because i thought it was hilarious

anonymous asked:

{ When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy. Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity! 🌼 }

Hmmm…I’ve received one of these about a month ago and wrote a rambling response here. This is actually the third one I received, because I thought responding again would be redundant, which was a bit rude in retrospect. 

Rather than re-hash my answers, I’ll try to take a different approach altogether since you took the time to send this to me, anon. 

1) @nckclrk​ & our menagerie

A post shared by Christine Clark (@plasmid203) on Oct 13, 2013 at 11:05am PDT

2) maple-pecan danishes

A post shared by Christine Clark (@plasmid203) on Oct 2, 2013 at 1:50pm PDT

3) trips to the dog park

A post shared by Christine Clark (@plasmid203) on Sep 29, 2013 at 6:24pm PDT

4) A halfway decent selfie of myself in my favorite dress. It’s basically the only selfie I’ve ever taken that doesn’t make me cringe. ^_^;

A post shared by Christine Clark (@plasmid203) on Aug 21, 2013 at 8:51am PDT

5) Whatever is going on with this car. It’s not just parked out in front of a rowhouse for display. It’s in a different place every time I see it. Someone’s actually driving around the city in this thing!

A post shared by Christine Clark (@plasmid203) on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:24pm PDT

weeks later isak and even are at a party and 5 fine frøkner starts playing and even says “it’s our song!” while laughing and dragging a very disgruntled trying to hide a smile isak into the dancing crowd

4

Flirty Mr. Wilson had me like:

Originally posted by a-night-in-wonderland

So yeah, I was taking screenshots of this video and randomly paused it on the first picture in this post and I thought it was hilarious because I thought it looked like Mr. Wilson just resting his hands on both sides of the doorway like he was just about to flirt with someone or the character you play as in this game and the idea of him flirting just made me laugh so hard because he’s supposed to be the scary part of this game. Then because of that I got the idea for this dumb post, enjoy everyone! xD

the signs as things my theater professor has actually said in class, part two
  • Aries: "I want to save my bony, pasty white ass from being fired"
  • Taurus: "I once took half an aspirin and basically started drunk texting my friends"
  • Gemini: "Within the first hour of meeting her, she had already told us all about her Russian mafia fight club"
  • Cancer: "I was once almost fired for having porn on my hard drive when I gave said hard drive to a student. she thought it was hilarious"
  • Leo: "I don't want to say I was wearing a jockstrap, or a banana hammock, because I don't like those words, but there wasn't much material there"
  • Virgo: "Fuck professional development! We're serving sundaes all day"
  • Libra: "I was taken off all advertisements for the school for what I said. But I have tenure, so it's chill"
  • Scorpio: "First of all, fuck"
  • Sagittarius: "I love shopping for couches! I could lay on those mofos all day"
  • Capricorn: "Unfortunately, my friend didn't tell me that what I smoked wasn't just weed- there was PCP mixed in as well. I blacked out for an entire day"
  • Aquarius: "I propose we change the school song to just having everyone chant 'smoke dat shit'"
  • Pisces: "What if we had a required class called Marijuana 101?"
THAT THING WHEN KIDS POINT AT YOU YELLING QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE VISIBLY DISABLED

It kinda sucks. It really sucks. I like kids and I work with kids and I’m totally used to it and it still sucks. It hurts my feelings.

I didn’t become disabled and get an instant magical free training in how to teach kids about disability and diversity. I also didn’t sign up for a delicate unpaid education-and-outreach job every time I go to the frickin’ grocery store. (I actually don’t have time for that).

BUT. And this is a big butt.

I am actually learning to love it, this stupid important unpaid job that I didn’t even get to choose.

I know I know, I have an unfair advantage because I already thought kids were ridiculous and hilarious to begin with. And I worked with them before I started using a wheelchair. But working with kids and having to have the disability conversation in so many iterations so many times over is teaching me a whole lot about this whole situation! And it got much less stressful after I realized this helpful key secret:

kids don’t actually have a problem with disability.

Especially compared to the adults you encounter who will or won’t ask about it and will or won’t hire you or date you or what-have-you, so many kids have absolutely no problem with disability. Unless the media // the adults around them have gotten to their brains before you, this whole conversation might be alarmingly simple, quick, and painless:

SCENARIO 1:

“hey why are you on that?” [“on that” refers to my wheelchair]. 

(whenever possible I put down what I’m doing in order to smile and make eye contact for this. It will probably be less than 20 seconds).

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that makes my bones crack easily, so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

“oh!”

“cool right?”

“yeah!”

“did you have any other questions?” [I only throw that in on good days]

“um. nope!”


[kid goes to play]

[exhale]


My advice is to expect Scenario One. All you gotta do to prepare is have a one-sentence explanation of your assistive device / disability that you feel comfortable with. Kids do not give a shit about your diagnosis, and you don’t need to prove anything to them. All they need from you is a simple, casual answer.

I * always * explicitly use the word disability for a few reasons. I used to just casually say “I fractured my leg” which was also true, but kids learn really early on to feel pity for someone who has an injury, so they would say things like “ohh I feel bad for you” or “oh when will you get better” which always made the conversation longer and more uncomfortable. Then I realized I had a lot of power in shaping their interaction with disability (and their response to it) in these brief encounters, and also I GET TO DECIDE HOW I ANSWER! So I revised my answer to frame my injuries (and my wheels), as a normal, casual part of my life. Feel free to use my exact wording if it helps you:

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that   (very basic explanation)     so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

Okay I studied sociolinguistics in college so here’s my geeky little break-down:

  • oh my wheelchair?” ← gives a nice nonchalant “oh this old thing” vibe and sends the message that it’s okay and normal to talk about wheelchairs.
  • great question!” ← teaches the child that disability is not shameful
  • I have a disability that ___” ← addresses the taboo right away, deflating any tension, awkwardness, and curiosity in the rest of the conversation. Suddenly you have all the power here, since there’s no secret anymore.
  • so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair” ← emphasizes the positive attributes of assistive devices. You could also say “it helps me do everything I want to do” or “my wheels are faster than my feet” or whatever you want. Again, simplicity works for you in this.
  • It’s just how I help my body be at its best!” ← hopefully kids are already getting some messaging about taking care of their bodies: brushing their teeth, eating a snack, sleeping enough, etc. This line should be relatable to them and also caps the conversation in a helpful way: it’s almost like saying “this is just how it is” and creates a sense of gentle, positive closure.

My personal opinion on the matter of disclosure is that the vast majority of kids don’t care at all about the fancy name of your disability. I don’t emphasize simplicity because I think kids need to be talked down to, I emphasize simplicity because it keeps the conversation clear, casual, and quick. In the adult world, disclosure is practically demanded of disabled people: even if they don’t ask, everyone wants to know what, exactly, is “wrong” with you. So my choice in not naming my specific disability in these conversations with kids is conscious and political. Not disclosing my diagnosis keeps our conversation out of the medical sphere (disabled people are so over-medicalized anyway) and gives us a chance to connect human-to-human. Some people feel that sharing a diagnosis will raise “awareness” for their illness or disability but I’m not sure that awareness is what I need from kids. I don’t need them to be aware that my bod has wonky collagen production, I need them to know how to interact with me respectfully. I’m not adamantly against specific diagnosis disclosure, (again, YOU GET TO CHOOSE what you say in these situations!) but I also don’t think it’s necessary or important and I think more often than not, it derails the conversation. Especially if you already didn’t have time for this to begin with. Guaranteed, a diagnosis disclosure will add time to this convo.

Often kids will ask what happened to you, assuming that you’ve had some kind of accident. I have a congenital disability, so even when I * have * fractured and had an ‘accident’ and that is why I’m wheeling instead of walking, I usually just casually say: “oh, nothing happened! Same old me. I have a disability…” and continue my spiel from there. 

They will also ask what’s wrong with you (which is the hardest to stomach) and I do the same thing: “oh, nothing’s wrong! I just have a disability…” etc. If I’m just absolutely not in the mood or if a kid seems weirdly aggressive (which is almost never the case, but it does happen), I’ll cheerfully say “oh nothing’s wrong, but thank you so much for asking!” and that usually shuts down the conversation. 

Lovelies, I know how fucking painful this is. Ugh it sucks so much. But it does get easier and gentler and sometimes kids say really goofy things that you get to laugh about later. This conversation is yours. You get to do as you please with it. Have fun. If you want, for little ones throw in an afterthought: “plus it gives me magical powers. But don’t tell anyone.” Having someone look at you like you could be legitimately fucking magical might make your day. 

Hell, you ARE legitimately fucking magical. Go you for reading this and thinking about this and doing you. 

love,

haley

Craig Conspiracy

A couple of years ago, I made a joke post about a paranormal mystery story I wanted to write. It featured a demon named Craig, based on my evil 7th grade science teacher. I thought “Craig” was a hilariously underwhelming name for a hilariously underwhelming demon.

I was not alone.

I swear, it seems like every time somebody gives a demon a funny name, it’s fucking “Craig”, or the demon is talking to “Craig”.

Is this because “Craig” is a nonthreatening name, and using it in supernatural contexts is humorously jarring? 

…..Or is it because Craig is a real demon whose sole purpose is to inspire ridiculous stories about himself? For… nefarious, diabolical purposes? Probably. 

3

i need one of these gigantic dragon trees on my team right now

This is what happens when you let a loser like me use Photoshop…

I’ve just been laughing at the last skit in Sonic Shorts - Volume 6 for a while, and I wanted to use what I know about Photoshop to make my own picture of Zero the Artificial Hedgehog. I spent about two hours making this fanart of this “original” Sonic fan character, and I think it was two hours well spent. (It would have taken me less time, but it took forever to find good images and I had to start over about 30 minutes into making the picture.)

Now you may be thinking, “Jouska, why would you waste two hours of your life to make this?” and the answer to that is really easy! …Because I can! 

“On My Love” -  Edited Scene from Yuri on Ice Episode 5 (Victor’s POV)

Because I’ve always been invested in Victor’s narrative.  Thank you episode 10, it’s all I could ever ask for.

English subtitled version on youtube!

Thanks for watching!

I’m fucking laughing I was trying to look something up on minimus ambus’ wiki page, but I didn’t get very far because the very first line is

fuck man, he sure is, he sure is a tiny dude

now I want an au where everything is the same but everywhere and everytime ultra magnus’ name is used it’s replaced with ‘tiny dude’

Tiny Dude, duly-appointed enforcer of the Tyrest Accord

On the new ASOUE trailer

“This looks too campy”, “I thought this series wasn’t supposed to be a comedy”, “Why is there internet in ASOUE”.

Seriously people? Have we been reading the same book series? Even though it seems pretty scary and serious when you read it as a child, the plus side to experiencing them as an adult is how absolutely hilarious and absurd they are.

Remember the chewing gum in the Miserable Mill? The noodle whip? The Great Unknown? Literally every single one of Olaf’s disguises? Nero’s pigtails? People doing ridiculous things because they are “in”? The Anxious Clown? The Snow Scouts? Esme’s outfits? The Sunny vs Orwell swordfight? The Baudelaires getting mistaken for the white faced women? Chabo the wolf baby? Volunteers Flighting Disease? Sir? Captain Widdershins? The Sunny-Beatrice interactions in The End?

The ridiculousness is such a major part of the series! I have a hard time understanding how could anyone be a fan of the books yet not like the absurdity of them. It’s one of the main reasons WHY the books are so unique and memorable in the first place.

Why does everything have to be serious and edgy and bland-looking? We have enough of that stuff already. There is undoubtedly a dark , heartbreaking side to the books that couldn’t be shown in the trailer cause, you know, spoilers. 

BTW, the script is written BY THE AUTHOR HIMSELF, not to mention that he’s also the producer? Are people going to complain about him not getting his own series right? And yeah, the books are definitely comedy, just a very unique dark kind of it, with some mystery and drama in the mix. (Sorry if my English is bad)

We’re going to pretend I’m not upset JJ won bronze over Otabae Otabek because I still love JJ to pieces and want to talk about this moment in his FS 

At first glance, you’d think “they’re his parents. They’re obligated to greet him with a smile no matter what score he gets.”  And I have to admit that was my first thought too.  But it goes deeper than that. 

Look it’s Leo’s coach! AND LOOK IN THE BACKGROUND I KNOW THAT’S LEO’S ARM First, I want to say that JJ is about 12-14 here, so he’s still growing and developing as a person and as a skater.  As egotistical as he is, you can’t help but feel for him for wanting a certain image.  He has a vision and he wants to execute it.  As corny as “JJ Style” sounds, it’s something he came up with, and he’s proud of the idea. 

And now look at her facial expression.  That’s the face of someone who wants to tell you “it’s just not going to work, babe” but doesn’t know how to softly deliver the blow.  In other words, Leo’s coach isn’t sure she wants to run with the “JJ Style” idea, and this most likely causes problems between the two because I see JJ as a very moody person when he doesn’t see eye to eye with people.  Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Like I said before, he’s proud of the idea, and it’s because he feels it captures who he is as a person.  This rejection from Leo’s coach tells him “who you are isn’t going to get you anywhere, so we need to put that idea on the back burner” 

This to me was so heartbreaking.  Maybe it’s just me getting emotional about my favorite dickhead skater, but I really feel for him. He couldn’t even tell Mufasa Celestino what he wanted to do, and he’s getting a hand in his face punctuated by a “first of all, say, ‘yes.’” 

Keep in mind that JJ here is about the same age as Yurio, and, for the second time, he’s being told that who he is isn’t going to get him anywhere.  Which is the same thing Leo’s coach was getting at, but what’s different about Celestino is that he actually tells him “first of all, say ‘yes’” meaning “it’s my way or the highway, got it?” 

Which makes this line and the first one from JJ’s father make more sense 

I initially thought it was odd that JJ’s parents were his coaches, but now I see that it couldn’t have been easy for them to see their son so disheartened by every coach’s comment about “JJ Style.”  When you remember that the Leroys are famous ice dancers, it makes more sense that they would want their son to skate with his whole heart and not just cater to the whims of his coach(es).  

JJ’s father might be speaking as a parent in this moment, but it’s because he and his wife know how much “JJ Style” means to their son.  At the end of the day, they care about his happiness more than how he performs on the ice, which is a complete 180 from how Leo’s coach and Celestino were portrayed in the flashback. 

mystrade in thirty different AU settings (x):

  •   [30/30] TESCO AU

As far as young Sherlock Holmes is concerned, Tesco is absolutely perfect for running experiments. It’s full of stuff he can use and he can always be sure Mycroft will rather just pay for everything than show up personally in that kind of establishment.

Sadly, Sherlock doesn’t consider one of most annoying Tesco employees - Greg Lestrade, who either is taking his job way too seriously or has a crush on Mycroft. Sherlock finds both options equally disgusting.

anonymous asked:

You're totally right about us missing a Sam snark-fest while he was labelling the room, bc I'm pretty sure when Dean's watching ScoobyDoo there's a lamp next to the bed labelled 'ANOTHER LAMP' like wow OK Sam. Also interesting to note is that while emphasis was put on the lightstick lamp, the other lamp is the regular DRESS lamp. Kinda almost masculine vs feminine lamps... I just think it's great that light can come from lamps of all shapes&sizes. It's all valid. Like male sirens. Just a thought

I was cracking up about the post-its because of this, went to look, totally over-shot the part of the episode I was looking for, and caught Rowena moving the labels around just to be petty about Sam being rude to her

^ that chair in the corner

Anyway proving Sam is hilariously petty is way more important than meta to me so I carried on looking and

Have I mentioned how much I love Sam Winchester today? I’m also cracking up that he felt the need to label the art “Art” which is probably a type of art all by itself. Like you could find this in a gallery and be “yeah okay” and wonder what the statement the artist was trying to make was.

Maybe after all this is over Sam goes on a motel art stealing spree, and puts them in a gallery with his post-it note commentary. I used to be sold on writer!Sam as an endgame but pretentious art weirdo Sam is also perfectly good by me.

I have got to stop before I screencap every single even slightly legible post-it

Although I think this is possibly the pinnacle of Sam’s labelling spree:

You know what now I’m actually trying to focus on answering this all I’ve got is laughing at how the “stick light” is kinda phallic :P It’s also at the desk and a reading lamp, and despite everything I think desks are still seen as kind of masculine spaces - at least, you’d think they’d be gender neutral enough but between years of patriarchy and the fact you KNOW manufacturers would find some way to make desks girly if they thought women were going to be using them and that’s who they were marketing to, that kind of practical sleek metal design of the lamp is probably something marketers and manufacturers would subconsciously assume was for men… TBH Dean not knowing wtf it was kind of draws attention to its design because it’s not exactly the archetypal light in the same way the bedside lamps looked pretty normal run of the mill lamps. Labelling one “lamp” and the other “another lamp” is like… drawing attention to sexual dimorphism in lamps? Pfft :P 

But yeah even setting aside the entire weight of what the Siren episode meant for Dean, I think it’s neat to revisit it just to point out that Sirens aren’t “all hot chicks” because it leaves the world open for that kind of more thoughtful exploration. If you take it at total face value, the siren episode seems fairly conscientious of toeing the line between gratuitous fanservice and NOT relying on said fanservice by just making it about Dean being needed to be saved from some scantily clad woman who sleeps with him and all that very typical narrative of lustful women ruining men. Which is like, a half credit when that was the entire set up for the episode plus multiple trips to the stripclub, but I suppose you could argue that was another age of the show (THREE ages of the show ago), and perhaps the thing we take away from it should be the unexpected twist on the trope. Like, looking at it with Dean’s total obliviousness, it’s playing off his expectations, because the social stuff is still deeply ingrained in him as one of the layers that is much further down than his memory to go. 

And then we have Sam’s expectations that Dean would be upset by that, like, sorry to break it to you, but Dean’s just like, “huh”, because he’s already ditched HIS personal crap which would make him weird about it. He just takes the sirens how they come :P Pfft.

Whole cities are created in a day where the Builder goes. He’s said to have wandered from the forests years ago. 

Nearly a year TO THE DAY since the last king’s picture! Thank ya’ll for being so patient, now I’m back in the swing of things! 

Hilariously, I had put so much thought and planning into everything I was going to do with this series… and after a year of not being able to pick it back up, I’ve completely forgotten everything. I might have blundered through this a bit, but only because I had half of this drawn before I left. Ryan’s picture is another story completely… we’ll see what happens with that one lol. 


King Michael | King Ray | King Geoff | King Gavin | King Jack | King Ryan | King Jeremy