because i will punch u in the face

if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you

7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS

i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)

6

He was a boy, he was a boy, can I make it any more obvious? 

AU where Derek and Stiles have the classic, cheesy high school romance and are boyfriends forever and ever the end (。≖‿≖。✿)

Who Should You Fight: Ezra Miller Edition

Kevin: do it. fight the little fucker. he’s a scrawny, megalomaniacal dickface, it’ll be easy. punch him right in the face, his family will thank you. (just make sure he can’t get his hands on a bow and some arrows because your chances of winning decrease dramatically in that event) 10/10

Elliot: 100% go for it. destroy this whiny mofo. u could blow on him and knock him over, he doesn’t stand a chance. 8/10

Patrick: I mean, you could fight Patrick. you’d probably win, too. but why would you he’s beautiful and gay and very sad. also Charlie will probably beat your ass. 0/10 would not recommend.

Daniel: this hippie probably weighs 15 whole pounds soaking wet, and he has sideburns. yeah, you could fight him, but consider this- hasn’t he suffered enough? 2/10 just leave him alone with his tears.

Leon Dupuis: sure, he’s distractingly pretty, but his name is Leon. 9/10 fight him.

Credence Barebone: there are 2 reasons why fighting this tiny child will be the worst mistake of ur life. reason #1 he’ll cry probably, and then you’ll feel like a monster, and reason #2 he can literally destroy you. -1000/10 do not fight this precious boy.

Barry Allen: 10/10 FIGHT THIS NERD!!!! you won’t win, he’s very fast, but fight him anyway.

anonymous asked:

someone is getting married. that someone is dragged to a strip club for their bachelor party by the rest of the RFA+V+Saeran. just how much of a hot mess would this nightmare be?

A/N: Can y’all imagine though, can y’all imAGINE I WANNA SEE THEM IN A STRIP CLUB LMAO~Admin 404

Not even gonna lie i’m the person who says “nooo it’s embarrassing” but take me there and i’d be stuffing dollar bills down thongs like no tomorrow ~ Admin 626

*YOOSUNG:

-is he even alLOWED IN HERE

-OH MY GOD THERE’S SO MANY HALF NAKED PEOPLE IN HERE I DON’T WANNA BE HERE

-MC’S GONNA KILL ME

-He’s a blushing mess the whole time, he can’t even look anywhere

-Seriously, he covers his eyes every time someone walks by because??? They’re half naKED

-HE EVEN TEXTS YOU AND APOLOGIZES??? LIKE???

-Text: “MC, they dragged me here I swear I’m not looking at anYONE I’M NOT LOOKING, I’M NOT TOUCHING, NOTHING” Response: “yoosung wtf”

-Saeyoung tried to get him a private dance and he literally screeched and ran away

-HE IS DEVOUTED TO HIS MC!!!!!! WILL NOT LET SOMEONE ELSE DANCE ALL OVER HIM LIKE THAT!!!

-Overall he did not like it. He was so nervous, and could not enjoy himself. Blew up MC’s phone telling them how much he loves them, stood outside or hid in the bathroom a lot of the time as well

*JUMIN:

-He literally has no interest

-He had no sexual interest in people before anyways

-Well at least not any interest large enough to act upon

-He loves you for who you are, not your body

-That being said, he kind of just sat there all night with an uninterested stare

-He felt a little awkward every time he saw a fellow business man (especially ones he knew or has done business with)

- “a lot of these men are married why are they throwing money at these half naked people”

-Zen kept telling him that he was killing the vibe at his own bachelor party and he just shrugged

-He was so bored the entire time, he absolutely hated it

-Silently judged everyone in the room just to pass the time, also tried to secretly text you until the others noticed and took his phone

*SAEYOUNG:

-He didn’t care about the strippers

-He danced along to almost every song that came on

-BOY HE WAS ABOUT TO PARTY

-FREE DRINKS, HE’S DOWN

-Wasn’t about having the strippers dance up on him though

- pls i am a child of god do not do this

- i am devout to my MC, they are the love of my life get away from me with your sIN

-When his song came on you can bet your sweet ass he jumped up on the stage

-Seriously he was workin’ it. Strippin’ it. Putting his thing down, flipping and reversing it.

-Saeran had to drag him off of the stage before he could do anything else, but Zen had already recorded it and sent it to MC, who in turn, laughed their asses off and refused to let it go for years

*SAERAN:

-He does not like other people

-Let alone strange, mostly naked people

-DoN’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM

-Absolutely hates it there and wants nothing more than to go home

-He misses his precious MC ;A;

-It took A LOT to get him where he is in the relationship he has with you

-He wouldn’t do anything to mess it up

-Not to mention, he has literally NO interest in anyone else but you??

-Saeyoung tried to get him to get a personal dance but that idea was shot down fairly quickly when he was almost punched in the face

-He actually spent most of the time just sitting there. Most people wouldn’t come near him because Death Glare™. Did not enjoy himself, not at all

*ZEN

- lmAO R U KIDDING

- THIS BOY DOESN’T REALLY CARE ABOUT THE STRIPPERS

- like yeah they got nice bodies??? But u know who has a nicer body???

- THIS GUY

- HE STRIPS INSTEAD??? I DONT THINK THIS IS HOW BACHELOR PARTIES WORK   ZEN

- ofc he doesn’t dance up on anyone, he’s a saint, he loves MC

- RECORDS HIMSELF AND SENDS IT TO MC BC HIS STRIPPING IS A MASTERPIECE

- He and saeyoung bECOME A STRIPPING DUO, A DREAM COME TRUE FOR THE BOTH OF THEM

*JAEHEE

- B L U S H I N G

- SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

- SHE DOESN’T LIKE THIS AND SHE’S SO EMBARRASSED

- she just DOWNS drinks to get through the night, she wants to be supportive

- she drunk texts u a lot

- “hey,,, hey MC,,, are u a whistle cause i want to blow u,,,”

- “There will be only seven planets remaining after i destroy ur anus,,,”

- “if u were a potato,,, I’d mash the hell out of you,,,”

- MC screenshots everything and sends it to the group chat

- Jaehee looks at some of the strippers for candidates for a possible threesome ;;))))

*V

- this sweet, innocent boy doesn’t know what to do

- he wants to support his friends but???

- he’s not really someone who gets drunk and he’s definitely not for watching strippers

- so what does he do???

- he imagines ur the one stripping instead

- like he’s seriously just staring at a wall pretending ur there

- at some point though, saeyoung manages to drag V up on stage??

- aND HE’S SO AWKWARD

- HE JUST STANDS THERE WHILE SAEYOUNG DANCES UP ON HIM TRYING TO ENCOURAGE HIS INNER STRIPPER TO COME OUT

- HE ALMOST CRIES HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

- he just follows along with saeyoung???

- everyone seems to be loving it so he must be doing something right???

- he ends up loving it

- considers stripping as a career

- then he decided that you’re the only person he strips for me ;;))

4 | No Escape

Genre: Apocolypse AU / Fluff / Angst / Future Smut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1,863

Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies and blood, gory, mentions of rape

“What are you going to do? Shoot me with that gun? Little man, If you would look around, I think I out numbered you by maybe fifteen people.”

Masterlist ♥︎

Ask/Request

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

A/n: Sorry this part is so short, its sort of just a fill in chapter

Keep reading

there’s so many foxes-playing-never-have-i-ever au headcanons going around but i give you this

  • super late post game stoli rasberry vodka shots
  • okay that’s one of my favorites but whatevs we’ll use it
  • andrew only drinks jack daniels
  • because he’s p r e t e n t i o u s
  • i hate jack
  • the freshman and the whiskey
  • and it’s so easy to make andrew drink and he hates them all so much because never have i ever killed someone? never have i ever been to juvie? never have i ever punched through a window?
  • these assholes play by targeting and tonight andrew’s the one getting targeted and he’s furious but neil’s laughing so whatever it’s fine
  • even the casual ones; never have i ever given a blowjob or never have i ever punched someone in the face ((everyone drinks))
  • but there’s one that nobody’s said yet because half the team can’t say it
  • they’re all thinking it but they’re all guilty of doing the same
  • finally when it’s renee’s turn allison whispers something into her ear. renee laughs (she has a laugh like windchimes)
  • “okay. never have i ever thought about kissing neil.”
  • there’s a brief pause, then;
  • andrew drinks
  • nicky drinks with the most guilty look on his face
  • allison drinks
  • matt and dan link their arms and take their shots together, laughing at an inside joke that no one wants to ask about
  • kevin lifts his glass halfway to his mouth, sighs, and takes the shot
  • neil watches this absolutely confounded
  • aaron looks a little sick
  • renee has the most smug grin on her face and it matches allison who was the real mastermind behind this one
  • “what the fuck.” neil says
  • aaron mimics it and reaches for the full bottle of vodka praying he won’t remember that in the morning

i will never understand bts antis, and how much hatred they have for the boys. and another thing i’ll never understand is where they got all that hatred from? unless bts have actually punched u in the face, and stolen ur bike, why do u hate them to the point where you threaten their safety? and if u don’t like them, that’s fine. but if ur going to threatned their saftey, start rumors, treat them like trash, then reconsider ur entire being because ur pathetic.

sleptinlastnightsclothes  asked:

tfw ur instructor has ur class spar and u face two guys back to back who punch u directly in the boob like cmon guys we're train to aim for the center of the body not the right tit

I’m so sorry if this message has been sitting in the inbox forever; I’ve been running this blog from mobile and it doesn’t give notifications. 

But yes, THIS. I think every female martial artist with boobs has had this happen at least once. Even other girls are guilty of this, too, because let’s face it, when it comes to combat these “things” get in the way. Sports bras can bind and hold them down, but that doesn’t make breasts any less sensitive. Unfortunately a lot of people think chest = solar plexus, and us women are on the losing end of that one.

In my art when we spar we don’t wear any protection over the chest, so it’s open season during matches, ugh. 

First Kiss (Johnny Scenario)

You wake up to the ringing of your phone. Picking it up you smile as you read the caller id.


“Hello?” You answer trying not to sound as if you barley woke up but miserably failing since your croaky voice made it evident.


“Please tell me that you are not just barley waking up?!“


“No.” You lyingly say.


“Are you sure about that?” He says with a hint of amusement in his voice.


“Yes Johnny, I’m sure. Now what’s up?” You respond slightly annoyed.


Johnny was/is the closest friend that you have. You guys kept in contact everyday and he was one of the few people you would hang out with frequently. But even though he was like your best friend he did get annoying sometimes but you still loved him mainly because you had a crush on him that nobody but you knew and you were planning to keep it that way.


You were too scared to face the fact that if your feelings were to come out he would not feel the same. That’s why it was better for you to keep it inside. But honestly, the more you talked and hanged out with him the more your feelings grew.


“I was wondering if you wanted to go watch a movie or something?”


You sit in silence trying to keep the sound of excitement from escaping your mouth.


“Hello? Planet earth to (y/n).”


“Oh yeah sure.” You manage to say.


“Okay cool, I will pick you up at your house at six? Does that sound good?“


“Yes sounds good.” You say as a smile began to form on your face.


You finish saying goodbye and hang up. Looking at the time you see that you still have alot of time to spare before Johnny picks you up so being the lazy bum that you are you crawl back into bed and fall back to sleep.

.~.~.


You were awaken by the sound of a message. Lazily grabbing your phone you see that it was message from Johnny.


“On my way…I’ll be there in 10 min.”


Shit- You immediately climb out of bed and head to the bathroom. Noticing your bed hair as you look into the mirror you quickly began to comb it out. Once done, you begin applying a quick layer of makeup. With one last glance in the mirror you head out towards your closet. You were not in the mood to wear jeans so you decided to not wear any. You looked down at yourself and noticed that you were just wearing an oversized pink t-shirt from last night so you decided to leave it on and just throw on a denim jacket.


The sound of your phone going off startled you, making your way to answer you see that it was Johnny. He’s already here- You thought as you put on your white shoes. Without answering you made your way to the full length mirror to have one last look at yourself and made sure everything looked put together and decent. You notice that some baby hairs were sticking out on top of your head so you grab your white hat to cover them. Your phone rang once more as you grabbed your bag and started to head out. Once you made it outside you saw Johnny sitting in his car with his phone to his ear. As he noticed you coming he put his phone down and smiled.

“Took you long enough. I was already planning to leave you here and go by myself.” He says as you climb in and close the door.


“Oh please you would be bored out of your mind without me.”


He pushes your hat off your head as he childishly mocks you.


“Aiish Johnny!” You say annoyed as he drives off.


~·~·~·

“Did you like the movie?”

You were looking out the window and too caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t noticed that Johnny asked you a question.


“ Y/n?” He asks turning to look at you shaking you from your thoughts.


You turn to look at him and you see a confused face looking back at you.


“Are you okay?”


“Yes I am.” You say nodding your head repeatedly.


Truth was, you were not. The same confused look that Johnny had on his face a minute ago reflected how you felt on the inside.


During the movie Johnny was acting weird compared to all the other times that you guys were together. An incident occurred that made your heart skip a beat and confused at the same time.

While watching the movie Johnny placed his hand on yours. You thought it had had been accidently since he was getting too into the movie, but after a while his hand still remained on top of yours. He intertwined his fingers with yours and began caressing the top of your thumb with his.

This lasted short because you were beginning to get all sweaty and nervous. You quickly removed your hand from his before he felt the sweat that was forming due to your nervousness.

Johnny took notice of your action but acted like nothing happened and continued to pretend to watch the movie.


The sudden stop of the vehicle broke you from your thoughts once more. You shake your thoughts away as you turned to Johnny and slightly smiled.


“You’re back home.” He said as he returned the smile.


You nod and as you unbuckle yourself. Johnny gets down and heads to open the car door for you. You stare in awe, shocked at what was happening before your eyes. Johnny was never this attentive towards you which made you really confused on why all the sudden changes now.


As you climb out the car, Johnny closes the door and begins walking closely behind as you made your way to your house door.


Slowly turning around to tell him thank you he interrupts you.


“Before you say anything about what happened tonight I want to clear things out for you so you won’t be confused anymore.”


“Johnny, I-”


“I like you, y/n.” He says as he stares straight at you with blushing cheeks.


You stand in silence trying to process what has been told to you. Your heart beginning to race as you felt like you were on cloud 9.


“What?” Was that all that managed to come out of your mouth.


“I have fallen for my best friend. I just couldn’t help it, the more I tried to avoid this the stronger it became. I just love how I can be myself around you and feel very comfortable while being with you.” He says as he starts getting closer and closer to you. You were now inches away from each other. He stared down at you with his beautiful brown eyes as you admired the rest of his beautiful face features.


He begins coming closer, lips so close that with just one small swift move they would become one. He stares at your lips and then at your eyes as if looking for approval to move forward.

You stare at his soft lips and without hesitation you slowly connect your lips to his. His lips were soft and delicate as yours molded with his. He slowly cups your face as the kiss got more intimate. It was slow yet affective, since now you felt all types of feelings in your body. He breaks the kiss very slowly as he looks down at you and smiles.


“So I guess you feel the same way?” He says.


“Yes, I like you too Johnny and a lot!” You say as a huge grin appeared on his face.

He hugs you tightly as you nuzzle your face on his chest. Hearing the loud thumping of his heart you smiled to yourself.


“So, now I guess since there will be more kissing between us, you should get a stool or something to step on because I feel like I’m going to end up with a broken neck after all this bending down to kiss you.” He says as he pulls away from the hug.


“Omg Johnny!” You say as your roll your eyes and lightly punch him on his chest.

He lets out a laugh as he takes you back into his arms. He grabs your chin so you can face him and he lightly kisses you.


“Or I will just deal with it because I love you so much.”

camp nano day 14

14,380 / 30,000 I’m almost halfway there I’m so close

today I continued from exactly where I left off yesterday, so uh. angst and isolation and suffering oh my

here’s what’s what in AYFTB shenanigans

  • I’m getting into the swing of writing horrifying unrealities so that’s fun. no one else is having fun in these scenes but I sure am. tons of fun. funreality. gravity convulses. the pavement stops being a colour and starts being a sound. sometimes time isn’t there
  • you can still be a cool action hero and do cool action hero things while you’re crying the whole time. tris has been crying for the past three pages
  • that godforsaken ceiling fan is about to make another appearance bless
  • “He wasn’t putting all his faith into sheer chance, he realised. Goddamn it, he was putting all his faith into himself. And that was infinitely more terrifying.”
  • after this bit Tris and Kai finally get to reunite tho and everything is a little less awful because I mean?? it’s all p messed up stuff to have to deal with on your own, at least now they can join forces and unlock Maximum Powers Of Friendship. also both of them are about ten levels of Absolutely Fucking Done with the universe’s bullshit and a little bit dead inside

tomorrow I will jump to a scene that is happening elsewhere, as Noa and Alice transcend the human restraints of time itself and experience all possible futures in the same instant

as a general rule this version of the book doesn’t make a lot of sense

shoutout to “Transatlanticism” by Death Cab For Cutie because it just came on shuffle and because I like that song a lot

I’ll keep writing just so I can keep shoving my music choices at you

watch me

au ideas
  • “you’re my roommate and the only one on campus who isn’t planning on going home for christmas bc you have family troubles but my mom wouldn’t mind if u stayed with us for christmas so u won’t be alone” au
  • “i only realized i was in love with u after u died and like 3 yrs later u come back as a fuckin angel or some shit and oh god you’re even cuter than i remember and i missed you like hell pls marry me” au
  • “i’m paranoid as hell and i think my house is haunted so i called over a paranormal investigator and oh no you’re really hot?? also it looks like my house really is haunted and its serious so i guess we’re gonna have to spend more time together until we figure out how to deal with this” au
  • “we live together and you have to film something for a project and the subject ur assigned is horror so u drag me to a haunted forest bc you want ur film to be THE BEST but it turns out there really is something lurking in the forest and we’re both terrified as hell and can’t find our way out” au
  • “i woke up in our dorm room in the dead of the night and u weren’t there and when u didn’t come back i got super worried so i wandered around campus until i found u shivering in the bleachers, and u looked really upset so i gave u my jacket and stayed out there with u for an hour until u finally told me what was wrong” au
  • “i have an awful fear of fireworks so on the fourth of july we stay in our dorm room while u strum ur guitar and try everything u can to calm me down” au
  • “you’re having a nightmare and i feel bad because you’re trembling and crying so i crawl into bed with u and hold u so u feel safe, but in the morning u wake up with my arms wrapped around u you’re really confused and embarrassed” au
  • “i’m a siren and you’re a pirate but i decide not to kill u because you’re actually really really REALLY cute oh shit” au
  • “you’re blind and at the airport and you’re really stressed out, hey it turns out we have the same flight, how about u just hold my hand and i can be your eyes, mostly because i feel bad but also because you’re super cute” au
  • “u walked in on me while i was playing a horror game and i screamed out of sheer terror bc i thought u were a monster coming to steal my soul and now ur laughing and i would be mad but your laugh is really, really cute” au
  • “you kissed me in an attempt to steal my wallet but i know all the tricks haha sucks for u, let’s get coffee sometime and i can teach you some goddamn manners” au
  • “i have to kiss u for spin the bottle/truth or dare and it turns out you’re an amazing kisser and now i’m hella attracted to u, wanna get dinner sometime? maybe make out a bit?” au
  • “you’re a lesser-known artist and i’m hanging out at a small art studio in the city and you catch me staring in awe at your work” au
  • “you’re my patient and i’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you but it’s hard to do that when you’re flirting with me, seriously dude i’m not gonna be able to diagnose you as easily when you’re telling me how my labcoat complements my eyes jfc” au
  • “you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au
  • “we’re stuck in a convenience store because there’s a huge-ass storm and you’re freaking the fuck out because you’re terrified so i guess since i’m your best friend i’ll just sit with you in this aisle and sing to you to try and calm you down” au
  • “i literally took a bullet for you and now you owe me big time” au
  • “we’re at a mutual friend’s wedding on a ferry so after the initial wedding we’re stuck at the afterparty until we get back to shore, and since we both despise huge crowds we just sorta hang around each other and one thing leads to another and we wake up in the same bed” au

anonymous asked:

I actually choose to have a best friend relationship w/characters or people instead of a romantic relationship (I'm aromantic btw 😅). So, could you please do like... a 'being best friends with' kind of request every now and then? If so, I would like to request a being best friends w/Yuri Plisetsky, plz. Thanks and I love your work! I agree with the anon who said you should start a writing blog. I'd love to see your writing expand. - Aromantic cinnamon bun anon 👤

When I saw this in my inbox, I completely flipped. I love reading best friend headcanons and I’ve always wanted to write one so I got super excited to answer it!! Though, I’ve never written one so bear with me. And thanks for the feedback on the writing blog thing! It means a lot.


Alright, here we go.



- Best friends w/Yuri Plisetsky -

  • Cats
  • So many cats
  • “He is beauty, he is grace~”
  • “He will punch you in the face!”
  • “Rude.”
  • C O N F U S I O N
  • Much anger, very frightening
  • Awkward coffee dates where people coo at you two and ask if you’re a couple
  • Having to stop him from yelling at said people
  • Shipping him with Otabek
  • “I told you to stop shipping us!”
  • “But why?”
  • 😷
  • Scaring the living daylights out of him every know and then for a good laugh
  • shoOK RUSSIAN KITTEN
  • Anxiety without your constant support
  • “We’ll be alright, its only a few weeks for competition.”
  • “Yeah, but who’s gonna make fun of people with me?”
  • “No one, because that activity is for us only.”
  • “Idiot”
  • Being taller than him
  • And oh, how he hates being shorter
  • “Does Katsuki Yuri is gay?”
  • “101% sure he is.”
  • Pranks
  • “Why are we here?”
  • “Because your wardrobe actually came straight out of 1985 and to be my best friend, you can’t just dress like that.”
  • “I’m taking offense to that. My clothes look amazing.”
  • “Your clothes look amazing in the trash, just like you.”
  • “Rude.”
  • Forcing him to wear cat ears for the sake of your Tumblr
  • Him hating you for it later
  • Especially when the photo gets spread all over social media
  • He refuses to talk to you for a week
  • It sucks.
  • Giving him a cute name on your phone to tease him with
  • Emoji usage
  • All the time
  • It annoys him to no end
  • “You’re cute when you’re angry.”
  • “Then I must be adorable right now.”
  • Braiding his hair for competition
  • Refusing to tell you how much he likes how you do his hair
  • Plot twist, you already know^^
  • Losing your shoes at the ice rink
  • Forcing him to help you find them
  • Never finding your shoes
  • “Someone’s butt just touched mine.”
  • “That’s me, you idiot. Move over.”
  • Movie night w/the other skaters^^
  • “You have beef jerky and you are going to give me some.”
  • “Get your own.”
  • “Rude.”
  • “Do you have food?”
  • “No.”
  • “You filthy liar.”
  • Going to America together and eating at McDonald’s
  • “Why is my Happy Meal toy missing its head?”
  • “Because you killed it.”
  • “Rude.”
  • Inside jokes
  • A N I M E
  • Going back to the rink together
  • “gUYS. I THInk I fouND MY SHoe!”
  • “Wait, no, false alarm. Its the wrong shoe.”
  • “Why are you like this?”
  • Stealing his Russia jacket
  • Hanging out at your house
  • “I’m right here, with the naughty kids.”
  • “Where do you keep your holy water because you need to repENT YOUR SINS YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!”
  • “CALM DOWN IT WAS A JOKE!”
  • “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME!”
  • Putting water in a spray bottle
  • Spraying him like a cat when he’s being mean
  • “What is even in that!?”
  • “The blood of my enemies. Hold still for your bath now, Timmy!”
  • “WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME TIMMY!?”
  • “BECAUSE I CAN, SUCK IT UP LOSER.”

Originally posted by the-uncontrollable-optimist

Originally posted by chicastrology

stupid (and not so stupid?) shantae headcanons time

  • at one point while sailing around in TPC, Risky wanted to call Shantae over for something but halfway thru her brain mixed up ‘shantae’ & ‘runt’ and she ended up yelling “SHUNT”
  • if it weren’t for Uncle Mimic, Shantae would’ve ditched Scuttle Town the second the Mayor started pulling bullshit with her pay
  • bolo would be a great relic hunter and also he needs a hug
  • Wrench is rooting for Shantae and Rottytops to hook up. he has never mentioned this because Sky would not approve and also because he cannot talk
  • if Squid Baron ever shows his face in Mermaid Falls, Giga Mermaid will punch him into the next kingdom
  • the other barons secretly make fun of Techno Baron’s tiny hands
  • there are absolutely other half-human hybrids running around Sequin Land. not half-genies, necessarily, but given that monsters are sentient enough that they have their own town (WHERE U CAN TALK TO THEM AND IN WHICH U CAN FIND HUMAN NPCS) i don’t think it’s that much of a stretch
  • Poe and Mimic both like rly old anime
  • The Mysterious Glowing Light giving Shantae advice during half-genie hero was defiintely her mom

enjoy

The Rise and Fall of Steve Uchiha

I do not remember the exact year, but it wasn’t as many years ago as one would think. I used to be in this Naruto RP forum (because Naruto RP was and probably still is freakin’ fun) that was one of those rare places that, while not exactly ideal, was still pretty damn good. Sure, the mods had some stinking ego that passed over to the IC end of things, lamentably, but they were tame and could have been leagues worse.

I was a Jounin in charge of a team of three Chuunin, and this forum had a system of subforums that was used to go on “adventures” with your team. It was pretty fun! The Jounin would basically come up with a plot for the mission and the Chuunin had to work their way through the mission, and it allowed for character development, hardships, fire-forged friendships or rivalries, perhaps even conflict (yum!), etc. It was considered extremely rude to post in an Adventure thread, as you were basically hijacking the thread. Long story short, I was going on the planned adventure with my three disciples (and I must mention that the three of them are very good writers) when, out of quite literally nowhere, he appears.

A post by a username we don’t know updates our thread, so we go check it and all we see is one line of crudely written text saying:

“where is my brother sasuke tell me and i wont kill you”

The username was steveuchiha. I was laughing already because it was quite clear that this person had no idea what he was doing, but I actually had to call the NASA base in Houston after checking his character page because my sides reached orbit instantly. thIS KID HAD THE CRUDEST CHARACTER PAGE, IT BASICALLY READ LIKE:

Name: steve uchiha
Clan: uchiha
Age: 13
Abilities: kamehameha rasengan chidori

That’s it, that was it. That was tHE WHOLE THING, JUST POSTED WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD AND WE JUST HAD TO LIKE IT.

So I can’t stop laughing like a freaking hyena when one of the Chuunin, irked OOC and infuriated IC (since his character was temperamental), tells him both OOC and IC to piss off.

Those were his famous last words because Steve Uchiha had other plans. In a tad-too-fast response, Steve writes a fULL FREAKING PARAGRAPH OF CRUDE BEATDOWNS, SOMETHING LIKE:

“i grab u and punch u in the face then i throw u into the air and i jump after you and kick u in the tummy then i put you in a special hold and slam u against a tree and then i charge up a rasengan and hit u with it in the face where is my brother sasuke”

AND SEE, BY THIS POINT, I JUST COULDN’T HOLD MY LAUGHTER ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE AS DEVOID OF FUCKS BECOME SOME SORT OF STOIC, MONOTONE WHIRLWIND OF VIOLENCE. BUT THE BEST PART IS THAT HE KEPT POSTING LIKE THAT. HE MADE AROUND SEVEN POSTS LIKE THAT, ONE AFTER THE OTHER, WITHOUT ANY REPLY FROM US IN THE MIDDLE. HE LITERALLY JUST MADE SEVEN OR EIGHT POSTS POORLY DETAILING THESE INSANE COMBO WOMBOS AND THEY ALL ENDED WITH THE LEGENDARY LINE: where is my brother sasuke

SO WE ARE ALL LAUGHING OUR TOOSHIES OFF AT THE SHEER AUDACITY AND THE MENTAL IMAGES WHEN AN ADMIN STEPS IN AND MAKES THE TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL WARNING LIKE

“User steveuchiha, this is your first warning: Your character page is insufficient, your character is not approved and you just interrupted an Adventure thread, something that is heavily against the rules. Delete your posts and fix your page or we will delete the posts for you and count it against your tally.”

This, my friends, is where any tale would have ended. It’s where a user would have thought “hey, maybe I should have read the etiquette guidelines”, this is where our homo sapiens sapiens kicks in and we stop fucking up.

But this is not any tale, this is the tale of Steve Uchiha, and he was having none of this bullshit.

So what does Steve Uchiha do?

Why, open a can of whoopass on the admin, of course.

I sWEAR IT WAS INHUMAN HOW STEVE KEPT MAKING THESE RABIDLY MONOTONE POSTS, ONE AFTER THE OTHER, POORLY WRITTEN DESCRIPTIONS IN FIRST PERSON THAT WENT AGAINST ANYTHING LOGIC OR ETIQUETTE WOULD WARN YOU AGAINST. ACCORDING TO CHARLES DARWIN, STEVE UCHIHA SHOULDN’T EXIST. HE MUST HAVE MADE ANOTHER 13 POSTS AFTER THE ADMIN, DETAILING HOW HE SHOT HIM WITH A KAMEHAMEHA AND THEN DID THE LION’S BARRAGE ON HIM AND PUT HIM IN LEE’S LOTUS PILEDRIVER, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE POST CONCLUDED WITH THE SAME KEYWORDS:

“where is my brother sasuke”

The admin gave Steve Uchiha a 2nd warning.

It was met with yet another whirlwind of combos.

A 3rd warning came and…

This is as far as I am willing to tell you. The rest of the story is better left unheard. The ending is exactly what you all predict, but I think we can all be happier thinking that, even to this day, Steve Uchiha keeps pummeling random people, ever searching for the truth, never giving up on his brother Sasuke.

Here’s one for you, Steve Uchiha. May you find your brother Sasuke.

The best part? There was no Sasuke. This was an AU Naruto setting.

anonymous asked:

My dude if u ever have the time, I would appreciate Delsin Rowe Dating headcanons

[WHEEZES] HhhhhHHHHH MY FRIEND I HAVE GOT THIS I AM MAKING TIME FOR THIS. LOOK AT ME [SLAMS FIST ON THE TABLE] I AM HERE FOR YOU. I GOT THIS

Originally posted by chunli

  • This mf is fly as fuck with you and it’s awful because he knows it. Every time he manages to impress you with anything he does, he gets this like smug grin on his face that’s really cute, but also really infuriating. You just want to punch him in the face or kiss him for it. It’s usually the latter.
  • If its cold he’ll let you wear his beanie. I hope you feel special because he never lets anyone touch his beanie. It’s like… sacred.
  • Expect him to show up randomly sometimes at your window in a burst of smoke or sometime, knocking on the glass with a big dumb grin. If you tell him to stop it and use the door like a normal person, expect Delsin to show up at the window a lot more.
  • He still defaces public property like mad and now you’ll see a lot of like graffiti that relates to you in areas you frequent. Like there might be some suspicious graffiti on a wall you pass of a silhouette of two people holding hands and they really very suspiciously look like the two of you. God, what a D O R K.
  • Speaking of, expect lots of random late night trips with Delsin to set up crazy displays of his art. You learn a few things about how your boyfriend does his thing and when you first start you totally make a mess (paint all over your hands and clothes, oh god). The best part of those evenings is the end though, when Delsin takes you to high up places to look over the city. It’s really nice. Lots of smooching may be involved.
  • Expect lots of calls and messages from Betty and Reggie. Look, Delsin gets into a lot of trouble and while being with you has calmed him down a bit, they’re still worried. They’re family after all. It’s fun to visit Betty on the reservation and she’s so much fun to talk to because she’s got loads of anecdotes about both Delsin and Reggie. The woman is a total riot. Reggie likes to look after you and is constantly reminding you that if you ever need help or if you’re in trouble you can call him and he’ll come running. You suppose it’s good to have a police officer as a friend!
  • There are moments when Delsin’s self esteem slips and he feels like some dumb punk with no future which totally isn’t true. During these times, he’ll seek you out, usually in your home and he’ll just curl up in your arms and want some silent support. He’ll bounce back, just give him some time. Don’t worry too much that he doesn’t want to talk to you, the fact that he’s gone to you and staying quietly in one spot instead of wrecking face somewhere is a good thing.
  • Awful jokes.
    “Guess what?”
    “What?”
    “You want the D.”
    Ohhhhh my god.” you do.
10

peepers is so expressive and just. sylvia. is so done. i just. i cant. 

heres some more.. 

look at him.. puffing his smol chest out

(click for captions yo)

Friday Night

A/N: From an AU prompt on Tumblr. “you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au

Altered just a little bit(because I can’t see Levy taking a guy home the same night she meets him). 

A/N 1-12-17: SO! Tumblr did in fact eat this post when I tried to edit it a few days ago! So this is a REPOST, many of you will have already seen this, just a heads up!  Sorry for that!!


“Come on, just hang out for a lil. I don’t bite,” the glassy-eyed male slurred to her, leaning precariously on his stool.

The blunette wrinkled her nose at the stench of gin. “No, thank you, I was just leaving actually,” she feigned a polite, stiff smile at the persistent drunk on the stool next to her and crossed her legs, angling her shoulder towards him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could I request some "A loves B, B is naive and innocent and doesn't understand" prompts?

1. “You hate Mondays so every Monday I slip an anonymous love letter in your bag and your smile gets me through the week” 

2. “I have been flirting with you since I met you but you think I’m just teasing and I don’t know how to make it clear that I actually mean what I say”

3. “I’m a musician and I play you all of the love songs I write to “get your opinion” on them but honestly I’m just serenading you and I thought that was obvious?!”

4. “You keep trying to set me up with other people so I think you aren’t interested in me but actually you’re just an idiot who thinks you’ll get over me faster if I’m dating someone else and HOLD UP I wanna date you.” 

5. “You asked who I had a crush on and so I described you to a tee but apparently you’re the most oblivious person in the world because you just got kinda sad and nodded and HOW DO YOU NOT GET THIS.”

6. “I’ve been in love with you since sixth grade and it’s graduation day so I worked up the courage to tell you and now you’re staring at me blankly because you thought I hated you??? How did you think that- oh okay now we’re kissing we’ll talk about this later.” 

7. “I compliment your outfit every time I see you and you think I’m just really into fashion but no I’m just in love with you.” 

8. “So I gave you flowers on Valentine’s Day and you acted really flustered and confused so now I’m sitting here regretting all life decisions until you show up asking, “I mean thank you but aren’t you dating _____?” and oh my gosh u idiot ______ is my cousin.” 

9. “Someone was being a jerk to you and I punched them in the face and now you’re yelling at me because you don’t understand why I felt the need to be so violent.” 

10. “I thought this was a date so i tried to hold your hand and now you’re really confused and I’m trying to brush it off.”