because i had a panic attack earlier

Flying high: part 3

A/n: so there’s probably going to be one more part to this series and I’m guessing you guys don’t really like this idea as much as the other ones, because I’m getting less feedback about this one. Sorry, I’m an insecure demon. Hope you enjoy!
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Jason read the message and growled. He couldn’t believe that those assholes dared to send that video of them torturing you to your phone. You were curled up into a ball and were sobbing right next to him.

Jason tried to put his hand on your arm, hug you, anything to calm you down but you fought against him the whole time. “I won’t let you take me! Never again!” You cried over and over. By this time, Damian and Bruce had made it down to the cave.

Bruce tried to grab you but you screamed at the contact. It was obvious that you were having a panic attack. Bruce and Jason were trying to talk to you but it was like you couldn’t hear them.

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Quiet Celebration

Joe felt horrible.

Both in a literal and emotional sense.

He was meant to be going out with the boys and Jack to celebrate the younger Maynard hitting one million subscribers, a huge milestone worth celebrating, but he could barely keep his eyes open as he lay in his bed, the lights off and windows covered.

The panic attack he had had earlier in the day, the one that had crept up on him from nowhere and had him gasping for air and clawing at his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks, left him exhausted. There was no way he would be able to head out with the boys, even though he desperately wanted to go celebrate with them and Jack.

He was proud of the younger man, knowing how big of an accomplishment it was, and how excited Jack was about hitting that number, which meant that he was going to have to miss it was weighing heavily on Joe.


Knowing he couldn’t just not show up, he worked up enough energy to pull his phone towards him, squinting at the sudden brightness as he found Jack’s number, tapping on the screen to call before letting the phone fall back onto the bed, the ringing loud to his ears.

“Hey!” Jack’s excited voice cut through the ringing, and Joe felt himself smile at the happiness, “You on your way over?”

“Oh,” His own happiness faded quickly, replaced by guilt, “Uhm, actually…”

“Joe?” Jack’s tone was more subdued, and the background music faded away, “You’re still coming, right?”

“I’m sorry, Jack,” He sighed, curling onto his side, opening his eyes enough to look at his phone, “I’m not feeling good. I’d only drag everyone’s moods down.”

“Oh…”

“I want to come out, I do,” Joe told him quickly, the small burst taking more energy than he currently had, “I just…I can’t.”

“No, it’s fine. Everything alright?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Joe contemplated telling Jack about the panic attack earlier, because if he was honest, it had scared him. He had never felt like that before, having no control as his lungs burned and his vision blurred from the tears.

“Yeah,” He said instead, not wanting to further ruin Jack’s big night, “Probably just a small stomach bug. I really am sorry.”

“Joe, it’s fine. We were just going out to the club anyways.” But he could hear the shift in Jack’s voice, and he hated that he was the cause of it, “Feel better, okay? I’ll swing by tomorrow, and we can celebrate.”

“Okay. And hey, Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations. You deserve it.”

“Thanks.” Joe was glad to hear the smile return to the younger man’s voice, “Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

As soon as the call had ended, Joe finally succumbed to the exhaustion, letting his eyelids fall down as he drifted off to sleep.


“Joe?” Jack’s voice cut through his dream, and he blinked into the darkness of his room, his mind and body sluggish, trying to figure out if he was still dreaming, or if Jack was actually in his apartment.

The question was answered a moment later when Jack walked into his bedroom, dressed in clothes that were definitely not for going out to the club in.

“There you are,” The younger man sighed, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed, turning on one of the bedside lamps, “I’ve been calling you for nearly five minutes.”

“Sorry,” Joe mumbled, sitting up in bed as he dragged a hand across his face, “I was asleep.”

“Figured.”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be out.”

“Changed my mind,” Jack shrugged, his eyes on Joe, studying him, “Are you okay?”

“Like I said, probably just a stomach bug.”

“You don’t look sick, though.”

“I’m honestly fine, Jack, you should go out and celebrate.”

“But you won’t be there.” The younger man replied, blushing lightly, “And I wanted to celebrate with you.”

“Oh.” Joe blinked, “I really am sorry, then. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

“You didn’t!” Jack shook his head quickly, “I was worried though. Something sounded off in your voice. Are you sure you’re just sick?”

Joe wanted to say yes, so as to not worry the other man, but he found himself answering with a simple: “No.”

“What’s going on?”


And so Joe told Jack, about the panic attack, about how he felt, about how scared he had been, and how drained he felt. Everything came pouring out, and when his hand began to shake once again, Jack reached out, taking Joe’s in his, letting him know silently that it was okay.

By time Joe finished speaking, he felt a weight lifted on him, not having realized how just how scared the attack had left him earlier.

“Are you alright now?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Then how about you go back to sleep for a bit, and I’ll order us food. We can have a quiet celebration here instead.”

“That’s not what you want to do, Jack.” Joe protested weakly, but Jack shook his head.

“I wasn’t really feeling like going to the club anyways. This sounds better to me.”

“Alright,” Joe smiled softly at him, “As long as your sure.”

“Wouldn’t do it any other way.”

“Yeah, alright,” Joe snorted as Jack laughed.

“Be nice, or I’ll order you shit food.”

“I’m sure you will.” Joe rolled his eyes before laying back in bed, his body still tired.

“And Joe?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever feel another attack coming on, call me.” Jack told him, giving the hand in his a squeeze, “I’ll help talk you down.”

“Okay,” Joe nodded, “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Any time. Now get some sleep. I’ll wake you up in a bit for food.”

“What’re you going to do?” Joe mumbled, his eyes already drifting close again.

“I’ll find something. Don’t worry,” Jack replied quietly.

“M’kay.” Joe managed to get out before sleep took over once again, the warm hand in his comforting.

Evan in the Bathroom [Tree Bros Angst]

A bit of info/some notes of clarification before anyone wants to dive in: 

Background – This is an AU where Evan and Connor became friends (and eventually started dating) junior year. They’re both doing a lot better but they definitely still have their bad days. It comes out that Evan hasn’t taken his meds in awhile; naturally Heidi and Connor are worried about him so Heidi makes an appointment for him to see Dr. Sherman and Connor is there for emotional support. 

Dev is nothing more than a vehicle atm. He’s an extremely underdeveloped OC but I have a few ideas I might use depending on how well this fic goes over.

And obviously it was inspired by Michael in the Bathroom so.

Enjoy.

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veasuvi  asked:

I can tolerate fireworks as long as I know the loud noise is happening? Often times I'll just save relaxing and then suddenly it sounds like the earth is dying and I hate that?? Because it startles me and make some nervous

I hate it in general tbh!!! like it makes me chest tight and I get all flashbacky, which is Not Cool. someone set off six of those rows of fire crackers earlier and I had a panic attack bc of it xhemjfmdkfmf

A Miracle Would Happen — Joe Sugg

Request: Hi could you do a joe sugg imagine where the reader is pregnant and really scared because they think joe is gonna leave them. And yeah you can think of the rest. But thank youuu so much.

Summary: You’re pregnant with Joe Sugg’s baby, and you’re stressed because you have no idea how he’s going to react.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, and fluff at the end probably.

A/N: StressedT because I have been inactive but I’m back baby.

You let out a low groan, staring at the pregnancy test as you shut your eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest as you gripped the bathroom counter top, praying that you weren’t pregnant. Joe Sugg was currently your boyfriend, and although the two of you were totally in love, he had mentioned that he didn’t want kids any time soon—- besides, you two weren’t even married.

The timer on your phone went off, and you swallowed, knowing that it meant that the test was ready. Opening your eyes, you looked down at the test; seeing the bloody two pink lines.

“Shit.”

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When Panic Comes To Rise |Draco x Reader|

Request:  Can you do a draco x reader where the reader has a lot of anxiety and seems to always be stressed out (though she wasn’t always that bad), on the verge of breaking, and she cries at the littlest thing draco does because she’s so stressed? or like cries when he asks her whats wrong? It could be because of exams, because of something at home, or she had it all along but was bottling it up- its up to you! I just ask that you make draco really sweet and loving, with fluff xx thank you babeeee

A/N: I changed a few things and I didn’t make Draco as fluffy as I could’ve but I like where it went. Italics = memories/flashbacks. 

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety. 

Keep reading

Anxiety

I sat on the floor, my back leaning against the bed. My knees to my chest, I sobbed like the biggest baby. Michael was sitting on the chair just in front of me and he had a concern look on his face.

“I, I, I just don’t know what it’s going on,” I said as anxiety won over me again. “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this,” I added, not too sure if Michael could understand what I was saying through my tears. “I don’t even know what would make me feel better and I’m so confused.”

Michael leaned towards me, his elbows on his knees, he took my hands and I pushed them away.

“And I don’t want you here but I know you don’t want to leave me right now and everything-” I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence. I didn’t want Michael to see me like this.

My eyes were covered by my palms but I removed them so I could see Michael. He didn’t have a clue on what to do with me.

I felt so unsure and my body started to shake. Anxiety was the worst thing that had ever come into my life. Most of the time I didn’t know why made me so anxious, which was even more frustrating.

“And I feel like I’m gonna throw up, but I know I won’t,” I sobbed as I looked at Michael, looking vulnerable as heck. He bit his lip and my stomach hurt, knowing I had made him anxious because of my anxiety.

Later that night, after I had finally calmed down, I went in the living room to see my boyfriend on the couch. He looked at me with a small smile.

“I’m so sorry about earlier,” I said as I sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist casually. “It happens every now and then but usually I’m alone when I’m dealing with panic attacks.”

“Hey,” he said, making me look into his eyes. “I’ve got some pretty bad shit too. And you deal with it. So don’t worry.”

I looked away for a second before meeting his eyes again.

“Your anxiety doesn’t change anything in this relationship. So yeah it sucks, a lot, but don’t feel bad about it, okay?”

I placed my head in the crook of his neck and I instantly felt calmer. I didn’t want to talk about my anxiety any longer since I hated it so much. I focused on how truly amazing my boyfriend was and forgot about everything else.

“I love you,” he mumbled.

Masterlist

Jc Panic (Requested)

   

    “So this medication will help you. Now that doesn’t mean that you won’t ever get panic attacks again. They will just help you control them. And also take this. This is and injection that you inject into your thigh if you happen to get an attack that get too bad.” The doctor says all this as he gives you the medications and a few injections. Then you thank him and make your way out. 

    As you are in the car, you get a call from your boyfriend. You know you shouldn’t answer your phone as you drive, but you do it anyways. You answer and greet him, “Hey Jc.”

    On the other side, Jc says, “Hey. I was letting you know that me and the rest of the guys are having a movie night. You should come over. I miss you.”

    That makes you smile. “Okay. I’ll be on my way right now.”

    “I went to your house earlier, but you weren’t there. You told me that you’d be home all day.”

    You told Jc that before you made the appointment with the doctor. You didn’t tell him because you don’t want him to know about your panic attacks. You feel embarrassed about them and you think that’s something Jc doesn’t need to know. That’s why you got new medication. So you lie to him and say, “I had to go get my tires checked out on my car. But I’m out now so I’ll be on my way. Love you.”

    Jc says, “I love you,” back and then hangs up the phone. So now that you are in the clear, you drive to the O2L, excited to have movie night with Jc and them.

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    You get to the house and when you walk in, you see that the boys are getting a bunch of food ready. You find Jc in the kitchen making popcorn on the stove. You greet the rest of the boys and then walk up to Jc and say, “Hi babe.” Then he gives a warm hug and kiss. 

    Then he says, “Ha, look. I’m making real popcorn tonight!” Then the popcorn starts popping all crazy. You know this is going to be a fun night.

    Now, the food is all ready and you guys are all in the living room. Then Connor asks, “So what movie are we going to watch tonight?”

    Ricky answers with, “Ooo. Why don’t we watch a Pokemon movie?”

    Then Kian says, “No. That’s stupid. Let’s watch a real action movie like Transformers!”

    Ricky then yells back, “Pokemon is not stupid, Kian. Pokemon is life.”

    “Well to you it is, but we are not watching that tonight.”

    Then Ricky walks up to Kian who already has the Transformers DVD out. Ricky smacks it out of his hand. All the guys laugh and right now, it looks like they are just messing with each other. 

    Then Kian says, “Fine,” and then finds the Pokemon DVD, opens a window, and throws it out the back into the pool. You get a little tense.

    Ricky yells, “Kian!” Then he grabs one of the bowls of chips and throws it at him. Kian, no different, grabs another bowl of chips and throws it back. You try to tap your foot to keep you distracted from getting too nervous.

    Now, they are both just throwing all the food at each other while the rest of you just try to stay out of the way. Then they run out of food and so they are just yelling at each other, but Ricky doesn’t seem like he’s messing around anymore. He sounds like he’s actually mad. He gets even more madder because Kian is just laughing. It makes you more nervous. “You didn’t have to ruin my movie Kian!” Ricky yells.

    “Well no one wanted to watch it anyways!” Kian yells back.

    You are now kind of shaking as you don’t want to see them get mad at each other anymore. They more they scream, the more nervous you get.

    “You just don’t care about anyone else’s opinion!” Ricky yells.

    “Fine,” Kian says as he looks over to you, “Let’s get someone else’s opinion. (Y/N), what movie would you rather have watched?”

    You feel so stressed right now. It was stressful enough just watching them fight, but now you are apart of this and you don’t know if you can control it. You don’t know what to say, but you don’t want to choose a side either. “I don’t know.”

    “See Ricky, now you made (Y/N) nervous-”

    You then begin to shake uncontrollably that is quickly followed by you loosing your breath. You try to breath, but you feel like you aren’t getting any air. Then you feel Jc hold on to both of your shoulders. Then you feel everyone else around you. You hear things like, “Is she okay,” “What’s happening,” and, “Can she breath?!” You can’t control anything anymore. You fall off the couch and now you feel your whole body just shaking and you start to feel light headed as you still can’t breath. 

    Then you see Jc over you and you hear him scream, “Someone do something!" 

    Then you think that you hear Kian say, "Guys! I think she’s having a panic attack! My sister use to have those!”

    “Well then what do we do Kian?!” Jc sounds so desperate trying to help you. 

    As scared as you are, you know how to help yourself. You have one of the injections the doctor gave you in your pocket. It takes up everything you have to make your hand tap your jean pocket. It hurts so much. You feel like you are about to faint, but you can feel someone reach into your pocket and take out the needle. I'ts not until a few seconds later when you feel a sudden gush of oxygen enter your body all at once.You quickly sit up as you choke a little. Then you take in a deep breath and you start to feel better. You look forward and you see Jc in tears, holding the injection. Then he squeezes you as he wraps his arms around you.

    “Oh my God (Y/N)! I’m so glad you are okay!”

    As you are still trying to catch your breath you whisper, “It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

    Then Trevor asks, “Were you having a panic attack?”

    You confess, “Yeah.”

    Then Kian says, “My sister had injections like those too, but she had to get them prescribed.”

    “Babe, is this something you get often?” Jc asks.

    They know everything now. There’s no way you can lie anymore. “Yes. I’ve been living with panic attacks since I was seven. They’ve gotten kind of worse lately so I went to the doctor’s and he prescribed me those.”

    Jc doesn’t stop looking at you as one more tear falls down his face. “Babe, why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?”

    Then Ricky says, “(Y/N), I’m sorry. If we knew, me and Kian wouldn’t have done what we just did. We just didn’t know.”

    You feel bad for Ricky feeling so bad. “No, it’s okay. It’s my fault for not telling you guys. I just didn’t want to tell you Jc because I feel so embarrassed that I get nervous for every single little thing. And I just didn’t want you to worry.”

    Jc then links his lips with yours. “(Y/N), don’t feel embarrassed about this. It’s not your fault. It’s something that you have to live with, but it’s okay. Now that I know, I will always be there for you. We, will be here for you.”

    All the boys agree with Jc. You cry from all the love the guys are giving you. “Thank you.” Then you hug Jc. 

    Then Kian says, “Yeah. Don’t worry. Jc knows what he’s doing. He jabbed that needle into your thigh like it was HIS JOB. You’ll be fine.”

Hi taylorswift thank you so much for following me earlier this year on the 31st January it has literally changed my life, I still can’t believe that you chose to follow me and acknowledge my existence. I never thought I had the chance to get close to you and get to know you, because I live in Australia so thank you for that. Thank you being able to put a smile on my face even during the darkest moments of my life. I honestly don’t know what I would do without your music. It helps stop my panic attacks ( sometimes nothing works because I have a really bad problem with anxiety, but if your music doesn’t help, nothing else will). I will never be able to thank you again for helping me meet all of my wonderful swiftie friends I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. For the first time I actually feel like people like me and that I am part of a wonderful loving group. 

My 2 sisters and I are looking forward to seeing you when you come to Brisbane on December 5th. We are sitting in section C3, row R, seats 9-11. 

This is just over two weeks late and not written as well I had hoped, but happy belated birthday @fionaaa-chan! Though you deserve so, so much more than even my best writing, I hope you enjoy this little marichat present I wrote for you ^_^

Title: Thank You
Summary: Marinette made something to thank the hero for everything he had done for her, and he will not be outdone. (pre-reveal, no reveal)

“You have saved me once again Chat Noir. I don’t what I’d do without you.”

“I can’t help being your valiant knight, princess. I can’t resist your sweet charms.” Swiftly, he brought her wrist to his lips to place a gentle kiss.

Marinette gave a slightly nervous laugh, always unsure how to deal with the hero’s flirting as a civilian. She should seem amazed by his heroics, but it’s not quite the same when you’re a hero yourself. A hero whose Miraculous had run out almost immediately after a fight, and had gotten saved in her civilian form from a group of very obviously drunk men by the leather-clad hero.

Suddenly, she remembered the present she had been working on for him. She rushed inside, running down to her room.

“Princess?”

“Just wait for a minute Chat!” she called, grabbing the garment from the top of her desk. She gave it a quick look before rushing back upstairs with the sweater in her hand. Chat stood, leaning against the railing. He tilted his head as he saw her approach.

“What’s this?” he asked. Marinette smiled at him.

“I was working on this for you, Chat. To thank you for protecting our city.” She handed him the sweater, opening it for him to see. It was black with green paw prints lining the edges, and two grey and green stripes across the chest. She was not planning to tell him how she had gotten his measurements as Ladybug.

Dim light filtered up to the rooftop from the streets. The stars and moon shined from the sky. Yet still, Chat’s eyes were the brightest source of light. Marinette felt herself flush slightly under his stare, internally cursing the fact he could probably see her red cheeks with his night vision. His hands brushed hers as he lifted the sweater out of her hands, holding it against himself.

“I-I hope you like it.” she stammered out. Wait, hold on. Why am I stuttering? she thought.

“I love it,” he murmured, smile spreading across his face. He leaned in quickly and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, princess.”

“O-Of course,” she stuttered again. “Least I could do.” He stepped back, grinning at her, before leaping off her rooftop. She caught a glimpse of him holding the sweater against his torso before turning to go back inside.


Marinette woke up the next morning, her alarm blaring. She stood up groggily, turning it off. She congratulated herself for actually waking up on time. She changed and got ready for school, yawning every so often. She picked up her bag and walked downstairs, greeting her mother.

“Breakfast is on the table. I’m going downstairs to help your father. Thanks for waking up sweetie,” her mother giggled. Marinette pouted, going to the table to eat.

Walking to school, Marinette hummed lightly. She entered the building quickly, stumbling straight into her best friend.

“Morning!” she greeted Alya.

“Are you okay?!” Alya screamed. Marinette jumped.

“Of course, why?”

“Chat Noir said you had been in danger! What were you thinking being out so late?! Thank god he was there to save you!” her best friend scolded, shaking Marinette’s shoulders.

“That…that was…” Marinette said, startled. She pouted. “You don’t have room to talk and how did you know that anyway? When did you see Chat Noir?”

Alya gestured to the front of the hallway, where Chat Noir in the flesh stood, chatting amicably with all the students. Marinette’s jaw dropped as she turned back to her friend.

“What the hell is Chat Noir doing here? Was there an attack?” Panic seized her throat because she wasn’t there if there was an akuma to cleanse.

“Not an akuma, there was a situation earlier with a burglar. But he came in looking for you!”

Marinette rushed away from her friend and towards the hero. She did feel a bit angry, since he really didn’t have to tell everyone she had been in danger. Confusion, though, was her primary emotion.

“Ah, prin…Marinette! I wanted to check on you.” he said, noticing her approach.

“Thank you for the thought, but you should’ve known I was fine yesterday.” she responded suspiciously.

He laughed nervously. “You caught me…” he admitted. “Actually I wanted to thank you for the sweater. Here, turn around.”

The students gawked as Marinette’s eyes widened. She turned, then felt his hands gently wrap a necklace around her neck. She could feel herself blushing. Stupid cat. How is he making my cheeks so warm? I like Adrien. Adrien! Not Chat Noir!

She lightly held the pendant, looking at it and seeing a small silver cat. She turned back to Chat, a little mystified and surprised. He grinned. “So you can remember your knight in leather armor,” he whispered to her.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, the sweater was a thank you anyway. Why did you come here?“ she asked. "You could’ve come to my house or something.”

He raised an eyebrow with a familiar smirk. “Is that an invitation?”

She felt her flush darken. “Um…” she managed.

“I thought I’d drop by to the school anyway, and it was nice to see everyone. But if you want I could-”

“I definitely do not!” she yelped, unamused by the turn of the conversation. He chuckled.

“That’s too bad…I’ll see you around,” he winked before dashing off. Marinette wanted to scream at him, but managed to keep herself calm.

“You sure did a number on him,” Alya chortled, walking to Marinette and putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I did a…nothing happened!” Marinette groaned in response.

“Sure, Mari. Let’s go before you get yourself into even more ridiculous situations.”

“Alya…” she whined in response, rubbing her warm cheeks.


Marinette sat on her balcony, absent-mindedly touching the necklace adorning her neck. It was nice, to sit in the cool spring air and watch the clouds travel overhead. It was nice to think about things, or sometimes not think at all. She had even been talking with Tikki about strategy. A day for relaxing was a day to appreciate.

Though she was a still a bit confused about her feelings, knowing she loved Adrien, yet suddenly feeling shy around Chat, she wanted to let go of life for awhile. She suspected her surfacing feelings for the hero came from his having saved her, and didn’t want them to interfere with her professional relationship with him as Ladybug.

Sighing, she prevented herself from thinking further about it. Regardless of what the future would bring, she at least knew he’d always be her best friend.

She jumped slightly as she heard a thud behind her. “Good evening, princess! I thought I’d take you up on your offer.”

…a ridiculously adorable and unbelievable best friend.

Hope you enjoyed again! Thank you for being one of my best friends here!!!

~Phantom-chan

“Yo, so earlier i was trying to just relax and whatever and by relax i mean lighting up a fat ass bowl. I hate to admit this on my first day on a boat, but like I was sitting there in this random ass corner of the boat and i was sitting there and out of nowhere it hit me that i was in the middle of the ocean. how crazy is that? me, in the middle of the ocean. i had a miniature panic attack because i forgot how i got here. like a walking on water ordeal? am i jesus? At one point I was convinced I was on the Titanic and it was my job to warn those fools in the wheel room to slow their role down or we could all die. I mean can you imagine the amount of stress that could be on a person? I guess  eventually it was whatever because then I heard Hotline Bling and remembered what century I was in and was totally relieved. Anyways, moral of the story is that at least it wasn’t motion sickness that got me.”

"They're actors, you haven't even met them, you can't love them. You just like them a lot."

I’ve had my fair share of battles with depression, and let me tell you, it’s a living nightmare. To feel like nobody cares, that you don’t matter, it’s one of the worst feelings out there. Jared Padalecki is the first actor that I have ever personally come across, that made me feel like I was worth a damn. The Always Keep Fighting campaign has done amazing things, beyond amazing, to help people with the same situations. Jared himself is battling depression, and yet he never gives anyone anything but the utmost respect and kindness. He says things that make me believe in myself.

I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I’m always the outcast, the different one. And I always thought there was something wrong with me. Misha Collins was that kid. He was the one everyone cast away. Misha’s battled his own share of mental health, much like myself and others. He’s one of the most generous men I’ve ever seen, and he spends so much of his time and fame directed towards charity work. He makes me feel like being the different one isn’t a bad thing, it’s an amazing gift. And yet, he still doesn’t think he deserves the praise he gets. Misha Collins changed the way I think about myself.

I had a full blown panic attack earlier tonight. It was horrible and left me shuddering, afraid, and in tears. I didn’t know what to do and I felt so lost. Right now I’m curled up with a million blankets and pillows, listening to Jensen sing. Because it’s the only thing that got me to calm down, and it’s the only thing that will probably get me to sleep tonight. He’s amazingly talented in every single way, and yet he doesn’t think his singing abilities are as amazing as they are. Right now, his singing is keeping me sane. And his smile is making me feel safe and protected.

So don’t you dare tell me how I feel about these three brilliant men. Because you’re damn right I love them. I love them with every fibre in my being, because they help me to love myself.