because i put it off forever

When my friend was a kid she used put on high heels and practice running around and jumping off stuff because Catwoman could do it. Now she can practically sprint in stilettos. Like…I’ve seen her chase after animals and run up hills and climb shit with 0% hindrance, and I will forever and always admire the hell out of her for it because when asked to choose between practicality and fashion she literally just chose “no be Catwoman” instead, and for some reason that actually worked.

To my first love,
I don’t think you will even recognize that these words are for you. I knew you didn’t think you were beautiful, or even relatively attractive, but I would have loved to spend the rest of my life convincing you of your perfection. Your flaws were what defined you. Your strength in the face of all your adversities, all the abuse you endured, inspired me. Your beauty was unconventional and every day I have gone without it, without you, tore my soul apart. Years have passed and we’re both adults now. The façade of childhood has left me. I no longer believe in the things I once fought for. I no longer recognize who I was with you. I doubt I ever cross your mind. Truth be told, you rarely cross mine. But, you still do. You continue to have this hold over me, a hold that forces me to compare all my lovers—past, present, and future—to you. Why? Our love was imperfect, abusive, tarnished. We held each other’s hearts in our hands and repeatedly poked and prodded and exploited the weaknesses we found until one of us cried for mercy. We reduced the other to tears on more occasions than I care to revisit. I wished you nothing but happiness when you left me. You wished for me to feel every suffering this world had to offer. You wished for me to feel as dirty, broken, alone, betrayed, as you felt when our truths were revealed. I was fucked up, you’re right, but you were as well. You are not without blame here. We were both too damaged to ever be good for each other. Your wish came true and for years, I have lived with a searing pit in my stomach. As I sit here and write these words to you, I realize that you are the reason I am like this. You are the reason I am the way I am. You are to blame for my cold, unfeeling ways. I may have loaded the gun, I may have pressed it into your hands, and I may have aimed it at my heart, but you are the one who pulled the trigger. I wrote this to put you out of my mind forever. I wrote this for the closure you never granted me; the closure I used to repeatedly seek through apologies and professions of guilt while you turned your back on me, admonishing me with threats if I did not disappear from your life. I wrote this because it’s been over four years since we met and two since you left and I still cannot get my thoughts off you. You ruined me, we ruined each other, but you recovered quicker. I am leaving you on this page. I am leaving the memories, the sleepless nights, the love, and the abuse here, in hopes of finally being free.
Regrettably yours,
A.H.
—  the-hasslehaas, It’s been a year since I wrote this and the freedom has come.
MAKE UP TIPS 💋

Hi y'all, so I’ve been doing make up for years for proms and weddings and engagement photos and such and thought I would offer some tips because I love make up and maybe not everyone knows these! Obvi keep in mind everyone is different and these may not work for you…

- Try Nivea’s Sensitive Post Shave Balm for Men as a primer. A little goes a long way and rub it in until it gets tacky

- There is literally no reason to buy mascara from high end brands and I’m a high end whore. My favorite is the Clump Crusher water resistant

- If you can’t decide between two foundation colors, choose the one that’s lighter. Bronzer can fix that shit quick

- The “buy concealer that is 56 shades too light” trend needs to die. One or two shades is plentyyyyy you don’t wanna look like a reverse raccoon and flash photography only makes it worse

- BAKE your under eyes and if you’re hoeing tbh bake your entire face. Message me if you don’t know what baking is

- Two best foundations I’ve ever used are the Too Faced Born This Way and Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra 24hr

- Stop applying your make up with your hands ladies pls buy a beauty blender and get it damp

- Take the foundation off your lips once you’ve set it bc if you just put lip product over it it’ll bunch up in the corners of your mouth

- Sigma has great brushes and shed less than any of my high end brushes. I’d definitely recommend splurging and getting a full set of them

- Do not base your purchases off of sellout YouTubers that are getting paid to say everything they’re saying

- Buy a setting spray and spray your eyeshadow brush w it before applying shimmery eye shadows and spray your whole face with it when you’re done

- I see girls on here all the time saying not to wear falsies which I think is absolutely insane but my falsies advice is start with individuals and work up to strips. That’s what I did

- Exfoliate your face and use the Biore black head strips on your nose for smoother make up application

- Don’t leave your lower lash line bare. I see this so much and it’s super weird looking. Do a little eyeshadow and mascara at the least to complete the whole look

- Avoid matte lipstick/liquid lips unless you’re sure your lips are smooth hydrated and snatched otherwise they will look like a butthole in 15 minutes

- W/ eyebrows and make up: less is more girl. ESPECIALLY from a man’s perspective

- If you’re going to put a base shadow down before doing your eyeshadow look (which I’d recommend), avoid putting it anywhere you’ll put shimmer and instead fill that space with a cream eyeshadow or more primer to make that shimmer popppp
- Wash your beauty blender every time you use it or it will grow mold I promise

- Buxom’s lip glosses are the absolute best. They are so high quality, smell good, last FOREVER, and tingle on your lips like mint

- Clean your make up brushes as often as you can (I wish I did more than I do) not only because it’s hygienic but because they will apply SO MUCH BETTER

- If your eyebrows are always rubbing off, invest in a waterproofing liquid to put over them. NYX has a cheap one that really works

- Make sure to go over the line of your falsies with black eyeliner to hide the glue. I don’t care if the glue is “clear” or “black” it’s visible

- If you can’t find a contour color that’s cool toned enough try an eyeshadow!

- Put tons of highlight on your cupid’s bow it’s so cute in my opinion and always gets lots of compliments

- TAKE YOUR MAKE UP OFF EVERY NIGHT. DO NOT SAVE YOUR MAKE UP FOR THE NEXT DAY. Some girls will fight me on this but imo no make up is cuter than gross make up and it’s so bad for your skin

- If your eyes are always watering your shit off get some anti-allergy or anti-dryness (whichever you think you have) eye drops

- You can exfoliate your lips before lipstick application easily with honey and sugar. Do this before putting on foundation and such. If you’re a bougie bitch you can buy scrubs from places like Lush

- I’m convinced that Burts Bees is the only chapstick I’ve ever used that didn’t make me end up needing chapstick more than I did in the first place

- If you don’t have time to wash off your make up then just use a make up wipe! The Kirkland brand ones are my all time faves because they don’t sting my eyes or leave a residue on my face

- Stop over washing your face. It makes it produce more oil to compensate and it could be why you have acne

- You don’t need to pay to get your brows waxed/threaded if you just pluck the spare 2 or 3 brows that grow out of place each day. You’ll keep your shape, save money, and your brows will always look good

- If you don’t use eyeshadow primer please buy some and watch your entire eyeshadow collection transform. If you can’t afford it but have concealer that’s second best and still works well

I could go on forever and might make a part two but I’m tired now. Probably going to make a make up favorites list by product category soon!

Message me with any make up questions ever because I love blabbing about it! Spread the luv and happy face beating!! 💄

happy birthday, our blue boy

lance thinks no one remembers about his birthday. he doesn’t mention it because they have more important things like saving the universe. so lance sits quietly in his room, repeating the names of his parents, siblings, nephews. he tries to remember their faces and panics a little when he needs more than usually to remember his little niece’s laugh and the way her eyes would light up whenever she talked about something she loved. 

he used to have a picture of all of them from his mother’s birthday but he lost it on one of the missions, so now all he had was his imagination and he was scared that they look different in his mind than they really do. 

when the clock hits midnight, lance mutters a quiet “happy birthday to me”, but then the alarm roars through the castle. lance runs out of his room but he can’t find anyone else. suddenly he hears hunk’s scream, he was shouting lance’s name from one of the hangars. blue’s hangar.

it doesn’t take lance long to get there because despite what everyone else thinks, he’s quick to react when he knows that something is wrong. but when he enters the hangar, his lion is where it always was. it’s dark and suddenly very quiet. 

“what is it, girl? where’s hunk?” lance asks, putting one hand on blue, but there’s no answer. lately he got a lot better at communicating with her, so it’s weird that she doesn’t want to talk to him, especially on his birthday. it’s not like she knew, lance was sure even hunk was too busy to actually remember.

after few seconds, blue opens her mouth. a clear message for lance, get in here. so he does, still not sure what to make of all this. the inside of his lion doesn’t light up the way it usually does when lance walks inside but lance is sure he can hear something…

“surprise!” the loud scream is in a perfect sync with the lights that suddenly burst around lance. the boy is so shocked he almost falls on his ass when he sees his friends in front of him.

hunk, pidge, allura, shiro, coran. even keith, despite their loud argument that happened after yesterday’s mission. lance looks from one face to another, feeling the tears forming in his eyes. they remembered.

“you guys even have a cake!” lance squeals with excitement, blinking rapidly to make sure it’s not a dream. but no, there it is, in allura’s hands. a cake that looks almost like the ones he got for his previous birthdays.

“we didn’t really know much about the traditions on earth but the other paladins helped us a lot,” coran explains cheerfully. 

and lance lets the tears fall because they didn’t have to do anything. they were fighting zarkon and the galra could attack at any moment, but his friends remembered and did all this… for him. he wants to tell them he doesn’t deserve this, that he wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t remember. but he can’t utter a single word, he just stares at them and feels like the love and happiness will flood out of him any minute now.

hunk steps out first, holding something bright in his hands. “we know how much you miss the earth. we all do, but i’m pretty sure you want to go back the most,” he starts, looking at his best friend. “coran told me you miss the sunlight the most, so… it’s not really the same but me and pidge made this for you from the quintessence. it’s not as hot as the sun, but it’s always warm and the light looks very similar,” hunk explains. 

then he puts his gift in lance’s hands and lance shivers. it’s a small ball made of glass with quintessence inside. it’s bright, yellow and so warm. yes, it’s not like the sun, but it’s still more than lance could have asked for. he couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually saw the sunlight, but what he held in his hands right now was probably the closest he’ll get to it in a long time.

“thank you guys,” he sniffles, half-hugging hunk and ruffling pidge’s hair. he can’t stop looking at the yellow light shining through his fingers, he’s afraid that if he’ll turn his gaze away, it will burn out and lance will be in the darkness again.

but then keith comes closer, awkwardly clearing his throat and scratching his neck with his free hand. in another one he holds something small. at first keith’s not saying anything, he just pushes something into lance’s chest so the taller boy has to give hunk his small sun to take what keith gave him. he looks down and breath catches in his throat. 

it’s a picture of lance’s family, the one lance thought he had lost forever. it was put in a blue frame with little stars on it. the picture was worn out because lance always kept it folded in a pocket of his jeans or tucked under his uniform, but it was right there and lance couldn’t believe his eyes.

“how did you-”

“i found it,” keith cuts him off in a rush and when lance looks up he can see a blush on his cheeks. keith doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “one time when you got off your lion, you dropped this and i found it. i wanted to give it back but we were all tired after the mission, so i just left it in my room and kind of… forgot about it? yeah, and then we were in this space mall and i saw this frame, so i thought that if you put your picture in it, you wouldn’t lose it again, and then hunk mentioned your birthday and…” keith rambles, unable to stop. lance hears shiro’s chuckle from behind but all he can see is keith.

keith who usually fights with lance, keith who acts like he doesn’t care about anything, keith who actually notices more than anyone. keith who, in some ways, brought lance’s family back to him when lance thought they’re so far away. lance pulls keith into a hug, squeezing him so hard he’s sure a little more pressure would break keith’s ribs. it’s awkward at first because keith isn’t used to being hugged. but it’s not that keith doesn’t like hugs, lance knows that for a fact, he’s just touch-starved, so after a moment he returns the hug, relaxing a little.

“thank you so much,” lance chokes out, trying to get a hold of his own emotions because damn it, he’s not a crybaby.

keith pats his back. “don’t sniffle on my jacket.”

lance laughs and pushes keith away, and then shiro tells him to make a wish and blow the candles, so lance does. he closes his eyes and thinks “go back home with all of my friends after defeating zarkon”, then he blows all of the candles.

“happy birthday, our sharpshooter,” shiro says, hugging lance.

and when lance looks at their faces again, sees their smiles, hears their laugh, he thinks that it is. it is a happy day. he turns to thank them again, and that’s when he hears blue’s voice in his head, soft and caring. she says,

“happy birthday, our blue boy.”

lance thinks it sounds almost like his mamá. it’s almost like he’s… home.

Go. See. Wonder. Woman.

Originally posted by dceus

So obviously I love Marvel with all my heart, but I got to see Wonder Woman and it was utterly phenomenal.  Literally, take everyone you know – men, women, children – but especially any little girls in your life because it was absolutely incredible.

Originally posted by kataera

There is absolutely nothing like watching hundreds of women of all shapes, sizes and color riding into battle on horseback, in armor, kicking ass.  Nothing.

Originally posted by robinwrightwebsite

I couldn’t stop crying because it was honestly just so beautiful, seeing so many powerful, strong women in one movie.

Originally posted by comicbookdaily

I could talk about this movie for forever, but I won’t because I have a massive essay that I’ve put off writing.  

Originally posted by dceumovies

But seriously.  

Originally posted by dcfilms

Please go see this movie.

honestly this is a lot messier than i would’ve liked (thats what happens when you get lazy and use your sketch as lineart smh) but I havent drawn these boys in forever and I didn’t wanna put off finishing this because I know myself and I would’ve never finished it if I did so I finished it now!!

anyway I love them both a lot and I can’t wait to see more of them in the last jedi!

6

I’ve been meaning to post more photos;;;

I shared the selfie of these cosplays on my Overwatch side-blog, but here are some more I got from the photographer at Anime Oasis I always go to <3

The Zenyatta design is courtesy of @putridvodka Please go check out their Hidden!AU Genyatta comic, it’s amazingly well-written and adorable.

And I’m still not finished/want to do an even better job next time I put it all on because it was a bitch haha.  The orb was a bit of a mess because of reasons explained below. And please pay no mind to the wrap on my arm;;; I have some wrist issues from my job but it was falling off because of the wire used to hold the orb up.

This costume/day/everything will forever be incredibly important to me, because it’s the day I proposed to my wonderful partner (the ring is hiding out in that orb).  Our Overwatch group are some of our best friends and I clued them all in on it and they helped me keep myself together (I was a manic mess, somehow my fiancé was non-the-wiser to my plans).

I’ll share the video where the proposal happens in a bit so stay tuned~

Photography: Red Zone Fandom (Tim Boothby)

Zenyatta: Me
Genji: @daintyalpacacosplay
Hanzo: @haelkei
Mei: Stardust Cosplay
D.Va: Kamryn (I don’t think he has a cosplay name yet)
Gabriel Reyes: Deux Lunes/BubzBunny Cosplay 

the last time i did a ff was back in december when i hit 1k and here i am in april making my follow forever for 6.5k?! this is so so crazy and to celebrate that, i’d like to thank my mutuals who are listed down below! Give them a follow because i love all of them :)

(i was gonna do a ff for 5k but i put it off and then ka blam i have 6.5k)
(this took me three hours) (again)

Keep reading

Hi guys! My follower goal on tumblr has always been 8k, because Daenerys Targaryen’s army started off with 8,000 Unsullied and I always thought it would be cool to lowkey have an army of followers and yes Taylor is Drogon lolol so here we are!! To thank everybody I have put together my very first follow forever, which is a list of my absolute favorite blogs. If I forgot to add you to the list I am so sorry, it’s super tedious to make this so I probably forgot a few people but I still love you a lot! Anyways thanks for putting up with the mess of a blog lol ily also if your name is bolded then you have a special place in my heart <3

A-D

@adorkablepenguins @alexxdanverrs @allltoowells @alltaywell @altoowelll @alyshiareads @annavbeth @badd-blood @beautifulltragic @belleswift17 @bisexual-pirate-queen @blank-space-swiftie @blankspace17 @bqllarke @burnendbreak @burnttoast-sunday @cafesandwednesdays @carouselofswift @cateyedtillidie @centralperkswift @cleanslates @cxffeerain @daenerys-stormborn @daenerystargaryen @daenerysvazyol @daerjohn @dailydanytargaryen @dailygotgirls @dailyladylyrics @dailypotter @dailysupergirl @dancingstarlight @dancinroundthekitchen @danewromantics @danisontonfire @danytargaryens @deadgwen @dearlyjohn @diagonally @dianaprincedaily @dontwanttofly @dreamimpossibleswift @dreamingincrediblethings @drogons @drunkonjealousy @dumbledore

E-H

@emiliaclakve​ @emma-watson​ @enchantedxwoods​ @enchnated​ @etherealpondsx​ @ewatson​ @expectogranger​ @fallingleaveswift​ @fantasticbeasts​ @fearzless​ @feministapril​ @femmetay​ @fighting-dragons-with-swift​ @finallycleaan​ @fishingboatproceeds​ @forgetyouaslongasilive​ @fragilelittleflamee​ @fyiceandfire​ @gilmore-swift​ @ginevraspotter @ginnyeweasley​ @ginnyweaslcy​ @goldentrio​ @gracefulswift​ @gryffinoir​ @heartbreak-nationa-lanthem​ @herhmione​ @hlygrounds​ @holdontospinningaround12​ @hugeselenatorswiftie​ @huntersfoxxes​ @hygtg​

I-N

@iknowplacesgranger @iseeitallnowthatyouregone @itsathugstory @iwishyouwouid @jonsnows @jtmaster13 @juicedelishblr @juleslovesbooks @jumpthenfalls @karazorelgifs @karliekloss @kayloraesthetic @khaleese @kirasscott @klossier @ladysansa @lannisten @lilypotthr @littletownswiftie @longlovelive @lovetheplayers @lyricalswift13 @magicfolk @mcmlxxxix-ts​ @meraudurs​ @merliviaswift​ @mermaeids​ @messofadreamrs​ @miones​ @misswift​ @moana-daily​ @mohanas​ @mosaic-broken-hearts​ @mosaicbroknhearts​ @mulandaily​ @nanciiwheeler​ @nerville​ @newrcmantlcs​ @ninetay89​ @nineteeneightynine​ @notaprincessimyourqueen​

O-S

@ofbeinghonests @ofcuriousmind @officialtaylornation @ohsoshiftyswifty @ootofthewoods@pcteparker @penguinoswift @persaphonc @plaidshlrtdays @pottern @purpleswift @pxculiarose @qarvatipatil @ravehclaw @recordbreakingtaylor @riptide-hightide @rising-on-higher @rosemural @rubyredwisp @runningscared @scottmccallied @screamingcoluor @selenasgomez @selenaslyrics @shakeitoff @shakeitoutofthewoods @shaking-off-the-bad-blood @she-so-swift @silencesquitethisloud @slightly-asian @snowswift @sparklyfearlessgirl @starkjon @storysofus @strandedbrickcastle @sublimeswift @sunsetbabe @sweeter-than-fiction @swift-tings @swiftful-thinking13 @swifthales @swiftlyreading @swiftlyromantic @swiftscastles

T-Z

@t-swift @tayaholic @tayelorswift @tayisbulletproof @taylloralisonswift @tayloralisionswift @taylorgoswiftly @taylorshwift @taylorsklossylips @taylorswifft @taylorswift @taylorswiftismypatronus @taylorswiifts @taylorthebaelor @taylrswyft @taylurswift @tayswiftnation @teardropsinwonderland @tf1989 @thatwasthenightthingschanged @the-ravenclaw-swiftie @theloveofswift @theprettylights @thiislove @thiselove @thisloveisgoodbadours @timestoodstill-andihadyou @todaywasafairytay @tswiftdaily @tswiftyaussie @tylorswft @tyrgaryens @walkeddowntheblock @washolygroundd @wcnderstrucked @wealmostbrokeup @weretroubles @wilderdreamer @wishfulthinkingswift @withswift @wizardingsociety @wolfsdragon @wonderlland13 @wonderlsnd @wonders-woman @wonderswift @wynonnaearrp @xloveswift @you-held-the-door @youareinlondontoday

#’s 

@13tiff @1989-aoty​ @1989acousticlive

The “Exchange” Program #2

Originally posted by pjmjjk

#1

Summary: To say you were excited was an understatement. Your brother had left for Korea and in exchange you get a replacement, also known as an exchange student. Expecting a smart, nice boy,  practically the boy version of you…you got the complete opposite. A bad boy with bad habits.

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Au: Badboy!Jungkook

A/n: Please give me feedback it helps me a LOT


“Really? Poohbear?” he sighed.

First you were confused at the sudden mention of the cute character then it hit you, it literally hit you. You felt the slight cold breeze hit your lower exposed butt cheeks realising that you had just flashed the poor boy.

“Seriously you never fail to entertain me, kitten” he chuckled letting go of your hips.

You scurried off of him and ran to your room leaving him in a chuckling mess, you looked in the mirror and silently cussed to yourself.

“Of all days you had to wear underwear that looked like it belonged to a child” you whispered quickly getting changed into sweats and climbing into your bed grabbing the silver laptop and opening Netflix.

Clicking on the familiar show, you slowly felt your eyes get droopy and heavy. Before you knew you it you were out like a nightlight.


“C’mon you idiot, wake up!” 

You heard a raspy voice yell at you, you felt your sides being shook making you open your eyes to see Jungkook staring at you furiously.

“What!?” you groaned sitting up.

“Your bitch ass cat pissed on my bed whilst I was sleeping!!” he shouted angrily.

Looking at your laptop you realised you had missed two episodes of the show show you were currently binging, groaning to yourself you swung your legs out of your bed and slipped on your slippers.

“Crap, I missed two episodes” you groaned out to him.

“Your cat literally pissed on my face and you’re worried about your stupid show!?” His remark made you burst out into laughter.

“Wait…Fifi actually pissed on your…face?” you laughed pointed at him.

“Ha Ha its all jokes till you get pissed on” he snickered, pushing you into his room


Cleaning up the mess that your cat made, Jungkook collapsed onto his bed. You scratched Fifi on the head and praised her for her actions.

“You’re praising her? After what she did to me?” he questioned.

“Yes, yes I a-” you were cut of by feeling something wet being thrown on your face. You peeled off the paper towel to realise it was the towel you had used to wipe Fifi’s piss.

“YOU FREAK!!!” You shouted throwing the towel on the floor and running to the shared bathroom.

“Not so fun now is it?” Jungkook snickered folding his arms and heading back to his bed.

“Ew Ew Ew”


You opened the door to your car and buckled your seat belt waiting for Jungkook, you were not having a good day. You woke up two hours before you usually do, there was no more coffee since your dad drank it all yesterday and it was the fist day of school.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” he said as he climbed into the passengers seat.

“Trust me when I say this, you don’t want to mess with me” you retorted, driving off in the direction of your school.

“You drive like my granny” he remarked, sticking his leg up on the dashboard of the car. You reached over and shoved his leg off of it and smiled at him.

 “I’m sorry but is there anyway for you to not be a total pain in the ass?” He put both of his legs up on the dashboard.

“I don’t think thats possible poohbear”

You glared at him because of the sudden use of the nick name that will forever haunt you.

“Can we pretend that never happened?” you pleaded parking the car into the school car park. You looked over to see him exiting the vehicle, you sighed in not getting your answer and got out yourself.


Walking to your locker you spotted your best friend waiting for you, a smile plastered on her face. You see it drop when you reach her, you follow where her eyes are averted to.

I guess he’s going to be a pain in the ass here too.

“Omg” Ally blurts, the smile appearing on her face. Ally wasn’t as intelectual as you were, she was smart and definitely was not one of the burn outs of the year. She was no doubt more popular then you, she was the type to gossip about parties and boys. You didn’t really feel the need to gossip, it was irrelevant to you. She was often asked why she stayed with you, and sometimes you wondered also.

“What?” you asked opening your locker and piled all of your books into it.

“Him. Who is he?” she pointed to Jungkook, watching him intensely as he shoved the black notebooks into the blue locker. You rolled your eyes at the colour of the books.

‘Typical, the bad boy is too bad for colours’ you thought and got out your math text book and English lit note book.

“That is the asshole, also known as Jungkook” you slammed your locker shut.

“He’s my new exchange student, he’s staying with me for a year. Personally it’s too long in my opinion” you smiled at her.

“Hey guys” Mia’s voice rings through your ears, as she gives you and Ally a big smile, she follow’s Ally’s eyes and see what she was staring at. Instantly her mouth gapes a bit.

“Who?” she asks.

“Y/n’s new exchange student. He’s staying for a year” Ally pipes up turning to you and Mia.

“She think’s a year is too much” Ally roles her eyes and smiles at you. 

“What!? Having that hottie living with you for a year is not enough!” Mia shouts causing Ally to laugh and to you frown.

“He’s a complete ass Mia, He threw cat piss on me last night!! Which did not help me sleep at all. There was no coffee, I did not sleep one wink and to top it off HE marked my dashboard in my car!! Do you know how hard it is to get shoe marks off!?!” you shouted at Ally and Mia, causing to get stares from passing students.

You huffed opening your eyes to find Jungkook staring at the three of you, smiling to himself.

“Did he just hear all of that?” you whispered to Ally, she nodded her head and laughed to herself.

“Hey Poohbear” you heard Jungkook laugh, walking towards your friends and you. You saw the girls stand still, afraid to embarrass themselves.

“What?” You huffed the piece of hair that was in your face. 

He grabbed your books and looked at the timetable you had stuck to your laptop cover.

“Hey we have the same classes!” he cheered.

“You’re kidding me? You’re that smart to be AP?” you questioned him, a confused look clearly presented on your face.

“I hope you know apart of being an exchange student, you do have to have good grades” he chuckled lightly to himself. You were speechless.

“C’mon, show me where the classes are” he walked off with your timetable, you ran after him making your friends follow the two of you.

“Why does he call you Poohbear?” Mia asks.

“Long story”


“Alright who can solve this equation?” Mr Clark, spun around on his heel. Your hand instantly shot up.

“Great! A classic showdown, how exciting!?” he clapped his hands clearly feeling ecstatic. You turned to see who you were up against and it was none other then Mr. Bad Boy himself.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” you whispered to yourself, getting up causing the chair to drag out with you.

You got to the board, a red marker in your hand ready to write the answer. You looked over to Jungkook to see a craze look in his eyes.

“And…go!” Mr Clark clapped.

You wrote down your answer faster then lightening…but so did Jungkook.

“Let’s see who takes home the prize” Mr Clark looked at the equations, you smiled to yourself, confident with your answer.

“And the winner is the exchange student!” He shouted.

Everybody hollered and clapped. You’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, you slumped back into your seat. Mia and Ally patting you on the back, you dug your head into your arms wishing the day to be over.


Soon it was lunch. You walked over to where Ally and Mia were, you saw the two familiar boys at your tables. You smiled and ran quickly to the boys.

“Mark!! Jackson!!” You scream, getting taken into Jackson’s arm. “I missed you pup!” Jackson exclaimed hugging you tightly then letting you go to hug Mark.

“I missed you too pup!” Mark shouted lifting you off the ground.

You laughed and sat down with them, you took a bite of your apple and put it down.

“How was China you two?” you asked Mark and Jackson they nodded their heads in unison.

“It was good” Jackson said.

“That’s it? You went to China and that’s all you have to say?” You laugh and sip your orange juice.

Mark laughed, “How were your holidays?” he asked taking a bite of the pizza.

“Oh you know, same old same old. Nothing eventful” you sighed.

“Are you kidding me?” Mia gasped causing Jackson and Mark to turn their heads towards her.

“What?” Jackson pipes

“She got a new exchange student. He’s so hot…and smart too!” Ally pipes up as well.

The door opened to the dining hall showing a handsome man, and you guessed it, it is Jungkook.

All you could hear were giggles and sighs.

“That’s him” Ally announced.

“Thats him!?” Mark exclaims.

“Yeah, Why do you seem so shocked?” You questioned.

“Nothing, it’s just…I know him” Mark whispers to you, leaning closely so only you could hear.

“How do you know him?” you hesitated to ask the question, afraid of the answer that would come.

“Y/n, please be careful around him” Mark warned.

Tainted Love (part 6)

Summary: Soulmates are supposed to be a wonderful thing, that is until you find out who your soulmate is. You guessed it, Lance “The Fucker” Tucker.

Pairing: Lance x Reader

Warnings: insecure Lance

A/N: I’m so happy I finally have no more writers block for this damn fic! I hope you’re enjoying it!

It had been a good 5 days since Lance stood you up. You still didn’t understand why he didn’t show up. You were so excited to be going on the date with him. You hadn’t even known the man for more than two weeks and he’s already breaking your heart.

“He didn’t show up?” Hope repeats what you had just said.

“Yup.” you say as you pour yourself a glass of apple juice. “I got all dressed up and everything. I was excited to be going on a date with him. I thought he could be different. I should’ve listened to you.”

“That’s weird.” she murmured.

“What is?”

“He came by the gym on Thursday and asked me and Ben if we could help him. He wanted us to tell him how to dress and how to act. I guess he didn’t want to fuck up the date.” she explained.

You sigh. “Well he did.” your eyes began to swell with tears as you remember last night. You waited for him, you texted him and nothing. “I can’t believe I actually thought he liked me I just-”

You stop speaking and let out a small sob. “Oh no, no, no, no Y/N don’t start crying. He’s an asshole.”

“I know It’s just - there has to some explanation. He’s my soulmate. There has to be a reason why out of everyone else, he’s my soulmate.” you sit down on the couch and sigh. “Maybe he had a long day and he took a nap and left his phone on silent.”

“Stop making excuses for him.”

“I’m not I’m just trying to be reasonable. He’s not just an asshole, Hope. I think that’s a front.”

“Doubt it.” she scoffed.

“There has to be a reason..” you mutter. “Hope, where does Lance live?”

“What? How the fuck would I know?”

“I know you know.”

“I’m not telling you either way.”

ou throw your head back. “C’mon.”

“No.”

“C’moooonnnn.”

“No Y/N.”

“Fine.” you huff. “I’ll just sit here and soak in my sadness… it’s not fair that everyone gets to be with their soulmate but I can’t. And now-”

“Alright shut the fuck up, you’re annoying me.” Hope cut you off. “Be ready in fifteen minutes and when I say be ready, I mean be outside your apartment building.” and with that, she hung up.

Not wanting to waste any time, you quickly pull your shoes on along with a jacket. Wearing a spaghetti strap and gym shorts was fine, right? You shrug and grab your phone, heading downstairs to wait for Hope.

When you got there, she was already waiting for you. You get in her car and put your seatbelt on. “I thought you said fifteen minutes? You got here in ten.”

“Yeah I know, decided to come early. I was gonna wait five minutes for you and if you didn’t get down here in time I was gonna leave.” she says as she drives off. “Because you take forever to get dressed.”

“Well not today.”

She glances over at you, taking in your appearance. “I can see that. Gym shorts? Really? That just screams ‘fuck me right now’.”

“You would know that, wouldn’t you?”

Hope scowled. “I’ll have you know that I’ve only fucked three people.”

“Today.”

The blonde slapped your arm.


Hope pulled up to an apartment building and parked. You look over at her, giving her a confused look. Where were you? “Second floor, apartment 24A. Go, I’ll be back in like an hour, two if I’m feeling nice.”

“Is this…” you trail off and she nods.

“I don’t like him but whatever makes you happy. Also, the only reason I know where he lives is because I had to pass him Maggie’s file.”

You smile. “Thanks Hope.”

“Yeah, yeah now get the fuck outta my car.”

You laugh and get out, watching Hope back up before she hauled ass down the road. Shaking your head you turn towards the building and sigh. It’s now or never, right? You walk up the stairs to the second floor and strut down the hallway, looking at each door. 20A. 21B. 22A. 23B. 24A.

Lance’s apartment was on the left side and you take a deep breath before knocking three times. You wait patiently but there was no answer so you began knocking again. It wasn’t until you heard a faint “yeah, yeah I’m comin’.” that you stopped.

Lance pulled the door open, his eyes glued to his wallet as he fished out some money. “How much is it again?” he looks up at you and surprise struck his face. You were the last person he thought would be at his door. He thought you hated him. “Shit Y/N, I thought you were the pizza man.”

“Obviously I’m not.” you don’t know when you crossed your arms but they were crossed.

The both of you stood there in awkward silence before Lance cleared his throat. “Uh, come in.”

He stepped aside and you enter his apartment. To your right there was his living room which was spotless and right in front of you was the kitchen which was also spotless. There was a door next to the kitchen which you assumed was his room since his infamous jacket was hanging on it.

“At the end of the hallway is a bathroom so if you need to go it’s over there.” Lance says, pointing over to your left. You nod and notice another door. Does he have a roommate? As if he heard your thoughts, he nods his head over to the door. “That’s like a storage room, I guess you could say. The only apartments available were two bedroom ones.”

Again, you nod and look around. The apartment was nicely decorated. You expected it to be… bland. Lance licks his lips and looks at you. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No thank you.” You watch Lance walk over to the fridge and pour himself a glass of water. After drinking it he rounded the counter to stand in front of you.

“So.. uh.. what’re you doing here?” he questioned.

You scoff. “Do you really not know why I’m here?”

Lance frowned. “Is it about the date?”

You nod. “I’m just going to get this over with.” You say, running your fingers through your hair. Lance takes this time to look at you. A spaghetti strap and gym shorts? Oh man he could only imagine how it would feel to have your thighs clench around his head as he- “Why didn’t you show up?”

Lance blinks twice, coming back to reality. “Huh?”

“Why didn’t you show up? Were you with another girl that night?” you questioned. You sounded like a jealous girlfriend but you didn’t care.

“No!”

“Is that why you never answered my calls or texts? What about these past five days? Why haven’t you replied to me? Is there someone else? Did you blow me off because you don’t do the dating thing? I need answers, Lance. I need to know if I’m wasting my time or not. I know when we were younger you wanted nothing to do with me but I thought maybe you felt different now that we’ve met.” You spoke.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone right now. I haven’t been with anyone these past five days.” He tells you and you nod. You’re about to continue speaking when a girl emerged from his room.

“I finally found it. Thanks for not helping me you a-” she turns to the both of you, eyes drifting to you then to Lance.

You scoff. “You haven’t been with anyone these past five days?” Lance stays silent. “Unbelievable. I can’t believe I actually thought you had feelings for me. Hope was right, I should’ve just stayed away from you.”

You start walking to the door but Lance grabs your hand. “Woah, wait! Let me explain!”

“Explain what? That you weren’t actually interested in me? That you were probably with some chick Friday night? Honestly Lance-“

“Y/N would you just shut the fuck up and let me speak!” he cut you off and you freeze upon hearing his outburst. “Shit, sorry Y/N I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Just, please let me explain everything.”

You only nod. Lance lets out a sigh. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. The only reason she’s here is to get her jacket that she left here three weeks ago. We didn’t even know three weeks ago, you can’t get mad at that.”

“Okay.”

“Fuck you, Lance!” the girl exclaimed as she made her way to the door.

“Why the fuck are you still here?” he glared at her as she left but not before showing him her middle finger.

Lance runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “Anyways, where was I…”

“You were gonna tell me why you blew me off Friday night.”

Lance frowns. “Right.. I uh… I got insecure.”

You scoff. “You got insecure? Lance, that is by far the worst-“

“I’m not lying.” He cut you off. “I went down to the gym Thursday and asked Hope for some help. I didn’t want to fuck up the date and since she’s your best friend she knows what you like and what you don’t. So, when I asked her to help me she said that I shouldn’t even go because I was gonna fuck the date up no matter what. She said the only thing I was gonna do was break your heart because it’s the only thing I’m good at and she’s right. You deserve someone much better than me. I’m a fuck up. I already fucked up.”

You scowl. You were going to murder Hope for saying such things. “I know I probably deserve someone better than you but does it look like I care? I can look after myself, Lance. You’re my soulmate for fucks sake. There’s a reason for that. You didn’t even give us a try before you decided you were no good. I don’t know why this one time you listened to Hope when you never do.”

Lance raked his fingers through his hair and you continued. “Why won’t you give us a try?”

He sighed. “Because I really like you and I’m afraid I’m gonna screw shit up. I’ve never been in an actual relationship. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m so used to sleeping around, no strings attached but-“ he paused. “My friends in high school who already met their soulmates would tell me how great it was and how complete they felt. Even now I stumble across people who feel that way and I always thought it was a load of bullshit. But after meeting you all that changed. I understand why everyone is so focused on finding their soulmate because fuck Y/N it’s the best feeling in the world.

“I want to be with you more than anything in the world. You’re so sweet and so kind and just the complete opposite of me and I’m fucking terrified that I’m going to do something so fucked up and ruin you and I don’t want to do that. I’m afraid I’m gonna hurt you so bad to the point where you hate me and fucking hell that crushes me.”

He’s in tears by now. You’d never thought you’d ever see Lance crying but here he was right in front of you with tears streaming down his face.

“And now I’m crying like a fucking idiot, making myself look even more stupid than I already do.” He sniffled and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

You take a couple steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you as you hugged him. “I knew that whole asshole thing was just a façade.” This makes Lance chuckle as he calmed down from crying. “You can’t help what you feel. You’re only human. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to be fearful but you can’t let it stop you from being happy.”

“I’m sorry for blowing you off.”

“It’s fine, Lance.”

“No it’s not.” He pulls away so that he can look at you. “Let me take you on a date. I’ll show up this time.”

“We don’t have to rush into anything just yet. We can just-“

“I wanna take you out on a date.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to-”

Lance sniffled. “Please?”

You smile. “Alright, Lance. I’ll let you take me on a date.”

“Thank you.” He presses a kiss to your cheek. “Since you’re already here how about we go to my room so I can take these pretty little shorts off you.”

He tugs at your shorts and you swat his hand away, laughing. “Lance!”

The mood shifted from serious to playful and Lance giggled. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Let’s watch a movie or something while we wait for the pizza man to get here. He should’ve been here like… twenty minutes ago.”


A/N: AHHHHHHH I’M FINALLY DONE. I STAYED UP UNTIL 6 IN THE MORNING TO FINISH THIS FOR YOU GUYS SO TELL ME WHAT YA THINK! I’M GONNA GO TO BED NOW BC I’M TIRED AS HELLAND I’LL FIX ANYMISTAKES L8TER. PEACE OUT.

Tags:

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Habitica ideas for students

I’ve been using Habitica for a while now and I love it. The reason I love it so much is that I can use it to track pretty much everything, even apart from the normal productivity stuff, if I’m a little creative. 

As for setting all of this up, I highly recommend doing that on desktop. The mobile app is great for on the go but I wouldn’t recommend it for putting an entire new system in place (maybe that’s just me, though).

So here are some maybe a little more unconventional ideas for Habitica usage: 

HABITS

My habits are mostly positive with few exceptions because it’s much easier to reward yourself for doing something than to punish yourself for not doing something, in my opinion. Plus, I feel like it works out, too, because after all, you do usually want to feed your pets or buy equipment or buy quests.

  • Water tracker: Drinking water is important, yo. The way I go about this is I have a positive habit called “1l of water” and I just hit the + for every liter I drink. I’ve set it to reset daily so I can see at how many liters I roughly am at for the day. If you struggle with drinking water more, you can also just put “drink a glass of water” and set the difficulty to hard instead of easy, as I have it set because at this point I’m pretty used to drinking a shit ton of water, I just like to keep an overview in case I’m busy and forget. That’s the beauty of Habitica vs other apps, you can modify it to your needs! 
  • Meet friends: This one I have set to reset every week so that I can see at a glance whether I’m having a social life. Having “high density” fun (as Thomas Frank frequently puts it) is crucial to my mental health, yet I tend to do it too little especially when I’m stressed and instead sit there on my phone wondering where the hours went and feeling generally very blah. I only have this as a positive habit because I don’t want to and need to force myself to do something with friends every single day (what’s up fellow introverts), but I’m aiming for at least once a week of my own accord, so not counting when I see them in a uni context or at fixed activities. I have this set on hard to motivate myself to actually do it, too, since I have to leave the house to fulfill it.
  • Color: As you may have noticed (X, X) coloring is a bit of a hobby of mine so the habit isn’t really necessary right now while I’m still technically on break and have more time to do it, but I like to keep it in there anyway. I usually color while listening to podcasts because that goes hand in hand, and many podcasts I listen to are also somewhat educational (hmu with your favorites, I’d love to discover some new ones!) while still expanding my horizons beyond what I learn at uni. This one I have set to medium, because while it is a hobby that I like to do, there’s definitely some resistance because you have to be very focused and can’t really do other stuff except listen to podcasts simultaneously. Coloring is very therapeutic to me, and I’m not an artsy person, so maybe give it a shot! You can also replace coloring with any artistic habit, obviously.
  • Read or listen to podcast instead of watching TV: I love doing both of these things yet they start to get infinitely harder when you’re at uni and running around town trying to stay alive during the semester. Reading especially is very beneficial to my mental health and I love doing it, but it’s just so much harder to pick up a book than to hit play on Netflix. I should probably split these two habits up now that I think about it, because I do tend to read much less than I listen to podcasts. Either way, the difficulty setting here is hard with a daily reset although it doesn’t really matter that much as both daily and weekly resets are equally suited for the purpose in my opinion. 
  • One book per week: Ah yes, my reading goal. I am terrible at reading slowly and steadily during the year which leads me to binge read on vacation. Now, while I love doing that and I don’t perceive it as a stressful, I would prefer to also read during the year. This habit is set to hard with a weekly reset, and it is both a positive and a negative (which means I probably have to hit the - today, siiiiigh). 
  • Work out: During the school year, I weirdly don’t struggle with working out a lot because I see it as a study break and I’m one of those people who actually looks forward to working out and hitting some goals. This one also has a weekly reset, hard difficulty and is both a positive and a negative habit, however, I only hit the - when I was supposed to work out and didn’t. This is partly the reason why I don’t want my workout as a daily, I don’t like having fixed days because sometimes you gotta move your schedule around a bit and I simply aim to work out 4-5 times a week. I’m looking into starting an exercise class for swimming next semester, though, so if I do join that one, I will absolutely make it a daily. 
  • Meal not eaten at desk: Kind of a weird one. I started developing this terrible habit of constantly doing everything at my desk last year, especially eating. Now, if you don’t have a ton of space and roommates, it makes sense for your desk to be basically where you spend your entire day, but I want my desk to be as much of a work only, no play space as it can be, even with limited space, and eating at it is a very bad idea to keep that mental separation in place. Also, I want to be focus on what I’m eating as much as possible and not do five things simultaneously. So, in order to motivate myself to eat my food at the dining room table, I’ve made this a simply positive habit with a medium difficulty and a daily reset as I usually eat three meals a day.
  • Cook: If you follow me, you probably already know I’m a big proponent of home-cooked meals. But cooking is time consuming, exhausting and hard sometimes when all you want after a long day at uni is some sushi. I aim to cook at a proper meal at least two or three times a week and try to avoid takeout as much as possible. To motivate me, I have this as a positive habit, at a hard difficulty and a weekly reset
  • Go to bed before midnight: I struggle with this. A lot. However, I do need my sleep - when I don’t sleep at least seven hours, I’m unfocused, cranky and tired. Plus, it’s really bad for athletic recovery. Getting to bed before midnight at least ensures I’ll be getting seven hours (since I try to get up at 7:00), ideally I’d get eight or nine, but I’m trying to stay realistic here. I have this as a positive habit with a weekly reset and at a hard difficulty. I don’t see the point in making it a daily because I know I won’t do it (I could, however, maybe make “get to bed before 1:00 a daily, to get brownie points for getting to bed even earlier than I needed to, I might yet do that).

EDIT: It’s been brought to my attention by the lovely @gold-n-mind​ that mobile doesn’t show the counter, something I didn’t really think of because I only use Habitica of my phone when I can’t avoid it but mostly use it on desktop. You can still set up everything how I mention it, but you will have to check the count on desktop, as of right now there doesn’t seem to be another way for mobile users. For potential mobile only users, this is what I’m referring to:

DAILIES

These, just like the habits, will be very personal. My dailies tend to change a lot because when I’m back home at my parent’s I don’t really need cleaning dailies for example. But here are some ideas nevertheless:

  • Get up within 15 minutes of waking up: I suck at this. I tend to waste away time in my bed, staying on my phone for 30 minutes before I even think about getting up. But a quick jumpstart to my day is extremely beneficial for my productivity, so I’m trying to work on it. This is due every day since lounging about in bed makes me tired and cranky and consumes time I could be using to eat breakfast while watching youtube.
  • Morning skincare/evening skincare: Pretty self-explanatory. Due every day.
  • Open window: Due every day. I try to always open my window before I start studying, as I don’t really leave it open over night and fresh air is obviously very helpful for da brain. Also, the cold air tends to help me wake up. 
  • Make bed: I never used to do this. But then I read “Unfuck your habitat” and I saw the merit in starting your day on a positive, structured note while making your room seem more tidy. Also, these easy dailies give me something to check off before getting started on my harder to dos, which is a concept known as momentum. Due every day.
  • Do a 20/10 of cleaning somewhere: Another lesson from UFYH. It means you do 20 minutes of tidying somewhere, then take a 10 minute break. I have found I rarely really need more than 20 minutes, and you can easily integrate one 20/10 somewhere in your daily schedule. It’s not fun, but constantly chipping away at messes means you don’t have to do huge binge-cleans. Due every day, but usually not needed every day.
  • Take out trash if needed: Tasks like these (this one is exemplary because I have a lot of these when I’m in my apartment during the semester) are great because they get you check if you have to do something every day and if they’re due, you do them right away since you’re already there checking! If they’re not due, you can easily check something off your dailies without actually doing work. Of course, the difficulty setting on these is usually trivial, but taking out the trash is a very trivial task, you just tend to put if off forever. Other ideas for this are put on laundry, check the mail, etc.
  • Week review/weekly planning: This is due every Sunday. I suck at following through and do need to get better at it, but actually looking at your week in advance and knowing what’s gonna happen when as well as getting into the mindset for Monday does help. 
  • Study dailies: These will vary wildly depending on what kind of study system and schedule you have! I have a general study daily with a checklist that says “x pages” and “flashcards”. I also now have a separate flashcard daily with a checklist for every set of flashcards I’m trying to get done. Like I said, it will vary - for some of you having a daily with a certain goal of pomodoros may work (I don’t really utilize the pomodoro method a lot, though), some of you just need a push so “study for 30 minutes” may be enough to set you on a productive course. I change up my study dailies most frequently of all of them because they change a lot depending on what subject I’m focusing on, but most of the time I’ll only have them due during the week, sometimes also on Saturdays. 
  • Go to class: I don’t really struggle with this because I literally cannot skip more often than once or they fail me, but why not reward yourself for leaving your comfy flat and braving the real world? These are also easy to set up because classes generally take place on a weekly basis, just set them as due on the weekday when the class is, and if you don’t struggle with going to class like me, you can always set the difficulty to trivial.

TO DOS

I won’t really go in depth on the to dos, because I feel like they’re pretty self-explanatory. I will explain a couple, but apart from that it’s pretty personal and whatever you have going on, just throw it on there. 

  • Grocery list: This is the only more “unconventional” use I have for to dos. I like to make one to do that says “grocery shop” and then put everything I need as a separate sub-point. This works really well and I like to do it this way mainly so I don’t have my shit spread out over five list apps. The only drawback is that you can’t share that list with friends (unless you shell out €€ and get a group plan), so if you have a joint shopping list with a roommate, you might not be able to use this.
  • University readings: I like to make huge tasks of my required reading with tons of sub-points so that the reward is proportional to the pain (lol). The drawback to this method is that you don’t get the instant gratification of being able to check off a task at the end of the day, but I use dailies to work like this so my to dos are kind of a more long-term overview of where I want to be by what date. You can be as detailed with this as you want, but I just kind of use the big chapter headings. You could also divide it by pages, though. Whatever floats your boat.

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If you sometimes wonder if you are attracted to someone of the same gender or just want to be their friend, if you sometimes worry your attraction is nothing but loneliness or a desire for platonic friendship that you somehow misunderstood: 

- You are not alone and those thoughts are not uncommon or weird. 

- Those thoughts are in no way a sign that you can’t be lgbt+ or that you’re “secretly straight”. 

Society, mainstream media and the people around us often try to push a invisible pair of glasses on us (figuratively speaking), through which we see some people as “okay to have a crush on” and others as “okay to want as a friend”. These glasses would, for a cis girl, portray boys as okay to date and girls as okay to want as a friend. 

We call those invisible glasses heteronormativity: The (often unspoken) belief that being hetero is “normal” and the silent assumption that everyone is straight. 

I’ll use “cis girl” as an example again: Even if she never downright got told “You are not allowed to date girls”, she may have heard “So, do you like any boys in your class?”, “You’ll understand when you’re older and have a husband”, “Oh, how cute, little Tommy hugged you, is he your boyfriend?”, “Oh, how cute, little Sarah hugged you, is she your best friend?”… She, like most of us, likely grew up getting taught that boys are potential boyfriends while girls are never more than friends. 

It’s no surprise that, when she gets older and realizes she actually has a huge crush on Sarah - she might doubt that, feel insecure about it or tell herself that it’s silly. Not because her feelings are not real, just because she got taught to feel a certain way. It’s not easy to just put off the glasses, throw them away and say oh, well, that’s not me - in fact, there’s a internal struggle if the glasses or your heart lies to you for most of us. 

We get taught to see two girls who love each other as best friends forever with a sisterly bond and two boys loving each other as “best bros, no homo”. That silent message - people of your own gender are friends, only friends! - is everywhere. 

So, is you wondering “But what if i really just want friends and am just a bit confused?” a sure sign that you are straight? No, certainly not. Those worries are a natural result of heteronormativity. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

ALSO:

Clarke didn’t make that entire list by herself. I wager we (the audience) entered the scene “late”. Earlier in the episode, Raven said that making lists and deciding who lived and died was Clarke’s decision. Bellamy was never going to allow her to do something as drastic (and with potentially devastating backlash-as we’ll see next episode I’m sure based on the promos) alone.

I think Bellamy and Clarke were working on the list together, and Bellamy nodded off unintentionally and that’s when the audience enters the scene. Clarke looking over at Bellamy, not because she just wants to watch him be at peace (finally) but because they were having a conversation and he stopped responding. Noticing he’s asleep, seeing him at peace for the first time in forever, she probably can’t bring herself not to put him on that list. 

And then…once she’s done that, I think she wanted to put her own name on that list. Because Clarke “can’t lose him, too.” But putting Bellamy on the list and not herself would mean she does lose him. Unfortunately she can’t justify putting herself on the list, she doesn’t think she deserves it and that’s when the tears start. Because she wants to ride out the apocalypse with Bellamy, but she just can’t

And that’s when we get that beautiful scene.

I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for. Do I like Marcel? Yes. Do you want me to tell you some good Marcel fics? Because that’s what I’ve decided to interpret this ask as. You’ll find I often interpret asks to my own liking. ;) 

(Thank you @londonfoginacup for helping me with this even though you tried to leave off your own Marcel fic from the list. psssshhhh…it’s one of the best ones! Also, I am not the greatest at fic recs, sorry!)

Originally posted by harrysimpact

Marcel Fic Rec

Let me start with my favorite. I read this the day it was published, and I couldn’t put it it down. I ended up burning a batch of cookies I was baking for the PTA. For which I will forever blame Lexy for. 

But Why Wonder, Why Wonder? by @100percentsassy

I hear you calling in the dead of night by Thelonelycoast

The Things You Say Don’t Drive Me Away by @londonfoginacup

Do I Wanna Know (If This Feeling Flows Both Ways) by @suddenclarityharry

It’s a Rare Condition by @gloriaandrews

Kings by @haydolce

We Kissed Like We Invented It by truthtattoos

blinded me with sweater vests by veterization

You’ll Be the Death of Me by YinAndYangOnIce

This drabble by @gloriaandrews

Also, I haven’t read this one because it’s pretty new, but it’s on my to read list…

You can’t blame gravity (for falling in love) by @perfectdagger

Not Marcel, but Nerd Harry…

Let Me Make It Better by @lululawrence

*I have a completed Nerd Harry fic that’s about to get posted anonymously. Sigh. So I can’t rec my own fic here. And I’m writing another one, too. Blah. It’s the worst when you can’t self-promote.

anonymous asked:

I love your writing! Could I request a fic please? Where McCree has a secret fiancé, living somewhere safe and reminding him that he has something to live for? But the remaining Deadlock members find her and kidnap her? And she's terrified when she realizes how much they hate Jesse and how they're willing to do anything to her in order to hurt him.

((A/N - I did this in Blackwatch era if that’s okay! It made more sense as Deadlock was more recent and oh my goodness gracious me I got so carried away with it I love writing McCree as a hero oosh. Might have to upload to AO3!))

“Please be safe.”
“I always am, doll.”

You stood on your toes to be able to press your lips against his. His rough, chapped lips that you were forever telling him to put lip balm on. You saw Jesse out the door, waving to him as set off down the road towards the Overwatch base. You twirled your engagement ring on your finger, a thin gold band that had a set of three diamonds with the middle one being slightly larger.

Jesse had proposed to you last year. You had known him since his days in the Deadlock gang, only because he used to frequent the diner you worked at. On more than one occasion he had bought you a strawberry milkshake or paid for your favourite song to be played on the jukebox. You were always careful though. You never became too close for the fear of doing something wrong which might anger him or the gang. You always accepted his compliments with a smile, and politely refused his requests to go dancing after work. It was only ever him that visited, saying what you had was a little secret, sealed with a wink.

Overwatch had then infiltrated Route 66, tearing apart the gang and luckily giving Jesse another chance at life to do good in the world. Knowing that neither of you were in any more danger, he proposed to you then and there. He constantly complimented you on your accent, your style, your pretty eyes. You had only moved to the little town a couple of years prior. He had of course sweetened you up and you accepted. You were his rock, and he was your charming cowboy.

***

“Honey, I’m home!” Jesse jokingly sang out as he sauntered through the front door.

You greeted him with a smile and a peck on the cheek. With what Jesse was earning working in the Blackwatch division under Overwatch, there was no need for you to carry on working at the diner. You had your own little ranch on the outskirts of town. You spent your days cleaning, cooking, sewing, ironing, being kept hidden..

“Did you tell them today, sweetie?” You held your hands in front of you, an expectant look on your face.

Jesse’s furrowed brow and sigh told you everything. Your engagement was a secret. A secret from your family, friends, and Overwatch.

“That’s.. fine.”
 You turned away from him, heading back into the kitchen to finish up the stew.

“Darlin’, it’s not fine.”
“So why can’t you tell them? Why can’t I tell them? Why can’t I tell anyone?”

You span on your heels to look at him and crossed your arms. Jesse’s eyes widened at your sudden anger. He understood your frustrations, he really did. It just seemed for however long you two has known each other everything between you had to be a secret.

“There are… Complications.”
“Such as?”

Jesse sighed and took his hat off, moving round to sit on the sofa and patting the seat next to him. You precariously followed suit, back stiff and perched on the edge of the seat.

“Deadlock.”
“Yes? What about them?”
“With Overwatch being close by, they’re gettin’ a bit antsy. Since they, well, arrested half o’ their men they didn’t take too kindly to it. Doll, the base isn’t even the direction that I head off to in the morning. I have to do that in case I’m bein’ followed.”

Your shoulders tensed slightly.

“Being followed..?”
“They’re not the nicest o’ gangs and they try to keep tabs on people. Whether they know that I was given’ a second chance.. I don’t know.”

You looked at him. He was staring at the carpet, eyes drawn to a particular out of place thread. He fiddled with the hat in his hands.

“Which is why I have to keep us a secret.” Jesse slowly said.

You nodded, taking the hat from his hands and walking around the sofa to place it on a coathook. You hadn’t realised he was following you until you turned around and bumped into him.

“(Y/N), you are my home. You always have been. If anythin’ were t'happen’ to ya..”

You leant forwards onto his chest, him then covering you with his arms. He of course smelt like cigars, gunpowder and coffee. You were his home, and he was yours.

You pulled back slightly so you could look up into his chocolate eyes, etched with concern.

“I love you, Jesse McCree.”

He broke into a smile and picked you up, twirling you around.

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

***

The next day went off without a hitch, you said your farewells and began preparing food for dinner.

Knock. Knock.

You frowned. Wiping your hands clean on a teatowel you lightly stepped over to the front door, peering through the peephole. Two young men dressed in black stood cockishly on your porch. You weren’t supposed to have any visitors today. You weren’t supposed to have any visitors, full stop.

You hooked the metal chain onto the door, so when it opened there was only a tiny crack you could see through. Better to be safe than sorry.

“May I help you, at all?”

“Is McCree here?” The one on the right spat.

“Erm, who? I think you may have the wrong ranch.”

Your heart was racing. Jesse had prepared you for this, to feign ignorance if anyone came asking for him.

“Your fiancé?”

You blanched. You tried to slam the door closed but one put their foot in the way. You grunted, and ran towards where you kept your shotgun in the cupboard under the stairs. You’d never had to use it before, but being so far out in the open you constantly had wild beasts and trespassers roaming your lands, you had to threaten them somehow.

You aimed it at the door, preparing for the worst when a crack shot through the air and your front windows were shattered. You held your hand up to your face to shelter from the flying glass, a few shards managing to scrape across your palm.

“Don’t come any closer.” You threatened. You inwardly cursed yourself at how weak you sounded. You emphasised by jabbing the shotgun in the direction of the window.

“Why, miss, we don’t want to hurt you.”

The two intruders stepped through the shattered pane, pointing revolvers at you and grinning wolfishly. Your breathing quickened. Your eyes scanned around the room, while slowly stepping back. You needed an exit route, and you needed one now.

“Just tell us where McCree is and we won’t have to put a bullet between your pretty eyes.”

They were stalking towards you, every step you took back they took one forward. The gun in your hands was shaking. You cocked it and aimed at their feet, firing which sent a whirlwind of wood splinters into the air.

This gave you a few mere seconds to sprint out of the living room, into the kitchen and out the back door. You heard cursing from the strangers and then heavy footsteps of them chasing you. You rounded the corner and pressed your back against the warm wooden slats, gun poised to whack the butt into one of their heads as they came round.

They never came round. You were sure they were following you. You frowned, peeking out to see if they were still there. They weren’t.

Treading carefully and aiming your shotgun, you stepped around the corner to look by the back door.

“Checkmate, princess.”

Something cold and hard pressed against the back of your neck. You shuddered out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding. You stared blankly ahead into the desert, dropping the gun on the ground and raising your open hands to shoulder height.

Gravelly footsteps made their way so the one that had originally spoken to you was standing in front of you.

“Wild one, she is.”
“No wonder McCree went for her.” The one behind you sniggered.

You narrowed your eyes at the one in front, who was now pointing his gun at your chest.

“Don’t try anythin’ funny, sweetheart.” He smiled sickly sweet at you, and then nodded at the one behind you.

A rag soaked in something sweet and alcoholic covered your nose and mouth, making you cry out. You scrabbled at the man’s hands by your face, hearing him wince from where you cut him with your nails. He was relentless. Trying to struggle made you breath in more sharply and quickly, which you didn’t realise was helping their cause. Your hands became fuzzy, knees weak and vision blurring.

“Sleep tight.” They chuckled.

Everything went black.

***

“Why ain’t she pickin’ up..”

Jesse scowled at his burner phone, the number he had been ringing going to voicemail. He wanted to let you know that he was going to be home early today, as he’d managed to get a half day off and he could help you cook dinner as an apology for yesterday.

He scuffed his way through the long grass, the heat forming sweat droplets on the back of his neck.

He frowned. Tyre tracks by the front of your ranch. You weren’t supposed to have visitors. Feeling uneasy, Jesse unholstered his peacekeeper. Before he had made it to the front of the house, he could see that the front window had been smashed in and the door was slightly ajar.

Oh no.

“(Y/N)? You home, doll?”

He peaked in through the window and saw glass everywhere. Two pairs of dusty footprints by window making their way towards- blood? He stepped through the wooden pane on high alert for any signs there’s someone still in the house. It was deathly silent.

Jesse crouched when he made it to the doorway to the kitchen, picking up a shard of glass that definitely had blood on it.

Well, shit.

He quickly put his earpiece in and channeled it to the base.

“McCree to Watchpoint 66.”
“McCree. Reyes here.”
“I need your help.”

***

Your head was pounding. Your palm stung. Your breathing was rattling, as though you were dehydrated. Your neck ached from where it was hanging awkwardly, a stray hair tickling your nose. You tried to reach up to brush it out of the way and scratch your nose. You tensed your arms when you realised you couldn’t, something rough had bound your wrists together behind your back. Your eyes shot open. Your vision was blurry, trying to adjust to the dim lit room. You looked down and realised you had been bound to a wooden chair. Trying to cry out for help, you realised a cloth of some sort was drawn tightly across your mouth. Glancing down, even your ankles were tied together from what you could see with rough hemp rope. You tried to regulate your breathing, air heavily leaving your nose.

Your head shot up when the rickety door swung open, a dark figure standing in the doorway.

“She’s awake.” The voice rumbled, nodding to someone else in the hallway.

The figure stepped over the threshold towards you. You tensed up, drawing in a sharp breath and head held high.

He wore dark leather trousers and a billowing cream top, almost like an old fashioned pirate. He grabbed your jaw with his calloused hand, forcing you to look up towards his shadowed face.

“So you’re the one that Jesse McCree has fallen for. A pretty lil’ thing, huh.”

He had the same southern accent as Jesse, albeit more menacing. He turned your head to the side, losing eye contact. Only spending a minute with this savage and he’s already made you feel like a piece of meat up for inspection. He leaned in close, lips hesitating over your ear.

“Do ya love him, sweetpea?”

You shut your eyes, tears squeezing out the corners and you drew in a shuddering breath.

Answer me.”

You nodded your head, him only being satisfied when he let his grip go off your face and moved back. You bowed your head, wondering how you got into this situation. Wondering what Jesse’s reaction would be when he saw how ransacked your house was. Wondering about Jesse.

“Don’t cry. I di'n’t mean to make ya cry.”

He gently wiped away a streaming tear, his touch as soft as a lover’s. You glanced at his tan hand that was so close to your cheek. He took his hand back and thwack. His right hand struck your cheek, snapping your head to the right and hair falling over your face. The pain brought a fresh batch of waterworks, sobs choking in your throat.

A dark chuckle escaped from your captor. He pulled up another wooden chair from the darkness and sat down.

“D'ya know how long we’ve been lookin’ for that mutt?”

You shook your head, learning quickly it’s better to play along.

Too long. After that darned Overwatch took half o’ my men we wanted to fight. Obviously we didn’t have enough manpower. When we learnt that ingrate was alive and workin’ for them? Hoo, that’s a whole ‘nother story.”

He leant back in the chair, his right ankle coming up to rest on his left knee.

“I had my men follow him. That Overwatch weren’t pretty smart to keep an ex-Deadlock member livin’ on Route 66 were they? He tried to be clever. Sent them on a fox hunt, he did. Until one day we finally caught him going back to ya nice lil’ ranch out back. Seein’ you greet him at the door warmed my heart, I must say.”

Your eyes widened.

“He had a lil’ missy and he was keepin’ her secret from the world. Well, I wonder why that is? That Jesse McCree had snagged himself somethin’ real nice and didn’t wanna share her. We thought we could do him the favor. We could let him know how much he hurt us, at the same time hurtin’ him.”

You frowned at this. They wanted to hurt him? By hurting you?

The stranger leant forwards placing a hand on your knee.

“Don’t worry, doll. We only want to let him know how big o’ a mistake he made when he betrayed us.“  He stood up, stalking around to the back of your chair and placed his hands heavily on your shoulders. "You are the key.”

You shuddered under his grasp, your entire body shivering at the thought of what they, or he, were going to do to you.

***

“Jesse, you need to calm-”
I am calm.” Jesse seethed.
“Well then get your hand off of my desk.”

Jesse looked down, his nails digging into the wood creating splints on Gabriel’s desk. He grunted, flumping himself into the chair opposite Reyes and hiding his dark eyes behind his hands.

“She’s out there somewhere and we’re sittin’ here doin’ nothin’. She could be hurt or dyin’ or-”
Don’t. Don’t you dare say it. Jesse, we will find her. I promise.”

***

You don’t know how long it had been. They would occasionally bring in water and sludge for what they called food. They had to feed you, this being the only time they would ungag you. Your wrists were chafed from being constantly bound, your ankles only released when you needed to relieve yourself. You had lost all energy to fight. It didn’t help that every now and then they would rough you up.

Your head ached, there was dried blood crackling by your nostril and you were sure your ribs were either cracked or majorly bruised. Breathing became a struggle, it was all you could focus on.

They didn’t seem to care about information about Jesse. All Deadlock wanted to do was hurt you. Hurt you so they could hurt him.

The door creaked open, you flinching at the light that shone through the doorway. You were tired and you wanted to give up. It was the man that you had first seen when you were taken.

“Looks like he’s given up lookin’ for ya, doll.” He smirked. “There’s been no word for.. Oh. Four days now.”

You stared blankly at the floor by his feet; you wouldn’t have given him a reaction even if you could. He walked over to you, holding something in his hand that glinted against the light.

“I think it’s time to.. Up the pace. Don’t you think, sweetheart?”

Only then did you look at him properly, studying what he had in his hand. A knife. You tried to shrink into your chair, worried eyes passing between the knife and his shadowed face. A swift strike and the blade was plunged into your thigh, blood seeping out from around the edges. You shut your eyes and let out a muffled cry, pain blinding your vision.

“Good girl. I made sure t'record that one. I’ll send it to ya fiancé and let him know how ya doin’.”

You breathed in deeply through your nose, tears now running freely down your cheeks and you trying to hold back sobs. You’d never known pain like this before.

He pulled the knife from its warm confines to wipe on his trousers, your blood running down onto the floorboards. He twirled the knife in his hands, looking like a predator wondering where he was going to make his next strike. You pleaded with your eyes as much as you could, you couldn’t take much more. You’d fantasized about being back at home, in your bed, with Jesse.

You didn’t know how strong your threshold was for pain but you knew you weren’t going to last long if they started torturing you for the hell of it.

“Com'ere, doll.” He grabbed your throat, leaning in dangerously close.

He passed the blade down the side of your face, making a deep cut down your cheekbone. You could feel blood trickling down, just adding to the list of injuries you had. He tightened his grip around your neck, digging his fingers in which would no doubt leave some lovely purple splotches.

An earthy rumble echoed through the building. Your captor looked at you in concern then span around to face the doorway. He moved around you, behind your chair and pulled your hair so your neck was on show. A loud crash and then suddenly there were three people all in dark clothing looking through the doorway where a rickety door has once stood.

“Long time, no see, McCree.” The man said, now pushing the blade against your bare throat.

“Get your dirty hands off of her, Max.”

Jesse.

You whimpered, struggling in your bounds on the chair. The grip in your hair tightened, making you take a short breath and changing your view so all you could see was the ceiling.

“You ain’t in a position to tell me what to do, Jesse. Unless you want your sweetheart’s blood spewin’ everywhere. Say, how does it feel? To have somethin’ you love taken away from ya?”

“Let her go.” A voice you didn’t recognise said.

“Uh uh. Not until the lil’ rat here understand what Overwatch did to my gang. And how betrayed I felt when I learnt he’d gone off gallavantin’ with ya.”

You could feel the blade dig in deeper, droplets beginning to form. The pain in your leg was excruciating.

“She’s got nothin’ to do with that.”

Your breathing was becoming heavier, the tightness by your throat and the general aches and pains from your leg, ribs, cheek and hair were becoming too much for you. The room became incredibly warm, your hands and feet becoming tingly and limp and eyes drifting shut.

“Looks like she’s already given’ up, Jesse. You’re too late.”

You heard a muffled crack in the air before you let yourself drift off.

***

“(Y/N)?”

You leaned into the touch of someone stroking your hair back from your face. You stirred, eyes shooting open and breathing increasing from what you last remembered.

“(Y/N), it’s okay. You’re safe.”

You quickly scanned the area and all you could see was white. White ceiling, white walls, white bed. Bed. You turned to where the voice came from and there was Jesse. Your Jesse that had come to save you, perched on the edge of the chair waiting anxiously. You leaned back onto the cushy pillows and let out a sigh. You glanced him over. His beard was more scraggly and under his eyes were dark. You held out your hand towards him, him instantly taking it in his grasp and holding you tightly. His thumb rubbed over your engagement ring.

“Jesse..” You croaked.
“Stop. (Y/N), I’m so sorry.” His voice sounded gravelly, broken. “I thought I could protect you.”

You squeezed his hand in reply, trying not to say anything which could damage your throat.

“I should'a been more careful. I should'a done what you said and told them about us. They could’ve protected you more than what I could.”

You frowned at this.

“No, Jesse-”
“I did this to ya. I wouldn’t be surprised if you up and left me.” He covered his face with his free hand, rubbing his forehead.

You retreated your hand slightly before slapping him on the wrist.

“Don’t you dare. You rescued me. What’s done is done but we’re here now. Safe.”

He peeked at you through his fingers, brown eyes meeting yours. A small smile formed on his lips before darting around your face and taking in what Deadlock had really done to you. It faded.

“Wounds heal, Jesse.” You reassured, catching on to what he was looking at. “I never doubted for a second you wouldn’t come for me.”

“Could'n'ta done it without Reyes.”
“I’m sure he’s lovely.”
“He’s the one that took me in after Deadlock.”
“Even more so.”

Jesse relaxed a bit, glad to see that you had woken up and hadn’t changed a bit.

“So I’m guessing Overwatch know about us then, huh?”

He nodded.

“I had to.”
“Not under the best circumstances.”
“I wish it could’ve been better.”

You turned your head towards him so you were facing him fully. You grabbed his hand that was still laying on your pristine sheets with both hands, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles. You hesitantly glanced down at your wrists, ropeburn clearly showing.

“I love you, Jesse McCree. Don’t you ever forget or think that anything will come in between that.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

Your Everything

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean and the Reader finally voice their feelings for one another. 

Word Count: 2k-ish

Warnings: Fluff, Suggestive Content, Slight Cursing

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! This is my entry for @impalaimagining‘s “Taylor ‘s 1K Followers Celebration”. I got the song “"Be Your Everything” by Boys like Girls and I got assigned the gif below. I hope you guys like it! Feedback is always welcomed!!



I wasn’t your typical girly-girl.

I didn’t swoon at the movies when the guy would sweep the girl off of her feet. I wouldn’t sing along to those cheesy love songs on the radio whenever I was inside a car. Hell, I never even joined the cheerleading squad when I was in high school.

So when this song came on one night while I was washing the dishes at the Bunker in nothing but shorts and a white tank top, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and start to sway in time with the music.

Keep reading

So, I’ve basically decided to bite the bullet and go back to school. And, totally in character, I’ve completely procrastinated and now have less than a month to study for the GMAT, since I want to try for a Master’s in Accountancy. (In all fairness, the decision was a fairly recent one, so there wasn’t much previous time to start working on these things.)

At least, I’ve already registered for the test, so I better get crunching on those numbers. Thankfully, the math there is mostly algebra, so I shouldn’t go too crazy over this.

Although, knowing myself, I’ll probably go really crazy as the application dates come closer. 

But on the bright side, my Mom graduated from that uni several years back, so if I get in, I might still see some familiar faces around. That would be nice.

Anyways, I guess what I’m saying is I might become sparser with posting in the next month or so.

Victor and Yuuri’s Career Choices in Episode 12

Alternatively titled “WTF was episode 12!?” 

As the 3rd and final post in the Victor/Yuuri and Grief series (found here and here), we’ll be taking a look at how their individual journeys that we explored in the previous 2 posts leading up to the hotel scene in eps 11/12 affect their career choices in the final episode.

As we’ve seen already, both of them have gone through the entire grieving process by the time the hotel scene rolls around. Just as a reminder about what their grief focused on, I’ll do a super quick recap.

For Victor, his grief was centered around the developmental loss of his career and accepting that he can still have a fulfilling life coaching Yuuri. He hits his acceptance of this during the GPF short programs, the moment we see him overlooking the stadium as Yurio breaks his short program world record. Victor has finally reached a place where he feels he can be happy with things as they are – with him off the ice.

For Yuuri, his grief was centered around the anticipated loss of losing Victor (in all capacities) after the GPF ended and accepting that the time he has with him is limited. He convinced himself that the time he has with Victor in every capacity wasn’t forever and that he would eventually have to give him up. Over the course of the series, he comes to terms with this on his own.

Buckle up because it’s going to be a long ride. I promise you, however, that the read will be worth it. (I’ll even add in some music recommendations to listen to during certain parts to add to your reading experience!)

Keep reading