because i will punch u in the face

if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you


i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)

Who Should You Fight: Ezra Miller Edition

Kevin: do it. fight the little fucker. he’s a scrawny, megalomaniacal dickface, it’ll be easy. punch him right in the face, his family will thank you. (just make sure he can’t get his hands on a bow and some arrows because your chances of winning decrease dramatically in that event) 10/10

Elliot: 100% go for it. destroy this whiny mofo. u could blow on him and knock him over, he doesn’t stand a chance. 8/10

Patrick: I mean, you could fight Patrick. you’d probably win, too. but why would you he’s beautiful and gay and very sad. also Charlie will probably beat your ass. 0/10 would not recommend.

Daniel: this hippie probably weighs 15 whole pounds soaking wet, and he has sideburns. yeah, you could fight him, but consider this- hasn’t he suffered enough? 2/10 just leave him alone with his tears.

Leon Dupuis: sure, he’s distractingly pretty, but his name is Leon. 9/10 fight him.

Credence Barebone: there are 2 reasons why fighting this tiny child will be the worst mistake of ur life. reason #1 he’ll cry probably, and then you’ll feel like a monster, and reason #2 he can literally destroy you. -1000/10 do not fight this precious boy.

Barry Allen: 10/10 FIGHT THIS NERD!!!! you won’t win, he’s very fast, but fight him anyway.

anonymous asked:

someone is getting married. that someone is dragged to a strip club for their bachelor party by the rest of the RFA+V+Saeran. just how much of a hot mess would this nightmare be?

A/N: Can y’all imagine though, can y’all imAGINE I WANNA SEE THEM IN A STRIP CLUB LMAO~Admin 404

Not even gonna lie i’m the person who says “nooo it’s embarrassing” but take me there and i’d be stuffing dollar bills down thongs like no tomorrow ~ Admin 626


-is he even alLOWED IN HERE



-He’s a blushing mess the whole time, he can’t even look anywhere

-Seriously, he covers his eyes every time someone walks by because??? They’re half naKED


-Text: “MC, they dragged me here I swear I’m not looking at anYONE I’M NOT LOOKING, I’M NOT TOUCHING, NOTHING” Response: “yoosung wtf”

-Saeyoung tried to get him a private dance and he literally screeched and ran away


-Overall he did not like it. He was so nervous, and could not enjoy himself. Blew up MC’s phone telling them how much he loves them, stood outside or hid in the bathroom a lot of the time as well


-He literally has no interest

-He had no sexual interest in people before anyways

-Well at least not any interest large enough to act upon

-He loves you for who you are, not your body

-That being said, he kind of just sat there all night with an uninterested stare

-He felt a little awkward every time he saw a fellow business man (especially ones he knew or has done business with)

- “a lot of these men are married why are they throwing money at these half naked people”

-Zen kept telling him that he was killing the vibe at his own bachelor party and he just shrugged

-He was so bored the entire time, he absolutely hated it

-Silently judged everyone in the room just to pass the time, also tried to secretly text you until the others noticed and took his phone


-He didn’t care about the strippers

-He danced along to almost every song that came on



-Wasn’t about having the strippers dance up on him though

- pls i am a child of god do not do this

- i am devout to my MC, they are the love of my life get away from me with your sIN

-When his song came on you can bet your sweet ass he jumped up on the stage

-Seriously he was workin’ it. Strippin’ it. Putting his thing down, flipping and reversing it.

-Saeran had to drag him off of the stage before he could do anything else, but Zen had already recorded it and sent it to MC, who in turn, laughed their asses off and refused to let it go for years


-He does not like other people

-Let alone strange, mostly naked people


-Absolutely hates it there and wants nothing more than to go home

-He misses his precious MC ;A;

-It took A LOT to get him where he is in the relationship he has with you

-He wouldn’t do anything to mess it up

-Not to mention, he has literally NO interest in anyone else but you??

-Saeyoung tried to get him to get a personal dance but that idea was shot down fairly quickly when he was almost punched in the face

-He actually spent most of the time just sitting there. Most people wouldn’t come near him because Death Glare™. Did not enjoy himself, not at all




- like yeah they got nice bodies??? But u know who has a nicer body???



- ofc he doesn’t dance up on anyone, he’s a saint, he loves MC




- B L U S H I N G



- she just DOWNS drinks to get through the night, she wants to be supportive

- she drunk texts u a lot

- “hey,,, hey MC,,, are u a whistle cause i want to blow u,,,”

- “There will be only seven planets remaining after i destroy ur anus,,,”

- “if u were a potato,,, I’d mash the hell out of you,,,”

- MC screenshots everything and sends it to the group chat

- Jaehee looks at some of the strippers for candidates for a possible threesome ;;))))


- this sweet, innocent boy doesn’t know what to do

- he wants to support his friends but???

- he’s not really someone who gets drunk and he’s definitely not for watching strippers

- so what does he do???

- he imagines ur the one stripping instead

- like he’s seriously just staring at a wall pretending ur there

- at some point though, saeyoung manages to drag V up on stage??




- he just follows along with saeyoung???

- everyone seems to be loving it so he must be doing something right???

- he ends up loving it

- considers stripping as a career

- then he decided that you’re the only person he strips for me ;;))

4 | No Escape

Genre: Apocolypse AU / Fluff / Angst / Future Smut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1,863

Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies and blood, gory, mentions of rape

“What are you going to do? Shoot me with that gun? Little man, If you would look around, I think I out numbered you by maybe fifteen people.”

Masterlist ♥︎


Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

A/n: Sorry this part is so short, its sort of just a fill in chapter

Keep reading

there’s so many foxes-playing-never-have-i-ever au headcanons going around but i give you this

  • super late post game stoli rasberry vodka shots
  • okay that’s one of my favorites but whatevs we’ll use it
  • andrew only drinks jack daniels
  • because he’s p r e t e n t i o u s
  • i hate jack
  • the freshman and the whiskey
  • and it’s so easy to make andrew drink and he hates them all so much because never have i ever killed someone? never have i ever been to juvie? never have i ever punched through a window?
  • these assholes play by targeting and tonight andrew’s the one getting targeted and he’s furious but neil’s laughing so whatever it’s fine
  • even the casual ones; never have i ever given a blowjob or never have i ever punched someone in the face ((everyone drinks))
  • but there’s one that nobody’s said yet because half the team can’t say it
  • they’re all thinking it but they’re all guilty of doing the same
  • finally when it’s renee’s turn allison whispers something into her ear. renee laughs (she has a laugh like windchimes)
  • “okay. never have i ever thought about kissing neil.”
  • there’s a brief pause, then;
  • andrew drinks
  • nicky drinks with the most guilty look on his face
  • allison drinks
  • matt and dan link their arms and take their shots together, laughing at an inside joke that no one wants to ask about
  • kevin lifts his glass halfway to his mouth, sighs, and takes the shot
  • neil watches this absolutely confounded
  • aaron looks a little sick
  • renee has the most smug grin on her face and it matches allison who was the real mastermind behind this one
  • “what the fuck.” neil says
  • aaron mimics it and reaches for the full bottle of vodka praying he won’t remember that in the morning

i will never understand bts antis, and how much hatred they have for the boys. and another thing i’ll never understand is where they got all that hatred from? unless bts have actually punched u in the face, and stolen ur bike, why do u hate them to the point where you threaten their safety? and if u don’t like them, that’s fine. but if ur going to threatned their saftey, start rumors, treat them like trash, then reconsider ur entire being because ur pathetic.

sleptinlastnightsclothes  asked:

tfw ur instructor has ur class spar and u face two guys back to back who punch u directly in the boob like cmon guys we're train to aim for the center of the body not the right tit

I’m so sorry if this message has been sitting in the inbox forever; I’ve been running this blog from mobile and it doesn’t give notifications. 

But yes, THIS. I think every female martial artist with boobs has had this happen at least once. Even other girls are guilty of this, too, because let’s face it, when it comes to combat these “things” get in the way. Sports bras can bind and hold them down, but that doesn’t make breasts any less sensitive. Unfortunately a lot of people think chest = solar plexus, and us women are on the losing end of that one.

In my art when we spar we don’t wear any protection over the chest, so it’s open season during matches, ugh. 

First Kiss (Johnny Scenario)

You wake up to the ringing of your phone. Picking it up you smile as you read the caller id.

“Hello?” You answer trying not to sound as if you barley woke up but miserably failing since your croaky voice made it evident.

“Please tell me that you are not just barley waking up?!“

“No.” You lyingly say.

“Are you sure about that?” He says with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Yes Johnny, I’m sure. Now what’s up?” You respond slightly annoyed.

Johnny was/is the closest friend that you have. You guys kept in contact everyday and he was one of the few people you would hang out with frequently. But even though he was like your best friend he did get annoying sometimes but you still loved him mainly because you had a crush on him that nobody but you knew and you were planning to keep it that way.

You were too scared to face the fact that if your feelings were to come out he would not feel the same. That’s why it was better for you to keep it inside. But honestly, the more you talked and hanged out with him the more your feelings grew.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go watch a movie or something?”

You sit in silence trying to keep the sound of excitement from escaping your mouth.

“Hello? Planet earth to (y/n).”

“Oh yeah sure.” You manage to say.

“Okay cool, I will pick you up at your house at six? Does that sound good?“

“Yes sounds good.” You say as a smile began to form on your face.

You finish saying goodbye and hang up. Looking at the time you see that you still have alot of time to spare before Johnny picks you up so being the lazy bum that you are you crawl back into bed and fall back to sleep.


You were awaken by the sound of a message. Lazily grabbing your phone you see that it was message from Johnny.

“On my way…I’ll be there in 10 min.”

Shit- You immediately climb out of bed and head to the bathroom. Noticing your bed hair as you look into the mirror you quickly began to comb it out. Once done, you begin applying a quick layer of makeup. With one last glance in the mirror you head out towards your closet. You were not in the mood to wear jeans so you decided to not wear any. You looked down at yourself and noticed that you were just wearing an oversized pink t-shirt from last night so you decided to leave it on and just throw on a denim jacket.

The sound of your phone going off startled you, making your way to answer you see that it was Johnny. He’s already here- You thought as you put on your white shoes. Without answering you made your way to the full length mirror to have one last look at yourself and made sure everything looked put together and decent. You notice that some baby hairs were sticking out on top of your head so you grab your white hat to cover them. Your phone rang once more as you grabbed your bag and started to head out. Once you made it outside you saw Johnny sitting in his car with his phone to his ear. As he noticed you coming he put his phone down and smiled.

“Took you long enough. I was already planning to leave you here and go by myself.” He says as you climb in and close the door.

“Oh please you would be bored out of your mind without me.”

He pushes your hat off your head as he childishly mocks you.

“Aiish Johnny!” You say annoyed as he drives off.


“Did you like the movie?”

You were looking out the window and too caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t noticed that Johnny asked you a question.

“ Y/n?” He asks turning to look at you shaking you from your thoughts.

You turn to look at him and you see a confused face looking back at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes I am.” You say nodding your head repeatedly.

Truth was, you were not. The same confused look that Johnny had on his face a minute ago reflected how you felt on the inside.

During the movie Johnny was acting weird compared to all the other times that you guys were together. An incident occurred that made your heart skip a beat and confused at the same time.

While watching the movie Johnny placed his hand on yours. You thought it had had been accidently since he was getting too into the movie, but after a while his hand still remained on top of yours. He intertwined his fingers with yours and began caressing the top of your thumb with his.

This lasted short because you were beginning to get all sweaty and nervous. You quickly removed your hand from his before he felt the sweat that was forming due to your nervousness.

Johnny took notice of your action but acted like nothing happened and continued to pretend to watch the movie.

The sudden stop of the vehicle broke you from your thoughts once more. You shake your thoughts away as you turned to Johnny and slightly smiled.

“You’re back home.” He said as he returned the smile.

You nod and as you unbuckle yourself. Johnny gets down and heads to open the car door for you. You stare in awe, shocked at what was happening before your eyes. Johnny was never this attentive towards you which made you really confused on why all the sudden changes now.

As you climb out the car, Johnny closes the door and begins walking closely behind as you made your way to your house door.

Slowly turning around to tell him thank you he interrupts you.

“Before you say anything about what happened tonight I want to clear things out for you so you won’t be confused anymore.”

“Johnny, I-”

“I like you, y/n.” He says as he stares straight at you with blushing cheeks.

You stand in silence trying to process what has been told to you. Your heart beginning to race as you felt like you were on cloud 9.

“What?” Was that all that managed to come out of your mouth.

“I have fallen for my best friend. I just couldn’t help it, the more I tried to avoid this the stronger it became. I just love how I can be myself around you and feel very comfortable while being with you.” He says as he starts getting closer and closer to you. You were now inches away from each other. He stared down at you with his beautiful brown eyes as you admired the rest of his beautiful face features.

He begins coming closer, lips so close that with just one small swift move they would become one. He stares at your lips and then at your eyes as if looking for approval to move forward.

You stare at his soft lips and without hesitation you slowly connect your lips to his. His lips were soft and delicate as yours molded with his. He slowly cups your face as the kiss got more intimate. It was slow yet affective, since now you felt all types of feelings in your body. He breaks the kiss very slowly as he looks down at you and smiles.

“So I guess you feel the same way?” He says.

“Yes, I like you too Johnny and a lot!” You say as a huge grin appeared on his face.

He hugs you tightly as you nuzzle your face on his chest. Hearing the loud thumping of his heart you smiled to yourself.

“So, now I guess since there will be more kissing between us, you should get a stool or something to step on because I feel like I’m going to end up with a broken neck after all this bending down to kiss you.” He says as he pulls away from the hug.

“Omg Johnny!” You say as your roll your eyes and lightly punch him on his chest.

He lets out a laugh as he takes you back into his arms. He grabs your chin so you can face him and he lightly kisses you.

“Or I will just deal with it because I love you so much.”

camp nano day 14

14,380 / 30,000 I’m almost halfway there I’m so close

today I continued from exactly where I left off yesterday, so uh. angst and isolation and suffering oh my

here’s what’s what in AYFTB shenanigans

  • I’m getting into the swing of writing horrifying unrealities so that’s fun. no one else is having fun in these scenes but I sure am. tons of fun. funreality. gravity convulses. the pavement stops being a colour and starts being a sound. sometimes time isn’t there
  • you can still be a cool action hero and do cool action hero things while you’re crying the whole time. tris has been crying for the past three pages
  • that godforsaken ceiling fan is about to make another appearance bless
  • “He wasn’t putting all his faith into sheer chance, he realised. Goddamn it, he was putting all his faith into himself. And that was infinitely more terrifying.”
  • after this bit Tris and Kai finally get to reunite tho and everything is a little less awful because I mean?? it’s all p messed up stuff to have to deal with on your own, at least now they can join forces and unlock Maximum Powers Of Friendship. also both of them are about ten levels of Absolutely Fucking Done with the universe’s bullshit and a little bit dead inside

tomorrow I will jump to a scene that is happening elsewhere, as Noa and Alice transcend the human restraints of time itself and experience all possible futures in the same instant

as a general rule this version of the book doesn’t make a lot of sense

shoutout to “Transatlanticism” by Death Cab For Cutie because it just came on shuffle and because I like that song a lot

I’ll keep writing just so I can keep shoving my music choices at you

watch me

au ideas
  • “you’re my roommate and the only one on campus who isn’t planning on going home for christmas bc you have family troubles but my mom wouldn’t mind if u stayed with us for christmas so u won’t be alone” au
  • “i only realized i was in love with u after u died and like 3 yrs later u come back as a fuckin angel or some shit and oh god you’re even cuter than i remember and i missed you like hell pls marry me” au
  • “i’m paranoid as hell and i think my house is haunted so i called over a paranormal investigator and oh no you’re really hot?? also it looks like my house really is haunted and its serious so i guess we’re gonna have to spend more time together until we figure out how to deal with this” au
  • “we live together and you have to film something for a project and the subject ur assigned is horror so u drag me to a haunted forest bc you want ur film to be THE BEST but it turns out there really is something lurking in the forest and we’re both terrified as hell and can’t find our way out” au
  • “i woke up in our dorm room in the dead of the night and u weren’t there and when u didn’t come back i got super worried so i wandered around campus until i found u shivering in the bleachers, and u looked really upset so i gave u my jacket and stayed out there with u for an hour until u finally told me what was wrong” au
  • “i have an awful fear of fireworks so on the fourth of july we stay in our dorm room while u strum ur guitar and try everything u can to calm me down” au
  • “you’re having a nightmare and i feel bad because you’re trembling and crying so i crawl into bed with u and hold u so u feel safe, but in the morning u wake up with my arms wrapped around u you’re really confused and embarrassed” au
  • “i’m a siren and you’re a pirate but i decide not to kill u because you’re actually really really REALLY cute oh shit” au
  • “you’re blind and at the airport and you’re really stressed out, hey it turns out we have the same flight, how about u just hold my hand and i can be your eyes, mostly because i feel bad but also because you’re super cute” au
  • “u walked in on me while i was playing a horror game and i screamed out of sheer terror bc i thought u were a monster coming to steal my soul and now ur laughing and i would be mad but your laugh is really, really cute” au
  • “you kissed me in an attempt to steal my wallet but i know all the tricks haha sucks for u, let’s get coffee sometime and i can teach you some goddamn manners” au
  • “i have to kiss u for spin the bottle/truth or dare and it turns out you’re an amazing kisser and now i’m hella attracted to u, wanna get dinner sometime? maybe make out a bit?” au
  • “you’re a lesser-known artist and i’m hanging out at a small art studio in the city and you catch me staring in awe at your work” au
  • “you’re my patient and i’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you but it’s hard to do that when you’re flirting with me, seriously dude i’m not gonna be able to diagnose you as easily when you’re telling me how my labcoat complements my eyes jfc” au
  • “you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au
  • “we’re stuck in a convenience store because there’s a huge-ass storm and you’re freaking the fuck out because you’re terrified so i guess since i’m your best friend i’ll just sit with you in this aisle and sing to you to try and calm you down” au
  • “i literally took a bullet for you and now you owe me big time” au
  • “we’re at a mutual friend’s wedding on a ferry so after the initial wedding we’re stuck at the afterparty until we get back to shore, and since we both despise huge crowds we just sorta hang around each other and one thing leads to another and we wake up in the same bed” au

stupid (and not so stupid?) shantae headcanons time

  • at one point while sailing around in TPC, Risky wanted to call Shantae over for something but halfway thru her brain mixed up ‘shantae’ & ‘runt’ and she ended up yelling “SHUNT”
  • if it weren’t for Uncle Mimic, Shantae would’ve ditched Scuttle Town the second the Mayor started pulling bullshit with her pay
  • bolo would be a great relic hunter and also he needs a hug
  • Wrench is rooting for Shantae and Rottytops to hook up. he has never mentioned this because Sky would not approve and also because he cannot talk
  • if Squid Baron ever shows his face in Mermaid Falls, Giga Mermaid will punch him into the next kingdom
  • the other barons secretly make fun of Techno Baron’s tiny hands
  • there are absolutely other half-human hybrids running around Sequin Land. not half-genies, necessarily, but given that monsters are sentient enough that they have their own town (WHERE U CAN TALK TO THEM AND IN WHICH U CAN FIND HUMAN NPCS) i don’t think it’s that much of a stretch
  • Poe and Mimic both like rly old anime
  • The Mysterious Glowing Light giving Shantae advice during half-genie hero was defiintely her mom


anonymous asked:

My dude if u ever have the time, I would appreciate Delsin Rowe Dating headcanons


Originally posted by chunli

  • This mf is fly as fuck with you and it’s awful because he knows it. Every time he manages to impress you with anything he does, he gets this like smug grin on his face that’s really cute, but also really infuriating. You just want to punch him in the face or kiss him for it. It’s usually the latter.
  • If its cold he’ll let you wear his beanie. I hope you feel special because he never lets anyone touch his beanie. It’s like… sacred.
  • Expect him to show up randomly sometimes at your window in a burst of smoke or sometime, knocking on the glass with a big dumb grin. If you tell him to stop it and use the door like a normal person, expect Delsin to show up at the window a lot more.
  • He still defaces public property like mad and now you’ll see a lot of like graffiti that relates to you in areas you frequent. Like there might be some suspicious graffiti on a wall you pass of a silhouette of two people holding hands and they really very suspiciously look like the two of you. God, what a D O R K.
  • Speaking of, expect lots of random late night trips with Delsin to set up crazy displays of his art. You learn a few things about how your boyfriend does his thing and when you first start you totally make a mess (paint all over your hands and clothes, oh god). The best part of those evenings is the end though, when Delsin takes you to high up places to look over the city. It’s really nice. Lots of smooching may be involved.
  • Expect lots of calls and messages from Betty and Reggie. Look, Delsin gets into a lot of trouble and while being with you has calmed him down a bit, they’re still worried. They’re family after all. It’s fun to visit Betty on the reservation and she’s so much fun to talk to because she’s got loads of anecdotes about both Delsin and Reggie. The woman is a total riot. Reggie likes to look after you and is constantly reminding you that if you ever need help or if you’re in trouble you can call him and he’ll come running. You suppose it’s good to have a police officer as a friend!
  • There are moments when Delsin’s self esteem slips and he feels like some dumb punk with no future which totally isn’t true. During these times, he’ll seek you out, usually in your home and he’ll just curl up in your arms and want some silent support. He’ll bounce back, just give him some time. Don’t worry too much that he doesn’t want to talk to you, the fact that he’s gone to you and staying quietly in one spot instead of wrecking face somewhere is a good thing.
  • Awful jokes.
    “Guess what?”
    “You want the D.”
    Ohhhhh my god.” you do.

peepers is so expressive and just. sylvia. is so done. i just. i cant. 

heres some more.. 

look at him.. puffing his smol chest out

(click for captions yo)

Friday Night

A/N: From an AU prompt on Tumblr. “you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au

Altered just a little bit(because I can’t see Levy taking a guy home the same night she meets him). 

A/N 1-12-17: SO! Tumblr did in fact eat this post when I tried to edit it a few days ago! So this is a REPOST, many of you will have already seen this, just a heads up!  Sorry for that!!

“Come on, just hang out for a lil. I don’t bite,” the glassy-eyed male slurred to her, leaning precariously on his stool.

The blunette wrinkled her nose at the stench of gin. “No, thank you, I was just leaving actually,” she feigned a polite, stiff smile at the persistent drunk on the stool next to her and crossed her legs, angling her shoulder towards him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could I request some "A loves B, B is naive and innocent and doesn't understand" prompts?

1. “You hate Mondays so every Monday I slip an anonymous love letter in your bag and your smile gets me through the week” 

2. “I have been flirting with you since I met you but you think I’m just teasing and I don’t know how to make it clear that I actually mean what I say”

3. “I’m a musician and I play you all of the love songs I write to “get your opinion” on them but honestly I’m just serenading you and I thought that was obvious?!”

4. “You keep trying to set me up with other people so I think you aren’t interested in me but actually you’re just an idiot who thinks you’ll get over me faster if I’m dating someone else and HOLD UP I wanna date you.” 

5. “You asked who I had a crush on and so I described you to a tee but apparently you’re the most oblivious person in the world because you just got kinda sad and nodded and HOW DO YOU NOT GET THIS.”

6. “I’ve been in love with you since sixth grade and it’s graduation day so I worked up the courage to tell you and now you’re staring at me blankly because you thought I hated you??? How did you think that- oh okay now we’re kissing we’ll talk about this later.” 

7. “I compliment your outfit every time I see you and you think I’m just really into fashion but no I’m just in love with you.” 

8. “So I gave you flowers on Valentine’s Day and you acted really flustered and confused so now I’m sitting here regretting all life decisions until you show up asking, “I mean thank you but aren’t you dating _____?” and oh my gosh u idiot ______ is my cousin.” 

9. “Someone was being a jerk to you and I punched them in the face and now you’re yelling at me because you don’t understand why I felt the need to be so violent.” 

10. “I thought this was a date so i tried to hold your hand and now you’re really confused and I’m trying to brush it off.” 

Hey Carolina (Your Life Was Oh So Shitty) (Full)
Hey Carolina (Your Life Was Oh So Shitty) (Full)

Hey Carolina

lyrics by the lovely darkwater-smidge (though i did change a line or two to make it flow better) so enjoy my crap voice i guess lol cries about freelancers

anonymous asked:

Eeeem may i request headcanon RFA where MC feel insecure about her tummy and freckles please?

A/N: wow I didn’t know the anons could describe me (ʘᗩʘ’) BUT NO, FOR REAL, ANON, OR ANYONE READING THIS, as an insecure girl with a tummy and freckles, lemme tell you, you AREN’T ALONE, AND I LOVE YOU. If you aren’t feeling well about yourself you can always feel free to message the page and talk to me (or mod 626), we’ll always listen and try to help you!! You’re all so beautiful and deserve all of the love in the world ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ~Mod 404

Also, wow this was hard because the bottom line is???? They’ll all love you for who you are??? I really don’t think any of them care about looks my dudes <3


           -He doesn’t understand why you’re upset?

           -He doesn’t care about your looks, you’re still the cutest human being in the universe to him, inside and out

           -He may not understand why you think badly about your tummy, but you can bet he’ll always cuddle you close when he notices you’re insecure

           -He’ll always kiss it in hopes that you’ll love it just as much as he does!

           -He can spend hours counting the freckles strung across your nose

           -Every time you make him lose count, he’ll kiss your nose and pout

           -Literally hides all the mirrors in the house if he sees you cry even once

           -Cried solely because you did

           -Likes to put little star stickers on your freckles

           -“MC! MC! Your freckles have me star-struck!!”

           -Stop hanging out with Saeyoung

           -Looks so proud of his pick-up line that you can’t help but smile and giggle

           -S U C C E S S



           -I think everyone in the fandom has just accepted that he’s into body worship

               -The moment you even seem slightly insecure of your tummy


               -MC, can I punch insecurities in the face?

               -No, Zenny, you cannot

               -He’s seen all different types of people with all different body types, and all different (cute) quirks about them

               -He has no preference, he loves everyone for what’s on the inside!


               -If he catches you judging yourself in the mirror, he’ll hug you from behind and kiss the side of your head while slowly walking you away from it

               -Reminds you constantly how much he loves your body when you two are intimate y'all know what I mean, wink wonk, lenny face

               -Always gripping your sides, and tries to kiss each and every freckle he can find on your body

               -You can interpret if that’s sexual or not, have fun my dudes


               -She can’t get any work done because she’s always zoning out on your freckles

               -She’s just fascinated, don’t take it the wrong way!!

               -She really likes them

               -It makes you completely unique!!!

               -No one in the world can have the same exact set of freckles as you, and she thinks that makes you 1000x more beautiful

               -Though she already thought you were the most beautiful thing in the universe


               -She realizes that you’re a thicker woman, but doesn’t care??

               -You’re sweet, caring, and patient, she doesn’t care if you’ve got a tummy

               -Besides, when you two are laying on the couch, your tummy makes a great pillow!

               -Snuggles against your tummy and immediately gets a warm, homey feeling

               -If she catches you when you’re upset, she’ll make you some coffee, hold you close and listen to you rant about it

               -Afterwards she’ll tell everything she loves about you

               -Which is all the things you said you disliked but hearing her say it back to you is just so sweet


               -Just like everyone else, he doesn’t get why you’re insecure about it

               -You helped him come out of his shell and manage his emotions, he loves you for your personality

               -Why do you care what you look like??? He doesn’t

               -He always has all of your clothes tailored to flatter your body in hopes that you’ll feel more confident about yourself

               -Though you two are still trying to work on his empathy skills, he’s still very sensitive to your emotions

               -He can just tell when you’re upset! So he’ll drop whatever he’s working on just to listen to you!

               -Once you’re done talking about what makes you feel bad about yourself, he takes you to the bedroom to show you just how much he loves your body oh shit waddup

               -If you aren’t up for being intimate, he’ll just sit across from you and softly poke every freckle he sees until you can’t take the tickling sensation any more

               -Always brings Elizabeth the Third to you when you’re upset

               -She cuddles into you, and loves the warmth you radiate!! She loves you no matter what!!!

               -Elly loves you no matter what? THAT MEANS JUMIN LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!


               -He’s insecure too, but no, yoU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE!


               -Listen,,,, bitch,,,,, don’t be hypocritical

               -He gets SO sad when you’re upset!

               -Wraps the two of you up in ridiculously huge blankets like a burrito so you can’t escape the cuddles

               -You listen and help him through his insecurities, so of course he’ll do the same for you!

               -Constant forehead kisses while you rant about your body to him

               -Like, literally, it’s almost as if his lips are glued to your forehead

               -Constant tummy tickles because he just can’t keep his hands off

               -So what if you’ve got a tummy, that’s just more of you to cudDLE!!

               -FURIOUS CUDDLING

               -Likes to look for constellations in your freckles just like he does with the stars

               -Slowly leans closer and closer to your face when looking at your freckles just to watch you blush

               -Always goes in for a soft, loving kiss

               -He’ll tell you just how thankful he is that you’re in his life, and just how much he loves you for who you are, inside and out

V and Saeran weren’t asked for but…I just…can’t…. bring myself to leave them out thESE ARE MY SUNSHINES MY ONLY SUNSHINES


               -Beautiful ray of sunshine literally pouts when you’re insecure

               -Always taking pictures of you because he thinks you’re so beautiful!

               -The camera can’t catch all of your beauty and it upsets him!!!!!!

               -Holds your face and brushes his thumb over your freckles a lot right before he kisses you

               -He literally made a scrapbook of all his favourite pictures of you

               -It’s every picture of you he’s ever seen/taken, this book is huge, how does he hide it wtf

               -When you’re upset, he pulls out the book!

               -Spends hours with you looking at the pictures, pointing out every little detail of each one

               -Because he loves them all!!!!

               -Seeing pictures of your body would usually make you feel more insecure, but when you see how well these were taken, and hear how much love is laced in his voice when he describes them

               -How could you feel bad??

               -So many close up pictures as well as full body ones

               -Seeing how the lighting in different pictures illuminates your freckles

               -Well damn, these are fan-fucking-tastic

               -He’ll sit you on his lap, looking at the book until you’re no longer upset, or until you fall asleep, whichever comes first


               -Like Jumin, you’ve helped him through so much, he loves you for your personality not what you look like

               -Even though he loves you for your personality, he still thinks you’re very attractive

               -There more of you to cuddle!!!

               -He doesn’t admit it, but he love love loves holding you close, because you’re so warm and soft

               -And let’s be honest here, he’s not used to that in his life i’m sorRY

               -When he see’s you upset over your tummy, he pouts and picks you up, carrying you to the bed

               -Will cuddle and keep you in bed for D A Y S if you’re still upset

               -Holds you completely against him, tightly so you can’t get away

               -“We’re gonna stay here until you stop thinking badly about yourself. That’s it.”

               -Loves staring at your freckles!

               -Always trying to memorize each one, so he spends hours staring

               -Also will very blatantly check you out constantly

               -If you catch him, he doesn’t look away, if anything he does it more


               -Especially enjoys watching how flustered you get when he’s staring at you


thank you so much!! <3 <3 :D
i think ford would like the fact, that there’s at least one competent version of himself somewhere in the multiverse XD idk, i’d just love the concept that ford isn’t exactly repulsed or afraid of his counterpart, but rather sees a possible future for himself in him and kind of pities/respects rev!ford because of that ;~; (that is, until rev!ford threatens/hurts rev!bill, then ford would most definitely punch this guy in the face ;u;)

the rev!ford design is by @obsidianchameleon, i just had to draw it again, i love the fur coat and cape so much ;u;