because i love them and even if a disagree i love how you can express yourself without caring if people will like or not

Hetalia Aph Spain Rant

I’m sorry to say I would highly disagree  with Spain being a yandere. Yes many people like the idea of him being a yandere but I just can’t see him being a yandere at all. It just doesn’t match with whom he has worked  up to be , his morals and personality.

Spain is a man who respects others. Yes he does sometimes  make mistakes and invades others personal space but he can’t read the atmosphere well and is an oblivious ,laid back man. He is a very old country who cares deeply about true love and passion. With how long he has lived comes a good handful of wisdom and knowledge.

As all of you may know,  Spain was not the man we all know and love today. He was a selfish, cold-hearted,  arrogant, violent man with a short temper. I could understand  if he was a yandere  man before but not anymore. After the fall of his empire he was bound to come to the realization that what he was doing was wrong. He had the blood of thousands  of people on his hands and the way he interpreted  love and how he treated others.

No one can change quickly and easily. So of course he had to put a lot of effort into changing to be the man we all and know today.  He had to understand  and grasp what love really was.  That love was something that good be either platonic  or not. It’s a connection,  and feeling of trust, understanding, and believing  in one another. Love is allowing yourself to be who you really are to your significant other and learning to trust them without a doubt,  knowing them like you know yourself and wanting stay with them forever.  Through thick and thin, tough and gentle. Love is wanting to enjoy  life with them,  making life more bearable, showing  them beauty and helping them achieve their goals.

Now that we understand why Spain is not a yandere  let’s talk about why he isn’t a yandere  for his significant  other.  Let go with Romano (because lets go with the most common  ship for him)

Romano  is the a part of Italy, Spain raised him and spoiled him rotten. Romano was always the one he wanted to protect,  he took pride  in him. He wasted every cent he had on spoiling him to the point where he had to wear rags because he could afford  any clothes for HIMSELF. He never touched him in any way that would make him uncomfortable  and was in general,  the most supportive man there was around to Romano,even as a empire.

In modern times  Spain tries to keep a strong connection  with him and has long endless calls about his life. I have seen enough comic strips from Himapapa to understand that as long as Romano is happy and ok,  Spain is  content  and happy with his life even if his life is crashing down. It reminds  him that the world is still spinning  and that the one he cares about is safe and happy.

Now.. Let’s explain  what a yandere is. They are technically people  who have gone so crazy with love that they are borderline crazy or are insane. They won’t let  anything or anyone in there way and won’t hesitate to destroy or eliminate  anyone in their way. They will even force their love onto the other person thinking they love them back or don’t care if the other doesn’t. They will try to make you fall in love with them.

Thinking about how Spain had practically  asked Romano  if he would marry him ,in a comic strip where Spain  announced gay marriage  legal, when he heard Romano’s response he took it as rejection and what did he do? How did he respond? He did nothing but cry and go complain  to France. He didn’t press Romano to marry him or force anything in him, as a yandere would.

Many Hetalian’s I have seen have used the fact that Himapapa has confirmed that when Spain  is drunk he becomes so scary that “-it’s enough to change even Sweden’s facial  expression”

Um.. What?! Why are you using this as your evidence? You back up? Your support?! This does not in any way shape or form prove your point of him being a yandere. So yes he is an angry drunk and it’s absolutely terrifying but that doesn’t mean he is yandere. People tend to act as their minds without filters  when they are drunk.

As said before Spain has  taken a long time to change to who he is know and it can be quite  a bizarre scene to see him upset. However that is completely  normal for any human being. We all get mad  and when we first see some we know mad for the first time, we all feel uncomfortable. It’s not something our mind is accustomed  to seeing often.

Spain will have his moments where he can be angry and I will not standby and stay silent at the fact that people like to label Spain  as something awful when he has worked hard to become such a wonderful and selfless man and yet is still struggling with his own problems.

Romano and Him would have a beautiful  relationship. It might have started out rocky but it gradually  became  steady as they grew to know each other more than they thought they already knew.

They would have the kind of relationship where they wake up and Spain give Romano  a morning  kiss,  Romano  would roll his eyes and call him stupid, but Spain would know that Romano love him and that was just how Romano was to everyone. They would change each other for the better and help even each other burden. Their relationship might not be perfect  or even normal compared  to other relationships,  but at the end of the day they would have a deep understanding  for each other. They knew that the other only wanted the best for them and that they would protect  and love each other forever.

They would show their love by small yet meaningful actions  or even  by giant damn parade with fireworks. Whatever  it is,  Spain is not a controlling yandere  who would ever dream or dare to hurt Romano or anyone he lived and cared about.

You can not tell me that Spain would definitely  be yandere anymore or now. You CAN tell me a had the possibility  of being one back then, but until proven otherwise by the creator  that Spain is some crazy, murder raging rapist,  which I highly doubt it,  you cannot not tell me this man can be a yandere. It’s just not even him. Don’t tell me about what people in history did.  I want to know about HETALIA  SPAIN

Hetalia  is suppose to be something funny. A comedy version  with stereotypes of countries yelling and acting stupid,  it’s suppose to be something  enjoyable  and silly. Not something for us to take and destroy the characters personality and make them total jerks. I know we can all be better than this and make the characters beautiful  and shine.

I have been apart of the Hetalia fandom for almost three whole years. I spent two of the three years trying to understand each character thoroughly enough before I ever try to label them as something  so harsh.

I will not say that I am not guilty of the fact that I use to like the idea of Spain  being a yandere,  but that was my first year of  being in Hetalia.
I now know  better than to label someone something just because everyone  else does before you really ever get to know them truly.


Thank you  and goodbye*drops the mic*

Kpop is disappointing...

Why you might ask? Because these days people only care about views, charts and popularity. They don’t care about music.


First I would like to start with youtube views.

Why are you acting like the views on YT is the only thing that matters? People are so obsessed these days. “Hurry! We have to reach 200M views otherwise this other group will hit 200M views first! And they’re not talented as our queens!”

I’m sorry, but legends will stay legends, it doesn’t matters who hit 200M views first. And why do people insult singers/groups who have been in the music industry for +8 years just because they have less views than new groups?

The legendary 1st & 2nd generation idols won’t hit 200M views in a few years or in a few months and guess what? They’re still legends no matter what.

Older groups have fans who are also older and they’re not that active online anymore. People grow up, they don’t have the time to listen to the same song for 8 hours just so their favorite group hits 10M views in 24 hours. So yes it might looks like they’re losing fans and it looks like new groups are more popular than them. But in reality their fans still love them, they listen to their songs and they still buy their albums. So stop acting like they lost their “legendary” title just because their songs have less views.


Now let’s talk about charts.

Just because your favorite group is topping the music charts doesn’t mean that they’re THE best ~ no shade to any popular groups but you don’t realize that: some underrated groups are WAY more talented than popular groups, sadly not many people know them and new kpop fans only care about popular groups. (Which is understandable, when you’re a new kpop fan you have to start somewhere, and groups that are popular at the moment will introduce you to kpop.)

Underrated groups who are extremely talented probably won’t ever get a trophy or win some kind of award, why? Not because they’re not talented but because TALENT is not enough: you have to be under a good agency or simply have luck like EXID.

Your group is topping the charts? GOOD FOR THEM. But you don’t have to preach how talented they are and how all other groups suck. Of course there will be people who will disagree with you, they think that some other song should be #1 and I don’t really see a problem here. If they expressed their opinion KINDLY you don’t have to attack them and start insulting their favorite group and other idols’ looks. Believe it or not but people will start hating your immature fandom and most likely won’t even give your favorite group a chance. I heard plenty of people saying that they don’t listen to a certain group because their fandom is so messy. People will start hating that group.


And can we talk how you only have to be popular to have “the best debut ever or the best song ever” again no shade to any group out there, they’re all extremely hard-working. For example you won’t ever see Domino game (Kiss&Cry), Why should I (Awesome baby), We’re a bit different (EvoL), 1, 2, 3 (Purfles) on that list, (and yes 3 groups that I mentioned already disbanded) but they had better debut than most popular groups. Again no shade to popular groups, but the media is so lazy, they will write a ton of pointless articles about someone, but they won’t mention underrated groups or which groups debuted. I guarantee you that you probably don’t know 50% of the groups that debuted last year (if you’re someone who gets their info only on sites like allkpop).


Now let’s talk about GIRL GROUPS. Again why do you have to compliment your favorite artist and bring others down? For example: “I love how this group can be sexy without being half naked or finally a group that’s not slutty.”

If your group comes from a big company there is a big chance that they don’t even need sexy concept to get attention. But hey guess what YOU HAVE BEEN IGNORING TALENTED GROUPS FOR YEARS, YOU ONLY NOTICED THEM WHEN THEY CAME OUT WITH A SEXY MV… and you’re seriously asking yourself “why are these whores half naked?” I don’t know… maybe because people ignored them since they debuted and this was their last chance to get some attention otherwise they could disband?  


DAILY REMINDER:

YOUR GROUP IS THE BEST AND SOMEONE ELSES’ GROUP IS ALSO THE BEST… BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT TASTE IN MUSIC.

POPULARITY DOES NOT EQUAL TALENT.

YOUTUBE VIEWS DOES NOT EQUAL TALENT.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR FAVORITE GROUP IS TOPPING THE MUSIC CHARTS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CAN INSULT EVERYONE ELSE. OR EVEN WORSE - INSULTING ARTISTS WHO ALREADY ACHIEVED SO MUCH & HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS BUT ATM THEY’RE NOT #1.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR FAVORITE GIRL GROUP IS POPULAR AND DOESN’T NEED SEXY CONCEPTS TO GET MORE ATTENTION THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU CAN INSULT OTHER GROUPS WHO ARE DESPERATE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT DISBAND SOON.

The Chase of Love (Jason Todd x Reader) | Part Three

Warnings: Swearing.
Tagged: @grumpycheshirecat
A/N: The sentence: “You know ‘give me a warning’ means let me know before they come in here!” was suggested by grumpycheshirecat. Thank you! :)

You were just getting out of the shower when you saw Jason frantically moving about and tossing things around. With a towel wrapped around your body, you walk over to him with a somewhat amused and confused expression on your face.

“Jay?” You begin, gaining his attention and having to hold back a smirk when his eyes widen and his face reddens. “You lose something?”

“N-No,” He quickly turns back to his work, ‘sneaking’ glances back at you. “I was looking for something to pack our essentials up.”

You become serious. “Is everything okay? What happened?”

“Nothing that should make you freak out, we should be able to get out of here in time.” He looks back at to see you look unconvinced. “Okay, fine, look,” He pauses to bite his lip. “My… big brother may be onto us.”

“Onto what exactly?” You ask, until your brain seems to register it. “You haven’t told your family about me.”

“Okay, I know that look, but trust me, it’s better that they don’t know.”

“Why? Are you ashamed of me?”

“Fuck no! I love you more than myself, that isn’t it! They’re–” He stammers and gestures a bit wildly with his arms. “They’re them. Intrusive and a lot to deal with and just– they won’t stop bugging us when they find out.”

“Well, if they’re so intrusive won’t they figure it out anyway?”

“Yes, Y/N, Dick has already begun to figure it out, which is exactly why we have to leave!” He sighs in a small amount of relief when he finds a suitcase and flops it onto the bed. “It’ll at least prolong the search, especially with the new security measures I installed.”

You hum. “Well, if you’ve been so careful at keeping me your little secret, how is he figuring it out?”

“I guess my behavior has changed, according to him, or some bullshit.” He begins shoving various belongs into the case.

“Changed how?” You shiver, and begin getting dressed into actual clothes to warm yourself up.

“I’m a lot less grumpy or something. I was focused on patrolling instead of listening to him rambling about my change in moods or whatever the fuck– until he just fucking gaped at me and said in a matter-of-fact tone ‘you found the one’. And holy shit, how fucking cheesy is that sentence? He had a stupid shit-eating grin on his face too and just–” He looks over at you, who is now fully dressed and becomes slightly tense. “Wh-what? What’s that look for?”

You walk up to him, and pull him into a kiss before he can even process what’s happening. He’s not complaining about it, though. When you pull back you lean your forehead against his with a large smile on your face.

“What was that for?” He whispers.

“For being sweet without even realizing it.” At his look of confusion you giggle. “I’ve been making you happier.”

“Well, yeah.”

“And it shows. That’s why they’ve figured it out. Mr. Big Bad Red Hood isn’t so ‘bad’ anymore.”

He rolls his eyes with a small scoff. “I think criminals would disagree.”

“Jason,” He hums, signifying you have his full attention. “Would it really be bad if I met them?”

He sighs through his nose and gives you a kiss of his own. “Probably not. I just want a little more time before they try to completely humiliate me.”

You laugh, “Then schedule it.” He looks at you as though you’ve lost your mind, and you laugh harder before continuing: “Tell them they’ve assumed right, and before they break into the place, give them a date and time of when they can come over.”

“You really think they’ll listen?”

“Well, you’d be inviting them rather than avoiding them and making them all the more curious.”

He sighs. “Fine, but if they end up breaking in within the next hour, just know, it’s your fault.”

You laugh, “Just give me a warning.”


When Jason comes back home, he looks both skeptical and surprised. His family had agreed to his terms, and were going to be coming over to visit sometime next week. The entire night, however, he’s incredibly tense to the point he decides to skip patrol because: “They’re planning something, because there’s no way they are going to just listen.”

Turns out that’s exactly what they do. Once it hits seven days, the group of vigilantes come over- and instead of using the front door like normal people, two of them enter through windows.

Jason was just cooking up some food when he heard a body flop onto the floor from the Living Room. With a sigh, he turns the stove down a tad before heading out, he leans against the doorway as he stares down at his older brother who was currently still sprawled out on the floor.

“Y’know, when I said a ‘you can visit in a week’ I didn’t mean ‘you can break and enter’. I was mostly referring to ‘maybe wait for me to call’ and ‘when you do come over, use the fucking door!’

Dick smiles a little sheepishly. “Sorry, we wanted to make sure you didn’t try to hightail out of here at the last second.”

“We?”

Before any more words could be given, your scream is heard, and Jason takes off before he’s even fully processed it. He slams open the door to your guys’ bedroom to see you leaning against the wall with a hand over your heart, and Damian, who had broken through the window, was just standing there unamused with an eyebrow raised.

You turn an embarrassed glare to Jason. “You know ‘give me a warning’ means let me know before they come in here!”

“You know, I did warn you that it was possible they’d break in!” He retorts, angrily grabbing the youngest by the collar of his shirt- earning a “tt”- and dragging him out of the room, but before he leaves he gives you a look. “And oh, hey, Y/N, my family’s here.”

You grab the closest object near you, which just so happened to be one of his gun holsters, and throw at him with all your might. He closes the door in time for it to bounce off, and you hear his amused, but also irritated with the situation, laugh. You take a few more breaths in order to calm your beating heart- because your window was shattered right behind you- and exit the room to find Jason looming over his two brothers and scolding the both of them. The oldest is looking at the ground guiltily, as though he was a puppy that got caught chewing on something he wasn’t supposed to, and the youngest is looking away with an annoyed expression and his arms folded.

It’s only when there’s a knock at the front door that Jason sighs irritably and leaves to go answer it. When you turn to look back at the brothers, you squeak with a jump when you see Dick is now standing right in front of you.

“Sorry,” He says with an amused grin. “I’m Dick, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I’m Y/N,” You respond, shaking his hand when he offers it.

Jason returns to the room with four individuals following behind him, each being introduced to you as Alfred, Bruce, Tim, and Cass.

“Surprisingly, the front door actually works,” Jason quips, and before anyone can comment he adds: “You also interrupted me making dinner, so I’m going to get back to that before it burns.”

As soon as he leaves, you’re thrown a barrage of questions from his siblings. You did your best not to laugh when the first one was: “Do you have a criminal record?” Slowly, it worked from interrogation to just getting to know you better, and that’s when Bruce and Alfred joined in the conversation.

It’s another ten minutes before Jason returns, and he sees you conversing with them all happily. He takes the vacant seat next to Cass and simply listens to whatever was being said, though not entirely sure what the topic was. He didn’t really care what it was, if he was being honest, because you were smiling and that’s all that mattered.

“She’s nice,” Cass quietly speaks to him, and he nods. “She makes you happy.” He nods again. “And you make her happy.” He shrugs and she smiles. “I am glad you found each other.”

He blushes slightly as he looks down at the marking on his own wrist. “Yeah,” He glances over to see you laughing at something that was said and he smiles brightly. “Me too.”

(Fanfic) The Time Traveler 05

April 26, 2017, Wednesday [#129]

My masterlists: [Fanfiction.] [Fan edits.]

Title: The Time Traveler (Chapter 05) (Slight MC/Jake) (Slight Grace/Aleister)

Chapter Five summary: While walking in the forest and talking to the others about trust and vulnerability, Grace is startled by the observations she makes about Jake, Michelle, and herself.

Story summary: Using a time travel gun prototype, Jake McKenzie travels back to the past. By encouraging friendships between everybody to build up trust and teach each other skills, he hopes to stop a terrible future from happening.

Links to previous four (04) chapters: [01] [02] [03] [04]



Chapter Five: Say No to Sitcoms

Grace prided herself on being an observant person, but what had just occurred confused her. Just for a few moments, Jake had a terrible look of sorrow on his face, as if something were very, very wrong. That distraught look in his eyes had lasted only a couple of seconds before he had the presence of mind to hide it. MC, who had been brushing herself off from her near-slip, hadn’t seen his expression at all, but Grace had.

The most logical reason Grace could think of was that Jake had blamed himself for MC’s near-fall, but since she hadn’t even made contact with the ground, self-recrimination to that extreme wouldn’t have made any sense. So it had to be something else. Perhaps a bad memory?

She didn’t know what had caused it, but being the curious person she was, she resolved to watch Jake little more closely until she figured out. Which probably meant watching MC as well, since those two seemed to stick together like protons and electrons these days.

There was a little voice in the back of her head that told her that she was only focusing on the group’s most obvious future couple so that she could observe their flirting and possibly apply it to her interactions with… somebody… but she firmly told that voice to be quiet, because that was certainly not true.



After a short break to have lunch, they continued their hike, but unfortunately, the fairly amicable atmosphere changed very quickly.

“He’s right not to listen to Sean. Why trust him? He says what he wants, but leaving everybody behind is what he’s the best at.”

“Michelle, I’d be very surprised if you actually include yourself in that ‘everybody’ you’re referring to. Do you really think you can talk about trust with any credibility whatsoever?”

She didn’t know the whole story. How could she? These people barely spoke to her, and she to them, before they were stranded here. But there was something in Michelle’s voice that instinctively called out to Grace, a strained note that she understood - if not completely, then at least to some extent. Because Grace knew about trust; she knew about people who make promises to be there, but end up leaving others instead. Promises to listen, to care, to stay and not leave for another business meeting or technological conference.

To be fair, the promises ran out after a certain point.

Perhaps that was for the best.



Of all the people present, Zahra was probably the last person Grace would have expected to verbally disagree with, but the ongoing conversation made Grace so sad for her that she had to say something.

“Why not take the chance to open up to somebody? Spending your whole life being afraid… is that any way to live?”

Zahra looked at her incredulously.

“What are you talking about? Grace, you screamed when Raj let out that loud burp last night! Everything under the sun scares you!”

She did have a point.

“Well, I am afraid of heights, since you can, you know, die from them - and snakes try to bite you - and clowns are so absurdly cheerful they start to look like demented monsters after a while - and crustaceans are just plain scary - but those are all… things. Being close to somebody, being vulnerable with somebody; that’s something different altogether…”



Grace trailed off. Maybe she was being stupid. It wasn’t as if she had any experience in love and romance.

The first time Grace truly noticed Aleister was when he explained to her why the tree she found had wrapped itself around a metal fence, saying that the mineral-rich soil of the La Huerta island was conducive to plant growth. He hadn’t even been trying to show off; he had simply answered her question as if that sort of knowledge was familiar to him and sharing it had seemed like the logical thing to do.

That had meant something to Grace, whose own knowledge was either too much that it was alienating to her peers, or too little that it was irrelevant to her mother’s sphere of interest. The chance to have somebody with whom she could be herself, and be able to converse intelligently without feeling like she had to apologize - because sometimes she did feel that she was supposed to, but Aleister hadn’t; in fact, he had gotten offended at the mere idea that he should apologize simply for knowing more about the world than others.

But she was sure that that didn’t have anything to with romance, because people who were interested in each other acted like… well, acted like Jake and MC, who went on private jet ski excursions and were partners in swimming pool games and flirted with each other nonstop.

It wasn’t like that with her. She was only getting to know one of her classmates better. She felt like she had a connection with Aleister. They both had great respect for knowledge; she admired his strong sense of self; and, sometimes, when he was lost in thought and started glaring at random items in the hotel for some reason, Grace wanted to reach out and ask him what was wrong.

“Not that I… ever really have. But I want to.”



Grace blinked. Without planning to, she had said those words out loud - while she had been in the middle of thinking about Aleister.

How… interesting.

On one hand, she could follow the tried-and-true sitcom route and deny her newfound feelings for weeks and months and years, resulting in misunderstandings and painful experiences that could have easily been avoided.

But on the other hand, she could handle this like a mature adult, by acknowledging her feelings and brainstorming how she could explore them in a way she was comfortable with.

Well. As a reasonable human being, Grace certainly knew what her choice was going to be.



(End of Chapter Five.) (Word count: 999 words.)

Chapter Five notes: (B01-C08.) I wrote Grace’s chapter this way because I think this is the way her character is and the way she would fall in love. Also, little things Jake does, even if they’re not on purpose, have an effect on other characters. If Jake hadn’t looked horrified, then Grace wouldn’t have given him a second thought. He’s building up a club of mini-stalkers… Diego thinks he’s a quest of some sort, Grace intends to observe him more closely, and Sean noticed a slip-up he made as well XD

Author’s note: By the way, receiving 🦄🦄 comments 🦄🦄 on my fanfiction lets me know that YOU are interested in reading more… 😊😎 Nudge nudge, wink wink 😀😋

(Waiting for H.W.U. to come back, forever and always; 26/04/17.)

Scott, 24 (Los Angeles, CA)

“I actually haven’t voted before. Can you believe that? I know, I am embarrassed. You are like cringing right now…But here’s the deal! The first time I was allowed to vote was the last election. It’s when I was first old enough to vote, and…I didn’t. I was moving to LA, and I did not care about it, and I did not think about it”

“This year, I did register to vote though. And I am so ready to do it! Because I’ll be honest, when I was 19, 20… I didn’t care. I feel like a lot of people are in that boat. But I’ve been following this election more, and I’ve been really freaked out by the things going on, and so I feel like even though I am only one vote, that matters. I need to take control. I am hoping more people do too.”

“I used to think that one vote doesn’t matter, but that’s a very young way of thinking. Every vote does matter, and it’s about taking the time and actually doing it. If you vote, and you get excited about voting with the people around you, it becomes infectious. We can band together and make a difference – especially as Millennials. We have power when we band together.”

“If I were talking on Superfruit saying, “who has the time to vote?”, and our fans thought that they don’t need to vote either, we’d be banding together in a negative way. Every time you don’t vote, it’s a vote for the other side, really.” 

Keep reading

I Don't Need Anyone to Save Me

Summary: Pastel!Dan is bullied and punk!Phil comes to help. But maybe Dan doesn’t need help after all? 
Genre: Pastel!Dan, Punk!Phil and some fluff
Word count: 1389
Beta: theinvisiblephan (Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! :) )
Disclaimer: I do not own Dan or Phil and I’m not saying that Phan is real. This piece of phanfiction is also a piece of fiction (stop the press!) and I’m not saying that any of this actually happened.
Warnings: Bullying, insults, badly written comebacks? :D
A/N: A while ago llster started a trend where a lot of people were drawing Pastel!Dan and I just loved all those drawings! I felt like there wasn’t enough fics (at least I couldn’t find) of Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil so I decided to try to write one. :)


“Oi! Look it’s our school’s very own marshmallow prince!" 

Keep reading

What Goes Around

Ashton Irwin Imagine

Words: 1,751

Rating: fluffy sort of??

Warning: cheating!5sos sort of i guess

It’s been a year since you last saw Ashton in person.

It was hard to miss him considering his face was plastered all over televisions, billboards, and tabloids.

Your pain was everlasting due to this, no chance of forgetting him.

The breakup wasn’t some cliché, “I can’t do long distance.” Rather, it was that you had caught him cheating. 

Keep reading

letters from wherever.

another tour means another round of letters & on this tour there have been quite a few. it’s a lot of reading for me, but probably the coolest part about what i get to do because people write me some really, really cool shit.

first of all, the letters are all very, very nice. they’re actually so nice that it’s almost a dangerous exercise in ego. fortunately, there’s just enough ‘you dress like a moron; mustard is for hot dogs’ to keep me grounded.

second, & more important, people are super interesting, & they express it in the coolest ways. i get to read poetry, & short stories, & true stories, & insecurities, & social observations, & ideas. i get asked questions that make me think about myself. i get asked questions that make me re-evaluate our music.
i got to read someone’s 10-step process for handling her most anxious moments. i got a collection of letters to be read over the next year.

i read every letter i’m given. if your question is, ‘did you read my letter?,’ the answer is ‘hell yes & thank you so much, & on behalf of all that is good & holy, never stop writing.’

this blog provides a nice opportunity to respond to the ones with topics that i feel like writing about. sometimes they’re conversations that i think are worth having with more than just one person. sometimes they’re just a sly opportunity for me to throw in some self-deprecating humor

but when i write these responses, i’m writing to all of you. thanks for writing back.

dear j.f.p. —

thank you so much for listening.
that music video is in the sanctuary of the church where my dad is a pastor. & he let me jump around on the pews like a goddamn monkey. you wanna talk about some weird acceptance? he had to accept the fact that his son is part-gerbil.

i’m so sorry you felt isolated by your church community, & so glad that you’re starting to find some of that welcoming. even more glad that we could be the soundtrack to that.

religion & morality are confusing, right? for the most part, the message of christianity (& most every spirituality) is a message of radical love & acceptance. & the bible is full of exactly that kind of wisdom. ‘love your enemies,’ ‘the kingdom of heaven is within’ - i think jesus christ is the 2nd most tumblr-quotable figure in literary history (behind john green).
but some religious organizations have gone on to prescribe much more specific ideas about what is moral / good / okay / heaven-worthy, & what is not. & those ideas sometimes conflict, between different subsets of the faith & within the text.
(how are you supposed to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ while you’re putting him to death for failing to observe the sabbath?)

a friend (who’s actually of the baha’i faith - wildly interesting shit, look it up here: bahai.org/beliefs) recently told me he viewed the rules of his religion not as punishment from a stern enforcer, but rather as ‘lights of loving guidance.’ not definitions of what morality is or isn’t, but rather suggestions that force you to choose what it is to you, & what it’s not.

the way that i understand that idea is this: if your motivation to do good things & help people (& to not do bad things & not hurt people) is fear of punishment, then what you’re doing is not morality, it’s conformity.
part of being a good person is the agency you have to choose what being a good person is.
if there are elements of a worldview (from christianity to the democratic party) that you disagree with, then challenging them & reaching for a greater understanding of them just brings you closer to your personal truth.

i guess the simpler point is this:
doubt doesn’t prevent truth, it creates it.
you get to decide what matters to you.
loving yourself, everything about yourself, doesn’t bring you further from god (or whatever you call it), it brings you closer.

glad we got to sing together. see you next time,

sam

dear k.n. —

your english teacher doesn’t understand or appreciate our need for visual flow. he can enjoy his capital letters while you & i are over here looking cool as hell in lowercase.

this tour has been great. i’m a dead tired, but i get a little rebirth every night, so it’s a good cycle.

tell sam the bunny that i say hi & that i love him (her?). he (she?) won’t react, because he (she) is a bunny, but on some deeper level, he’ll (she’ll?) understand.

sam

dear n.s. —

your handwriting is insane. literally, insane. how do you write so much without screwing up? there aren’t even hesitation marks! 

yes, yes, yes - let’s talk about how everyone asks everyone, ‘how are you?’ & everyone responds ‘fine’ in every conversation ever.

i don’t think, at face value, that it’s a very big deal. probably good that we have a common starting point. but i think it represents a greater problem: we hide behind social convention. & we don’t really talk to each other that often.

i’ve been doing a little personal social experiment (whenever i remember that i’m doing it): within the first twenty seconds of meeting a stranger, i try to ask them a personal question that demands a thoughtful response. social convention says, ‘don’t ask this person you just met about their last romantic relationship,’ & to that, i say, ‘let’s talk this shit out.’

the approximate* (*very approximate) results are this:
5 people didn’t really respond.
0 people were offended.
15 people answered, & usually they laughed first.
8 people asked questions about me in return.
5 people became friends.
95% of the time i felt better about myself.
11% of the time i felt uncomfortable.

am i saying that you should ask everyone personal questions all the time? probs not.
am i saying that thoughtful conversation is better than thoughtless conversation? probs yes.
we’re all human beings, we’re all basically the same. we should start talking to each other like we know each other. we should get to caring about each other quicker.

so yes, the next time someone asks me ‘how are you?,’ i’m going to answer it for reals. with how i am. 
thank you.

also, thank you so much for building me that home in your heart; you’ve got a condo in mine as well.

sam

more later.

Late night park date

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: You x Seokjin

Synopsis: To clear your head every night, you would go to the park and stare at the stars -or lack of- in the sky. One night, you weren’t alone. You were mesmerized by him. And it turns out, he was by you too.

Word Count: 1866


The park was enveloped in silence at this time of night. That was why you always came here. Dark nights, bright stars and nothing to disturb you. But tonight, you weren’t alone.

Over the other side of the park, was a lone body, sat on a bench with a mask covering their face. They were only just close enough for you to make out the silhouette of their body, they were slim, they obviously worked out, broad shoulders and the body shape of a man, probably in their twenties. However, you couldn’t tell what he was doing.

You on the other hand, were trying to pry your eyes away from him and swung silently. When your eyes left his frame, you looked up to the starry sky and admired what was there. Not many stars could be seen, and the ones you could see, were just white dots blended in with the dull grey sky. In your head, you cursed the species that took away the stars from the naked eye. Humans. Although, you were one of those dammed humans who polluted the sky to take away the precious stars.

“Beautiful hu?” The smooth voice startled you and you turned to see it was the man who caught your attention.

“Quite the opposite actually.” You muttered, making his eyes widen.

“Oh…” He trailed off and started to swing on the swing next to you.

“They would be beautiful. But light pollution covers up the beauty that would be there.” You ranted intellectually.

“I guess.” He started, then turned to you completely. “But look at how hard they’re trying to shine through it all. They’re still shining through. They’re so strong, give them some credit.” A serious e expression took over his face as he leaned towards you seriously.

“I’m Y/N.” You laughed, extending a hand towards him to shake. Earning a smile and a firm handshake as a reward.

“Seokjin.” He laughed, before leaning back in the swing and pushing off lightly into a sway. You did the same, staring up at the stars and thinking about what he had said. “So, what’re you doing here so late at night?” He asked, not looking at you, but looking at the stars.

“Just came here to think. I do it a lot.”

“Really? I never usually see you.” His eyebrows raised but he still didn’t look at you.

“You come here often?” You asked.

“Yeah, usually earlier than this though.” He smiled, “That’s probably why I don’t see you.”

“Probably.”

Falling into silence again, you swung in unison with Seokjin. It was a comfortable silence, and the perfect night to go with it. Warm air nipped at your skin as a light wind brushed through your hair. The grass swayed in the breeze and the whole park was silent apart from the occasional squeak of one of your swings.

“What do you come to think about?” The silence was broken by his sweet, comforting voice.

“Just stuff. Reflect on my day. Take a time out from everything, technology, stress, and just sit here, swinging, thinking.” You told him earning a satisfied nod.

“Me too…” He sighed before standing up and stopping in front of you. “Well… I’m going to get a drink. Care to join me?” He asked boldly. You laughed and looked up at his serious expression.

Shrugging, deciding there were worse things to do, you said, “Sure why not.” And stood up, following him out of the park.

Going to a coffee shop with a stranger wasn’t usually a good idea, let alone at this time of night. But something about the boy told you that it was okay to trust him. There was a look in his eyes that showed authenticity. So, you trusted him.

You arrived at a secluded coffee shop not far away from the park and he took you over to a table in the corner. Not that it mattered, it was completely empty.

“What do you want?” He asked, pulling out a chair for you.

“Urm… anything.” You sat down in the seat he pulled out and thanked him with a nod of your head.

“Okay.” Walking off to order your drinks, he flashed you a smile.

You could hear every word of the conversation he had with the worker as he made your drinks. He sounded like a regular. The man behind the counter sounded not shocked to see him, but shocked that he wasn’t alone. Their conversation was normal and not awkward at all. Maybe they were friends? That seemed likely.

Drinks in hand, he said goodbye to the man and came back over to you, placing the drink on the table in front of you and taking a seat opposite you. Then, you repeated the question you asked earlier.

“You come here often?” He smirked at your question as the man called to ask Seokjin to close up for him and left the keys on the counter.

“Every night after I’ve been to the park.” He nodded and sipped his drink. Somehow, he made even drinking a drink look cool and sexy. Silently admiring his perfect face, you sipped your own drink. Your stare made him smirk to himself and look out the window. You could tell that he knew of his good looks just by looking at the way he embraced them.

“So, Y/N.” He turned to face you and leaned his elbows on the table, “Tell me about yourself.”

You did exactly as he said, you told him about your boring job, your love for nature and all things beautiful, and you even went on a rant about how humanity were ruining all things beautiful. He started at your face the whole time and didn’t interrupt once. You knew he was listening to every word you were saying, which you appreciated. Most people usually tuned out.

When you finished your rant, he stared at you for a little longer before leaning back against the wood lined walls behind him. “I agree with you on some things. But on the other hand, look at the beauty of technology. Look at what we can do with what the Earth gives us! We can turn sound waves into music, metal into wires. We can do whatever we want with whatever we have! We are a truly magnificent species Y/N, don’t underestimate us.”

His reply caught you completely off guard. Not only did he listen to what you said. He took it all in. He didn’t just nod in agreement and change the subject. He argued. He took what you said, thought about it, and came up with a reply of his own.

Dumbfounded, you started at him with your mouth open. Who was this man with a gorgeous face, smart brain and who listened to you?!

Laughing at your expression, he added, “What?”

“Y-you listened to me.” You stuttered in amazement.

“Well of course I listened!” He stated mater-or-factly. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because no one does. They usually tune out and nod along.” You admitted.

“Well, I would never do that. Believe it or not, I love listening to you talk, even if you are offending me and my ‘species’” He said making you laugh.

You thanked him and continued to drink your coffee, while talking about random things, disagreeing on some which caused good debates and agreeing on others that caused loud conversations and smiley nods.

Eventually, you both finished your coffee and it got too late for you to stay out talking anymore. No matter how much you wanted to keep talking forever. You thanked him for the drink and he told you that the guy was his best friend anyway so he got it for free. His openness made you laugh as you pulled on your jacket.

“Let me walk you home.” He suggested as he pulled on his own jacket.

“Okay.” Was all you said as you waited for him.

The walk to your house was more comfortable than you imagined. You talked like you did in the coffee shop and laughed most of the way back. The smiles that he flashed you with and without knowing were truly magnificent. The ones that he tried to hide were your favourite. When you said something and he smiled at the ground admiring the way you talked and the sound of your voice.

The pathway to your house came far too early and you were more than thankful when he walked you right up to your door.

“This is me.” You laughed sadly and pointed to the door behind you. Seokjin forced a sad smile onto his face and dropped his wide shoulders.

“It has been very nice talking to you Y/N.”

“To you too.” You nodded and took your key out of your pocket and twiddling it in between your fingers.

“Do you… urm… can I have your number?” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “If you have a phone that is.” He laughed and you pulled out your small, simple phone from your back pocket before handing it to him.

He typed away at the buttons before handing it back to you.

“Call me.” He smirked as he started to walk down the pathway away from your house.

“Wait!” You shouted, jumping down the steps that lead towards your door and landing just in front of him as he spun round. Your hands immediately flew to his t shirt as you pulled him down to your level and pressed your lips against his. Your actions shocked him at first, but after a few seconds of recovery, he relaxed and placed his hands on your hips, pulling you closer towards him. His lips moved in sync with yours and eventually so did his tongue. Your fists left his t shirt and wrapped around the back of his neck. Soon, your bodies felt like they were one and you had both completely melted into the kiss. The fingers at your hips started to dig in so hard you were sure there were going to be bruises, but yours at his neck made up for it because they were doing the same to the space between his hair and t shirt.

Eventually, the air that you were sharing was no longer enough and you were forced to break away. Although, you didn’t go far. His hair covered forehead rested against yours as you stared into each other’s eyes, catching your breath.

Cough cough.

Spinning around, you saw your best friend/house mate leaning against the doorframe, tutting at you. Red flushed your cheeks and Seokjin’s embarrassed laugh could be heard behind you.

“I-urm… It’s.” You stuttered, frantically pointing between you and Seokjin.

“Get in.” Your best friend nodded towards your house, smirking. You nodded and picked up a jog towards her.

“I’ll call you!” You called, turning around slightly to see him still stood their speechless. He nodded and turned away to leave.

“It was nice meeting you!” Your best friend shouted down the road causing you to burst out into laughter as she slammed the door shut and smirked at you knowingly.

“Shut up.” You giggled. Then both of you burst into fits of laughter.

The Signs

//Those are just some unpopular opinions of mine. ♣

Aries: Can it be that even though you’re emotionally expressive, you don’t like to show how sad you are? When someone hurts you, you remain silent for a while and try to move on. You don’t want others to see your true feelings. Sometimes you even fake a laugh, and just seeing you do that hurts.

Taurus: Do you try to forgive and forget, but can’t? Do you hold grudges because you are still angry or because you find it hard to believe that they would hurt you like this? Because you never thought they would turn against you one day? Or are you too prideful? Maybe this is something you’ve asked yourself once.

Gemini: I feel like some of you want to be more in tune with your emotions. You know you have them, but sometimes you just can’t feel them. You can help your crying best friend but understanding their feelings (like, putting yourself in their shoes) is a bit hard for you. You’re very adaptable. I think you’re that kind of person that asks themselves: “Am I being myself? Am I being someone else?“

Cancer: Do you often feel insecure? Because of your insecurities you might be very protective of yourself. You don’t want anyone to see your weak side. Cancers don’t like crying in front of others, they just can’t hide their emotions anymore. When they are crying, they are probably secretly hoping that you’ll be there for them and cheer you up, even if they don’t say it.

Leo: I feel like you’re trusting your friends too much. You are honestly so shocked when you find out your friend has done something bad like, “I didn’t know you’d do things like this“. You know you’re a nice person and you expect others to be nice as well. can it be that sometimes, you do nice things to make you feel good about yourself? Like “I’ll help you, because I love being nice to others“ or “I’d never turn against you, because I’m way too loyal.“

Virgo: I’ve never seen a Virgo say “I’m the best.“ Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like you are always comparing yourself to others and when you see that they’re described better, you take it personally, to the point where you start to think that you’re not as good as some other Signs. If you think people don’t love your Sign, you do it and love the heck out of it.

Libra: You’re friendly, but sometimes you try too hard to be liked by others to the point where you manipulate them into thinking you’re someone you’re not. If they don’t like you for who you are, you don’t need them. As long as you know you’re a kind person, it doesn’t matter whether people like you or not.

Scorpio: I think you are having problems with showing your emotions. Maybe it’s embarrassing for you to show affection? On the inside you care a lot, but you don’t often show it - especially not verbally. When you do nice things you tend to do it in a way people misunderstand and they might get the wrong idea of you.

Sagittarius: Even if you were born optimistic, I don’t think you’re just being optimistic for yourself. You could also be optimistic for those around you. You don’t want people to think that a situation is really bad when it isn’t and you don’t want to lose your hope either.

Capricorn: Have you ever asked yourself “Why do I find it so hard to let my guard down“? Maybe it’s because you’re afraid, afraid of opening up just to get hurt later. believe me, not everyone is bad. I used to believe that myself, until my faith in humanity was restored. One day you’ll find a person you can fully trust and show your goofy, affectionate side to.

Aquarius: I might be wrong, but can it be that you dislike the word “Marriage“? Or “Commitment“? You seem like that kind of person that is proud of their independence and will distance themselves from people who want them to become more dependent. Also, do you sometimes try too hard to be different? Because you don’t want to be “just like the others“? You’re unique without trying, don’t forget that.

Pisces: You often sacrifice yourself for others, or put their needs before your own. You say you don’t want anything back, but can it be that you secretly want them to appreciate what you do for them? To know that you’d do so much for them? Can it be that you pity yourself so others can’t? When you’re sad, you are probably thinking about every bad thing that has happened to you and think “Why me?“

//If you disagree, please be respectful :) What do you think?

Three’s A Crowd

Summary: You’ve found yourself in a real live love triangle. It’s nothing like the movies, especially since Bucky’s tired of you and Steve being little shits when he’s around.

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, it’s an attempt at a crackfic so it’s probably terrible js

Word count: 1500

A/N: Guess who’s back? I think it’s about time I get on that list of requests I’ve been neglecting! One down, eleven to go ^^ (Also I’m so so sorry this took so long, I hope it was worth the wait)

Tagging: @pleasecallmecaptain @waitingfortherightpartner @lara1smith

Originally posted by beautifulbarnes

Let’s get one thing straight:

You never asked for this.

Sure in the movies they make it look so great, so harmless; but being in love was probably the most excruciating fight you’ve ever been in (and that’s saying something). To top it all off, the guy you were set on also happened to be The Bucky Barnes, and everyone knew that his number one fangirl was Captain America himself.

And who, in their right mind, would ever want to rival Steve fuckin’ Rogers in a messy battle like this? You, apparently.

If we’re taking this from the top, we might as well start from the beginning - the day your heart decided to beat for the brown haired assassin/teddy bear hybrid.

And because your whole life was a walking cliche, that would be the time he came to your door, absolutely drunk and somehow shirtless.

“Didn’t I tell you drinking with Thor was a bad idea?” You huffed, just barely holding Bucky up as you pulled him into your apartment.

“Gimme a break, haven’t been drunk in 1940 years.” You snorted and dropped him onto the couch.

“I think you’re a little mixed up there Buck. Nice try though.” You went to get him a glass of water, which was definitely your first mistake. On second thought, your first mistake was letting him in in the first place.

Really though, the beginning of your end was the smile he gave you - a sincere and purely heart-melting grin matched with the slightest head tilt and his fingers brushing over yours as you gave him the cool glass.

“Thanks doll, you’re so good to me.” Like your relationship was anything more than sorta-friends. Like you do more for him than bring him water and let him crash on your couch when he can barely stand.

And Jesus, when did he start making your heart beat so fast?

“You’re welcome?” He gulped down some of the water before putting it on the table and flashing you another smirk.

“So where’d your shirt go?” You asked after Bucky got comfortable, easing into the cushions and resting his arm behind your head. His nose scrunched up and he looked like he was concentrating entirely too hard on his answer.

“Sam flew off with it?” It was definitely more of a guess than an answer, but boy that would be a good story once someone sobered up enough to tell it. But there was no point in asking Bucky anything else that night, he was already nodding off.

“You’ll be fun in the morning.” You laughed, moving to get up with an “I’ll let you get to bed.”

Or you would’ve, if Bucky’s arms hadn’t wrapped around your stomach and hastily pulled you onto his lap.

“Don’t leave,” He was pouting like a child but his grip was so tight you couldn’t even imagine a way to wiggle out of it. You choked down your nerves and rolled your eyes - pretending like it was a nuisance to cuddle up with him for a whole night.

“Fine, but I hope you plan on getting more comfortable ‘cause this’d be bad for our necks.” As if you cared about your neck right then.

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded into the space between your shoulder and neck before twisting and laying you on the couch.

If he were any less drunk than he was, he might’ve realized how awkward a position this was for two friends to be in; with his head using your stomach as a pillow and your legs spread so that his waist could fit between them.

“G'night Y/N.” He muttered into your belly, warm breath making your heart flutter even more.

The only thing that could make your situation more awful was Steve, because you both knew how much the other adored Bucky, and you were both surprisingly easy to get jealous, so this whole love business with Bucky turned into a sort of competition to see who could get more affection out of the man.

As it turns out, that widely affects all of the things you and Steve had to do together. Important things like wiping out a Hydra base always ended in an argument and a barely saved life - more often than not it was your own. Even menial things like picking a movie ended with you two wrestling on the floor because there was only one seat beside Bucky and you both got there at the same time.

When Bucky needed medical attention you and Steve argued about who was more qualified to give it to him. Eventually it ended with you two spitting insults at the other while Bucky went to go find Bruce or Cho to fix him up without all the drama.

Any free nights were spent between the three of you, since Fury loved teaming you up with Steve and Bucky more than he loved the colour black. You two couldn’t agree on anything unless Bucky decided on it, and sometimes Bucky could’ve sworn Steve only disagreed with you to disagree with you. It drove him insane, everywhere he went there was bickering and shouting and eventually someone throwing a punch.

“So what, getting yourself killed is gonna get his attention?” Steve’s tone was searing as you dropped onto your seat in the quinjet, arm almost literally being held together by your hand squeezing it close to your side.

“Do you have to make everything about him? Sometimes I just wanna do my job Steve, unlike you!” You sneered right back, steely eyes just begging him to scold you some more.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice dropped to a much colder tone and he stepped closer.

“It’s supposed to mean that every time someone says 'Bucky’ you don’t care what you’re supposed to be doing! Do you know how many times I’ve have to run in after you and save all the people you neglect when someone brings him up?” You were seething, and if it didn’t hurt so damn much to peel your fingers off your wound, you would’ve socked him right in the jaw.

“Oh please, you’re the one that goes all slack-jawed when you see him carrying another woman out of a danger zone!”

“Yeah well at least I know he’s into girls - what proof do you have?”

“I don’t have to make up excuses for him to come see me!”

“I’m the one he comes to when he needs a place to stay!”

“I’ve known him for 90 years!”

“I’ve slept beside him!”

“I-”

“Would you two SHUT. UP.” Bucky pulled Steve backwards by his shield holder, creating more room between you two than you thought there was in the entire jet.

“No way, she’s being an ass!”

“Hell no, Steve’s a dick!” Bucky rubbed his forehead in agitation, sighing and looking between you two like a couple of misbehaving teens.

“You two need to grow up,” He started, but you and Steve had already gotten back to bickering, not even paying attention to Bucky at this point.

He was being run up the wall here, there was no stopping you two from screaming at each other. Bucky could only think of one thing to do, and he prayed to god that it would work the way he wanted it to.

Without even waiting for a lull in the 'conversation’ -he knew with absolute certainty there wouldn’t be one - he slid his palms against your cheeks and kissed you hard enough for you to see stars. Steve’s jaw was on the floor, and everything was dead silent.

Then Bucky twisted on his heels, clapped his hands on Steve’s shoulders, and kissed him too.

“There. Are you good now? Will you be quiet for once?” Bucky’s fingers were crossed and there was a prayer repeating in his head: Please stay quiet.

“He got a longer kiss than me.” You muttered, starting to feel a tinge of guilt for complaining when Bucky was so fed up with you.

“Your hands went in her hair.” Steve frowned and Bucky swore there was no pleasing you two.

“That’s it. I’m getting you two a get-along shirt and you’ll wear it until you can be in the same room together without giving everyone a headache!”

Steve locked eyes with you as Bucky walked to the cockpit, having the same expression of shock and disbelief on his face.

“No Buck, please!” He called out, sprinting after the soldier desperately.

You were stuck bandaging your arm and thinking about how awful your life would be as a movie.

cigarette smoke, chocolate and home.

fandom: girl meets world
ship: riley matthews x lucas friar
word count: 5,259
summary: “Lucas could feel his heart beating in his chest and he had to take a deep breath to get himself under control. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath. He was so fucked.” // or two broken delinquents fall in love. 
series: part 2 in the delinquents au 
notes: hellllllo friends!!! so not only is this the longest one shot i’ve ever written, but it’s a piece that i’m super super proud of. if anyone read my last one shot (we are the crazy kids) which is a delinquents au centered around rucas and zac/maya (an oc maya ship), then this is the one shot focused on how riley and lucas ended up getting together in that universe. however, you don’t really need to read that one shot to understand this one (however pls do if you wish #selfpromo). this fic is part of an ongoing series of one shots set in this au, so you’ll definitely be seeing more of this story from me, because i love it. i’m super proud of this and definitely would appreciate any feedback y’all want to give me!! 

this is also highkey dedicated to korry for being the best hc partner around. 

The first time he saw her, she was leaning against the cold brick of their high school, her foot pressed against the wall and her fingers holding a cigarette to her pursed lips. He hates those death sticks, but he has never been more jealous of an inanimate object as she brings it between her lips, and he’s mesmerized as she blows the smoke away, her lipstick covered lips smiling as she watches the smoke float, up, up, away into the blue sky above.

It didn’t take her long to feel his eyes on her and once the smoke had cleared, she swiveled her head to look at him, her mouth falling from a smiling. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about being caught staring, in fact he dared himself to meet her eyes, a smirk appearing on his face as they looked at each other.

Keep reading

#MoreLoveMoreHugs: B1A4, BANA and Fan Interaction

I am proud to call myself a BANA.

I rather like this community, small and “young” as it may be. I have never had to be embarrassed to say that I enjoy B1A4, or the fans I interact with through B1A4. 

And I would like to keep things that way. 

Many of you know where this post is coming from. BANA as a fandom has has been through some interesting ups and downs in the past week. I will not go into them here. If you’re in the right tags to be reading this, you know what I am talking about. 

Instead, I am here to talk about something very important: 

A Band Is Often Judged By Their Fandom

Please think about that for a moment.

I am sure you can all think of a band that has followers who get on your nerves. Either everything the band creates is perfect, or anyone who dislikes the band is stupid, or a combination of both. The band can do no wrong. These fans are defensive, hostile, illogical, immature and (oftentimes) just plain rude. They lash out at others with differing opinions - on twitter, or youtube, or tumblr, or wherever they’ve come to find a voice - in their desire to defend the thing they love. 

…..hmm.

In recent days, B1A4 seems to be under attack. Many BANA took the news in a responsible manner. However, many BANA have also reacted very, very immaturely, making inappropriate comments back at the accusers and - even worse - making harmful comments towards the band the accusers support. A band who, themselves, supports B1A4. 

While (as fans) we want to be protective and fly to the aid of our band, we need to do so in a positive and constructive manner. We need to not become those fans, the ones that everyone cringes over when hard times arise, or appear to arise. 

Sometimes, bands we like do things that we don’t like. Things that we can’t in good conscience condone or support.

Sometimes, those things will be overt and apparent (the positive light cast on cheating in the JPN release of the Baby Goodnight video, for example; or the recent questionable photoshoot for Allure). In these cases, we need to step back and say, “Look, guys, this isn’t cool.” We are the band’s support, we trust them, they trust us. If that relationship is genuine, they will listen. I might talk more about this at a future time. For right now the main point is this: 

Sometimes, the nebulous “things we don’t like” will only ever be seen as rumors. If something is a rumor, it will die down. The rumormongers will get bored, the truth will come out, and the boys will be proven innocent. 

If it’s not a rumor, we need to pick up and move on from there. 

Consider, after all, the source material: 

“It’s just fascinating, the fact that there are at least some people who like us”

- CNU.

“We’ll always remember that you are by our side. Please be with us from this day on. We sincerely thank you and we love you.”

-Baro

“They say that if you think good thoughts, only good things will happen~

Shall we try to think only good thoughts?

Since B1A4 and BANA become each other’s strength by just our existence
Let’s trust and depend on each other… Got it?”

-Jinyoung

We are here, because you are here for us. We will try harder.

- Gongchan

It’s unbelievable to be standing in front of you singing. It’s… It’s an incredible blessing, really. Words can’t express how I feel. Thank you so much. I hope you all stick by us. Be with us forever. I really love you guys.”

-Sandeul

If you haven’t yet, watch this video. At 3:23, Jinyoung shows a roll of paper that BANAs have signed for the band. “I have something to be proud of.” “If this isn’t sincerity, I can’t do anything." Look at the emotion in his face, look at how he’s talking about that piece of paper. 

That’s the first show they won with Lonely. 

I believe BANA gave them that win. 

They believe BANA gave them that win. 

And I believe the band would have been perfectly fine - emotionally - if they hadn’t won, because they knew they were already the winners in BANA’s heart. 

What does this mean?

Some have expounded and theorized on B1A4 and WM’s business practices. How a label with a couple of actors picked five goofy country boys and trusted them to succeed on just their hopes and talents alone.

How Jinyoung has - and has always had - an inordinate amount of creative freedom compared to a lot of other idol artists. How Baro and CNU get to help in the composing. How CNU got to try acting less than a year after debuting, is going to school for acting. How Sandeul has musicals and Immortal Song and is starting college, and Baro has his blooming drama career as well. I fully believe that Gongchan has tricks up his sleeve, and once he and WM feel ready to show us, we’ll be blown out of the water as well. 

WM Entertainment and the band as a whole seems to attempting to create something new:

  1. WM trusts the members. they let them pursue their individual activities, they trust them to write a large number of the songs (8/12 is 75%; Jinyoung composed 75% of an entire, full length album and the band hasn’t even reached the three-years point!), and so on.
  2. the members take that trust and turn it into motivation: to sing better, dance better, to show the fans the "colors” of B1A4’s hearts.
  3. In turn, the fans give them the fame and accolades the company needs to be successful, and the love that the band so desperately wants for their efforts.
  4. The trust pays off, and WM gives the band more creative freedom, starting the cycle back at one.

 It’s a different model than others we see in the music industry, and given the increase in sales and fans alike, 

it seems to be working.

So What Can I Do?

Given that the band we love and want to defend so much operates around positivity and trust, we as a fandom need to approach conflicts with other fandoms in a manner fitting with the business practices of that band. 

In the future, when you see others accusing B1A4 of anything (be it something realistic and worrisome like Allure, something nebulous and accusatory like a buyback, or something downright absurd like artistic plagiarism within the same design company): 

Take a step back

Count to ten

Ask: how can i handle this in a kind, caring way?

In the future, approach these things with

  1. Patience. Just because it’s happening doesn’t mean you have to react right away. The immediacy of the internet often leads us to believe instant reaction is the best reaction. This is not the case. Give yourself time to think about your response. if you would not say it direct to the other person’s face - and be willing to get slapped for it or to see the other person’s tears - do not post it online
  2. Perspective. In the end, it’s music. It’s a pop band. It is important to you (and us!) and that’s okay - but it is not a matter of life or death that you (we!) be the winners. It is important that we are right, and honest, and kind
  3. Humor. I don’t mean at the others, I mean at yourself. At ourselves. I mean, in connection to #2….we are kinda silly sometimes!
  4. Kindness. Sometimes, people get angry because their favorites aren’t doing well. Sometimes they get angry because of things going on in their lives that you will never know and they have no control over. Be understanding, but don’t ever assume someone is only mad because they don’t like your favorites. 
  5. Productivity. Instead of getting angry on your social media of choice, do something. Talk to your fellow bana, find constructive and nuetral ways to work towards dispelling rumors (like rabbit_0625 on Twitter and their drive to collect I-BANA proof shots) spread music to people who might not have heard it. create art, write fic. Work on building the BANA community, essentially protecting “us,” without attacking “them.”

In closing

At the end of the day, I believe, it does not matter to B1A4 whether they win or lose. Not at this point in the game. B1A4 are focused on B1A4 and BANA. They want us to be safe, us to like them, us to be good. Us to depend on each other

Never has any member of the band, anywhere (in a Fancafe post, tweet, instagram or interview) ever said “I am sad because BANA didn’t defend us to XYZ,” or “I am sad because our fans didn’t help us win this award.”

They’re sad when they think that we are disappointed in them. How must they feel when they find out their fans have been saying awful, hateful things towards other fandoms? Not even fandoms, but towards other bands’ members, members they themselves respect?

BANA, we need to work together to be different. We need to work together to spread the idea that fandoms can agree to disagree, can be suspicious of one another, maybe even rivals- but that that rivalry should, ultimately, be a friendly one.

A rivalry that, at the end of the day, can be set aside if need be to defend the truth.

#MoreLoveMoreHugs, and 100% less hate.

Because, after all.

Haters need love too. 

Thanks to MJ, Shinwooed and Radio-Palava for proofreading and concrit, for providing their ideas, and for putting up with my fevered rambling throughout the drafting process. 

Happy Birthday Baekhyun

Today is your special day I sincerely wish you a happy birthday. Although you would most likely won’t read this, but I want to express my thoughts about you on this special day. 

It’s been 3 years since I become your fan, I can remember the day when I first saw you on History MV, I remember how I become a fan and how everything all started. I remembered everything, I remember how I keep looking at you admiring you whenever and whatever you do. My eyes was all on you since the day I become your fan until now. I would go speechless when I saw your beautiful smile. I couldn’t properly look at other when you are around, I couldn’t express myself properly whenever I want to talk about you. I would occasionally leave you simple yet stupid comment on your Instagram everyday because I always feel that you will probably see one or two of my comment while you looking through your comment and that to me is really all I wanted, I don’t need any of your respond all I really wanted is for you to see and be reminded that you are always loved and there will always be someone on your side watching over you and trying to make you smile. 

Through the year I saw many sides of you, your cheerful side, your happy side, your silly side, your sincerely side etc. I can sincerely feel your love for us and how you always want to better yourself to show a better you to us. I can see how you keep trying hard and try to cheer us on. You will ensure us that everything is fine, and you are doing good making sure that we won’t worry about anything. You may not say allot or do much speech when EXO win awards, but I can see you at the side doing this “L” sign all the time, and that is really enough, your gesture is already enough to show how much you are thankful without saying anything.

You will always praise your member that they are sexy, handsome and that you admire them while you always say how other member are better than you, that you are not good enough and want to try harder to better yourself. Personally I think you are the most beautiful, even when some people view other member more beautiful and more handsome than you or even when you see yourself not as good as the other member, to me you are the most handsome and most beautiful. Sometimes I get asked “Who is the most handsome in EXO” and my answer is always you because that’s what I really think, but to some others they think I pick you because you are my favourite member, but in fact it really is what I think, you were really the first member that caught my eyes and I always thought you were more handsome than any other ever since the beginning. Sometimes I will get people disagreeing with me or say that I was wrong, but somewhere inside me is telling me that it’s you.

I really love you, I love your voice, your hair, your eyes, your lips your everything. I love to see you talk none stop, I love to see you doing all the dumb thing and I love how you always care for your member. It is a shame that there are people took your joke in a negative way and misunderstood you and look at you as a shameful person, viewing you as someone worthless someone who don’t deserve anything good. Really, these negative comment never fails to make me angry and I don’t even understand why I get so worked up and so mad at something that I should have ignored. Sometimes when I read the comments that are wrongly accused about you I would hold everything in trying to ignore it while in my mind it’s telling myself that they are not true. It really makes me sad to see there are people who never see the good side in you. I really hope in the future many people will realise that and able to see why you have many fans and why you are precious to many people. 

Whenever I see your fans do so many supporting event and project for you, I would be here admiring their dedication, time and effort they put in you. Because of the distance and that I live so far away it was really difficult to do anything meaningful for you. But I still really want to do something little for you so I would occasionally ask people to send you more love and leave many nice comment for you so we can put a smile on your face. I also tried many things that I thought I could do for you but every time it didn’t work out, everything I planned for you always become wasted and I was never able to do what I want to do for you and this really make me sad and ashamed of myself as your fan. 

I remember there was one time I get many people telling me that I was wrong to support you, and I shouldn’t have chose you as my favourite member I was really annoyed when people tell me that, so then I decided to dedicate all my sns account like facebook, twitter and my blogs for you, because I want other people to see that I am not going to change my mind and that I don’t feel ashamed to be your fan. I want people to see how proud I am that you are the person I am supporting that’s why everything I say is mostly about you I want to make everything obvious so that whenever someone come across my blog they will see that you are the member I like the most. I don’t mind people think negatively about me for who I’m supporting because my heart is telling me that I’m not wrong to support someone that I love. 

I am really sorry for talking so much, I hope that you will spend your day with your loved ones. Happy Birthday. :) 

rant on hazuki family

DISCLAIMER: these are my OPINIONS. and they’re not even professional opinions. but also no fandom opinion on tumblr is a professional one because guess what! you cant be an expert on an anime! we’re all on equal ground here

i see a lot. like a LOT of common headcanons surrounding nagisa and his relationship with his family and his home life in general. i’m not trying to be like ‘hey you’re wrong!’. headcanon what you want bro im not here to dissuade you or anything!! that’s the great thing about headcanons–it can be whatever you want.

i just have a different view of his family. and i wanna talk about a few things that really bug me about the common ideas surrounding the hazuki household

(i posted this to twitter too but cleaned it up before posting here)

((and by ‘cleaned it up’ i mean added a bunch of stuff so that the end product is like, crazy long oh my god sorry in advance))

ok so here we go 

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