I saw you today and it didn’t hurt
And that hurts because I know I’m getting over you
Who am I when I’m not missing you?
I don’t know how to wake up and not reach for you
I don’t know how to live my life without waiting for you to come back
Since I apparently can’t avoid this shit no matter how many tags I block, I guess I’m gonna say a thing about it.
TFA in and of itself was a bad enough experience for me, but tbh the fandom made it ten times worse.
When you’re still coming to terms with the fact that you were basically brainwashed as a kid and it’s all starting to hit you now, seeing endless reams of commentary on your dash about brainwashed people being morally culpable, completely and solely, for all of their actions and deserving only of punishment is…not exactly helpful.
Especially when “you are to blame for everything” is…literally what you heard constantly from your abusers.
Why won't overwatch give us a black female character? We have two black male characters already :( why do they hate us?
I understand your frustration. It really feels like the game industry excludes black women from working behind the screens and appearing as major characters (not DLC or background). And when we *do* show up, the other players will suddenly get abusive and *hate* the black female character. As a black female gamer I get how hard it is to do what we do because we either have people actively hating the characters who share our heritage or they’re justifying why we shouldn’t exist at all. And it feels like game developers hate us because they always seem to drop the ball when its time to include us.
I don’t know if they *hate* us but I know they think that having a couple black men is enough diversity for all of us, and they’re not hiring us to make or voice these characters most of the time. I know I’ve seen fantasy counterpart races have more “black women” than games set in our reality and that’s a problem. There’s no reason why green skinned and blue skinned women should be “coded” as black women more than humans are.
The Overwatch issue is especially annoying because they have been lapping up that praise for their diversity and do a lot of pandering. So what could be an annoying oversight for others seems like something done on purpose with them. They seem to have no issue including women from other groups and having them be attractive and cool, and we have that same “childlike, non-threatening, black kid we can ignore” stereotype in the same game and we’re supposed to just be okay with it because having a robot as a stand in for a visible black girl isn’t a “cop out” since it only erases black women. And yeah a black genius is great no matter what but I don’t see why they couldn’t have her be an adult woman. I think having a black “child” in this kind of game, with this kind of fandom, is such a cop out!
But I don’t want you to be discouraged or feel like you are being excluded to the point that you can’t enjoy these games or participate in the fandom. There are a lot of black women working to change this and there are a lot of black gamers who know exactly how you’re feeling and we usually use fandom to fill in the blanks till these people get their shit together. You can definitely reach out to me if you want to vent about these issues further because I definitely have been there.
I have been very slack doing any real training with Luca lately and I feel bad about it. Last week I went to a beginners agility clinic but I took Jem instead of Luca and it made me sad because Jem is naturally a good agility dog and I feel sad because Luca isn’t and I don’t know if that’s because he really doesn’t want to do it or because I can’t get him there.
Basically, where do I go from here? I can train him at home with no guidance, stumbling through shaping and luring. I’ve taken him to a reactivity-specific class, but my trainer is so disorganised it’s been all over the place and not very consistent, which makes it hard for me to be consistent. I don’t know if he is ready for another regular group class. Maybe I could try restarting him in beginners obedience? Maybe I should put him in beginners agility? I’ve also been doing Fenzi courses online and the first one went well, but I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of the engagement course because being at Bronze level feels like… I dunno, there are no set tasks it’s just sort of reading. And I don’t know where to take it.
I guess I just want some advice on what to do here. How do I kickstart something again? How do I see some kind of progress in… anything? I feel like I am stuck where I am, unable to see the way forward.
Hc about MC who has soooooo much trouble to get up from bed? Like she needs 12h of sleep and she is so ded when she must wake up at 7 and only RFA can wake her up but its so hard because she keeps falling asleep and they must watch for her she won't do it again and when they finally wake her up she's in bed for next 30 min. And when she finally gets up she is soooo slow and guys must do her hair because she is so sleepy and she is ALWAYS late for work? Lolol please I want to read this so much
Once he notices, Saeyoung times MC on her off days to see;o_O wow, you really…. thought this one through. Are you okay?
These two never get out of the house on time
Okay, between school, LOLOL, and other things, it took Yoosung a good… two to four years before he realized how bad it was
Like, he knew that MC had trouble getting out of bed, but it took Yoosung having a regular sleep schedule himself to figure that out
Yoosung experimented to see what exactly was the best way to get her up
He tried feeding her and giving her coffee in bed, but she’d eat while dozing off, then thank him and curl up to go back to sleep
He tried setting five alarms for her, but she just turned all them off while still half asleep
Yoosung even considered splashing water on her face, but he didn’t do that because he realized that was a really stupid idea
In the end, he asked if MC had seen a doctor about all this, as it didn’t seem normal or healthy, and it turned out she had and was fine
In the end, they figured out a morning routine together, and it mostly consisted of them scrambling through all the necessities in the last half-hour before they had to leave
These two are a mess in the mornings, but a joy in the evenings
Jaehee is on top of this
Once Jaehee knows all MC’s morning obstacles, she makes sure that MC gets to bed early enough that she has enough time to get up and go through her routine
In the morning, she always has coffee ready, and is never afraid to help MC get undressed and into the shower
And redressed, as MC wanders out of the shower dripping and naked, searching for coffee, if she doesn’t
Before Jaehee got a routine down, she occasionally had to help MC eat and once spoon fed her cereal
As thanks for taking care of her in the morning, MC takes care of worn-out evening Jaehee everyday
He picks her up and carries her to the table on more than one occasion
Zen may not be able to cook much, but at the very least he can cook breakfast
So he gets them both their coffee and breakfast ready everyday, then helps her get dressed (usually while planting kisses on her to try to motivate her)
When she falls asleep at the breakfast table, sitting up or face down, he sometimes takes pictures because she’s so cute
Zen would totally help her into the shower, too, and if she’s too sluggish that morning, he’ll help her bath ;) (it’s really not that sexy, but he can’t help laughing sometimes)
The one that Zen can’t understand is why she goes to bed so early, but still can’t get up by herself in the morning
Upside to being married to Jumin, she can take her time
Maybe they rarely have breakfast together, but she’s able to take all of her sweet time getting up and out of bed
However, Jumin figures out a routine with her that helps her wake up faster so that, when he does have time off, they can spend as much time as possible together.
Once he notices, Saeyoung times MC on her off days to see;
How long she sleeps
How long it takes her to get out of bed
And how long it takes her to be awake
He treats the whole thing like a science experiment, and once he has all the necessary data, he sets up a few tricks
First, he makes sure that all clocks set themselves forwards two hours at midnight, so that it goes off when she sets it, but its earlier than it needs to be, thus giving her extra time to wake up, then they reset at 10am, by the time she’s already gone. It also works to scare her out of bed if she’s slept for longer than she meant.
Then, he has Meowy ready, if he’s not there, to help MC by doing a little dance for her and playing music until she gets out of bed
And the coffee maker is set on a timer so that it automatically has fresh coffee brewed and ready by the time that she is up
Basically, he uses technology as their mutual best friend
Superhero-ing While Black: the two sides of the Sokovia Accords
RHODEY: Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have. SAM: So let’s say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they lojack us like a bunch of common criminals? RHODEY: A hundred seventeen countries want to sign this. A hundred and seventeen, Sam, and you’re just like, “Naw, it’s cool, we got it.” SAM: How long are you going to play both sides?
In a narrative sense, the sides that Rhodey and Sam pick in Captain America: Civil War are very predictable. No one’s really expecting Tony Stark’s best friend to side against him, after all, or Sam “I do what he does, just slower” Wilson to fight Steve Rogers. But in-universe, looking at the specific arguments for and against the Accords – it’s illuminating to look at how both Sam and Rhodey’s positions are informed by race.
I'm naming her Bella. I will not allow you to butcher and mesh two more names. Her name is Carlie. Deal with it.
Why can't I fight with you and momma papa? I want to show the Volturi that I'm not a scared little girl. Anyone threatens to kill my family, I refuse to run away
Carlie, how many times have I told you? No throwing knifes in the house. You could hurt Renessmee or yourself. Be more careful.
C'mon kiddo. I'll teach you how to fight.
*scoffs* It'd be best if I teach her. You get frustrated too easily Emmett.
Carlie, your growth is more rapid than Renessmee's. Your genes must be slightly different from hers. It could be an attribution to a power we haven't discovered yet.
It's so sweet of you to help me make dinner for you and Renessmee. I feel like you and I hardly get any time together. Renessmee's always off with either her parents or Jacob and you keep to yourself most of the time. Just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone sweetie. You are my grandbaby afterall.
Your mother and I don't love Renessmee more than you Carlie. We love you both equally. She just relies on us more than you. You've always been more independent than your sister.
I'm more independent because you and mom are always with her and Aunt Rose takes care of me. But whatever. I don't care anymore. She'll be stuck here in Forks and you all will have to leave eventually and I will travel the world once I reach an acceptable age growth.
Where have you been Carlie?! You've been gone for three whole days! What on earth are you wearing?!
*sighs* Relax mom. I went to Comic Con in San Diego and cosplayed as Harley Quinn. I went to have some fun. Geez, it's like your trying to keep me trapped with you forever since Renessmee started solely hanging out with Jacob. I bet you really hate that imprint now cause you finally have to pay attention to your other daughter.
Carlie, come shopping with me. We never spend any girl time together since you started buying your own clothes.
But there's a Gotham marathon on today. How about I go shopping with you tomorrow then?
*watching the Romanian aired teach you how to fight and use weapons from a window in the house because Bella and Edward forbid him from teaching her himself* I don't see what the problem was with them Alice. I have no urge to drink wither of the girls blood and I adore Carlie. I should be teaching her how to fight, not those barbaric two.
I know Jas. But she finally made some friends that weren't a part of our family. Renessmee has Jacob and that's all she needs. Carlie is free to expand herself unbound to anyone. We don't want to smother the girl by crowding her all the time.
I can't believe Bella never told you about periods. Oh wait, I can. Look Carlie, you have nothing to fear. It's completely natural.
I HATE IT! I FEEL HORRIBLE ALL THE TIME AND I KEEP CRAVING CHEESECAKE AND CHEETOS!
Why do you hate me Carlie? I never did anything to you.
*rolls eyes and scoffs* Exactly. I hardly even know you and you're the guy my sister is bound to for life. You've hardly ever acknowledged me before. You've hardly ever spokento me and you have no interest in anyone but my sister. I don't like you because I know that the imprint you have with my sister isn't how you really are or were before my mom even started screwing with your life.
How can you say such a thing Carlie?!
Oh please. Shut up mom. You know I'm right. You only support that imprint because now, Jacob will forever be within your grasp. Just because you chose not to have him all those years ago doesn't mean you get to keep him around when he's moved on with his life.
Will you be my maid of honor?
I haven't seen or heard from you in nearly four years sis. And frankly I don't want to go to your wedding at all. You know your marriage won't end well. You're in love with Nahuel and whether you admit it or not, you don't feel the same pull if the imprint like you used to. Stop dragging Jacob along. Stop your relationship with him and decide what you want. God, you are worse than our mother. Make up your freaking mind.
I didn't think it would be possible, but I am actually best friends with someone who shares half her DNA with Bella Cullen.
Oh hush. I'm nothing like my mother and you know it. Now shut up so I can hear Tom Hiddleston say "mewling quim."
Are you sure about this Carlie?
Yes, for the thousandth time. I love you and I refuse to be bound to someone I met only once. I fell in love with you and that is what I've always wanted. To fall in love, not be bound by fate to become whatever my mate pleases.
This is mainly an SIF-style dialogue. Kasumi says everything in the dialogue, addressing the reader, an older student at the school. The rest of the article is her introduction from the PDP website (see here for my translation of that).
college au where isak is coming back from a party and he’s drunk as hell and he can’t get the door open and hes like wtf?? so he kicks the door and shit and then someone opens the door and if isak wasn’t so drunk, he could appreciate the beautiful dude but said dude is standing between him and his bed rn and he just wants to sleep, so when dude is like what do you want wtf? he just pushes past him and crashes on the bed and falls asleep immediately and dude’s so confused what just happened but he lets isak sleep and the next morning when isak wakes up, there’s ibuprofen and a glass of water on his bedside table and a vv pretty dude staring at him from across the dude and when isaks brain finally catches up with him, hes like wtf are you doing in my room??? and the dude introduces himself as even and he’s like well,, thats my room, you just came in here and crashed. and isak is sO embarrassed and gets up but he’s dizzy and falls back onto the bed and even tells him its okay, he can stay here until he feels better and then he cooks isak breakfast and they watch a movie together bYE
guys i legit can’t stop crying over that clip about vilde.
she’s only 17 years old and has been taking care of her alcoholic mother and all of the housing bills and other financial shit that a 17 year old girl shouldn’t have to worry about and be in charge of. since season one, she’s been the most bubbliest character out of all of the girls and has been struggling behind closed doors and had to make excuses after excuses as to why her friends couldn’t come to her house and see her mother like this.
like we all lowkey knew that something wasn’t right from the moment that vilde was the most excited about the russbuss, but never wanted any of the meetings to be at her own place. but now that it’s actually confirmed that she’s been going through this, my heart won’t stop breaking and i can’t get over it.
and you could tell that sana’s message to vilde about how she admires how strong she always is really meant a lot to her, because she deserves to be recognised for holding her head up high whilst still having to deal with a whole lot of baggage at home.
i love her and she definitely deserves a season focused on this story
We don't accept returns with out a receipt. That is our return policy. My manager makes me take one as an exception. We get pinged by LP because it was stolen from one of our other branches and of course, it's on MY register. My manager was like 'I'm sorry! I won't write you up of course but it is in the file that it happened' how about fuck off and admit that it was YOU forcing my hand?!?!?! Now if I transfer it's on the books :(
That’s the kind of shit that made me start telling them if they want to accept the return I’ll sign out and they can do it under their own numbers. If they are unwilling to do that then it’s not getting returned. Sorry not sorry.
KP anon- all this reg/clar on my dash kinda got me into it so!! This is kinda dumb but...Clarus having a sort of bad pollen allergy but it won't stop him from following Regis into the gardens. He's sniffling and trying not to sneeze while Regis tends to the garden (it helps him think). Regis insists he doesn't have to be there but Clarus is adamant about staying because he loves watching Regis tend to his flowers, he thinks it's cute. Eventually they get distracted smooching in the royal gardens
How cute! I’m getting sucked into the RegClar hell, too, let’s go down together. I’m sorry I have never actually attempted to write anything for these two, so I hope I don’t screw it up too bad ^^;;
The Silver Lining Regis/Clarus (fluff)
Spring was the worst. It was the actual worst. Spring was when the gardens at the Citadel were in full bloom, and wherever Clarus went he couldn’t seem to escape the smell of flowers. The throne room, the corridors, even the training hall were overwhelmed by the scent of the rose bushes budding to life.
Not that Clarus disliked flowers, or anything. He didn’t feel any particular way or the other about flowers. It was just that….well. Flowers didn’t seem to like him very much. He’d never admitted to the others about his terrible allergies (Cid would never have let him live it down), and thus spent every spring avoiding the outdoors as much as humanly possible.
From his position on his knees Regis glanced up at Clarus and frowned, bright blue eyes full of concern. “Have you caught a cold? Here,” he said, passing him a handkerchief from his vest pocket.
Clarus grunted. While he accepted the kerchief, he did little more than hold it delicately between his thumb and forefinger, not wanting to sully the expensive silk. “Nah, it’s nothing. Just a little – ah…. aahh….AHhCHOoo! ….allergy.”
“Allergy?” Setting down his trowel, Regis got to his feet, brushed the barely visible amount of dirt from his knees, and looked Clarus square in the eyes. “Allergy to what? Is it serious?”
“Nah, ‘s nothin’, don’t worry about it.” With his face half-hidden behind his hand (he’d intended to wipe his nose but was now too embarrassed to pull it away), Clarus cleared his throat and tried hard not to meet that piercing gaze. That gaze that had always been able to see right through him, to see when he was lying. Well, not telling the full truth.
Which was different, right?
Apparently not. “Clar, is that why you’ve been missing training so much this week? You were sick and didn’t tell me!” Oh no, not the pout, please not the pout.
Regis stuck out his bottom lip ever so slightly and Clarus forced back a whine. “And you followed me out to the gardens?! Are you trying to put yourself in the infirmary?”
“Regis, it’s not a big deal, really I – .“ Clarus suddenly stopped. His eyes widened, his face twisting into a mask of tension and strain. In front of him, Regis flushed with panic.
“Clar? Clarus! What is it?!” He lunged forward, gripping strong shoulders in his delicate palms and feeling his chest tighten with concern. “Are you alr – “
The sneeze rocked them both, Regis suddenly clinging to his friend for fear of tumbling backwards with the force of it. With one hand, Clarus had managed to guard most of the damage, while the other had struck out on instinct to wrap around his prince’s waist. And so there they stood, chest to chest and staring at each other with eyes wide with surprise, until with a polite cough Regis stepped back to a more (barely) appropriate distance.
“You fool,” he smiled, and plucked his handkerchief from he other’s iron grip. Clarus didn’t resist when delicate fingers removed his hand from in front of his face, or even when the soft dab of silk began to wipe away the mess from his lips.
“What in Eos possessed you to come out here with me if you knew you’d get sick?” The young prince was still smiling, his cheeks a soft shade of pink as he concentrated on cleaning Clarus’ upper lip.
Shifting a little uncomfortably on his feet, the Shield resisted the urge to pull the other man back into his arms. It was more of a struggle than was probably healthy, and he could almost picture Weskham’s disapproving frown already…
“Well, uh. It’s just that when you’re gardening you… y’know, you get really into it. It’s um.” Don’t say cute, whatever you do, do not say – “Cute.”
“C-cute?” Blue eyes widened to discs, and Regis paused with his fingers (and the handkerchief between them) hovering just above full, tight lips. “You think I’m….?”
“W-well, yeah.” Clarus kicked himself mentally, but he had come too far to back out now. Past the point of no return. He risked a side glance at the garden’s main entrance. Empty. They were alone, thank the Six. “When you get excited about flowers, you’re…cute. And, y’know. Other times, too.”
Regis was watching him with something more than casual interest in his shining eyes, and Clarus found himself unable to look away. Not that he wanted to, of course. Because he was pretty sure they were having a moment and he’d be damned if he was going to miss an opportunity like this, proper or not.
So with a soft sound in the back of his throat, he once again settled his arm around Regis’ waist and guided them both back several steps. Until they were completely hidden behind the rose bushes, free from prying eyes. “Like right now,” he answered, and smiled at the way his king’s cheeks flared.
“Clarus?” Regis swallowed, his throat bobbing deliciously as his tongue flicked out to wet suddenly parched lips. Amber eyes didn’t miss the act. “I’m thinking… I’d like to kiss you.”
As hot as they felt, Clarus’ cheeks had to be just as red as the smaller man’s, if not redder. “I’m all snotty and gross,” he said, wishing he wasn’t.
“Can you… bend down a bit?”
“Uh, y-yeah. Like thi – “
His words were cut short as Regis suddenly pushed himself up onto his toes and closed the distance. Their lips met, an awkward and chaste kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. Clarus, too, let his eyes flutter closed, pulling Regis closer against his body as their mouths adjusted to the long-overdue contact. Neither wanted to pull away, neither wanted to stop. Slowly, Regis began to move his lips, sliding them over his Shield’s and marveling at the warmth spreading through his entire body, and at how comfortable he felt in Clarus’ arms.
They likely could have spent the entire afternoon like that – lip-locked and enchanted together in the garden – if Clarus hadn’t gone and ruined the moment with another glass-shattering sneeze.
Regis pulled away with a laugh, light and carefree, as he attempted to shove the handkerchief back in his friend’s face. “We’d best get you inside,” he suggested with an altogether undignified smirk. “You should lie down for a while.”
“H-huh? Wait, Reg, where are you – ?!”
He was dragged off with surprising strength, back toward the main hallway and (eventually) toward the prince’s own bedroom, hoping to the gods that Weskham – or worse, King Mors – didn’t come looking for them for the rest of the afternoon.
Hi, Seanan. I've seen so much hype for The Brightest Fell (including your own palpable excitement) that I really want to read it! But I'm concerned that I won't get the full effect because I haven't read anything else in the series yet. Do you think I could pick it up on its own anyway, or would that just not work?
It is…not the best plan, no.
There’s a little “the story so far” thing at the front of the book to sort of give you an idea of what the hell is happening, but it’s absolutely no replacement for reading the rest of the series. The Brightest Fell is the act two equivalent of An Artificial Night from act one: it’s where everything kicks into gear and starts stacking on top of what’s come before.
TL;DR: I absolutely do not recommend starting with The Brightest Fell. Start with Rosemary and Rue, and get the full emotional effect of the terrible things I have done/am doing to October.