because i'm too lazy to work on new one

( I must admit I’m very much toying with the idea of being active here again. I really miss writing Roy and interacting with everyone here. So I may be revamping him and giving him some much needed love. Because I really do miss it

The /r/LoveLive subreddit is finishing up its Aqours 2nd anniversary time capsule project, which made me rediscover the first one.

I guess the time capsule worked - I had completely forgotten that I wrote a message prior to the 1st Aqours anniversary, and was very amused by what I had put down as a new Aqours fan.

The interesting bits:

  • “[M]y first favorite was Mari, and now it’s You” - I can’t believe I forgot about this. Mari was my favorite for a brief period of time, because she was basically a NozoEli lovechild (my #2 and #3 µ’s gals). I was interested in You, but not very invested in her at first because I didn’t know too much about her other than her being a sporty gal. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation Shukashuu came along. :’)
  • “CYaRon, AZALEA, and Guilty Kiss are just a little too similar to Printemps, lily white, and BiBi IMO” - REEEE past me forgot the exclamation point in CYaRon!…anyways, I was so, so wrong about this, haha. I honestly could not imagine the seiyuu in different subunits now, because they feel so at home. CYaRon! (in my biased opinion) has some particularly good chemistry among its members, between tsukkomi-Anchan and boke-Furirin/Shuka.
  • Honestly, the fact that I talked so little about the seiyuu is hilarious. I think the most obvious giveaway for that is when I referred to my favorite singers as “either Hanamaru or Yoshiko”, because present-day me would’ve said “King or Aikyan” instead. Not that I talked too much about them in my 2nd time capsule post either, but I think in my first one, it was because I had yet to descend too deeply into seiyuu hell. RIP my wallet though, I’ve spent money on weeb stuff for the first time ever because of how hard I’ve fallen for Shukashuu.
  • “Fave subunit: Guilty Kiss” - LMAO WHY…actually, I know why, it’s probably because I hadn’t fallen in love with “Yozora wa Nandemo Shitteru no?” at that point. :^)
  • I can’t believe that “RubyMaru” was the first pairing I put down…I guess my RinPana bias was acting up. To be quite honest, right now I barely even ship them, because I treasure their friendship way too much. My 2nd anniversary post updated the pairing list with some more You pairings (and of course, ChikaYou was at the head of it, haha), and made sure to include the 3rd year OT3 for justice.
  • I’m pretty sure that it’s pointless to put down who my favorite seiyuu is at this point, because the day that Shukashuu is no longer my favorite will probably be the day that I stop being a part of the LLS fandom.

It’s been so long, it’s been so long. Maybe we’re fireproof~

BAND AU Part 3. During concerts, Haru would randomly hug Makoto from the back because, god YES, he can do this in public now that they’re out. He can actually tell the world that he loves this boy more than anything. No more hiding. Just wow. He’s just really happy. Next would be kissing Makoto in front of everyone but he’s still working on it. Baby steps. If you dunno the song “Fireproof” then what are you doing ಠ_ಠ 

Sooo I drew Stydia… 

Weird thing is that this was originally an Olicity drawing but I screwed up the face and it ended up looking more like Stiles than Oliver. (Honestly how does one even make a mistake like that?? wtf Kristen) 

But yeah. If their faces don’t look right it’s because I was working from memory. (I’m too damn lazy to look up references for their faces okay…)

5

YACHI APPRECIATION POST!! SHE IS SO PRECIOUS (°◡°♡).:。

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on the scene in LOT with Len talking to Sara about the future for 'me and you'? It still feels like such a weird and awkward scene for me. Especially with how cool this verison is meant to be.

Took me a while to respond to this because I wanted to actually give it the proper brain power that it’s due.

I actually enjoyed that scene, for a few reasons, not the least of which is because it was so supremely awkward. But the full effect of that line is really only understood in context of what led up to it. Len’s been opening up to Sara over the course of their entire journey up to that point, but only under the guise of helping her or as a deflection tactic.

Think of 1x05 where he tells her not to kill Martin – he’s exposing his own feelings, but he does so in such a way as to make it about her. He tells her not to kill because she doesn’t want to be a killer, without ever saying he doesn’t want her to kill Martin because he cares about his team, and because part of him hopes for redemption for himself. If Sara, the assassin, believes herself to be redeemable, maybe he can believe himself to be redeemable. That’s what you see between the lines.

But Leonard expresses his care without exposing himself. His care for Martin, and his care for Sara. The connection he feels to her, knowing what it’s like to be able to make hard choices without wanting to, knowing sometimes it’s harder to make the call not to kill (something we saw him do in The Flash 2x03, after all).

So Len was able to express without expressing, and get a lot of things across without leaving himself emotionally vulnerable. He’s much more charming when he doesn’t feel vulnerable, or when he doesn’t have to put his own feelings into words.

Then take the scene in the cargo hold in 1x10, where Sara is encouraging him to go talk to Mick, to talk about his feelings, and Leonard deflects by saying “about you?”

Originally posted by leonardsara

Which makes her pause for all of a second and before she narrows her eyes, because she sees through him, and knows that he’s really just attempting to deflect her. Which is not to say that he doesn’t have any genuine feelings about her, only that he wasn’t actually trying to start a conversation to talk about them in that particular moment. Still, the deflection was an opportunity to subtly express that yes, he’s been thinking about her, but he was able to do so at a time and in a way where it didn’t leave him feeling vulnerable (certainly not as vulnerable as talking about or to Mick would make him feel). And because he was bringing it up for disingenuous purposes, Sara was able to brush him off, but more than that, he was able to be charming and sly about it, able to protect himself and come off as smooth.

But then take 1x15, where he’s in a position that actually does make him feel vulnerable. Thinking about that scene, if Leonard was to be totally charming as he has been at times, he knows that not only would Sara see right through it, but it would come off as more disingenuous; he needs to be able to express something more real here. Because what he’s feeling is real, and he wants to acknowledge that, but that also leaves him feeling vulnerable. And if being sly and skirting around it or using it as a deflection (like in 1x10) didn’t work, he knows he’s gotta let her know that… this isn’t transient or surface for him, it’s not a tool he’s using to deflect or charm… it’s just him, and it means something that he’s feeling this.

And maybe if he felt totally confident, Leonard could have come off as charming and smooth there. But he didn’t feel confident. This isn’t a con where he can just say what he knows someone wants to hear. Leonard knew he’d have to express something real because she doesn’t put up with bullshit, but he’s not used to expressing his real emotions, not outside of life/death type situations, or not in a way that leaves him feeling exposed or gives others power over him. 

When he does express himself like that, he’s often using anger as a defense to help quell how vulnerable he feels. Or think about The Flash 2x09 where he tells Barry about Mardon and Jesse – helping the hero puts Leonard off-kilter, so he does it with all the theatricality and bluster he can muster, and still can barely look Barry in the eyes. Leonard hates feeling exposed, but he knows that anything less than that isn’t gonna’ fly if he wants something real with Sara.

Another reason he wouldn’t have felt confident is because… look at how he and Sara stack up. Sara is younger than him, absolutely gorgeous, incredibly strong and badass, not just an assassin but a vigilante hero who put a lot of guys like him behind bars, and is still somehow so incredibly down to earth that she doesn’t have an inflated ego, and she still sees right through him despite all that. She’s even expressed, directly to him, that she doesn’t like him all that much (when they were dying of cold, no less). 

Originally posted by quincyfisher

Leonard’s gotta feel at least a little intimidated in this situation. It’s a long-shot, and even if she might feel the same attraction and pull, there are still plenty of reasons she’d say no. Rejection is a very real possibility. But he still goes for it, because if he doesn’t, his chances are zero, and if he does, his chances at least exist, even if he doesn’t actually know his odds. 

So what does he do? He talks, in a roundabout way, about the future. About his own future, because he can’t help but start by making sure he enforces the idea that he’s looking out for Number One. But then he immediately switches to “and you.” He’s thinking about her future too. Where she’ll be, after all this. Thinking about her at all. And then the “and me and you.” 

Originally posted by lotsource

Originally posted by catvampcrazines

Sure, it’s awkward, and sure he has a hard time looking right at her when he says it until he’s laying the most important bit on the line, and sure it’s a little roundabout. But it’s real, and that’s why it fits. It’s vulnerable, but closed off because of it. And it’s a weird way to go about saying “I care about you and want a future with you” but that’s what he is saying, unmistakably. And that’s important because I don’t think Leonard has ever expressed that (romantic) sentiment to another human being, not in words, not when it was real for him.

And in a way, it actually is incredibly smooth. Because it doesn’t put her on the spot, or force her to respond. It gives her leeway to play it off (which she does) without making the situation awkward. It puts his thoughts and intentions out there in a way that won’t make her uncomfortable or force her to either accept or reject him. So he’s both shown courtesy for her, and also put himself in a position where unless she’s 100% certain she wants to reject him and chooses to right then, she doesn’t have to, and so he doesn’t actually set himself up for rejection at all. 

And well, because she’s not forced to act right then, she doesn’t… she hedges, in a flirtatious way, and neither of them leave that conversation feeling too exposed but both of them know for sure how Leonard feels.

Originally posted by legends-of-today

So in that way, awkward as the line may have seemed, it was… clever. Everything Leonard does is an emotional defense. The man is a mastermind at keeping himself safe, even here, even about this, which is unfamiliar territory to him.

So…. I loved the conversation. Had he laid it all on the line, it would have been too much. Had he played it off as a deflection or an idle flirtation, it wouldn’t have got his intentions across. If there was no vulnerability or exposure, it would have been too oozing with charm, which would have felt wrong, considering he was trying to express real emotions. If it has been totally charmless, it wouldn’t have been him

There are a few reasons why it could have felt awkward to you though. If you don’t ship captain canary, then seeing a non-ship or a notp interact romantically might have made you uncomfortable. If people interact romantically on screen when I can’t perceive any romantic chemistry between them (e.g., Ray and Kendra, for me), I cringe a bit. Or maybe it’s that you have this perception of Leonard where he’s always cool and suave, in part because we so seldom get to see him expressing more genuine, deeper emotions that make him feel vulnerable. When he does, it’s often anger that he’s expressing, using that as a defense against his vulnerability instead. So seeing him a little off his game might have butted up against your perception of him (but fits my perception of him because I think of Leonard as basically a giant awkward dork with a ridiculous and cheesy sense of humor. I mean, a murderous and competent dork, but a total nerd nonetheless). Or maybe it was the timing of it, which admittedly, it wasn’t the best time for him to be talking about his feelings, but I think part of him already knew how he was going to play this, how it might end, even if he was consciously in denial of his own willingness for self-sacrifice at that point. 

Anyway, hope this helps you consider that scene in a new light :)

4

Winter Soldier? HYDRA? Noooo. Steve and Bucky are just really, really serious about ultimate frisbee. Haha. Ha. Ha.