because i want to be amy poehler

Amy Poehler YouTube Masterlist

If anyone is ever feeling lonely and wants to spend some quality time with Amy Poehler, or if you’re just in the mood to have some sunshine in your life, here is a (hopefully) helpful list of clips, interviews, and bits and bobs from YouTube.

The date beside each video is when it was published onto YouTube, not necessarily when it took place. There’s no way this list can include every video clip of Amy ever, but hopefully it is an awesome collection (e.g. I didn’t include all of her SNL skits because the list would go on forever). Feel free to let know if any of the links aren’t working/don’t match up and I will fix it. Enjoy ~

Amy Poehler on Ellen

Amy Poehler Rocks Sorry Spin!: Jan 20, 2011
Amy Poehler’s Athleticism: Jan 20, 2011
Amy Poehler’s Son Joins the ‘Real Housewives’: Feb 2, 2011
Amy Poehler Pranks a WB Tour: Jul 20, 2011
Amy Poehler’s Christmas Deception: Dec 16, 2011
Amy Poehler on Her Kids: Sept 19, 2012
Amy Poehler Challenges the Male Emmy Nominees: Sept 20, 2012
Amy Poehler Does Not Want to be Scared: Oct 24, 2013
Amy Poehler’s Awards Show Hosting Prep: Oct 24, 2013
Ellen’s Favorite Scare Videos: Oct 24, 2013
Amy Poehler on ‘Parks and Recreation’: Dec 8, 2014
Amy Poehler on Her Kids: Dec 8, 2014
Amy Poehler Tells It All: Dec 9, 2014
Amy Poehler and Bill Hader Play ‘Heads Up!’: Mar 10, 2015
How Amy Poehler Helped Bill Hader Land ‘SNL’: Mar 11, 2015
Meeting Eddie Murphy: Mar 30, 2015

Amy Poehler on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Amy Poehler & Tiger Woods: Oct 20, 2011
Amy Poehler: Oct 21, 2011
True Confessions with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler: Jul 14, 2015
World Premiere of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Sisters Trailer: Jul 15, 2015

Amy Poehler on Late Night with Seth Meyers

George R.R. Martin, Amy Poehler and Seth Play Game of Thrones Trivia: Oct 28, 2014
Amy Poehler Does Not Remember Meeting Seth: Oct 29, 2014
Amy Poehler Answers Question About Happiness: Oct 29, 2014
The Parks and Recreation Cast Reveals How Chris Pratt Wanted the Show to End: Feb 24, 2015
The Parks and Recreation Cast on Filming the Finale: Feb 25, 2015
The Parks and Recreation Cast Answers Fan Questions: Feb 25, 2015
The Parks and Recreation Cast Sings “Bye, Bye Li’l Sebastian”: Feb 25, 2015
Amy Poehler and Seth Reunite for a New Really!?!: Jun 25, 2015

Amy Poehler on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #5: Nov 22, 2013
Amy Poehler Says Athletes Are Good SNL Hosts: Jun 9, 2015
Amy Poehler is Great at Sports Chatter: Jun 9, 2015
Amy Poehler on Pixar’s “Inside Out”: Jun 9, 2015

Amy Poehler on Letterman

Amy Poehler on Letterman: Apr 24, 2012
Amy Poehler on David Letterman: Mar 6, 2014
Amy Poehler on David Letterman Full: Nov 1, 2014

Amy Poehler on Conan

Amy Poehler Interview Part One: Dec 5, 2012
Amy Poehler Interview Part Two: Dec 5, 2012
Amy Poehler on Conan 2006: Jun 3, 2013
Amy Poehler Dancing With Conan!: Oct 17, 2013
Conan O’Brien, Amy Poehler: Nov 29, 2013

Miscellaneous Interviews

Amy Poehler | Charlie Rose: May 13, 2009
Emmy Roundtable: Women of Comedy: Jul 9, 2009
Amy Poehler on the Today Show: Dec 30, 2009
Amy Poehler on the Today Show: Apr 30, 2011
Emmy Roundtable: Comedy Actresses: Jun 23, 2011
Emmy Roundtable: Comedy Actresses Part 2: Jun 23, 2011
Emmy Roundtable: Comedy Actresses Part 3: Jun 23, 2011
Amy Poehler - 7 Minutes in Heaven: Aug 12, 2011
Amy Poehler Answers Tumblr Questions: Jun 7, 2013
Amy Poehler in conversation with Martin Short at BookCon 2014: Jun 18, 2014
Amy Poehler: “Improvisation is Like the Military” | Charlie Rose: Oct 28, 2014
Feminist Amy Poehler | AOL BUILD: Mar 9, 2015
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (Oprah Interview): Jul 13, 2015
Amy Poehler on The Last Leg with Adam Hills: Aug 15, 2015
Amy Poehler Comedy 2015 | on The Howard Stern Show: Sept 6, 2015

Amy Poehler on Billy on the Street

Christmas Carol Ambush with Amy Poehler!: Dec 18, 2013
Billy on the Street: It’s Not Pitbull- It’s Amy Poehler!: Apr 21, 2014

Various Award Shows

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey Present at Emmy Awards 2008: Nov 24, 2008
Rashida Jones Presents Gracie Award to Amy Poehler - 2010 Gracie Awards: Jun 10, 2010
Jason Bateman & Will Arnett Present Amy Poehler with Best Actress at the 14th Annual Webby Awards: Jun 15, 2010
Amy Poehler Toast at Time 100 Gala: Apr 28, 2011
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy - 2011 Emmy Awards: Sept 18, 2011
2010 Emmys Jimmy Fallon and Amy Poehler Introducing Comedy: Oct 5, 2011
Amy Poehler & Will Arnett Red Carpet @ Variety’s Power of Comedy: Nov 21, 2011
Adam Scott & Amy Poehler get real about “stuff” at the Writers Guild Awards: Feb 28, 2013
Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers reunite onstage at Just for Laughs 2013 - FUNNY!: Jul 29, 2013
Emmys 2013 - NPH vs Tina Fey and Amy Poehler: Sep 23, 2013
SPEECH - Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph at The 15th Annual …: Dec 1, 2013
The 71st Golden Globes: Best Of Tina Fey And Amy Poehler: Jan 13, 2014
Complete 2014 Golden Globes Opening Monologue by Tina Fey & Amy Poehler: Feb 2, 2014
The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards 2013 Tina Fey Amy Poehler Best moments: May 4, 2014
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey: May 31, 2014
Golden Globes 2014 interview - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler: Aug 16, 2014
Amy Poehler at the Emmy Awards 2014: Aug 26, 2014
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Funniest Moments - The 2015 Golden Globes: Jan 11, 2015
Emmys 2015 | The Amys Take Over: Sep 20, 2015
What Amy Poehler Misses Most About “Parks and Recreation”: Sep 21, 2015

Speeches

Amy Poehler’s Amazing Harvard Speech: May 30, 2011
Amy Poehler honors Tina Fey (Korean sub): Aug 18, 2013
Amy Poehler’s Emotional Speech - Power Of Women 2013: Oct 7, 2013
Parks & Recreation: 100th episode - Amy Poehler’s speech: Oct 24, 2013
Amy Poehler Acceptance Speech Golden Globe Awards 2014 | HD: Jan 12, 2014

Saturday Night Live

Amy Poehler Monologue: Anxiety Dream - Saturday Night Live: Aug 12, 2013
Amy Poehler Interview: On SNL You Fake It 'Till You Make It | TODAY: Oct 28, 2014  
The Women of SNL Reveal Who Makes Them Break Character - Glamour: Feb 5, 2015

“Baby Mama” Promotion

Star Movies VIP Access: Baby Mama, Amy Poehler & Tina Fey: Jun 10, 2008
60 Seconds with Tina Fey: Sept 15, 2008
Unscripted: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler: Sept 16, 2012
Baby Mama - Official Trailer (HD) Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sigourney Weaver: Nov 28, 2013
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey road trip bloopers: Feb 19, 2014
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (Oprah Interview): Jul 13, 2015
Baby Mama Movie | Amy Poehler Talks about the film | Behind The Scenes: Aug 10, 2015

Parks and Recreation

Parks & Recreation - Poehler and Ansari on their Characters (Paley Center, 2009): Oct 1, 2010
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler, Aziz Ansari on Sketch Backgrounds (Paley Center Interview): Dec 10, 2010
Parks and Recreation - Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler on Improv (Paley Center Interview): Dec 10, 2010
Parks and Recreation 2011! Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman!: Mar 7, 2011
Parks and Recreation 2011! Amy Poehler!: Nov 11, 2011
“Hidden” Talents: Jan 11, 2012
“Parks and Recreation” Cast Accept Peabody Award: May 22, 2012
Google Play presents: Parks and Recreation: Sep 6, 2012
“Parks and Recreation” | Talks at Google: Sep 19, 2012
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler Explains “Philly Justice”: Sep 21, 2012
Parks And Recreation - Amy Poehler on Creating Leslie Knope: Sep 24, 2012
Parks and Recreation - Improvised Lines: Sep 24, 2012
Parks And Recreation - Chris Pratt Praises Amy Poehler: Oct 25, 2012
Parks and Recreation - DJ Amy Poehler: Nov 21, 2012
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler on Writing and Directing: Nov 29, 2012
Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, and Aubrey Plaza Cozy Up At Trevor Live (EXCLUSIVE): Dec 6, 2012
Parks and Recreation - The Cast Shares Their Comedy Heroes: Dec 13, 2012
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler on Casting Louis C.K.: Dec 13, 2012
Parks And Recreation - A Wish List Of Guest Stars: Dec 20, 2012
Adam Scott & Amy Poehler “Parks And Recreation” INTERVIEW: Feb 17, 2013
Amy Poehler & The Ladies of Parks and Recreation | PEOPLE: Apr 27, 2013
Just For Laughs: Amy Poehler (Parks & Recreation, SNL): Jul 28, 2013
Parks and Recreation Season 6: Amy Poehler “Leslie Knope” On Set Interview: Sep 13, 2013
Amy Poehler & Adam Scott Celebrate Parks & Recreation’s 100th Episode: Oct 18, 2013
Parks and Recreation: Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza, Adam Scott, & Chris Pratt 100th Episode Soundbites: Jan 1, 2014
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler and Michael Schur on Leslie and Ron: Mar 26, 2014
Is Amy Poehler’s Crazy Parks and Rec Story True? | PEOPLE: Oct 22, 2014
Amy Poehler explains 'Parks and Rec’ in 30 seconds: Dec 31, 2014
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler on the Farewell Season (Interview): Jan 6, 2015
‘Parks and Recreation’ Behind The Scenes: Amy Poehler | TODAY: Jan 13, 2015
Amy Poehler Interview - Parks And Recreation Season 7 Finale: Feb 18, 2015
Parks and Recreation - Amy Poehler Finale (Interview): Feb 20, 2015
Parks and Rec cast - Candy tasting: Jun 14, 2015

“Yes Please” Promotion

Amy Poehler in conversation with Martin Short at BookCon 2014: Jun 18, 2014
Amy Poehler YES PLEASE: Oct 8, 2014
Amy Poehler Reads YES PLEASE Live at UCB LA, Video 1: Oct 29, 2014
Amy Poehler Reads YES PLEASE Live at UCB LA, Video 2: Oct 29, 2014
Amy Poehler Interview: New Memoir 'Yes Please’ | TODAY: Oct 29, 2014
Amy Poehler on her new book “Yes Please”: Oct 31, 2014
Amy Poehler and Tatiana Maslany - “Yes Please” Toronto Event: Oct 31, 2014
Intimate with Liza Fromer: Amy Poehler: Dec 29, 2014
Amy Poehler 'Yes Please’ | AOL BUILD: Mar 9, 2015

“Inside Out” Promotion

Meet Amy Poehler as Joy in INSIDE OUT: May 16, 2015
Inside Out Cannes Film Festival Premiere Interview - Amy Poehler (Joy): May 19, 2015
Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling on Space-Time Continuum: 'Inside Out’ - Live From Cannes: May 20, 2015
Rose Matafeo Meets Amy Poehler: Jun 5, 2015
Pixar’s Inside Out: Amy Poehler “Joy” Official Movie Interview: Jun 12, 2015
'Inside Out’ | Unscripted | Moviefone: Jun 16, 2015
Amy Poehler & Pete Docter interview with Marc Fennell I The Feed: Jun 16, 2015
INSIDE OUT interviews - Poehler, Hader, Kaling, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black - Pixar: Jun 16, 2015
Amy Poehler Reveals Her Alternate 'Inside Out’ Emotion: Jun 18, 2015
Amy Poehler Talks Dominating Award Shows And Sausage Eating Snakes: Jun 18, 2015
The Weekly: Amy Poehler Interview: Jun 24, 2015
Amy Poehler & Pete Docter - Inside Out - Full Interview: Jul 1, 2015
Amy Poehler talks about Pixar Animation Inside Out with Sarah Powell: Jul 23, 2015
David Morrissey interviews Amy Poehler: Jul 24, 2015
Inside Out Behind The Scenes Footage: Jul 27, 2015

“Sisters” Promotion

Sisters Official Sneak Peek #1 (2015) - Amy Poehler, Tina Fey Movie HD: Jan 11, 2015
World Premiere of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Sisters Trailer: July 15, 2015
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on Sisters: Nov 2, 2015
Sisters Official International Trailer #1 (2015) - Tina Fey, Amy Poehler Comedy HD: Nov 20, 2015
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey On How Their Kids Would Describe Them: Dec 3, 2015
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Complete Each Other’s Sentences: Dec 4, 2015
Filming Sisters Was Like an SNL Reunion for Amy Poehler: Dec 10, 2015
'Sisters’ Unscripted - Tina Fey, Amy Poehler: Dec 14, 2015
The Sisters Cast Use Star Wars Action Figures to Convince You to See Their Movie Instead: Dec 17, 2015

Smart Girls at the Party

The Feminist: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: May 7, 2012
Yogini: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: May 7, 2012
Boxer: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jul 1, 2012
Blowing Glass: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jul 8, 2012
Musician: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jul 15, 2012
Photography: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jul 22, 2012
Hip Hop: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jul 29, 2012
Animal Caretaker: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Aug 5, 2012
Triathlete: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Aug 19, 2012
Horse Therapy: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Sep 2, 2012
Behind the Scenes and Bloopers: Smart Girls with Amy Poehler: Sep 20, 2012
Drag Racer: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Oct 18, 2012
Native American: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Nov 2, 2012
Sikh: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Nov 15, 2012
Meghan Camarena: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Dec 4, 2012
Grace Helbig: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Dec 13, 2012
Lindsey Stirling: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Dec 27, 2012
Friend of Senior Citizens: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jan 27, 2013
Skaters: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Feb 14, 2013
Outdoors: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Feb 28, 2013
Ellaraino: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Mar 14, 2013
Irma Kalish: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Mar 28, 2013
Amy Poehler’s HARD HITTING QUESTIONS: May 8, 2013
Dr. Jane Aronson: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: May 9, 2013
Broad City: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: May 17, 2013
The Ann Richards Play, starring Holland Taylor: Smart Girls w/ Amy Poehler: Jun 7, 2013

Ask Amy

Makeup: Jul 10, 2012
Stress: Jul 17, 2012
Friendship: Jul 31, 2012
Embarrassed: Aug 14, 2012
Sisters: Aug 28, 2012
Bodies: Sep 9, 2012
Anxiety: Sep 28, 2012
Parents: Oct 11, 2012
Math: Oct 26, 2012
Decisions: Nov 8, 2012
Letting Go: Dec 6, 2012
Jealousy: Dec 20, 2012
Negativity: Jan 13, 2013
Sleep: Jan 24, 2013
Apologizing: Feb 7, 2013
Crushes: Feb 21, 2013
New Friends: Mar 7, 2013
Goodbyes: Mar 21, 2013
Courage: Apr 4, 2013
I Love You Boston: Apr 18, 2013
Exams: May 2, 2013
Buzz Off: May 23, 2013
Volunteering: May 31, 2013
Crying: Jun 13, 2013
Quiet: Jun 27, 2013
News: Jul 15, 2013
Love: Aug 8, 2013
Power: Sep 6, 2013

Amy Poehler Singing

Will Arnett & Amy Poehler Sing at the Emmys: Sep 19, 2011
NBC’s Brotherhood of Man - Extended Version - Super Bowl: Feb 5, 2012
Amy Poehler sings with Foo Fighters: May 22, 2012
Amy Poehler Part 2: Meow Meow Music: Jul 19, 2012
Amy Poehler Karaoke, One Direction in the Men’s Room, & More Viral Videos!: Oct 21, 2012
Parks and Recreation - Parents Just Don’t Understand: Feb 5, 2013
Leslie’s Poker Face: Jun 12, 2013
Santa’s My Boyfriend - Saturday Night Live: Oct 9, 2013
Black Eyed Peas Ad - Saturday Night Live: Oct 9, 2013
Update: Palin Rap - Saturday Night Live: Aug 12, 2013
Parks and Recreation: Leslie & Jamm Sing 'Summer Nights’: Nov 21, 2013
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler sing off key in Golden Globes promo Mail Online: Dec 7, 2013
Amy Poehler and Jack Black Singing “The Rose” at Festival Supreme 2015: Oct 11, 2015

Amy Poehler Commercials

Meryl Streep, Amy Poehler, & Friends Draw The Line For Reproductive Rights: Oct 9, 2012
Asking Amy Best Buy Super Bowl Commercial 2013: Feb 4, 2013
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler commercial: Jun 30, 2013
Wardrobe Interview - Old Navy TV Commercial Ft. Amy Poehler: Apr 7, 2014
TV Commercial - Old Navy - Dresses - Featuring Amy Poehler: Apr 10, 2014
Joyful Heart Foundation TV Commercial, 'No More’ Feat Amy Poehler, Ice Tea: May 14, 2014
Old Navy Soccer Mom / Amy Poehler Active Commercial: Jun 9, 2014
Old Navy Commercial with Amy Poehler and Bree Condon (2014): Jul 6, 2014
Old Navy Amy Poehler Commercial 2014: Jul 21, 2014
TV Commercial - Old Navy - Back to School Sale 2014 - Feat Amy Poehler - Spell Me This: Jul 31, 2014
Old Navy Commercial with Amy Poehler #2 - 2014: Sep 1, 2014
Old Navy Commercial with Amy Poehler and Kate Amundsen - 2014: Sep 30, 2014
Old Navy Commercial with Amy Poehler - 2014: Nov 9, 2014
Million Dollar Diva Ft Amy Poehler - Old Navy Commercial (2014): Nov 24, 2014

Bits and Bobs

Betty White 90th Birthday Tribute - Amy Poehler: Jan 22, 2012
Hart to Hart (Full Episode) | The Greatest Event | Adult Swim: Jun 6, 2013
Amy Poehler Is Super Creative In Two Minutes: May 12, 2015
Leslie Knope Bloopers: Nov 24, 2015

6

“Characters on mockumentary shows look at the camera for different reasons.

For Michael Scott from The Office, for example, it would be because he’d just done something humiliating and then suddenly remember that there were cameras there. His looks were often conveying ‘uh-oh’.

Ben Wyatt, like Jim Halpert from The Office, often looks to camera as a plea like ‘can you believe what i have to deal with’.

Andy Dwyer looks to camera like it’s his best friend and he wants to share how awesome something is.“


- Michael Schur in Amy Poehlers ‘Yes Please’

LET’S TALK ABOUT AMY POEHLER!!!

I mean, first, she was so sad. So sad. Like I feel really bad that she had to entertain us because she wants to lock herself in her room just like the rest of the world. But she was still so funny and wonderful and I just love her so much.

  • She was hilarious and sweet and encouraging to girls and telling us to work hard and surround ourselves with positive people and I just feel very inspired
  • She was so PUMPED when Parks and Rec was brought up. She loves that show, man
  • If she could have played a different character on Parks and Rec it’d be Andy because she loves Christ Pratt. She’s play him by killing Chris and wearing his face.
  • She wishes someone would start a show called “SHHHHHH” where people of color sit white people down and explain why the things they do are racist. And every time the white person says “But I-” the person of color says “SHHHHHHHH!”
  • She’d like an aestroid to come down and kill us all before Janurary. That’d be cool. 
  • “Speed round of questions. What’s your spirit animal?” “No, that’s racist.” 
  • She’s very short. Did you guys know that???? Cause I did NOT
  • OK there’s so much more that I can’t remember now but I’m gonna leave you with this:
  • “What similarities do you have to Leslie?” “Well, I’m generally a pretty positive person *quietly* except right now…”
  • She keeps trying to think about how Leslie would handle this, and she would hunker down, gather her people, and get to work. And she says she’s too angry at the moment to do that. But let me tell you, there’s a reason that when I think of Amy Poehler, I imagine Leslie. She’s all the good parts of Leslie, and we deserve her SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

anonymous asked:

Hey! Would you mind elaborating on pluto trine ascendant? I'm really curious about this aspect, I have it in my chart.

Of course!
I’m gonna start by saying some really intense people have this aspect… Trent Reznor, Bettie Page, Clint Eastwood… lol even Amy Poehler… now all I can think of is Leslie Knope with Pluto trine Asc, which is hilarious because her whole character is basically what I was thinking when I thought of this aspect… Projecting as someone who literally pours every ounce of their vast Plutonic energy into changing/healing things for the better.

So anyway, when Pluto makes trines (or sextiles) it’s a good thing. If we’re going to have Pluto energy in our chart it’s something we want to harness, not to rip us up from inside. The Ascendant is the mask we wear, and the way others see us. So with Pluto in harmonious aspect to this mask, others will see you as intense. And this could range from all sorts of Plutonic intensity… dark and moody, sexual and seductive, powerful and authoritative, passionate and driven… which all of course can take various forms but all share in common some unmistakeable energies. You approach the world in a driven way, you’re someone who seeks out to finish the things you start and make a difference in yourself or others. You have a way of changing, usually for the better with the trine, and probably attract really intense people too. There’s also a tendency to always be working, always seeking something that needs fixing or “revolution”, so since your way of approaching the world is tapping into powerhouse Pluto energy, it wouldn’t be shocking if you’re a workaholic. You might intimidate others with how intense you get, but Pluto is there to weed out the ones who really want to change.

Pluto rules Scorpio and Scorpio’s more adorable quality is how passionate and riled up they get about the things they enjoy and believe in. So I feel like this quality is probably really apparent with your outer self.

All in all this is a great aspect for getting things done. There is lots of healing and change you can accomplish!

when people are all about “feminism!!!” “equality!!!!” “empower women!!!”

and then they’re like “white feminism”

“i hate her and I want her to die!”

ok. I think you’re missing the point. Stop calling yourselves feminists if you’re deciding a group of women is worthless because they’re not saying or thinking exactly what you want them to. If you don’t like what they say, find yourselves some other role model. Don’t trash on good people that has done a lot of good for a lot of young women. This is not feminism. Get out. 

people I want on walking dead

Amy Poehler as a Leslie Knope-esque character overly optimistic about fixing the world almost mostly just so she can get back to being in office

Nicholas Cage actually somehow playing a serious character

Zac Efron as a walker. Michonne whispers “getcha head in the game” and chops his head off.

Chuck Norris. As a walker. Michonne takes him out and everyone starts cracking Chuck Norris style jokes about her. “Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia. Fear of Michonne is called Logic.” “There used to be a street named Michonne but they changed it because no one crosses Michonne and lives.” “Superman wears Michonne pajamas”

 Woody Harrelson playing himself. Everyone keeps calling him Tallahassee and asking what he’ll do when he finally finds a twinkie. he protests every time because twinkies are nasty, but then when they come across some he sighs, looks off into the distance, says “it’s what Tallahassee would do”, and takes a bite. It is disgusting.  

cloudstreesandtheoceanfloor  asked:

Yay a fellow Amy Poehler fanatic! Have you seen wet hot american summer with baby Amy? Also the movie about how it was made is awesome because who doesn't want Amy being cute and adorable as shit?? Do you have a fav Benslie kiss from P&R? 💜

 Yay hello fellow Amy Poehler fanatic!!!

I have seen WHAS and the making of it! Such a quality film and mini series and doco! She’s so cute in the 2001 movie and the scene where they all get really high is so Wild and funny omfg. And I loved her in the recent Netflix series, that hair tho hahaha

And omg I honestly don’t think I can choose just one! So I’m gonna list like ten:

The You’re-Finally-Fucking-Kissing Kiss

The Emotionally-Ruining-Me-In-A-Teeny-Tiny-Park Kiss

The It’s-Snowing-And-They’re-Kissing-Can-You-Believe-It Kiss

The They’re-Making-Out-Because-He-Punched-A-Dude-And-It-Was-Hot Kiss

The Jen-Barkley-Look-How-Sexy-We-Are Kiss

The He-Didn’t-Write-The-Speech-Because-He-Knew-He-Didn’t-Need-To Kiss

The I-Can’t-Get-Through-This-Scene-Without-Balling-My-Fucking-Eyes-Out Kiss

The They’re-Making-Out-Hard-In-The-Back-Of-A-Cab-Is-This-For-Real Kiss

The Famous-Mac-N-Cheese-Pizza Kiss

The They’re-Just-Casually-Making-Out-In-Paris-It’s-Chill Kisses

And finally, The Ann-Just-Left-So-I’m-Already-Emotional Kiss

Thank u for the message, and sorry for the giant reply <3

White feminists have told me that I should suspend the reality of my race from the women’s rights discussion. But this meme shows EXACTLY why there continues to be a divide betwixt white feminists and black feminists. “Stop making everything about race,” they say (and have said). 

But if black women didn’t ride for black women, then we’d always be last on your (and everybody else’s) list of sh** to do. Not over here. I don’t rock with any white feminists that want to discuss feminism without discussing how race plays into that narrative. I don’t rock with any white feminists that can stan for Emma Watson, Lena Dunham, Amy Poehler because they have popularized feminism but cannot say a mumbling word about the vindication of black women with this Daniel Holtzclaw case. 

Ignore it to feel better all you want, but race  DOES play into gender experiences. It’s sad if your white privilege doesn’t allow you to see that.

8

“It’s a struggle for me to remain open, to not shut down because I’m defensive or scared or maybe my ego is getting in the way. And the other side of that is just believing that I belong where I am and deserve to take up space. I fight constantly between those two things, between not apologizing for what I want and staying vulnerable and creatively supple and not thinking I know better than everyone else.”

Pizza My Heart

Minty Fic week is here!! I’ve already loved reading people’s fics, I hope some of you like this one:) The first day is Birthday!AU 

AO3

He’s being ridiculous. Monty knows he’s being ridiculous. But still his palms sweat as dials the contact in his phone.

“Dropship Pizza. How can I help you?” A gruff voice answers on the other end.

His stomach sinks with disappointment. Monty lets out the breath he was holding, no longer nervous.

“Hey Bellamy.”

“Oh, hey Monty. The usual? Hawaiian for you and Anchovies for Jasper, right?”

Monty clears his throat, “Yeah, um. No Jasper tonight, just me. Who’s delivering?” He winces, feeling awkward and obvious.

He thinks he can hear a smile in Bellamy’s voice, but he’s not sure, “Miller’s on shift right now. Raven’s gonna be around to help in a bit though. Things between you and Jasper okay?”

Monty thinks it’s kind of a weird question, but shrugs it off. He and Jasper are always together, they’re best friends. Which is why tonight Monty is having the pity party to end all pity parties, drowning his sorrows in greasy pizza. Because Jasper is out on a date with Maya. Who he’s known a month. And it’s not that Monty doesn’t like Maya, he really does, but no matter how you frame it, your best friend forgetting your birthday sucks.

“Jasper’s good. So, yeah, just the Hawaiian for me.” Monty ends the conversation pretty quickly after that. He hardly knows Bellamy. They’ve interacted a few times at Dropship Pizza or when he’s delivered. Bellamy’s a nice guy. But all Monty knows about him is that he’s manager at the pizza place on campus and that he has a little sister. Whom he is very protective of. Jasper learned that the hard way when he hit on the pretty girl working the register one night before he met Maya. Monty and Bellamy are definitely not the kind of close where he can talk to him about his problems. That kind of thing might happen over drinks, not pizza.

Tonight Monty just wants to wallow in self-pity, he doesn’t care if that’s bad for him. He thought about going to see Clarke down the hall, but she’s probably busy with work (pre-med’s a bitch) and he’s doesn’t know how to tell her that it’s his birthday and Jasper forgot without feeling completely humiliated. So instead he’s going to ogle the hot pizza delivery guy and binge watch Parks and Recreation. He’s pathetic.


Monty is leaning against the wall outside the dorms scrolling through his phone when someone coughs pointedly.  Monty looks up. Miller is standing in front of him holding a pizza box, wearing a huge smile and Monty almost dies right then and there. He’s seen Miller dozens of times, but the closest thing to a smile he’s seen is a thin lipped smirk. Still, Monty has been in half in love with Miller for months, despite his brooding tendencies. Jasper teases him about it and always makes him get the pizza when Miller’s delivering. The thought of Jasper makes the smile drop off Monty’s face.

“Hey,” Monty greets Miller, in what he hopes is a normal voice. Miller frowns, an adorable crease puckering his brows. The crease is adorable? Monty is so far gone.

“Got your Hawaiian pizza. Bellamy made it extra large, no charge. He said you sounded kind of weird on the phone. Is, uh, everything okay?”

Monty sighs, “Wow, I must have been pretty obvious if he figured it out over the phone.” He doesn’t offer any more details, Miller probably doesn’t care, he’s just a good guy. He grabs his wallet from his pocket, “How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on me.” Miller hands him the box with a shy smile then turns and walks back to his car. Monty’s gaze trails down the other boy’s back before he shakes himself and turns to go back inside. He’s pulling the door open when Miller calls his name.

Miller’s holding a smaller box. He won’t look Monty in the eye, shuffling back and forth on his feet.

“Listen, I don’t know what happened, but I hate seeing you upset. And if Jasper broke up with you, or you two got in a fight, he’s an idiot. But I, uh, just finished my shift and we had some extra cookies left over. They’re probably cold, but here.” Miller shoves the small box forward, setting it on top of the other box in Monty’s hands. Monty just stares at him in disbelief, not sure how to process what just happened. When Miller starts to leave Monty snaps out of his stupor.

“Jasper’s not my boyfriend.” Monty calls out.

Miller turns. He scratches his cheek and Monty gets sidetracked wondering what Miller’s beard would feel like against his lips. He blinks and stares down at the boxes he’s holding.

“We’re not dating. Jasper’s my best friend. He, um, has a girlfriend actually,” he tells the boxes. When he peaks up Miller is beaming. Monty’s stomach flips. Why do they call it butterflies? It feels more like someone sunk a hook in his gut and tethered it to the pizza boy.

They stare at each other for a moment. Monty wonders if it’s possible Miller might like him. If he might feel a fraction of the heart pounding, knee weakening ache Monty feels. If he catches himself thinking about Monty the way Miller occupies Monty’s thoughts making him trail off in the middle of sentences because he sees a kid wearing a shirt with a similar design to the one inked on Miller’s bicep. Yes, Miller has tattoos. Monty never stood a chance.

The pause stretches between them, Monty wishes he had the nerve to just ask Miller out.

“Um, but something happened right? With you and Jasper?” Miller asks finally.

Monty’s shoulders tense and he takes a deep breath. “Um, sort of. It’s embarrassing actually,” he says, eyes welling up. He stares at the wall, cheeks hot with shame.

He jumps when Miller lays a hand on his arm. He didn’t notice him move.

“I know that we don’t really know each other but do you want go get a drink? I just… Let me do something to help you feel better.”

Miller is looking at him with undisguised concern. His voice cracked at the end of his sentence. So for once Monty doesn’t let himself think. He drops the boxes, Miller’s eyes track them for a split second, his face a mask of surprise but Monty is kissing him before he can react.

He clutches Miller’s shirt pulling him close. Miller responds immediately. He brings his hand to Monty’s cheek tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

They break apart after a few minutes both breathing heavily. Monty has his back pressed against the brick wall, one of Miller’s feet between his legs.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Miller says.


The pizza is still intact when they pick it up and the cookies are fine, just a little smushed. Monty doesn’t care. He puffs out a laugh when Miller gets some chocolate on the edge of his lip. Miller is distracted by Amy Poehler and Aziz Ansari on the screen when Monty leans in and kisses the smudge off his mouth. He starts to pull away but Miller stops him with a hand on the back of his neck.

“Is this gonna be a thing? You surprising me with kisses? Because if so, I totally support it.” Miller’s breath is hot on Monty’s lips. Monty is smiling so much Miller’s kiss ends up mostly on his teeth. He just chuckles and nips Monty’s jaw, trailing open mouthed kisses down Monty’s throat. Miller doesn’t leave until the next morning. He has class but they get breakfast at the dining hall across from Monty’s dorm. They exchange numbers over breakfast, shy smiles and hearts skipping a beat. Miller tastes like maple syrup and granted wishes when they kiss goodbye at Miller’s car.

“Thank you,” Monty kisses Miller’s cheek, beard soft against his lips. Miller smiles back at him. Monty noticed last night that every time he smiles Miller answers with a grin of his own, almost like a reflex. A match crackles as it lights, his insides igniting.

“That was the best birthday ever,” Monty tells him. Miller’s smile falters. His eyes trace Monty’s face softly. He doesn’t say anything just pulls Monty in for another sound kiss.

He leaves shortly after. Monty spends the rest of the day floating in a state of bliss. Jasper apologizes like crazy when they see each other in chemistry. Monty shrugs it off, not feeling quite ready to forgive his friend. He says it’s okay anyway because not even Jasper can ruin his mood. Clarke comments on his smile when they are studying in his room that afternoon. He tells her about Miller and she’s so excited you’d think she was the one dating him. Monty feels a pang of gratitude for Clarke, she’s the closest friend he’s made at college and already he can’t imagine life without her.

A little while later there’s a knock on his door. He pulls it open to find Miller standing there looking amazing in a fitted black tee and grey beanie. He’s also holding a cake that says ‘Happy Birthday’ and grinning like an idiot. Monty stares at him in shock. He doesn’t even notice when Clarke politely excuses herself. All he sees is Miller.

  • Bobby: "Why did you guys post that video of me man? I mean it didn't make me feel good. It was mean. You guys are mean."
  • Leslie: "Well we used your own ad so I don't think it was mean."
  • Bobby: "All right, let me lay it out for you, my friends keep sending me links to that video and they just make fun of me...just stop running, okay...just stop."
  • Leslie: "Stop running the ad?
  • Bobby: "No stop running the campaign."
  • Leslie: "What?"
  • Bobby: "Just quit. It would be so cool of you if you just quit. Then I can win the election and I'll have a big party and I'll put you both on the guest list, plus one. Plus I'm going to have a guy who does magic, not cheesy magic, really good magic."
  • Leslie: "We're not going to quit the campaign. Why would we do that?"
  • Bobby: "Because I want it. C'mon gimme it. Gimme it. Gimme it. C'mon gimme it. Just give me the election. I'm sorry. Please. Please."
  • Ben: "Well he does make a compelling argument."

anonymous asked:

Hey kelly :) I'm dying for another haker one-shot, I truly miss them...

It’s close to midnight when Hannah parks on the street outside Baker’s house. The air is crisp, clean, still, and it cools Hannah’s cheeks when she gets out of her car, flushed from the heat she had been blasting on the drive over.

Outside, she texts, tiptoeing around to the back of the house.

Keep reading

Show Me How - Luke

Okay, this was requested and it ended up being a bit long winded. It’s about Luke showing you how to give a blow job, basically. I read this thing ages ago about an erection not being a medical condition, so I put that in here, because it’s important to know that you’re never obligated to do anything because a boy can’t control his dick, and you should never give a blow job to an absolute arsehole, just because he tells you to.

ALSO “if you don’t eat pussy, keep walking” - Amy Poehler

On that note, enjoy! Also, I really can’t write full on smut, so please don’t expect it to be like that.

———

“I can’t believe it’s Friday night, and you’re making me watch Sex and the City” Luke complains, not for the first time, “I even walked all the way…”

“You live next door!” You scoff, interrupting him, “And I am not making you watch Sex and the City. I am watching it, you could leave and go and do whatever you want to do.”

“….no, it’s fine” he huffs, not wanting to admit that he didn’t want to do anything if you weren’t there. He’d pulled your legs across his, his thumb tracing circles on your inner thigh. The way the two of you had an unspoken agreement you’d only sit if no one else is there. Otherwise people started to assume you were more than friends. Which you weren’t, obviously. You’d just known each other all your lives, you were closer than most best friends. It was only other people that made it weird between the two of you, this was the way you’d always been.

“Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing!” You laugh at Samantha’s comment about blow jobs, but notice Luke frown.

“Is she serious?” He rolls his head to the side to look at you, “do girls not like giving head?”

“Why are you asking me? I’ve never done it,” you shrug, “but I don’t think I know of any women who would say they enjoy it.” This isn’t the answer he wanted, clearly.

“I never really thought about it” he genuinely looks bothered by this information.

“Luke, it’s not a big deal. You know, it’s a give and receive situation. As long as you’re giving willingly, then you’re good” you pull his hand onto your lap. He looks thoughtful for a second.

“Yeah, but guys can be complete dicks about it. So a lot of women are put in a situation they don’t want to be in, and then don’t even get anything back!” This was a conversation that wasn’t going away. You appreciated his concern for womankind though.

“More girls should know that an erection isn’t a medical condition. You’re under no obligation to do anything about it” you reply, making Luke chuckle.

“I don’t want you ever to give some complete idiot a blow job, okay?” His face is too serious and you try not to laugh, “if he doesn’t eat pussy, walk away”

“I can’t believe you’ve just said that to me” your laugh doing nothing to cover how awkward you feel.

“I’m just saying! A guy should love eating pussy” he turns back to the TV screen.

“Please, stop saying ‘pussy’”

“Sorry” his giggle doesn’t match up to the words that have just left his mouth.

“What?” You ask, after a few seconds of Luke glancing at you, “why are you looking at me?”

“I was just thinking” he mumbles, “I was…never mind.”

“Luke…” You shuffle so you can see his face more clearly.

“I just…I wondered, for like a second, what you’d taste like…and now I can’t stop thinking about it” his cheeks are red, he won’t look you in the eyes. There’s a silence as you process what he’s just said. He’s your best friend and he’s just said he wanted to know you taste like, that should be weird. Yet now you were wondering the same thing. You were imagining Luke as a moaning mess underneath you, hearing him say your name over and over again and knowing that you were the one to make him feel like that. You wanted it, you wanted him.

“It’s a give and receive kinda situation, right?” Your voice is strained, trying to stop thinking about Luke’s mouth on you.

“What? Y/N, I didn’t mean…I’m not asking you to…” He stutters, sitting up straight.

“Luke, show me how” you whisper. He stares at you.

“Fuck” is what he comes up with, after a thoughtful few seconds, “are you…are you serious? Because they don’t call it a job for nothing, you know.”

“I’m serious,” you nod, “I just don’t really know what I’m doing, so I need you to help me.”

“Okay” his voice sounding hoarse, “come here” he whispers, as he pulls your face towards his. It should have been weird, it was Luke kissing you. It wasn’t at all though. It felt right. He bites your lower lip, asking to deepen the kiss and you hear him moan into your mouth as you lock your hands around his neck, your fingers in his hair. It’s you who has to stop the kiss, to remind him why you were doing this in the first place.

“Right, yeah. You sure about this?”
He asks. Satisfied with your answering nod, he does what you ask and shows you what you want to know. You’re not entirely clueless, you want to tease him as much as possible, make him desperate for you. You want to be so good that he never wants another mouth other than yours on him again, so you listen when he gives you advice and pay attention to his moans, the way he repeats your name over and over. Eventually his inability to form a coherent sentence prevents him from giving you any further guidance, you think you’ve got the gist though. The repetition of the word “fuck” that keeps falling from his mouth, indicates that you’re doing pretty well.

“That was incredible” Luke breathes heavily, “you…are incredible. Fuck. I want to taste you” within a second, he’s on top of you, kissing down your body, “you’re mine, Y/N. I mean it, please don’t ever let another man touch you. I want you, I want all of you.”

“Okay” you gasp, unable to focus as his hands and mouth begin to distract you, “I’m yours, I’m entirely yours.”