because he's in a business office

Mrs Willison’s Homemade Jam

by reddit user FamilialDichotomy

As a child, I was a picky eater like I assume most children are. As my parents tell it, my eating habits transcended normal childhood proclamations of “I don’t like broccoli!” and evolved into a refusal to eat absolutely anything of substance. Things other children might eat and enjoy like chicken nuggets, spaghetti, or even a hot dog were shunned by toddler me. It got to the point, they say, where they and my paediatrician became concerned for my health.

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The Crows Against the Common Cold

I have a cold so I’m inspired.

Matthias: sleeps it right off. Takes him max two days to get rid of it. Coughs maybe once. This pisses Nina offffff. Rises and shines like the secret tulip he is. “Cold? What cold? I live in the ice.”

Nina: loathes being sick. Even just the sniffles. Doesn’t want to be seen except not really. Could she eliminate it with her heart rending? Probably. But she won’t because everyone lavishes attention on her and she LOVES IT. Mattias babies her and so does Inej. Milks it as long as she can #DramaQueen

Jesper: Also #DramaQueen. But actually grumpier than Nina can be because he has to rest to get better and what is rest??? Loves Wylan taking care of him though. Very verbal about being cut down in the prime of life by the cold while wylan just shakes his head and spoon feeds him soup.

Wylan: (brought to you by my friend betterthanwaffles). Tries to hide being sick. Doesn’t want people to know because Jan Van DICK would get mad at him and call him weak. Not sure how Jesper found out, but suddenly Wy’s tucked in bed with blankets and tissues up to the gills. *cough cough Kaz told Jesper*

Kuwei: wants Jesper’s attention but he’s getting over it. Knows chemistry so well he can usually shake the cold quickly with different concoctions. Very quiet while sick. Sucks on cough drops obsessively.

Inej: tries to go about her business. Doesn’t exactly hide it, but doesn’t want a fuss. Nina wants to fuss so bad, so Inej avoids her as much as she can. Then Kaz hears her cough while trying to sneak in his office and he sends her straight to bed and sics Nina on her. Says it’s because he can’t afford a Wraith who gives herself away sneezing everywhere. Actually he is in love and brings her medicines and tissues on the sly. She knows.

Kaz: immune. The germs just burst into microscopic flame.

Lena has a dog that is absolutely in love with Kara. Every time she comes to the apartment, the dog runs up excitedly then immediately rolls onto his back, because Kara gives the best belly rubs in the universe.

Kara is equally in love with him. She squeals and calls him a special nickname every time greets her.

One day, Lena has her dog in the office when Supergirl flies in for official business. He starts to get real excited before she can even see Supergirl, and then immediately rolls onto his back on the balcony. Lena then hears a very familiar squeal and a name that exactly one person calls her dog.

And that’s how Lena’s dog uncovers Supergirl’s secret identity. 

Office-mate who loves CNN but doesn't understand how televisions work is destroyed by that which she loves most.

I work in a small office with only 6 people. The way the office is broken up I share my office with another person, so we’re essentially facing each other. It’s away from the other offices, so we’re kind of left to our own devices. I’ve been working here for about three years now, and have always gotten along with my office-mate. My old office-mate left to start a family, so I’ve been alone for a bit before they hired Marge.

Marge is what you’d find if you googled “worst office-mate.” She brings in smelly food she eats at her desk, she plays loud music in our shared space (even after being asked not to), she fights with the boss on every little thing, she’s nosy (always asking me where I’ve been when I walk back into the office, and I’ve literally caught her listening in at the bosses door). She asks me invasive questions, and when I finally snapped at her to mind her own business she acted like I’d personally assaulted her.

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Dishonest hypocritical pastor loses it all.

I use to be very religious. At the end of that period in my life, I became involved with a new church that was pastored by a charismatic young pastor who seemingly had everything going for him. But the fucker was greedy. Too greedy. As the saying goes: “pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.” Pastor Hog got slaughtered.

My wife and I were looking for a church. An old friend invited us to a new church that was energetic and full of friends. We started attending regularly and eventually became involved with the leadership of the church.

After a while, I started to become uneasy around the pastor. The way he communicated with people just rubbed me the wrong way. I slowly realized that he was a manipulator and compulsive liar. Quick with an overzealous compliment but slow to explain himself when issues arose.

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concept: maggie works long hours filling out paperwork for her cases, and she ends up staying at the office until well into the night. kara also stays out late sometimes, flying around the city to keep watch when she can’t sleep. since maggie and alex started dating, kara makes sure she flies by maggie’s office just to check on her. whenever she sees maggie there working in the middle of the night, she always drops by with coffee. at first maggie is so shocked that she almost chokes on the lump in her throat, and kara is fiddling with her glasses saying, “oh, it’s nothing.” but then it becomes a sort of routine, and they grow closer and more comfortable with each other because of it. but some nights kara can’t make it because she’s out on supergirl duty, so she sends james. he walks in like, “kara is busy but she wanted to make sure you got your coffee tonight,” and sits with a stunned maggie for awhile while she works. and then one night winn shows up with coffee AND donuts because how can you have one without the other? the three of them start rotating who goes on what night, and maggie can’t believe it. she even starts to look forward to her late nights because she knows one of them will show up to keep her company. all that time she’d spent worrying about them accepting her after she started dating alex, and all it really took was little danvers, and a simple cup of coffee.

Captain Finstock is furious.

“Great job, you bunch of morons! Got yourself into a hostage situation, almost got half of the team killed, and now we have to babysit a pack of FBI agents because you are so damn incompetent! And no, Hale, you do not get to opt out of this bullshit because a fed stole your beanie! In fact, I’mma pair you up with him, what was his name, Bilinski? Yes, the doe-eyed one. How old is he anyway, do they hire kids right out of kindergarten now? God, I don’t have enough booze to cover this shit. Could be better off coaching teenagers in a high school probably. Now, get out of my office!”

What a way to start a Monday.

**

“I didn’t know a beanie and a hoodie are new FBI style,” Derek all but seethes.  

“Says a detective wearing his own initial on his belt.”

Derek follows Stilinski’s gaze to his crotch and blushes, “That’s not … that’s not for “Hale”, it’s for “Hermes”.

“Oh, an officer who knows couture? I’m impressed!“ And then the bastard winks.

Derek mentally punches a wall.

**

In theory, having a team of FBI agents helping you with a case can be a good thing, because, well, they have more resources, and a much larger database, and cooler toys. On practice though, it is a giant pain in the ass, mainly because Derek hates his new partner.

Well, no, Derek doesn’t hate him, it’s Derek’s balls that hate him. The brat (what kind of a name is Stiles Stilinski anyway?) is not just cute and smart and knows how to make killer lattes, he is also obnoxious and flirts with Derek all the time, and has an obscene mouth and fingers Derek can’t even look at, because those long dexterous fingers do things to Derek, and at this point Derek’s balls are not just blue, they are pitch black and about to fall off.

Derek might have ripped several bedsheets with his erection and may or may not have considered billing Stilinski for them.

He decides against it, and instead chooses to channel his frustration into anger and into being a dick.

That doesn’t help.

In fact, it just makes things worse. The more frustrated and angry Derek gets, the flirtier Stiles becomes. It’s ridiculous, like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline at it.

Finally, frustration boils over and Derek all but slams the younger man into a wall while no one’s looking. He gets into Stiles’s face, pointing an accusational finger at him like a gun, and tells him all he thinks about flowers, handcuff hearts, chocolates, winks, air kisses and all other crap Stilinski has been pulling on him since day one. He has enough, he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t want it, and …

Derek is surprised to see how hurt Stiles looks. He expects anything from a sucker punch to a fist to his face, but Stiles just whispers liar and leaves.

Derek would’ve preferred a sucker punch.

**

I’m such an idiot!

Derek cusses himself while camaro slithers through empty streets. What a shitty detective is he if he can’t recognize a genuine crush over a prank? Worse even, Stiles is right- he is a liar. He should be sucking Stiles off right now instead of going back to an empty loft.

His self-loathing is cut short by a truck ramming into his side.

**

Derek loses track of time after about a week. After all, it is hard to tell day from night when you are lying semi-conscious in a windowless basement.

Well, if it is how Derek goes out, so be it, he can’t cheat death forever. He wishes he could cheat it long enough to tell Stiles he likes him though. May be even loves him. But, with Hale luck ™ , he likely won’t even have a chance to say good bye.

He hears his captors chatting near the cell, clanking tools. Oh, another round of torture, how terrific.

And then something goes wrong, there are screams and shouting and gunfire and the cell door busts open and it’s actually Stiles, his Stiles, hair disheveled, with stubble and dark circles under his eyes, and he looks livid.  Derek tries to scream, to warn Stiles one of the terrorists is launching at him from behind but Stiles just grabs the man and breaks his neck without even looking because his eyes never leave Derek’s face.

Derek would probably coming all over himself now if not for the extensive blood loss.

**

Stiles drags him out through fire and dead bodies and drops him into an ambulance before Derek gets a chance to say thank you.

**

When Derek comes back, things are different. Stiles is still friendly and cooperative but now he is, for a lack of a better word, professional. No winks, no kissy faces, no more trying to sit on Derek’s lap – only business. Basically, this is everything Derek had asked for.

And Derek wants to scream.

When Captain Finstock calls him to his office and tells him, “I don’t know what the hell you did, Hale, but you better fix it soon, because your lovers spat is freaking me out”,  Derek realizes how royally he screwed up.

**

It takes a mind of a genius and a healthy dose of gay juju to properly apologize to Stiles, and Derek now owes a case of champagne to Dr. Martin and a new Prada wallet to Danny from cyber crime, but sleepy warm Stiles is cuddling him in his bed, so all of that was totally worth it.

Stiles nuzzles Derek’s neck and mumbles, “I can hear you thinking.”

Derek smiles, kisses him and goes back to sleep.

Makin’ Magic Happen

Porn Star!Sam x Porn Star!Reader AU—So entirely NSFW

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

Summary: You get to work with Sammy Winchester for the first time, Mr. Big Cock Super Star
Pairing: Sam/Reader
Word Count: 5.9k
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral sex (both female and male receiving), kinda choking, hair pulling, spanking (like, only one little spank, but it’s a good one), come play. It’s filthy porn, y’all.
A/N: This is the prelude to a series I’m currently working on. So, get used to reading Sam as a porn star. And maybe—just maybe—some other spn characters as well. Guess you’ll have to wait ;)
update: some users have had trouble opening the fic on Tumblr, so here is the AO3 link if you find yourself unable to open it as well. Sorry for the inconvience!


You walk on set in your typical fashion—hair tied up in a messy bun, prescription glasses resting on the bridge of your nose, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with a grande latte with double espresso in your freshly manicured hand. Part of you dreads how long the day is going to be with shooting and scene preparation, while the other part buzzes with excitement.

“You ready for your scene today?” Penny, your agent, asks, face glowing with just as much excitement. You give her an enthusiastic smile and a quick nod. “Good,” she smiles back, hands coming up to grab at your shoulders, her deep green eyes catching yours. “Sammy’s the best in the business. I hear his cock’s insured for a million dollars.”

“That seems a bit drastic,” you murmur before finishing off your latte.

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Ok, so something sad that happenes but it gets better.

Flug, while mixing chemicals together one day for an invisibility serum, manages to somehow grab the wrong chemical to mix with the one hes currently holding, because he was busy shouting at Demencia to “PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE IT SHATTERS!”, and the mixutre ends up exploding in his eyes. The rest of his face is fine, but his eyes become damaged. He becomes black and white colorblind. Hes only able to see in monochrome. His visions slightly blurry too, but aside from that and now being colorblind, he’s ok.

This wouldnt be such a problem, except that he needs to be able to see the colors of certain wires to make certain inventions work correctly, and he needs to be able to see the colors of different chemicals so that he doesnt cause a wider scale explosion in the lab.

For a while he makes things work. He has to work a bit slower on some inventions, and he often needs Demencia’s help in differentiating colors of liquids and machine parts and such, but other than the slower pace, which agravates Black Hat a good bit, all is the same as it was before the incident.

One day however, Flug comes into the lab to find a suprise on table: a pair of goggles that will fit over the bag he wears. (Prior to this he didnt wear goggles over the bag. He just had eyeholes cut out of it.)

He goes to put them on, and almost screams when he does because EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT AGAIN!!

The goggles turn out to have lenses in them that can correct colorblindness and “Holy shit I CAN SEE THE COLORS AGAIN!! THIS IS AMAZING!!”

Demencia walks in the lab with 5.0.5 in tow, and notices Flug walking around, looking at everything, clearly happy about something. And then she notices the goggles.

“Neat goggles you got there! Where’d they come from?”

“I don’t know but Demencia, they allow me to see colors again!!!!”

And shes kinda suprised because “Wait they make goggles like that?!”

And Flugs just so happy because he can finally do his work again without depending on someone else to help him, and this will speed up his work process againc and Black Hat won’t be so upset with his work time and -

“Wait, Demencia, you didn’t get these for me?”

“Nope, no idea where they came from.”

He’s a bit puzzeled, because these goggles obviously didnt just show up out of nowhere. Someone got them for him. Someone who knew he was colorblind.

Someone who wasn’t Demencia, and certainly not 5.0.5.

That left one person. Well, demon more like it.

Flug walks to Black Hats office, and opens the door just slightly to see that his boss is busy filling out that years tax forms, because “We may be a team of villains, but we still live in a house and own a business, and as such we owe taxes to the idiotic government that runs this country, and I will NOT have my company run to the ground because of tax evasion!!”
Flug waits until he finishes writing up the page he’s on, and then steps into the office the whole way.

“What is it that you require Dr. I’m very busy at the moment and you have orders to fill.”

“Well um, Sir I just..just wanted to let you know that those orders you gave me yesterday? They’ll uh..they’ll be done by tomorrow. Tomorrow morning actually.”

Black Hat looks up at that because “Flugs work has taken longer than two days since the incident that doesn’t add up” and then he notices the goggles.

“What’s with the new headwear Flug?”

“Oh the goggles? They appeared on my um. My desk this morning. They actually..they correct my vision?”

“…meaning?”

“I can..i can see colors again Sir.”

Black Hat sits back for a minute, taking in the information.

“Is that why you’ll have those orders done so quickly compared to your normal time?”

“Yes Sir.”

“…fair enough. Make sure they’re as good quality wise as the ones you’ve been producing. We don’t want to sell rushed work to our clients and ruin our reputation now do we?”

“No Sir, of course not. I’ll um..i’ll have them ready and done well by tomorrow morning for you.”

“Good. Now go back to working on them, I need to finish these forms, least my company go down the drain from failing to comply with thw government’s asinine rules.”

Flug turns to leave, and gets halfway out the door, before turning back to Black Hat.

“You wouldnt..you wouldn’t happen to have been the one who got the goggles for me, were you Sir?”

Black Hat looks up, small scowl on his face.

“Of course not Dr. Why would I ever do such a thing like that? I have no idea who gave them to you. Just be greatful that you have them now and get back to work.”

“Yes Sir, will do.”

And with that Flug leaves.

He doesn’t see the small smile on Black Hats face after he leavws because “he liked the goggles I got for him.”

The Thing About Love

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Characters: Kim Taehyung. ft bestfriend!Jeon Jungkook. 
Type: College AU.
Genre: Fluff and a smidgen of angst.
Word count: 7.1k


The thing about love is that you’ll never know when it’ll hit you right in the face until it does and you’re tumbling into a downward spiral of mishaps –and in the process, embarrass yourself to the point of social disgrace– still, even then you’ll wonder what the fuck just happened?

“Hey, you okay over there?”

The first thing you should have noticed is the person calling for your concern but you’re too busy being in pain from the akin-to bitch slap that landed smack dab on your face and the throbbing of your butt from the fall which also happen to be caused by the bitch slap. You wince at the stinging sensation when your index finger brushes your nose and realize it’s bleeding –most definitely broken too.

“Let me see.” Along with the voice comes a callous hand pulling yours out of your face then god, you don’t think a bitch slap could kill but no other explanation could make sense because you’re looking at an angel –a damn good looking one at that.

His face is shadowed by the halo bathing his beautiful sun kissed skin but from this distance –oh boy, from this distance– you can very well tell what emotion flashes across that attractive face.

“I think your nose is broken, might not wanna touch that.” He grimaces at the damage and swiftly pulls you up to your feet, strong –but not too buff– arm around your waist and your own arm around his broad shoulder.

You think he said something about going to the nurse’s office and some other thing you can’t be bothered to listen to because you’re too busy being in awe of his long lashes, soft, deep brown strands and just the perfect shade of tan.

Then he calls your name –he knows your name.

“Huh? What?” You snap out, blinking, dazed.

“I’m sorry I broke your nose with a football.”

So Kim Taehyung broke your nose with a football, that is what the fuck happened.

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My Puppy | 1

Originally posted by rapnamu

CHAPTER ONE

Chapters: [1][2]

Pairing: Taehyung X Reader-First Person View

Genre & Warnings: SMUT, fluff, pet play. 

Word Count: 4,406

NOTE: Pure Filth. Turn back now if you don’t want to see. Turning Tae Tae into my Fuck Puppy (Thanks, Anon). Soft femdom. Let me tell you, it was an EXPERIENCE writing this, and I am still not perfectly pleased with it. Mostly because I’m never happy with my own smut writing. I had to do so much research, so google probably thinks I’m freaky naughty af. Which I suppose I am considering I wrote this lol. So, for those that are hardcore into this and think I didn’t portray it well enough, I’m sorry, I tried. And I learned quite a bit about myself, like the fact that if I ever get my hands on someone like Tae, I am so going to try this. Now enjoy, and excuse me as I go drench myself in holy water to cleanse myself of sin. 


“You know, I hate the winter. It reminds me of your cold heart.”

My now ex-boyfriend mutters this line, looking into the snowy sky. He sighs loudly and saunters off, without looking back. What a fucking drama queen. I can’t help but snort as I watch him disappear into the light snowfall, and wonder what movie he got that line from.

Cold heart.

I don’t have a cold heart. He was just a damn bore. He never wanted to do anything but watch movies and freaked out if I suggested anything besides missionary. I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him for weeks now but was putting it off because I knew he’d cry. This saved me all the hassle.

Note to self: Don’t date actors.

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Editor-In-Chief and Single Dad Shiro Part 1 (2, 3, 4)

  • Shiro’s a workaholic but loves to spend as much time with his daughter.
  • So most days, the little pumpkin goes to work with him and likes to wander off from his office. She hasn’t started school yet and there wasn’t time to hire a babysitter on such a short notice.
  • He’s busy chasing deadlines when he notices that the little devil was no where to be seen in his office.
  • He leaves his room to look for her because he promised her ice cream.
  • However, he sees her being carried by an employee (is he an employee even? he’s wearing a tie so he must be).
  • “But I don’t wanna go back to my Daddy,” his daughter pouts.
  • “Yeah, but what if your Daddy misses you?” unknown not-really-sure-if-employee asks with a frown. “You don’t want to see him sad, do you?”
  • “He’s always busy with papers. He won’t miss me,” she pouts even more, but clings to the other man like they’re close buddies.
  • “You don’t know that, sweetheart,” the guy smiles fondly at his daughter and honestly? Shiro’s just?? so?? taken?? WHO IS THIS MAN? His daughter usually just messes around with people where he works—she’s basically a menace—but somehow this guy managed to be? friends? with? his daughter?
  • He doesn’t get to ogle further at the unknown man because his daughter sees him and calls him.
  • Unknown man’s eyes go wide upon seeing him approaching them, realization dawning into him. He looks back to Shiro’s daughter and whispers “Your Daddy’s Mr. Shirogane?”
  • As soon as he reaches them, the guy clears his throat. “Uh, good morning, sir. I swear to god I am not stealing your daughter. In fact, she—”
  • “I stole some of Keith’s cookies!” his daughter laughs.
  • “—but in the end I gave them to you, cupca—” unknown guy named Keith says to his daughter but stops himself before completing the term of endearment. He places the little girl down so she could go back to him.
  • Shiro just stares at Keith because this guy looks extremely attractive up close and he can’t stop himself, so he blurts out, “Do you work here?”
  • “Um, yes. I started last week. Marketing.”
  • Last week? He hasn’t seen him before. “How come I didn’t interview you?”
  • “I don’t know. Allura hired me on the spot.”
  • Before Shiro can reply, his daughter pokes him, “Daddy, you’re staring too much at Keith.”
  • He gets flustered as he looks down at his daughter. TRAITOR. 
  • “Well, I better get back to work now. I was going to ask whose kid she was and—”
  • “Would you like to have coffee with me?” Shiro blurts out.
  • “W-what?” Keith panics.
  • “A sort of welcome thing.” Shiro explains. “I’m your boss after all.”
  • “Oh, I’m more of a,” Keith coughs. “…a chocolate milk person. But coffee would be okay too. I don’t assume every one just has a—”
  • “Daddy has chocolate milk boxes for me!” his daughter chips in. TRUST REGAINED ONCE AGAIN. GOOD JOB KIDDO.
  • Keith just laughs. “I do love chocolate milk boxes.” 
  • How adorable. Shiro finds himself smiling a little too wide. He feels his daughter poking him again. He knows she’s going to tease him later when they’re alone.
  • And she really did when they go for ice cream. “You like Keeeiiiithhh.”
  • Shiro rolls his eyes. “No I don’t.”
  • “You do this funny face when you lie, Daddy. Plus, you can’t have Keith. I’m going to marry him.”
  • Shiro is just so shocked?? “You can’t marry him! You’re three!”

nerd!jimin + unknown territory (pt3) 

Jimin stared at the larvae sitting across from him, warily, it was currently trying to eat spaghetti with a knife. He should probably stop it, but that meant touching the thing and then he would—

“Stop looking at my kid like that.” You roll your eyes before replacing her knife with a fork and watching a happy little grin stretch across her face.

“Like what?” Jimin clears his throat.

“Like you’re having an entire internal monologue listing all the reasons you’ll never have kids.” You mutter, using a napkin to wipe stray sauce from Mina’s face.

“I’m not doing that.” He says and he shrinks when you pin him with a hard stare, “What? I’m not! I did that on the drive over here – now I’m just watching in mild fascination at the eating habits of—”

“Oh my God.”

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He laughs when you move to get up, he tugs you back down by the wrist and you ignore the butterflies erupting your chest when he takes a second too long to remove his hand, “Will you relax already? You’ve barely spoken to me since we’ve ordered. Tell me about yourself, how have you been how did all of this happen?”

“It’s not exactly exciting.” You sigh, “It’s actually a very long story.”

“Let’s start with the basics then – are you still with her father?” Jimin lowers his voice, sparing Mina a glance.

“He left about as soon as I took the pregnancy test so no.” You laugh bitterly, picking up your own slice of pizza to dig in.

You watch helplessly as Mina nearly swipes her pasta off the table but Jimin is on top of it, grabbing her bowl before it makes its crash landing and sending the little girl a stern look before handing her back her fork. She grins unabashedly.

“Do I know him?” Jimin queries, keeping a careful eye on the brat now that she’s decided to make toys out of the cutlery. He sighs but waves over the waitress, “Do you guys have like one of those coloring sheets for kids or something?”

“Sorry sir.” The waitress sends an apologetic smile before moving to refill everyone’s water. Jimin glares but begrudgingly unlocks his phone before opening one of the few games he has stored.

“She’ll crack your phone.” You say mildly, watching in only half amusement as Jimin glares at your daughter when she keeps pressing buttons.

“I’ll buy a new one.” He snaps before he remembers he supposed to be wooing you.

It was too easy, too easy to fall back into the pattern of your old friendship.

You had begrudgingly agreed to dinner with him, only because in turn he allowed you to pick the restaurant, a quaint little mom and pop pizza parlor not too far from your office that you frequented. It wasn’t anything he was used to, at least not in light of recent events and his acquisition of millions, but it was good. One of those places that hand made their crust, they were popular and bustling with business but still managed to find a seat for you. Jimin took quick notice of the warm, familiar smiles sent your way from the old man working the front of house, going as far to boop the little girl you were toting, on one cherub cheek.

He was scared someone might break into his car in this neighborhood and you could only roll your eyes because this place was a suburban dream compared to where you stayed.

“No you don’t know him.” You say when you find your heart doing weird floppy things at the sight of your daughter and Jimin interacting so causally – it was something you wanted to erase from your memory because it hurt. “He was some guy I met at college, well before I dropped out to take care of Mina.”

“And your parents?” He asks, a frown marring his face at the thought.

“Disowned me when I wouldn’t abort her.” You shrug as though the words didn’t feel like nails clawing their way up your throat – an old wound re-opened but you feigned indifference pretty well now a days. Even you almost believed your lies.

“So who helps you? You don’t get child support or—”

“Jimin.” You say softly, because it’s in your nature to treat him with kid gloves on, even if he is overstepping, “I’ve been doing this for a while now. It’s tough but I manage. I’m fine – we’re fine. Now can we talk about something less, I don’t know, depressing.”

Jimin lets out a long suffering sigh but he relents with a curt nod, you don’t miss the way the muscle in his jaw jumps – and what a chiseled jaw it’s become over time. You nearly lose track staring at it.

“Where do you work at now?” He asks, momentarily distracted by a piece of cheese hanging from his chin. He lets out an expletive before wincing at Mina.

You stifle a grin because it’s so much like the old Jimin you couldn’t help the elation that bubbled over in your chest. Instead you choose to rest your chin in your palm while watching him.

“I sale time shares at a realty office, though I’m sure you already know that since you tracked me down and sent me gifts.” You murmur dryly when he smiles, “It was very Tony Stark of you.”


“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me.” Jimin says honestly, putting a hand over his heart.

“Mmm.” You hum sarcastically, “So how are your parents, living lavish at the hands of their millionaire son I assume?”

“Living lavish.” He scoffs, “You’ve met my parents. My mom barely let me renovate our old house and only did so because I threw a bitch fit that she wouldn’t accept the beachside bungalow I had lined up for them.”

You grin at the thought of a very stern and self sufficient Mrs. Park arguing with her mogul son, because she probably won… but still you making tsking noise anyway.

“Well, in her defense you can be a bit… frivolous with your spending.” You say, nodding towards the bag of gifts seated next to him.

“I work damn hard to be frivolous. You two always did love ganging up on me.” He glared, “You’re so much like her it’s scary.”

“It’s why she loved me.” You tease back. “I’m her favorite child, even Jihyunnie has accepted it.”

Something changes in his face and his expression is softening. You scramble to change the topic because you knew how easy it was to get caught up in the old days, where things were much easier and there was less pressure on you, less weighing on your mind.

“How is he now?” You ask suddenly and Jimin’s features shutter closed – back to the calm, cool and collected Jimin that had picked you up.

“He’s doing good. He’ll graduate in a year.” He says mildly, “He’s still a brat and beating me up on visits.”

“I would hope so. You need someone to keep you grounded, remind you where you came from.” You harrumph.

“They miss you, you know.” Jimin says quietly, suddenly unable to meet your gaze. He’s taken to staring at Mina who was currently taking about a thousand pictures with his front camera. “My mom misses you. You know how she always complained about being the only woman in the house.”

He looks up at you and it’s your turn to look away. Because you had shoved back so many memories that were associated with him, but now sitting here at dinner, reminiscing it was easy to remember the bond you shared with the elder Park. It was something you also couldn’t have back and again, it hurt knowing that.

“I’m sure she’d love to see you again—love to meet Mina too.” He says softly.

“Jimin.” You say curtly and he returns your tone.

“____.”

“I don’t think that's—”

“You think too much is the problem.” He sighs, before signaling the waitress for the check, “Just because you… because we ended on rough terms… I know it’s a lot to ask but, I hope you don’t hold that against my parents. You were great to have around and they miss you. I’ve never gotten so much shit over something in my life—you would think that we were actually dating.”

You averted your gaze for the millionth time that night because it was true. Though there was no official label between the two of you, you were caught in an open limbo between more than friends but not quite dating. Even if Jimin couldn’t admit a lot of things to himself he was forced to acknowledge that things had been almost domestic between the two of you – between the sheer amount of time you spent over at each other’s places, or in his bed, lazing around doing nothing. When his parents would ask for his whereabouts it was always the same—

“____.” He says quietly, before handing his credit card off to the server, “Think about what I said, yeah?”

“I will.” You reply with a stiff smile.

The silence that was once comfortable between the two of you had some how shifted to a stilted, and unwelcome one at the mention of the past. You find yourself fidgeting in your seat at the weight of his words, because despite it all it was something that you desperately wanted as well.

“Tell me more about your job,” Jimin says, returning the topic to a lighter subject, it didn’t take a genius to notice how tense you’d gotten at the mention of seeing his family again.

“I’m sure it’s not as exciting as being a billionaire.” You say off handedly, going to sip at your wine.

Millionaire.” Jimin corrects and you scoff at him, “But being rich isn’t as exciting as you’d expect either.”

“How very modest of you,” you roll your eyes before sucking at your teeth, “I would kill for middle class these days.”

“I could help you get there.” He says lightly with a shrug and your spine straightens, “Not a hand out, a job, ____. I looked into your company the other day—”

“You did what?” You ask, indignantly.

And just like that the switch had been flipped again and you were on your guard.

“Is this really a surprise, you knew I was looking for you, it only makes sense that I would check the companies shares and stocks while I was at it. I know you don’t believe me, but we’re friends and I wanted to make sure that you were doing okay for yourself.”

“No Jimin, we were friends ten years ago.” You correct, ears turning pink at his audacity, “And I know you’re out of practice but friends ask friends how they’re doing, they don’t run a financial background check on them.”

“Hey, I didn’t run a financial background check on you,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even peek at your credit score even though it was right their in front of me.”

You threw your napkin down on the table before narrowing your eyes at him, “You’re a real ass you know that?”

“That may be true but you know as well as I do that you wouldn’t be half as defensive if it weren’t for the fact that the companies going
bankrupt.” He says calmly but his knuckles going white around his grip on the table cloth, “They’re going under and you have—”

“Five maybe six months left there, I’m well aware.” You scowl, “but that doesn’t give you the right to invade my privacy like this. And besides, a job? Let me guess you want me to be your assistant so you can bend me over and —”

You chance a look at Mina, who’s still well engrossed with the apps on Jimin’s phone and let out an exasperated sigh.

“You’re lucky if you have four months there.” He says mildly, “Looking at their financial statements I can tell they barely have enough to pay you minimum wage, so let me guess you’ve been working there for going on six years and you’ve yet to get a pay increase am I right?”

“God, you’re so condescending.” You laugh bitterly.

“Only when I’m right.” He says, “And for the record, you wouldn’t be working for me. If you think I stand chance getting any work done while you’re around you’d be delusional. I have a friend who owns a small law firm, he’s looking for a secretary and you’ve had more than enough experience doing clerical work.”

“Your head must be impossibly thick if I have to say this again but I don’t need your help,” you glare.

“Think about Mina.” He argues.

“I am thinking about Mina,” you say, much louder than you intend. You clear your throat before lowering your voice, “She’s the only thing I think about and you don’t get to bulldoze in ten years later and try to pick up where things left off. We’re not in high school anymore. This is real life, it’s my life.”

“You’re right, we’re not in high school anymore but things sure haven’t changed, have they?” He spat, “You still have to be in control of everything.”

“Of my life? Yes! Of my daughters life? You bet your ass.” You scowl.

“Fine. You’re coming across loud and clear, you don’t need or want my help.” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “But at least—”

He stops mid sentence when the shrill ring of your phone pierces through the otherwise comfortably quiet restaurant and you’re shuffling through your purse for your phone. You look up at him before sighing, “It’s work. I have to take this.”

“Hello? Yes, hi Mr. Kim.” You’re already rising to your feet when one chubby hand comes up to clutch your shirt.

“Momma,” Mina calls and it garners both your attention, “It was an accident.”

“Oh no.” You sigh, a frown marring your face as you go to your knees to collect the remainder of spaghetti off the floor, the rest found their way all down the front of her little tank top and you groan, “I’m sorry not you sir, I just—yes I understand the severity of this contract I…. yes sir I'm—”

“Go.” Jimin mouths, before shooing you away with the flick of his wrist. You stare up at him wide eyed, phone still pressed to your ear and an indecisive look marring your face.

Jimin sighs but rises to his feet, lifting you with him and all but pushing you in the direction of the exit before he’s turning to Mina. You send a curt nod of gratitude at him before bustling out and attempting to placate your boss on the phone.

Jimin has never carried a child before. He has especially never carried one covered nearly head to toe in an Italian red sauce delicacy. He had however carried a sack of potatoes and gauging the insufferable little brats weight, she was about the same size. So he applies all the knowledge he’s accumulated in twenty some years of carrying groceries into the house for his mother and keeps the little girl at a giggling arm’s length from his body while he fast walks into the men’s room.

He’s already had her set down on the porcelain countertop before his gaze catches on something in the mirror. A man maybe in his mid twenties is staring at him from the urinal. Jimin’s brows slash down at the inquisitive look before sending him a nod, “What? You’ve never seen a kid before?”

The man is a flurry of movement, zipping up his jeans before sending an apologetic bow at Jimin and shuffling out of the room.

Jimin sighs at the sweet smile Mina’s sending his way, an adorable dimple winking at him, before he rolls his eyes and swipes at her glasses lens where a stray splatter of meat sauce has found its way. He sends her a stern look, “Yah. I bet that smiles gotten you out of a lot of trouble. It won’t work on me.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation as you try and explain to your boss for maybe the millionth time (that night) why the Henderson case you got handed a week ago wasn’t moving as quickly as he’d like it.

For all it was worth your boss wasn’t a bad guy, and the company you worked for didn’t cheat you out of money the way Jimin had made it sound. Now, did you deserve a raise after all the time and hours you had put in? Did you need it? Hell yes. But things weren’t always black and white, in fact your entire life seemed to be sat in one huge area of gray.

The company you worked for was family owned and every person in it was sweet, soft hearted, and genuine and all things considered those were good traits to have—except when you were working in the realty field. It was cut throat and competitive. More than once you had seen your boss caught up with loan sharks, renting out time shares at a discounted price to homeless shelters. And then there was the fact that he was just a tad dimwitted, but your heart had gone soft for the old man that had taken both you and Mina under his wing. So you owed him that. You couldn’t give him much but loyalty anyway.

When you returned to the restaurant with a headache you hadn’t had five minutes ago, you look for Jimin to apologize but your footsteps stutter and your heart drops to your belly when you see the two seats still vacant. You turn to the hostess and nearly fall into hysteria when she tells you they left.

Your phone chimes.

Unknown [7:23:45]: meet us at Fro-zone

“What did I say?” Jimin scowls, “One scoop.”

“But Jiminnie,”

“Your moms gonna kick my ass if I—”

“Jimin.” You call out, hair wind blown from the jog over here and when you meet his gaze he tips his head up at you in acknowledgement.

He was hunched over a whining Mina who had shed her white tank top in place of a pink shirt with a sparkling heart in the middle. He was looking at her sternly and if you weren’t careful you would mistake Mina for one of his business associates with the way he was carefully explaining to her why she couldn’t have more than a handful of sugar before bed—it involved you and him in an oiled up cage match which he would inevitably lose.

You took that as your cue to step in.

“Momma!” She cried gleefully, “Where’d you go?”

“Where did you go?” You retort, poking a finger at her protruding belly and making her jump back with a giggle, “I like your shirt.”

“Jiminnie picked it out!” she grins proudly and Jimin sends a dry look your direction.

“It was either this or the neon pink sweater with seven bows on it and a giant pop up unicorn head—I don’t care how old your kid is, not even she could pull off something so ridiculous.”

“She likes pink.” You shrug but Jimin spots the mirth in your eyes.

“Jiminnie knows a lot of bad words.” Mina tattles and Jimin glares at the little demon. “He owes like ten dollars to the swear jar.”

“The fee’s twenty five scents a swear word just how much did you cuss with my kid?” You cock a brow.

“Is that the only way you’re accepting money?” He retorts with a snarky expression, “Let me stick around after you put Mina to bed and I’ll give you enough material for her college fund.”

You grin but don’t say anything as he leads you to his car.


It isn’t all that much later when he pulls up to your car in the parking garage. A glance back in his rearview tells you that Mina is out cold and you sigh with the thought that she is way too big to be getting carried anymore. You turn in your seat to wake her up but Jimin shakes his head at you before opening his car door and heading to the back.

It’s probably the fact that a man hasn’t carried Mina since she was born that attributes more to the pain in your chest than it is that it’s Jimin. Jimin of all people putting a sturdy hand on the back of your daughters head and tucking her tiny glasses in his hand so she doesn’t hurt her face. He waits for you to unlock the door to your car before setting her down in her car seat and leaving you to buckle her in.

He’s still holding her specs when you turn back to him, fiddling with a small scratch on one of the lenses before handing them back to you.

You can’t quite put a finger on the atmosphere that resonates in the otherwise abandoned parking garage—nonetheless words find their way to your lips that you had no intent of sharing with him.

“I’ll take you up on your offer.” You utter.

“The job?” He brightens at your words and you wince.

“No,” you say quietly. “I… maybe if me and Mina have time we’ll stop by your parents sometime. I’m sure your Mom would love to meet her.”

His expression doesn’t dull at your words, if anything it only gets that much brighter at he mention of his parents and for the briefest of moments your caught up in your old feelings, because this was too much like the old Jimin. The one who wore his heart on his sleeve, and was never sly or cool or charming in a way that wasn’t dorky.

“You really mean that?”

“It couldn’t hurt to rekindle that relationship.” You shrug.

Could it?

My darling @blacktofade‘s birthday was, uh, two months ago, so here I am, ten years late with her birthday present. ILU BB!! If this lil au seems like it should be a full-length fic, that’s because it desperately tried to be, and I had to keep chopping at it to keep it under control, like some kind of rouge hedge on meth. (Now on AO3!)

In the hours after the fight, Stiles drives and drives and drives. At first it’s late, and then it’s so late that it’s early, but he keeps on driving, fueled by anger, mostly in silence, though somewhere around the middle of Pennsylvania he thaws enough to put on some music. He stops at a rest stop just past the Ohio border to get a breakfast sandwich, and as he sits at a dirty table and eats, he thinks: shit.

Doubt begins creeping into his thoughts; maybe he’d been too hasty. Maybe he should have given Jay a chance to explain - but no, no, fuck that. He’d always made it really fucking clear that if their relationship ever got to the point where cheating seemed like a good option, he’d rather just be broken up with and yet look what fucking happened. Stiles scoffs scornfully, chucking the wrapper to his sandwich in a nearby trash can. Two and a half years down the drain.

Refreshed by a new wave of anger, Stiles heads back to his car and gets back on the highway. He manages to wrangle his phone from his pocket and, ignoring the multiple text and missed call notifications, he calls his dad, who picks up with a sigh.

“You know what time it is?” his dad asks, and Stiles looks at his dash guiltily. He’s been so worked up that he forgot about the time difference - or the fact that even on the east coast, it’s early, the sun barely above the horizon.

“Sorry,” Stiles says with a wince. “I’ll call back later.”

“It’s fine,” Dad says with another sigh. “I just got home from an overnight shift. Everything all right? You’re not usually up before ten.”

Stiles opens his mouth and then closes his mouth, startled by the raw ache in his eyes.

“Stiles?” his dad presses, somehow gentle and sharp at the same time; Stiles is worrying him.

“I’m - ” Stiles clears his throat, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “Um. How would you feel about me moving home for a while?”

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Exo as College Students

Minseok: Getting his masters. Always grumbling when people are sick and won’t stop sneezing during lectures. Has 3 copies of the syllabus and carries a portfolio. “Hey, Minseok! Can I borrow a pencil?” “Use the one I let you “borrow” last week, Baekhyun.“ Petty. But still hands over his pencils. Complains about debt.

Junmyeon: Accounting major. Always late to class because he’s too busy helping people in the library or showing a family where the Financial Aid office is. Tries to help Yixing when he’s confused. Just ends up doing the assignments for him. "Professor? Are you still collecting the assignment?” Always wears glasses and the whole class is shook when he gets contacts.

Yixing: Biology major. You swear this dude works everywhere on campus: the book store, Rec center, Starbucks, and in the library. Always has on a hoodie, even in the summer. Sleeps in class. “Hey, when’s -insert important assignment due?” Looks confused 99% of the time. Somehow manages to pass.

Baekhyun: Business major. Never has shit for class and asks Minseok for stuff in exchange for Starbucks. “Can we watch a movie?” Says he can’t turn in an assignment because Blackboard “wasn’t working.” The whole class applauded when he brought a scantron to the final. Knows everyone’s business and tells Minseok the campus drama. Probably in a fraternity.

Chanyeol: Music major. Always has his earphones in. “Can we have class outside today?” Tries hard but everyone groans when he talks. Smells good even though he looks like he just rolled out of bed. Brings McDonalds to class.

Jongdae: Math major. Is bad at math. “This wasn’t on the syllabus!!” Always whining about something. Comes to class late with food and always leaves some kind of mess behind. Helps elderly professors open PowerPoints or carry their stuff to the employee parking lot.

Kyungsoo: Sociology major. Is too woke. Argues with the professor and stays after class to discuss the matter further. Wears black like he’s going to a funeral. Looks like he’s always ready to fight someone. Seems mean, but he always shares his Hot Cheetos or gum.

Jongin: Kinesiology major. Has slept the entire semester. Shows up to the final in pajamas. "Is there an online version of the book?” Never shows up to study sessions for the group presentations or replies to texts. Still does better than everyone else on the presentation. You see him at graduation and are like “?? How?!”

Sehun: Undeclared major. Came into college with credits already. Is always late but has long winded excuses. “The bus left me!” “Sehun, nobody cares. Sit down.” Is tall but sits in the front and blocks your view of the board. “Is there gonna be extra credit?” Stops showing up to class until the end of the semester. Barely passes.

Mr. Min - Chapter 02

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Smut and Angst

Word Count: 9872

Warning: Dom!Yoongi, light breath play, cum play, punishment, demeaning names, inappropriate table manners

Playlist - Prologue - Ch 01 - Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 05 - Ch 06 - Ch 07

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clone-a-willy™ (m)

Anonymous asked:

dom ceo!jimin & reader + “I’ve had this plug in me all day, when do I get to feel your cock instead?”

➾ 3.2k

➾ 1/13 parts for jimin’s smutfest 2017/ jimin’s birthday celebration


Amazon is a fucking liar, and you have half a mind to sue them for putting wrong information on their website. What they listed as ‘discreet packaging’ ended up being a clear, see-through bag with no sort of protective wrapping at all, and you’re fuming.

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