a little harder. Anything to see Erin smile.

Finally Holtz touches Patty whenever she gets the chance. Wants to give some tactile appreciation right back, because she knows it’s the language Patty’s heart speaks in. So there’s always little squeezes in celebration after a good bust. Playful slaps on the back when Patty makes a good joke. Little silly pokes to the forehead or the shoulder to get her attention. Leaning into her to read over her shoulder when they’re all doing research. She knows Patty loves to feel grounded and loved and close to their little family as much as she does. But Abby and Erin aren’t as touchy feely (even though..does Erin look jealous at times? She doesn’t know) so she tries to make up for it ten fold.

Holtzmann will do this all for them until the day she dies. They are her first family after all.

Just read the lyrics for Jin’s Awake and I’m in tears yet again. His song talks of how he feels like he’ll never be as good as the rest of bts, how he’ll never “touch the sky” but he’s stubborn and will try even if it’s impossible. It’s so sad to think that our beautiful jin feels that way, because he’s SO important and SO beautiful and talented, he can easily touch the sky, in fact he can do so much more. I never EVER want him to think he’s not good enough. He can touch the sky, literally anything is possible for someone like him I wish he could understand that.

Originally posted by sotaehyung

But i will never forgive myself

Originally posted by sssssssim

*GIF not mine*


Request: Anon

I cant get enough of your Ivar imagines ❤ can I request one where Ivar wakes up in the middle of the night because of the nightmare and his wife comforts him? You rock girl 😙 

I bet y’all didn’t see me posting another one this fast 😏

Warnings: except that it’s really short, none

Wordcount: 1.316

The soft whimpers and pleads falling from his parted lips awoke me from my sleep. As his movements and sound only grew, my worry did as well. Placing a hand on his firm naked chest, the bottom half concealed with fur, i tried to pull him out of his dreams. 

“Ivar.” Soft whispers spreading across the big, dim tent we two shared.

His skin glistened whit sweat as his muscles flexed underneath it, and his breathing sounded jagged - panicked almost. He didn’t respond to your calling, his facial expression only looking more distressed and angry. 

“Ivar, love, you need to wake up it’s not real.”

It was a rare thing that he dreamt, if he did, and usually it was never a bad one. All the stress these last days had to offer him had surely taken its toll. This new found man, a man they called Heahmund, had been a pain in the ass for our raids lately. He was stronger than we had imagined, more powerful than the other christian “warriors” we had met - and this was plaguing Ivar beyond belief. 

My desperate attempts to wake him where still failing, as the nightmare only seemed to worsen. I hated seeing him tormented like this. His legs had tormented him all his early life, but not since he was been able to walk - aided by leg braces. Now i see the same pained expression the boy i used to know had, and it was bothering me relentlessly. 


The sudden loud yelling was the only thing that worked, because he awoke with a jolt - his hand clutching around my throat without warning as he squeezed it shut. He was still under a trance from his dream, still not grasping reality. My fingers trying to pry off his strong ones, scratching at them desperately. 

He was blocking my channel for air and i could see the edges of my peripheral vision starting to blacken. 

“Ivar.” A faint whisper was all i could muster to press out, hoping it was enough to bring him back. 

The words had reached their recipient, because his eyes lost their hatred and shifted to confusion. His hand quickly retrieved as he realized what he had done, all the while i was filling my sore lunges with air again. 

“No, no, no what did i do.” I could hear his frightened mumbling, even though it was only meant for his ears. 

He was staring intensely down at his hands, eyes full of disgust, like they just had betrayed him - or pained someone he loved.. 

Still a little startled from the unpredicted response i got from him, i swiftly pulled myself together once again. He had never done a single thing to harm me before, never in his most utter outrage even, so to call this unexpected was an understatement. 

I laid a careful hand upon the shoulder he had turned to me, concerned i would startle him even more. The body flinched as it came in contact with my fingertips. 

“Don’t!” He warned me, and i yanked my slim hand back to my chest. 

He rarely raised his voice at me too. 

“It’s fine, im okay.” I told him with whispers. 

“No it’s not okay y/n, what sort of man hurts the woman he loves? I could have killed you!” 

He didn’t look at me as he spoke those words, his eyes remained on the same place as they had for the last few minutes. Shallow sniffles reached my ears, and i understood why he wasn’t looking at me. 

Ivar wasn’t a man of affection, and he will probably never be. I was lucky to get a kiss every now and then, or even more rare a “i love you”. So when i first got them, i knew they held a deep meaning for him. Before we truly got together, i remember one of the first things he told me. 

“Love makes you weak, but showing emotion makes you weaker.”

I knew i had managed to changed his first statement, but the second one he still believed. There is only one unique time i have actually seen him fell a tear, and it was at his brothers funeral - the one he himself had sent to the afterlife. 

I refused to see him tormented no longer, so i reached out to him again, ignoring his attempt to turn me away. 

My hand took a hold on his cheek, giving it a push so he would look at me, but he only turned his head forcefully the opposite way. The stubbornness inside me denying this response from him, making me cup his cheeks with both hands and demand him to face me. 

I met a pair of lovable familiar baby blues, only they where covered in tears - making them shine more than the pale moon herself. The broken expression glued on his graceful face made my own eyes wet at the sight. 

“Oh, Ivar please do not cry.” 

I tenderly dried the drops that had escaped down his hot cheek with my thumb. 

“I don’t know whats worst, having to watch him kill you painfully and slow in front of me again, or the fact that my own hands almost did the job for him.”

I knew who he was talking about, Heahmund. 

He struggled spelling those words as the lump in his throat made it hard for him. Eyes lingered on my throat as his hand reached out to trace the lightly bruised surface formed by it. 

“Im sorry.” A sore voice whispered as more tears formed. 

I pressed a loving kiss on his lips, empty of other ideas to console him. He returned it faintly, but it was there. 

“I forgive you. I forgive you a thousand times and more.”

His tense body eased hearing what i told. My forehead rested on his - my skin greedy after the warm contact. 

“But i will never forgive myself.” 

Of course he didn’t. He had made a promise to me our first night; 

“Even if the gods demanded me to harm a strand of hair on your head, i would defy them.”

He would never forgive himself for breaking that promise. 

“Im here, im breathing, and im alive. There’s no use crying over spilled milk, Ivar.” 

I forced him to look at me as i told him and watched how his eyes softened. My hands gently caressed both sides of his face, and he basked in the feeling of my comfort. Arms where carefully folded around my waits, like if he did it any faster or harsher i would break. I felt them pull me slowly into his embrace - closing the space between us. 

He took a big sniff, catching the scent of my hair as he rested his head in the crook of my neck - the hot breath tickling my skin. Not ever have i seen him so vulnerable, so fragile. The dream must really have been a horrible one to make him act like a frightened child in my arms. 

His arms where still strong around me as i gingerly started to lay back into bed, taking him with me. I let his exhausted head rest upon my chest as my fingers absentmindedly combed through his hair and scalp - gentle humming filling the tent. 

It seemed to be enough to put him back to dearly needed sleep, the steady exhaling fanning over my skin indicating so. My heavy eyelids where winning the battle as i tried to keep myself awake for his sake, but the sound of his breathings and the feeling of his strong arms protecting me was simply a too great a lullaby. 

I pressed one single kiss on his head, before i let sleep wash over me - joining him into a deep slumber for a second time. 

If I see one more “mika is insane and bad i miss when he was a cute child” post I’ll barf
Let mika be mentally ill! Just because he’s no longer “pure” enough to be ur idealized pretty boy doesn’t mean that you get to push his abuse and mental health issues aside and call him a bad person.
Don’t wish his abuse never happened just so you can have another cute anime boy you can strip of his personality then drool over

genji is a really good example of a badly integrated attempt at a protagonist.  He isn’t blank enough or relatable enough to be called an actual protagonist, and he isn’t the face character of the series.  He gets so many powers and so much face/screentime that he becomes the definition of an annoying gary stu character, because we are told about his complexities, but we never actually see them.  all we see are snippets of him in-action, or snippets of him post-development.

like, it’s great that he’s happy, but can he let other characters have their unfinished character arcs then?

I can’t believe I almost didn’t watch Beauty and the Beast bc of Tumblr. Because I’ve seen it today and there isn’t a single thing about it I didn’t love (except maybe for the cheesy pop version of Beauty and the Beast in the credits)

I’ve never seen so much (absolutely unjustified) pettiness surrounding a movie that hasn’t even come out yet??
Like ”The dress looks shit” “LeFou is no proper gay representation” “Luke Evans is not beefy enough to be Gaston” “lmao singing more like autotune” “Why didn’t they cast someone who can sing as Belle” I could go on

If I see this “look at how stupid the dress looks” post ONE MORE TIME I’m going to scream into my pillow for a very long time. Like, if you know a thing or two about sewing you can see it certainly isn’t cheap and wasn’t made by someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Yeah it’s not the infamous ball gown, but Emma Watson explicitly said that she wanted to be able to move freely in this dress and you can’t really do that in a ball gown and corset, can you.
Also, if you actually bother to not judge the dress by one still you’ll see that it was probably sewn to look absolutely stunning when it’s moving. Because it does. 
“But even cosplayers could have done it better” And I bet that the Disney costume designers could have made an equally pretty dress, but try to put one of these cosplayers on a horse. Or make them dance for what is probably hours until the producers have enough takes they’re satisfied with.

Tl;dr: Stop calling the dress ugly and cheap, because it is not. 

reblog if you post carry on/snowbaz!

i’ve resolved to attempt to follow every single carry on blog on tumblr because lord knows there can never be enough Scone Boy and Pointy Teeth on my dash. and if you’re a carry on blogger who is following me but we’re not mutuals, please come into my inbox screaming “DANTE! FOLLOW ME!” and i will click that follow button post-haste

Okay, so here’s the situation…

A video was posted online today of David Tennant signing stuff for people, and I can honestly say I have never seen a more perfect example of people not having enough respect for another human being. Read that again and look at the word respect, because that’s what I want to talk about here. 

Put yourself in David’s shoes - you’ve got to be somewhere or you’re going back home to your family, yet you still decide ‘you know what, there’s a few people outside, I’ll go and sign some stuff for them’. He’s taking time out of his day to be able to sign things for people - and yet behavior such as screaming his name, trying to grab his attention and shoving people out of the way seems to be the way people are thanking him for doing so? I mean, if you go and watch the video, there’s a point where he actually has to tell people to ‘calm down’ because the shouting is ridiculous. 

Now don’t get me wrong, you’re getting the chance to see/meet your idol, someone you look up to and you’re super excited - and I think in the midst of this some people loose their basic concept of respect. I know some of these people in the crowd are probably professional autograph hunters and so on, but still - that concept of respect is greatly tossed around here. 

When getting the chance to have something signed by someone, and I’m not just talking about David Tennant here anymore, I’m talking about celebrities in general - make sure you don’t loose your sense of respect. Don’t shout at them, don’t provoke them to come and sign something for you simply because ‘you’re shouting the loudest’ or ‘you can scream their name 100 times per minute’ and can shove people out the way. Stand quietly, be polite to others, wait your turn - respect the fact they are human beings.

And I’m not just going to use this video as one example. When I was lucky enough to go and see Richard II, I noticed just how many fans screamed at him to go to them when he came out to sign the booklets, people literally shoved other people out the way. I was lucky enough to not get seriously hurt, because at that point in time I was on crutches suffering from a snapped Achilles heel, and people still felt the need to push me out of the way to try and snap their way to the front of the line - and bare in mind I was staying out of the way to try and not get hurt. It’s a funny world, right?

So please, just remember one word when you’re in situations like this - respect.We’re lucky to have David Tennant as someone so lovely and compassionate to look up to. Respect him, and just as importantly, respect eachother. 


I dont usually make comic strips and im really bad at it. But at some point this depressing thoughts just consumed me. 

(this will be a long rant and post)**As much as I dont want it to get to me, it does. And its really hard to get away. Im no saint either, I can get hurt and I can get jealous. I have had so many thoughts when seeing other artist or cosplayers, eventhough I tried not to think badly sometimes It just comes. I have had so many thoughts where I see other artists and feel that my art is not good enough or sometimes think that why some people get recognized more than what I do? As much as I dont care about notes or likes to be honest I do sometimes, because it still gets to me that the more likes and notes u get, the better your art is. I put so many details, i took so many days but it didnt get as much appreciation as I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel that I tried my best and I put a lot of accuracy to my costumes, I make it as neat as possible, as straight as possible and as accurate shape as possible. But people just dont look at it and dont appreciate it. But again I cant expect people to look at these stuffs and expect them to like my stuffs. “Do what you like and if you put your heart enough people will for sure notice!” thats what people say, but in reality it doesnt work like that. I just cant help thinking that my stuffs are not good enough. Is it my personality sometimes? is it my art? do they not appeal? do people not like it? what do ppl think about it? I just cant get my head around it. This goes on and on, I cried and Ive gone through depression because of this. There are so many things I want to say but I dont think its necessary to put all in here.

However, As much as these things consumed me. Ill go back and see the people that supports me too. It might not be as much as other people have, but They mean a lot to me. All these messages I got from my store review, tumblr messages, comments and etc. I read them all. I never really thank enough for it. Its selfish of me to think about all these negativity, but sorry that i couldnt help it. But again, because of you guys, no matter how many times I go through these stages, I stands up again. Like I say I cant thank you enough for all your supports, they always made my day and it whats keep me going!.

So from the bottom of my heart I would like to THANK ALL OF YOU for supporting me up until now, It keeps me motivated and I will try to do better to improve!

Im posting this to remind me also to never forget the support ive received and hopefully I can lessen all these negative thoughts in the future.