because i'd rather not

Bookish asks
  • Wilde: Would you rather relax by reading a new book or by re-reading a well loved book?
  • Fitzgerald: Reading with a cup of tea or mug of hot chocolate?
  • Adams: Fiction or non-fiction?
  • Cabot: Do you read in the bath?
  • Lee: Favourite book?
  • Rowling: Favourite message from a book?
  • Tolkien: Stand alone novels or a series?
  • Kidd: Do you 'dog ear' pages?
  • Zusak: stories set in the past or the future?
  • Austen: 3 favourite characters?
  • Shelley: 3 characters you dislike?
  • Dickens: a book you didn't enjoy?
  • Shakespeare: A book that made you laugh?
  • Dahl: A book you read because you saw the movie?
  • Carroll: A book that made you cry?

got tired of waiting for the update to drop so i went into town to distract myself and i ended up making some shitty golden pans

my plan is to take em to valve headquarters (a day trip to seattle is on my to-do list anyways) and give one to the team while having them sign one so I can keep it for myself

5

Based on this post

Ideas I just had: A retelling of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but set in the ancient near east with the kingdoms replaced with thematically similar cultures of the second and third millennium BC. Ancient Iran is the Fire Nation due to the earlier precursors of Zoroastrianism that worshipped fire and based their religion and court rituals around it. The water tribe is Ancient Egypt- not sure how that works with the oppression angle, but they are the “hydraulic civilisation” after all and based their cosmos on water. Southern Mesopotamia (Sumerian city-states or Akkad or Babylonian dominion depending on the timepoint) is obviously the earth kingdom because their entire civilisation and conception of existence was based around clay. The Air Nation is the Hittites because of the storm worship/ thunder god angle which is WEIRD because the Hittites definitely weren’t pacifists, but oh well.

Artists hit me up if you want to collab on this, I’m serious.

8

Ji Won: It’s not common, but it’s not impossible.

Eun Jae: What if she is (lesbian)?

Jin Myung: What about it? We let it be.

Eun Jae: But..

Ji Won: But what? You’re educated. Are you going to discriminate minorities?

~ SPN 12x15 coda ~

This is my voicemail. Make your voice…a mail.

Dean pursed his lips and pulled his phone away from his ear. Three missed calls…where was Cas? 

Usually, if he was not back home by this time – Dean tapped his screen. 10:47 pm – then he was at a hotel for the night. By now, Cas would have texted Dean to check in. To let him know that everything was all right. Maybe he was too tired to carry on an actual conversation. Maybe that’s why he sounded off on the phone earlier,

After a moment of staring at his phone, Dean opened it up and found the messages between himself and Cas. No reason he couldn’t text Cas first, right?

10:48 pm // Any more news about Dagon?

He stared at his screen until it went black. Sighing, Dean set his cell down on his nightstand and pulled off his flannel shirt, tossing it on the foot of his bed. He toed off his heavy boots and kicked them away before he tugged off his jeans. As he sat down, he glanced over at his phone.

Still no notification. Maybe Cas’ phone was dead?

Dean slipped under the covers and sat still for a second before reaching under and yanking off his socks. He threw them across the room and rested his arm behind his head. He stared at the ceiling for a long while, watching the shadows from the lamp creep over the popcorn ceiling.

His phone buzzed. Twice. 

Dean jolted up and rubbed his eyes with one hand and grabbed his cell with the other. His shoulders sagged as he rested his phone on his knee. It was only Crowley. If he actually wanted to talk to Dean, he would call him – several times in succession until Dean picked up, judging by past experiences. 

Dean unlocked his phone with a swipe of his thumb and his eyes fell to Cas’ contact picture. It was one that Dean took who know how many moths ago during a lull in a research session. In the picture, Cas was glaring over the top of Sam’s computer at Dean in response to his endless attempts to get his attention. 

“Hey, Cas,” he said, clearing his throat. He glanced up at his closed bedroom door before continuing. “I…I know it’s been a while since I’ve prayed. But that’s because you’ve been here. And, well…you’re gone now.”

He frowned, tapping his phone on his knee. Yes, Dean talked to him today – just hours ago, even – but something was wrong. Sam did not seem to notice, but Dean did. “I don’t know what to do,” he said, though not necessarily to Cas. 

“I need you here, man. You help me, you know? More than I’ll ever be able to say.” His eyes darted up to the ceiling and back down to the phone. “I’m over-reacting, huh?…You’re probably just tired.” Dean gave his phone a half-hearted smile, his eyes drooping in exhaustion. He really should try to sleep soon.

12:12 am, his phone read when he tapped the screen. He hesitated for only a second after unlocking it before he decided to call Cas again. Dean’s fingers tightened around his phone as he raised it to his ear. “Come on, buddy. Pick up.” 

His plea was answered by the trilly dial-tone, which rang three times before there was a soft click on the other end. Dean’s breath hitched in anticipation as Cas said, This is my voicemail. Make you – 

He hung up the phone and tossed it away. It bounced off the pillow next to him and onto the bed. Dean rubbed his hands over his face, sighing. “Where are you, Cas?”

I mean it’s not a huge height difference or anything but you know this would come up aaaallll the time anyway.

2

///mic drop.

So, not only did ANTIFA idiots get their asses kicked in Berkley, they also set off a smoke bomb on themselves (a smoke bomb they meant to unload on people that were demonstrating peacefully).  All ANTIFA are doing is showing themselves to be a bunch of violent assholes with no actual reason to exist.  This is NOT ACTIVISM.

I’m sorry, but if you legitimately believe that there is genuine fascism in the United States (which would require significant power, and wouldn’t be allowed to flourish in an overwhelmingly liberal first-world nation–the fact that Trump is so highly criticized by the press should be a MAJOR indication of this), you deserve to suffer under your own stupidity.  For starters, the FIRST thing that would be done under legitimate fascism would be the confiscation of ALL WEAPONS (as if that’s going to happen in the U.S. anytime soon).  Just ask anyone that lived under Marcos’ presidency in the Phillippines.  Highly-privileged American teenagers and college students have NO FUCKING IDEA what real fascism is.  One of the ANTIFA protesters fucking punched a Syrian refugee they thought was a fascist.  Do you understand now why others are criticizing your abuse of the term?  Not only is there no true fascism in the U.S., but YOU CLEARLY CAN’T BE TRUSTED TO PROPERLY IDENTIFY IT.

Are there people with shitty beliefs in this country?  Yes.  However, they have NO power, are extremely small in numbers, and are overall a fucking joke that shouldn’t have been given any attention in the first place.  We should have been continuing to roll our eyes at white supremacists and neo-Nazis the way we had been for decades, and dismissed them as the obsolete leftovers of a bygone era that they are.  ANTIFA not only made them feel validated, but gave them an undeserved spotlight.  ANTIFA made them louder, and bolder.

ANTIFA MADE THINGS WORSE.

ANTIFA ARE FUCKING EMBARRASSING.

FUCK ANTIFA.

P.S.: Y’all are panicking over some dumbass orangutan in a suit when Ronald Reagan was way, WAY worse than Chump could ever be, especially because no one even criticized him.

i like how collectively all the howling commando james decided not to go by james. like imagine if for all those years, they never knew the others were named james until one day a nurse was like, “steve’s ready for you, james” and like four commandos arrive at steve rogers’ post op room door and begin arguing on who gets to see steve first

“JACQUES IS FRENCH FOR JAMES”

“THAT DOESN’T COUNT, DERNIER”

“YOU GO BY BUCKY - CLEARLY STEVE DIDN’T MEAN YOU”

“OH REALLY, MONTY?? WE’RE GOING THERE”

“GUYS, GUYS, CLEARLY-”

“JIM, I SWEAR TO GOD -”

and gabe and dum dum end up seeing steve first while the rest are still arguing 

Relief was the last emotion Rey could’ve felt. How could she believe anything he said? She seethed with anger at him, desperate to tear the man’s mask off and hammer it into his skull. He regarded her with the same cold metallic expression. “You still want to kill me.”

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

He held her stare, and then his gloved hands touched the sides of the mask and took it off.

He had a young man’s face, with an old man’s eyes. His lips and dark hair stood out agains the pale complexion of one who shirked the sun. He looked like a student who took no joy in his studies. One who perceived only the great problems of the galaxy and not its simple pleasures.
—  p. 133-134, The Force Awakens: A Junior Novel by Michael Kogge.

look, you can call out specific ace folks who post horrible homophobic shit without acting as if it’s indicative of the entire ace community okay?? and without using those examples as proof that asexuals inherently do not belong in the lgbtqiap+ community??? like you don’t need to actively seek out instances of ace people saying fucked up shit and compile whole tags on your blog for those instances and make those tags shit like “#ace disgrace.” you especially don’t need to take posts that are in no way hurting us–posts reminding ace people that they’re not broken, posts hoping for education on ace identity so that people don’t have to spend their lives thinking there’s something wrong with them, etc–and make mean comments on them. i’ve seen all of that multiple times from people i consider friends, and it makes me feel sick in every part of my being. 

i’m a lesbian. i don’t think i’m ace, although i’ve definitely had to spend a lot of time questioning it because i have some serious issues related to past trauma that have yet to be resolved. but you know what? i remember being maybe thirteen, and happening across an article in one of my mum’s magazines about asexuality, and every person interviewed talked about the pain of not knowing there was a word for them, that there were others like them. they were mostly women and many of them talked about forcing themselves to have sex for years with men and not wanting it and feeling wrong and broken for not having the desires expected of them by this society. and i could relate so strongly to that feeling that i started fucking crying. to this day compulsory heterosexuality has me so fucked up i still find myself imagining a future in which i marry a man, because that was what i learned from every facet of the world from birth. i hate the idea; i hate the part of me that still expects to be straight, to be “normal” but it’s there, and it’s put me in a lot of really awful, upsetting situations with men where my comfort was ignored and my boundaries violated and i sat silent and let it happen. so even as a very young teen just coming to terms with my orientation, i felt so strongly for these women, most of whom would define themselves as romantically straight: their experience of the world may be in a lot of ways easier than mine but i felt the shared pain, the commonality between us sharply.

i’m a lesbian. i’m a black-mixed woman. i’m neurodivergent. this summer at a pride protest in my community one of the speakers, a woman I look up to immensely, addressed the multiple axes of her identity, from her disability to her blackness to her queerness. and one thing she said was “i came out twice: once at 14 and once at 47.” she came out as a lesbian at 14 and as ace at 47. she talked about being proudly and loudly lesbian for decades, but always feeling like something was missing, like something wasn’t right, and not having the words or knowledge base to understand what it was. she talked about asking her doctor if there was some kind of medicine she could take to “fix” her asexuality, and how her doctor said “why would you want to do that? are you unhappy? is it causing you pain?” and she talked about how, after decades of discomfort, she was able to fully come into herself by learning about and embracing her asexuality as well as her lesbian identity. both were important to her: both needed to be spoken proudly. 

one of my friends said that asexuality wasn’t like lgbp+ orientations because it was “making private information about your sex life everyone’s business” whereas being lesbian or pan isn’t necessarily about sex. he said that it shouldn’t be talked about except with partners, that people shouldn’t be coming out as ace the way they come out as trans or queer. but i think that’s just…so untrue, and so hurtful and dismissive to all the people for whom the term “asexual” was like coming home, like a light turning on, like comfort and understanding. i’ve also heard people say that asexuality is not inherently part of the community, often under the assertion that their struggle is not comparable. but then why am I as a cis woman considered a community member, despite the immense privilege I hold over trans people, and trans women in particular? it would be just as easy to take posts from all the horrible terfs on this site who happen to be lesbians and use them as proof that lesbians don’t belong in the community, so why isn’t that a common practice? what kind of logic is it to say that because a heteroromantic ace doesn’t face homophobia, they have no right to talk about their particular experiences with compulsory sexuality and erasure? you don’t have to be The Most Oppressed to talk about your particular experiences, as long as you aren’t erasing or dismissing those of people whose marginality is not yours. i can talk about my struggles with compulsory heteronormativity and with lesbophobia, and that doesn’t mean I think that trans lesbians somehow magically have it easier than me. it is harder in this world to be a trans lesbian than a cis lesbian, and that still doesn’t mean my particular struggles are invalid. 

like god, call out ace people who are perpetuating homophobia, because you should call out anyone who is perpetuating homophobia. but don’t deliberately construct a narrative that says they are homophobic because they are ace. don’t tell them that talking about their experiences and identity is inappropriate. don’t create a dichotomy in which only the lesbian or bi or gay or pan or queer part of a wlw or mlm ace is relevant and significant, especially if they explicitly consider both to be integral and interconnected. so what if you see the barriers ace people face as comparatively small? if “all” a community needs to stop being marginalized is increased awareness from the general public, that should be something to strive for and something to celebrate, because it means that with a little effort we could create a world in which no ace person has to spend years feeling broken. because as someone who used to cry every night and had a whole plan to kill myself if i wasn’t straight by the time i was 20, i know what it feels like to think you are broken and wrong for something innate and precious, and i don’t want anyone else to ever feel that. 

  • Youtube reviewer: *starts video by taking a long swig of alcohol*
  • me: "HOOOO BOY! I better BUCKLE THE FUCK UP for your HOT TAKE on The Emoji Movie"
  • What I say: I'm fine
  • What I mean: I hope joji finds joy in making ff content because I love watching it but if not I hope he stops and does something that he really enjoys and has passion for, because as much as I'd miss watching ff, I'd rather see him happy doing something he loves instead of churning out content he doesn't care about just to make a living