because i couldn't think of anything else to do with this

Fuller House: Never Know

John Mulaney is right, 13 yos are scary af. And I’m obsessed with Jackson and Ramona from Fuller House. I combined these two facts and ended up with a weird seven minutes in heaven fic. Jackson/Ramona. Rated T. Roaming 3rd.


Seven minutes in heaven is no joking matter. Not in 8th grade. It is taken with all the seriousness of gossip, pranks, and parties without parental supervision.
There was a time when it was just a natural extension of spin the bottle, but then the victims players knew who was going in. And that’s a bore, a total yawn.

Now, it’s a true game of skill by those that select the next couple. They have to be shoved in without each others knowledge for one thing, which takes way more time to plan, and when the time is up they have to be pulled out before their vision can adjust to the light.

Jackson was fairly positive this version of the game was invented by demented perverts. But it was fun to sneak around parties getting unsuspecting couples to participate. He quickly learned who shipped who in his middle school. It was both disturbing and fascinating. Like Tumblr, but real.

And then it was his turn… Less entertaining.

The door slammed shut behind whoever the girl was they just pushed inside. She collided with him and they fell back against the wall, surrounded by coats and plastic garment bags. 

There was a short breath where they both just stood there, pressed close together, before they kissed. Jackson placed a hand on the girl’s hips and her hands came up to rest on his shoulders. OK, not a bad experience so far.

Jackson liked the flowery scent of her hair and the soft movement of her lips against his. Not a bad experience at all. He placed his other hand in her hair to help deepen the kiss. He ran his tongue along her top lip and she responded by biting his bottom lip. His hand slipped down to her shoulder.

When he turned to press her against the wall he started to put the pieces together. Ruffly skirt. Vest, with rhinestones. He moved his hand over her chest and the girl pressed closer. Jackson was fairly sure he wasn’t breathing anymore by this point.

The rhinestones made an R shape. And he recognized the shape of the pendant on her necklace that banged against his hand when she arched into his touch.

Ramona.

Shit. He was so in trouble.

He moved his hand back across her chest and she made a noise that gave Jackson goosebumps. So he did it again.

Ramona’s hands moved from curling in his shirt to wrapping around his neck. Jackson definitely approved of the increasing closeness.

Except for the Ramona part. That was bad.

Not that he hadn’t thought about the girl living across the hall from him like that before. But he really shouldn’t. It would be awkward.

But she didn’t know it was him. It was totally safe for him to enjoy this.


Ramona knew it was Jackson about two seconds after being pushed into the closet. She recognized the smell of that stupid combo scent he wore of Dark Temptation and Excite – because what could be cooler than two lame Axe scents mixed together?

When they kissed, surrounded by coats, she was surprised that he was actually pretty good at it. His hands slid around her waist and she reflexively moved hers to his shoulder. She liked the way his grip tightened with the intensity of their kiss.

She tried to remind herself that this was Jackson. The guy that made sarcastic jokes about her clothes and threatened to throw the goop he oiled his skateboard wheels with at her when she entered his room.

Ramona shivered when his tongue ran across her bottom lip and his fingers glanced over the neck on her skin before curling in her hair. She pushed back to deepen the kiss, to pull at his bottom lip and run her across the surface. His hand moved down to her shoulder.

Jackson pressing her into a wall was not where she expected this night to go. It wasn’t even where she had expected this kiss to go. It was Jackson! When his hand slipped across her chest Ramona shivered again, and arched closer.

Lola had told her about a guy that had raked his hand over her chest during Seven Minutes, she said it had been totally ick. But Ramona found she liked the way Jackson did it. It was like a feather, barely there. He did it again. And again.

They were kissing deeper, messier. Closer. It was awesome.

The hand on her hip finally moved. Jackson squeezed her butt and Ramona squeaked. She heard Jackson laugh. It was rougher than usual.

Good, she wasn’t the only one enjoying this then.

She kissed him again, pulling on his hair. Revenge. He groaned and if her lips were not otherwise occupied she would have smirked.

His watch started beeping then. They separated. Ramona took a step back and a deep breath as he shut off the alarm. Time was up soon. She hadn’t even thought about that. Not that she was complimenting Jackson’s forethought or anything else. Never.

When the door opened she caught a quick look at Jackson as her eyes adjusted before her friends could move her away. It was him. Goofy face, flannel shirt. His eyes were all weird, but that was probably the light.

It didn’t matter that she liked it, Jackson would never know.

FF, AO3

Coran and Altean age theory under the cut

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devilgate-drive  asked:

Ninja Ship Party, Dan takes Brian out for a morning swim.

“C’mon, Brian!” Dan says, much, much too cheerful for five in the motherfucking morning. He had to have been drunk or something when he agreed to going for an early morning swim with Dan, because he couldn’t have made this decision while in possession of all his faculties.

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3

You were always gold to me

okay but you all know that kevin day has that left handed complex. he complains senselessly about the lack of left handed scissors or ice cream scoops despite needing neither. he makes sure you know that you’re in his way when eating by elbowing you purposely but refuses to move to the end of the table. he shouts at anyone that makes fun of his handwriting because 1) it’s awful, and 2) it’s all smudgy. short story long, kevin day is the worst

for @thepackwantsthed because this is fantastic and I’m dying:

“So I love fics that do Baltimore from Andrew’s perspective as much as the next person….but where are my fics about Aaron giving Andrew the choice between him and Neil????”

here you go!!


Aaron is leaning against the counter in the kitchenette with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face when Andrew returns from his morning class. Andrew slides a glance at Aaron and frowns. He dumps his bag by his desk and then returns to the kitchen, digging the chocolate milk out of the fridge and filling up a small glass.

The silence only lasts until the milk is gone.

“You’re going to break your promise to me,” Aaron says, and his voice is so confident that Andrew wonders if Aaron is drunk. Aaron should no better than to demand such things with a sober mind.

Andrew turns a quick, sharp, cold smile on his brother. “Am I now? Why is that?”

“Because I want to be with Katelyn more than I want to be with you.”

Andrew’s smile vanishes. He stares Aaron down with a flat gaze that Aaron almost succeeds in returning. They are identical in so many ways, but Aaron doesn’t have the horrors of Andrew’s past to back up his icy glare. Aaron doesn’t know how to shut out his emotions.

“Why do you think I care? I made a promise to you, and I’m not going to break it. We’ve been over this before, quite recently, actually. Is your memory so poor?”

Aaron wisely doesn’t take the bait. Andrew isn’t surprised; Aaron is too focused on something that he wants to resort to being petty.

“I don’t think you care,” Aaron says. Then he smiles, a smirk of a war won before the first battle has begun. “But if I can’t have Katelyn, then you can’t have Neil.”

Not expecting a bold move like that from Aaron, Andrew freezes, back and shoulders stiffening with a rage he doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to.

But Aaron isn’t waiting for him. “Neil is just as much of a violation of our deal as Katelyn is. Kevin was pushing it, but I let him pass because you weren’t fucking him.” Andrew bares his teeth in a snarled warning, but Aaron isn’t finished yet. “Either you break your deal with me, or you break things off with Neil.”

Andrew curls his shaking fingers into fists. The last deal he let go of was Neil’s, and that had backfired on him in the worst of ways. He isn’t ready or willing to do that again. 

Across from Andrew, Aaron’s eyes flash in triumph. Andrew wants to punch him, but he realizes that his anger comes from knowing that Aaron has won. Aaron isn’t a murder magnet like Neil. Neil needs Andrew more. 

Andrew needs Neil more than he needs Aaron.

“If she breaks your heart, I don’t want to hear a single word about it. I don’t want anything to do with her, and I don’t want her near me. She’s not part of my world, and she’s definitely not my family.”

“You have to tell her,” Aaron says. “She won’t believe it from me.”

Andrew shoves past Aaron instead of answering and slams the door behind him on the way out. He almost goes straight to the library, where he knows Katelyn is studying with friends, but he changes his mind at the last minute and heads to Neil’s class, which will be over soon. Andrew doesn’t trust himself not to murder Katelyn, and Neil is the only one that Andrew would allow to stop him.

Facts about Kim Jongin:
  • His voice is pure honey, whether he’s speaking or rapping or singing 
  • He always looks beautiful. ALWAYS
  • He wrote a book. It’s called “how to fool people into thinking you’re a sex god when really you’re just an innocent cub who mistakes nail polish for lipstick”
  • Don’t let his real age fool you. He is an actual 5 year old.
  • He eats, sleeps, and breathes dance. He even said that he doesn’t care to do anything else because the stage is his life
  • His favorite season is Winter. And it’s not because he knows we all would kill to see him in sweaters 24/7, 365 days a year
  • You know that one idol that always sticks up for his fans and tell them they are beautiful no matter what and that they should study hard to brighten their futures, etc.? Yeah that’s Jongin
  • Ever known someone who, every time they speak, shocks you because of how thoughtful they really are; it’s like you could spend hours having mindful conversation about everything? It’s probably Jongin
  • He loves dogs more than you do. 
  • He’s a liar because:
  • 1) He looks amazing in glasses and 
  • 2) His selfies are legendary
  • He would be great with kids, if he ever stopped obsessing over the puppies to pay them any attention
  • He takes his personal relationships very seriously *side-eyes Kaisoo and Taekai*
  • He is very private. And, no, it’s not only because he wouldn’t know how to navigate sns to save his life
  • His hips do not lie
  • His smile is brighter than a million stars and will momentarily blind you if you stare for too long. Though you do it anyway because it’s Jongin’s smile and it makes you weak.
  • He’s probably read more novels than you
  • He could spend an entire day sleeping
  • Losing things is his hobby
  • You know that perfect man you always dream about? it’s Jongin, even when it’s not. 
  • He’s everyone’s ideal husband, brother, uncle, best friend, and role model
  • He is loved by me

I just can’t believe Naruto is not in love with Sakura anymore.

It doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t make sense at all, and I can’t stop feeling sick everytime I think about it. If true love was that easy to forget, and that easy to start feeling for someone else, christ, I don’t even know what would happen to the world. 

Everytime I think about Naruto, I feel bad for him and Hinata. No, really, I do. And I feel bad for Sakura as well. Not for Sasuke, he doesn’t fucking care about anything, and I still don’t know why in heavens he started doing so.

But I feel bad about them because they didn’t have the future they wanted to. Well… Not in the way they wanted to. Naruto wanted to be Hokage. Boom! It happened. But he didn’t get his true love. I know shit happens in life, but hey! We had the clues, right? After several years of his life loving her, he didn’t even get the chance of telling her about his feelings. 

He never got the chance of telling her that he was the one who complimented her forehead! It makes me so sad that I want to scream of frustration, because it hurts. It hurts seeing that Naruto didn’t have his chance. It would hurt less if he just told her already and got dumped. Because that way she would know, and she wouldn’t be living a lie, just like she does now. She would know the truth, and maybe she would change her mind. Who knows?! 

And it hurts the most because I think everyone of you (inccluding me) who is reading this knows what it feels like being neglected and private of that person. And I ask myself everyday why would Kishimoto do this? Does he hate his own main character? Or he just doesn’t care anymore about the work which took many years of his life and all of his dedication? 

Well… I don’t know the answer, because there’s no right answer to make us understand what the hell did he do. I know money rules the world, but one day I believed that Naruto was beyond it. If I were him after all these years working really hard, working my ass out to give people this wonderful and beautiful story, I would love Naruto and all of my characters. And I would make the best ending for all of them, with no lies, with no pity (because once I was told that we just have pity for people we don’t like, and I agree) and with CLOSURE. That is still missing in the story.

6

Thorin’s objection to Rivendell is so asinine and flimsy that Gandalf had multiple avenues of counterargument. He went with, ‘bad things won’t happen to you because you’re not bad like your dad and grandpa were,’ and ‘let it go, man.’

Gandalf’s Counsel: what would it look like he’s trying to do? (7/49)

People who fully commit themselves to any one subculture make me both impressed and suspicious. How do all of your interests (visual style, music, movies, hobbies, etc.) just happen to perfectly line up with this pre-existing label? How do you stay so committed to this one persona? What parts of yourself are you hiding from the world because they “don’t fit” with said persona?