because i need to shut up about it

Unknown Gotham fact: Mr. Freeze runs the best D&D games.

Nightwing #29, Gotham Resistance Part 2. A.k.a. a lesson I should shut up about people being sidelined. But we’ll get to that. Now, I need to say this crossover seriously reads like a D&D game, with levels of the dungeon and bosses and secrets. Nightwing’s narration tries to pass it as more serious and dire and Damain is trying to launch some drama, but it really feels like a fun adventure. It’s both good and bad. Good because, well, it’s fun a good crossover should be. Bad because it’s distracting when the story takes itself too seriously.

I must admit, I like this format for events much more than others. Instead of forced tie-ins you run one of smaller, normal crossovers as one tie-in and you do like two of them. Hope more events will try this instead of wasting whole arcs for an event tie-in.

One complaint to this issue would be some of the banter. Most of the times it’s natural but there is rather forced “natural twenty” joke from Harley. And Raven calling Enchantress an “Elder Goth”. Like, no. It doesn’t work. Stop.

Speaking of which, rest of Teen Titans teams up with rest of Suicide Squad….to get captured and Jokerized by Edgelord Robin. They were no match for his brilliant plan of “throw dozens of dad’s Rabid Robins at them”. I guess that explains their absence as larger part of the event in the advertisement. Although, Raven and Goliath aren’t present on the final page. I hope this isn’t just omission and Dick’s D&D party will soon get a mage and a gargoyle….

- Admin

2

Look who’s just about 5 hours old! Baby Virgil arrived safely in our kitchen this afternoon, after not letting me sleep or eat for all of the night before. He would have stayed in his unruptured waters, but I let the midwife break them, partially out, because the extra size around him hurt more than it would have been cool.

Armand hasn’t meet him yet because he wanted to stay for his first ever sleep over with his friend Erin and I’m trying not to cry about that. When we told him this morning that the baby was coming soon, he yelled “not! Baby stay in tummy.” So we need to come up with a good introduction for the two of them tomorrow.

(We aren’t telling our families about him until tomorrow, so shut mouths on other social media please.)

Unpopular opinion: I don’t need any more huge open world games with distractions scattered all over the place. I’m tired of losing track of the actual goal because of an abundance of pointless side quests. Give me a linear, story-driven game that focuses on its narrative structure instead. I want characters to care about and a story to be moved by.

on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five.  the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.

you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.  

maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -

“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”

to all the transwomen who are fetishized by being called “chicks with dicks, traps, trannys, etc.”

to all the transwomen who are told “i don’t date penises” or “i only date vaginas” by cis men/women

to all the transwomen who are attacked by terfs daily

to all the transwomen who do not want to have surgery

to all the transwomen who want to have surgery

to all the transwomen who are called rapists just because they want to use the bathroom

to all the transwomen who experience dysphoria

to all the transwomen who do not experience dysphoria

to all the transwomen who required to pass as cis because they fear for their lives

to all of the transwomen who are afraid to come out

you are beautiful and i love you.

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!


  1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
  2. “How long have you been standing there?”
  3. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
  4. “Who gave you that black eye?”
  5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
  6. “I just like proving you wrong.”
  7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
  8. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”
  9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”
  10. “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
  11. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
  12. “I’m pregnant.”
  13. “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”
  14. “Take. It. Off.”
  15. “Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”
  16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
  17. “Stop it! It tickles!”
  18. “It’s okay to cry…”
  19. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”
  20. “D..did you just make that noise?”
  21. “He’s a bad kisser.”
  22. “You can scream if you want.”
  23. “I didn’t know we were keeping track.”
  24. “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”
  25. “One of them’s missing.”
  26. “Save some for me.”
  27. “Oh, fuck off.”
  28. “You’re still mad?”
  29. “Come over here and make me.”
  30. “You better watch yourself.”
  31. “Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”
  32. “Why did we have to have kids?”
  33. “Call on Line 1”
  34. “He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”
  35. “I’m done! You can fix it!”
  36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  37. “Where did he go?”
  38. “You leave whenever you feel like it.”
  39. “I forgot I was a single parent.”
  40. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
  41. “You’re going out dressed like that?”
  42. “For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  
  43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”
  44. “Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”
  45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.”  
  46. “I thought you were dead!”
  47. “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
  48. “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”
  49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
  50. “You know you want it, sweetheart.”
  51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
  52. “You just wanted them because the light up.”
  53. “That wasn’t very subtle.”
  54. “He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  
  55. “It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”
  56. “I don’t do hugs.”
  57. “Don’t talk anymore.”
  58. “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
  59. “How do I even put up with you?”
  60. “I said get rid of it.”
  61. “They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”
  62. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”
  63. “Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
  64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”
  65. “I have a secret.”
  66. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
  67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
  68. “He’s four years old!!”
  69. “I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
  70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
  71. “Me and the boys will handle it.”
  72. “You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”
  73. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
  74. “You’re a dork, just like your father.”
  75. “Mind if I join you?”
  76. “Daddy!”
  77. “I lost our child.”
  78. “That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”
  79. “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”
  80. “There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”
  81. “I’ll take care of it.”
  82. “I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”
  83. “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”
  84. “Come on, baby, up to bed.”
  85. “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”
  86. “Am I scaring you?”
  87. “Run! You said you’d work out with me!”
  88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”
  89. “And when did you plan on telling me about this?”
  90. “Trust me.”
  91. “Scoot over a little bit, please.”
  92. “You’re so clingy, I love it.”
  93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”
  94. “Did they hurt you?”
  95. “You’re cute when you’re all worried.”
  96. “Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”
  97. “I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”
  98. “Don’t shut me out.”
  99. “You got a cute butt.”
  100. “I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
  101. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”
  102. “Do you really think I could ever replace you?”
  103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”
  104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”
  105. “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”
  106. “Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”
  107. “You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”
  108. “Have you seen my contacts?”
  109. “Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”
  110. “Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”
  111. “You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”
  112. “Is he coming home?”
  113. “I prefer blondes.”
  114. “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”
  115. “I let you win.”
  116. “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”
  117. “Can I do your hair?”
  118. “Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”
  119. “I told you not to jump on the bed!”
  120. “He’s pampering me, let him be.”
  121. “Ready or not, here I come.”
  122. “I’m worried about losing my job!”
  123. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”
  124. “Happy new year!”
  125. “Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”
  126. “You nap, I’ll stay awake.”
  127. “It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”
  128. “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
  129. “I’ll give you a massage.”
  130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”
  131. “Are you doodling?”
  132. “We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”
  133. “Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”
  134. “Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”
  135. “Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”
  136. “You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”
  137. “We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”
  138. “Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
  139. “If I win, you do dishes for a week.”
  140. “Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”
  141. “Use your words.”
  142. “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
  143. “Ew, your hand is sweaty.”
  144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”
  145. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”
  146. “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”
  147. “Look! Fireflies!”
  148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”
  149. “I just need ten minutes.”
  150. *Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

  • <p> <b>allura:</b> *having trouble with the blue lion*<p/><b>me:</b> she's just having trouble because she's trying to force the lion :) she just needs to do what lance would :)<p/><b>allura:</b> *expresses self doubt and low confidence*<p/><b>blue lion:</b> *activates*<p/><b>me:</b> *thinking about what this means in regards to lance as far as faith in himself goes* fuck :)<p/></p>
ART TIP: Keep a balance between digital and traditional art

because there are things traditional art will teach you that digital art won’t, and the same goes the other way

Our Little Secret-Part One

Summary: After a hunt and quite a few drinks the boys learn that you aren’t as ‘experienced’ in one department as they thought you were. Dean thinks he can rectify that

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Oral Fixation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4700

Warnings: Smut, oral (male and female receiving), insecure reader, language

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is the first part of what I hope is a lengthy and smutty series. Any feedback is always appreciated. This is also for @emilywritesaboutdean and @wheresthekillswitch ‘s Do It Like TFW Challenge (The gif is near the bottom)

A thank you to my beta @ayeronda for betaing at an ungodly hour and being so wonderful.


It’s been a long ass day and an even longer hunt. You were more than happy to be sitting on Dean’s bed in the boys’ motel room, sipping on your second, or maybe it is the third beer. And that was just here, it wasn’t counting the four or five shots you had had down at the bar. So now you were here and Sam was riding Dean hard about his strikeout at the bar.

“Dude, you were never going home with her.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “What? Two whole minutes?”

Keep reading

My parents signed me up for Nextdoor, which is like some kind of community-based mini facebook, and I am signed up in their neighborhood, which is (as we have established) The Boondocks.

I don’t mind belonging to their Nextdoor, it means that I will be kept abreast of local news, but also the local news is hilarious

The latest messages concern a HEATED DISCUSSION about hoof trimming because someone posted asking if anyone knows a farrier who will trim miniature horse hooves, which apparently most farriers have some kind of BASELESS PREJUDICE against according to this poster. Battle lines are quickly being drawn between the various camps including:

  • Miniature horses don’t need hoof maintenance the way regular horses do
  • Miniature horses ABSOLUTELY need hoof maintenance you monsters
  • Farriers who won’t do miniature horse hooves ain’t shit
  • Farriers who won’t do miniature horse hooves have their reasons
  • Miniature horses are some bullshit
  • Everybody shut up about miniature horses
  • I Have A Miniature Horse For Sale

I can’t wait to see who wins. I suspect it will be me. 

  • Scorpius: Dad, Grandpa, I need some help.
  • Draco: Yes, of course.
  • Lucius: Sure, what do you need?
  • Scorpius: Well... I was thinking that I could read you some pick up lines to try and get Albus' attention.
  • Draco, muttering: Of course, Potter...
  • Lucius: Shut up, Draco. Read them out, Scorpius.
  • Scorpius, sweating: Uh... Did you survive the Killing Curse? Because you're drop dead gorgeous!
  • Draco:
  • Lucius: ...Might make him think you're after his father? Try another one.
  • Scorpius: How about... Wanna open my Chamber of Secrets?
  • Lucius: Uh–
  • Scorpius: Ooh! or — Hagrid's not the only giant on campus!
  • Draco: SCORPIUS
  • Lucius: Do you have anything less forward??
  • Scorpius: ...Let's have a wand fight at Midnight?
  • Draco: Doesn't work.
1. Let go of anyone that doesn’t make you feel happy and cut the ties, no matter how good of a friend that person was. If they no longer make you feel good, if they no longer make an effort to stay in contact, make sure to distance yourself. Maybe things will relax in time, maybe they won’t. But don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care.
2. Don’t try to run from pain. Don’t shut it out. Face it, cry, scream, throw a pillow at the wall - do whatever makes you feel better, then try to find closure and start over. You can’t outrun pain, it will catch up to you sooner or later.
3. Take care of yourself. You are important. Don’t neglect your own needs because you’re so focused on putting the people you love first.
4. Accept your flaws, your scars and the mistakes you made. Embrace them. They make you who you are.
5. Tell people how you feel about them. I have a hard time taking my own advice, but I know what it’s like to regret not opening up to someone only to be confronted with the situation that you no longer can. There is so much to gain, nothing to lose.
6. Don’t be scared to dream. If there is something you want to do with your life, don’t let someone else’s opinion stop you.
7. Be patient. If I have learned anything this year, it’s that everything moves at its own pace, whether it’s the amount of time your heart needs to heal or the weeks or months or years you need to move on. Small steps, always.
8. Forgive others - and forgive yourself. Forgiving doesn’t equal forgetting, it doesn’t mean that you should accept destructive and abusive behaviour from someone else (or yourself, for that matter). Forgiving sets your soul free. You’ll feel lighter and better.
9. Read more. Books are magical. There is no easier way to escape your own thoughts for a couple of hours than reading.
10. Make time for people you love. Distance means nothing if you keep them close to you in your heart. Talk to them, text them, ask them how they are and what they’ve been up to and also: listen to them. It’s so important to listen.
—  10 things to keep in mind for 2017
n.j.

listen i’m never gonna shut up about the look on Cas’ face after Dean said “we don’t leave family behind” because THIS is exactly what Cas has struggled with for so many years. He always gets left behind, either by the angels or by the Winchesters, and he’s never quite felt like he belongs anywhere. But for Dean to straight up tell him that they won’t leave him behind, that they would rather die trying to save him, is such a powerful moment. It was important for Cas to hear that and I hope he keeps getting these affirmations because he desperately needs them.

Imagine your boss, Dean Winchester, flirting with you every time he can.

“And last but far from least-” you let a small sigh, looking at the door in case someone was coming “Mr Fury asked to see you.”

“Fury? As in Nick Fury?” Dean raised and eyebrow, his interest peaking.

“Exactly. It either has to do with the damage you and Mr Stark caused on your small trip around town or-”

Dean chuckled, leaning back in his chair “Come on (Y/n), we were drunk!”

“That does not justify it. On the contrary, it was reckless to go take his suits while being drunk.” you said with a pointed look and his smile turned into a softer one.

“You know-” he leaned forward so that he was closer to you “I love it when you care so much about me.”

“Mr Winchester.” you scolded softly, not meeting his eyes but still unable to hide a small smile from your face.

“I thought that by now we had agreed on that, sweetheart. It’s Dean.” he said, sounding a little disappointed.

“You know that can’t happen, Mr Winchester.” you mumbled, starting to place all of his files in place. Anything to keep you occupied from looking him in the eyes “I’m your assistant.”

“Well then we can arrange that. I could always fire you.” he gave you a cheeky grin as with wide eyes your head snapped to him.

“What?” you stood there frozen for a second until he started laughing at your expression.

“Just kidding. There’s no way on Earth I would fire my most trusted worker.” he shook his head “Besides, this enterprises would crumble down without you here to be honest.”

“Glad you appreciate my job then, Mr Winchester.” you chuckled with a small sigh of relief, shaking your head at your boss.

He rolled his eyes for a moment “That’s just not going to go away easily, is it?” he huffed, almost disappointed and you bit the inside of your cheek; still not looking at him.

“Wish it could.” you mumbled and saw him from the corner of your eye get up and walk towards you.

“You know it can-” you almost jumped at how close he had gotten without you realizing it, his breath only fanning over your cheek and his hand on your back “It’s all up to you.”

“Mr Winchester please-” you glanced at the door nervously “Someone might walk in. I just- I don’t want them to think I am taking advantage of-”

“Of who? Me? Sweetheart by all means, do so.” he gave you a boyish grin and you couldn’t stop a chuckle at his words, shaking your head.

“No. Of the time I spend with you. I- I worked hard to get this position.”

“I know, I saw it for myself.” he frowned slightly “That’s why you got the promotion.”

“Yeah, well if they see us like this they’re not going to think exactly that Mr Winchester. I don’t want people to assume I am here because I am sleeping with my boss.” you placed a hand on his chest, regretting it but still pushing him away. You couldn’t even dare look him in the eyes, you couldn’t take the heartbroken look on his face.

“But they don’t have to see us, if that’s the problem.” he suggested after a long pause and you frowned.

“What?”

“I mean if that’s what you’re most scared of- we don’t really have to tell everyone. Let them find out on our wedding day.” he added with a wink and you couldn’t help but giggle at him.

“Mr Winchester-” you started with a small whine but you knew you didn’t have an excuse good enough. Honestly you were mostly trying to convince yourself that you couldn’t be with him than him in the first place. Besides, it was your own feelings you had been battling with mostly these days than your boss’s advances and flirty remarks.

“Come on, just give me a chance. You’ll see I’m not that bad!” he threw his arms in the air and you bit your lip.

“Mr-” you stopped yourself “Dean, I know you’re not.” you confessed looking him in the eyes “And I know that if the circumstances were different- I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. Especially after such a surprise.” you added with a chuckle and he grinned.

“You like them?” he remembered the flowers he had sent to your apartment. One of his many attempts in getting you “Took my brother’s advice in it.”

“The flowers were amazing, really.” you admitted “But I was mostly referring to the sweets, especially the pie.”

“Well, that one was my idea actually.” he confessed, full of pride and you giggled.

“Oh I bet!” you shook your head with a laugh.

“Say-” he spoke up, a hand again being placed on your back “How about I take you out… for pie and burgers and we can make a fresh start?”

“Dean” you sighed “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Hell to no.” he confessed.

“May I ask you- why are you so interested in me? Up until a few months ago I was just one of the secretaries until I became your personal assistant. But still- nothing more.” you dared look him in the eyes, only to see confusion written all over his face.

“I think we’ve made it clear that you got this position because you are the only one that actually puts effort into their work. Plus, you’re the only one that knows me so well and doesn’t dress up on purpose to show off and turn me on.” he shrugged, before pressing you close to him “That happens either way.” he added and you rolled your eyes at his cheekiness.

“I’m only wearing a white blouse and pencil shirt.” you mumbled.

“As I said- too fucking hot.” he growled almost in your ear and for the first time you let him kiss your cheek without you pushing him away.

“Dean” the way his name left your lips was definitely something you weren’t planning on.

Dean grinned widely “See? Already getting there-” he licked his lips “Do you really want to know why I am so interested in you?” he said in a low rough voice “Because you’re special. Because every morning you have walked in my office, hair a mess, no make up on and clothes a little a little wrinkled with a few buttons undone-” he paused for a moment, his eyes roaming your body “I can only think of how gorgeous you look, and how I’d love to see this sight every fucking morning. Especially after an intense night of-” he paused grinning up at you, only to see a hint of red on your cheeks.

“Gosh I would so love that.” he breathed out huskily, his breath tingling your lips as his face stood only a few inches away from yours.

“I’m- I’m not that-”

“I swear to god, if you complete that sentence I am just going to grab you and prove you wrong right here and now in any way you can imagine.” he said with a slight growl and you swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling yourself shiver when his hands started traveling. You couldn’t deny you liked it a little too much.

“Do you even know the things you do to me when you lean over my desk?” he whispered, resting his forehead on the side of your head; his lips brushing past your ear “With those tight, black skirts. I’ve had such a fucking hard time concentrating during meetings just because of you. You don’t even have to touch me, hell not even say something and I know I am a goner. I can’t think straight when you are in the same room. And gosh, you’re not even doing it on purpose. You’re so clueless.” he grinned “So adorably clueless.”

“Mr Winchester” you whispered, fisting his suit jacket in your hand.

“And the way you say that- I hated it so much at first, it felt like you put a wall between us. I still do but at the same time-it sounds so innocent, so unintentional that you can’t realize how cute and hot it sounds at the same time.” he chuckled and you bit your lip.

“And as if all of that is not enough you- you are such an amazing woman. You actually listen to me when I need it, you try to understand me and you- you love rock too. You listen to me ramble about my car when my own brother always tries to make me shut up when I do. You actually know so much about me, every side of me, that no other woman I’ve been with has ever known. And that’s only because you are the one interested.”

“I can’t help it you know.” you whispered, looking at him through your eyelashes.

“I know. Trust me baby, I know.” he breathed out, cupping your face and before you had the time to react he crashed his lips to yours.

The Foxes are all over in Matt and Aaron’s room

  • Andrew and Neil have been in the kitchen together a little too long when Aaron calls from the next room “Could you not have sex in my kitchen?”
  • The upperclassmen quickly make bets on how injured Aaron is going to get for that comment
  • Andrew pops into the doorway of the kitchen to argue “We weren’t having sex in the kitchen. But I did give him a blowjob on the couch you’re sitting on.”
  • Matt does a fucking full blown spit take and definitely ends up with some coffee up his nose
  • Dan pats him on the back with one hand while he chokes
  • With her other hand, she takes his coffee out of his hand and sets it on the table so that he won’t spill it
  • Aaron looks absolutely horrified, which is of course the reaction Andrew is going for and so of course it eggs him on
  • “You could go for a shower to wash the filth off, but then again I blew him in there too.”
  • And Aaron already has to hear enough about his cousin’s sex life, he doesn’t need to hear about his twin’s, so he’s like “Stop.
  • But Andrew’s just listing off locations that he’s done sexual things with Neil in in the same bored tone a waiter uses when they’re running through their memorized list of specials
  • And everyone is just staring at him because Andrew doesn’t talk about him and Neil or show any form of PDA and now suddenly he will not shut up about the sexual favours he performs for Neil
  • “Oh, and I gave him a handjob against that wall, right beside your desk.”
  • “Shut the fuck up.”
  • “And don’t forget whose bed that was before you switched rooms.”
  • Andrew!

“You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can’t fool me. I know who you are.“

“You don’t know anything about me loser.”

“I know everything about you. I know you play like you’re the meanest in the heart but actually you’re the most scared of all.”

“Shut-up!”

“I know you steal batteries you don’t need and you push away anyone who’s willing to put up with you because just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is.”

“I said shut-up!”

“I know them scientist that made you never gave a rats ass about you.”

“I’m serious dude!”

“Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby to slavery. I know who you are boy, because you’re me!”

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
  • Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
  • Grover Underwood
  • Just everything he’s ever done
  • Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 
  • “I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
  • When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
  • Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
  • That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 
  • When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
  • The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 
  • The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
  • Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
  • Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
  • You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
  • Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
  • When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
  • The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
  • The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
  • Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
  • The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
  • Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
  • “the real world is where the monsters are” 
  • The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
  • When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
  • When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 
  • Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 
  • Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
  • Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 
  • IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
  • lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
  • When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
  • The entire bus scene oh my God
  • “I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
  • Annabeth on a fury’s back 
  • the explosion. just. all gr8. 
  • When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 
  • “You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!” 
  • Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 
  • Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
  • Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
  • Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
  • When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
  • When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
  • Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 
  • When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 
  • “Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
  • Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 
  • When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 
  • “I am Echidna!”
  • “Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
  • I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 
  • How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 
  • ‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
  • There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 
  • Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
  • THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
  • Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
  • Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
  • The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 
  • Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 
  • Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
  • Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 
  • THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
  • Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
  • “What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
  • “I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
  • Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
  • ‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 
  • “I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
  • “Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
  • “It only works on wild animals.”
  • “So it would only effect Percy…”
  • “HEY!” 
  • When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
  • Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
  • When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
  • Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
  • CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 
  • Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
  • The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
  • “We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
  • Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 
  • Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 
  • Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 
  • ‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 
  • When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
  • “what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
  • when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 
  • When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 
  • My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 
  • ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
  • My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 
  • The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 
  • Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 
  • Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 
  • Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
  • Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
  • Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
  • Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 
  • A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 
  • Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
  • ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
  • Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 
  • Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 
  • I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 
  • whoops
  • Magnus: Michelangelo was great in bed.
  • Magnus: I know because I slept with him.
  • Magnus: Because I'm attracted to men.
  • Magnus: 'Cause I'm not straight.
  • Magnus: Like SUPER not straight!
  • Alec: .....
  • Magnus: I'M ALSO CURRENTLY SINGLE!
Being college roommates with Peter Parker would include

Done with the amAZING @purelyparker  

  • When you move in you walk into the dorm and the first person you see is Aunt May
  • She’s just folding all of Peter’s clothes and making his bed (doing Mom stuff)
  • Peter’s in the corner of the room like “Aunt Mayyyyyy” cause he’s annoyed by her doing everything but secretly loves it
  • When he sees you at the door he immediately drops what he’s doing and runs over to help you with your boxes
  • But he kinda trips
  • Cause his side of the room is still all messy
  • And so your first meeting is basically just him uncomfortably tackling you
  • “ohmygoshimsosorryareyouokayhereletmehelpyouwithyourthings”
  • May starts to leave and Peter gets all e m o t i o n a l
  • But he wants to seem tough so he tries to hold in his tears
  • As soon as she leaves though he’s a goner 
  • He starts BAWLING AW BABYY
  • You don’t really know what to do cause he’s just apologizing to you the whole time
  • Once he calms down a lil bit you go and sit with him and try to make him laugh
  • It works and he stops sniffling
  • “I’m just really gonna miss her”
  • After that he’s convinced he made an awful first impression 
  • Even though you found it really touching
  • But he does everything in his power to make you like him
  • He’ll come back to the dorm with an assortment of cookies
  • “I didn’t know which kind you liked”
  • You guys eat cookies and laugh and watch some tv while you set up your beds and stuff
  • He’s still convinced you hate him though :’(
  • He sees you brought a joke book and so he flips through it and tries to memorize the funny ones to weave into conversation
  • Like he actually tells knock-knock jokes when he knocks on the door
  • “Knock, knock!”
  • “Peter you can just come in”
  • “You’re supposed to say who’s there”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Disc”
  • “Disc who?”
  • “Disc is a recorded message…” *snicker*
  • You laugh a lil extra to make him feel better
  • Then he starts trying to impress you with like clique guy things
  • He legit prints out the Wikipedia page for “Football” 
  • The kid studies the page
  • So when you guys actually go to your college’s football game he cheers like the entire time even though he has 0 idea what’s going on
  • But that’s okay because you buy you guys pom poms and you both just cheer together and are just really cute
  • “Wait do you actually know what’s going on”
  • “No, Peter, I don’t like sports”
  • “Oh thank GOD
  • He quits the act and you can tell he’s a lot less squeamish around you
  • Okay okay but both of you hate going to class
  • You are both always, always late but you kiss up to the professor for each other so it’s okay
  • Sometimes you guys will take turns going to class
  • Your schedules are almost identical anyway
  • Peter will take notes in class and bring them back to you to copy if he heard that you went to bed really late the night before
  • He’ll actually turn your alarms off because he knows you need your sleep
  • If you fall asleep studying he’ll put a blanket over you
  • And then a pillow under your head
  • And just do so much to make you comfy that he’ll wake you up
  • “Peter what are you -”
  • “Shhh, shh, go back to sleep”
  • He’ll take selfies with you while you sleep though
  • Like pose with you and make stupid faces and all that cute stuff
  • He’ll draw mustaches on you
  • “If I can’t grow facial hair then you should be able to”
  • And then he’ll send them to you so that when you wake up you can see him giving you bunny ears while you druel on your paper
  • You actually find out about him being Spiderman within like the first couple weeks though
  • Cause he always swings aiming for your guys’ room but might end up crashing into someone else’s
  • Why do all the rooms have to look the same??”
  • He always accidentally puts his suit in with all of your laundry though so everything always shrinks and turns pink
  • But Peter actually has no clue how to do laundry
  • “Can’t I just send May my clothes? I can send yours too, if ya want”
  • “Peter we are not sending your aunt clothes to wash
  • He tries to use detergent once but puts way too much in and everything smells like soap for like four weeks
  • He doesn’t know how to go grocery shopping either
  • He’ll like send you pictures of stuff at the store cause he doesn’t know which brand mac and cheese to get you guys don’t even need mac and cheese
  • You try to help but he just is afraid he’ll mess it up so he comes home with like 17 boxes 
  • “Peter are those all mac and cheese boxes?”
  • “There were just so many - I chose the ones that looked the yummiest”
  • He ends up trying to cook the mac and cheese in the microwave in a plastic bowl without any water and a metal spoon
  • Soooo the fire alarm goes off and the whole building has to evactuate
  • He’s so careful about showering and stuff
  • He hates communal showers
  • “What if I get… like.. foot fungus?”
  • He’s so sweet about you showering so innocent
  • “Peter can you hand me some shampoo”
  • “Are you sure?”
  • “Peter I need shampoo”
  • He falls over everything because he was covering his eyes and shutting them
  • “Peter are you okay? What’s taking so long?”
  • “I fell in the toilet”
  • “You wh AT?”
  • Peter loves your girly shampoo
  • He uses it like every day but never wants to fess up to it
  • You totally realize you’re going through it a lot faster though but it’s okay because it makes his hair smell so good and he knows it
  • OKAY BUT PETER ASKS FOR GIRL HELP LIKE 25/7
  • Before he goes on a date he’ll buy like seven colognes and ask which one “gives off nice guy vibes”
  • “It’s cologne Peter, none of them do”
  • He’ll find your bras and thongs lying around sometimes and feel really bad when he does
  • Thongs confuse him so much though
  • “But… where does the… where does the butt go?”
  • Peter oh my gosh
  • One day he actually just asks “what are turn ons”
  • One time you guys tried kissing but vowed never to again because you’re friends
  • On your period he is so damn clique
  • Like buys you a bunch of ice cream and stuff
  • “What size, uh, tampons do you wear?”
  • “Peter did you go to the store just to get me tampons?”
  • “…Yeah, uh, about that, what do they look like? Like I know what they look like but what does the box look like?”
  • “Peter you don’t have to get me tampons I have plenty”
  • “But… what if you run out?”
  • On Valentine’s Day you guys will just chill in the dorm and pretend to be chocolate connoisseurs 
  • “Hmm this one tastes very… chocolatey” 
  • “Peter that’s the wrapper”
  • Whenever you go on dates Peter won’t let you walk home alone
  • “Peter it’s okay I’m like five minutes away” 
  • “But it’s - it’s dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
  • HES JUST TOO SWEET AND PROTECTIVE
  • Whenever he gets rejected by a girl he’ll just be super sad for the next couple of days
  • But you’ll just give him super long hugs and he’ll feel better
  • He actually loves rom coms but won’t fess up to it
  • You guys love watching shows together but can never agree on ships
  • “BUT THEY’RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER”
  • “Peter you’re WRONG”
  • “But looK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HER
  • Peter being curious about your makeup so you give him a makeover once
  • “How do I look?”
  • “You look gorgeous”
  • “R-really?”
  • “No this was an awful idea”
  • Legit pillow fights ALL THE TIME
  • Sometimes you’ll be trying to work and he’ll just jump on the bed to try to distract you
  • “Peter will you stop jumping?
  • “YOU’VE BEEN WORKING FOR SO LONG”
  • You guys will 100% have Star Wars marathons after midterms
  • Then you’ll get all geeky and make another Lego Death Star to decorate your dorm
  • Also video-chatting Aunt May whenever possible
  • Peter will leave lil inspirational and positive post-it notes around everywhere when he sees you’re stressed or sad
  • You guys just care so much about each other it’s ridiculous
  • Peter always sleeps with a bear and a night light though because honestly he’s still just a little boy
  • Sometimes he’ll have really bad nightmares and you will get up to calm him down
  • He occasionally loses his bear too, so you serve as replacement
  • He loves being the little spoon
  • He’s memorized your coffee order and will go on a coffee run to help you during all-nighters
  • Also he knows your food order for literally every restaurant around you because you guys get take out 4/7 days of the week
  • Your guys’ favorite is Thai of course
  • Cause you larb each other
  • Oh yeah PUNS ALL THE TIME TOO
  • You steal his pun shirts because they’re just too pure
  • “Have you seen my telekinesis shirt?”
  • “Which one? Thiiiiis one?”
  • “THATS MINE YOU CANT JUST WEAR IT WHENEVER YOU WANT
  • But honestly you can wear it whenever cause Peter finds it endearing
  • Literally everything you do Peter finds endearing
  • And you for him
  • You guys are just the best
  • Best friends and just the. best.