because i take a million

Airport Battle CACW

I rewatched the airport battle scene and counted up total damages Team Cap did to the Leipzig Airport (in chronological order because I’m cool!! XD). And an additional note, THAT WAS ALL GERMAN PROPERTY! Team Cap came in and trashed an international airport probably resulting in billions of damage costs! Tony came to negotiate and this is what Team Cap did (TO A FUCKING AIRPORT). And I actually care about laws, unlike Steve.

- Wanda dropped at least 15 civilians’ cars onto solid asphalt from about 7 stories high and those cars crashed through the steel bar/gate barriers

- Sam destroyed a help desk inside the terminal

- Steve and Scott helped each other enlarge that “water truck” and it smashed against the concrete and exploded

- Wanda used her magic to throw 2 trucks and something else (it looked like a concrete block or a ramp thing) at Peter

- Wanda used her magic to throw T’Challa into a jetway (severely denting it)

- Steve dropped an entire jetway onto Peter and used his shied to break a support pole

- Scott kicked a bus at T’Challa and Vision (the bus smashed into another truck and a car, also destroying them)

- Scott tore of the wing of an airplane

- Scott kicked two carts full of wooden boxes (probably cargo)

- Scott stepped on a truck

- Scott slapped Rhodey onto a jetway (denting it)

- Scott picked up the entire jetway and swung it at Rhodey, crushing it in the process

- Scott stepped on another truck

- Scott threw Peter onto a pile of wooden boxes (more cargo?)

- Steve and Bucky stole the jet thing and escaped (THAT IS AIRPORT PROPERTY)

- Scott smashed his arm onto the partly destroyed airplane

There’s way more, but that was all I got for now.


Now lets calculate this shit out.

15 cars Wanda dropped- The average cost of a car in 2016 is about $33,560. Now $33,560 times 15 is $503,400 (note that Wanda might have dropped more than 15 cars.

Airport help desk that Sam smashed (including merchandise in the desk)-I dunno how much a help desk is worth but I’ll add $1100 more onto the total costs (I’m being generous, do you have any idea how much window repairs cost)

2 trucks that Wanda thew at Peter-  average cost of a truck in 2016? About $39,000 or so. $39,000 times 2 is $78,000.

Truck Scott and Steve enlarged and exploded- Add $39,000 to damage costs.

Jetway that Wanda threw T’Challa in- This is the same jetway that Scott destroys later so it won’t be counted here.

Jetway Steve dropped on Peter plus the support pole he snapped- One jetway costs about $300,000. Support pole damage add $1000.

Bus that Scott kicked at T’Challa and Vision (the bus smashed into another truck and a car, also destroying them)- Buses costs about from $300,000 to $600,000 each so we’ll just add $500,000. Plus another $33,560 and $39,000 for the car and truck.

Airplane Scott pretty much irreplaceably damaged- One standard commercial  airplane costs between $51,000,000 to $87,000,000. Lets add $70,000,000 to the total damage costs. 

Wooden boxes of cargo- Who knows whats in there? Could be expensive stuff or vegetables. I’m gonna add another $2000 for cargo and box damage. (again, being generous. There were at least 20 wooden boxes)

Truck Scott steps on- add $39,000.

Jetway Scott swung at Rhodey- add $300,000

Another truck Scott steps on- add $39,000.

More cargo- less boxes were destroyed this time though, so we’ll add $1000 more 

Jet that Steve and Bucky stole- technically it wasn’t destroyed so we won’t add any damage costs, but for your information, that’s a felony. 

Scott add more damage to already destroyed plane- It’s destroyed already.

LETS ADD IT UP

$503,400 + $1100 + $78,000 + $39,000 + $300,000 + $1000 +$500,000 + $33,560 + $39,000 + $70,000,000 + $2000 + $39,000 + $1000

EQUALS
$71,537,060 give or take several million bucks (because I was generous) 

Now let’s think a little more. Team Cap has literally no way of paying for all this damage. They are fugitives and if the pool up all their bank savings can maybe cover a third of the costs. 

Now guess who would feel responsible and pay off the the damage even though HE CAME TO NEGOTIATE AND NOT FIGHT?

That’s right, Tony Stark. 

He doesn’t even have to, but Tony would shoulder all the costs for his SHITTY TEAMMATES THAT DON’T GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT HIM. 

(note: I may have gotten some of the costs wrong but you get the point)

(another note: This is just the Leipzig airport. I’m not gonna even think of the damage costs in Bucharest when Steve purposely collapsed a tunnel, hijacked a car, and endangered dozens of civilians. Or in Berlin when Steve had attacked and severely injured several of members of the German police and military and illegally trespassed in German territory. Or in Johannesburg when Wanda purposely used her magic to manipulated Bruce and set the Hulk onto heavily populated city streets. Or the disaster in Lagos. Or Wanda’s involvement in the creation of Ultron that lead the the tragedy in Sokovia.) 

Peace out Tumblrers!

anonymous asked:

do you have any fave jason writers? :)

I’m assuming you mean fic writers. I don’t read extensively at this point, i’m too busy writing. 

Below are the authors of the WIP fics/series I’m currently following (which is about the extent of my fic reading these days as I am consumed with my own work): 

@lananiscornerLananiA3O - Arkham series is underappreciated, go read it right now. Mind the warnings.

@lanternwisp / LanternWisp - Nest and Cages series is A+, go read it now. 

@comebackolivia / GoAwayOlivia - Her Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw fic is pretty popular for a reason, go read it now. 

@commandthetidesAestuumMaris - is doing a Jason Never Dies AU, it’s very promising, go read it now. 

@one of the arkham knight urls ffs i can’t tell u all apart / i kid it’s @akrhamknight / rredhoods - has a series of one-shots going that is A+, go read it now. 

I also have a fic recs tag. 

Disclaimer:  i deliberately chose to rec writers this way, as being asked for a ‘fave’ makes me a little anxious so pls take this list the way it is intended and not an all time favs list.

advice for the signs based on people i know
  • aries: when under heavy fire, deflecting the bullets into allies isn't always the best idea.
  • taurus: not all your problems can be laughed off or bottled up. the smile is bound to crack, and the jar is bound to overflow. why are you so scared to open up?
  • gemini: don't play games with people. stop sending so many hints and start telling people what you really want.
  • cancer: be more daring. stand up for yourself. try new things. don't be afraid to go after what you really want.
  • leo: at times you can just be a porcupine looking for a hug. learn to let people go if they don't have enough padding, and find people who are more suited to the job.
  • virgo: not everything is a puzzle. even if it were, figuring yourself out is a better place to start than everything else.
  • libra: what you're looking for isn't always far away. take a closer look at what's around you and you might be surprised by the chances that are already laying at your feet.
  • scorpio: nothing is permanent. when you're caught in a storm with no turning back, adjust your rain boots, zip up your coat, and just push forward.
  • sagittarius: your problems will not fix themselves. don't complain about how they aren't getting better if you refuse to work on them yourself.
  • capricorn: find the balance. don't throw yourself into only one thing at a time and neglect all the other things around you during it. sometimes you need to take breaks.
  • aquarius: numbness can't kill, but when you can't feel a severed arm, it can be a problem. start thinking about your feelings, and start thinking about the feelings of others around you. keep the good intentions, ditch the blindfold.
  • pisces: coping mechanisms can kill. stop running away from everything that troubles you. being a hypocrite hurts others more than it does yourself. take a deep breath. some things take time.
1D Media Limited 2015 Year End

The 2015 year end financials have been released.

Once again the band did not take their share distribution at the end of 2015, probably because at year end they were waiting for the final numbers on Zayn’s share distribution, which was finalized in March 2016.

The net profit in 2015 was £30,658,901, down about £4 million from 2014.

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“gay ppl don’t ever feel bad about being gay?? just like i don’t feel bad about being straight lol”
Let Me Tell You Why That’s A Load Of Shit, Janet

5

Emma also watched a movie with Bri before heading home and I couldnt resist taking a million pictures because they’re both so gorgeous im gunna cry

4

Root/Shaw Parallels: 4x11

‘Die for something that you love’

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Kokichi Ouma icons!

My girlfriend @uso-da-yo wanted me to make her a set of Ouma icons so here they are !!! 

Unless you have received permission from @uso-da-yo, you are not allowed to use these for your own.

These are dumb because I made a million dumb edits but just take it

These icons contain sprite spoilers for NDRV3, so please proceed with caution.

Icon count: 51

It is also posted on imgur for easier download! http://imgur.com/a/1RbdH

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anonymous asked:

WHAT ARE YOUR BUNS? Apart from ridiculously adorable obvz

They are CINNAMON ROLLS

(This is an unforgivably long post with pictures of stupidly adorable rabbits, so press J to skip it on your dash if you have no soul)

This is Gus:

Gus is a double maned lionhead, and she’s about 4 years old. I hate her so much because LOOK AT HER. When we first got her, we were told that she was a boy, hence the name. When we took her to get neutered, the vet broke the shocking news. 

Also, she’s a dick. She doesn’t like being handled a lot, but that’s mostly because she’s the dominant one of the pair and she gets worried that you’re going to challenge her - she accepts me as being dominant to her, but no-one else (which means that I’m the one who has been granted the ability to give her HEAD RUBS, which she is obsessed with). As a lionhead, she needs grooming all the time, as she has a tendency to get straw stuck in her fur, which looks hilarious but is not good at all for a number of reasons. 

It’s really hard to get a nice picture of Gus for several reasons: from the front she’s all nose, from the side she’s all eye, and she’s also a lazy fuck and enjoys pooing right where she’s sitting, so nearly all photos of her have got poo in them, which is a great photographic focal point. 

This is Emilia:

She’s a dutch rabbit, and she’s about the same age as her bffl. She is also a fucking cutie pie. Like, it’s ridiculous. I cannot deal with her. I actually can’t. Sometimes, I just go outside and have to rest my hand on her head. It has to happen. Her favourite things in life include eating, sitting on the food so that Gus can’t eat it, pushing all the straw out of the hutch, chewing on things that really don’t need to be chewed (the hutch, my headphones, my trousers), chattering with her little mouth, sticking her weirdly long tongue out in photos, having her ears scratched, and pretending to be a Christmas pudding. We had to take her to the vet recently and the vet told us that she was the nicest rabbit they’d ever met, and I don’t think I have ever been so proud (not even on my graduation). She loves being around people, and yesterday I was giving Gus a little ear rub and Emilia closed her eyes and started chattering (the rabbit equivalent of purring) because she knew that it would be her turn soon. I nearly cried.

Getting a nice picture of Emilia is equally difficult, mostly because she’s usually either eating or sitting down in that really horrible way she does, where she sort of sticks her head back into her chin and half closes her eyes. On the plus side, that means she’s feeling relaxed and trusting, but on the negative side, it looks like she’s wearing a bib made of her own fat.

They are ridiculous and sometimes I wonder just how I’m supposed to deal with them when they do shit like sit really close together so that I can rub both their heads at the same time, or play really loudly with their jingly ball at the middle of the night, or pick up sticks with their little mouths and carry them around, but I am coping.

No

No

No

NO

4

Christmas Rhett: 2008 vs. 2014

"Why are you in my bed?" (jswazz) part 1

I wake up to a very annoying buzzing noise that just wont stop. My head is pounding and this noise just isnt helping. I roll over onto my side and cover my head with my pillow hoping to be able to drown out the nose and to my surprise it works.

Not long after the buzzing noise is back and i grown loudly. Realizing its my phone i reach for it on the night stand and answer the call without bothering to check who it is.

“What do you want i was sleeping.” i groan into the phone and i hear a familiar chuckle.

“Wow y/n your grumpy in the morning. Did swazz not do you right last night? By the way where is he? He was supposed to meet me in the studio 2 hours ago.” Nate says to me and i groan again.

“Why in the world would i know where he’s at, it wasn’t my turn to babysit. Why dont you call him?” i ask him annoyed.

“I did call him, why dont you look and see who’s phone your on, and i figured you would know where he is since i caught y'all sucking face at the party last night.”

“What are you talking about Nate?”

I sit up and hold out the phone and confirm that it is indeed not mine. I look over and there is john laying stomach down in my bed, completely naked, with only some of the comforter covering his lower half and Im only in my my bra.

“What the actual fuck happened last night?” i ask out loud hoping Nate would be able to shine some light in on why my bestfriend is butt naked in my bed.

“I dont know for sure, the party was dying down and everyone had left. You and swazz was completely wasted in the kitchen making out so i left and caught a uber home. Do you not remember anything?”

By this point im freaking out because no, i remember nothing besides taking like a million shots and loosing 2 beer pong games. Everything after that is a blur.

“Nate I’ll have swazz call you later we have something important to talk about.” I hurry up and hang up on him before he has time to tell me anything else and i wake up swazz.

“John!” I shake his shoulder and he doesn’t budge. “John!!” I say much louder this time and he starts to mumble.

“Mhmm what baby” he says is in his raspy morning voice and i can’t deny how sexy he sounds. I shake my head to myself and remember the task at hand.

“John get up we need to talk!” I tell him in a worried voice. He rolls over onto his side so he’s facing me and he wraps his arm around my waist.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a sweet tone

“Why are you in my bed… Naked? What happened last night?”

“You remember, we were playin beer pong and you kept telling me how you thought I was sexy.” he says to me as if I’m joking. I remove his arm from around me and pull the blanket up to cover myself.

“No, John I really don’t fucking remember a thing!” I yell at him with out realizing how mean that came out. Realizing that I’m being serious John sits up and stretches before looking me in my eyes.

“We were both really drunk after the last game of beer pong ended and everyone was basically gone by this point. We had been flirting the whole night so I though you didn’t mind what was happening. We were standing in your kitchen and i was telling you that I was too drunk to drive and i told you I should stay with you. I promise you consented to everything that happened and I swear I wouldn’t have even touched you if I knew exactly how drunk you were. I would never hurt you on purpose y/n! Honestly!” By time he’s done talking he’s out of breath and looking at me with worry in his eyes.

I groan to myself and rub my temples hoping to sooth the pain caused by my ridiculous hang over. Im trying so hard to remember something but I just keep drawing a blank.

“Baby are you mad at me?”

“Do you regret it?”

“Y/n talk to me please!” He says each sentence with out really giving me time to answer.

“No John I’m not mad I’m just confused. And how am I supposed to know if I regret it if I dont even know what happened!” I say through gritted teeth annoyed at the fact that he’s just not getting that I don’t even remember how we got in this situation.

I cover my ears with my hands hoping to shut out the world and possibly remember what happened.
__________

{10 hours earlier}

“Ha! You loose again Y/n!” Swazz yells at me over excitedly as the ping pong ball lands in my last cup meaning I lost 2 rounds of beer pong and he automatically wins our bet.

“You said 2 out of 3, I do believe you owe me a prise baby girl.” John sticks his tongue out and licks his lips seductively as he walks toward me while I back my self up to the counter.

The deal was whoever won got to do whatever they wanted, to the other person. John had been flirting with me and teasing me all night. I made the bet believing I would be able to win the beer pong game and i would finally be able to get him back for teasing me all night.

I invited the boys and some of my girlfriends over for a small get together to celebrate my sisters birthday, but all Nate had to do was send out a few texts before basically all of Los angeles was in my house.

Realizing I just fucked myself by backing myself in to a corner I sigh out loud.

” You don’t play fair at all y/n. You’ve been prancing around me in this short ass dress all night and you know what it’s doing to me.“ a small giggle escaped my lips because John has caught on to my little game.

Yes I’m not naive I can see the way he’s been looking at me since he arrived earlier and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t using it to my advantage. But John isn’t innocent either. All night he has been rubbing on my thighs and my butt and whispering dirty words in my ear every chance he got. I was the only girl he was worried about all night and that just gave me an ego boost.

John holds me by my side’s tightly and presses me into the kitchen counter so I cant go anywhere. Im drunk. There is no doubting that. But John has this hungry look on his face and I’m too excited to find out what he has on his mind to tell him to stop.

He places a wet kiss to my neck biting me lightly to tease me. I reach my arms up and wrap them around his neck. One of his hands reach down to my thighs right below where my dress stops. He uses one of his knees to separate my legs while he palms my thighs.

"You know, I think I’m a little to drunk to drive home. I should probably sleep here just to be safe.” he says in a deep tone of voice and winks at me while his hand slowly gets closer and closer to where I need him the most.

I nod my head at him silently answering his question. “Yes, I deffently dont want anything bad happing to you.” I tell him with a shaky voice.

John looks me up and down, from head to toe and curses under his breath “Y/n do you realise every guy at this party tonight wanted to see what was under this pretty little skirt of yours?” he asked me seductively and i shake my head ‘no’ at him.

“Well it’s true, I had to put a few of them in there place and let them known that if anyone was going to be seeing what was under this dress it was me.”

Ever so lightly he rubbed him palm along my clothed pussy. I moan lightly and gain some confidence to speak up.

“I didn’t realise that. You were the only guy I was worried about.” I scrape my nails along the hair line on his neck and he let’s out a growl.

Finally he starts to Palm me harder at my words and i grab him by his face and pull his lips to mine. I kiss him greedily and moan against his lips. He pulls my panties to the side and swiftly inserts a finger into my heat.

“God y/n your so wet.” he said barely audible. I can tell he’s extremely turned on by how turned on i am. He starts moving his finger in and out of me while doing a come here motion to rub against my g-spot. It feels so good and I’m finally getting some kind of relief relief but One finger isn’t enough for me.

I moan in his ear as his thumb comes in contact with my clit. “More John, please.” I am begging at this point.

He quickly removes his hand and stops all contact and I whine. He laughs and evil laugh and looks at me closely.

“You’ve been teasing me all night, your crazy if you think I’m going to let you get off that easily.”

He tugs my panties down my legs quickly and i step out of them. He reaches down and grips me from behind my knees and instructs me to jump and i do as I’m told.

He lifts me onto the counter top and stands between my legs. I can feel his boner pressed up against my thigh. He kisses me passionately for a minute before I hear a cough from behind us. I look over John’s shoulder to see Nate standing there awkwardly. He scratches the back of his neck and speaks up.

“I’m the last one here, everyone’s gone. Not that you really care.” he says stoping and starting again. “My uber is here, just wanted to let you know that the coast is clear so you can do whatever it is your doing.”

John groans angrily into my neck. “With all due respect Nate, get the fuck out!” he yells and i laugh lightly at him. Nate throws up his hands in defeat and laughs with me. Without saying anything else he’s out the door. As soon as John hears the door shut he’s spreading my legs and kissing my pussy with open mouth kisses. I moan loudly, not expecting that and wrap my hands in his hair.

“Im glad you let your hair grow back out. I like having something to pull on.” I say to him and he sucks in my clit harshly and I realize it’s his way of telling me to shut up.

He continues his torture to my clit and sticks two fingers inside of me rubbing at my g-spot. It doesn’t take long before I’m a writhing mess on my counter top. He looks up at me through hooded eyes and instructs me to cum and i do.

He stands up straight again and just holds me till i have come back from my orgasm. I reach up and pull his shirt up over his head and admire his tattoos. I always thought they made him just that much more sexier if that was possible. He unbuttons his pants and pulls them off. He pulls my dress up over my head so I’m left in my bra and he’s in his boxers.

“Here or the bedroom?” he asks me.

“Bedroom” I say quickly and before I know it he’s picking me up and heading towards my room. He throws me down onto the bed and crawls over me. He starts kissing me again, and I find his boxers and Palm him through them ever so lightly just like he did to me.

A/n: if you know me then you know I can never right a simple smut and it always goes over the character limit. If this gets good feed back I’ll post part 2 tonight 😈

title: Quiet

summary: Because Papa is all about the little gestures…

pairing: sasusaku as gross parents and poor sarada

Somehow, I envisioned my father to be a much more flashy person. Afterall, he’s defeated all those villains and achieved so many amazing things.

But the truth is that Papa prefers boring nights watching TV under the kotatsu. He likes to drink tea and to read books. Sometimes, if Mama asks, he’ll take us all out to dinner. When I ask Boruto, he says that his dad isn’t much different. 

“My old man’s always so wiped out from work that he barely does anything at home,” he complains, arms crossed behind his head as he squints. 

“Mama, I thought you said Papa was cool,” I complain one night after dinner. Mama is scrubbing the dishes. I’m pretending to help her while Papa watches the evening news. Mama only laughs as she picks at a stubborn patch of rice in one of our bowls.

“Sarada, trust me. Your Papa is very cool. But also one of the biggest dorks I know.”

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