because i have to clean out my photographs


Daffodils and Grass blades

They said that Draco had some kind of complex, because when he fell in love with a quiet, biddable pureblood younger daughter he was essentially marrying his mother.

But when Narcissa Malfoy looked at her daughter in law, she felt not an ounce of kingship, not love, not even passing acceptance of her. Because when Narcissa looked at Astoria, she didn’t see herself: she saw her sister Andromeda.

Andromeda, who had been the one to teach Narcissa how to keep secrets. Who had played the part of perfect sister, daughter and cousin so well that when she decided to show her true colors it teared the Black family into two perfect halves.

Narcissa saw much of her sister in Draco’s wife. Astoria’s act of rebellion against her family hadn’t been to marry a muggleborn. In the eyes of society Astoria had done worse, much worse: She’d married the only marked Death Eater to escape trial.

Sweet, neutral Astoria, who would hug Draco and send a vindictive smile to his mother when he wasn’t looking.

This was her son and that good for nothing girl had essentially waltzed in and made him her slave. Narcissa didn’t like the chit. How could she, when every innocent laugh Astoria shared with Draco felt like a knife in her heart.

“Look at me, Draco doesn’t care what you think anymore” the girl’s actions seemed to say to Narcissa “I took him away from you, he’s mine now, he was never yours to keep” the delicate hand in Draco’s arm taunted.

Narcissa didn’t like her because she’d lived under the shadows of the likes of her during her childhood.

“Of course Lady Malfoy, I’ll wear what you want me to this evening” the girl agreed peacefully lifting the teacup to her lips “but if I don’t please know that it won’t be my fault, these days my house elves have a habit of damaging my clothes when they clean my bedroom”

Always conciliatory, never a word of confrontation in her lips, but if she happened to drag Draco out to meet and be publicly photographed with the dirty orphans of her charity, then that would just be called a happy accident. In fact the world would only celebrate her for it.

If Astoria made up her mind to rebuild Draco’s reputation as some kind of mudblood sympathizer using every mean she had, well, her son would follow her lead, simply because the doe eyed little harpy had him firmly under her spell. Just because she was a pretty face and happened to know a thing or two about cleaning up after Draco’s blunders then suddenly she was “the one” .

And Narcissa was reminded of her sister. Every single day.

In most of Astoria’s actions, the ghost of young Andromeda would be there waving mocking at Narcissa.

The girl Andromeda was, and most of all the woman she’d almost had been if she’d ever set her mind on marrying Lucius.

Sweet, diplomatic second daughter, born with a gift for keeping her rebellious opinions to herself, always able to convince even the worst of people that she held them in great esteem. If Andromeda had been allowed to thrive in a world without Voldemort….This could have been her.

Half of the pureblood mothers in society would have killed for a daughter in law as biddable as Astoria, who in a very Slytherin way turned bad publicity into good publicity everywhere she went. But Narcissa knew better than to trust the little garden snake her son had married. As much as Draco wanted them to get along the best Narcissa could muster for the chit was a brief regard. But never approval.

How could her son ask her to love let alone approve of the girl who was willfully ripping him away from her arms?. That monster who encouraged him to ‘find himself’ by putting space between him and his parents.

And Narcissa could have loved her. There were days when Draco and Lucius bickered like children that Astoria would turn to her and Narcissa would share a conspiratorial smile. When the girl played Darkfellow Sonata N°7 in the piano because she knew it was her mother in law’s favorite.

There were days Narcissa stood next to Lucius and felt almost thankful that Astoria could withstand the pressure of being a Malfoy. Days when she laughed at the girl’s passive aggressive remarks and patted her arm indulgently as she complained about the gossip circus they all had to endure.

But even on those days, Narcissa still saw her sister in the girl. It was a bit sad, because Andromeda had been Narcissa’s favorite sister. And when Astoria made a remark about a certain Councilwomen needing a reform not only in the law but in her wardrobes, Narcissa could remember a time when she’d also laughed about similar comments with another girl, decades ago. When Andromeda would snort under her breath at aunt Walburga’s antics.

Bella had followed Voldemort, Narcissa followed her duty but only Andromeda followed her heart.

Astoria’s little rebellion hadn’t cost her an inheritance, but she’d still gone against her whole family for Draco. She’d still been prepared to give up a life shrouded with comfort in order to marry a man her parents and all society thought unsuitable.

And maybe that’s what made it hurt the most. That of all the girls in the world, Draco had not chosen the one with the temperament that was closer to his mother.

Unknowingly he’d chosen the one closest to his disowned aunt.

In another life, maybe, Narcissa could have learn to feel something beyond bare tolerance for little Astoria Greengrass. But it was very hard to live with one’s mistakes when you see how much happier your own son is away from you.

And that’s what hurt the most, Draco loved his mother, Narcissa was well aware of how much her son adored her. But she didn’t make him happy. She’d made and let Lucius make choices during Draco’s childhood that guaranteed his future unhappiness despite the fact that they both loved him.

But Astoria, she made him happy. She put light in his eyes and even her frail countenance wasn’t enough to drive him away.

So maybe Narcissa refused to approve of Astoria because it hurt. Approving of the girl would be acknowledging a lifetime of regrets, it would be saying that she’d been wrong, that Andromeda had been right to chose love instead of duty, that Draco was no longer her baby and that she had to accept Astoria as the new leading lady of his life.

And it was painful.

So Narcissa Malfoy held on to her pride and continued to disapprove of her daughter in law, it was better this way.

An: so there you have it folks, this piece was very interesting to write, because I pictured Narcissa Malfoy as a very deep character. It was surprising to delve into how she sees Drastoria, from a mother in law’s POV. Hope I did her justice.

anonymous asked:

Hey brother i want to ask you like parents have right over us so what does we children have over them. The thing is im tired of my mom shouting at me all the damn time only because i didnt clean the room properly like i have done 9/10 things and forget one. I am tired and its just when i complain she goes all "one day you know what it feels like to be a mom" and at that moment i just want to die because i dont want that curse to follow me and when she starts shoutig it can go for 2 hours (1/2)

(2/2) Btw i am 24 years old I cook and help her in all the tasks. Now i am just dead tired and i just cant listen to her taunts and reply back i know its not right or a good thing to do. I am crying right now and shes shouting in the kitchen. I am a photographer so sometimes i am out of the house and still she say i dont do anyhinf for the home I earn because my dad is jobless i am just so tired :(


Wait a minute.. you’re 24 and you want to ‘kill yourself’ because your mother tells you to clean your room? Do you even realise how easy you have it? If these things are a challenge for you, you need to take a look at yourself and learn to grow up. Im sorry if I sound harsh, but your problems are nothing compared to what other people face around the world. Take a good look at yourself and think  about why your mother tells you to so these things.


10 Day Study Challenge!

day one: clean up and photograph your study space to share with us

Desk tour anyone? This is what this turned into. And I’m actually really glad for this day of the challenge (, because my desk was in need of a clean up. So yeah, let me take you through my workspace. 

  1. This is the general overview. On the left we have the door that leads out from my room, and on the right we have my window. Pretty neat space, I think.
  2. This is the ‘overhead storage’. I would really have liked the opportunity to hide away some of these things, but I don’t have any drawers in my desk, so this is where stuff ended up. In the shelf on the left I have a perfume, a decorative bottle, a little pouch with headphones, my glasses and a body butter from The Body Shop. I usually put my wallet in this as well. In the middle shelf I have school supplies, like pens, highlighters, post-its etc. In the shelf on the right I have some books, like my beloved The Complete Sherlock Holmes, some candy and some Irish Cram. Both the shelves and the canvas painting thingies are from IKEA. 
  3. This is my calendar corkboard. It literally holds three different calendars. The December one is my monthly calendar for this month, which helps me see what school and social stuff that I’ve got coming up. Underneath that I have my Don’t break the chain calendar, since I only have one month left of it. On the left we have my countdown to the summer holiday. When a month is finished I move the Union Jack to cover it, signalling that there is one less month left to go. 
  4. This is my other cork board, where I currently have my International Economics  notes hung up, as they are so huge that I don’t know where to put them. Behind them I have some postcards and birthday cards. 
  5. This is my Deal With This folder/inbox thing. Whenever I get papers that I need to deal with, but don’t have time to deal with right then I put them in this. I try to clear it out as soon as I have time, but *cough* sometimes it doesn’t happen that quickly.

So that is my desk, where I spend most of my time studying. I have a habit of studying in the kitchen as well, but this is a more private space, so yeah.

“I have many luxuries of fame, but I make my own bed. I like to buy my groceries. I drive my car. I like to do the normal, everyday things that I’ve always enjoyed. It doesn’t mean that when I drive out of my garage, I don’t fear that I’m being followed by somebody, because I probably am. But there’s always going to be an adjustment. At some point, you have to take your life back and say, ‘You know what? If I feel like picking up my dry cleaning and if someone’s going to photograph me doing it, so what?’ Part of being with your kids is making them feel as safe and normal as you can.”

Well I don’t know about you guys, but I had quite the excellent weekend. It was the first weekend in a long time that all my plans stayed perfectly on track. Hip hip hooray!

I saw a huge number of friends this weekend… ate gelato ice-cream with Angela on Friday night, headed to Origin for brunch on Saturday with friends, celebrated Erin’s 30th in style (see my style above) on Saturday, and hung out with family (and horses and dogs) on Sunday.  Phew! What a weekend. And somehow I even managed to get a few hours in the office in, and go for a long run/walk where I listened to my favourite songs on loud. Really, it was non-stop busy busy busy.

This coming week is also bananas. Therapy on Monday (oh, how twenty first century of me to say!), a date on Tuesday(!), dinner with a friend Wednesday, Project Sunshine’s social event on Thursday,  and Halloween on Friday (where at work my team is dressing up as Men in Black, and then at night I’ll be Glinda The Good Witch).

THEN, on Saturday morning I fly to New York City (wa-freaking-hooooo!), for a *very* short trip to cheer on some amazing marathon runners (are you running?!? let me know!), celebrate a 30th, photograph my heart out (because obviously, it’s NYC), and get my shopping on, all before flying back to Toronto Tuesday morning before work. Gahhhh. This agenda makes me feel tired, but whatever, I’m up for it. 

Also, I just realized at some point I have to go vote tomorrow (remember Toronto’s whole mayor scandal? Well tomorrow we vote for a new one!), give blood, and somehow get a run (or two) in, plus I really need to do a big, scrub, swiffer clean of my apartment. Oh, life, you so crazy.

Oh! And, I’ve already started Christmas browsing for my apartment! I’m not sure I’ll be in this apartment for 2015’s Christmas, so I am determined to take mad advantage of my glorious fireplace, and perfect spot for a Christmas tree.  Oh! And remember how a few weeks ago I got a big raise? Well I am going to buy myself a really nice purse as a “you are doing awesome at work, and ’treat yo self’” gift.  I spent a good hour browsing Marc by Marc Jacobs purses, and I love pretty much all of them. Hmm. HMMMM. Decisions decisions. 

What else? That’s really it. Oh! Except for Tuesday at work is a big (huge!!!!) day for me.  One of the projects I’ve been working on goes live on Tuesday! At the cottage earlier this year I remember showing my family sketches of what I envisioned for this new section we’re launching on Tuesday, and now on Tuesday it’s LIVE. So cool and crazy and exciting.

And one last thing before I go, but a shout out to my mom who knitted her 102nd hat (this year) for homeless people, as I mentioned in this post we ask people in our neighborhood to donate wool, and then knit hats to give away for the winter. Anywho, I’ve been terrible at it this year, but my mom has been awesome, so congrats to her.

And on that note, here some pics that sum up my weekend nicely, besides the massive selfie above. Ha!

Oz Comic Con - April 13th, 2014 (Sun) - part two

As complete a summary as I can be bothered with of Benedict Cumberbatch at the Oz Comic Con Sydney event (Sunday April 13th, 2014). Some parts have been paraphrased and others left out completely, so don’t take it as gospel, more as generally what went down.

continued from part 1.

12. His favourite childhood movie? Ghostbusters. Woo. The “asymmetrical comedic genius” of Bill Murray should have evaded him at the age he watched it at, but Murray’s extraordinarily brilliant, and there was something that made him go back to the film a lot. He liked that bit where the creepy music came in and the ghouls were just colliding into Manhattan, and loved that they were contained on this island, and at the centre of it was Peter Venkman. All three of them were brilliant. It was a fantastic creation. The idea for a kid that ghosts could be funny and scary was extraordinary. The dogs that guarded her were pretty terrifying, yet when Rick Moranis squeaks down the wall everyone carries on eating. It was very funny. “You should ask my mum this question.” She’s not in here today, but you should ask her. He wasn’t a geek, not too obsessive, but loved Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Woo. Quite liked Bond - he saw his first one, Octopussy, at quite a young age. Didn’t quite understand the seduction of beautiful women, but he liked the gadgets, was a typical boy in that sense. Indiana Jones was really cool.

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A New Place

Welp. No turning back now. Just cleaned up the floor and moved my crew in. Pretty much the same size as the attic (though I might have the existing bed hauled out because it’s too big for me), and just as sunny, if not more. 

Of course I could still shoot in the attic, not like I’m banned from the main house. But it’s not my sanctuary anymore. This is. It’ll be a while before I get used to photographing the place, but I’ll do my best and make it work for the crew. ^_^