For Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day, here are my top 10 fics that are still available on AO3. There are a couple favs that have been since taken down (Lost Souls by lastknownwriter I believe is down for publication? That would have definitely made the list!) so I’m only adding ones you can go read RIGHT NOW! MAKE SURE TO LEAVE COMMENTS on all your favorite fic today!!!!
(In absolutely no order, because narrowing down to 10 was hard enough.) (Well fuck, there’s 11. Oh well!)
Apres (canon) thevioletcaptain - The angels fall. Cas lands in France. Dean comes to get him. The fluffiest fluff to ever have fluffed, WHILE being amazingly in character. Not easy to do. If you held a gun to my head and made me pick top 3, this would be there. (If you made me pick #1 I’d probably die tbh.)
Clean Air (au) anactorya - Holy shit. This is a BOOK. It’s based off a book I haven’t read (but now want to) so don’t let that stop you. It is completely self contained. Post apocalyptic (but not endverse) community lives in an underground silo. They are told they are the only humans left alive on an uninhabitable planet. Until Dean intercepts a radio signal from Cas, who is in another silo. Intrigue, world building, CB radio Destiel - UGH just go read it.
His Fucking Kids Verse (canon) subjecttochange8
- Emma lives, and Claire ends up with Dean & Cas (long before she showed back up in the show!). They retire from hunting to raise the two teens, who are complicated and surly and angsty and wonderful. I really can’t do this verse justice, it’s one of the best things you’ll read in this fandom so get to it.
Pie Without Plot (canon) apocalypse-patisserie & robotmango - Ok, it’s on every rec list ever, but there’s a reason for that. The boys take a break from hunting to run a bakery, for Reasons. AMAZING development for all three of them. Hilarious, heart wrenching, fluffy in-character awesomesauce. While you’re there, read all of Major & Orange’s back catalogs - you won’t be disappointed.
rvr ro11435 (au) @ferritin4
- Dean & Cas work for NASA (but not in space). The story is from Cas’s POV, and he is the SNARKIEST GRUMPIEST POTATO I LOVE HIM.
The Breath of All Things (au) @twentyonelizards - Dean was paralyzed in a car accident, and is full to the brim with self loathing, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Cas starts volunteering at the care home where Dean is living. Mind the tags, but it has a happy ending (without anyone “fixing” Dean’s disability because that would be gross). One of those fics that sticks with you.
The Story of You and Me (canon) the-diggler - Dean wakes up 2 years in the future, a journal in his handwriting telling him that he has frequent amnesia, he lives in Bobby’s renovated house with Sam & Cas, and oh yeah … him and Cas are a thing. Domestic adorableness with a twist. This fic will tear you apart and put you back together. HAPPY ENDING I promise, even through some angst.
What I Need (au)
- Dean is a surgical tech, and he’s just been assigned to the biggest asshole of a surgeon (Cas of course!). Enemies to lovers, hospital!Destiel, amazing banter and characterizations. SO much snark and sexual tension, omg!
Every Living Thing (canon) Askance - Wow. This is. Wow. Talk about sticking with you, you’ll never get this fic out of your head. It’s literally the end of the world. The boys try for a while to stop it, but have to concede that there is nothing more they can do. They hole up in an abandoned firehouse while the last Great Flood destroys the world. Angst, hurt/comfort, finding each other in the darkest times, there is great Sam development as well. AMBIGUOUS ENDING - you can read it as hopeful, or as MCD, so if that bothers you you should steer clear.
Every Man’s Got a Right (canon) MollyC - Endverse-not-really-endverse! I’ve seen a few fic with this premise, but this is my favorite. Instead of dying, Endverse!Cas gets sent back in time to the Wincheseters circa Season 2. We follow them as they go through the cases & plot points leading up to the apocalypse, with the added bonus of Endverse Cas along for the ride. I *devoured* this fic! This should have much more kudos than it does, but it was wrongly tagged MCD for a while.
Just More of the Same Verse (canon) outpastthemoat - This fic will make you ache. Cas falls, and is completely overwhelmed and nonfunctional. This is the long process of Cas & Dean figuring out who they each are now, and who & what they are together. This will pierce your very soul, but definitely in a good way. Hurt/comfort of the absolute best kind.
(Honorable Mention - Hands, From Which All Things Are Built (canon). Of the 5000 fic written between S8 & 9, this is arguably the best. Not making my “official” list because PWP is up there already, but this fic singlehandedly made texting!Destiel EVERYONE’S jam. You better not pass it up because it’s rated T. I will find you and I will end you.)
“Can you tell me why we’re cursed with this feeling
that feels so natural and good? When we’re together, God seems to sit in the
room with us. And when you’re away, I manage to forget you. And then … one
touch of your hand and God comes rushing back.”
“God or the
“Whatever it is
— Lucrezia and Cesare Borgia,
It had been two weeks since she’d seen him. Fourteen
days. Three hundred and thirty-six hours. And Bonnie felt each hour, each
minute, each second in her bones. The absence of his touch, his lips … it
terrorized her with yearning, agitated her beyond rationality that she felt
like she was going stir crazy within her own body. She’d been the one who
called it off, determined that staying away would be good for her, clarify her
mind, bring her back to who she was before she let herself be taken over by
lustful hatred and vicious arousal. Ending things with Kai was meant to stop
her self-loathing not increase it by colonizing her mind with longing for his
rough sincerity and smug expertise. For the longest time she never understood
the term ‘burning desire’, not really anyway. That is until she met him. Until
she knew what it felt like to claim him, have him try and claim her. Until she
experienced how physically devastating it was to refrain from him for even a
day much less a fortnight. And now she was out of her mind with need, bereft
and craving and it made her sick; unadulterated disgust tore through her with
such violence it nearly drove Bonnie to tears. But it wasn’t enough to stamp
out the ache she had for Kai, for what he unleashed in her and Bonnie knew that
if she stayed in her dorm room she’d do something stupid, something
And so she walked.
No phone, no car keys, she walked.
And walked some more. The movement helped her somehow, alleviated the sensation
that overcame her, the sensation like she was about to spontaneously combust.
And after a while she found herself outside the Salvatore Mansion — something
about it always called to her like a beacon or a haven and more times than not
she ended up there when she needed guidance, which was odd since she’d been met
with a lot of destruction there in the past; destruction of her body, of her
psyche and most recently, of her soul. The only difference was the last one had
been willing and it had been gratifying and it had been with Kai. Well, the
others had been with Kai too and that was also the problem; being with him
before being with him had eroded most
of who she had been before encountering him and it hardened her with menace,
numbed her emotion and now being with him,
the same man who’d done this to her, was the only way she could feel anything
with passion, with intensity and that meant revelling in the menace he’d
amplified in her when he’d attempted to destroy her body and when he’d almost
destroyed her psyche. And that was something unique to him. Bonnie had been
picked apart before, picked apart by enemies of her friends, friends of her
friends, lovers of her friends and her friends themselves but none of them had
also been the glue that helped put her back together again. For some Godforsaken
reason, Kai was both. And that was why she’d ended it and that was why she’d
found herself in front of the Salvatore Mansion.
She’d go in. It looked quiet.
Space and silence and solitude were all the things she needed right now. What
she didn’t know was that while the house was certainly quiet, it wasn’t
uninhabited and Elena Gilbert watched from a second storey window as she ambled
up the driveway to the front doors.
Elena was in Stefan’s room. It felt like ages since
she’d been inside it — well no, it felt like ages since she’d been
comfortable in it. The summer he’d left, the summer she’d chosen Damon, she found
herself in this room more times than she’d expected. Damon would be sleeping
and Jeremy would be out and she’d come in here during these quiet moments to …
remember; to pay silent vigil to the relationship she’d decided she’d outgrown
in favour for the one she’d been in at the time.
It was a
strange practice; she wasn’t so naïve not to think so, but even when she and
Damon buried themselves in each other during the day and again in the evening,
Stefan was there, in the very back of Elena’s mind, in the farthest corner of
her heart, in the deepest pit of her stomach. She dared not utter a single word
of it to Damon but Stefan was a part of her, a fundamental part of her, and she
needed to feel close to him, needed to feel like he didn’t hate her, and that
was what the nights were for — nights of remembrance — until the sun came
up because then the daylight belonged to Damon, to immediacy, to the lust
there was no sun and she didn’t want the daylight to come either — all she
wanted was to remember, relive, or well, live with him again, be with Stefan again. If she was honest
with herself, it wasn’t a desire that really went away but rather one that grew
smaller and smaller the more serious she and Damon became and then it grew so
small she thought it disappeared for good. Then she’d see him with someone
else; see him laugh with another woman, touch another woman, hear about him
sleeping with another woman and it all came back in one painful and intense
rush. She’d be overtaken with possessiveness, indignant jealousy, and the urge
to yell, He’s mine! would itch at her
lips until she remembered that he wasn’t actually hers, not anymore, and then
that realization, the realization that someone else would experience what it
was to be loved by Stefan Salvatore filled her with profound sadness, which she
had to force to the side because she had chosen his brother.
And choosing Damon had been …
well, she didn’t regret it because she had cared for him, she had loved him and
she’d needed to give into that or the world’s worst question — what could’ve
been — would’ve haunted her, possibly forever. What she hadn’t realized when
she’d chosen him, though, was that what she felt was never in wholeness, it was
half-love and thin devotion; it was the strong desire to make things work but
the loud absence of fulfilment, nourishment … the absence of deep-rooted
tranquility. That was why, two or so months ago, when the relationship had
tried to burn itself out for the umpteenth time, Elena had allowed it to and
had left Damon with an affectionate peck on the lips and didn’t look back.
Stefan had started checking up on her, then; at first in an attempt to convince
her to yet again revive her relationship with Damon but soon after it was just
to spend time with her. And Elena felt it, she’d felt it immediately much like
when she’d first met him; she felt it in the ease with which she spoke to him
about her doubts, about her dreams; she felt it in the warmth that blanketed
her body when he smiled at her, when he gazed at her; she felt it in the relief
that flooded her insides whenever she saw him walking toward her…deep-rooted
tranquility; what she truly wanted.
couldn’t have it; not after everything she’d been through with each Salvatore.
It would be too cruel to pursue. Elena Gilbert had, beyond any doubt, her final
choice and she couldn’t make it. The irony devastated her to the point of
physical numbness; she felt empty, devoid.
The only comfort she managed to feel, she felt in Stefan’s bedroom so she
spent as much time there as she could, immersing herself in the memories their
relationship had left behind. She’d been in the middle of thinking back to the
night three years before when he’d urged her to speak about feeling something
for Damon, when they’d ended up admitting to each other that they would always,
no matter what, love one another and that was when she saw Bonnie out the
window, heading into the house.
curiosity and excitement, Elena hurried out of the bedroom and rushed down the
stairs so that she was on the bottom step when the door opened. Bonnie stood in
the foyer, her eyebrows raised.
It was impossible for Stefan to stay in the mansion
for one more night; ghosts he’d thought had been long put to rest had
resurfaced in the past few months and plagued the walls and floors and
furniture with their presence. Everywhere he turned in that house, he saw her
or heard distant echoes of her giggle, that knee-weakening giggle; he couldn’t
even bear to sleep in his bed anymore. Each time he did he was wrecked with
memories of how it was to feel her, really feel
her, to have her beneath him and upon him and beside him and that killed
him more than anything else.
So he was at a
bar and he was drinking. But he was far from drunk. Unfortunately.
always known that he would always love Elena. He’d known it from the moment he
saw her; he’d known it when she’d chosen Damon and he still couldn’t hate her;
he’d known it from how fiercely he’d wished for her to be happy, to be
fulfilled even if it wasn’t with him, even if seeing her with someone else
would absolutely, utterly tear him apart because that was better than her
wallowing in sorrow for the rest of her life. Even before meeting her, he
couldn’t bear seeing her sad. But after a while, that everlasting love had
faded into an abstract concept rather than a drive that ruled him and its
vagueness had allowed him to move on, to pursue other relationships and feel
deeply about other women…to feel deeply about Caroline.
bothered Stefan that what he’d had with Caroline had been nothing like what he
and Elena shared, in fact he’d enjoyed that; enjoyed the way Caroline’s quirks
both amused and annoyed him, enjoyed the feel of her blonde curls between his
fingers, enjoyed that when he’d needed someone to talk to, to vent to, to freak
out to, she was the person he thought of first. He’d loved her. Really, he’d
loved her. And he still cherished her, the bond they’d formed with each other.
It just wasn’t enough. He’d realized it six months ago that what he and
Caroline felt for one another was, for the most part, appreciation and
gratitude; things that made him smile, that made their time together pleasant
but that fell short of truly moving him, of thrilling him and steadying him at
the same time, of making life itself a more enriched experience.
He’d only felt
that once in his life. He’d only felt that when he’d been with Elena. And
Stefan had come to terms with that, accepted that his time to experience the full
effect of true, Honest to God Love, had come and it had gone and that he would
never feel it again; it was OK because at least he’d been lucky enough to
experience it at all. He’d ended things with Caroline because he couldn’t be
that guy, that guy who stayed with a woman he loved as much as he could but
still not with his entire heart, and then he decided to leave what he felt for
Elena in the past; a significant memory — the most significant memory.
didn’t think that it wouldn’t stay a memory; that the well-healed scab of their
relationship would rip open afresh into a gaping wound that agonized him. But
Elena left Damon and Stefan found himself back in her life in a way he hadn’t
been since she’d started dating his brother and since he’d started dating her
best friend. And he felt it. He felt it with such intensity and resoluteness
and familiarity; he felt it in the way he flushed with longing whenever she
said his name; he felt it in the calm that stilled his body whenever she looked
him directly in the eye; he felt it in the pure joy that tickled his chest
whenever he made her laugh…true, Honest to God Love. And now he was tormented
with it, with memories of when he was able to freely feel that love, when that
love was wanted, when she wanted him;
now that love had driven him out of his own house because all he saw when he
was in it were the times he expressed it to her and she reciprocated.
the last of his whiskey; he’d had enough drinks that he was becoming morose and
he was morose all on his own, he didn’t need liquid help. He paid his tab and
slipped off the barstool, putting on his jacket. He’d wallow and walk. At least
then he’d be active.
Kai was in a back alley, outside of a bar, and he was
covered in blood; it speckled his shirt in messy red splatters and pooled from
his mouth in thick, oozing ribbons. The veins beneath his eyes were dark and
raised and his eyes themselves were murky with gluttony. He’d fed for the tenth
time that night and for the … hundredth, no second hundredth time in two weeks
— his fangs stained scarlet from his conquests. The amount of blood he’d
consumed in fourteen days was inconceivable, more than enough to put a ripper
to shame; he tore jugulars and ripped apart veins and drank and drank and drank
until he passed out or regurgitated it all back up only to move on to somewhere
else so he could drink and kill and feed some more and yet … and yet …
And yet he
couldn’t free himself from thinking about her, from hungeringfor her. Kai gritted his teeth and let
out a frustrated wail that tore through the air with raw savagery; would he never be able to escape her?
She’d left, ended things, and Kai cursed her when she did; condemned her to
misery, to being inflicted and conflicted and ruined with want for him, them.
He prayed with all sincerity that she’d be crazed with memories of their sultry
nights together, of the way their scent hung ripe in the air whenever they
moulded into one another. He just didn’t expect he’d suffer the same curse;
that he wouldn’t be able to sleep or eat or breathe without obsessing over
where she was, what she was doing and — Kai balled his hands into fists at
this question — if there was someone she
was doing and who. It was beyond thinking about her or dreaming about her, she
was in his blood and it screamed for her, making his skin, his lips, his hands,
his entire body crave for her touch
with devastating ferocity that it was physically painful not to be near her.
But still he
tried to ignore the agony, overpower it, rid himself of it. The memory of
Bonnie Bennett’s blood on his tongue, of his body hard against hers as his
fangs sunk into the smoothness of her neck, elicited in Kai a ravenous must to
feed and he rose to the occasion with a tenacity he only adopted when he was
insatiable, inconsolable. He’d never devoured or destroyed so much in his
entire life but it still wasn’t enough to slake his appetite; it was never what
he wanted, what he needed. He
realized then that feeding had become about more than blood since he’d tasted
Bonnie; it had become about connection, about emotion, about revelling in the most intimate part of her, and he
couldn’t get that from anywhere or anyone else. That enraged him. It frenzied
him with fury that Bonnie plagued him with urges and impulses and cravings
specific to her and her alone, only for her to starve him of her presence as
punishment for being the one who awakened her. It compelled him to obliterate
anyone and everyone unlucky enough to happen across his path, caused him to
grab fistfuls of his hair and yell, scream
with frustration. It wasn’t fair of her to do this, who the hell was she to do
this, to act like she was the only one in whatever it was they were doing. No,
he’d gone without her long enough; she’d had her fun, torturing him with her silence,
with her absence and now it was time for him to have his say.
With little to no effort, Kai heaved the
bloodless corpse he’d created into the rusted grey dumpster that was parked
next to the back entrance of the bar. He wiped his mouth with the back of his
hand and as he turned to leave the scene of his crime, he saw Stefan Salvatore
leave the building and walk toward the woods. Kai couldn’t explain why he felt
like Stefan would lead him to Bonnie but he felt it with certainty and so he
followed the Salvatore down the path.
paused for a brief moment as they each wondered what the other was doing in the
Salvatore Mansion. They spoke at the same time.
“Oh, I wasn’t
looking for Damon.”
and Elena shook her head in amused incredulity.
“Who are you
looking for if you aren’t looking for Damon?” said Bonnie.
“No one,” said
Elena. Then she cocked her head curiously. “How do you know he isn’t here?”
“His car isn’t
They stood in
silence and regarded each other. Elena narrowed her eyes at how restless Bonnie
was, at how frantic and harassed she looked and Bonnie raised her eyebrows at
the vacant and withdrawn expression on Elena’s face, it was like she was
“I think we
could both use a drink,” said Elena.
“I think you’re
right,” said Bonnie.
and hopped off the last step, making her way over to the living room. She
peered at the crystal decanters on the miniature bar. “There has to be something
here that isn’t bourbon,” she muttered.
“Maybe in the
kitchen?” said Bonnie.
“Yes! I think I
saw a bottle of tequila there the other day.”
“Works for me.”
They both made
their way out of the foyer and living room and in the kitchen Bonnie started
slicing limes at the breakfast bar as Elena went through the cupboards for the
tequila and a couple of shot glasses. When she found them, she poured Bonnie
and her some shots, they clinked glasses and threw the liquor back in one quick
motion. Bonnie hissed and cleared her throat as the alcohol slithered its way
through her system on a burning trail.
“So you’re over
Jeremy,” said Elena bluntly.
in surprise at the question — or was it an accusation? Actually it sounded
more like a simple assessment. She put a lime between her teeth and sucked
“What makes you
say that?” she said.
Elena, picking up a slice of lime for herself. “You’re a mess. School’s out so
it’s not exams, if anything was going on with your magic all of us would know,
you told me you spoke to your mom yesterday and everything was fine. That
leaves boys problems. And you never looked like this about Jeremy.”
her head slowly, picking at an imaginary crumb on the breakfast bar, saying
“So you’re over
him,” prompted Elena. She gentled her tone. “It’s OK, Bonnie, I’m not going to
get mad. I never expected you to wait for him forever.”
“It’s more than
being over him,” said Bonnie. “It’s more like … I’m over who I was when I was
her eyebrows as she poured a couple of more shots. They clinked glasses again,
gulped the tequila in one go and Elena hacked as she reached for another lime
slice. “And who were you when you were with him?”
“I was scared.”
the bravest person I know. You’ve always been the bravest person I’ve known.”
“Well I was
brave for others then. Not myself. That’s changed now.”
this new guy?”
her eyes upward to gauge Elena’s expression; it was interested, involved. “He
sort of brought that out in me, yeah,” she said.
“So what’s the
complicated. I’m complicated when I’m with him and I hate it.” Bonnie sighed.
“But I can’t let it go. Even when I end things with him.”
Elena made a
noise in assent, like she knew exactly what Bonnie was talking about. Bonnie
searched Elena’s face once more, at the misery in her eyes, the sadness that
pulled at the corner of her lips. “Stefan,” she said and before Elena could say
anything, Bonnie shrugged. “I didn’t look like this with Jeremy, you’ve never
looked like this about Damon. Unless you did when he was in the nineties, I
“I was a mess
when Damon was gone,” she said. “It was like the world didn’t make sense
anymore so I created my own to deal with it. But honestly, I think I went off
the deep end the way I did because Stefan wasn’t there to help me through it,
you know? I mean, I never want to go through that again, really thinking that
Damon is dead because that killed me but … I was lost because I didn’t have
Stefan, whenever Stefan isn’t in my life, I fall apart.”
“He’s in your
life now,” said Bonnie.
completely,” she whispered. “Not the way I want him to be.” Elena pressed her
lips together and then looked at Bonnie shyly. “How terrible do you think I am?
I know it looks like I’m just going back and forth between them…”
her head. “After a while we all saw what it was you saw in Damon,” she said.
“But I think we all knew that Stefan was the one you were meant to be with.”
say anything for a minute and then she spoke. “Is it Damon? The new guy?”
midway through doing another shot. “Wow,” she said, coughing. She put the glass
on the breakfast bar. “You must be drunk.”
“He loves you,
you know. The possibility isn’t completely ridiculous.”
“You’re the one
he’s in love with,” said Bonnie.
“And you mean
something to him that I never did. I wouldn’t be angry with you. Who am I to
Elena, it isn’t Damon.”
silence and then —
The sound of
the front door opening with a creak. Bonnie told Elena she’d see who it was and
walked swiftly back into the foyer.
He jerked his
head, surprised to see her in his house. “Bonnie?”
were footsteps coming from the kitchen, urgent and eager. “Hey, is that — Kai?”
Seemingly out of
nowhere Kai had appeared behind Stefan, just outside the doorway. “Elena,” he
There was a
beat before anyone did anything and then Kai and Stefan moved at once in a
whisper of speed. Stefan put himself in front of Elena, holding her by the hand
and shielding her from the direction of the door while Kai simply moved to be
inside the house before anyone could physically lock him out or say a spell. He
looked at Stefan.
“Relax, I’m not
here for Elena.” He stretched his head so he could glimpse Elena behind
Stefan’s broad shoulders. “Looks like you traded up. Nice.”
“What the hell
are you doing here, Kai?” said Stefan.
“I’m here for
“No,” said Elena.
Kai rolled his
eyes. “You’re human again.” His tone was condescending and patient as if he
were explaining something simple to an over-emotional child. “You couldn’t stop
me from doing what I wanted.”
“No, but I
could,” said Stefan.
Salvatore,” said Kai, raising his eyebrows appraisingly. “I would love to see
if I could eviscerate you quicker than your brother but I don’t care to do that
right now. I want to speak to Bonnie and I will
kill anyone who tries to stop me.”
but Bonnie put her hand up; he was strong but Kai was stronger — a witch, a
vampire and a psychopath… Stefan
I’ll talk to him,” said Bonnie.
alarmed. “Bonnie, I don’t trust him with you alone.”
“The last time
you said that to me I ended up stabbing him and leaving him to die in a hell
dimension. I think I’ll be fine.”
Kai. “She could totally take me.” He paused. “And has. Repeatedly.”
“Shut up, Kai,”
said Bonnie, snapping her head toward him.
Bonnie—” Elena waved her over. Bonnie shot Kai another dirty look and then
walked toward her. “I don’t like this,” said Elena. “His clothes are covered in
blood and he looks — he’s still hungry, I can tell. I had that same look when
I first turned, like nothing would fill me. Right, Stefan?” No answer.
still didn’t respond; he stared at Kai with a knowing look in his eye, his
eyebrows furrowed. “This isn’t the same thing,” he said quietly.
“What do you
mean?” said Elena.
to her. “Not all blood is the same. When I tasted yours when we were together …
nothing else compared to it, nothing else satisfied me the way yours did. One
drop from your finger did more for me than an entire blood bag. I hungered for you.”
parted at his words and before she could stop herself, she sighed slowly and
with aching; she sighed with the memory of how entwined they were in that
moment when he drank from her palm.
continued. “And Kai…”
You’re saying he’s hungering? But who would he be…” Elena looked at Bonnie,
horrified comprehension dawning her face. “Bonnie?”
“I don’t have
time for this, you can judge her later,” said Kai sharply. “Bonnie.” His tone was demanding but her name was a plea.
“Shut up, Kai.”
He clenched his
jaw dangerously and Bonnie closed her eyes. She could feel it — Kai’s
irritated impatience. Somehow her body was always attuned to his moods, to his
own inner-sensations; the connection would be cosmic if it didn’t feel so
hedonistic. His impatience was slowly burning way to anger and once it did
that, his anger would quickly give way to rage and Bonnie knew that once
enraged, he’d make do on his threat and kill someone if he wasn’t alone with
her and that knowledge flooded her with an all too familiar mixture of guilt,
arousal, flattery and disgust. She pinched the bridge of her nose with her
thumb and forefinger.
“You two should go upstairs.”
Before either Stefan or Elena could protest, Bonnie shook her head. “He won’t
leave and he isn’t bluffing. He really will kill one of you or both of you if
you don’t go.”
“I don’t like
this,” said Stefan.
everything in Bonnie to not roll her eyes. “You’re just upstairs. You’ll be
able to hear if anything goes wrong.”
trust her to make her own choices,” said Kai.
his eyes, glaring at Kai but he touched Elena’s shoulder and then move d to walk up the stairs. Elena looked
“I’ll be fine,”
she said again.
her mouth to the side and then followed Stefan up the staircase. When Bonnie
saw their silhouettes disappear down the hallway, she turned back to Kai and
charged at him, pushing him hard so that he staggered back and hit the wall
behind him. She screamed in his face.
“How many times do I have to tell you to
stop threatening my friends?”
“How many times
do I have to tell you that I don’t do
what you say?”
“Clearly,” said Bonnie,
gesticulating wildly. “Or else you wouldn’t be here.”
“I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t
keep running away every time you let yourself enjoy us.”
“I don’t enjoy us.”
“How many times do you think
you’ll have to tell yourself that before you’ll actually believe it?”
“Right because I’m the delusional one here,” said
Bonnie, bitter sarcasm in her voice. She groaned. “I swear, Kai, I can’t keep doing this!”
“You’re doing this to yourself.
Stop running away, it’s getting old.”
“I’m not the one who needs to
stop! I’m not the one who needs to believe what I tell you! I’m not the one
—” Bonnie cut herself off and sighed harshly. “How many times will I have to
leave before you’ll just let me be?”
“There isn’t a number for that,
Bon, and you know it. You’ve always known it. You’ve always revelled in it.”
Bonnie didn’t say anything but
just motioned wordlessly and then put her hands to her head in exasperation,
clutching her hair in her fists. Kai pushed off from the wall and started
walking around the foyer, taking in the house, his eyes landing on an old photo
of Damon and Stefan with their arms across each other’s shoulders. “I hate that
you always come here,” he said.
It was like
something in Bonnie erupted. “Then go!” The
entire house echoed with her words, the floors and walls and ceilings
reverberating with her anger as if they were infused with her frustration.
“No,” said Kai
I’ll leave.” Bonnie started to walk past Kai to the door but he grabbed her by
the wrist and roughly pulled her back so that she was in front of him again,
their faces only a whisper away from one another; Bonnie’s breath caught in her
throat. Her lips swelled. She felt her heart thud frantically against her chest
and her skin prickle pleasantly at the sensation of Kai’s hand on her wrist,
his lips only inches away from hers, his eyes dark and red with furious desire
… She slapped him then. She slapped him so hard against the face that his lip
cut against his teeth, leaving a gash, and her wrist was freed from his grasp.
He made a noise like a growl, a deep grumble in his chest and took her by the
arms and moved so that they sped across the foyer and into the living room, her
back slamming against a wall, his body slamming against hers.
sat on the edge of his bed, his arms folded and his face taut with
concentration as Elena stood by the half-open door, her eyes still as she
listened. “I don’t even need enhanced hearing to hear what’s going on down
there,” she said.
definitely loud,” Stefan agreed.
She looked at
him and moved her hair away from her face. “Did we ever fight like that?”
for a minute as if he were flipping through the pages of his memory, searching
through their history, their relationship. He cleared his throat. “I do distinctly
remember you punching me in the face.”
her mouth in amused incredulity. “That doesn’t count!”
“Of course it
counts,” said Stefan, a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.
gotten my humanity back! I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind, Stefan.”
Elena. “You bit me. And called me a blood bag. And nearly drove me off Wickery
were many times I crossed the line with you,” said Stefan.
her head sympathetically at his sombre tone and walked toward the bed so that
she sat next to him. “I don’t hold any of it against you, you know that right?”
what you do,” said Stefan. “You forgive. It doesn’t make any of it OK. I know I
won’t ever be OK with what I did to you back then.” Pain clouded Stefan’s eyes
and shame etched the lines of his face, making him lower his head. Elena put
her hand on his. She couldn’t stand to see him suffer — she never could. When
she’d been devastated with visions of him drowning, it had been one of the
worst physical experiences she’d ever been through; seeing his pain, feeling his torment had hurt her beyond
imagining … all she’d wanted to do was reach out to him, save him, comfort him,
have him safely in her arms. That was all she wanted to do now too and she
tightened her hold on him.
“Do you know
what it is you do?” she said. “You help people. Protect them. And that’s what
you did. Everything that happened happened because you saved Damon. How could I
hate you for that? How could I not love you for that? Stefan …”
He raised his
head so he could look at her. His eyes moved slowly back and forth, drinking in
her features, her expression; his gaze intense and unyielding and full of
everything he’d wanted to say to her for months. He swallowed hard, moving his
hand so their fingers could interlink, his index finger stroking hers, her
thumb caressing his palm, and he watched as Elena’s cheeks flushed a faint red
she stared fixedly back at him, holding his gaze, her own eyes shining with
There was a
yell that seemed to shake the foundation of the mansion itself.
“Kai, let me go!”
his grip so that his hands were white with effort and he pinned Bonnie even
harder to the wall. “Make me.”
not to grit her teeth with pain and glared at him. “What?”
“You could make
me let go if you wanted to. You have the power to set me on fire, give me an
aneurysm. You could do anything you wanted to me but you’re not because you want this!”
Bonnie jutted her head forward as
much she could, her face contorted with malicious anger. “How many times do you
think you’ll have to tell yourself that before you’ll actually believe it?”
clasped his hand around Bonnie’s throat and sharply moved her head to the side,
leaning in so that his nose nuzzled her neck. As his hand slipped down to her
chest, Bonnie could feel his fangs gently graze her skin and she swallowed
hard, pressing her lips together. She felt his tongue and she tilted her head
to give his mouth better access; the movement was infinitesimal but it was
enough to make Kai grin and he started kissing her neck. Bonnie let out a
little gasp and then she squeezed her eyes shut.
She lifted her
arms in a rapid motion and then brought her fists swiftly down onto Kai’s
wrists, forcing him to release her from his hold. She pushed him for a second
time so that she could move away from the wall and into the middle of the
“Get out, Kai.
Get. Out. I meant it when I said we were done.”
mean it and you always end up in my bed a day or two days or a week later. Face
facts, Bonnie, we’re never done.”
Bonnie let out
a yell of aggravation and glared at Kai, mustering all the magic she could so
that she felt it in her veins, felt it on her skin, felt it electrify her
fingertips. Kai fell to his knees and put both hands to his temples, pressing
in his fingers, and he groaned in agony, rocking his head back and forth.
Bonnie stood in front of him, her breathing ragged, vicious satisfaction
crashing over her, chaos and violence and anger and guilt a confused mess
roiling in her gut. Finally, Kai muttered something and Bonnie knew the spell
was lifted. He got up to his feet but she extended her arm and he was thrown
back onto the floor, glass shards from the chandelier flew away from the light
and pierced different parts of his body so that he yelped with each cut until
he started laughing; a harsh, humourless sound.
“You can hurt
me, you can beat me, you can even kill me, Bonnie, but you won’t ever stop
wanting me. You will never escape this.”
She lowered her
arm and rushed toward him, grabbing him by his shirt and hauling him back up to
his feet, giving no thought to the wounds she inflicted on him and how her rough
treatment of his body wounded him further. “Why does this matter to you so
much? Why can’t you find someone else to torment?”
“I don’t want
“Why not? There are other women—”
“Not like you.”
“Not like me what.”
“No one drives me
crazy like you. No one aggravates me like you, agitates me like you. No one
makes me hate you like you.”
isn’t it obvious? I love you.”
him and the sound popped in the air like a firecracker. Her handprint was red
on Kai’s face. He turned back to look at her. “I’m not kidding, Bonnie. I love
She slapped him
again so that the cut she made on his bottom lip split open again and blood
came oozing out. Kai turned to her once more. “You can keep slapping me but it
doesn’t change anything, I love—”
him before he could finish his sentence. She slapped him again. And again. And
She moved to
strike him but Kai caught her by the wrist and thrust her hand down then
grabbed her by the back of her head and pushed her to him so their lips
collided with each other. Kai kissed her with a passion that incensed the
blood, his hands sliding down from her head to her shoulder, his fingers
sliding up the side of her neck. Bonnie’s fingernails clutching his back,
itching to shred through his shirt. “I do,” said Kai between kisses, his voice
husky and strangled. “I love you, I do.”
echoed in Stefan’s ears and he smiled sadly.
“What is it?”
said Elena. “What’s going on?”
“He, uh …”
Stefan laughed. “He’s telling her he loves her.”
her eyebrows. “Oh,” she said. “Well that’s um … huh …Kai in love … well does
Bonnie believe him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you believe
him? Like believe that he could change?”
Stefan didn’t say anything for a moment
and then spoke as if he were weighing his words carefully. “I guess I believe
anything after seeing what you did for Damon,” he said. “You got him to love.
Really love.” He paused. “You got me
Elena bit her bottom lip and looked away
so that her hair shielded her face from Stefan’s gaze. “You got me to love
too,” she whispered. “You got me to feel,
to just be able to enjoy things … that never went away. No matter what whenever
I’m with you it’s like …”
“Life is full
of possibility,” said Stefan. “Like every experience we have is that much
better just because we were together.”
sharply toward him, her eyes piercing and sincere and shining now with unshed
tears. She moved her fingers from Stefan’s hand and placed them on the side of
his face and she watched as he closed his eyes at her touch; when he opened
them again they were raw and questioning. She shook her head slightly. “Even
with everything that’s happened,” she said. “I never stopped being in love with
Stefan’s mouth was on hers, a hard peck charged with four years of pining.
Elena put her other hand on the other side of Stefan’s face and brought him
even deeper into the kiss, her mouth opening his with gentle urgency — this
was what it felt like to come home, to feel safe and freed all at once, to
relish in familiarity, to feel like absolutely nothing in the world could touch
her as long as she stayed in this embrace. Elena broke away and sighed deeply,
with satiation and with the desire for more; her forehead still pressed against
Stefan’s, their lips still touching. He shifted his weight and put his hands on
the small of Elena’s back, guiding her to him so that she moved over to his
lap, sitting astride him. She looked down at him, at the eager desire in his
stare and then kissed him again, fiercely, recklessly, wanting to give all of
herself to the moment, to him and urging him to fall away to her. Stefan
reached up so that one of his hands were at the side of her face, his fingers
combing through strands of her hair while his other hand slid up her bare leg
with sensual leisure and slipped beneath her skirt to her behind, pressing her
even more tightly to him, making Elena groan into his mouth. She clutched his
shoulders with both hands, her fingers digging into his shirt then grabbed the
hem and pulled it off so that she could feel his bare back beneath her palms,
feel his muscles work, feel the taut ripples his arms; she bent down to kiss
his neck, to nip his ear, to explore every inch of the home she’d been away
from for too long. Stefan slid off Elena’s tank top, his hands caressing her
sides, letting it fall to the floor and she reached behind her to unclasp her
bra dropping it down to her shirt. He twisted so that she was on the bed and he
was above her, kissing her throat, her chest, her breasts, as his hand stroked
her between her thighs — his lips on her skin were gluttonous, fervent. He
pulled away from her, his face flushed, her breathing ragged, and brushed her
hair from her forehead, trailing his finger down the profile of her face from
the bridge of her nose to the curves of her lips, his eyes fixed on hers with
every movement. Elena smoothed her hands over Stefan’s chest, down to his
stomach, gauging every expression that passed over his face and then unbuckled
his belt, feeling his hardness on her hand so that he moaned and kissed her
fiercely. Almost fumbling with the zipper, Elena rid him of his jeans and
Stefan pulled away for a second time, serious and burning and wanting. He eased
down and the moment he sunk into
her, he gasped. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “I’ve missed you…”
parted. “I’ve wanted you…”
to move and she started to move with him, their eyes never leaving each other,
their breathing a mingled music, neither one of them at all concerned with the
glasses fell to the floor with a shatter as Bonnie thrust Kai against the bar,
kissing him like she wanted to devour him, conquer him, her teeth biting
painfully down on his lower lip. Without pulling away, she ripped open his
shirt, her nails scraping against his bare chest and she felt him wince in
discomfort but groan with pleasure. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled
so that her head was yanked back, her jugular exposed and her eyes pierced into
his. Growling he began kissing her neck with a slowness that hinted at
desirable menace and Bonnie’s eyes rolled to the back of her head before she
closed them, feeling his hand slide down from her back to her butt — he
squeezed, making her squeal and then lifted so that her legs were wrapped
around his waist and turned so that she was sitting on top of the bar with a
resounding thud. Bonnie cried out as a few shards of glass stabbed her skin.
“Not very fun
is it,” said Kai, his lips pressed to her ear. He tugged on it and then grazed
his teeth across her jaw, holding onto her thigh as he pushed his pelvis into
her so that she whimpered when he made contact with her ache.
Bonnie put her
hand further behind her on the bar and put her weight on it so that her head
was thrown back and her body was arched, pushing up her chest, as Kai put the
top of her neckline between his teeth and tugged downward so that the material
tore and the shirt ripped in half, his tongue making a line down from beneath
her bra to her stomach. Bonnie’s hand clenched the wood of the bar.
She lifted her
head to look at him. “On your knees,” she gasped.
wickedly and pulled off her leggings in one swift and rough motion then he sank
to the ground as he pried her legs apart. He put her feet behind the legs of
the bar and then muttered a spell so that they were pinned where they were and
so Bonnie couldn’t move. With delectable slowness he buried his face in the
apex of her thighs, his tongue making leisure circles, his finger easing in and
out and in… Bonnie moaned, trying, in vain, to wriggle or squirm, to move at all.
She balled her hand into a fist and banged on the glass surface of the bar and
“So you do
listen to what I say,” she said.
something that makes sense,” said Kai and he eased a second finger in, making
her scream his name.
silvertonguedaggermaw said: I
read your tags and now I’m wondering what the hell happened, and (even
as a bit of a dragon fan) can understand why you’d be put off >>
Definitely not what I think of when I think of dragons.
albescentprince said: i totally understand the rp feelings because headcannon talk seems centered in that area, which sucks for artists who aren’t able to be involved! i hope you won’t mind if i pop into your inbox or tags from time to time if i think of something???
Definitely! My askbox is always open! I generally love bouncing ideas around to see what sticks.
I guess I also have personal reasons for hesitating to leap back into RP. It’s kinda long but if anyone’s curious, keep reading….
Do you guys write scenarios about kissed by the baddest bidder and/or other otame games? I'm new to this game and I stumbled upon your blog and it's really good.
Aww thanks you’re too sweet ^ ^ yup. I write fanfics/headcanons based on voltage games. KBTBB is one of them but I generally write for games/scenarios that people request from me #I have no original ideas anymore X3
I’m assuming that by ‘you guys’ your referring to other blogs as well?
Yup. There are loooaaadddss of awesome fic writers within the fandom but the games they write about may vary. The vast majority should write for KBTBB because it’s such a popular game and definitely more of the newer games because we’re getting tons of new writers here ^ ^
If you wanna read more fics, you can search things like 'voltage fanfic’ or 'voltage headcanon’ or something because most (if not all) fic writers tag their work so even non-followers can find them ^ ^
Welcome to the fandom hun! If you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll try my best to answer ^ ^
I hope you like it here…because there is no escape >:) XD
Rule 1: Always post the rules. Rule 2: Answer the questions that the person who tagged you wrote then write 11 new ones (unless you don’t want to.) Rule 3: Tag 11 people. Rule 4: Tell them you tagged them. Rule 5: Tag “#tag"
I’m putting it all under a read more because I got a bit ramble-y.
1) Why did you choose your URL?
It’s a reference to a part of the book Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters
2) What’s your middle name?
3) If you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?
Definitely the fairly oddparents
4) Favourite Colour?
5) Favourite Song?
I really can not pick one but ‘Wash - Bon Iver’ is very special to me because it helped me to see beauty in life
6) What are your top 3 fandoms?
harry potter, the hunger games, sherlock/benedict cumberbatch…but there are so many!!
7) Why do you enjoy tumblr?
I am a very introspective person so I think it’s cool to externalize my personality through colors and photos. Also I learn a lot reading things here
8) Tag 9 blogs you love (they’ll have to answer all 8 too)
i read your tag rant! what book is it that you were talking about?
A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood!
I originally read it because I wanted to read the book before I watched the movie, which I wanted to watch for Colin Firth, but then I ended up loving the book so fucking much. And I still haven’t watched the movie - I tried watching ten minutes once and gave up.
But it’s a REALLY great book, I definitely recommend it! Not a feel-good book by any means, but definitely one that makes you think really hard about life. It’s great, I can’t express how much I love it!
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!!!AH IM KINDA STARSTRUCK NOW (like noya heheh) because that was so bEAUTIFUL THANK U SOSO MUCH!! i hope you had as much writing this as i did reading (which us A LOOOT of fun seriously.)
(and isnt oikawas face gr8)
(´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ I’m so happy you like it! I definitely had lots of fun writing it, and it’s so nice to know that you had fun reading it!!
1) Favorite actor: Conrad Veidt
2) Favorite actress: Marlene Dietrich
3) Favorite song: “Your Bones” by Of Monsters and Men
4) Favorite fanfiction: there is an actual Polidori fanfic and it is great (it’s usually the first thing that comes up when you Google ‘john polidori fanfiction’ which is definitely a thing I’ve done)
5) Last book or fanfiction you’ve read: the last fanfiction was probably about The Threepenny Opera (I am not making this up) and the last book was one about Leni Riefenstahl, though I skimmed most of it because she makes me angry
6) Favorite fictional book character: either Luna Lovegood or the entire Mikhail Bulgakov universe
7) Favorite book genre: umm…weird and slightly creepy?? Like Gothic novels.
8) Favorite show: probably Parks and Recreation
9) Favorite video game: don’t have one
10) Favorite author: Mikhail Bulgakov
How did you get through it bc I took one look at the title, rolled my eyes and closed the tab before it was even done loading.
I missed the title the first time I read it because I definitely wouldn’t have even tried to read it if I saw that “retirement” gibberish. I encountered it once in the tumblr tag, but it was a text post, so I rolled my eyes and just moved past it but then when I saw it on twitter again, I had to make myself read it and that was such a mistake, I have the biggest headache right now.
Ehehe. Gladly! I’ll assume you mean this one specifically, which sadly means I don’t have her 100% figured out just yet, but I’ll tell you what I can. ^^ It may have ended up being more than I expected.
Hello. So I kinda always read the tags on my gifsets and I saw you tagged the Bigstar one with "I really need to listen to this group" and I just wanted to say that: yes please do that and give them your support on the 4th of september because they're coming back after 2 years :)) thank you!
I definitely will! I had never heard of them before but after seeing a lot of posts about them here I want to give them a listen. I am always looking for more groups to listen to. Can you recommend any song that I should check out first?
hi!! i'm trying to read winterhawk drabble on your blog but when i click on the read more it redirects me back to your home page am i doing something wrong?? i dont understand
That should definitely not be happening and that’s the second time I’ve had this problem in two days and now I’m concerned because I don’t save these things anywhere else, and I’m now realizing I should start doing it.
Can I ask which drabble it is and I’ll see if I can fix the post?
EDIT: Hey, if you click here, you should be able to just read most of them right off my blog. My writing tag has most of my drabbles in it and some other writing notes, sorry about that, but it’s my organizational style. I’ll start dumping all these drabbles into a fic soon so this doesn’t keep happening.
I saw you reblog my Shallan drawing and was like UM I DIDNT KNOW YOUR READ STORMLIHGHT ARCHIVE THIS IS V SURPRISING, but then i read your tags, and was saddened yet uplifted
I feel rly guilty about not finishing The Way of Kings because I love Branderson’s other stuff so much and I felt like I’d betrayed him lmao bUT I will definitely try to read it again (also ur drawing was hilarious keep up the good work)
I'm dead and I love you and I don't think I've ever enjoyed reading anything as much as I've enjoyed reading YAMMS. Can I ask, though, is it going to get angsty? Like I feel like everything is going so well (even when there are road bumps) that if stuff gets angsty, I'll be completely blindsided, haha. You definitely don't have to answer that, it's just for my own peace of mind. Thank you again for this beautiful story!! - Bella xx
dlfgksd THANK YOU im so glad you liked the update!!!! this is so so nice, seriously!!!
and no! no angst planned at all. the only ~angst~ there will be in this fic will be minor moments of tension to keep it from being boring, but i wouldn’t even call that angst. there won’t be like, any major fights or breakups or anything like that, i promise! i like to write happy, healthy relationships, and that’s what this fic will be!