because he's realizing for the first time that he can't lose her

Thatcher, Redbeard, a series of dreadful events, and the love that have yet to speak its name.

Someday the true story may be told – for those of us that have recognized and believed in the romance between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, Sherlock has been the adaptation many of us wanted to see it happen. S4 was difficult – I didn’t think it possible to experience grief and loss because of a tv show, yet there I was, sad, disappointed, and moping for weeks. But after going back and reading some ACD canon as a form of therapy, I realized just how much I still love Sherlock. I can’t explain it, it is… what it is. So I watched S4 again quite a few times the last week or so. And guess what? I am here to tell you in all seriousness – love conquers all may still be on its way after all.

We already know the surface narrative of S4: Mary died saving Sherlock, Eurus, the long-lost third Holmes sibling killed Redbeard aka Victor aka Sherlock’s childhood best friend out of jealousy, and was the mastermind behind everything Moriarty ever did. After enduring the Sherrindford Experiment™, Sherlock solved Eurus’ riddles and saved John’s life; Baker Street Boys were back at 221B solving crimes as they always do, with some parenting on the side. The end.

My conclusion after tearing through layers of allusions? Mary probably didn’t die (I can’t make up my mind about this… for now); there was definitely no baby. It was all Mycroft’s fault, Eurus the east wind was a story he made up to conceal Lady Elizabeth Smallwood’s slaughterhouse, where Redbeard came into being and became Sherlock’s Reichenbach cauldron. Sherlock and John finally recognized the hurt, grief, and loss they both endured as a couple since TRF; but for now, they were back in the glass closet, the love they shared remained unspoken – until/if the lost special can be found. The end.

Don’t believe me? Let’s begin with Thatcher because so much of S4 revolves around the darkest moments in the UK during her time as the prime minister. Before I begin, please note that you’ll have to see beyond the suggested time and space presented on screen as the surface narrative unfolds, and instead try and think about allegory and allusion. Yeah, kinda like reading ACD canon, but a bit more difficult – let’s face it, visual media is just as capable of inspiring as deceit as we all know intimately by now.

Ready? Fair warning – this is the longest and saddest meta I’ve ever written, and it’s only the tip of an iceberg. Please be patience and try reading to the end, I promise it’ll be worth your time.

The scene that broke everything wide open for me was the exchange between Mycroft and Lady Smallwood:

Lady Smallwood. Alicia this time. PM – as in prime minister? Nope. Because earlier:

Why use an acronym, then? PM as in night? Darkness? Shadow?

A secret then. What did Mycroft reveal as he removed Alicia Smallwood’s card?

Oh and look what Eurus said in the scene right after:

The other one – Lady Elizabeth Smallwood. Lady…… Sherrinford? 

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Summary: Matt likes to think Neil is done saying things that will get himself killed. Andrew disagrees.

Relationships: Matt & Neil, established Andrew/Neil

Warning: This is very pointless and the proof that I can write fluff and crack of anything. 

Word Count: 1474

Read on AO3

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anonymous asked:

14. “How can I hate someone that I’m in love with?” Andreil. I am ready for angst (such Christmas spirit, wow)

14. “How can I hate someone that I’m in love with?” (Hi there I combined this with another request, so this is the sequel to my 99 prompt with Neil getting hurt !!)

“All they had in the tooth-rotting section at the corner store was coffee crisp and triple fudge so I got both,” Neil announces, shouldering their door open with his hands full of ice-cream tubs and an array of keys.

He’s taken to wearing them on a lanyard like a school teacher, and Andrew knows he does it because he wants them at hand, near his heart. Renee bought him a fox charm and it hangs between the key to the court and the first one Andrew ever gave him — he’s memorized the shape of it without trying to.

Kevin glances at Neil over the screen of his laptop and stands immediately, walking wordlessly to his room. He retreats to his bedroom whenever Andrew and Neil are in a room together, lately. ‘A precautionary measure’ he’d sneered when Nicky had asked.

“Is that okay?” Neil says, suddenly standing above Andrew, head cocked.

“It’s acceptable,” Andrew replies, and opens his hand. Neil presses the triple fudge into his palm, and produces a plastic spoon from the shopping bag to balance on top.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to wait,” he explains, mouth quirked.

Andrew ignores him, hooking his finger in the plastic seal and breaking it apart. Neil collapses into the couch next to him, tossing his feet up over Andrew’s lap and dropping the bag on the carpet. Andrew looks at him. “It’ll melt.”

“Eat fast,” Neil says, and grabs Andrew’s first spoonful for himself.

“I should’ve let the FBI take you.”

“You should’ve,” Neil says seriously, “Now I’m your problem full-time.” He leans in enough that Andrew can see the chocolate in the corner of his mouth, the complicated relationship between his freckles and his burns —


He’s yanked back to the present by Nicky’s frantic voice, a high discordant thing like a wrong note in a bad piece of music. The rest of the foxes crest over the slant of the hallway, a wave of good intentions that pushes Andrew back into the wall and takes his breath. He can’t deal with them, he can’t escape to somewhere else when prying voices are trying to keep him here. He can’t be fighting to see Neil with foxes holding his hands behind his back.

“What’s the news,” Allison asks when they’re close enough, looking uncharacteristically haggard with her lipstick wearing away and her shirt untucked.

Andrew shakes his head.

“He’s not…” Dan starts to ask, horrified, and Andrew’s fists clench so hard his knuckles crack.

“No,” Matt says firmly. “The monster would be ripping this place apart.”

Andrew produces a knife instantly, and renee catches his wrist, eyes hard and terrible above her smile. “You’re going to get yourself kicked out of the hospital.”

He hates it, he hates it, because it’s the only thing that could’ve made him stop.

He drops the knife on the floor and Renee quietly stoops to pick it up and pocket it.

“He’s going to be okay, Andrew,” Nicky says earnestly, skirting carefully around Renee to stand in front of him.

“He’s survived worse,” Kevin agrees, an old haunted look on his face.

“Don’t,” Andrew says. It’s all he can manage.

There’s a knife in his chest and Neil has the handle; if he dies now the blade never comes out. If he dies it won’t matter how much armour Andrew puts on, the knife is already in, always.

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ladymayhem505  asked:

I've really gotten into bnha! it's such a good manga, I stopped at chapter 117 and I have to say I'm a bit confused about Bakugou (tbh I can't really say I like him that much, he's kinda annoying) did he know about one for all the whole time? Is he jealous of Izuku?

That’s totally awesome dude! you have fallen into bnha hell and now you’re like the rest of us ouo

Please do not hate Bakugou, he might be a little hard to understand, but he’s a real sweetheart. As for your question, no he didn’t know about OFA when Izuku indirectly told him about it the first time. When Izuku first told Bakugou about his quirk, Bakugou thought he was just talking nonsense,

he shrugged it off and he didn’t bother to think about it because he was still pissed off about losing the hero vs villain training stuff. What I think is that Bakugou continued to watch  Izuku grow and get stronger, more confident, and brave. Then, he probably thought “maybe what Deku said about being entrusted with a quirk wasn’t just a load of bull” of course he didn’t think about All Might entrusting Izuku with his power because All Might doesn’t break his bones after he uses his power…. at least until Izuku stopped breaking his body and learned how to control his quirk better in less than one week.

I think this was where he was totally convinced that Izuku was telling the truth about being entrusted with a quirk, he didn’t say it but I feel like this is what he was  thinking. He probably put some more thought into it afterwards but he still couldn’t put his finger on it.

AFO said All Might had gotten weaker… and that obviously means that they knew each other before.

Bakugou found out that they probably had some kind of connection in the past from listening to their conversation, but he couldn’t exactly trace it back to Izuku just yet. While he was worried about All Might, he was probably thinking about Izuku at the same time. All Might getting weaker… Izuku suddenly getting a quirk… of course Bakugou knew that giving your quirk to someone else was physically impossible. But then, Ragdoll lost her quirk, and AFO had the ability to literally take away people’s quirk at the snap of a finger, plus the Noumu had multiple quirks, so the odds of passing on a quirk to someone else were pretty high.

This is where Bakugou was finally able to connect the dots together, All Might sent a message that everyone interpreted as a victory, but only Izuku was able to interpret it differently from everyone else. At first, I used to think that maybe Bakugou was feeling sympathetic for Izuku here, since All Might would probably never be the same and Izuku loves All Might so much. But no. He was like  “oh. He really did give his power to Deku” so the next question on his mind was “WHY?”

Bakugou knew about All Might and Izuku since the Kamino arc, but he just wanted to hear it from one of them. I mean look at his face here.

He even asked All Might but of course All Might didn’t tell him directly (I also think that All Might had a feeling that Bakugou was finally able to put the pieces together) so going to Izuku was the next best option, because Izuku, being the timid boy he is, would definitely tell him what he wanted to hear.

I don’t want to say anything that’ll be a spoiler for you (you are at one of the best arcs in bnha right now)… it’s not that Bakugou felt jealous or anything… he was just like questioning his goals, and his choices because he was like:

They both looked up to All Might, they both aspired to be a hero, but Bakugou was always stronger, he was always better, but All Might saw Izuku, he chose Izuku instead even though Bakugou admired him just as much as Izuku did. I do think that he felt a little pang of jealousy at a point… but he was mostly pissed off at himself above all. If OFA was passed onto Kirishima, and Bakugou found out about it, he wouldn’t really be bothered by it. But the fact that it was someone he’d known for a long time, and the fact that that person who just happened to be a weak good for nothing was chosen…. irritated him.

It’s not Bakugou’s fault that he’s like this, he’s just used to always being the best, he grew up constantly surrounded by praise, he was never scolded for being an asshole… and all of this just led to him getting an inflated ego. That is, until he got into U.A. It was U.A that made him realize that there are people stronger than him, it made him realize that he wasn’t the best anymore and he couldn’t get away with doing anything that he wanted.

Bakugou attacked Izuku in middle school, in front of the teacher but the teacher just shrugged it off as a bunch of kids messing around, because he didn’t even think that there was a way for Izuku to get into U.A either. Bakugou literally ran out to attack Izuku in front of the whole class again at U.A, but Aizawa stopped him unlike his middle school teacher. After this, his world continued to crumble around him, first he lost to the boy who he NEVER EVEN IMAGINED HE’D EVER LOSE TO IN HIS LIFE.

The poor boy almost had a mental breakdown here, this was the second time he was being humiliated, with the first time being with the sludge villain. Things just went south for Bakugou throughout his first months in U.A.

Then, in the sports festival, all he wanted was a simple victory, he just wanted to win so he could showcase his power to the world. He wanted to earn it. But Shouto just stood there, he didn’t take him seriously (even though it wasn’t actually his fault because he had a lot of things on his mind), but he took Izuku seriously, Izuku of all people, when he was clearly stronger than him, but Izuku somehow managed to get Shouto to use his fire. It’s as if Shouto didn’t even care about winning anymore, because he literally just stood there and allowed Bakugou to push him out of the ring.

It’s like Shouto just let him win, and a false victory is not what Bakugou wanted. 

Then there was the hosu arc, Bakugou chose Best Jeanist for his field training because he was one of the top 5 heroes in the world, and that seemed like a great way to gain popularity, but what did he get?

A freaking make over and tight jeans?! He didn’t even do anything worthwhile with Best Jeanist, and then Izuku suddenly got stronger out of the blue. Then of course there was the Kamino arc, and All Might losing OFA. Bakugou felt responsible for that 

The hero world changed in one night, and All Might probably would’ve still had his power if he didn’t get kidnapped. Right here, he’s in shock, and he’s just feeling extremely guilty.

Even his mom said he was the reason for everything that happened. Although this was portrayed as a humorous scene, it still must have hurt him a lot.

The hero license exam arc was a good way for him to get his mind off of the whole incident in Kamino, but even during that arc he was constantly being reminded of everything that happened. Like here:

I don’t think that he was mainly angry at Izuku for saving All Might here, sure he was pissed off at the fact that Izuku saved the day again, but I think he was just feeling bad because he literally just caused All Might to lose his power and now he was responsible for All Might almost getting crushed by a boulder. He was angry at himself.

Even after he failed, they still reminded him of the fact that All Might can no longer be All Might because he “fell”, and he felt that it was his fault. The whole reason why the exam was conducted was because, the heroes needed all the help they could get from people with quirks suitable for acting as heroes (since you can’t use a quirk without a license or qualification) because All Might was no longer round to help. 

The poor boy had to carry this guilt throughout the exam, and after that he just had a bunch of emotions that he desperately wanted to get off his chest. Bakugou is a good guy, he’s an awesome character who’s been through so much, he’s gone from saying that he’s better than everyone else to encouraging his friends. 

This is just me babbling about how awesome Bakugou is because I really, really want you to like him… anyway chapter 118 will most likely change your opinion about Bakugou though.

…I should’ve just told you to ask @saisai-chan​ though (she is the bnha encyclopedia)… she’s a lot better at analyzing characters than me… this meta stuff ain’t my thing.

Whiskey and Sunsets

I blame @badwolf626 for giving me the courage to post this xD Hope it isn’t terrible. My version of the party and sunset scene to better fit my Ryder’s personality! Spoiler warning for parts of Reyes’s romance. Ye be warned.

           Emun had enough of this party. She hadn’t exactly wanted to go to begin with, but since Reyes had insisted she decided to take a chance. She didn’t know why she was drawn to the man, he was far too smooth for her liking, but she couldn’t help the thrill she felt when she was around him. Keema wasn’t exactly helping either; the Angaran had made it a point to tell her how much he liked her, about how much he’d talked about her lately, and much to her chagrin had felt her cheeks heating up at her comments.

           She looked around the party; people were drunk, Sloane had been watching her moves, and Reyes had ditched her for some purpose she assumed wasn’t good. She was done. “Reyes, where are you?” There wasn’t any answer over her comm and she let out a sigh. She was going to tell him she was going, but if he didn’t even have the decency to respond— ‘I believe Mr. Vidal has slipped into a side room.’ SAM chimed privately and she groaned about SAM’s meddling.

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trekdreams  asked:

Okay so I'm a sucker for grumpy doctor!McCoy and clumsy injured!Jim. Maybe something where Jim has to go to Bones for some sort of ongoing therapy, and they start secretly falling for each other. Then one day Jim turns up to find that Bones has referred him to another doctor (he feels he can't treat Jim due to his inappropriate feelings for him). Jim is sad but eventually tracks Bones down and confronts him and please can there be a kiss at the end? Thank you :)

Sorry this took so long!

  • Bones has had a few setbacks in his life recently. He’s divorced, he lost the custody battle over his daughter due to his drinking, and then he gets demoted at work on top of that. “Just temporarily,” Uhura explains, and she looks genuinely compassionate, “we don’t want to lose you, you’re the best surgeon we have, but you need to focus on yourself first.” And just like that, Leonard has to focus on therapy for other patients. It doesn’t make sense to Bones at the time - how should he take care of other people if he can’t take care of himself? - but Uhura promises it’s good for him, and that is that.
  • His first patient is Jim Kirk, a soldier who took a bullet to the back to save his team. For many months, Jim has been bedridden. Paralyzed, not expecting him to ever walk again. But then feeling in his toes started coming back, and Bones shows up for his first session. That time, Jim is still in bed. He looks skinnier than on his photos, his hair messy like he’s only just woken up. “Morning, doc,” Jim says. “Mr. Kirk,” Bones replies with a stiff nod. He’s not here for small talk. So he goes straight to work. Hands gentle on Jim’s legs, fingertips dipping in his skin. “Let me know when it hurts,” Bones says. He’s just touching all those muscles, massaging them a little, and applying a bit of force to them. Jim doesn’t say anything, but Bones can tell by the way he cringes and winces that he’s definitely not comfortable. “You gotta be honest with me,” Bones says with a sigh, quickly reminded of why he prefers near dead patients over the therapy he used to enjoy a lot. “How honest?” Jim asks, soft laugh coming out more like a breathless whimper. “Very honest.” “Okay, I think you’re incredibly attractive.” Bones grits his teeth at the man’s joke, squeezing his leg just a little harder to hear Jim gasp. 
  • Jim is sitting up straight the second time Bones visits him. His hair is styled somewhat, at least, and he’s smiling. “What’s up, doc?” “How are your legs today?” Bones asks, straight to the point. “They are not moving by themselves.” Jim says, reaching out with his hands to grab on to his legs, and he pulls them up a little, but he looks incredibly uncomfortable when he does so. “We’ll work on it.” Bones promises. 
  • And slowly, Jim is progressing. Bones spends an hour twice a day; once in the morning, and once in the late afternoon. Jim is always trying to talk to him rather than actually work on his legs, because he seems to be in pain every time. “You’re gonna have to get out of your comfort zone if you want to walk again,” Bones says, helping Jim sit up with his legs over the edge of his bed. “I don’t want to do those stretching exercises,” Jim says, “it feels like we’re not getting anywhere. Sometimes, you gotta run before you can walk.” Bones is about to ask him what that means in this case, but he finds out soon enough when Jim pushes himself off bed to stand up straight. Of course, his legs give in almost immediately, and Bones quickly wraps both his arms around him to keep him up. “Are you insane?” Bones asks, and Jim’s ignoring the tears in his eyes - too in pain to focus on what Bones is saying. Bones helps him sit back down, barely resisting the urge to slap this idiot in the face.
  • But after two weeks of pushing himself and falling nearly every time, Jim is standing on his own legs again. Not for very long, and he can’t really make himself take any steps, but he’s standing. And he looks so proud. He calls his mom almost immediately after, and somehow, that tugs at Bones’ chest in a way he hasn’t felt in a while. “I think I can go back to surgery now,” he tells Uhura, who leans back in her chair and raises an eyebrow at him. “Because you got a stubborn soldier to stand up straight for a few seconds? You’re barely standing up yourself. Your breath still smells like alcohol. You’re lucky I’m not putting you in rehab.” Bones rolls his eyes. “I guess that’s a no, then.” “You guessed right.”
  • “I am actually an oncologist,” Bones tells Jim. They’re both sitting on Jim’s bed, sharing vending machine sodas and chips, “and an immunologist.” “Yeah? What are you doing trying to get me standing on my legs?” Jim asks, munching on his chips. “My boss don’t think I’m emotionally stable,” Bones says, realizing how that sounds, so he adds a quick “or whatever.” Jim raises an eyebrow. "My ‘boss’ didn’t think me emotionally stable, either,“ Jim says, “always said I was a ‘kid with no discipline’.  I guess sometimes bosses can be right.” “You literally took a bullet to save someone’s life,” Bones says, “I don’t think your captain could’ve been more wrong.” Jim’s lips curl into a soft smile. “Anyone would’ve done it.” “I think you’re wrong there,” Bones says. “I think hardly anyone would. That’s brave.” “So is admitting you’re emotionally unstable,” Jim points out, and Bones huffs a little. 
  • Jim’s pretty skilled in a wheelchair. Incredibly fast, and incredibly annoying to catch. How does someone in a wheelchair get so good at hide and seek? Bones catches Jim eventually, pushing him towards one of the therapy rooms. “I’m taking this thing away from you if you keep leaving your room,” Bones warns him sternly, but Jim just grins. He grins less so when Bones puts him to work. He helps him on his feet, then makes him walk on crutches. After just a few steps, Jim’s sweating, complaining, and though he doesn’t want to give up, it takes a few minutes until Bones has to wrap his arms around him and guide him back in his chair. “You giving up that easily?” Bones asks, and Jim actually manages to kick Bones’ leg, though he immediately regrets doing so. Bones crouches down, both his hands on Jim’s legs. “I’m going to get you walking again.” He says. “I promise.” “That’s easy for you to say,” Jim says, “I’m the one doing all the hard work here.” And Bones laughs, helping Jim back up on his feet slowly.
  • Bones has other patients. But none tug his heartstrings as much as Jim does. Jim is quirky, he’s stubborn as hell. Whenever Bones isn’t with him, Jim’s texting him. Even in the middle of the night, Bones receives a ‘so I tried to walk on my own and I’m on the floor in the shower can you call me a nurse?’ But rather than actually calling a nurse, Bones is there to pick him back up on his feet. “Did you lose your mind? You didn’t even bring your crutches!” Bones hisses, and Jim wraps his arms around Bones’ shoulder as the other drags him back to bed. “What are you still doing here? It’s midnight,” Jim says, sliding back down in bed and smiling almost fondly as Bones tucks him in. Bones shrugs, but Jim looks at him and expecting an answer. “I don’t like being home,” Bones says. Jim looks at him curiously, shifting a little and patting his bed so Bones can sit next to him. “No, that’s okay.” “Sit.” And so Bones sits down next to him. It’s maybe the first time Bones opens up to anyone about his failed marriage. How he’s over his wife, sure, they had grown apart a year before they even decided to divorce. But it still sucks to be alone. And it sucks not to be with his daughter. That, and he’s gotta make sure the other doctors don’t mess up surgeries. Jim listens intently and nods. “I understand,” he says. “I’m afraid to go home, too. It’s gonna be empty, and alone. And I definitely don’t want my mom to move in with me for a while.” He laughs casually, his hand is resting on Bones’ leg and it’s definitely distracting. “You’re handsome enough to get yourself a pretty girl to take care of you,” Bones says, and Jim huffs a little. ”Here I have a handsome doctor. I like that better,” he says. Bones catches his gaze, and immediately he wishes he hadn’t. Because Jim is staring at him with these big, curious eyes, that mischievous spark as visible in his gaze as it is in that smirk on his face. And before he can even stop himself, he’s leaning in closer. Jim does, too, until their lips touch and Jim’s hands immediately slide around his shoulder, pulling him in closer and not letting him go.
  • “I can’t work with Jim anymore,” Bones tells Uhura. “You gotta transfer his care over to Sulu. He’s more than capable. I’ll take any other patient, but I can’t do Jim.” “Why not?” Uhura asks. Bones starts making up a bullshit reason about Jim being an insufferable piece of shit, but Uhura sees right through that, so Bones sighs. “It’s inappropriate. I like him. Doctors and patients are not supposed to…” “Okay,” Uhura says. “Okay?” “Yeah. I’ll transfer him to Sulu.” Uhura says, and Bones is fairly sure that’s a smug smile she’s seeing. Like she knew this would happen, all along. “Thanks,” Bones says, somewhat stiffly. “McCoy?” Uhura continues, watching Bones getting up from his seat, “we’d love to have you back as a surgeon.” “Thanks,” Bones repeats, “but, uh, I think I’m quite enjoying this therapy thing.”
  • “Dude, what the Hell?” Jim demands next time Bones sees him. “You got me a different doctor?” “Yeah,” Bones replies, rubbing the back of his neck a little. “Hey, but you walked all the way to my office to come and talk to me, that’s impressive.” “Why did you refer me to a different therapist?” “Sulu is good,” Bones says. “I don’t care that he’s good. I don’t need any other doctor,” Jim replies. He stumbles over to Bones’ desk and sits down. Bones definitely detects his heavy breathing, and the way his hands are trembling. “I can’t work with you anymore,” Bones says, and Jim looks shocked. “Why not?” “Because. We kissed. It’s inappropriate-” “Who cares?” “Hospital regulation cares,” Bones says. He gets up, Jim looks both angry and confused at the same time. “I’m happy to help you,” Bones continues, “but I can’t do so as your therapist.” “But why not,” Jim presses. “Because,” Bones says, “I want to kiss you. I want to take you out to my favorite bar, and I want to make you feel less alone in that empty apartment of yours. I don’t want to be your doctor.” And Jim stares at him in shock. He reaches out, grabbing the collar of Bones’ coat, and he pulls him in for another kiss. It’s something Bones is happy to give back to him. “You’re gonna have to help me back to my room though, Bones,” Jim says when he pulls away. “I’ll ask Sulu.” “No,” Jim says, getting up on his feet with some struggle, and he groans at how heavy his legs feel. “Help me back to my room. Not as my doctor; as my date.” “This is your definition of a date?” Bones asks, sliding an arm around Jim’s back as they slowly exit Bones’ office. “We’ll get some vending machine snacks, we’ll make out a lot. Yeah, that’s a date.” “That’s a terrible date,” Bones laughs, “can I still change my mind on liking you?” “No,” Jim says, and he’s leaning in to kiss Bones’ cheek, “no takebacks.” 

anonymous asked:

random prompt: dex never has to pay fines ever somehow and derek malik nurse is incredibly unchill about it and also a little too determined to break Dex's streak

“The system is rigged!” Nursey shouts. It’s not his fault he’s a little clumsy, but Ransom and Holster refuse to let up on the fines. He’s not fined often, but it still kind of irks him when it happens.

“Calm down, Nursey,” Dex laughs, “That’s only, like, your fourth fine. Chowder’s had six this week.”

“Shut up,” he mumbles. “How many fines have you had?”

“None,” Dex shrugs.

“What.” It’s not a question.

“I haven’t been fined,” he repeats. Nursey’s irritation is about to grow tenfold.


“Yep.” The way he says it is so nonchalant that Nursey’s about to explode. How could he not notice that Dex hasn’t been fined?

“Oh, it’s on,” he practically growls.

“What’s on? Nursey, what are you going to do?” he asks. Nursey relishes in the slight panic in his voice.

“Chill, Dex,” he says, still a little too fond of the way that word never fails to rile Dex up.

“Goddamnit, Nursey.”

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KaraMel Fanfic #4

Title: Someone Who Belongs With Her

Prompt: Kara confronts Mon-El about the kiss they shared while he was dying.

Also posted on AO3.

“Well, I’m not that surprised that he tried to kiss you. You’re a pretty good kisser.” A laugh bubbled up from Kara’s chest as she heard Mon-El’s comment, ready to respond with a clever come back, when she suddenly stopped as she realized what he’d said.

The conversation had actually started pretty normally. They were at the DEO headquarters, getting ready for training with a punching bag designed for Kara’s strength, as Mon-El brought up what had happened the previous night in the alien bar.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, to which Kara responded with a scoff. That guy Mon-El was talking about was the alien—Kara didn’t know which planet he was from—that literally drooled all over her as she ordered drinks for herself and Mon-El. He was dead drunk, a beer in his hand, and not to mention he smelled so horribly of alcohol that Kara had barely held in the contents of her dinner. If he wasn’t that drunk, he would actually be quite attractive, but no good look could make up for that smell.

“You mean that jerk drunk off his ass that tried to kiss me before he even introduced himself?” Kara asked as Mon-El landed a punch on the punching bag, his strength shaking it. A smile pulled Mon-El’s lips.

“You didn’t seem to mind it,” he teased her, yet somehow Kara could see the tension in Mon-El’s shoulders. Attributing it to the weariness, she ignored it.

“There’s a difference between not minding it and trying to be nice. And you saw me banging his head against the counter.” Mon-El’s smile turned to a grin with her words as he glanced at him, stopping for a second.

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Everyone has a daemon. Small children, grandparents, commoners and kings. Even Separated people have one. They’re not entirely… right… but they have one. They stay with you from the moment you’re born until the instant you die. Every single living person on the planet has a daemon. Danny doesn’t.
One of the earliest home videos the Fentons have is one of Jazz’s Maslin and Danny’s Aesina, when the latter was barely one year old. Aesina was following Maslin around, copying Jazz’s daemon every time he shifted as Danny giggled in the background and Jazz shouted words that sounded vaguely like English, but were too garbled by child-speak and the camera’s microphone to understand. Maslin tried to mostly ignore his shadow, but when he’d turned into a cat Aesina had pounced, he’d swiped, and then they were both being held by the scruff of their necks by a displeased-looking monkey.
Jazz hasn’t seen Aesina in weeks, ever since the accident. Her parents haven’t noticed; she’s barely seen them either, too busy investigating the newly opened portal. It’s not particularly unusual, either, but usually Aesina would hide because she and Danny were playing a prank, and instead… Nothing. Not a blip, not a peep, and Danny seems to be too stressed by school to be planning anything elaborate, even if she thought he could pull it off. But it’s not like a daemon can just disappear…

Danny and Aesina are probably the most different a human and a Daemon can be, although they certainly share a sense of humor, no matter how many times their parents fall for Danny’s “I had no idea what she was planning” routine. And it’s not Jazz’s fault that Maslin is a fan of revenge. Jazz is, of course, above such things.
But the biggest difference between Danny and his Daemon is in how they deal with conflict; Danny shrinks in the face of any kind of tension and Aesina? Well, most often she grows. Jazz still remembers the first time Danny met Dash. He was in sixth grade, and Jazz doesn’t know how it started but it ended with Danny trying very hard and extremely unsuccessfully to hide an enormous pissed off bear in the middle of the hallway. Dash’s Pookie has been afraid of her ever since, which only seems to make the bully madder, but there wasn’t much Jazz can do about it. She’d started highschool the next year, and that’s when she and Danny started drifting apart.

“Danny, where’s Aesina?”
“She settled as a flee.” His tone is flat and depressed. He doesn’t hesitate, or blush, or do anything that might indicate a REASON he’d been hiding this from everyone.
Jazz doesn’t believe him.
By the time Danny was twelve, they were pretty sure Aesina would Settle as a bird. For one thing, Danny was kind of obsessed with flight and Astro Camp, and for another you  could always get her to shift by hiding somewhere and then jumping out when least expected. Invariably, there was a flurry of feathers that made a beeline to Danny’s shoulder, and then one pair of bird eyes, and one pair of bright, clear, blue, would turn to stare at Jazz. It was hilarious.
And while sometimes the daemon would be a falcon, or a vulture, or a dove, her default was pretty much always a bird.
Jazz just wishes she had the time she’d turned into a chicken on tape.
Jazz confronts Sam and Tucker. They stick to Danny’s story, but Jazz doesn’t miss the way Tucker gets quiet and fidgety, like something’s spooked him, and Sam’s daemon switches from a spider to a snake, wrapping around her arms and collarbone like he’s afraid to let her go. Tucker’s got a hand over his pocket, and she’s pretty sure he’s holding his daemon close as well. Their reactions freak Jazz out more than anything so far, enough that she almost believes them, just so she doesn’t have to consider the alternative.
Aesina had this way about her, when she got defensive. Yes, in extreme situations she’d shift to something large, but most of the time she’d puff herself up, spread her wings just slightly out from her body, right before she started arguing. The worst was always when she turned into a hummingbird because that allowed her to literally get right up in your face, and forced you to feel intimidated by two-inch bird. Her beak usually opened about the same time Danny’s head hit the table.
Now, though, there’s no one to defend Danny when he gets in a conflict. Sam and Tucker try, but humans are much less intimidating than bears, and without his daemon there’s nothing to stop Dash from slamming Danny into lockers.
Jazz has seen the bruises, even if their parents don’t, and it’s not fair of Aesina to leave him like this.
Jazz doesn’t understand. Because she can’t have left. She has to still be here… but where is she? Maslin has started noticing the way Danny looks at him, like he’s sad, and scared, and…
A person’s daemon is supposed to be with them from the moment they are born until the day they die.
Danny’s still here. So where is his daemon?
The ghost is talking to her brother. Okay, the ghost is talking to another ghost, but she keeps asking him where his daemon is and… There’s only one person Jazz knows who can’t find his daemon.
Ghosts don’t have daemons. The cat Ms. Spectra was pretending was hers was actually another ghost. And now she was mocking this ghost for not having one?
It has to be Danny. Because Jazz didn’t believe in ghosts until two days ago, but it’s the best explanation she’s had in months. Because Aesina has been missing ever since Danny got into an accident with the Ghost Portal. Because Danny has been depressed and quiet for months, but he’s been much worse since he started seeing Spectra, and she’s using phrases she knows she’s heard from Danny himself.
Maslin has realized the same thing, and is clinging to her side. She doesn’t want to think about Danny losing his daemon, about what it would be like for Maslin to just suddenly be… gone.
But he’s still her baby brother and if Aesina isn’t there to stand up for him, well… Jazz is.
Jazz tells Danny she loves him. She tells him he can tell her anything. She tells him that she’s there for him and will do anything she can to help.
She doesn’t tell him that she knows. How can she? She doesn’t understand, will never be able to understand, what it’s like to live without a daemon. What it’s like to… die.
She can only try to offer what comfort she can.
It feels weird, when Maslin crawls into Danny’s room and presses against him. It feels uncomfortable and invasive, but Danny is crying and holding him close and if Jazz could bring back his daemon she would but she can't… So she can suck it up and give him this.
Danny’s ghost sense goes off. He groans and stands, then takes a deep breath, puffing out his chest, standing straight and tall in a  way that he doesn’t when he’s human, seeming to grow even before his feet leave the ground. And then he transforms, ready to fight, her tiny baby brother facing off in the air, staring down a ghost 10 times his size…
And for a second, she doesn’t see her brother, doesn’t see a broken human missing his other half.
Instead she sees a hummingbird, hovering in midair, chest out, ready to fight.

The PTA Human Parents from My Perspective
  • Linda: The snooty older mom version of Regina George (basically everyone in PTA has been victimized by this woman); has the “can I speak to a manager” haircut and posts those dumb minion memes and wine jokes on Facebook; wants to be the alpha mom but she sucks at being a mom; has an adorable kid who is somehow not an asshole like her, but she doesn't deserve this kid because she's rude and always puts too much pressure on the kiddo; wears mom jeans and tacky shirts God Linda your fashion is a crime; she dresses her kid in dumb outfits too leave that poor cinnamon roll alone; tries too hard to be a leader; overall bully which is why Sans butts heads with her a lot; she is a shit talker tho but as soon as you say something back to her she plays the victim and acts all booty hurt; you're so fake Linda lmao this is why asgore doesn't even like you and he's the one who's the nicest out of the crew; she's the only person to quiet hand frisk and Jamal and she thinks she's being helpful like fuck you Linda; basically Linda thinks she's in charge of everything lmao okay Linda keep playing pretend leader
  • Helen: Is actually not much of an asshole, but she follows whatever Linda does because she has no opinions or free will of her own; brunette with that mom hair cut; her husband is one of the guys Sans actually likes cuz the dude is chill and doesn't take David's bullshit; isn't a sucky cook but Sans would never admit that bc Helen can be annoying; literally is a racist and doesn't even realize it wtf Hellen shut your mouth stop talking shit about Keisha; her kids aren't vaccinated bc she believes vaccines give kids autism; don't you just want to fight her; puts her kids on dog leashes bc she's a lazy parent; has two sons and a daughter
  • Diana: literally nobody likes her she tries to force the kids to eat her gluten free vegan baking crap and it's awful go away Diana you can't cook; brunette; is the shade queen; constantly misgenders frisk on purpose bc she is a vampire who feeds off drama; is the first person to make rude comments about papyrus's cooking which is why undyne wants to fight her; homophobic prick; literally was the first person to try to pick a fight with toriel which is why she got dunked on lmao eat that Diana; has two kids both girls; one time frisk beat her kid in the spelling bee and Diana never got over it; she still holds that grudge to this day; you're so petty Diana this is why nobody wants to invite you anywhere; thinks it's funny to be an ableist asshole; she once quiet handed frisk but Keisha went off on her and she never did it again
  • Becky: Becky is a mess; get your life together Becky; she's not even a bad person she is just a wreck; get it together girl; a red head who is trying to get her life together; nobody really knows much about her except for the fact that her husband died while serving in the military and that kind of messed her up; Keisha likes her though and the two of them tend to sit beside each other; Becky doesn't really talk tho; but hey Becky can sew and is really talented with making scarves; lost a kid so she understands toriel's pain and the one time she went off on Diana was because Diana brought up how toriel has lost a child and that frisk wasn't her real kid; Becky fucking dragged Diana through the mud lmao Diana deserved it; protect Becky she is just a mom trying to raise her kid and also get over the trauma of losing her husband
  • Keisha: one of the few black parents in this white dominated school; tries to fit in with the other parents but Linda constantly tries to embarrass her bc she is a young mom; pretty chill and tries to ignore what the other moms say but sometimes she just loses her cool and goes off; has those quick comebacks tho; when she is on the offensive she is merciless and goes for blood lmao don't think she won't bring up the fact that Linda can't keep a husband Keisha don't give a fuck; she is pretty helpful; her and Becky are good fiend; her son is autistic which is why she get really pissed when she sees anyone quiet hand Frisk or her son Jamal; pretty good cook and on good terms with Sans; moved to this school so her kid could have a better life than she did; toriel and her are good friends they share cooking recipes and Keisha's kid just adores toriel; protect Keisha from Linda's wrath 2kforever
  • David: Fucking asshat who supports Donald trump and is a sexist, racist jerk; homophobic too; you know what think of a Texan and how shitty they are; that's David right there; cowboy boots and everything; he acts like he's a big shot but really he isn't; his hair is a disaster; kinda looks likes Donald trump's shitty toupee; said shit about mettaton and almost got killed by everyone lmao don't talk shit David you're just mad that nobody loves you the way everybody loves mettaton; sans would fight him but toriel's promise still binds him bc she said the promise applies to the outside world too; dangit goat mom why must you be nice even to this buttplug like David deserves to get falcon punched in the throat; actually David kinda reminds people of that one gym teacher they all hated; makes fun of kids bc he's a douche bag just fuck off David; nobody likes him but they can't get rid of him; he literally never does shit to help; fucking contribute you wanker; his kid is a bully too; good job David way to parent your kid you useless potato
  • Pete: a fuckin tool; basically only backs up whatever David says bc he's a tool; stop being a tool Pete it's getting annoying; did i mention he's a tool literally Pete stop kissing David's ass; Pete wouldn't be bad if he wasn't a tool; fucking stop agreeing with David you tool
  • Andy: Eyyyyy everybody fucking loves Andy; he has those cool lame dad jokes; he wears bow ties cuz he thinks they make him look snazzy; he can actually barbecue unlike David who just burns the shit outta the food and calls it barbecue; he doesn't misgender Frisk; how the fuck is he married to Helen he's a cinnamon roll too pure for this PTA from hell; he wears glasses and isn't a dick holy shit this man is perfect; keeps sans somewhat sane; he's quiet tho and doesn't really like being confrontational; but don't think that means he's complacent nope he'll speak up when the situation calls for it; has a really hearty laugh man you wanna laugh with him cuz it's so great; loves san's pun; often times will contribute a dramatic whispered “oooooooooooohhhhhh” whenever sans says something funny or if sans tells a good pun; certified cool dad

gri-clover  asked:

OH HELL I CAN'T DECIDE between this one: “So, is there anyone you’re secretly crushing on?” and this one: “If I see another couple holding hands, I’ll… I’ll-” :3 thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks Beeeeeeeeeeeeells! love ya

Awww Gri I love you too babe! I mixed the prompt and put a dash of Allydia in there for you and it got BIG, I hope you like it! All my love and gratitude to @mahnaxmahna​  for the beta work on this you’re amazing!

Stiles hated valentine’s day.

“No, that’s not true. It’s not like I hate it, okay? I just think it is a day made up for capitalists to earn money. I mean there is a whole section of the market just for it? It’s flower shops, food companies, teddy bears, restaurants, hotels, and a lot of our entertainment section is directioned to a day of the year made for us to spend money. It’s ridiculous.”

“You know that you actually sound like a whiny bitch without a date, right? Trust me on this Stiles, you don’t want to be that bitch. You want to be the fierce bitch who get’s the girl, or the guy, or the non binary person. Sometimes your pansexuality tires me. I mean, I have to cover all the bases, while you aren’t getting on anyone’s bases,” Lydia told him for tenth time.

They were lazing around Lydia’s office, waiting for the last print of pictures to decide which one they would put in the current issue, but their photographer was late. Stiles was currently lying in Lydia’s expensive couch that was indeed more comfortable than Stiles bed, while Lydia had her legs up on the desk. Perks of being the Editor in Chief and the creative director of the QUEER magazine.

“Right, why not throw it in your best friend’s face that he’s not getting laid, or getting loved. And also insult his sexuality in the process. Someday I’ll believe you and file a lawsuit against you, Lyds.”

“As if you would ever sue me. First, you know you would lose because Allison would kick your lawyer’s ass in the next generation, and second, you love me too much to risk it. Talking about Ally, I want to tell you something, but I don’t know if you can keep your bloody mouth shut.”

“What? Lydia? You can’t just look to me and say, look I gotta tell you something but I can’t. I have anxiety and I’m also very curious and nosy, you know I need to know, and I need to know now! Besides I would never tell anyone your secret.”

“You would. If it was anything related to Ally, you would sell my soul in a blink of an eye.” She gave him a meaningful look and he had to yield.

“Okay, you’re right. I would tell Ally. But she’s my sister Lydia, it’s like my duty.”

“I’m not criticizing the fact you put my girlfriend first Stiles. I would never get between you two, you know that, but I want this to be kept secret. I need it to be.”

Stiles sat up and took a second to look at Lydia, really look at her, and he noticed a emotion so rare, that it was almost like a pod person had taken control of his best friend’s body.

Lydia Martin was insecure, and there was only one reason for her to feel like that.

Keep reading

Crestwood Analysis: Sad Lavellans, Angry Lavellans, and Solas’s Cowardice

I wanted to write about the different break-up options in Crestwood and how, at least for me, the differences play out emotionally in the aftermath, based on whether you choose the Sad (“I love you”) or Angry (“Don’t do this to me”) options. I’ve never played or headcanoned the third and, honestly, one truly hopeful option before (“I believe in us”) and so have less to say about that, but I would be interested if anyone can offer their perspective per the Hopeful option, ie: such a generous response to such a cowardly act. My Lavellans have both been too brash and too young for that kind of immediate sense of perspective. Note that this is not an argument in favor of any one response, just my own personal reading of how emotional dynamics play out differently between Solas and Lavellan post-Crestwood, based on the different responses I’ve chosen in the past. Also, sorry for the length of this post. I tried to shorten it, but it just kept getting longer, so…yeah. I threw it all in. Reckless abandon!

I am not sure what the most popular option has been in Crestwood. There’s no way to know. For me, with my first Lavellan, I went full Sad. This is because it felt tragically romantic, like when Angel breaks up with Buffy in season three, or when Edward breaks up with Bella in New Moon. I am a sap and a masochist that way. But for whatever reason, I had a really hard time with this option, especially in the aftermath. It seemed strangely contradictory to me, that she could be so upset, so blindsided, so terrified of losing him, and yet he merely is apologizing for “distracting [her] from [her] duty.” At this point, duty distractions, to me, seemed irrelevant, or another matter entirely. Filling in the blanks here, ie: between the balcony kiss and this—this immense sadness on her part, plus his cold response to said sadness—was difficult for me.

Of course, it hurt like hell in the moment. Obviously. I made a Tumblr. But for whatever reason, afterward, I had a really hard time headcanoning this one, ie: resolving all the weird, dissonant emotional chords that seemed to be going on at once in the scene, and then reconciling them with what happens later on. If they are as in love as Lavellan’s reaction suggests, why did he think merely referring to himself as a “distraction” would be enough to definitively break things off? Is he seriously that cold? Maybe. Perhaps he has to force himself to be this cold simply in order to deal with the situation. Eep. Dark. Still, I thought she would have more questions, ie: Why are you being so cold? What are you talking about, my “duty,” you’ve never cared before? I also found it hard to envision their relationship after Crestwood. I mean, unless you play it otherwise, there’s a bit of time still before the final battle with Corypheus. How did she stay away from him? Did he have to turn her away again and again? She was just so hurt in Crestwood, so confused. How could she not at least try and understand? And after the final battle, how is she so composed, speaking to Solas calmly and with what seemed to be a great deal of perspective, or at least acceptance? Perhaps others could, but I couldn’t make sense of this.

Once I got to Trespasser with my first Lavellan, I then couldn’t reconcile her desperation in Crestwood with her casual demeanor in the beginning at the Winter Palace. It seemed like she would have spent the previous two years searching for Solas frantically, and then wondering if, perhaps, he might somehow be there, at the Exalted Council (like actually be there—not throwing Qunari through eluvians and baiting her with blood trails). She was too beholden in this playthrough, and I couldn’t figure out how she could be both the calm, cool Inquisitor joking with Varric and talking marriage with Cassandra, and also be Solas’s frantic ex-girlfriend at the same time. Then, in the end, that she didn’t immediately jump into his arms when she saw him for the first time in two years felt like a major flaw. I needed her to need him more, and I was getting none of it from the game. Partially, this is an issue of the writing, but also, because I’m sort of like this emotional canon purist (ie: emotional dimensions outside of the game must resolve as they do in the game—I need it to be real), it all just ended up feeling a little bit meh. So, naturally, I started over. From the beginning. New Lavellan. I needed to get it right.

Okay, so the other night, with my new Lavellan, who I’ve been playing amidst droves of fanfic and hours of headcanon daydreams, I realized in that moment, in Crestwood, that the only possible response to his cowardly behavior seemed to be incredulity and anger. After everything they’d been through? This is how he ends it? Unbelievable. Her aggressive, physical response—shoving him, yelling, calling him a “cold-hearted son of a bitch”—felt so true in the moment. I sort of lost my breath a little bit. For some reason, the level of cowardice in his behavior (and it is—it is cowardly) seems to be compounded (or negated) by her response. If she responds by begging him to stay, telling him she loves him, this lowers the effect of his cowardice in general, because all the focus is on her emotional response to his behavior rather than the behavior itself. The cowardice has little effect on her. She seems to care less about whether what he’s doing is cowardly. She cares only that it’s happening at all. This response seems based in an unconditional fear of losing him. But if she responds by aggressively pushing him, demanding that he tell her he doesn’t care (which he can’t do, and she knows it), essentially calling him out on his cowardice, this highlights the motive behind his action rather than just the action itself. This, to me, makes his default reasoning of “duty distraction” to feel like just a cover now, ie: the first thing he could think of to say in his moment of bumbling cowardice.

The dialogue choice for the angry response reads, “Don’t do this to me!” It is the one response where the focus is on her. It is also the only response in which Lavellan walks away from Solas. The other two responses are focused on him or them (“I love you”/”I believe in us”). In both of these options, Solas walks away from Lavellan. I am tempted to draw a connection back to my earlier claims in another piece about their sexual/emotional dynamic, ie: with an angry response, this is the only time that Lavellan can be seen pulling away or walking away from Solas. It is otherwise always the other way around.

When Solas is able to walk away in the end, it makes the entire affair seem colder, and much more in stone, even as if he’d prepared himself for the coming of this very moment. But in the angry break-up, he seems completely taken off guard, especially by her response, which is physical and bitter, ie: “Tell me you don’t care.” Another dare. What she sees: He is brave enough to break up with her, but not brave enough to tell her why? I like this Lavellan, because, like in previous scenes, she is sort of putting the ball in Solas’s court. In the Fade and on the balcony, however, this has reminded Solas that he holds the power, which empowers him to continue the exchange (ie: to kiss her). But here, in Crestwood, even with the ball in his court, Solas has no way of responding. He cannot tell her the truth, but he also cannot bring himself to lie about his feelings. All he can do is take her abuse, stand there, and apologize as she walks away. He has fully lost control now—finally, and it is because of this that he is forced to reckon with his cowardice. This was powerful for me. I also knew that “cold-hearted” comment bit him. Solas is much more of a Romantic Hero during this option—far more self-hating and emotionally distraught than he was in my initial playthrough.

Because when she’s pleading for him and telling him she loves him during the sad breakup, his response is to put up his hands, to ward her off coldly, to say “I can’t. I’m sorry,” and then just walk away, leaving her there. Again at his mercy. I think my Lavellan, this time around, was a little bit sick of being “at his mercy.” She wanted more. Plus, his reaction in the sad break-up, his behavior is so cold, and so is his ability to walk away: it makes him seem more secure in the fact, if not relieved, that it is finally over—even if he’s hurt, it is held back.

I also feel that, during the angry break up scenario, his decision to break up with her does actually feel sort of believably spontaneous and cowardly and regrettable. Like, he really was gonna tell her the truth about the whole Fen’Harel thing, but he chickened out, and then the vallaslin removal was like this great, unfixable mistake, and he just legitimately realized he had lost all control of his feelings, the situation, and the relationship at large. He cannot walk away. How could he? He has no idea what’s just happened. Solas is so rarely caught by true surprise. Especially after watching him just like, own the Iron Bull in a game of head-chess entirely in banter the other day, I’m not sure he knows how to deal with even one small, legitimate moment of spontaneous indecision. Certainly not a stalemate. Because you cannot plan ahead for those. And he is prideful, and a martyr, so when caught off guard, of course he defaults to the mission, and he bails on anything so unpredictable and unwieldy as love.

Oddly enough, I’d argue that Lavellan’s angry response forces Solas to actually confront the reality of their relationship, while a sad response immediately hardens him to the situation. To avoid her tears, he must effectively switch off his humanity. He backs off, on guard. However, he lets her anger in, because he feels he deserves it. This, to me, is a good thing. Any time you can get Solas to feel, that is a good thing.

Once she’s gone, I picture Solas just like, dropping to his knees, realizing what he’s done, and, based on her reaction, terrified that there will be no going back. In the sad break-up scene, it seems like he still has an out to change his mind—if he wants to. Her reaction leaves him in control. But in the angry break-up, she is in control in the aftermath. There may be no going back, no fixing this mistake. Fen’Harel is obsessed with fixing his own mistakes. So he disappears, takes two years to suppress his feelings for her, because he has no choice, and, whether mistaken or not, doubles down on the plans he abandoned her for in the first place. Then, when he sees her again, and she is still open to him and his redemption, even somewhat forgiving, despite a modicum of, not resignation, but reason, it’s all the more hurtful. He falls so easily back into old tropes in Trespasser when he calls her vhenan, suggesting that their relationship has permeated him subconsciously, that it won’t die easy, won’t die at all. Their reunion is powerful then as, in his own very familiar, noncommittal way, he comes back around at the end (as he always does), calls her his “love,” tells her he will never forget her, takes the anchor, and, per his duty (and his nature), leaves. Again. WHY, SOLAS?

The angry break-up sets Solas up a bit differently in the immediate aftermath as well, I think, at Skyhold, ie: he’s in the wrong, and he knows it. Meanwhile, Lavellan’s anger sets her up for all of these wild reactions and methods for coping, doing just about anything to get him the hell out of her head so she can, as she puts it in the scene, “move on.”  This is very much my own headcanon, but I picture her like, heading out with the Iron Bull to anger-slay some dragons the very next day. Maybe she’ll bring Solas, too, but on the condition that he is a “powerful rift mage” and that she needs his magic if she wants to succeed. She still loves him, but in her defeat, she, like him, has grown too proud to relent. Though it hurts her, she treats Solas as a tool, a means to an end, which, considering Solas’s motives for joining the Inquisition in the first place, is ironic. And hey, I’m just trying to build a story here. I like irony.

Of course, I am still a deep romantic, and so I know that all of this is just reactive. Lavellan still loves Solas, but she is actively upset with him, searching out a way to reconcile her anger at his inexplicable cowardice and her own (apparently) unconditional love for him. Their interactions at Skyhold, as I see them, are often extended and bitter on her part, as she, starving, will do anything to draw any sort of emotional response from him at all. He, meanwhile, shows only self-loathing, taking her abuse, while trying to search out her true feelings without showing his hand. He calls her “Inquisitor” out of guilt and deference and speaks only of their final fight. It is hard for him. She may not refer to him at all, trying to get a rise out of his “cold heart.” At times, she may be downright mean, but he believes he deserves it, so just like in Crestwood, he is defeated and hard-pressed to defend himself—

Lavellan: You really don’t let anybody see under that polite mask you wear, do you?

Solas: You saw more than most.

Then, by the time it’s the end of the game, and they defeat Coryphy-tit, and the orb is shattered, Lavellan’s expression, her composure, will make sense in ways it did not when I played the sad break-up. Solas confession then (”No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had was real.”) almost reads like one more apology. It is quasi-closure. I mean, at least until you get to the end of Trespasser. After the sad break-up, I couldn’t understand her composure in this moment at the end of the main campaign. But somehow, the fact that she became angry provided her with an immediate outlet, catharsis, a way to process, and now, Lavellan can see that, no matter what, they’ve been through a great deal together, and in the end, being so angry seems foolish, even silly. Perspective begins to set in, making everything even sadder and more hopeless than it was before, but also setting up the next two years as a time in which Lavellan at least attempts to get over Solas (even if unsuccessfully), rather than spend so much time and energy searching for him.

Solas: I suspect you have questions.

I mean, you think?

The end of Trespasser is so very sad. Lost elf, come home. I haven’t gotten there yet in this playthrough, but I hope to fully understand her initial subdued response now. She had hardened herself for so long in her attempt to move on. But the more they talk about their relationship (”And so he did.”), the more she softens to him, lets him in again, remembers. Just as quickly as he falls into the old routine, so does she. At this point, the term vhenan is so loaded–a single utterance conjures a world of joyous and painful memories. He still loves her, and she loves him, but the complications are…dire. We shall see what happens.

Anyway, this is just one way to read the different Lavellan responses at Crestwood, and I would be interested in knowing how other people read their Lavellan’s response in the end. I love hearing how others have managed to reconcile their internal stories with the (often downright sparse but immensely tantalizing) material we get in the game.This is just mine.

Now scuse me while I go watch this and cry hysterically. <3

theladypeartree  asked:

Andavs, I've been sick as a dog and feeling like death :( will you tell me a story to make me laugh? But seriously not on the same caliber as The Portrait bc then I literally will die!! (I have the flu + cold +asthma= not too intense laughing!) If you can't that's okay. You can give me an update on saso ;) and if not that either at least let me know if you are having a better day than I am :)

I happened to be watching The Princess Bride when you sent this, so there was really no other way this could go. I hope you feel better!

Once upon a time, there was a boy.

Around the same time, there was another boy.

These two boys knew each other very well, and in fact, loved each other deeply, but refused to admit it. They lived to impress the other, lived for the other, but were determined to die before the other actually knew this. They hid their feelings behind bickering and insults, sneers and eyerolls, always threatening to leave, but never meaning it for a second.

The two boys were all each other had, living at the very edge of the kingdom of Beacon Hills, where there was little more than thieves and orphans like them scraping to get by. They could survive there, but they wouldn’t be able to live happily, not with the hand life had dealt them.

One boy realized that to be together in the future, they would have to part for the present. He’d heard tales from the thieves that roamed the forest, of men crossing the seas and returning with wealth and status, and knew what he had to do.

They said their goodbyes at the shore, parting without confessing their love, both too proud to be the first to give in and silently promising to say it when they were together again.

But the boy never returned to his love; his ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Hale. There were no survivors.

Five years later, there was to be a wedding. A royal wedding the likes of which had never been seen before, because the prince of Beacon Hills, Prince Jackson, was to marry a commoner—a boy from the outermost reaches of his kingdom. That very same boy who lost his love all those years ago.

The boy named Stiles.

Now this wedding wasn’t happening because the prince found this boy to be particularly beautiful or charming—even though he was, in a weird sort of way.


He’d chosen Stiles under the incorrect assumption that he was little more than a country bumpkin who could be easily manipulated in the complex world of the royal court, if not just shut up in a locked room for the rest of his life without protest.

The prince wasn’t thrilled to find just how wrong he’d been, and quickly came to hate his fierce and clever fiancé, who fought him at every opportunity, about everything from the dinner menu to international treaties.

As much as the prince hated Stiles, Stiles hated him even more, but the wedding had already been announced to the kingdom, Stiles publicly introduced, and to call it off would cause an uproar.

The people loved Stiles, the way he wasn’t really royalty, he was one of them—he didn’t have the grace or charm of the prince, he broke out of the castle on a regular basis, and he often wandered away in the middle of official processions and banquets to local shops, feigning ignorance when caught. He’d won the people over in all of a day.

Prince Jackson may have been a pompous dolt, but he knew a political advantage when he saw one, so the wedding was planned, the excitement overtaking the castle, and Stiles resigned himself to—


Derek paused and turned towards his very sick boyfriend lying next to him, cocooned in no less than four blankets. “Yes, Stiles?”

“I have a complaint.”

“Of course you do.”

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Happy Birthday Grace!!!

I made it in time yay!! Ok I cheated a little - I split the fic into two parts. So you will get the second one a little later. But this way I was still on time fufufu. :* Hope you like it my beloved blanania!!!

A good ol’ Gajevy Fantasy AU!
That’s all I’m gonna say for now because I want to keep it a surprise. But the credit for the basic prompt idea goes to fairlytailed!! Bless your mind, Ria!;)

The air was dusty, muggy, filled with dust particles which danced in the occasional ray of sunshine that made it through the thick window glass and through the forest of bookshelves.

Levy McGarden inhaled deeply.

Just how she liked it.

The pile of books in her hands towered in front of her, almost swallowing her whole. If you had approached her from the front, you might have thought a stack of books had come to life and was now venturing through the corridors of its home.

As the young woman approached an old wooden ladder - a creaky one she knew, with a wobbly latch on the seventh step - she put the pile down onto the ground with a relieved sigh, stretching her aching back.

Almost done for the day.

She would ace every last one of those tests.

With that thought in mind, she started to climb the ladder, four books in her left hand and two jammed beneath her arm.

The ladder really was old, and if she had not mounted it many times before, she might have been too scared to do so now. She safely skipped the seventh step, smiling self-pleasedly as she did so. The whole structure moaned and groaned under her - granted, very light - weight, and she thought she’d have to inform the lady on the way out, because a few kilograms more would surely be the end of the poor thing.

Or the one climbing it.

Juat as the thought crossed her mind, a small but meaningful crack resounded beneath her.

“Eep!” she squeaked, quickly scrambling up another step. The piece of wood she had just stood on crashed down onto the ground, and Levy swallowed. That sure had been close.

Relieved, she released the tight breath she had been holding.

The way down would be safer for now, she decided. For once, the books could wait.

Reaching out a tentative foot, she blindly searched for the next lowest step, trying to bridge the gap that had been opened by the broken latch. Her heart thundered in her chest. Then the tip of her shoe touched something hard.

Right. This was her way to safety.

Levy took a shaky step - and fell.

Levy awoke in a field of gold.

This was not right.

She should have awoken on the hard ground of the library, or maybe even in a hospital bed. But neither dusty library air nor clinically cleansed oxygen invaded her lungs as she inhaled deeply. Instead, it smelled of flowers.

Confused, Levy sat up.

This was not right at all.

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I’ve fallen so hard for this ship I don’t even know what to do with myself tbh.

(Sliiiiiight nsfw toward the end, but nothing graphic!)

The first time he kisses her, they are sitting beside a small campfire, wrapped in wool cloaks that help ward against the chill. They could’ve spent the night at a village inn; he told her he didn’t mind the extra bit of travel, but she’d been very firm about how she expected things to proceed now that she had joined him.

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I Can't Lose you

Summary: After Y/N is injured in a hunt, Sam is beyond angry with her. He screams an yells before leaving. But when he comes back, he tells her why he was so upset. 

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader

Warnings: Angst just a lot of angst, worthlessness, Sam is being kind of a dick, talk about death

Word Count: 1,006

Prompt: Congrats Darlin!!!!! 💕 41, 46, or 1 with Sam and angst would be wonderful! Congrats again!- @flyin-down-a-backroad ( “What the Hell were you thinking running in like that?!”)

A/N: Here you go sweetie I hope y’all enjoy it!

Originally posted by samwinchesterappreciation

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skylarri1991  asked:

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the reunion scene in (I think) 2x15 or 2x16 where Bellamy and Clarke see each other again in Mount Weather. I mean, I can clearly tell what Clarke's emotions are from her face but Bellamy's is a little bit more difficult to decipher. I really can't tell if his expression is mad, shocked, or heck, if it's a glare or of it's something else entirely. I don't even know lol that's why I wanna ask your opinion?

I need to provide some context in order to answer this question. I think that their previous scenes together help to reveal Bellamy’s feelings and expressions in the 2x16 reunion scene. 

First, I think Bellamy pushed away his feelings for Clarke and built a huge emotional wall around his heart after 2x09. At first, when Clarke confessed to Bellamy that she couldn’t lose him at the beginning of 2x09, you can see a transformation in Bellamy: he became more vulnerable and open about his desire to protect Clarke (hmm… almost like he was beginning to embrace his feelings for Clarke a bit for the first time). But then she basically said his life was expendable, and we saw his heart (visibly) break into a million pieces. After that, I think he forced away his deeper feelings for Clarke and went back to viewing Clarke as a business partner more than someone he deeply cared for (btw, I think 2x05–the campfire scene and the hug scene–is when Bellamy realized that he loved Clarke. Maybe he didn’t realize he was in love with her yet, but he definitely realized that he loved her deeply and that she was special to him). Therefore, Bellamy goes into the mountain with a protective wall around his heart when it comes to Clarke, but Bellamy isn’t someone who can divorce himself from his emotions for too long so… 

Bellamy’s wall cracks a bit when he hears Clarke’s voice on the radio in 2x11. He is visibly affected by hearing Clarke’s voice on the radio in the same way she is visibly affected by hearing his voice, but we can still see Bellamy steeling himself a bit in this scene (see the video below). She stops in the middle of their rushed conversation to reestablish an emotional connection with him (perhaps she is trying to make up for what she did in 2x09 a bit?): “and, Bellamy … you came through. I knew you would.” Bellamy’s walls suddenly shoot up, he doesn’t reciprocate Clarke’s invitation to reestablish their emotional connection, and he ends the conversation with a self-deprecating, though realistic, half joke (side note: he doesn’t really value himself a lot, does he? and he sucks at telling jokes–remember 3x16? yesh …). I think he does this in 2x11 because he’s still protecting himself against his feelings for Clarke… 

Third, the last discussion Bellamy and Clarke have before the scene in 2x16 is when Clarke lied to him about his sister being in TonDC. If you rewatch the scene in which Bellamy finds out about Clarke’s deception, you can see he feels deeply betrayed by Clarke. Raven even knew that part of Bellamy’s pained voice came from Clarke (again) hurting him, which is why Raven immediately reassures Bellamy that Clarke was just trying to protect him (remember Raven had a front row seat to the 2x09 “it’s worth the risk” Bellarke interaction, so she knows something is going on between them); the pain wasn’t just because he was afraid for his sister. I think Bellamy saw this betrayal as more evidence (in his mind) that Clarke doesn’t view him as important to her as he felt she had become important to him (of course, the audience knows better. We saw Clarke’s constant worry for Bellamy and her desperation to keep Bellamy alive throughout 2B, but Bellamy didn’t see it unfortunately). He thinks she sees him as an expendable solider, and the last thought he had of Clarke before the 2x16 reunion was that she had betrayed him. 

The Raven and Bellamy 2x11 Scene: 

All right, so in the 2x16 Bellarke reunion scene, we need to keep four things in mind. 1. Bellamy has steeled his heart when it comes to Clarke. It’s all business for him at that point. 2. The last time Bellamy and Clarke talked, Clarke lied to him and almost let a bomb drop on top of and kill Octavia. 3. Bellamy is desperate for a plan to save his friends because the one they had just fell through and 4. I think that (at this point) Bellamy does indeed love Clarke deeply, but he’s pushed those feelings aside. 

I sort of love this scene because you can tell that Bellamy and Clarke have unresolved personal issues. Everyone hugged each other in this scene EXCEPT for Bellamy and Clarke (which is a huge contrast to their 2x05 hug and I think the writers intentionally had them NOT hug in order to show the audience that Bellamy steeled himself against her). But, it’s worth noting that as soon as Bellamy layed eyes on Clarke, he couldn’t look away—and that’s deeply intimate. However, I honestly think he’s more mad at her in this scene than anything else, but that he also can’t help himself from looking at her and seeing that she’s alive and well. Of course, any feelings of love, anger, disappointment, or even friendship are immediately pushed aside, he approaches her and gets right down to business and asks if she has a plan. They talk business, Bellamy turns away after he comes up with the idea to talk to Dante, and Clarke gives a look at Bellamy as he turns away. I think she’s giving a “I know you hate me right now” look because she looks … disappointed with his response to her. What was she hoping for? Why does she look so guilty? His response to her was cold and aloof, and I think he acted that way because he was mad at her still because of TonDC AND because Bellamy had steeled his heart against her: 

So, yeah, that’s my interpretation of Bellamy’s look in the 2x16 reunion. He’s mad at her and he’s steeled his heart against her, but he also can’t help himself from looking at her and knowing that she’s okay while also hoping that she still has a plan to save their friends. 

It’s sort of a difficult look to analyze because I don’t think it’s a romantic look at all, but at the same time, the “I’m looking at you while I’m hugging someone else” is typically shown in film to reveal that although person A is hugging person C (who person A is suppose to love the most), person A is looking at and thinking more about person B (who is the person that Person A can’t keep their eyes off of) … so it’s an interesting look, for sure, and it’s a common look to use when directors want to show that Person A and Person B have strong, unresolved feelings for each other. Sort of like this one:

But yeah, I think it’s as I described above. 

anonymous asked:

(1) i can't stop thinking about your relativity falls fic and i just have this idea that i wanted to share with you. so a while back before AToTS came out some people started to theorize that Ford was upset with Stan because by reactivating the portal he could have place himself on danger. boy, were they wrong.

(2) but i kept thinking that in relativity falls this could be true for dipper, given that he just feels way too protective of mabel and he would feel responsible for putting her on danger. i think he’d probably wouldn’t tell her about the rift because he wouldn’t want to worry or upset her. as in “i’ve realized how i could have lost you many years ago and now i could lose you again, and it’s all my fault. so it’s my responsability to take care of this”

(3) but now, here is where it becomes really interesting. because dipper doesn’t tell any of this to ford, he only tells him not to tell mabel or stan about the rift and ford thinks it’s because he thinks that they could interfere or make it worse. and instead of dipper being the one that suggests that ford becomes his apprentice, ford asks dipper and insists on it. at first dipper is reluctant because he doesn’t want to separate ford and stan.

(4) but ford starts going on about him being suffocated because he’s never been apart from stan and that he truly wants to study the paranormal. stan hears it all from the walkie talkie. stan confronts him back on their room and ford keeps insisting that this is his big chance at making a break through and becoming a great paranormal investigator. stan runs away to the woods like mabel in DaMvsTF. and his wish is to never have to grow up/old.

(5) i had to get all this off my mind, so sorry if i bothered you, i love your writing and your stories and i wish you lots of happy days. bye.

No worries, anon, this didn’t bother me at all! (I totally know the feeling of needing to get ideas off your chest). In fact, I really liked reading your analysis, since a lot of it fits with how I see things playing out in this AU, too! xD

I think you’re absolutely right that Dipper would’ve feared for Mabel’s safety, given that he’s very protective of her, and he especially wouldn’t have wanted her to know the danger her actions inadvertently put the world in, since he knows that it would crush his big-hearted sister. And unlike Ford, Dipper probably would blame himself for a lot of what happened to them, since he seems to take his failures rather hard.

The flaw with this plan, as you said, would be neglecting to tell Ford that's why he shouldn’t tell his grauntie or brother (I assume he wouldn’t want Stan to know because he figures the kid’s too loud and boisterous to keep a secret, rofl, if only he knew). But holy crap you read my mind when you said Ford would be the one to bring up becoming Dipper’s apprentice!

Remember, this was a time when young Ford would’ve been bullied, and probably felt like he didn’t belong back in New Jersey. He also has a high ego, and think that his talent’s going to waste there, that he’s meant for better things. So when the opportunity to study the paranormal and hunt monsters with his idol in this strange little town where he’s not so weird, of course he would take it.

But from what we’ve seen in canon, Ford is very self-centered, and wouldn’t consider how Stan might feel, might not necessarily believe Stan’s meant for those “better” things, and might even consider it a good that they’re separated  because he feels suffocated. *shudders* Will never be over that word.

Meanwhile, for Stan, Ford staying in Gravity Falls would be his worst fear - he would be all alone, and without Ford, he’s just the “dumber, sweatier” twin. More than that, however, Ford leaving would mean leaving Stan on his own at home, where Filbrick is, let’s face it, an emotionally abusive parent, specifically towards Stanley - maybe even physically, tbh, especially for the purpose of this AU.

Because now you have a crushed, vulnerable kid who’s not only heartbroken at the prospect of losing his brother, but also terrified of returning home. Easy pickings for a demonic triangle trying to start the apocalypse, wouldn’t you say?