because i felt like i had to do something

anonymous asked:

I'm afraid to do things by myself like go to the grocery store or mall. I'm okay to go to work because it's routine. But i don't go other places by myself bc I get scared people are looking at me or I stand out bc I look like I'm doing something weird or I look lost. I've gone to cvs and had to leave bc I felt like I was gonna cry. I want to go to the gym one town over from me- I have a membership but I'm to nervous to go on my own and have no friends. I want to be able to go but I can't.Advice?

This sounds like social anxiety babe…or something more severe than just being a little nervous to go out by yourself. I would tell someone how you’re feeling– talking to someone, a professional, might help you to figure out why you’re feeling this way and techniques to go about it.

I’ve already watched this scene over and over again and every time I’ve felt like I’ve missed something. I saw the arm rubbing immediately but it felt wrong to call it that. Now I know what Lukas is doing. Lukas isn’t just rubbing up and down Philip’s arm because he wants to. Lukas is caressing Philip’s arm and calming himself. At this point in the series and especially after this episode, everyone can see the impact the murders had on Lukas. The PTSD and fear of being outed consumes him. His only escape is being with Philip and knowing that he’s there. Watching this scene made me remember something Lukas said earlier when he was describing the visions he was seeing. I’m standing right behind him and I’m holding a frying pan but I can’t move. He shoots you. Guys, Lukas’ biggest fear isn’t being outed or ridiculed or even his father. His biggest fear is losing Philip. The one person who always comes back no matter how big he fucked up. The one person who not only understands him but also realizes that somethings can’t be understood and supports him anyway. The one person who loves him more than anything. And he has to remind himself that person is still sitting right beside him.


lit meme: 1/8 otps  —  will herondale and tessa gray, the infernal devices by cassandra clare

“Tess, Tess, Tessa.
Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.
Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.
I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.
And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.
You are not the last dream of my soul.
You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.
With hope at least,
Will Herondale”


I went to audition for a film, and it was baking hot. I was wearing something I couldn’t wear a bra with, so I was wearing a sticky bra. I started the audition, and luckily it was quite short. I heard a noise and felt a sensation that one of cups had fallen off because I was sweating so much. I was like “Holy cripe, what do I do?” - Daisy Ridley

Hello everyone! I’m sorry for taking like million years to post this but better late than never. First of all: I’m sorry for the lame header. I had no idea what I should use lol. I decided to make this follow forever because I recently reached 8K and I felt like I should do something to thank you. I’m so grateful for having amazing followers, you’re all such nice, kind, funny, talented, cute and pure human beings! Thanks for making my days a little better. 2016 was confusing, stressful and pretty hard sometimes but I hope 2017 will be better than this miserable year. I wish you the best, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I love you <3

A special mention to some adorable people I love: 
@thewincheters, @seyfrieds, @taeyieon, @baskervielle, @ohflint, @starksren, @philukas, @stormborn, @harley-quinn, @gryffindour, @hermicnes, @thrandiul, @cruvcio, @neils-josten, @jcnstark, @thehound, @sanssa <3 you are awesome and make me so happy! thanks for everything and sorry if I’m annoying sometimes or if I take a lifetime to reply messages lol.

BTW I’m so so sorry if I forgot someone, I follow too many blogs. If we are mutuals and you are not here: I appreciate you and I love you <3

Faves are bolded.

a - f

@aanathemaa, @abigailskanes, @achililes, @adamparrisih, @adorablecresta, @aeryastark, @aliciasalarcon, @aliciavikand, @alycia-careys, @alyciadubnamcarey, @ameliiapond, @anakinren, @anarkyn, @annbolevn, @anniescresta, @anthenia, @antighone, @aphrodihe, @argentnecklace, @argorns, @artemiskid, @arthemxs, @artieross, @aslyium, @asteriea, @audreyhornre, @babesargent, @bagginshield, @beallamy, @belows, @bensolcs, @bisexualbvffy, @blanchctt, @briennes, @brientarth, @brookdavis, @caitrionabalfe, @captaine-duckling, @cassianansdor, @cassianddor, @cassiesullivan, @cdwardmott, @cearsei, @celebrlan, @chershorowitz, @chloedeckar, @christineserik,  @clairelizabethfraser, @clairetemplc, @claraoswen, @collinslily, @crinumlilies, @cutsunflowers, @daariosnaharis, @daenerysjon, @daenerystargaryer, @daenqrys, @daisyridley,  @daniels-gillies, @dorbevnina, @dracosdormien, @drccula, @dsctorwho, @dzelos, @edphoes, @emiliaclakve, @emilvblunts, @emilythornes, @emstone, @erneraude, @eveenstar, @ezramller, @faeyries, @fairyisle, @fallstopieces, @feanory, @fecitysmoke, @fierceds, @frcdos, @fredweaselys, @frodobaggins

g - n

@gansaey, @ganseyblues, @ghosthills, @ginnys, @goldencerseii, @griezmam, @griffinskane, @gryffindro, @gwendoline, @harheyquinn, @harlayquinn, @harleyqunzel, @hayleykiyuko, @hcathledger, @hcneyduke, @hermionegrangern, @hermioneshour, @hermiunes, @ilvermornys, @inredlipstick, @inrticulate, @irnperio, @j-murphy, @jackdowson, @jeyre, @jimshalpert, @johnwvtson, @jons, @jsmesbsrnes, @julliettewarner, @kaitegecko, @kaladandeqar,  @kaladandrkar, @katewisnlet, @kathrynmckinnons, @khazbrekker, @killbilled, @kingrobb, @klngfili, @kneazles, @knighvtsofren, @kuriyakin, @kvngslayer, @kylcrvn, @kyloi, @kyloren, @ladysansa, @ladystarks, @leias, @leiorganas, @lennister,  @longclaws, @lucreziaborgiad, @lucyhoneychurch, @lupinnremus, @luthien-tinuviel, @lyanasnow, @lyannavstark, @lydiamatins, @manbunjon, @margotskarsgard, @maslanys, @maven-calore, @maxhardy, @melaniemartienz, @melssandre, @michelangehoe, @mikewheelrs, @moannas, @mountainkinq, @nancyswheelers, @narcissabllack, @neiljoslen, @neiljosteiin, @noorawiliam, @numenor 

o - z

@obartell, @oberynm, @odairannies@oswinwaled, @otheillo, @othellos, @ozeraways, @pathrochilles, @peachyjareth, @perksofbeingafanboy, @persrephone, @petercapaldis, @petuniaevans, @pheme, @phoebetonhkin, @phoebetonkins, @pinkmman, @poedamxron, @poesdemeron, @psychopierce, @pvedameron, @pynch, @raevnclaw, @ravcnsclaw, @ravnclaws, @rcnbweasley, @remuislupin, @rhivendell, @ricchardmadden, @richardpapan, @robbstvrk, @ronsweasley, @rosecutietyler, @rosedewson, @rosetylecr, @samuelclaflins, @sanellycarmen, @sansenerys, @scorpbius, @sculllys, @sdyneysage, @sebastivns, @shanewalsh, @shirehobbit, @silmarien, @skamandernewt, @smithsclara, @spncreids, @starlvrd, @stcrwar, @stonehart, @stormborn-blood, @stvvrogers, @sugarcresta, @summer-roberts, @targaryeins, @theongreyijoy, @tragedysins, @trssagray, @tylersjoscph, @tyrellen, @tyrionlannisler, @valramorghulis, @vanessaivess, @varous, @velmadinklev, @vikanderalicia, @westerors, @westerror, @whouffle, @winoncryder, @wondrvwoman, @zhirley

I have had my share of fandoms, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so intimately involved in one before Lazytown… there are strangers on here I care about, just because I know they love this show as much as I do, and I’ve never felt such joy at seeing someone I’ve never met be happy like I did when I saw Stefan Karl being just… an absolute ray of sunshine in that livestream.

We did this. We gave this to him. Joke about memes all you want, this is something special and nothing can ever take that away.

I love my villain memefriends <3 all of you

I’ll Fill Him In - Cassian Andor
  • Anonymous asked: Cassian seems like the kind of person who would not be into public displays of affection but would leave little things for you or do little tasks that you would forget otherwise or graze his fingers with yours when he’s sure no one would notice or nudges you with his forehead when he’s tired. Could you write something for that? I love him because he’s so reserved and sweet but so full of fire and passion for the things he truly cares about: the rebellion and, of course, you.
  • I really want to write more stuff like this. Sleepy affectionate Cassian is honestly adorable.

You felt terrible for the man sitting beside you. Cassian had just returned from a month-long mission and he looked like he hadn’t slept much for the duration of it, yet here he was, forced to sit through one of General Draven’s intelligence briefings. Meetings like these were just for show and always boring, and the general droned on and on about pieces of intelligence you already knew, or could infer from what you did know.

Poor Cassian was a trooper, though, sitting there with his head relatively high and feigning interest in whatever the general was saying. You knew he wasn’t really paying attention, though, because every once in a while, his thumb would ghost its way across your knuckles before returning to its place beside your own thumb. He had intertwined your hands not even five minutes into the meeting—which had greatly surprised you—and had moved his hand only once to adjust how he was sitting.

Cassian was not one for public displays of affection. He thought them tactless and a little confusing. Why, he argued would anyone want other people to see the details of their relationship with someone else? And, in some cases, you saw his point. There were a few couples on base that would just make out in the middle of corridors, on the launch pad, in the canteen, anywhere, really, and you didn’t particularly want or need to see any of it. But sometimes, all you wanted was a hug from him. Yet here he was, holding your hand, not only in public, but also in front of other officers. Granted, it was dark where you were sitting at the back of the amphitheater, but it was still monumental.

As General Draven continued to speak, you felt Cassian start to lean against you gently. Glancing up, you noticed that his eyelids were beginning to grow heavy, and he was having issues keeping them open. Smiling softly to yourself, you pulled his arm closer to you, and snuggled into his shoulder. At first, he glanced down at you with a bit of shock in his eyes, but soon, he understood what you were doing and allowed his cheek to rest against the crown of your head.

After a moment, he picked his head back up and you felt his lips pressing against your hair gently. “I love you.” Cassian’s voice was soft, and you could tell just how much he needed sleep from the grittiness in it.

You smiled up at him, rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand. “I know.” He smiled at that and soon, the pressure of his head resting against yours returned.

After a minute or two of sitting like that, you felt Cassian’s body relax significantly. His hand was loose in your grip, and his posture was less rigid. You could tell he was starting to drift to sleep. Gently, you brought his hand up to your lips, kissing his knuckles softly.

You heard General Draven clear his throat, and you glanced up, making eye contact with the senior officer.

“Yes, General?” you questioned evenly, attempting to keep your tone loud enough so that the general could hear you, but steady enough so as not to wake Cassian.

“Are you and the captain planning on paying attention any time soon, or should I start giving these briefings to a brick wall?”

“I’m paying attention, General. You were just telling us about the informants on Uyter.” The general nodded, acknowledging the fact that you were correct. “As for Captain Andor, he’s just gotten back from a long mission. I’ll fill him in later.


*in this series, Negan does not have any wives except you, but they are still at the sanctuary.

You were more than upset with Negan, not only had he paraded you around in front of your dad like some prize that he had won, he had killed two people from his group and taken one man back to the sanctuary with him. You didn’t like that he was exploiting your family, leaving them with two dead members and next to nothing. No food, guns or medical supplies, it wasn’t fair but you knew Negan had done it for you. The sanctuary was running out of painkillers and vitamins in the stock, because you had to take so many as pregnancy wasn’t treating you so well. You just felt bad that you were practically stealing them from your family, even if you weren’t doing it personally.

“Do I want you to in pain? No. Do I want something to happen to the baby or you? No. Do I want you to become ill? No. So, oh beautiful wife of mine, you will take that painkiller and be content as I go out and provide for you and our future child.”

You and Negan had been arguing quite a bit for the past few weeks, you hated the way he was treating your family. He knew it, but he couldn’t let up. If he did, they could fall out of line and with his baby on the way, that was the last thing he needed to be dealing with. You had been hanging out with a woman called Sherry who was married to Dwight, one of Negan’s top guys. She had been helping you throughout the pregnancy; having a woman to speak to about the baby was therapeutic. Unfortunately, Negan didn’t understand half the things you had to deal with, but Sherry could better recognize the struggles of being a mom in the apocalypse.

You had been explaining how bad your morning sickness was getting, asking if she knew of anything that could ease the pain when you saw Negan walking towards the barrier of the balcony, looking down at everyone. They began to get on to one knee to bow to him and the room went silent, all eyes on Negan, you not having bow with everyone else.  He had told you that as far as he was concerned you were equal to him and people should respect you as such, the members of the sanctuary already knew that, being Negan’s wife it was a given that they should hold you at the same place as Negan, above them all. 

You looked up at your husband, eyes widening when you saw who he had with him. You could see Carl beside him with his white cloth eye patch and dad’s sheriff hat. He looked directly at you, a small smile creeping up on his face before his eyes wandered to your stomach, the smile falling off his faster than it came on. He didn’t regard you as the enemy but he had to keep an eye on you, if Negan could persuade you to leave your whole family behind to marry him, he would use that power against you again.

“The saviors have gone out into the world, fought the dead and come back with some really good stuff.” Negan announced to the loyal followers, all still bowing down, showing respect to him. “Some of that stuff can be yours, if you work hard and play by the rules.” He briefly looked over at Carl, before turning back to the crowd. “Today, everybody gets fresh vegetables at dinner, no points needed.” Everyone began to murmur amongst themselves, while clapping at the announcement. Negan twisted around back to Carl, saying something inaudible before shouting. “As you were!” he said, walking away from the balcony. 

He looked around the crowd, locking eyes with you. He motioned you to come over to him, as Carl was trailing behind him. You followed behind Carl, to yours and Negan’s room. Negan lead you both into the room, before motioning Carl and you to sit. You sat next to Negan, faced towards Carl. You felt like letting all your emotions out and running over to give Carl a hug but you knew you couldn’t. “So, you two have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll let you have your time, 10, 20 minutes, I’ll see how I feel.” He patted your leg, before standing up and walking out of the room. 

You looked over at Carl, there was a large tension in the room, and you could both feel it. You were both fighting for different sides, even if you were family. “How’s dad?” you asked, in a quiet voice trying to start some sort of conversation. “How do you think he is? He knows you’re alive, married and pregnant to the man who’s taking everything from us Y/N?!” Carl began to get angry, he felt bad because it wasn’t your fault but it was your husband doing it. “I’ve tried Carl! I told him I didn’t want him taking stuff from you because you’re my family! He’s just worried and stressed because of the baby, he just wants me to have everything I need, and I can’t fault him for that! That is how a husband should treat his wife!” you told him, becoming frustrated with Carl. “I understand that he killed two of your group and I am sorry for that but I can’t sympathize with you! I didn’t know them, I never met them. Your group killed a hell of a lot more people from our group than Negan did. He only killed two, he could have killed more. He doesn’t enjoy killing people, Carl! He had to do it to show you all what happens if you don’t follow the rules.” You tried to explain, but Carl wasn’t having it. He huffed, looking away from you.

 “You have a baby sister. Mom died giving birth to her, I had to put a bullet in her head to stop her from turning. She’s a few months old.” You felt your eyes tearing up, a baby sister?

“Honey, what do you want from Santa this Christmas?” Your mother asked you, with your dad recording on a video camera. “A little brother or sister! So, I can play with them and sing them songs and take care of them!” you giggled, as your mother and father looked at each other. “Looks like we need to get busy, darlin’”

“Oh my god, a baby sister?” you asked, tears now freely running down your face. Carl nodded, shocked by your reaction. He didn’t think this would affect you so much. In all honesty, he thought Negan had turned you fully against them all, meaning that you wouldn’t care about Rick or himself.

The door slammed open, Negan entering with Lucille on his shoulder and a bottle of whisky in his other hand. “All caught up babe?” he asked, noticing the dried up tears on your rosy cheeks. “What did this little shit say to make you cry?” you sniffled, looking at Negan as he took his seat back next to you. He placed his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him, smirking at Carl. “He didn’t say anything, knock it off.” You told him, hoping he’d lay off Carl. “I can’t do this; it’s like talking to a birthday present! I gotta see what grandma got me, take that shit off!” Negan laughed, staring down Carl. 

He took off his hat, placing it at the side of him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to Carl.” You told him, before Negan shouted, pointing his finger at you. “Two men, Y/N! He shot two of my men dead, there has to be a punishment.” He turned back to Carl who was unwrapping the bandage from around his head; the patch came off, his long brown hair covering the open wound. He tucked his hair behind his ear, showing the large gaping wound to you and Negan. You gasped, putting a hand over your mouth, feeling the tears coming again. “Christ! That is disgusting; no wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean have you looked in the mirror, that is gross as hell! I can see your socket, can I touch it? Come on, can I touch it?” Negan taunted Carl, as he began to sniffle. You sobbed, getting up and walking over to Carl, pulling him into an embrace. “Get out Negan, you’ve over stepped your line.” You spat at your husband, disgusted by the way he spoke to your family. Negan’s face dropped, looking almost regretful. He knew he had gone over the limit and his woman was going to have his ass for it.

“Holy hell, kid. Look… I just, it’s easy to forget your… your just a kid. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything, I was just screwing around.” He sighed, looking up at you. You glared at him, pointing to the door. “Get out.” You demanded sternly, Negan knowing he was going to have to grovel to get himself out of this one. “Baby, I didn’t me-.” You shook your head at him. “If you didn’t mean it you wouldn’t have said it, Negan. Now, this is the last time I’m going to ask. Get out.” He got up from his seat, looking at you before walking back out of the room.

Carl realized the sort of power you held over Negan, not only by being his wife but carrying his baby. He knew it would be a valuable asset for the Alexandria group and decided to remember it for later.


Tess, Tess, Tessa.

Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.

Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.

I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.

And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.

You are not the last dream of my soul.

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.

With hope at least,
Will Herondale

↳ for @not-santaswift from your Wessa Net Secret Santa!

I was having a hard time, and now i’m not.

For as long as I’ve identified as a witch, I thought I had trouble with ‘real’ magic. Spells didn’t come easy to me, I felt like my offerings and altars were wrong, that I was making some mistake that no one ever spoke about because every one else knew what not to do. And I suppose I was, but not exactly how I thought I was.

I was already doing magic, but not how I thought I wanted to.

My magic isn’t always mason jars filled with herbs, crystal points polished like mirrors, or billowing skirts and capes.

My magic is standing in my back yard looking for acorns in jeans and a tee shirt. Baking cookies from boxed mix for Loki. Potions from tea, emojis sent to myself over kik for spells, drawing sigils with my tablet. The comfort of silent spirits while I go about my daily life.

My spells are song lyrics from the radio, a playlist altar for my deities, wearing stone jewelry to job interviews.

Home made tarot cards that I ask about birthday gifts, a Supernatural ouija board with a glow in the dark planchette, sigils inspired by my favorite shows.

I was never doing it wrong, I just didn’t know I was doing it right.

Some days I still wish I was able to work deep in the woods, twigs in my long hair, black taffeta trailing behind me like smoke, a raven familiar by my side as I brew my potions in a real cauldron.

But then my black cat with a deformed leg will hobble inside, rubbing his head on me, and I’ll draw a sigil on my arm in gel pen, listening to a song that inspires my intent. That’s where my magic is.


Behind the Scenes of Planet of the Dead - Part Three

Excerpts from “The Doctor’s Tale” by David Tennant, as told to Benjamin Cook in DWM (#407)

Coming back this year, for these Specials, felt a bit like returning to the day job after a summer holiday doing something else. I was worried that it might take a while to get back into it, because this is the longest break that I’ve had between bouts. Is it eight, nine months [since filming The Next Doctor, in April 2008]? Yes, it is. I went off and did this play [the Royal Shakespeare Company’s Hamlet], which I knew was going to be tough - and proved to be - but also was challenging and exciting, something I’m proud to have done. But the level of scrutiny that it got was surprising, and I’m sure that’s because of Doctor Who. It’s been a constant reminder that I’m part of it and that I’m coming back to it. It’s never felt like I’m that far away from it.

At the readthrough for Planet of the Dead, I found it quite tricky to get into the mindset again. I actually felt that I couldn’t remember the Doctor’s voice. But getting on set, putting on the costume and being surrounded by everyone, is like slipping back into something very familiar. It’s like coming home… he says, basking in the sun in Dubai! A welcome return, really. Most of the crew is back. Yeah, it’s the same team. But obviously none of the other actors are back… well, yet.

I don’t think the break has altered my feelings towards leaving after these Specials. In a way, it was sort of the beginning of the end. I got out of the routine of being here, which is, of course, what’s got to happen in a few weeks’ time. Then this will be gone for me. It’s good to remember that there’s a world outside the structure of a nine-month shooting schedule, and I still think I’ve made the right decision. The break didn’t make me regret it, but it did remind me how much I’ll miss Doctor Who and how much fun it is here. It’s made me more appreciative that this is my last stint and I’ve really got to enjoy every minute of it. This show is fun, and it always has been, and I will miss that - but it’s nice to leave while I still feel that way, or I’ll still be here when I’m 80.

The other parts of this photoset: [ one ] [ two ] [ three ]
[ Masterlist of all behind-the-scenes photosets ]

Thank you to everyone who shares set photos!

“While I was thinking about trying to exercise more, he uploaded a post on Facebook looking for people to learn Kung Fu together. Even though I didn’t know him, I sent a message, and that’s how we met.”
“What was your first impression of him?”
“To be honest, I had a prejudice against foreign guys who came to Korea. You know, something like, ‘These foreigners are just coming here because Korean girls are pretty…’ But this guy shattered that prejudice. He tells me things like how his own country’s economy isn’t doing very well but hopes that things will get better again. He diligently works out and really is a friend who lives his life sincerely. I felt bad that I ever had such a prejudice.”

“운동을 해볼까 하던 참에 페이스북에 이 친구가 쿵푸 배울 사람을 모집한다는 글을 올렸더라고요. 모르는 사람인데, 메시지해서 만나게 됐어요.”
“첫 인상은 어땠나요?”
“아주 솔직히 말하자면, 저는 한국에 오는 외국인 남성들에 대해 안 좋은 편견을 가지고 있었어요. 왜 그런 거 있잖아요. 한국인 여자들이 예쁘니까… 근데 이 친구가 많이 깨줬어요. 자기 나라 경제 사정이 조금 안 좋은데, 우리도 다시 잘 되었으면 좋겠다면서, 운동도 열심히 하고, 성실하게 사는 친구더라고요. 편견을 가지고 있었다는게 좀 미안했어요.”

SUNMOON POKEDDEX DAY 3 - Favourite Fairy Type: Comfey

This was a pretty tough category because my favourites of the non-legendary Alolan fairies are appointed in other slots. I would’ve drawn Morelull because I just love the concept but I’m going to draw it for another project later so I chose to do something different. I guess Comfey is pretty nice. I kinda like the concept plus it was quite interesting to design it. I had some ideas what to base it on but I decided to go with a fluffy moth since I felt like it would be most fitting to the concept and it felt more interesting than some small ambiguous fairy thing.

God Only Knows

Pairing: Sam x Reader 

Summary: God only knows what Sam would be without Y/N. 

Warnings: fluff with minimal angst, pregnant reader 

Words: 1,093

A/N: I’m obsessed with Michael Bublé’s cover of this song. I was in the middle of writing, and this song came on and I immediately felt like writing something for it. I was going to do it for Dean, but I think Sam matches this song better. 

If there is any mistakes in this, I apologise. I rushed it because I really want to finish the other one but I needed to write this one down before I forgot it. But here you go! Hope you enjoy x

Masterlist is here :) 

Originally posted by spn-mostly

Sam had expected to walk into the Bunker and be met with loud music that you often played when no one was around. He had expected to see you dancing around the library in nothing but one of his plaid shirts. He had expected to hear you scream his name in glee and run towards him in rushed excitement. 

But what he had never expected was to see you sitting on the edge of the bed with a packed bag beside you. He hadn’t expected to see your face wet with tears and pale with the thought of facing him. He hadn’t expected to see you stand up and look at him with the silent words he never wanted to hear from you. 

“I have to go,” you had told him before turning to grab your bag. You never had time to reach forward and grab it before Sam had rushed forward and pulled you against his chest. You wanted nothing more than to pull away and keep walking right out of the damned Bunker and away from the man you loved, but you just couldn’t.  

“Don’t leave me,” you were almost thankful that he was holding you tightly because if he weren’t, you would’ve collapsed to the floor due to your knees growing weak from the heavy weight you felt. Sam’s heart clenched at the sound of your whimper, the lump in his throat stopping him from saying more. 

It was when you dropped to your knees that he felt it. His hands desperately tried to hold you up but only gripped onto the small bump beneath your shirt. Sam dropped beside you and pulled you into his lap, his hands immediately making it way to your stomach. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought of you leaving him because of this. 

“How long have you’ve known?” He asked, “How far along are you?” 

“I’m four months but I’ve only known for two weeks,” you whispered, “I thought maybe you wouldn’t this, you wouldn’t love me anymore, so I thought I’d leave but I couldn’t. And then you came home and it was too late and I just-”

A loud sob left your mouth and it broke Sam’s heart. He knew how deep you were in your insecurities and it didn’t matter how many times he would tell you that you were beautiful or that he loved you with everything that he had, you’d never quite believe it. Believing was something you found difficult. 

“I may not always love you,” he begun, making you look up at him with tears in your eyes, “But long as there are stars above you, you never need to doubt it; I’ll make you so sure about it.” 

Sam held you close to him, your head resting on his chest, listening to the fast beat of his heart. You could tell he was panicking and it made you upset to think that you were the cause of it. His words to begin with had stung your heart, the thought of him not always loving you made your heart clench in pain. But the words he spoke afterwards reassured you that he was always going to love you and that there would be no reason for him not to love you. 

“If you should ever leave me, though life would still go on,” Sam spoke with so much care in his voice that it made his words burn into your skin, “Believe me, the world could show nothing to me. So what good would living do me?” 

His hands slid under your shirt and flattened across your stomach once again as he placed a kiss to the crown of your head. His thumb rubbed softly at the stretched skin and the action made you feel a flutter in your stomach. It made you tear up at the thought of the unborn baby being without his father. 

“God only knows what I’d be without you,” he whispered as you turned your head to look up at him. He had been crying but the small smile on his face told you that it wasn’t all sad tears. She smiled back softly, before leaning up and placing a tender kiss to his lips. It didn’t last long before a loud rumble left his chest and made music to your ears. 

“Why are you laughing?” You pulled back and raised your eyebrows at him.

“How the hell didn’t you know that you were pregnant?” 

“Well, for starters, I’m already fat so it isn’t really noticeable,” you rolled your eyes but smiled, “I eat like I’m eating for five so that didn’t give any clues and the fact that I didn’t have morning sickness concludes it all.”

“You’re not fat and is it bad that you haven’t gotten it?” 

“At first, I thought I was going to lose the baby. I remember reading that if you don’t get morning sickness, it means your hormones are low and you’re at a high risk of miscarriage,” you said, looking down at your belly, “but my ob-gyn said my hormone levels were good. I just happen to be able to tolerate the pregnancy a lot better than others dealing with their first pregnancy would. But he said it’s possible that I could get it later on in the pregnancy.” 

Sam nodded and kissed your temple, his hands still rubbing your belly. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be a dad. He knew that he would do anything to make sure that he was the greatest dad this kid could ever wish for. He was going to be the father that Sam needed when he was growing up. 

“I’m going to be a father,” Sam grinned and choked out another sob, “And you’re going to be the most brilliant, most beautiful mother out there.” 

You placed your hands over his and looked up at him again. Before, you wouldn’t think Sam was telling the truth, thinking he was talking absolute crap. But in that moment, with his chosen words, you believed that you could do anything. You believed that you were going to be a great mother. You believed that you were beautiful in his eyes. He was making you begin to believe and it startled you. 

“God only knows what I’d be without you,” you said back to him, making him smile and kiss you lovingly. He mumbled that he loved you against your lips and you chose to believe him. You felt his love and only hoped he could feel yours. 


Anonymous asked: Hi! You’re awesome and I have a request. Ok ok so imagine if after he’d been missing for a few years and you’d joined the BAU Gideon came back and shows up at Spencer’s door but you answer and he’s all shocked that spencer has a girlfriend and such

A/N: I don’t know, I just saw this and had a burst of inspiration so yeah. It’s short but hey, I wrote something so cool. Also I changed it so they’re married just because I felt like it.

I heard the doorbell ring and sighed as I got up from my cozy corner of the couch. I looked sadly at my warm mug of coffee as I set it down on the table. I had just settled down to read, something I rarely had time to do anymore. I had joined the BAU just after Spencer and I got married, with my skills as a linguist and psychologist both coming in handy on the team that my then-boyfriend had long since devoted his life to. I hadn’t gotten nearly enough time with him before. Some girls would have asked him to quit when things got serious, maybe settle into a teaching job or something. Not me. I knew he had a major passion for it, and I thought it would be better to join in on the passion than to ask him to give it up. And that’s exactly what I did.

We’d just been on a long case and had a day off. Spencer was still asleep in the upstairs master bedroom of our little townhouse, and I was resigned to dealing with the unknown guest on the other side of the door, sliding a bookmark into my novel. I peered through the peekhole.

The man on the other side looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place him. I opened the door and was immediately struck by his demeanor. A quiet confidence surrounded him, and he was obviously nonthreatening. I have a knack for being able to tell if someone was going to be troubling to me within the first few seconds, without a word exchanged. It serves me well.

“Hi,” I said. He looked up at me with kind eyes that showed serious hurt. I could see a lifetime in those dark eyes, and I wondered what stories this man had to tell.

“Hello,” he replied, holding out his hand. “I’m Jason Gideon.”

“Jason Gideon?” I repeated as I shook his hand. I rolled the name around in my head and my mouth, knowing it felt familiar on my tongue but not sure why. Like I had heard it long ago.
He nodded.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I was looking for Dr. Spencer Reid.”

I smiled.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” I told him. “I’m (Y/N) Reid.”

He looked confused.

“Are you related to Spencer?” Jason Gideon asked me. I smiled and held my left hand up to him.

“He’s my husband,” I replied. “I’m sorry, would you like to come in? I can get Spencer for you.”

He stood there, staring at me as if seeing me for the first time.

“Husband?” he repeated. His voice softened as he asked, “Spencer got married?”

“Yes, sir. Two years ago,” I told him. I knew there was a story here, likely a long one. “Please come in.”

He seemed to snap out of it, and followed me inside.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked, turning around to smile at him. “Coffee, tea, water?”

He shook his head.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” he said, and I watched him take in everything around him with a sweeping look. He seemed to soak it all in.

“I apologize,” he began, “for interrupting your morning. It looks like a peaceful one.”

I laughed.

“It’s quite alright,” I said. “I have gotten used to being interrupted on peaceful mornings. Working at the BAU does that to a person.”

“You work with Spencer?” he asked. Something about what I had just said seemed to pique his interest, more than just because I worked with my husband.

“Mmhmm,” I said. “It’s a great bunch of people,” I told him, gesturing for him to sit.

“I’m sorry, but how do you know Spencer?” I asked. Jason Gideon smiled softly at me.

“I don’t, anymore,” he said, a little sadly. “I am a former member of the team at the BAU.”

Suddenly, it hit me.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Jason Gideon, right. I knew I had heard your name. I think it was Emily who mentioned you, a while back.”

“Prentiss?” he said. “Is she still doing this job?”

I nodded.

“Oh, you probably want to see Spence,” I said.

“Spence?” he repeated. “JJ called him that, too.”

“She still does,” I told him.

“How is she?” he asked.

“Thriving. Mom to two little boys,” I replied as I stood to head upstairs. Gideon shook his head.

“I always knew she would be a good Mom,” he said.

“She is,” I replied.

“Hold on, let me grab Spencer,” I began.

“I-I don’t know how he’ll react, so maybe you, uh, shouldn’t tell him who’s here,” Gideon said. I studied him for a moment, and then nodded.

I woke Spencer, telling him only that he had a visitor.

As we headed downstairs, I almost ran into him as he stopped suddenly on the stairs, locking eyes with Gideon, who was now standing, facing us

“Spencer,” Gideon said.

“Gideon?” my husband whispered. There was a moment of silence. The next thing I knew, Spencer was in a hurry, and then he had embraced the man standing there in our living room. I could feel the emotion in the room, tangible and real.

“Look at you,” Gideon said, taking in everything about my Spencer as if he were a proud father. “You’ve grown up so much.”

“I actually haven’t really, I was an adult when we met so I haven’t really grown,” Spencer rambled.

The smile that my husband’s quirks brought to Gideon’s face made his eyes crinkle. I felt warm inside at the pleasant reaction, as opposed to the freaked-out one Spencer usually receives from his rambling.

“You got married, kid.”

“Oh, I did,” Spencer said proudly, turning to smile at me. “(Y/N), this is Gideon,” Spencer said unnecessarily. I came to stand next to him, my hand on his back.

“I know,” I said. “We talked a little bit.”

“She’s a good one, Reid,” Gideon said, nodding his head at me.

“I know,” Spencer replied, glancing down at me.

As the two of them settled into conversation, I watched with warmth in my heart, seeing and feeling how happy Spencer was to have Gideon in our home.

“While doing this business, I came across some friends from my hometown. They had no idea I was a street vendor. They thought I’d gone to Seoul, opened a real estate agency and a video store, and been doing well. Because they recognized me, I put on a smile and talked about this and that. But when I got home, I felt pitiful and distressed. From then on, even when I see someone I recognize, I act like I haven’t seen them and don’t say hi. Because this isn’t something that I wanted to be doing. And then I got old. I started my stall because I had no special skills but still had to eat to live. It’s been nearly 30 years since then.”

“장사하다가 고향 친구들 만난 적이 있거든. 친구들은 내가 노점상을 하는지 몰랐어. 서울 가서 복덕방하고 비디오 가게 해서 여전히 잘 나가는 줄로만 알았지. 친구들이 나를 알아봤으니까 억지로 웃으면서 이런 저런 이야기를 했는데, 집에 와서는 얼마나 창피하고 속상하던지. 나는 그 이후로 장사 하면서 아는 사람을 봐도 먼저 아는 척을 안 해. 내가 원래 하고 싶은 일이 아니었으니까. 나이는 들었지. 특별한 기술도 없고 먹고는 살아야 하니까 장사를 시작한 건데, 그게 벌써 30년이 넘었네.”

I can only bear to take anger,
My hand stitched bag threatening to tear
As I attempt to cram the edges with distrust.
It ripples,
The fabric,
As it stretches,
Tendons of thread yank valleys
Into the worn knit.

Anger is an ideology.
Regret is isolating and cold
But anger burns,
Kissing the skin of my fingers,
Charring the edges of my palm.
Yet the sun burns,
Coal burns,
Resistance burns,
Unapologetically so.

How can you tell me that
The way that my stomach sears
The way that my bones crisp
The way that my eyelids pool with heat
Is just an emotion?
This rage,
This smoldering energy,
Is more than a word.
Torridity is eternal.

—  a piece that i wrote that i think i will hold onto for a while
No Pictures (G Dragon x Reader)

P.S This was requested by an anon. This came out soooooo long, but I love it and I hope you do. Enjoy!


Jiyong always wanted to have a family, settle down and have kids with a good woman. It was like his dream, he had all those blessings but he didn’t really feel complete without that. He felt like something was missing.

He met you while he was staying at a hotel in USA. He was there for a concert, you were there because you were visiting your family, but your sisters were staying over at the house with their husbands and kids, you were used to being alone and having your own place and privacy so you stayed at a hotel. He saw you at the hotel’s gym, it was past midnight and he liked to go when it was empty, like you. You were a night owl and the different time zones were kicking your butt. When he walked in you were sitting down, wiping your face with a towel, when you stopped he finally could look at your face, you looked beautiful to him. You had those big almond shaped eyes, the big eyebrows and cheeks but you weren’t completely round, you had faded cheekbones, your big nose and those puffy lips. You were unsually beautiful, you weren’t the cutie with the button nose, you were stronger, he could tell by the way you looked at him, you were full of stregnth.

You knew who he was. You lived in Korea for a long time, everyone knew him and his band.You tried to ignore him and focus on your work out but his eyes never really left you, he took in every bit of information. How you put more pressure to your left leg that the right, porbably cause of an injury, how you whispered the number you were at a set when it started to get difficult.


He saw you again. You were walking out of your room, it was at the same haul with his, you smiled at him, a kind and wonderfull smile.


“Anyohaseyo (hello)”

You said back. he looked at you like an alien, it made you let out a giggle. A lot of people were very suprised that you spoke korean,  you grew up in an area that had a lot of asian immigrants, so since you were a toddler you hanged out with people of all ethnicities. You didn’t mind though, it gave you an open mind and free acess to delicious food.

“You speak korean?”

“I live in korea”

You replied. That brought a bigger smile on his face, if you lived in Korea that meant it was easier to come closer to you.


“Yes, I’m a kindergarden teacher”

That was even better. it showed to him how much you loved kids, which was true you always liked playing with kids, they were so innocent and pure.

“That’s amazing. So why are you here?”

“Family reunion, let me guess, you are here for a concert”

You said. he nodded as he let you walk in first at the elevator.

“Are you coming?”

“No, got better things to do”

You teased. He liked that, you were feisty he preffered women that had a bit of an attitude, it showed that they could stand up for themselfs

“Well then I guess I have to find another way to see you again”

During your dating they were a lot of things you both had to get over, plenty of times you tried to break up and take seperate ways, but you always ended up together,you were like magnets, no matter how far you went you would end up together.

Your relationship went through a lot. Having to hide it from the public, then a scandal came out that exposed you, which meant you basically had no privacy, the hate, the media talking trash. Jiyong didn’t know how you managed through it, you stood there stronger than ever, with your head held high and the fire in your eyes. He knew that there was no other woman like you, no one was as strong, as loving, as caring, as patient as you. That’s why one random night, when you layed next to him, he opened the drawer and took out a small box, he opened it and brought it in front of you, an amazing ring in it, that made your jaw drop to the ground and your eyes go wide.

“(Y/F/N) you are the woman of my dreams, no matter what we went through you turned the other cheek and stood tall, dancing your way through the fire. Will you marry me?”

You couldn’t speak, you just hugged him and kissed his lips, as the tears welled up in your eyes, it was the first time he ever saw you cry. He slowly placed the ring on your finger, admiring it.

“I love you”


The wedding was extravegant. Jiyong wanted this to be the most amzing wedding anyone ever saw, something that would shut the media, no one could say anything, it was perfect. Your beautiful mermaid dress, with a long veil that your two nieces held as you walked down the aisle. You got married in America, since you wanted it to be next to the beach, the sun was setting as you walked down the aisle, with a big smile and your dad by your side. Everyone you loved was there, supporting you and smilling to you, Jiyong teared up just by looking at you. No one could deny that you were the perfect couple, they could feel how much you loved eachother.

Your little boy quickly after. Jiyong wanted to have a kid as soon as possible, when you told him the knew he was happier than ever. He was with you through everything, he helped you at every single thing. He still could remember the feeling when he got the little boy in his arms, while you layed on the hospital bed asleep. The little man had his eyes closed, his tiny hands into fists, he was so tiny and innocent, he was the result of your love, a perfect combination of you and him. He let the tears run down as he promised to never let someone hurt him or you

Of course one kid wasn’t enough. When chanwoo turned one, you and Jiyong started trying for another one. A little girl this time came to your life, she was mesmerizing, Jiyong wanted to protect her through everything, from an injury to a heartbreak. Chanwoo fell in love with his little sister, even when she started crying at night, he was the first one to go to her room and slowly rock her bed, trying to calm her down, he wouldn’t go to bed until she went back to sleep. Little Areum had everyone protecting her

But of course the media weren’t as understanding. You tried to avoid public appearances with the kids, they were too small and innocent. You were very protective over them, no one could hurt them, you wouldn’t care who they were or what could they do, you would do anything for your kids.

The couldn’t stay in the house all the time. Jiyong had just come back from a tour and wanted to treat you all, Chanwoo loved to go to the park, and Jiyong wanted to take you out for some fresh air, you loved your kids but you were tired, he knew he had to do something to relax you.

At first no one paid attention to you. Chan woo runned around happily with Jiyong, while you played with 8 month old Areum who just started crawling. You started noticing a few paps, you quickly got up with Areum in your arms, going to Jiyong

“Baby, paps are here”

He turned and saw them. He huffed and looked back at you, he wasn’t going to let them win

“They will take a few pictures and then leave, we are not ruining our day because of them”

He reassured you, giving you a small peck on the lips, before your son looked at you and said ‘ew’ making you laugh. You decided to make the kids eat, Areum had just stopped breastfeeding, Jiyong fed her with her bottle, while you helped little Chanwoo eat.

The paps were getting more and more, they were starting to get closer and screaming. You started getting anxious, you didn’t want them to get near your children.

“Jiyong let’s just go”

You said. You weren’t taking no for an answer, when they saw you packing up they started yelling and getting even closer. Jiyong held little Areum in his arms, while you held Chanwoo’s arm

“(Y/N) did you lost the baby weight?”

“Are you having more kids?”

“Show us their faces”

The voices were demanding. Areum got scared and staryed crying, you were getting mad, as jiyong bounced her and gave her kisses trying to calm her down. Not only you got mad, but also Chanwoo was furious, a pap that got too close was met with an angry toddler, that pushed him back with all his power

“Leave, no pictures! my sister’s sad!”

He yelled. He was adorable, you got him up in your arms, trying to get to the car, but he just kept talking

“Bad people, I hate you! my sister is scared. I said no pictures”

You kissed your son’s head. When Areum was born you were scared he would get jealous, but no he was the happiest kid alive. He loved his little sister and protected her. He even made Jiyong look all over the room to make sure no monsters were there to scare her.

“Stop it!”

He said, while you got in the car. He went close to his sister who was slowly calming down and slowly pet her head, smilling at her

“It’s okay, don’t cry. We love you”

He said to her. You looked at them, feeling your eyes burn, seeing your little man loving his sister so much was so adorable and so rewarding, you did something right.

“No crying, they are gone”

he said and kissed her cheek. The little girl stopped crying and smiled at her older brother, you hugged your son and gave him a kiss

“You are such a good boy”

“They are bad people”

He said, reffering to the paps. You and Jiyong giggled at his adorable pout

“They are, but they won’t hurt you”

Originally posted by jiyongpng

Nesta’s Rage


So this is my first time ever writing smut. >//////<

It is 3am and I have not reread this, so I apologise if it doesn’t flow very well  or if there are mistakes, but I really wanted to do something for Nessian smut week! So I picked Day 3, Angry!sex, because come on!

I will probably reread tomorrow and edit, but I just wanted to post this now before I lost my nerve!


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