because i do what i want thor

2

Let’s Christmas! 🎄☃️

Inspired by: @book-boys-are-my-guilty-pleasure:

19. “I thought you said you knew how to wrap presents!”

“Well I never said I knew how to wrap them well!”

Request from @the008.

Words: 582
Warnings: none

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Do Not Anger Her

Requested by @justcallmecinammonMay I have a Loki x reader oneshot with an AU where Loki and Thor are on good terms and he takes Loki with him to visit reader to figure out something difficult for their mission. Her and Thor are good friends and when she meets Loki she’s sweet and openly invites him in. Thor warns Loki beforehand not to mess with her because it’s definitely best not to make her angry, but Loki’s like “I do what I want” and when he does he regrets it. Then afterwards he’s like “… sorry” and she’s okay with him and he falls for her. He learns she loves geckos and snakes and frogs. With a funny and fluffy ending plez? Reader is short and loves Hamilton the Musical. (This sounds like the most random shit ever and I apologize XD I’m getting over a bad cold and I think it went to my brain.) you can decide how he upset her and whether or not she gets quiet when angry or the opposite lol

Here you are, lovely!! I apologize for taking so long. I do not own Loki, Thor, Steve or Tony. They belong to Marvel. 

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, mentions of snakes and other reptiles and it’s a bit long (apparently I can’t write a Loki fic less than 1,000 words!) 

Pairings: Loki x fem!reader, Thor, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

“Thor, we need you to convince her to help us,” Steve told the Asgardian, who agreed. “We shall need her assistance in this endeavor.” Steve smiled and clapped Thor on the back while Loki simply stood by in confusion. There was a mission coming up and apparently, the Avengers needed your help.  "Whose assistance do we require?“  Thor turned to his brother with a bright grin. “We require the help of Lady Y/N.”

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i love the way that Loki hates Thor. so possessively. I can honestly picture so vivdly any scenario with Loki fuming at another aggressor that: 

“Thor is mine alone to torment, because only I have earned that right. It is my privilege to take Thor’s life, and only mine. and I will do in a manner I see fit, and only when the time is right for my personal agenda. because I do what I want and I do not acquiesce to the whims of lesser beings. especially regarding the life of my brother.”

and Thor is in the background listening to this villainous spiel and he gets all emotional because “he called me brother”. while the rest of the Avengers face-palm, because, really, Thor? really??

101 Futurama Sentence Starters

1. “Oh, crap! It’s a miracle!”

2. “Things don’t exist simply because you believe in them.”

3. “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

4. “Why don’t you just go to hell!”

5. “This is a cool way to die!”

6. “Every time I interfere, I only make things worse.”

7. “You’re better off solving your own problems.”

8. “Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.”

9. “This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened.”

10. “I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor.”

11. “I feel like I got mauled by Jesus.”

12. “I don’t believe that story for a second.”

13. “When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?”

14. “It’s very important that you never, ever tell anyone. Under any circumstances!”

15. “I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.”

16. “As if our lives weren’t miserable enough already.”

17. “Let the punishment commence.”

18. “I think I saved us somehow.”

19. “What is going on here?”

20. “Who the hell are you?”

21. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hurt you.”

22. “Isn’t there anything else you can tell me?”

23. “Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.”

24. “You must despise us.”

25. “This is the happiest moment of my life!”

26. “I just hope they like me.”

27. “You’re my hero.”

28. “Don’t you know anything about girls?”

29. “Well, I don’t remember any of that. But I don’t have the wherewithal to defend myself.”

30. “What have I done?”

31. “Hey, hey, we can all fight when we’re drunk.”

32. “That was incredible!”

33. “If I could feel anything right now, it would be pride.”

34. “I feel terrible about what happened.”

35. “If you’ll accept my apology, I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us.”

36. “No beer until you’ve finished your tequila!”

37. “I’m not familiar with the sort of thing I’m seeing.”

38. “Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of the sudden?”

39. “I’m afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face, no.”

40. “I’ve been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool.”

41. “I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.”

42. “I’m sorry for insulting your intellect. Your tiny, tiny intellect.”

43. “I may not be clever, but I have a good heart.”

44. “I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”

45. “I’m so angry! But also sad. But I’m still pretty angry. But … also sad.”

46. “I could eat. And fertilize.”

47. “My whole life I’ve been mad at him. And it wasn’t his fault.”

48. “I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.”

49. “Wait! Can I still change my mind?”

50. “That’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever done.”

51. “Admit it! You don’t care about the inner me at all!”

52. “I don’t know what to do! Do you think I should eat more butter?”

53. “I have everything I ever wanted. Money, wealth, riches.”

54. “I’m attracted to you as I’ve ever been!”

55. “In another city, we could be anyone we want.”

56. “Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay.”

57. “I like killing brave things.”

58. “I’ll need accomplices.”

59. “Get out! It’s not fun anymore! I want to be alone!”

60. “I tried to scream, but I barfed.”

61. “I’ve never been so moved. And I see no reason to begin now.”

62. “I am partied out.”

63. “I do love a man in uniform.”

64. “So he didn’t really want to marry me?”

65. “There’s never a cop around when you need one.”

66. “Funny thing about destiny. Sometimes fate has other plans.”

67. “I have no idea what’s going to happen next.”

68. “I’m a pathetic freak. My life is over.”

69. “I’ll never have another moment of happiness.”

70. “She has issues. I’m fine.”

71. “I don’t wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with.”

72. “I’m scared and great at sex!”

73. “I wish I could go with you, pal.”

74. “There’ll never be another like him.”

75. “I refuse to believe anyone is happy!”

76. “Thank you for being my hero.”

77. “I was going to ask you to marry me!”

78. “I deserve this, and more. Keep it coming.”

79. “Oh God, what have I done?”

80. “Don’t hug me, I’ve done a horrible thing!”

81. “For God’s sake, somebody teach me a lesson!”

82. “How was your day?”

83. “I find both genders supremely disappointing.”

84. “Never bet against me being stupid.”

85. “Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?

86. "Being human isn’t just about being happy.”

87. “Welll…Hello from the neck down.”

88. “Did you know there are more than two feelings?”

89. “I suppose I should know your name if I’m going to be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.”

90. “I guess I’m just feeling uneasy about us being so on-again off-again.”

91. “If it were up to me, we’d be on all the time.”

92. “If we were together, where would we be ten years from now.”

93. “It’s time for me to leave and make a fresh start.”

94. “It’s good to see you. Is it good to see me?”

95. “I just don’t get why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight!”

96. “You and I are through!”

97. “Of everyone I’ve ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.”

98. “You always say just the wrong thing in just the right way.”

99. “Everything will be okay so long as my parents don’t find out.”

100. “You’re just jealous, because you’ve never known true love!”

101. “This has gone too far!”

[I would like credit, please. Thank you!]

bettyneptune  asked:

If you don't mind me chiming in re: IW and Tony, I have a feeling that MCU is planning a send off for him, if not death (likely a sacrifice of some sort) then probably spiritual send off ala Logan since Iron Man is to MCU what Wolverine is to the Xmen; I'm hearing things about Doctor Strange taking his place as the center of the MCU (likely bc his movie made so much money and Marvel likes following the dollar,

Well…Dr Strange was a middling-ish nice hit for Marvel/Disney - I’m sure he’ll have another movie (because lord knows they keep giving Thor more movies, and the Strange movie made a little more than Thor, The Dark World and Ant-Man…enough to be a hit but far from being a blockbuster…) and he will be part of the ensemble MCU stuff. 

The rest of what you say is ALL dependent, as I mentioned, on what RDJ wants to do. If he wants to come back and be a featured or cameo player as the MCU develops over the next decade - which certainly would be canonical - then he will. If he wants out, they may write him out.  But rest assured Dr. Strange is not “going to take his place.” I’ve seen that speculation on comics sites, too, and it’s hilarious.  Um - because he’s another white guy with a goatee?  What does “taking his place” mean? Swapping white dude for white dude? Strange is a, well, strange outlier as a character - it’s hard to believe he would ever be at the “center” of the Marvel movie universe just because of how he operates. It would be much more likely that Black Panther would take Tony’s place, if anyone needed to do such a thing – not leastwise because Black Panther’s movie will likely blow Dr. Strange, Thor, Ant-Man and the Cap movies – except for “Civil War,” which played more like an Avengers movie and shouldn’t have been a “Cap movie” at all – out of the water… Black Panther is also a rich, smart tecchie just like Tony, except arguably more so.

Because I’m curious and want to encourage fandom discussion

In the first Thor film, what do you think Loki was about to say to his father before he got served with Odin’s “Hggggahhh” of Shut Up?

How do you think things might have turned out differently if Loki had been allowed to speak?

I have my own ideas but would love to hear yours. Because really, it could be anything.

I’m Yours

Pairing:  Thor x Reader

Warnings:  Some Bucktasha (Not sorry at all)

Key:  (Y/E/C) is your eye color, and as always, (Y/N) is your name.

Requested by:  @ twinkiecal  -  Can you please write a Thor Imagine with major fluff because there aren’t many Thor imagines out there

Author’s note:  I’ve been spending the past few days laying in bed all day not wanting to do anything with my life and wondering what I’m gonna do with 62 requests SO HEY let’s write some fluff who knows maybe it’ll help.  I’ll also decided to try kind of a new style and be more descriptive, let me know what you think.  Also, I hope this was enough fluff I was kinda blanking for a while and I hope what I came up with will suffice.

Originally posted by izazov

Originally posted by thunderbirdthor

Originally posted by peke-world

(Lord help my soul these gifs are terrible I’m so bad at this)

I’m Yours

“Make haste, my lady.  We’re late as it is.”  Thor reminded you with a low chuckle.

“Sorry!”  You replied quickly.

“Lightning boy is getting a little impatient.”  Natasha said with a smirk.

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What do you think?

Because I honestly feel like discussing an “older” movie fandom, I want to bring up Thor/Thor 2 for just one thing. My mom and I were watching Dark World and I said that I think Odin WOULD have killed Loki for his transgressions despite not having killed Thor for his because he did explicitly state the only reason he was still alive was because of Frieda. Mom said that sh e thinks Odin was saving face and never would have killed Loki. She thinks that he needed to be firm with Loki more so than with Thor because Loki directly opposed the throne and the like in a bid for power AND tried to conquer a foreign world where as Thor just tried to start an intergalactic war but he still loved his adopted son and was hoping to reform him.

This is like meme thing I’ve done with realpass!(on twitter)

Tony tells Thor not to come near him because he doesn’t want to be influenced by Thor’s drawing(or picture) style and Thor says I do what I want

Steve: “Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.”

Clint: “Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.”

Tony: “You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.”

Wanda: “I’ve got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?”

Thor: “Lets play “Titanic.” When I say “Iceberg!” you go down.”

Bruce: “Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under”

Sam: “I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!”

Natasha: “My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.”

Pietro: “What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!”

Vision: “Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?”

I just got done reading a couple of soulmark fics.  You know, that thing where the first thing your soulmate will say to you is written somewhere on your body.  It’s a pretty cool idea, and I was thinking about how it could be applied to Lokane.

It would be great, because Loki is already over a thousand years old when he meets Jane.  That means he could have gone centuries looking at his arm or his shoulder, wondering what the hell a ‘New York’ is and what he’s going to do that makes his soulmate want to avenge it. 

Thor and the W4 spend ages teasing him over how weird his soulmark is, until finally, the day comes when Thor brings Jane to Asgard, and without missing a beat, she walks right up to Loki, punches him, and says, ‘That was for New York!”

And then, everything just goes dead quiet.  Thor is in shock, Sif feels like maybe she should leave before the fight breaks out, and Loki is just like, ‘Seriously?  This tiny mortal woman is my soulmate?  Well, at least she’s pretty, and intelligent, and she was Thor’s which means I just stole her out from under his nose and he’s going to be so mad!  Awesome!  Best soulmate ever!’

Meanwhile, Jane is having a bit of a crisis, because she’s always figured that her soulmate must be either world famous or some kind of arrogant jerk if the first thing he ever says to her is that she’s already heard of him.  Of course, it has to be a coincidence that Loki just said those words.  There’s no way, if there really is a god up there, that he would be so cruel as to make a potential world conquering maniac her soulmate.  It simply can’t be so, but then he’s giving her that look and that smile and what she just said couldn’t possibly have been his soulmark, right?

Right?

Why does Thor look like he wants to cry?

Uh oh.

And while she’s freaking out, Loki is just standing there, whistling innocently and planning the honeymoon.

‘THOR: RAGNAROK’ WILL BE THE “MOST DIFFERENT” MARVEL MOVIE TO DATE!

That’s according to the movie’s director Taika Waititi. He said “It’s hard to say what the movie is because the plot has changed and the script has changed. It’s the most different Marvel movie to date and one of the biggest. I have the creative freedom to do what I want”.

The movie is said to be set up to 90% in the cosmos, feature a Thor-Hulk buddy element, possibly feature elements of the Planet Hulk storyline, have Hela as the main villain, feature Valkyrie, Skurge, and Grandmaster as three new characters, reveal that Loki is impersonating Odin, and allegedly feature the destruction of Asgard. “Most different” seems accurate. 

So I must be crazy....

Because I feel like I’m one of the only girls that understands that there is no such thing as “Lady Loki” or “Lady Thor”. What’s the point of genderbending these characters that have female counterparts. These Tumblr Tits are a part of this movie demographic that doesn’t do a bit of research in the comics. 

How do I know?

Instead of doing Lady Loki, why not be Enchantress? This woman’s goal is to have Thor all to herself. She is madly in love with him to the point where she is known for teaming up with Loki to get back at him. Hell she wants him because SHE”S FUCKED HIM! Tell me you wouldn’t become evil the second that fine piece of ass said he was good after a one night stand. 

What is that I hear? The bitching of just liking the character and the character’s costume? 

HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED AT ENCHANTRESS?

You’re wasting fabric and energy trying to make Loki “sexy” and “feminine” when you have this badass walking around begging to be cos-played. 

And as far as Thor goes, I swear on Odin’s Beard that I will rip out my hair if I see another “Lady Thor”. You wanna know how awesome Marvel is? They give you characters like Lady Sif

Also doing nothing but kicking ass and taking names, begging to be brought to life by our brunette cos-players out there who waste time on Loki. She was married to Thor and has some of the best outfits!

And let’s not even get started on Brunhilde.

.

Fucking Valkyrie. If you were to read her back story you would cry. This girl went through so much and is still trying to simply get back to her own body. Hell the reason why she was separated from her body at one point was because the aforementioned Enchantress, trapped her and stole her body to try and get the D from Thor. 

Also….

SHE’S BASICALLY A FEMALE THOR! 

Entrusted and employed by Odin, this blonde bombshell fights and looks good doing it. Instead of slapping a few tits on Thor, why not look this chick up and do something original? 

Asgardians aren’t like saiyans. We do get to see the women in their society and all of them kick ass. That is what Marvel is good at. Hell, I can honestly say that Marvel has more women than men. The X-men alone account for at least 40% of Marvel’s hero population. You can’t throw a stick in the Jean Grey School and not hit a woman with an interesting back story and fun personality.

All I am saying is that if you are a true Marvel fan, you would get your head out of the MCU’s asshole and spend all that cos-play money on characters that are diverse and interesting. Instead of perpetuating the idea that girls don’t read or research comics. Because that is exactly what you are doing when you call yourself, “Lady Insert-male-character-here”.

A real Marvel fan knows that they don’t have to genderbend a damn thing BECAUSE of how many awesome women there are in the 616 earth alone.

Sidenote. The current writer of the Thor comic run has stated that the new Thor is not “Thorita”, “Lady Thor” or even “Thor Girl”. She has now has the right to wield the Mighty Mjolnir because the previous Thor loss his right. (I would go into detail but this is the part where you do your damn homework). Fuck those clarifiers and add ons. She is Thor. She is called Thor.

If you Tumblr Tits were really about equality and were true Marvel fans, I would have seen this news all over my dash. I mean, why call yourself Ms. Doctor when you can just be a Doctor? Or is that not sexy enough for you girls?

“Your birthright was to die! As a child, cast out on a frozen rock.” = “You are here only because of the merciful person I am. I saved a dying child, you know? Not everyone would do that. You owe me everything. You’re supposed to do whatever  I please.”


“You’ll spend the rest of your days in the dungeons.” = “I want everyone to forget that King of Asgard ever made a mistake so I am putting you somewhere you won’t be seen.”

Originally posted by jswhitfield8

Prompt: “I think we should have another.”

Character: Thor

Warning: Mentions alcohol?


“I think we should have another!”

“No, Thor! You might be immune to our alcohol but i’m not do you want me to get alcohol poisoning?” You were practically shouting over the noise, why you’d decided it was a great idea to take Thor of all people to a night club you weren’t sure. But you’d done it and now he was slowly trying to get you drunk because he couldn’t and because he obviously didn’t understand your limitations when it came to alcohol.

“What is this alcohol poisoning?” 

“It’s where I drink too much alcohol and could die.” Or end up in hospital and be very very unwell. You didn’t really want to reach that point though so perhaps scaring Thor with the worst case scenario was the best option you had. 

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. So how about we go get coffee instead?” He liked coffee just as much, but it had the added bonus of not being something that might kill you if you drank a few cups. It just might effect how much you sleep.

WicDiv Challenge Day 14

Day 14: Least Favourite Male Character

It’s at times like this I wish I had a male character with an umlaut or another symbol in their name, so I could say that is my least favourite male character, just because it’s awkward to type.

(When writing books with a lot of unusual characters - UBER and anything in the THOR universes - I do a search and replace on words after I’ve written the whole thing. What do I most regret from my JIM run? Giving Hlokk and friends all the names with the umlauts. What was I thinking?)

So I’m left at a sort of loose end. A friend tells me that I better not choose myself, and part of me wanted to choose myself with a NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO. I joked that I would actually choose Jamie, but that is cruel, and it says favourite male character, and everyone knows Jamie doesn’t have any character. So I’m basically left with giving a serious answer, and trying to find an angle on it, and the best one I had was revealing a little too much about the book for my liking.

And then I found myself flicking through Stephanie’s pages for 1831 as I’m in the process of doing the lettering draft, and realise - hey! - I have a fellow for the job.

1831 Lucifer, inspired by Lord Byron, is a just a steaming pile of shit of a person.

Nuff said.

The Challenge.

GUILT {LOKI}

5. Guilt (One Word Prompt)

You couldn’t believe he could do something like that, at least not the Loki that you knew. How could he betray his brother like that, you knew he didn’t like him but they were still family.

“Why?” you ask. You needed to know.

He sighs, “For us. We could rule side by side.”

You gasp, “You did this because you wanted to rule? You betrayed your brother for the throne? I can’t believe you did that. The Loki I know would never do something like that.”

He looks at you with a blank expression. He never thought about what you would say, he should have known considering Thor was your best friend. He knew he had broken your trust. He felt guilt, something he never thought he would feel.

“I’m sorry” he says.

You sigh, “You know that’s not enough.”

4

Imagine fighting with your dad because he doesn’t want you to continue seeing your boyfriend Steve - requested by Anonymous


“Dad!” You shouted, clenching your fists. “I’m an adult, I can make my own choices.” Your blood was boiling and you could feel your face getting hot.

“You’re still my daughter,” Tony snapped. You and Steve had been dating for a few weeks and you finally decided to be forward about your relationship with you father. Needless to say, it wasn’t going well. Steve was currently standing behind you, his hand on your shoulder, while you and Tony yelled back and forth. “I don’t approve,” he said crossing his arms across his chest. 

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[Imagine] Avengers x Reader

Imagine that you are crying and Avengers sees you like this. The reason why you are crying is that you have a broken heart.


Pietro Maximoff / Quicksilver: “What? I’m going to beat up this man! He needs some lesson how to treat with beautiful girls like you!”

Tony Stark / Iron Man: “Hey girl! You can’t cry because of him. There is a lot of perfect men for you. For example me.”

Thor: “Don’t cry, young lady. Do you want to meet my HAMMER for better mood?”

Steve Rogers / Captain America: “Ma’am! I will treat with you better, trust me. I’ll take care of you. At your service!“

Bruce Banner / Hulk: “I think it’s too pity to see such beautiful girl crying.”

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow: “Oh, just don’t tell me that you are crying because of this idiot. Be sure that we are going to kick his ass!”

Clint Barton / Hawkeye: “Fuck him! We are going to party!”

Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch: “Just tell me where he is!”

2

Firstly, you shouldn’t need Google Translate open on the side for this story. The lines in other languages aren’t vital to the plot and I didn’t want to translate them for you because you should be in the same boat as the reader - the point is that you shouldn’t understand everything. But anyway, here is my attempt at writing the multilingual request made by sherlock-yer​ and thoroughly anticipated also by nerd-kat–hell-yes​. I had to cut Thor out of this one I’m afraid because I wanted there to be as much of the actual languages as possible and other than an amazing guide book that someone created on AO3 (check it out - it’s hilarious), I couldn’t find anything on the origins of the language. Plus I felt like it would’ve made the answer too easy - that answer being “Loki no.” Either way, I hope I’ve done a decent job of it, let me know what you think. (and yes, I do speak Spanish - check me out). Enjoy my darlings!

Prompt: See original post.

One-Shot: Los Idiomas

“Care to have guess?” Bruce said, gesturing to your friends. You shook your head, mouth wide open and voice fleeing. The amount of languages filling the air was ridiculous. Everybody was thoroughly confused and as a result, rambling more than usual, which didn’t help the situation. Neither you nor Bruce had any clue what was going on – a thought that unsettled you a little more than the current predicament.
“I have absolutely no idea…”

It was definitely first languages that they were speaking, you could work out that much. You were born in Wales but raised to speak English as a first language on account of your English father, thus you made the deduction. Bruce, who was born in Ohio, also was spared.
“The twins no doubt are suffering the same effects.” You muttered. Bruce was stood by your side, watching in awe as your oblivious teammates continued to blather on in fear. The Maximoff twins were in their room.
“I doubt they’ll notice if they’re just talking to each other.”

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