because i need thorin and bilbo to be happy

N is for Nerds

“Don’t you dare!” Bilbo yelled just a fraction of a second before he felt Thorin’s hands come into contact with his arse. He whipped around and smacked the dwarf’s shoulder. “I said: don’t.”

“Well,” Thorin chuckled. “How could I resist when you’re leaning over your desk like that?”

Bilbo sighed and went back to searching for the map, keenly aware of Thorin lingering in the doorway. He glanced over his shoulder several times, his expression becoming more and more confused when Thorin’s cheeky smile only seemed to grow.

“What?” He finally asked.

“Nothing at all.”

And then he was gone, but as he turned, Bilbo noticed his hands, which had been hidden behind his back, had the remnants of flour on them. He twisted and saw two dusty white handprints on his behind.

“Thorin!” The answer to his outraged cry was a rumble of laughter from somewhere further into the smial, Bilbo turned on his heel and went in search of his husband. “You impudent dwarf, get back here!”

Before he could get any further than the kitchen Bilbo found himself caught between a very warm dwarf and a very solid wall, he gave Thorin’s braid a sharp tug but accepted his kiss anyway. Bilbo could feel the way Thorin smiled into the kiss, the slight firmness of his lips and the way little snuffles of air from his nose tickled his cheek.

“You are ridiculous.” Bilbo stated when they eventually parted.

“Yes.” Thorin agreed, his eyes sparkled and small creases appeared at the edges when he smiled again. “And so are you, now come to bed, I missed you today.”

When Bilbo dies, Thorin is both sad and relieved - sad, because he knows now he will truly never see Bilbo again, because he will no longer be able to watch over him from the Halls of His Fathers now that Bilbo is gone to wherever hobbits go when they die; relieved because Bilbo is finally at peace now. Thorin resigns himself to this fate, because it if it means Bilbo is happy, then that’s enough.

So imagine his surprise when one day not long after, there is a knock on his door and he opens it to find one very familiar Burglar on the doorstep of his rooms, holding two cups of tea. Before Thorin can react, Bilbo says, almost petulantly:

“I once said tea was at four. Apparently, you didn’t listen, because you never listen, do you, and I waited, but you never came. I waited for a few decades, actually, but when you were still late I just assumed you got lost, just like last time. So I decided to come to you instead. To make sure you never got lost again…that I never lost you again.”

And really it’s a wonder no tea is spilt when Thorin hugs him and holds on to him for dear life (oh the irony). Thorin doesn’t really care how Bilbo managed to come where he was never supposed to go, as long as he is here, but he asks anyway, and Bilbo just shrugs and says that the Vala decided to make an exception with him on the account of something along the lines of loyalty, honour and a willing heart.

(they are together in the afterlife, I will fight you on this)

Fic Rec Time

Anonym hat gesagt: Do you have any hobbit fic recs?

I did some recs a while ago, so i’ll be using the same parameters. Aaand:

Crates and Water by teaxdragon​ : In an attempt to smooth things over with Bard, Thorin charges Bilbo with apologizing on his behalf. Only, Bard is less in need of an apology and more in need of a burglar. Bilbo finds himself caught up in a dark web of crime and conspiracy in an attempt to unearth a deadly plot in the heart of Laketown. […]

The Heron and the Crane by Neyiea: Just because everyone survived doesn’t mean that happy endings are in store for them all.

Prize enough for me by striving-artist: “[…] The battle was over, but the price was too steep.The ring slipped onto his finger as his grasp on Sting shifted. He had gone on his hunt.”

Sanbaruf by shinigami714: Thorin’s company is separated in a snow storm atop the misty mountains. This is a slight AU where certain events don’t happen and even a small catalyst, like a change in the weather can distort future realities.

Written on his skin by serenbach86: Every burn, callus and scar on Bilbo’s skin was there for his sake, and Thorin loved him all the more for that.

these little wars of words by fideliant: Rules For Travelling With Thorin Oakenshield: Don’t let Thorin navigate.

Breathe In by keelywolfe: Hobbits cannot, in fact, swim. Drowning, however. That’s something anyone can do.

Unexpected Trouble by DietBiohazard: Thorin was right in saying that they weren’t the only ones that saw the signs of Erebor being ready to be reclaimed.

And be one traveler by alkjira​: ‘Thorin swept into the tent, hair an absolute mess and there were more dark circles beneath his eyes than Bilbo had ever seen before, but the Dwarf was gloriously alive, and all Bilbo could do for the first few moments was to gape stupidly at him.He remembered seeing Thorin lie pale and lifeless on the ground. Fíli and Kíli slumped over just a few feet away from their uncle. There had been blood, so much blood.’

omg so many possibilities for the bagginshield first kiss tho like

  • at beorn’s (thank you tony i’m devastated)
  • right after the barrels, when thorin finds bilbo in the water and they are just so relieved to have escaped thranduil’s dungeon with their lives and just so happy to be near one another again and it all just comes rushing out
  • in laketown, after bilbo vouches for thorin, before the party or during or after, sober or tipsy
  • in laketown the morning they leave, one of them grabs the other gently but firmly and presses their lips together, “i wanted to do that while i still had the chance”
  • raven hill. raven hill. raven hill.
  • after the battle, while thorin is bed-ridden and healing and they don’t even need words because they never really did, did they, and it’s automatic the way bilbo bends down to kiss him where he lies, and thorin just tilts his head up into the kiss and thinks it’s the most inevitable thing that’s ever happened to him and also the luckiest
sheep on tracks au

where bilbo and thorin are both on trains that stop because of sheep and they spot each other across the train windows and hit it off, with bilbo writing messages on his notebook and holding it up to the window so thorin can see and thorin trying to hide behind his newspaper pretending to not sneak glances bc damn that man is cute 

avelera replied to your post:thoughttrainderailed replied to your post:avelera…

Oh my GOD. Bilbo getting back for the pet names by turning our dear overly passionate Thorin on? Fuck yes. Dinner party where Thorin is laying the pet names on thick and it is WAR when Bilbo goes straight for the under-the-table feel-up :3

omg y e s and the first time Bilbo does it the little shit is JUST SUBTLE ENOUGH that it takes Thorin a bit to realize that no he’s not just being a huge perv (i mean he is but…), because Bilbo is in fact doing this shit on purpose.

Like it starts with Bilbo’s happy little sighs about food that are JUST this side of dirty to make Thorin a little twitchy. so he lays on a few more pet names because he needs to get the upper hand back here ok he’s a bit of a competitive shit even when he doesn’t yet realize there is a competition.

so he’s like “Holder of my heart”

And Bilbo sighs “Thorin…” but it’s just SLIGHTLY different it’s not quiet the exasperated “THORIN…” it’s a little breathy and a little soft and Thorin just about chokes on his wine because there are some MEMORIES that is stirring up so he’s all “be cool be cool”

And then he looks up. And Bilbo looks him in the eyes while licking some food off his fingers. And Thorin’s just about to think “is he doing this on puRPOSE????”

Then bilbo winks

About BOTFA...

It’s been one week, and I’m still not over BOTFA.

So I need more happy fanfictions & headcanons about Barduil, Bagginshield, and Kiliel, where everyone lives, where Bard is never going to die and will stay by Thranduil’s side forever thanks to some random magic, Legolas is happy for his father and likes the idea of having younger siblings, Kili and Tauriel get married and have many kids, and Thorin leaves with Bilbo to see some other parts of the world, and they ends up planting trees together. Oh, and Fili becomes King. Because Thorin is tired of this shit, and wants to be with his cute little Hobbit forever.

No seriously, I need this. And I don’t think I’m the only one, am I ? (◕‿◕✿)

AU where Bilbo travels all the way back home with the thought that Thorin died in his mind but months later, there’s a knock on the door and standing there is Thorin Oakenshield with a chest of gold and a smile on his face. Bilbo stands there in shock before jumping at the dwarf to hug him, spilling the gold but not even caring because right there in front of him is the man he fell in love with. Breathing, alive, and happy.

Bilbo: In all my life, I never thought I would be so lucky…as to fall in love with my best–my best–
There’s a reason why Hobbits don’t do this! 

Thorin: I thought it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized, the only thing that matters is that you–you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. 

Bilbo: I knew you were likely to take a consort! 

Inspired by one of the most iconic proposals on network television. And this