because i have thoughts about this


Dear Ben,

I dreamt once that I lost you. We were on icebergs, and I can’t remember if you were floating away from me or I was floating away from you. But I remember waking up beside you. It was the middle of the night, and it was raining – like tonight. And I heard your breathing, calming me. It was like we could speak without words.

I wonder how and when we learned it, this secret language. I only know that at some point, in the silences, I heard you. And now I’m left with words – these useless words – when all I want is to be beside you again. To make you feel safe. To help you sleep. To bring you back to me.

          felicity awareness week 2017 → fav. ship → felicity ♥ ben

anonymous asked:

Why do you hate Trotsky? Or Lenin but that's a different argument.

The only thoughts I have about Trotsky involve fried chicken but then I realize I’m actually thinking about Colonel Sanders

I hate Lenin because I hate bald people

A woman I knew asking if I, a (sorta) TV critic, thought the show “Girls” was worth watching. *Me* “As best I can tell, it’s basically about the bad guy from Star Wars having to put up with a rather annoyingly privileged New York girl and her three equally annoyingly privileged friends. And because the lead lady isn’t ‘conventionally attractive’ we instantly have to love her or something.”

No wonder poor Adam went to the dark side.

anonymous asked:

since there's been a talk about arohas feeling left out, how about mentioning accounts you want to get to know more and if possible, a short reason why? ++if it's not too much to ask, send this also to those you've tagged so that it gets spread out? spread the luv!! (i see u answering this kind of asks so i thought you'd be a good person to start with?? <3)

hmm. i’ve been seeing that floating around a lot yes. idk if putting my own thoughts into this will help any new aroha at all because i can’t say i felt the same way. but maybe seeing from the perspective of someone who literally dove headfirst into the fandom might help new aroha out?

Keep reading

softjimon  asked:

table jace AU yes or yes?

okay so i fucking hate myself but here we go!! disclaimer: this is purely crack and entirely because i accidentally told @softjimon about this au as a joke and then couldn’t stop talking about it and now IT FUCKING EXISTS SO:

  • so jace is like….a table
  • to clarify, it’s not that he has similar qualities to a table. it’s that he literally shapeshifts into a table
  • he’s a…were-table, for lack of a better word. 
  • okay, okay, if we wanna get more elegant about it, you can say that jace has a superpower or something where he can manifest his energy into whatever he desires, but because of some mental struggles he has he’s stalled at table. 
  • so whenever he gets frustrated or scared or angry, he turns into a table.
  • god, i can’t believe i’m still writing this
  • anyway one day jace goes to the local thrift store to see if he can find any novelty mugs, because they always have a strange collection there. 
  • he’s rocking back and forth on his feet, trying to talk himself out of buying the mug with a cat crawling along it’s handle - does he need it, even though it’s absolutely the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen? - when the hot dude from his formal composition class walks into the store. 
  • jace just fucking panics because he may or may not have kissed the dude - simon - while he was drunk at a party last week and the thing is he likes simon, and likes the way he speaks, all animated and kind and enthusiastic, and he wants to take him on a date or something, not be the random dude who kissed him like an obnoxious frat boy. 
  • so jace does the only logical thing he ever does when he panics, which is, you know, turning into a fucking table
  • i hope you can guess what happens next
  • simon thinks “what a neat table!” and buys himself a coffee table for the room he rents from magnus!! since there’s no price tag on the “table”, the store owner, who’s completely mystified, agrees to give it to him for nearly free!! what a fucking steal!!
  • now jace-the-table is in simon’s room!!! jace is a table, so he can’t express emotion that well, but if he were in human form he would be screaming right about now. 
  • but he’s a table so he sits quietly as simon putters around his room and rearranges stuff to make room for his new table, and then halfway through he gets a call from clary and throws himself on the bed to chat with his best friend. 
  • there’s just a lot of “hmm” and “uh-huh” and “i know, clary” until simon suddenly groans. 
  • “no, he didn’t - i haven’t talked to him yet…i thought i saw him today at the store but i think i was hallucinating…yes i know he kissed me but what if it was an accident? i like jace, i don’t want him to think i’m desperate - shut up, fray, it doesn’t matter if i am desperate - “
  • jace-the-table feels like he’s in the middle of a fucking dream. 
  • simon likes him!! simon!! likes him!!
  • in the middle of all of this magnus walks into the room and freezes when he catches sight of the table. 
  • “what is that?” he asks simon flatly. 
  • simon hangs up on clary and stares at magnus in confusion. “a table?” he says slowly, like magnus has lost his mind. 
  • because magnus still has magic in this universe, so he shakes his head very slowly and says “no, it is not” and waves his hand, and jace turns back into a human. 
  • (a very naked human, which is new because usually he can do this with his clothes on)
  • simon almost goes into shock right there
  • “i don’t want to know.” magnus says as he backs out of the room. “i literally never want to know.” 
  • it turns out that magnus eventually has to know, because jace and simon have a long talk and then go on that first date they both wanted so badly, and then they go on a lot more dates, and then they just never stop going on dates, because they’re in love
  • the end, thank god

anonymous asked:

When do you think was the moment that Peter realized "the real" Johnny wasn't actually the persona that the media created/Johnny unwittingly embraced because he was a little child when his life did a total 180? Just wondering if you had any thoughts about how Peter may have thought about it when he realized that Johnny Storm is not the persona he has. (a "lady's man" when he's only had a few girlfriends, i stg)

I’m writing a scene in a WIP right now that’s about this, so I don’t want to reveal my thoughts too much, but I don’t know if it would completely click for Peter without having it spelled out for him – after all, the Fantastic Four are some of the biggest celebrities in the 616 universe, so he’s constantly surrounded by reminders of their public personas. I think the shifts in how he views Johnny have been gradual and even now he’s not entirely at a place where he’s consciously separated Johnny, As Perceived By The Public from Johnny, The Actual Person, especially because Peter spent a long time being envious of things he perceived Johnny had. So it’s not like a eureka! moment (as of yet, anyway), so a subconscious sort of adjustment over the years. 

This is subject to possible rewrites since half the scene’s missing but it’s been fun tooling around with:

“And then eventually I had to be the kind of boy moms didn’t want their daughters bringing home to dinner.”

“And now nobody has to worry because you just break into my place with pizza,” Peter joked, aiming for soothing.

Johnny laughed, but not like he thought Peter was funny.

“I’m really sick of getting left,” he said. “Medusa, too. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m fake, you know? I’m just this image we sold so we wouldn’t be military lab rats or a circus freak show or whatever Reed was afraid of. But I was all fake to start with, not like Sue.” He wiped at his eyes again. “This used to be fun, right, Pete? Being a superhero?”

“Don’t ask me, I’ve never had fun a single day in my life,” Peter said. “Oh, geez, just come here already, please?”

Anyway one of these days I’m going to tally Johnny’s relationships up against Peter “never met a love triangle he couldn’t get in the middle of” Parker’s and see where the chips fall.

anonymous asked:

So, the problem is that I have very intrusive thoughts (is that what you call them?) and i have always had them. When i recently got into paganism and heathenry, I have had some pretty horrible thoughts. I don't do it on purpose, I try to not think but that just makes it worse. Some of the intrusive thoughts were about some of the gods, such as Freyja, Loki, Odin, Thor... I don't know if this could get me in trouble, and i really hope not. could i screw up everything because of these thoughts?

Hi Nonny,

As you know, humans are quite capable of understanding that our intrusive thoughts aren’t really “us.” They’re just what our brain involuntarily spits out at us. It’s how we react to them that really matters and defines us as a person.

And if we as humans are capable of grasping this, it’s kind of a given that gods, with their greater wisdom and experience, are capable too. The gods understand that your intrusive thoughts aren’t a deliberate insult or reflective of your actual beliefs. And they don’t look down on people for having disabilities they can’t control. A number of our gods, including Odin, are portrayed as disabled themselves!

It’s okay to avoid praying on bad mental health days if the pain and worry the thoughts cause outweigh the benefits of practicing. But it’s also totally fine to just tune out the thoughts as best you can and push through if that’s what you’d rather do. Again, the gods will understand and most likely appreciate the effort. Mental illness making you ritually impure was never a thing in historical Heathenry and has no reason to be a thing now, even if some big name Heathens try to borrow concepts from other religions and make it so.

- Mod E

do ever just feel so fundamentally gay like not even the lol relatable way but like i just thought about the fact that there are people out there that are just 100% straight they’re whole lives,, and theyre born into this world where being straight is ‘’’’normal’’’ and they never have to question that because they’re never really put in a position where they would need to, they just,,,, go on living their straight lives, seeing straight people all around them,, living straight, dying straight like,, ,,,,, tbh ,, — wild 

anonymous asked:

Thoughts on RAS’ new Sabrina show?

i like how they went about it; introducing it as a new show and letting it build its own identity separate from Riverdale. I think that their decision satisfied the fans, such as myself, that were apprehensive about the idea of the possibility of having Sabrina and the occult plot line join Riverdale.

personally, i don’t think i’m gonna watch it simply because i’m not interested in it. but knowing how well RAS handles Riverdale, i’m sure that Sabrina fans won’t be disappointed. I just hope that with RAS’ time and attention being split into running two shows, that neither of them would suffer because of it, and that both Riverdale and whatever they decide to call Sabrina’s show experience long-standing success.

Messing around with the guys, checking out areas when Gladio’s phrasing about Costelmark intrigued me. Very similar to other dialogs about the “weirdo” in the game. 

Yes. Ardyn. I know these are Solheim ruins, but Ardyn (at least I HC) was alive during the Ancient Era during Solheim’s prosperity. What if he was the one who built/designed Costelmark? What was it/used for before it was overrun with Solheim citizens turning into daemons? and a Jabberwock

Then the chocobros have already met the weirdo. I feel like this must be true just because of the irony of Gladio’s statement.  Well, that is my little thought bubble before bed. :-) 

this has been the richest verse that we’ve learned about so far. both the οτι and the εγενετο are words with implications that id never considered much for this verse when reading my english bible, and though i have no translating skills yet my teachers helped me see a little more both how this fragment connects to the rest of the thought through the “because,” as it gives reason for the previous thought instead of simply building on it, and how Jesus’ role in salvation is contrasted with moses as the law doesn’t “come through” him, but grace and truth come “into being through him.” 

anonymous asked:

well to be honest, I always felt alone and felt like nobody would be my friend. I had a fear for other people because of my experience in elementary school, I was bullied alot and that made me scared and anxious and stuff.

i understand! I didnt have many friends going through elementary and middle school because people thought i was that weird quiet fat kid.

But it gets better, you wont be alone forever and you arent alone now! I care about you, and there are others that care about you too! <3

rainsofmay  asked:

my take for cag and prelati is that cag identifies 200% as a woman and did so even before she met germain and prelati is agender and just went with the woman's body thing because Alchemy and the two of them have dumb arguments about this constantly.

nothing to argue here tbh. i’ve been undecided on prelati really, since (aside from the “anime is like that so it’s probably not meant to be thought about”) fully transitioning your sex and being like “yep no big deal, girl now” is certainly a thing

so i’ve been settling at “nb prelati i guess” especially with “you talked about woman’s intuition but you didn’t even get that until later.” mostly it feels like that dashes a binary trans girl prelati thing, with the differing views there, personally

500% better though with them arguing about it though. (or specifically cags saying a bunch of stupid things ad nauseum until prelati bites back.) s-g is caught in the crossfire trying to be professional and serious while they bicker like children

hatred of male characters: I hate him because I think his actions in part three and four really embody the kind of arrogance and rigidity he hates in others and that’s hypocritical. I’ve thought about it extensively and it’s just that his character act does not have the payoff it was set up to have so it really falls flat and makes him two dimensional. Willing to discuss this further with anyone who’s curious as to my reasons/am amenable to hearing different interpretations of him!

hatred of female characters: um she’s a bitch and should die

Most of us guessed that Navy would end up betraying everyone by the end of the episode. 

I don’t think most of us expected that having her go from this:

to this:

would be really good for Lapis’ mental health.

And despite certain people’s fears about certain story boarders… this was actually very much in character for her. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Lapis has always been cynical, even in her pre mirror days. After she escaped she went from cynical to detached and apathetic. Not an unexpected defense mechanism for someone who was trapped in an inanimate object for 6,000 years. But she has made progress. She trusts Steven and Peridot. Enough not only to express her concerns, but to essentially make a confession.

Life on Earth is really confusing. It took me a long time to get use to it. I’m still getting use to it.

Given everything that’s happened to her on Earth, it’s only natural that she’s having a hard time adjusting. But she’s just confessed her biggest insecurity: she knows she’s having a hard time dealing with what she’s been through, while having to get use to to living a normal life on the planet where her greatest traumas happened. Before the rebellion she would have done her job and left for the next planet, Earth having been a distant memory by this time. But now she can never leave. Earth has to become home. 

She wants to move on, but feels guilty about how difficult actually doing that is.

So here comes this I-Insta-Love-All-Things-Earth ruby, who seems freakishly well adjusted from the moment she crashes face first into the planet. Never mind that she was lied to not once, but twice, by the crystal gems. Never mind that she was blasted out into space and abandoned while they stole her ship. All is instantly forgiven and she just wants to be a part of their happy family.

Worse yet? The people Lapis cares most about just buy it. They go right along with it as though Navy’s behavior is perfectly normal. It took time for Lapis to even begin to be okay with the idea of living in Earth and forgiving the crystal gems- she’s still working on it, and it’s painful. She’s worked so hard for every inch of progress she’s made, and here’s someone who’s seemingly able to move on the same day they got to Earth.

I just don’t get it. Why is it so easy for her when it was so hard for me? 

So when the perfectly well adjusted Navy turned out to be a gleeful sociopath  gleefully hell bent on revenge, everything fell into place.

Navy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal was the best thing to happen for Lapis’ mental health to date.

So what’s the take away from this? 1) People react differently to trauma. 2) Just because someone seems well adjusted doesn’t mean they are. 3) It’s okay to take a long time to heal from your traumas. It’s okay for it to be a constant work in progress. It’s okay not to be okay. 

And at the end of the day, that realization can almost feel like happiness. 

i have thought a lot about censorship and what is “appropriate”. not a lot of people know this, but lolita was written to show what we allow on our bookshelves: there being no swear words in it meant it was free from censorship. a book about child molestation was allowed because it didn’t explicitly use the word “fuck”. he wrote it to show we don’t really care about protecting children, and it ended up being seen as a romance.

someone once told me - actually, many people have - that lgbt content isn’t appropriate for children. any content. not just kissing. i’m drowned in questions: “won’t the parents have to explain it?” “kids shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age, or do you think differently?” “what will the kids think?”

at six i saw disney movies. people kiss and get married. i didn’t ask “what does that mean.” i didn’t ask “are those people going to have sex?” i didn’t ask anything, because i was six, and no six year old thinks twice about these things. nobody ever “explained” being straight to me, it was a fact, and it existed, and i was fine with that. why would being gay require a thesis, i wonder.

someone once told me that the one of the reasons people hate lgbt individuals is because they can’t see us as anything but sexual. we’re not people, so much as sinners. that they don’t see love, they see sex. just sex. it’s perversion, not a matter of the heart. only of the body.

i think i was in my early twenties before i saw someone like me. 

how old were you, though, before you saw violence? before you saw sexual assault on tv? i think something like that is only pg-13, and if it’s implied, they can get away with anything. i remember watching things and learning about blood, but knowing sex - sex was what was really wrong. sex was always rated r. sex was always kind of a bad word. i was told a lot that i wasn’t ready.

i had a dream last night that i made a site where people could ask any question they wanted about sex and get answered by a professional. it was shut down in moments because 15 year olds wanted to know if it should hurt, if “double-bagging” was a real thing, if this, if that. we shudder. don’t let the children know about that! 

but at thirteen i had seen enough violence it no longer struck me. i couldn’t say “fuck” but i knew that if you break your femur, you can bleed out internally in under half an hour. in school i wasn’t allowed to write about loving girls because what would the administration think - but i could write about wanting to kill myself and people would say how lovely, how blistering.

i have thought a lot about censorship. sometimes people on this site try it with me: don’t write this, don’t be so nasty. some of it is intrinsic. we know as people with a uterus not to complain about “that time of the month”, we know better than to talk about sexual assault (how shameful), we know that talking about a vagina is somehow scandalous. i can say “dick” and nobody questions me. some people only refer to the bottom half of me by “pussy”. they won’t wrap a mouth around “vagina” like it’s poison to them. even discussing this, that the language halts, that there’s an intrinsic desire to say “girls” instead of “women” - feels naughty, illicit. not for children.

the other day someone suggested i make my blog 18+. i said, okay, it deals a lot with depression and other problems that might be for a mature audience. oh no, they said, that’s not it, i think that’s helpful. i said, okay. so what is it then. well, you’re gay. you write about loving women. and i said, i don’t write about sex often and they said. it’s not about the sex. but wlw isn’t for a general audience. teenagers aren’t ready.


lolita is recommended for high school and up. i think about that a lot. i know girls who love it, who say it speaks to them on a deep level. it’s beautiful prose, after all. that was the whole point of the novel. something that looked like a rose but was intrinsically awful. i think about how if i was a model they’d want me to look young, thin, prepubescent. how my body would be sold and how through the mall i walk by images of barely-clothed women while mothers cannot breastfeed in public without fear of retribution. 

i think about how i can write a novel about violence and it will be pg-13 but if my characters say “fuck” twice it’s inappropriate. i said fuck three times so far in this post, which makes it only appropriate for adults. 

i think about that, and how my identity is something that people suggest lines up with a swear word. that people shouldn’t talk about it. that it’s a vulgarity. bad for children, harsh, confusing.

fuck. i love women. which one makes this only for those over eighteen.

  • Leo: Are you mad at me?
  • Piper, Jason, Hazel, Frank, Percy and Annabeth: No
  • Leo, internally: I can’t believe they’re fucking mad at me

I don’t think people realize what rare and beautiful gifts really good full AMVs are.

Like… that’s hard. Really, really hard.

Something I’ve learned is that the longer you’ve been editing, the more time it takes to make an edit, which is probably the reason AMVs can take literal months to make, and most vidders usually cut the songs down and/or make short edits.

To keep up consistently good timing, clip choice, pacing, transitions, effects, and possibly even masking or typography over give or take three and a half minutes of song is a huge challenge.

It’s generally considered to take three hours to edit one minute of a movie. Apply that here, and we have it taking about nine hours for a fairly short AMV… and given that we don’t get paid to make these, and have to wrestle with hitting every single beat of the song, it can take much longer.

And we also have to keep our motivation up, find time to edit, not grow to detest the song, and struggle with technical difficulties. All of that is really grating.

I’ve been editing for a couple months over a year now, and, while I started out making almost exclusively full AMVs, I can’t do that anymore. I’ve improved a lot, and by this point, using the whole song is intimidating and requires a level of dedication that I could not possibly achieve every time I edit.

It’s been literally a year since the last time I’ve edited a full-length song that I didn’t trim.

So if you find an awesome full AMV, appreciate it! Tell the vidder that you love it!

I’m honestly just so in awe of AMVs and the people who edit them. Vidders are really badass.

Cherish them and their work.