because i clearly abuse both those things

So I made this woman in Target feel really uncomfortable about the Fifty Shades of Grey movie/book series, basically, here was the conversation:

Me: *Standing at the checkout counter and reading National Geographic, there’s a Fifty Shades Darker book lying nearby, someone must’ve left it there*

Woman: *taps me on shoulder, gestures at book* “Excuse me, are you buying that? I was thinking about reading them, what with the movie coming out and all…”

Me: “No, I s'pose someone just left it there…”

Woman: “So do you think they’re any good? The Fifty Shades books, I mean…”

Me: *looks woman dead in the eye as I pay for my magazine* “No, the whole Fifty Shades series is, in my opinion, an awful story about an unhealthy relationship based on fear and full control, both of which are horribly inaccurate portrayals of a safe, sane, and consensual  BDSM relationship. The book shouldn’t even be called Fifty Shades of Grey, it should be called Fifty Shades of Domestic Abuse, because that is precisely the type of relationship that is portrayed in those books. E.L. James should be ashamed of herself for writing such a story.”

Woman: “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t uh…” *babbles awkwardly and walks away, clearly embarrassed*  

Cashier: *nods* “You know, I told the woman who was originally buying that book the same thing, and as a survivor of domestic violence, I’m proud of you for being one of the few young folks that can actually see that book for what it is… here’s your magazine…” *looks at my crucifix necklace*  "And have a blessed day.“

I ain’t even sorry about that other woman, she asked for my thoughts and I dropped the mic on her 

Hey I need to say something? I need to stay away from the SU tag for a few days because I’m already seeing a lot of shitty discourse over people either vilifying Jasper or Lapis and absolving the other. And honestly? It’s making me sick to my stomach.

Look I was in a real bad abusive relationship for four years. This episode hit so close to home I don’t even know how to describe it. SU’s made me cry a lot but nothing before has left me shaking, gasping, like this did. But it was cathartic, and it was amazing, and half of those tears were coming from the fact that I am so glad that a children’s show is delivering that message so clearly and succinctly, because it was something I really wish I had heard when I was younger.

But here’s the thing: abusive relationships are seldom one way. Lapis and Jasper were in a toxic relationship - their relationship was built on hate and sustained by hate. They hurt each other. And they’re both coping with it in wildly different ways.

Telling a story about a realistic and mutually hurtful relationship is so important, so please quit taking sides, it trivializes the message. I can’t speak for any other abuse survivors, but for me, all the discourse is not at all helpful and very very hurtful, so please, kindly, stop it.