devastated- h.s imagine
Harry let out a puff as he stared at the ceiling above him. Lately he hasn’t been able to get a good night rest. He looked over at his bedside table and saw a picture frame of you he couldn’t bare to take down. With a sigh, he reached over and picked up the picture. His fingers slowly traced your smiling face. He knew exactly why he couldn’t fall asleep. It was because of guilt. He felt so guilty and so disgusted with himself, it was like his body was purposely keeping him awake. Every time he closed his eyes, he only saw you. Every time he was with his friends, his mind drifted to thoughts of you. You consumed what was left of his sanity.
Harry put the picture frame down and decided to make himself a cup of tea in hopes it’ll settle his thoughts. He threw the covers off of him and walked downstairs into the kitchen. He opened the cabinet and pulled out the kettle. While waiting for the water to boil, Harry began staring at the kitchen table in front of him.
You let out a sigh as you stared at the dinner you prepared for you and Harry. Earlier that day while you were at work, Harry called you on the verge of tears. He was working on his first solo album. He wanted everything to be perfect because not only will it showcase him as an artist, it was a gift to his fans. He had to have everything perfect and he called you in fears of it not being enough. You managed to calm him down and assure him that everything he did was near perfect in your eyes. You told him that his fans will be incredibly happy with anything he does. You also told him that once he was done at the studio, you guys will have a nice night at home. You wanted him to have a little break from all this worrying.
You glanced at your phone resting on the table and noticed the time. 10pm. After your suggestion of a quiet night in, Harry was ecstatic. He promised he would be home as soon as he could.
You debated whether or not you should just eat without him, after all, dinner was supposed to be three hours ago. Just as you were about to take a bite of the cold food, you heard keys jingling at the door. Harry’s head turned the corner where he saw you at the dinning room table. “There she is!” he smiled. He walked over and gave you a quick kiss to the cheek. You ignored the slight alcohol smell and smiled softly at him, “Hey. Where were you?”
Harry sat in the chair across from you and slightly pushed the plate of food away from him, “I was complaining to the boys how stressed I was. They suggested a little night out” he answered. You nodded your head slowly, “Well are you hungry? I can heat this up really quick.” You stood up and grabbed the plates before Harry interrupted, “Actually, I had a quick bite already. But I’m sure we can eat this tomorrow?” You slowly sank back into your seat, “Oh…Yeah. I guess so…”
Harry smiled and walked back over to you. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Come on. I’m exhausted. Let’s go to bed.” Before you had the chance, Harry was already walking out of the room.
The sound of the kettle whistling interrupted Harry’s reminiscing. He quickly shook his head to get the guilty feeling out of his head. He should’ve rushed home to you. He should’ve turn down the boys and a promise to hang out another time but instead he took advantage of your love. He poured the liquid into his mug and made his way to the living room. He placed the mug on the the coffee table in front of him. Just as he was about to reach for the blanket that is usually kept on the couch, he paused.
You were sitting on the couch with the blanket thrown across your lap. The movie playing on the tv was paused as you were watching Harry pacing back and forth with his phone pressed against his ear. “What do you mean it leaked?” Harry muttered into the phone, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You noticed how tense his shoulders were and how his eyes were closed out of frustration. You felt heartbroken about the situation. For the past couple of days, you knew how excited Harry was to finally release his first single. You knew him and his team were very stern about who could and couldn’t listen to it. Hell, you were almost on the list of people who couldn’t get a preview but eventually Harry let you listen. You honestly didn’t know how this could have happened.
Harry groaned loudly as he hung up. He plopped next to you. You tried to wrap your arms around him but Harry quickly shrugged you off. “Please, Y/N. Not now.” Your arms immediately went to your side as you nodded your head. Harry was fuming. You could tell by the way his breathing got heavier as he tried to calm himself down.
You bit your bottom lip softly and wrapped the blanket around you tighter. “Is there anything I can do for you?” you quietly whispered. Harry looked over at you with the most vicious look he could give. “Can you un-leak my song? Can you find the bloody bastard that leaked it?” You opened your mouth to speak before Harry continued, “Cause if not, just leave me alone.” And with that, Harry stormed away from you and into the bedroom where he slammed the door.
Harry remembered the next morning after he yelled at you, you were sleeping on the couch with the blanket wrapped around you and a tear stained face but he never apologized. Instead, the two of you pretended that night never happened. He should’ve apologized. To take out his anger on you was terrible and wrong. Harry scolded at himself. Out of all the things he’s done in his life, that night will always be his biggest regret.
Wanting to forget about that night, Harry made his way back into the bedroom. He leaned on the doorframe as he took in his surroundings. While this room held so much precious memories of you and Harry, it also held one of the worst.
“Why are you being so selfish?” Harry yelled out as he stood in front of you. You quickly sniffed as you sat on the bed. “This is my dream! And instead of supporting me, you decide that your job is more important!” Harry shouted.
You finally managed to look up at Harry. Through your crying you managed to get out, “I can’t leave work for that long, Harry.”
Harry rolled his eyes and let out a scoff, “Then quit for christ’s sake!”
“I can’t quit!” you tried reasoning with him, “Plus let’s say I do come along with you on tour? What am I supposed to do while you’re off doing interviews and your shows? Do you expect me to stay locked up in the hotel room?”
“I expect you to be there, supporting me!” Harry yelled. All he could see was red. Even though he knew you were right with every single word you were saying, he couldn’t bare the thought of being without you for so long. He loved you and you not wanting to go with him made him believe you didn’t care for him as much as he did for you. And that made him furious.
“I’m so sor-” you said before Harry interrupted you. “Get out.”
You quickly stood up and tried reaching out to him but he was just as quick to move away, “Harry, please.”
Harry turned his back to you. “Let’s just make things easier. With me going on tour and you not coming, this is going to happen sooner or later. Why waste time? We’re done.”
Harry wiped the tear that managed to escape his eye. He sat down on the bed and began sobbing softly. You were the best thing that has happened to him. You were kind, you were understanding, you deserved everything good in the world. Harry took advantage of your love, he took you for granted, and now he had to live with the biggest regret he’s ever made. He had to live in a house where all he saw when he looked around was how much he treated you like dirt. He felt absolutely disgusted. “I’m so sorry” Harry cried out to no one but himself. Without you, he was devastated.
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