because i have so much to offer

klarolinekolvina  asked:

Your awesome my prompt is blood, love, original Caroline and Klaus NSFW

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Niklaus?” Caroline asked horrified as she watched her husband walk into their room… Completely covered in blood.

She gasped as she watched the rich red stains he was leaving on their carpet, her mind already thinking of all the ways she could make him pay for it, because he was so not allowed to destroy their room when she had just finished renovating.

Klaus just smirked at her, “The witches were so delicious, I thought I would offer you a taste. I know how much you despise when I let a meal go to waste.”

She sighed, figuring that she could have someone dealing with it later. He was right, after all… She did hate letting good blood go to waste.

“Bathroom. I will not have you getting our room even dirtier.”

He grinned, “As you wish, my love.”

They both sped to the bathroom and she wasted no time tearing his shirt apart, taking in his bare torso, blood dripping down his chest from his neck. Caroline licked her lips in anticipation, his eyes darkened at the sight.

Even after all a millennium together, just being this close, just the expectations of what was to come… It was enough to have them burning for each other.

Caroline grabbed one of his hands, bringing it to her lips and wrapping them around one finger. She kept eye contact as she sucked it clean, moaning when he growled. The metallic taste combined to the one of his skin was addictive, so she moved on to the next one and the one after that until his hand was clean and her inner thighs soaking.

Klaus wordlessly offered her his other hand, his whole body filled with tension, as if he had to control every inch of himself so that he wouldn’t cut their game short and just fuck her. She refused it, though, eyes focusing on the single drop of blood that had made it to his stomach, leaving a bloody trail until his nipple.

She kissed his lips, tasting the blood that was staining them, staining his jaw… Then she lowered herself in front of him, her hands resting on his hips as her tongue licked the path of blood on his torso, making her way up until she captured his nipple with her teeth playfully. He groaned at her and she smirked, licking more blood away, her monster happily sighing, knowing that its needs were being taken care of.

She spent a good while on his neck, not only cleaning up the blood, but also teasing him with bites and kisses. Each moan of her name, a victory in her ears.

Then he squeezed her hips as a warning before she found herself being bent over, her hands grabbing the sink for support as he lifted up the skirt of her dress and pushed down his pants.

“Klaus, please,” she pleaded when he brushed his cock against her folds. A small revenge for all the teasing she’d inflicted.

But this time he was merciful and buried himself inside of her, fucking her hard and fast – and if now they’d have to renovate their bathroom as well as the carpet on their bedroom, well… in his opinion it was more than worth it.

chenrise  asked:

You've already proved that the L in your EXO-L stands for EXO-Love but now you're showing us all that it also stands for EXO-Logic. Fans and antis alike been EXO-Losing It™ and you're the tree in the storm that manages to stay upright but still moves enough to show what direction the wind is blowing. Your theories behind what the heckity heck is going on have the hope we need for the short term but the reason we need to make it through long term.

I don’t even know what to say to this because it’s so sweet ?? Thank you so much!!

I’m just trying to offer my own opinion on the mess that is happening because even though I am just as upset about all of this as everyone else and just as worried, I don’t like the number of people I’m seeing assuming the worst of the worst. Saying that this is proof that Yixing is going to leave exo; it isn’t. Yixing has made it clear he is never going to leave exo if he can help it, his contract doesn’t even end until 2022 and SM have made it very clear with Kris, Luhan and Tao that they don’t like having contracts cut short.

This is a shitty messy situation but it’s not the end of exo or of Yixing as a part of exo. Really I think this is just the knock on effect of the political tensions between China and Korea effecting SM’s scheduling.

I have to listen to the kids. Without any knowledge of what went on during our session, the kids offered text confirmations to ensure that he knew this is how they felt. At the session, i brought up the fact that he had told 13 that “The only reason I am here during the week, is because your mother doesn’t want you to be alone.” That hurt her so much, but she told me about it that very same night. I try to explain it away. I am so sick of making excuses for him. He says that the girls tell him that I talk shit about him. He’s lying. I know this, because I don’t talk shit. I also asked them if they said that. They did not. The kids truly and honestly feel that he does not want to be around. He’s not the same. He’s always looking at his watch, at the time, saying he wants to leave. To go and sleep. They are sure that he doesn’t go to straight to gammas and go to sleep. That breaks my heart.
They have told me before, but they were adamant last night. They don’t know why I am trying so hard. They say that I deserve better. They say that this isn’t their daddy. They say that he makes them feel bad because he claims that all they do is ask for stuff. They also say that if he was around, asking for things wouldn’t be so obvious. Kids need things. Mom, you can’t do it all, all the time. They say that he takes them fun places, so yes, they expect it during his self proclaimed visitations. And if he pays for something thats $20 with $100 bill they will assume that he has plenty of extra money. So why he says no to something they ask for is not understood.
They remember how I pretended to have a night out just so he would be home & spend time with them. He didn’t want to be there. He would sulk and hide. He is always moody now.
He’s sick now. Depressed. He refuses to acknowledge it. I see it. All of the doctors he has seen can see it. He refuses to treat it. That is unfortunate. I recognize that too.
He must do better with them.
I’ll bring it up next week because that’s the only time I can talk to my husband now.

Milk and Honey // Rupi Kaur

Aries: “Our backs tell stories no books have the spine to carry”

Taurus: “Perhaps the saddest of all are those who live waiting for someone they’re not even sure exists”

Gemini: “I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you, I left because the longer I stayed the less I loved myself”

Cancer: “What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives”

Leo: “I will never understand why you held me if you were afraid of warmth, you should have known I was a fire”

Virgo: “The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it”

Libra: “I am water, soft enough to offer life tough enough to drown it away”

Scorpio: “If you were born with the weakness to fall you were born with the strength to rise”

Sagittarius: “I do not want to have you to fill the empty parts of me, I want to be full on my own”

Capricorn: “We began with honesty, let us end in it too”

Aquarius: “Your body is a museum of natural disasters can you grasp how stunning that is”

Pisces: “You treat them as if they have a heart like yours but not everyone can be as soft and as tender as you”

on how I inadvertently made my hometown haunted

I know I’ve shared this story before, but I can’t find it.

I grew up in a log cabin in the woods on the outskirts of a small rural town. It’s so small that it doesn’t actually show up on any maps - the only official marker is a small green sign on the edge of the road, and the longest-residing resident automatically becomes the mayor. We have a few houses, a gas station, a Masonic lodge, a Quaker church, and a couple of small graveyards. The rest is farm and woodland.

One day, I was visiting a school friend in the next town over. There were six or seven of us there, doing nothing but munching on pretzels, talking shit, and stewing in a questionable hot tub. I didn’t get out much, so this was a real party for me.

I stayed late because one girl I didn’t know offered to give me a ride home. I lived about 20 minutes away, but she didn’t mind - she liked driving country roads and wanted the practice. We were halfway there when I casually mentioned the name of my town and she nearly veered off the road.

She turned to stare at me in horror. “Are you serious?! I’m not driving there!”

“Why… not?” I had no idea what her problem was. It’s not like there’s a crime problem. Was it too far away? Was she going to leave me stranded?

“It’s super haunted. I hear so many bad stories about that place,” she said. I think my jaw dropped, but she was completely serious.

“What have you heard?” I asked. Haunted? And *I* didn’t know about it? Me, the kid who drank up ghost stories and urban legends like mother’s milk?

She explained how she’d heard stories about secret societies, strange rituals, black dogs, witches, mysterious gated roads, creepy houses, hooded figures roaming graveyards, and more. She was clearly terrified.

It took me a moment to process everything before I burst into laughter. Gasping for breath, I said, “That’s me! That’s all me! That’s literally all my family!”

My dad, a Freemason, had offered our woods as a location for rituals. My dog at the time, a black Labrador, was allowed to roam free. My parents often cooked over an open fire in a cauldron, either preparing food or chemical treatments for my father’s craftsmanship. Our log cabin we constructed out of pieces of old 18th century local buildings and is filled with oddities @. The hooded figures had been my birthday party, wandering the cemetery with lanterns ‘cause there was nowhere else to go.

“It’s not haunted,” I assured her. “That’s all just my family doing normal stuff. You can visit if you like. The scariest thing in town and the source of all these stories is already sitting next to you in your car, so what’s to fear?”

She did eventually calm down enough to drive me home, and we had a good laugh about it. I have no idea how far my town’s reputation for spookiness has reached, but I’m honored to be the inspiration of at least a few urban (rural?) legends.

do you guys ever think about how yuri plisetsky, at just age fifteen, has apparently been supporting his family through his figure skating via government grants which means not only does he have to regularly compete, but he always has to do well and to consistently perform, so he’s probably never allowed to have an off performance or it means less money, less support, less opportunities, and when victor nikiforov himself, five time world champion, offers to choreograph a program for him, yuri jumps at the chance because yes, think of how much he could get if he won his very first grand prix series off of victor’s choreography – think of his ailing grandfather whom he loves so much, an absentee mother – figure skating is everything to yuri, it’s the only thing he thinks he has to offer, it’s the thing he relies on the most for emotional and financial support, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. so he throws everything onto the ice, wins the junior championship just as victor said, and now he’s about to make his pro senior debut and he’s gonna get victor to make good on his promise and–

victor just… disappears. flies across the world, completely forgets he ever promised yuri anything, turns around and blatantly uses yuri while making it clear that beyond a week’s worth of coaching him on a program, victor has no intentions of giving yuri anything bc he’s so wrapped up in yuuri 

and yuri feels – abandoned, betrayed, hurt; left behind again like he always is, left waiting like he always is, used as a means to an end; is it any wonder he’s pissed off? but then this beautiful, brilliant boy takes a program he only spent a week learning from its choreographer – he takes that program, refines it, improves it and breaks victor’s world record with it, slaps victor in the face with it by winning over yuuri and telling him, victor nikiforov is dead, victor isn’t everything yuri had thought he would be and it doesn’t matter bc yuri will make himself, define himself, choose things for himself now.

do you ever think about this bc i do and it hurts me but i love this boy so much, he deserves everything

On Hunk and Food

First I want to say that I’m not trying to talk over nor silence anyone who has issues with Hunk’s enjoyment of food in Voltron. Your feelings are always valid. However, I do want to offer another perspective on the matter that I don’t think many of you have the experience of understanding through living.

Because I don’t think many of you are or know trained chefs.

We have been shown in both seasons that, besides being an incredibly gifted engineer, Hunk is also an accomplished cook, if not a trained chef (I lean toward the later with him, because he resonates SO much with me on the topic of food - yes there IS a distinct difference between the way a Foodie and a Culinarian talk about and interact with food!)

The thing about chefs is… we talk about food, we think about food, we make food analogies, we explain things using food as an example, we compare other things to food. I’m currently the sales manager and accountant (among other things) for my family’s seamster business. I compare literally every aspect of our business to food and restaurant management, to the point where I think I’m driving my partners insane sometimes.

Pricing our products? Gotta balance that menu! That scarf that has very low material cost and sells like crazy is like our chicken dish, so we can keep the cost of our high-end “salmon and lamb” plushes competitive! Extremely complex custom orders? Those are our wedding cakes and big catering jobs!

Want to win my heart? Cook me a nice meal. Want to give me the best gift ever? Take me to that fancy restaurant I’ve been eyeing. Want to make me feel creative and blessed? Get me an ingredient that I haven’t cooked with before or don’t get to cook with often. Mom gifted me a gram of saffron one Christmas and I nearly burst into tears I was so touched.

When I first watched the scene in S2 where they’re all standing around thinking about Zarkon and Hunk says he was thinking about calzones I nearly lost my shit because that was me right there on the screen. My husband and fiancee both groaned fondly and face palmed because yes, they know, I’m always thinking about food!

I have other skills. I primarily consider myself a writer, as Hunk would primarily be considered an engineer, and writing does have influence over my life and my conversations, just has Hunk did demonstrate his engineering skills in S2. But there is something about also being a chef that keeps food coming up in conversation.

Yes, Hunk is a big guy (just a side note, the reason he’s the strongest member of the team is because he has the caloric reserves to burn that Shiro doesn’t), a lot of chefs are also big guys (and gals, and enbies!). Loving food and being large is perfectly wonderful and beautiful. Being a chef and constantly talking about food is modus operandi and I was truly delighted to see his character unfold in a way that resonated with me so very much.

To quote Eliot Spencer: “Food is Life.”

How We Met AU's

You found me wandering lost around an Ikea. We’re both lost and I’m getting really scared so you built us a fort and now the employees are trying to get us out of it.

I’ve lost my dog and I’ve been searching for them all day now. You found me crying on the curb and offered to help. I have no idea who you are but thank you so much for helping.

Our group had a lip sync battle and you got up there and lip synced to Sexy Back and didn’t break eye contact with me. I’m both turned on and embarrassed.

You pepper sprayed me in the face because you thought I was your creepy ex. I’m mad but then I actually looked at you and said a cheesy pick up line so now we’re just staring at each other awkwardly, but my eyes still burn please help.

8

Dearest. There are no accidents and he would have found us one way or another. Everything comes full circle. Be grateful it was sooner rather than later. You’ll think it harsh of me to say so, but no explanation I offer will satisfy you. Please don’t be angry when I tell you that you seek resolutions and explanations because you’re young. But you will understand this one day. And when it happens, I want you to imagine me there to greet you, our lives stretched out ahead of us, a perpetual sunrise. But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, and you, my darling, even more. Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can… I release you.

6
Carol (2015)

Dearest. There are no accidents and he would have found us one way or another. Everything comes full circle. Be grateful it was sooner rather than later. You’ll think it harsh of me to say so, but no explanation I offer will satisfy you. Please don’t be angry when I tell you that you seek resolutions and explanations because you’re young. But you will understand this one day. And when it happens, I want you to imagine me there to greet you, our lives stretched out ahead of us, a perpetual sunrise. But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, and you, my darling, even more. Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can… I release you.

Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

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Sit down buckaroos because I’m gonna share some historical insight with you because of ignorant people who are trying to discard the most badass character in all of feminist characters in musical theatre history and I won’t take that.
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Katherine Ethel Pulitzer was a real person - daughter of Joseph and Kate Pulitzer. So there’s fact number 1 to prove she was an actual living person in the 1800’s. Fact 2. When you say women weren’t journalists back then well you obviously have never heard nor read about Elizabeth Jane Cochran also known by her pen name “Nellie Bly”. She was the inspiration behind Katherine’s character in the first place. They basically merged the real Katherine with Nellie and created this character. Nellie Bly began writing for “The Pittsburg Dispatch” in 1885 and moved to New York City two years later to begin working at “New York World”. She was known for her investigative and undercover reporting, including posing as a sweatshop worker to expose poor working conditions faced by women. She earned her acclaim in 1887 when she went undercover at an asylum on Blackwell’s Island and posed as one of the patients to get the story and in turn had launched a full on investigation on the treatment of the institution and the well being of patients (which wasn’t a well being at all with neglect and physical abuse) in said facility. In 1889 she went around the world in a record-setting 72 days, 6 hours, 11 minutes and 14 seconds in attempt to break the faux record of Phileas Fogg, the fictional title character in Jules Verne’s novel “Around the World in 80 Days”. At the age of 18 (my age) she submitted a racy response to an editorial piece that had been published in The Pittsburgh Dispatch that made sexist statements towards women. The writer was Erasmus Wilson (known as the Quiet Observer or Q.O.) Nellie’s letter grabbed the attention of the paper’s managing editor, George Madden, who then offered her a position. She later published a book about the experience titled: “Around the World in 72 Days” in 1890.
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So don’t you DARE tell me Katherine Plumber wasn’t a vital asset to these boy’s story. She’s more of an inspiration to me than ANY character I’ve read about. Nellie Bly is an inspiration who makes me want a writing career. I am very much like Katherine (in more ways than just having power bangs) and because of her I’ve learned to love myself. Because of her I can get through days when I’ve got a shit ton of Senior year homework knocking me down. Because of her I’m happier. Katherine and Nellie are huge inspirations to me and if you hate either one of them just unfollow me now. Because these two are my role models and always will be❤

Comfort Sentence Starters, Part II

“Hey, it’s all right. Everybody argues sometimes.”
“Just because you didn’t agree doesn’t mean it’s over.”
“The fact that you fought means s/he cares enough to want to change your opinion.”
“Come on, you know that doesn’t really matter to her/him.”
“No, don’t say that. You’re going to be okay.”
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”
“It isn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes love just changes.”
“You gave it your best shot, that’s all anyone could ask of you.”
“I’m here and I love you.”
“ I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you.”
“Love is never a waste and you know that.”
“We don’t have to talk about it right now, but I’m here if/when you want to.”
“Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.”
“You are beautiful and capable and strong. You’ll overcome this.”
“I’m sorry you’re hurting so much.”
“You’re not alone in this. I’m here for you.”
“You are important and you matter.”
“When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.”
“I can’t really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.”
“You won’t drive me away. I’m not going to leave you or abandon you.”

2

The things I learned from my parents, what was deeply ingrained in their generation, is this idea of opportunity and the freedom to have an opportunity. The way the United States was thought of is as a place you can have this chance to do anything, to say, “This is my idea, and I get to offer it to you, and if you like it, I can profit from it.” It’s why they were so encouraging of me to act too, because they knew how much easier it was to do here. - Sebastian Stan

2

I really wanted to try doing a more realistic portrait again so I used my beloved DnD character, Marf the Monk. 

TONS of new experimenting in one drawing! Especially coloring, brush use, and lighting. I’m really hype because I finally got the “colorizing a black and white painting” to work out and while the grayscale may have taken ~10 hours to shade, it only took about one hour to color! I’m definitely going to practice this method some more because I’d love to be able to offer examples of this style for commissions.

The Thing about Mary

It’s been awhile since I made a post about Mary… it’s overdue. *crackles knuckles, limbers up fingers*

It made no sense. None of what they wrote made sense. What was the narrative point of Mary? To “create” Sherlock Holmes and John Watson? I call bullshit; they were already that without any external help. Moreover, if that was her purpose all along, she sure did a lot to destroy that very thing: the dynamic of arguably the most famous and celebrated male friendship in English literature. Just in case we’ve forgotten: 

Mary started undermining both John and Sherlock, individually and together, from the moment she appeared on the screen. She had already interrupted John’s attempted proposal once to excuse herself to the bathroom or wherever she went (”Now then, what did you want to ask me?”)*, then interrupted him and corrected him and laughed at him throughout. Her pattern of gaslighting, demeaning, and manipulating him continues through every moment of their shared time together on screen. Nowhere is it more evident than in the opening of His Last Vow, wherein she basically follows textbook procedure on gaslighting, from correcting his perceptions (”about a month, actually”, “see? That does happen!”) to doing it in front of a third party (humiliation) to questioning his motives and abilities (”why you?”) to outright forbidding him to do something (”you can’t go”) to inserting her presence where he clearly didn’t want it, then trying to sugarcoat it all by giving him a compliment - one which he reacted to not with pleasure or a softening of his obvious anger, but with a terse statement that he was already aware of what she was complimenting him on. It’s an abusive relationship, full stop. 

*Shout-out to @blogstandbygo​ for pointing this out in our recent hang-out with @addictedstilltheaddict​ and another friend in Toronto last week

She inserted herself between them from that very first scene and made it clear that any form of friendship they were going to have was to happen through the medium of herself, and only on those terms. This was so clear to John that he patently disguised his intention to see Sherlock to her as of their first conversation about it (during which she was openly mocking his blog posts about Sherlock, another form of demeaning and humiliation). This forced brokering of their relationship led to John eventually being ousted from his own friendship with Sherlock (who was too distracted by Moriarty to notice Mary’s machinations, alas). John was so unhappy with this dynamic that became the least like his canonical self that we had ever been shown before that point, going so far as to actively seek out an affair. This is decidedly not like John Watson, the man who got himself arrested because someone insulted his best friend. Loyalty is as much a part of John as his thirst for adventure. He was made to feel so superfluous by the wife who compared him to a dog and the friend who didn’t notice what was going on that he was looking desperately for escape. 

Mary, on the other hand, never gave John her loyalty. She never even gave him the truth. She died without him even knowing whether her name was really her name (doubtful, given the sort of work she was doing while using it). Mary gave John nothing but lie after lie after lie. He could never trust a word that she said, and he hated it. She was willing to do anything to him, as long as it kept him by her side. She was willing to shoot the man he was still grieving years after his (supposed) death and never tell him after, no matter how much it would have devastated him to lose Sherlock all over again. As for Sherlock, she shot him without a second thought, smirking and condescending. 

Mary never once showed a shred of remorse for any of it. Not for any of her past crimes, which included killing people for money - not for anger, not for principle, not for political manoeuvring - but something as tawdry and meaningless as money. Gross. And she never regretted it. Not that the creators of the canon decided to show us. She never expressed any regret for having lied to John, nor for the way she constantly treated him. She never expressed any gratitude to Sherlock for having rid her of the blackmailer that would have sent her to prison for a very long time. She accepted it as her due, without blinking. She never thanked Sherlock, John, or Mycroft for having become accomplices in her attempted murder on Sherlock’s life in not having reported it. She assumed that was her right, too. Mary was a psychopath and narcissist, not caring about right or wrong, just what benefited her. 

Mary never changed her ways. There was no development of character, no softening, no realisation that everything she had ever stood for was completely terrible. Right to the last she was calling a man she had tried to kill a “pig”, offensively mimicking accents, still owning and carrying around guns and enough drugs to knock out a seasoned user. If anything, what we were shown was someone who had not only not changed, but someone who kept repeating the same behaviour. When the .A.G.R.A. team got into trouble on its final mission, Mary cut and run, leaving the other 75% of her team to be tortured or killed. She never went back and checked to see if a rescue mission was possible, never followed up, never confirmed the deaths of her teammates, just blithely moved on with her life and got married without once looking back. Sherlock offered to help her, twice. With the weight and power of the British government directly related to him, this isn’t exactly an offer to be taken lightly, yet Mary attacked him on both occasions, first shooting him in the heart and running away, then drugging him and running away - just as she left her former colleagues behind. 

If you want to take the argument that motherhood somehow redeemed Mary, think twice on that, too. I’m not a parent, but just about every mother I know would never leave an infant behind. Obviously it happens; infants get abandoned all the time. Most mothers don’t, though. Was Rosie not nursing anymore? Was she ever? Did Mary think about that before she cut and run, or was she too busy with her offensive faux-Jewish accent and possible flight attendant murder there? My mother used to tell me that her own life took on so much greater weight once I had been born because she had something to live for, someone who needed her. She stopped taking any sort of risk that would endanger her, because she had a child to care for. Mary doesn’t seem to have been similarly affected by parenthood. Her inexplicable and unsupported decision to jump in front of a bullet says that perfectly, if her previous abandonment didn’t. 

Never forget that John had the measure of Mary. It was John who knew that Mary would turn on Sherlock, should Sherlock warn her about Ajay and offer to help her again. It was John who grimly suggested putting a tracking device in the USB, knowing that Mary would attack Sherlock and steal it from him. While she was living, John had no illusions about who Mary really was. 

Mary’s decision to defy physics and leap in front of that bullet was not the culmination of an arc of redemption. What it was is a completely out of character action that jars with everything that came before it. It’s wholly unsupported by any of her previous behaviour. This was, if anything, a “redemption split second”, not an arc. Followed by her DVD wherein she pointedly tells Sherlock to kill himself or get himself killed, it is to be understood that this behaviour was an aberration from the norm. Mary never changed. If she had, she would have gotten rid of her guns and ninja outfits and come properly clean with John without waiting until circumstances forced it out, and even then only giving him partial truths. It could almost be said that Mary was pathologically incapable of telling the truth, but that would be making excuses for her. She knew what she was about. She made all of these decisions by herself, to benefit herself and her own interests. 

The Mary in John’s head never existed. It can’t even be discussed in a conversation about Mary’s characterisation, because it wasn’t Mary. It was John. And what John said about Mary at the end of The Lying Detective is a displacement of his own thoughts about Sherlock. John has a lot of dissociation issues in this episode in particular, and what he says about Mary is a statement which actually applies directly to Sherlock, not to Mary. This is John simply unwilling to believe that his marriage was as abusive and terrible as it really was, and trying to make himself feel better about it. The one person who genuinely believes that John Watson is a far better human being than he actually is is Sherlock, who calls him the “bravest, kindest, and wisest human being (he has) ever had the good fortune of knowing”. Mary literally called John a dog. That’s decidedly not what he was aspiring to. The one time she says something genuine about John’s moral superiority over her, it’s worded as a complaint (”you don’t make it easy, do you… being so perfect”). It’s as close to a real compliment as Mary ever gets. Sherlock is the one who believes in John, who sees past the temper and the grumpiness to all of John’s sterling qualities of loyalty, kindness, courage, humour, and accepts him as he is in his everyday self, too. 

The post-mortem DVDs just don’t even make sense. How did Mary know she was going to die? Even if she suspected that one of the many enemies her life of professional criminality had made would come for her eventually, it seems impossible to avoid the conclusion that Mary was still, even beyond her death, doing everything in her power to drive a wedge between John and Sherlock, even to have Sherlock die. For her to finally assume credit for their friendship is an insult to the intelligence of the viewers. 

i’m scared i’m never going to find happiness again.
Even after everything you put me through, i still love you because how can you hate someone you once loved? but you do it, you hate me,
so maybe you never did love me.
but oh how it felt like you did
Even after all this time, you’re all i think about
and i find myself wondering what it would be like if we worked out, if we were still together
but timing is everything
and i guess you got bored of me, so you left.
Even after you promised you wouldn’t, you did.
you decided one day you don’t love me and you left.
And i tried so hard to make you fall for me, but why would you?
i don’t have anything to offer, i’m nothing special.
So why would you fall for me?
Everyone’s telling me to move on and that you’re not good for me, and yes i know you’re not
but i don’t wanna move on
i don’t wanna love anyone but you
we’ve been through so much together & you ended it, just like that.
honestly some nights i think about taking my life if it means ending the pain, i can’t bear it.
And i’m not gonna text you on your new number because you’ll leave me on read, you always leave me on read.
At least when i message you on this, it’s not been opened, and i can allow myself to think that if you were to open it, you’d tell me that you still love me & that you never stopped, & that i’m still your everything, that you missed me more than anything & that you really want to make this work, that you’re not gonna let me go, not again.
Honestly? i’m nothing without you
the time we were together, i depended on you too much, that now that you’re gone, i’m not living, i’m just alive.
I’m barely breathing, i feel as if i’m dying without you.
I’ve felt most happy when i was with you.
The thought that you’ll come back for me stops me from moving on.
I just need you by me in life, even as friends.
—  itsfinebye,  i still love you, even though i shouldn’t