because girl you need to get your own life

I’ll Never Leave You

Requested by anon: oneshot where you walk in on your boyfriend cheating on you and you go to Buckys for comfort and you both cuddle for the rest of the night<3 please and thank you!!!  

 Pairing: Bucky (The Winter Soldier) Barnes X Reader

 Word count: 868


 You had nothing to do, so you decided to convince your boyfriend to do something. Anything. Searching in your bag for his apartments keys, you hear it. A woman’s name and soft moans. With anger and curiosity building up in your stomach, you quickly unlock the door. Your heart stops when you open the door to see a half naked woman laying above your completely naked boyfriend. You shut the door with all your strength, finally making them stop and rush to finds their clothes.

 “(Y/N), I can explain…” Michael tries to hide the girl behind his back, awkwardly putting his pants on.

 “Don’t even try.” Your voice is furious, like fire burning your throat. “I don’t know why I’ve been trying to love you! You don’t deserve it.” He was acting weird, distant, but you thought that maybe he needed some space. But this? This is unacceptable.

 “(Y/N), don’t say these things. You’re breaking my heart.” He helps the girl to get dressed.

 You can’t believe it. The only reason you’re dating Michael is because you’ve been friends for years. And because the man you love doesn’t think he deserves to be loved. Now, that’s what you get. Michael always uses to say he loves you more than his own life, just like he was begging you to never leave his side. Lies.

 “You know what, Michael? Why don’t you finish what you’ve started with this girl? I never loved you anyway, and it feels good to finally tell you that. I just thought we could get along since we were friends. But no.” Smiling, you open the door again, holding back your tears. “I don’t want to see you again. Never.”

 Before he can answer, you close the door and run to the elevator and then to your car. With tears in your eyes, you drive too fast, not giving a damn about the signs.

 When you stop the car you take your cell phone. Maybe he isn’t here. Maybe his too far to help you.

 “(Y/N), how are you?” Bucky’s voice is familiar, kind, it takes your breath away.

 “Bucky… are you in your apartment?”

 “What happened?” He’s suddenly worried, the weight on his voice hurting you.

 “Nothing. Just…”

 After a few moments of silence, you see him opening the building’s front door. You take your bag and get out the car, running to his arms.

 Bucky’s arms are always warm, the best place on earth. He doesn’t say anything, his hand caressing your hair. A loud thunder makes you jump, looking at the dark sky.

 Without a word, he guides you through the stairs until his small cold apartment. You throw your bag on the couch, heading to his bedroom.

 “I’ll get some sleep.” It’s all you manage to say, your voice still fainting. You don’t want him to know how miserable you feel.

 “No, (Y/N). Tell me what happened.” Bucky sits by your side, holding both your hands in his. “You’ve been here for me. Now I want to be able to help you.”

 “Michael, he… God, I don’t even love him!” It comes out abruptly, your tears coming back. “I’m an idiot! He was fucking that whore! I don’t give a fuck, but he was with me. It’s humiliating. I know I’m not hot or tall or whatever the fuck but at least I deserve some respect.”

 Breathing heavily, you look at your own hands. Bucky’s fingers are caressing yours, and only God knows how much you want him to know how you feel.

 “You’re beautiful, (Y/N). You need to know that…”

 “Don’t do this, Bucky, please. The last thing I want is you to say things just to make me feel better.”

 “Would you stop and listen?” He moves closer, forcing you to look into his eyes. “I never lie to you. You are a beautiful girl and any man would be lucky to have you by his side. I wish I could…” His voice fades, and without thinking too much, you crush your lips on his.

 The feelings take the best of you when you feel his hand moving to cup your cheek. Bucky’s lips are soft, warm, inviting you in. But your phone starts ringing and you pull away abruptly. You pick it from your pocket and throw it at the wall, making the stupid music stops suddenly. Bucky smiles at you, pointing at the bed.

 “You can stay for the night. I’ll take the couch.”

 “No. I mean… Can you please stay with me?” You move, giving him space to lay beside you. And that’s what he does.

 “Come here.” He whispers, so you lay down, your head on his chest.

 “Promise me you’ll never…”

 “I’ll never leave you. I’ll never cheat on you.” That makes you raise your head to look into his eyes.

 “How do you know…?”

 “We have been in love with each other for too long. It’s time to stop torturing myself.”

 Tears roll down your cheeks again, but they are tears of joy. You don’t say anything, you just stay there, enjoying how good it feels to have him so close. Slowly, you drift off to sleep, hearing his heartbeat singing to you.

Big Role

Warnings: Like one cuss word
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, SPN cast member!reader, Misha Collins(mentioned)
Summary: You’re an actress on SPN and you get a big role in a new show and it comes up in a con
Reader’s Age: Roughly 15/16 years old. It could work for any though.
Word Count: 1049

Y/N: Your Name

A/N: This originally had Misha in it too but it became too much of a hassle to include all of them so I just did Jensen and Jared. Enjoy!


You, Jensen, and Jared were all backstage getting ready to do a small panel. Ever since you were no more than three years old you’ve been acting on the show. Sure, a three-year-old doesn’t necessarily have much acting skill, but you had enough to get by. The boys loved having you on the show. You always brightened up their day, and you’ve also got a little bit of Jared, Jensen, and of course, Misha in your personality.

Of course, school was always a problem until your parents decided to pull you out and let you become homeschooled. The set would take breaks every now and then to let you do some school throughout the day, and if you needed any help then you just went to one of the guys.

You’ve just always been there and around them. They’ve become your family. You love doing conventions and meet-ups because it means you get to meet your even bigger family. The Supernatural family.

You’re a pretty popular character on the show. Most girls look up to you since you started acting so young and haven’t gone down a bad path, probably because you have such good influences in your life. Occasionally, you get to do your own panels, but you mainly prefer to have one of your boys there with you.

“You ready, kid?” Jensen asked as he handed you a microphone.

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” you responded enthusiastically.

Jared walked over and flashed you a quick smile before turning towards the stage. The band started playing and you three made your way onto the stage. The crowd cheered as the band played along. You three smiled and waved at everyone until you all realized the end of the song was coming up. You all, hilariously, got into your jumping stances and waited for the right time. Just when the song was about to end you all jumped up and slammed back down as if you were playing an electric guitar.

Lights blinded you as you looked out into the crowd, you smiled and waved back as the screaming never faltered. You walked over to the mic stand and put your microphone in it.

“How y'all doin’?” Jared asked. The crowd cheered in response.

“That’s great because we need you guys to get our energy up. Jensen has been dragging his feet all day,” you teased, looking over at your co-star with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey! Blame the two new munchkins!” Jensen retorted, earning laughs from you and everyone else.

For a few minutes you three told a few stories then went into questions. A young girl, no more than sixteen was next to ask a question. She had short brunette hair and was wearing angel wings with a trench coat. She took a deep breath before blurting, her voice young and shaky, “So, Y/N. Rumor has it that you’re gonna be one of the main roles in the new show Stranger Things. Is that true?” Jensen and Jared both shook their heads slightly with small smiles.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s true,” you responded humbly.  

“Yep. It’s official! She’s leaving us!” Jensen threw his arms up. “After years and years of being on Supernatural, she’s gonna drop us like a little kid playing with an old toy!” Jensen teased.

You slapped his arm with a smile that just would not go away; it never did at these events “It’s not permanent! It’s just for one season.”

“For now. One season will turn into two, which will turn into three…” Jared chimed in, trailing out his voice as he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

“I’m still on the show, ain’t I?” you replied with a giant grin.

Jared walked over and engulfed you into a hug and fake cried loud enough for the crowd to hear, “She’s growing up so fast! Moving onto bigger and better things! I’m so proud!”

“Get off me, Moose!” you playfully pushed him away, hearing the crowd laugh.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you got the role, but just don’t forget about your family here.” Jensen got serious for a moment and pointed to everyone.

“Y'all have nothing to worry about, I could never forget you,” you smiled and hugged Jensen while the crowd awed. “Anyway, next question!” you turned to a man holding a mic.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Um, are you excited to be on Stranger Things and will it interfere with you being on Supernatural?” a man asked on the other side of the room. You stared at the ceiling as you thought about the conflicting times.

“I am very excited, but sadly, it will interfere with working on Supernatural. I’ll probably show up here and there in a few episodes, but as of right now my main focus is Stranger Things.” The crowd awed, but not from an adorable moment like before, it was for the inevitable chunk in time without you on the show; they did it just to try and keep you staying stuck with them and you loved the family more for it.

“I know, I know. It’s sad, but it’s not forever! Like I said, it’ll probably only be for a season.”

“She’s a big actress now, huh?” Jensen pursed his lips, a smile tugging at the ends. “Soon enough you’ll see her name on every billboard in every city!”

“I think you’re going a little overboard there,” you chuckled.

“Nah, you can never go overboard when it comes to our favorite sister!” Jared pulled you into another warm and familiar hug.

“Anyway,” you huffed after you’d pulled away from Jared, setting your hands on the mic which was still in the mic stand. “Who’s next?”


Jared and Jensen answered a few questions, then came another for you. “I was wondering if we would see a crossover episode between Stranger Things and Supernatural?” the woman asked. You pondered on it with an intrigued smirk at the idea, but then it dawned on you:

“Probably not, considering that Stranger Things takes place in the 1980s, way before my time,” you chuckled sheepishly.

“Maybe you time traveled?” Jared suggested with a shrug.

“Maybe,” you replied deviously, deciding not to completely destroy the idea and at the same time making them even more enthusiastic about the possibility.

I hope y’all like this one! I’m open for tips on improving!


Requested by Anonymous:
“Can you do a fic where the reader is a teen that’s been on spn since she was a kid and they are at a convention and the rest of the cast is teasing her (nice teasing) because she got a really big role in a new show for instance (stranger things) or whatever show”

Tags: @magicalsis11 @joanne-egberp @16wiishes @fanboyswhereare-you @athenepallas @spnkisum @xsecretrejectx @jamric @oneshotsdeanshort @jensen-jarpad @capruinedmylife @bea789 @starswirlblitz @of-virtuoso @damalseer @iamflanneltrash @zeusmyster

If you would like to be tagged/untagged then send me an ask/message!

Imagine Dean gets you drunk and then gets you pregnant...

Warning: Dean smut by request

Pairing: Dean x Reader


When Dean walks into your father’s store and buys 1200 rounds of ammo for a Sig 1911 you don’t think twice about who he is or where he comes from. When he asks you out for a drink you say yes because he’s good looking and you don’t already know him. Two things that top the list of importance in a small-town.  He’s polite, buys all your drinks and actually listens to what you have to say.  He makes you laugh and you make him grin when your eyes light up. After a few cocktails you’re touching his hand, and letting your shoulder rub into his.  

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The Initiation - A.I

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

part ¼ for my mini gang!5sos series. I just want to say thanks to @malumie for destroying me with this idea. It was the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me. This is also virgin!Ashton for all you people obsessed with virgin Ash


The street lamp shining down on the wet pavement was the only thing lighting Ashton’s route back to the ratty apartment he couldn’t afford to stay in. This wasn’t how he pictured his life, just barely eighteen, a high school drop out trying to make ends meet.

He didn’t have the support around him to push through in school which was such a shame. He had the grades to make it, but he didn’t have the motivation to continue when his sister died, especially when Ashton knew it was mainly him to blame. They had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and he just happened to piss off the wrong person…that was two years ago, and as much as his parents swore they didn’t blame him, he could see the disappointment in their eyes. So, he did what any sixteen year old at the time would do. He ran.

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Chat (Request)

harry has been gone on tour for a few weeks. y/n and harry are video chatting and he’s telling you how much he misses you and how he wishes he was there to hold to you and kiss you.

————————————————————————————————-

Why had you bought such a large bed?

Normally, when two people were sleeping in it, the size was perfect. But now that you were alone, the bed seemed overly massive. Plus, even with all the blankets, you were cold. You were so used to have two, giant, lanky arms wrapped around you, or feet sticking through your legs, or a pile of messy hair right beside your head or on your chest. Now it was just you and the bed.

Was the room always this big? It seemed so empty and eerily quiet. Also, you were just now noticing that the window didn’t close all the way and the wind was making an annoying whistle sound, which was keeping you awake. You had cleaned up the bedroom this afternoon; laundry, vacuuming and general dusting. It was weird only having one person to do laundry for. All of Harry’s dirty laundry that remained when he had left for tour had been washed and folded and put away the first time you had done a load. Now all the clothes were yours, other than one sweater of Harry’s that you insisted on wearing around the house every day. Even that was starting to lose the scent of Harry that had clung to it for a few weeks; now it just smelled like you.

You were missing Harry more than you would like to admit. This wasn’t the first time that he had gone away and left you alone for an extended period of time but you were feeling especially lonely and vulnerable this time around.

You knew why. Before Harry had left, your stress level was through the roof. You were trying to deal with school and work which was putting your anxiety at an all time high. Normally, Harry was the one who was able to get you to calm down when you started getting overwhelmed. Now that he was gone though, you had to take care of yourself.

Laying in bed by yourself was a dangerous thing. Your mind was not going to let you sleep or focus on anything at all. The only thing running through your mind was the amount of work you had to accomplish by the end of the week. There was no way you were going to be able to get it all finished in time. You would probably run out of time and then fail your course and then flunk out of your program and be forced to work a dead end job for the rest of your life. If that happened, Harry would probably break up with you because who wants to date a girl who can’t even get a decent job?

Before Harry left, he had told you to call him any time you needed him. He knew how you were if you got too far into your own head and, because he knew you were extra stressed out around this time of year, he made sure to reiterate that point many, many times before leaving.

“Call me.” He had whispered, pressing kiss after kiss to your face in the airport. “Please, call me if you need anythin’. Don’t let it get bad, okay? Call me; don’ care what time it is or wha’ I’m doin’.”

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Pretty Girls and Posion Smiles

So I got way distracted from studying by a single, powerful image of Fem!Tim from my Wayne Girls AU braiding Fem!Damian’s hair while instructing her on how to use her femininity and weaknesses against her enemies. In other words, completely useless for nursing. So here it is, whatever this is.


“Ahem,” comes a huffy little voice to Tabitha’s right. Her face doesn’t even move as she continues typing for an extra few seconds or so just to annoy the brat. Damira has been standing there for the better part of 10 minutes, looking annoyed and put out and Tabitha has been all too happy to ignore the little princess. Beth is forced to spend the rest of the evening with her anyway.

“Rachel’s in her room getting ready for the gala tonight; now quit bothering me.” Tabitha says eventually just because it’s irritating to have Damira’s scowling face in her peripheral vision. Instead, Damira sits unhappily on the seat next to her and crosses her arms like a grumpy child. Tabitha sighs and saves what she’s working on before glaring at her younger sister. “What do you want?”

“You tied up my hair last week for patrol.” Damira begins reluctantly, unease written all over her rounded face. “It was secure and comfortable and didn’t move during the entire route. Grayson says you are the best hairstylist and I demand you do it again for the gala this evening.” Tabitha stares before quietly shutting her laptop and setting it off to the side before stretching out her fingers for the delicate art of hair styling. After all, it’s not every day Damira Wayne would stoop down to her lowly level to ask for something as personal as haircare. And Tabitha has been trying to get on with the newest Robin recently because she has completely gotten over being replaced and mocked and nearly killed. Mostly.

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Let's set this straight for all the people who think Yuuki Yuuna's final episode was an asspull.

Okay think about this for a second. When Togo was told the truth by Sonoko, she mentioned that Shinju was the only god to side with the humans against their extermination. Why would you side with someone who is undeniably the underdog and then make it so that their lives are miserable? The answer is that you wouldn’t unless you absolutely needed to. You only do these things if they are necessary for survival, and it was. Why would the Shinju endanger itself against an overwhelmingly powerful enemy and every single other god out there? It must have seen something in the potential of the human race and did what was necessary to bring out that potential. It may have been hard on the heroes, but that’s why they have the aptitude tests. Because a real hero can take this kind of beating and still stand up for what is right. And as proof from previous generations of heroes, Shinju-sama and the Taaisha are always trying to improve the hero system. Before the battle that made Togo lose her memories and legs, Shinju implemented the Mankai and the fairy system from the battle data they gathered from Washii’s team’s fight. Shinju never meant to keep what it had taken from these girls. It had always held them as collateral for the powers they received for the purpose of gathering the data it needed to preserve it’s own life and the life of the human race. Sonoko didn’t get better til the end because they still needed her power in case of emergency and Togo never got her legs back til the end because they needed her to become a hero with Yuuna again (the hero who showed the highest aptitude of all). Give your body and receive power, have that power taken away and your body returns to you.

It’s simply the concept of equivalent exchange and people don’t see that even though they explicitly explained it in previous episodes. It’s kind of annoying that people see this as an asspull even though it’s blatantly obvious that it’s not. It was even foreshadowed well and kept consistent with the themes of the show. People seem to be just upset that they didn’t get their “grimdark” ending.

Remember guys, no part of literature is pointless no matter how insignificant it may seem at first: 

There’s probably more I can say but I’m tired of having to spell things out for people who don’t want to take a step back and think for themselves. Anyways, this was a great show and my AOTS. My final rating for it is an 8/10.

Happy Birthday Jay Park !

A video posted by 이광민 (@2gwaaaaaaam) on Apr 24, 2016 at 8:05am PDT

Scenario

This is just a small birthday drabble. It’s not fluff guys. It’s just something I thought of and I hope Jay has the best birthday and for him to keep on being healthy, happy and wonderful and to continue on making amazing music and be the amazing performer and artist that he is and keep on supporting his friends and family and fans and just be an overall wholesome CEO and to make sure to remember to keep his granolas stock up. :)

You couldn’t help the small flutter at the pit of your stomach as his eyes met yours right before he blew the candles. Once the lit candles extinguish a chorus of cheers and claps were heard all around the room, and Wegun started playing the music again. You saw the lights at the sides of the room slowly brightening up bit by bit and you saw how everyone crowd around Jay. He was always crowded on. That was just how he is. You were going to move towards the bar when you felt someone tugged your wrist and you smiled turning your head back. You stomach drop slightly at the sight of Ju Kyung instead of the man you wanted.

‘You’re not going to wish him happy birthday?’ Ju Kyung asked and you just chuckled at his question.

‘He’s still going to be thirty if I wish him a bit later.’ You answered amused with the question.

‘I’m offended.’ Jay’s voice suddenly interrupted the two of you. He was behind Ju Kyung who chuckled at his CEO and his best friend’s. He likes the dynamic between the two. He likes how they were both just friends even when they love each other. He likes how they represent all the girls and boys who stayed friends despite being so close. ‘I’m only 29.’ He continued which made you rolled your eyes and pushes him away when he expanded his arms for a hug.

‘What? No birthday hugs?’ he teased. You ignored him walking towards the bar with the two man following behind you.

‘So what did you get me for my birthday?’

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The Frerard Theories: .she’s the prettiest girl at the party and she can prove it with a solid right hook.

Disclaimer:I’m not saying that this is the truth as for only Gerard and Frank know whatthe truth was. This is just a 20 year old girl who gets bored enough sometimes to analyze lyrics, and let me tell you, as an English Literature student I’m pretty damn good at it. If you don’t like frerard, don’t continue reading. I don’t want to change your mind, I don’t want for you to try and change mine. If you want to discuss something in a civilized way, feel free to contact me but otherwise I’m not interested. Also, note that I won’t ever, ever in my whole life go harassing these two men with frerard stuff because they have expressed they don’t like it and it’s disrespectful to not comply with what they want.

.she’s the prettiest girl at the party and she can prove it with a solid right hook.

i got my bags all packed and i’m ready to go. i’m standing outside of your figurative door. and i’m ready for the flight or to fall of a cliff, but if it’s alright with you i’d rather not miss out on us. cause your face is all i need to stay sane. i’ve spent my life getting in my own way. so i could use something good, i really need this to work out. of course the way things have been going it might be smarter to just cash out. but you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m sinking fast so it’s alright. i’ve tied my stomach in knots and I’m ready to know. i’ll put it on the line if you’d just give it a go. cause i wanna be the only one to hold you so close and so tight. and if it’s cool with you, i’d really love to spend the night. you said you never wanna be saved, well, that’s ok because i really wouldn’t know how. just know that the best that i’ll ever be is whatever you make me and wherever you are…you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, cause i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but i’m sinking fast, so it’s alright. all we wanted was what we were, and what we were was young and naive. i found my place in this world, it’s in your wake. you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, because i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but once in a while, i wish you would tell me if you even care. because i’m sinking fast, and i need you…i need you to know that i’m alright.

First of all, i’d like to say this song is beautiful. One of my favourites of .stomachaches. and yes, i do think it talks about Gerard, and I’ll be also talking about the video because I found some interesting things there too.

This song is about a break up. It’s about Frank not being ready to move on. i got my bags all packed and i’m ready to go. i’m standing outside of your figurative door. This is basically Frank saying “you’re throwing me out again.” He’s standing on a figurative door because Gerard was never clear to him, that’s why it’s not a literal door. Also, I think he’s telling us to not take this literally, to search for a ‘’figurative’’ meaning. Standing on someone’s door is also a way of saying that he’s out there, waiting for him.

and i’m ready for the flight or to fall of a cliff ‘’and I’m ready to move on (the flight) or rather fall off a cliff.’’ He’s saying that all of this makes him feel bad, that he’s trying so hard to move on but he feels like falling because it hurts. Because he can’t be with Gerard, and he loves him. He doesn’t want things to end. This was written when they started interacting a bit again after the band’s break up, mind this.

but if it’s alright with you i’d rather not miss out on us. ‘’but please, if you just gave me another chance, I’d be there. No matter what.’’ They are talking a little again, and this is giving frank hopes. He’s trying to be there, to get back together, no matter what. Because when you love someone, you give them all the chances in the world. They can treat you badly, they can hurt you. But you still want to not miss out on them.

cause your face is all i need to stay sane. Gerard is what keeps Frank sane. Remember back in ProjRev, when it all seemed to have ended between them? Frank was going crazy. He was so depressed it almost hurts to see his performances with LeATHERMOUTH and read his lyrics and poems. Not being with Gerard makes him be ‘’crazy’’, mentally ill, depressed. Performing with Gerard, just seeing his face, keeps him happy, because Frank lives for Gerard. We all know he didn’t want the band to be done. He didn’t see it coming, he has said that. He didn’t know about it and he didn’t like it. That’s why he got pissed at Gerard in the first place, because as always, Gerard wasn’t being clear with him. Frank misses this band, it was his life, he’s said that. I think it wasn’t just a band. It was what connected him with Gerard and now it’s done and he didn’t want this to happen. But then again, he only wants to make Gerard happy, because seeing his face is what keeps him alive.

i’ve spent my life getting in my own way. so i could use something good, i really need this to work out. To me this line is fucking interesting. I mean, if this was about Jamia, how does she fit in here? He knows that everything is going to work out between them, for fuck’s sake, they are married. Everything is okay between them, this is not about her. This is about a relationship where both of the people involved have made mistakes. Frank getting engaged with Jamia in the middle of the writing of TBP for example. We all know something bad happened in that house, because suddenly Frank was engaged and they didn’t flirt on stage anymore. Gerard reacted by getting himself engaged with someone that was stalking him. I mean, it was like he was screaming at Frank ‘’I don’t fucking need you. I don’t love you’’ (yes, I think I don’t love you was a song about G+F). They both have made mistakes, they both have gotten in their own ways. Now, he says ‘’I really need this to work out’’, basically, he really needs all this new interaction with Gerard to lead to something more, because he can’t stand the possibility of losing him. Period.

of course the way things have been going it might be smarter to just cash out. This line talks about how their relationship actually is. How Gerard always deceives him, makes him think he’s ready to take the next step just to let him fall again, that’s why it would be smarter to not to do this. They have just started talking again, and Frank is struggling with the idea that if he lets Gerard in again, it’s just going to cause him a lot of pain, but then again, he can’t simply bear the idea of being without him.

but you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. ‘’but I’m always thinking about you.’’ Of course he is. Even if this song wasn’t for Gerard (which it is) it doesn’t make any sense to try and fit Jamia here. The only person that makes sense here is Gerard. If you don’t believe this, please give me your reasons. ‘’the things that you say hurt me most of the time’’ I think this refers to Gerard not being clear about them. Gerard telling the world it was a fake, nothing but ‘’stage gay.’’ How would it make you feel if the person you’re in love with told the world that your relationship was a fake? Knowing that Gerard doesn’t want to say the truth about them must be really hard.

but i’m sinking fast so it’s alright. He’s saying that he’s going back to being depressed again, and really fast. He obviously misses him, he misses the band and he misses everything that has to do with Gerard altogether. It’s destroying me knowing that Frank is depressed about the break up. That he didn’t want it to end. I mean, I understand the reasons behind it, I understand why Gerard had to put it to an end. I understand why Mikey needed this. But Frank didn’t want this to end, because it was his connection with Gerard. Months of touring, just both of them, no wives, no kids. No real life while being on the tour, just them against the world:

Frank: We live on each other… we’re in each other’s faces.
Gerard: We sleep with each other.
Frank: Like, 24/7, yeah. I mean, that’s it. It’s us and the world.

‘’it’s just us and the world.’’ Mind this, he isn’t referring to the whole band here, Gerard isn’t referring to the whole band here. They are talking just about them, saying that when they are together, there’s nothing else in the world.

i’ve tied my stomach in knots and I’m ready to know. ‘’I’ve tried to wrap my head around the idea of not having you ever again, so just tell me.’’ That’s it. This is a song about a break up, a story that ends, but one of the people involved isn’t ready to move on, as I’ve said. Does this ring a bell? Do you know anyone who isn’t ready to move on from someone and something? Frank here is just asking Gerard to be clear for once and for all, if they are done, if this is it, he wants him to tell Frank. Even if it hurts (stomach tied in knots), even if it’s going to be difficult. Frank needs to know what is going to happen now that the band is done.

i’ll put it on the line if you’d just give it a go. As always, Frank is being extremely poetic here. Let’s give a look at the definition of ‘’put it on the line’’: to risk failure. Basically, Frank is willing to risk being hurt again if Gerard would only give this another chance. Another start. Frank wants to do this again, even if he knows it would probably involve a lot of pain, because he loves Gerard. He needs Gerard, he wants to be with him. This is Frank asking Gerard if they could get back together, maybe even as a band.

cause i wanna be the only one to hold you so close and so tight. Boom. Frank again being extremely explicit. Frank again telling us that this isn’t about Jamia. Of course he’s the only one that holds her ‘’close and tight.’’ They are fucking married. But he’s not the only one who holds Gerard that way, is he? He wants Gerard just for him, he wants this to be real. He needs to stop hiding, he needs Gerard all for himself.

and if it’s cool with you, i’d really love to spend the night. ‘’if you’d let me, I’d stay forever.’’ I think the purpose of this song is to make Gerard know that Frank is still there. That even if he’s hurt, even if he knows he would probably hurt Frank again, he’s still there for him. No matter what. But Gerard doesn’t want to break his plastic life. I mean, I know he loves LynZ. But I catch like a weird vibe from that relationship, like something’s off. It’s like Gerard feels the need to talk about her, almost praise her, just so no one suspects. Look at Frank’s relationship with Jamia for example: Frank doesn’t need to praise her at all, because he’s sure about that. He knows what Jamia is for him, and he knows she’s in love with him, and when that happens, you don’t need to constantly talk about it. Gerard, on the other hand, feels the need to tell everyone how awesome his life is, how happy he is. Usually, this happens when that isn’t true. Usually this happens when you’re not happy with your life, but if you let people know about that, it’s not going to make things easier. Questions would be asked. Gerard doesn’t want that. He’s had the opportunity to deny being into guys a thousand times, and all of them, he hasn’t been clear about it. It just seems a bit off to me.

you said you never wanna be saved, well, that’s ok because i really wouldn’t know how. This is Gerard telling Frank that he doesn’t want to be saved from the lies he’s gotten both of them into. I mean, how would the world react if Gerard said tomorrow that he was in love with Frank? Do you know how many questions that would raise? Frank couldn’t help Gerard out on this one, because they’ve tried to not to talk about this a thousand times. Gerard has hidden in his plastic life and if he told us tomorrow that he was in love with Frank, everyone would be asking questions, everyone would be judging. And Frank really doesn’t know how to help him here. UPDATE: I JUST FOUND LIKE THE ULTIMATE EVIDENCE THAT CONNECTS GERARD TO THIS SONG:

“I learned that the world doesn’t want to be saved, and it will fucking punch you in the face if you try.”-Gerard Way.

Fuck me if this song isn’t about Gerard. Like come on, too many coincidences.

just know that the best that i’ll ever be is whatever you make me and wherever you are… just know that the best of me is you. Just know that I’ll be there for you, because you make me a better person. Just know that being with you, in the same place at the same time, is what makes me the best of me. I mean. Come on. This is obviously Frank telling Gerard that he loves him, that he wants to be with him. If this isn’t a fucking declaration of love, I don’t know what is.

you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, cause i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but i’m sinking fast, so it’s alright. Even if you say things that hurt me like 24/7, I kinda understand you, because I know it’s difficult to put up with me. Have you ever seen Frank on stage? He kicked Gerard in the balls once. He’s injured Bob, Mikey, I think he’s even injured Ray at some point. He’s ‘’difficult’’ to deal with, he knows it. He understands to a point why this is not easy for Gerard. He knows he has flaws, that’s why he’s ‘’on Gerard’s side.’’

all we wanted was what we were, and what we were was young and naïve. This is for me the most explicit line in this whole song. ‘’what we wanted is in the past now, we were young and didn’t have a care.’’ He wants that back. But he can’t have it because they are both ‘’grown ups’’ now. They have a family, they have broken up the band. They are doing other things. They thought the world wouldn’t notice about what was going on between them, and that’s why they were naïve. He wants that back, that innocence, those first moments of their relationship.

i found my place in this world, it’s in your wake. ‘’my place in this life is at your side.’’ He wants to see Gerard when he’s most vulnerable ‘’in his wake.’’ He wants to be with Gerard at all times, because it’s where he feels like he belongs. Being side by side with Gerard is what makes him feel alive, it’s what makes him feel happy.

you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, because i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but once in a while, i wish you would tell me if you even care. because i’m sinking fast, and i need you…i need you to know that i’m alright. Again, Frank knows he’s not easy to put up with, he has flaws too and he’s made mistakes as well, that’s why he understands that Gerard says stuff that hurts him and that’s why he’s on his side. This is where shit gets real ‘’but once in a while, I wish you’d tell me if you even care’’ this excludes Jamia. Like it’s not possible to say this song is for her. It’s not possible. He knows that Jamia cares. Period. But Gerard? How can he know if Gerard cares? He’s been letting him get hurt for years now. Gerard has been making out with him just to let him go shortly after because he was scared. Gerard has been in love (still is if you ask me) with Frank just to marry another person because he didn’t want the world to know about this. If you loved someone and they didn’t show it to you, they didn’t want to go public with you, you’d wonder if they care at all. If they love you or this is just for fun. Frank needs to know this because he’s feeling depressed again. Even if Gerard doesn’t care anymore, he needs to know if he cared back in the day. Now, he repeats ‘’I need you’’ for five times (because he needs Gerard, I’ve said that earlier), and he needs him to know that he’s alright. That it’s okay, he didn’t want to break up the band, but he understands why. He wants to be with Gerard, but he understands why he can’t be with him. Still he needs him. (this seriously breaks my heart).

Other facts:

Now, since I love this song, I’ve seen all the live performances I could find on YouTube. And what was my surprise when I found one where Frank said (and I literally quote): ‘’I wrote about one of the strongest PEOPLE I know. And it’s a very true story. It’s about being a complete mess but still finding true love and hoping that it kinda saves you from yourself.’’ Fuck my life if this isn’t about Gerard. It’s very interesting how he says PEOPLE. Not Girl. Not woman. PEOPLE. Again, as he does in .where do we belong? anywhere but here. he’s making sure to not to use a specific gender. I mean, come on. Gerard is one of the strongest people Frank knows, the man was able to get sober within 14 days. Remember when Gerard was throwing up in the bushes and falling to the floor? He told Frank: I’ll get better, I promise. (it’s a very true story). 

Now comes the huge part: being a complete mess but still finding true love and hoping that kinda saves you from yourself. This, for me, has two options: Gerard being a complete mess, falling in love with Frank and hoping Frank saves him from himself (I’ll get better, I promise). It wasn’t Mikey he was promising this to. It was Frank. We all know Frank was by Gerard’s side all through his rehab. (also, this reminds me of Boy Division, when Gerard sings ‘’save me from my self-destruction’’). Too many coincidences again. The other possibility, is that he’s talking about himself and about how falling in love with Gerard, even if it hurt him, saved him when he was having stomach problems and being depressed in general back in LeATHERMOUTH. When did Frank start to get better? When he started talking again with Gerard. Of fucking course.

Now, the video. It shows a bear who falls in love with a girl, but in order to approach her, he has to shave all his hair and become human. He has to hide his true self. To me this talks about being in the closet. I mean, Gerard isn’t clear about him liking guys. Gerard hid himself to be with Frank. Just like the bear. And then, when he finally shows the girl who he really is, the girl turns out to be just like him. Frank is telling Gerard that if they stop hiding, if they stop pretending, they can be together. If they let their true selves come out, they can be together again. Just look at the video, to me that’s what means.

Second Chances ~pt 2~

pairing: calum x reader

word count: 1,837

requested whoop whoop

NO SMUT–that was just to get the plot rolling ;)

the VAST MAJORITY of this is a flashback (italics) to give the story behind the breakup of Y/N and calum and all that jazz

enjoy xx

part one

You had woken up in such a good mood this morning. The boys had just finished their world tour, which ended in the East Coast, and were scheduled to arrive back in LA this afternoon, and to say you were excited was an understatement.

Though they were gone for very long periods of time performing, you couldn’t be more proud of the boys. To see them grow up and live the life they dreamed of when the band started was unlike anything…and to be by Calum’s side every step of the way–it was truly indescribable. You loved that Calum was happy, and he made you happier than you ever could’ve imagined. He was everything you ever needed in life, and although there were rumors that he had some girl behind your back, he denied every one of them.

You didn’t live with him despite your 2 years of being in a relationship, purely because he was gone all the time and had never had time to fully settle down in a place of his own (with you, of course). But now, they had set aside the majority of the year to take a break and actually get a place to call home in Los Angeles, considering they hadn’t had an official place to live for the last few years of their lives. And right when Calum got home and was ready to, the two of you would look for a place of your own.

For now, though, you roomed with Y/F/N. She had been your best friend since you moved to LA, and you two have been through thick and thin together. She absolutely loved Calum, and how he made you oh so happy. She was happy that you found someone like him, although he did have her doubts from time to time. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t as well.

Though every time you would ask him about it, he would give you the reassurance that he loved you more than anything and that he was yours and you were his. And that sense of relief and security strengthened your trust in him.

He had always been yours and you would always be his.

However, nothing lasts forever. This was proven when you woke up this morning and while making your coffee, your friend had came up to you, phone in hand.

“Y/N?” She asked cautiously, “Have you talked to Calum since last night?”

You glanced back at her, skating your head as you poured your coffee into your favorite mug. “No, he said him and the boys were going to celebrate the ending of their tour last night. Why?”

She hesitated for a moment, looking at her phone screen back into your eyes multiple times. You took it upon yourself to ask no further, rather, to look at what was on her screen. When you tilted your head to view the picture, your eyes widened and you almost dropped the coffee in your hand.

It was a selfie of some girl you had never seen before, her blonde hair draped over half of her face and she appeared to be lying in bed, the sheets pulled up to her chin. In the back of the photo, you saw Calum lying on his back–his chest fully exposed, his skin inked with the tattoos you absolutely adored. His eyes were closed in a deep slumber, his mouth hanging open.

You looked up at your friend, and she looked as scared as you did. Although, you were angry as well. “Do you think it’s real?” She asked you.

Taking a deep breath to compose yourself slightly, you put your hand to your forehead, nursing the headache that had just formed. “I don’t know, I honestly have no idea.” You looked at your friend who was biting her lip anxiously. “It could be photoshopped. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy stuff before and it’s been fake.”

You friend shrugged her shoulders. It was true–you had seen poorly photoshopped pictures of Calum with other girls, but this one looked incredibly real to you.

“It could be fake” You repeated. “You don’t think Calum would do anything like that to me, do you?”

She shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. “I dunno, I’d ask him, honestly.”

Without wasting any time, you fled to your bedroom, grabbing your phone and texting Calum.

to Calum♡: hey, i know you’re busy getting packed, but theres a picture of you and some blonde in bed together going around…its fake, right?

You tapped your nails on your screen repeatedly in a nervous way, your heart racing and your breathing completely ceasing as you saw the 3 little dots pop up to see that he was typing.

from Calum♡: we need to talk when I get back. i love you, Y/N, please know that

You shut your eyes tightly as tear immediately formed, biting down on your bottom lip hard to keep yourself from crying. Without realizing it, you had dropped your phone, and you brought your hands up to hide your face as you cried into them. He didn’t need to come right tout and say it; the text said it all. And that alone broke your heart.

Your friend appeared in your doorway. “Y/N?” She asked, slowly walking over to you.

You didn’t remove your hands from your face; she walked over to embrace you as you cried into her shoulder, rubbing her hand up and down your back in attempts to soothe you. “Y/N, everything is going to be okay, alright? You don’t need that asshole to be happy, it’s his loss. He’s just a dumb jerk that didn’t realize how amazing you are.”

Shaking your head at your friend’s words, you wiped your eyes and looked at her. “You don’t understand, Y/F/N. He meant the fucking world to me, I gave him everything and this is what I get?” You asked, tears streaming down your face.

“Please don’t cry, love.” Your friend told you, pushing the hair out of your face. “You don’t need a guy to be happy.”

This is what Y/F/N kept telling you as you laid on the couch in your shared living room whilst clutching a pillow to your chest. You watched old reruns of Friends as you waited for Calum to come knocking at your door, and when he did that afternoon, it was your friend that answered, refusing to let you get up and answer it yourself.

“What do you want, asshole?”

You turned your head to see your friend standing with her hands on her hips in front of Calum, who held his head in shame. 

“I need to talk with Y/N.”

“She doesn’t want your sad excuse for cheating on her.” She bit back at him.

You spoke up. “No, Y/F/N, let him in.”

“I’m not letting this asshole–”

“Let him in goddammit!” You yelled at your friend as you sat up.

She sighed, leaving the room to go into her bedroom. Calum looked up at your from across the room as he put down his bag. You scoffed at him. “What do you think you’re doing? You aren’t staying here, that’s for sure.”

He sheepishly picked the bag up and walked over to where you were, sitting in the chair next to the couch. “Look, Y/N, what I did was–”

“Inexcusable.” You finished the sentence for him. 

“I didn’t mean to, me and the boys were just out at a party and I guess I had one too many beers, and–”

“And you thought it was okay to sleep with some slut at a club, right?” You asked harshly.

He shook his head. “Y/N, I’m telling you, it meant nothing to me.”

“How many times has this happened and I never knew about it?” He hesitated a moment, looking down at his hands in his lap. You let out another scoff. “It’s not like it’s going to change anything. Whether you fucked one girl or 20 girls behind my back, it’s not going to change the fact that you’re going to walk right out of my apartment in about 5 minutes as my ex boyfriend.”

His head shot up, his eyes glossing over. “Please, Y/N, I swear it won’t happen again.”

“How many fucking times did you cheat on me?” You asked louder, growing more irritated with him by the second.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno.”

“Bullshit.”

“Y/N please, just give me a second chance.” He begged.

“After you’ve cheated on me multiple fucking times?” You asked, shaking your head. “You’re pathetic. I can’t believe I ever fucking trusted you.”

“I swear they meant nothing to me. Y/N, you’re the only one I want to be with.” He said, standing up. “I don’t want any other girl I’ve slept with, because all they were to me were one night stands. You’re so fucking perfect and I’m so sorry for doing that to you, you didn’t deserve that. But please, we make each other so much happier and so much better, without you in my life I don’t know what I’d do.”

You stood up right in front of him, looking up at him towering over you. “Then you should’ve thought about that before you hopped into bed with whatever girl you could get with. Get out of my house and go enjoy your life.” Your lip quivered as you spoke the last sentence, but you turned your head and walked into your bedroom, slamming the door shut behind you.

“I need to talk to him.” You told your friend, who was wide eyed and silent the entire time you explained to her what had occurred last night. 

She couldn’t believe what you were saying. “Are you sure talking to him is the best thing to do? The last time you talked to him you hated him, Y/N.”

“I can’t just ignore him, though. I can’t pretend like this never happened because it did.” You told her.

“Are you going to give him another chance?”

You sighed, pursing your lips together. “That’s the thing. I feel like he doesn’t deserve another chance at what he’s done to me, but if you saw him this morning and heard what he was saying…I couldn’t help but feel bad for him.”

“Feel bad for him? He broke your heart, Y/N.” 

“Yeah I know, but I can’t keep holding a grudge like this. It’s been a year; I need to talk over things with him.”

She let out a tired sigh, rubbing her tired eyes since it was still early. “Maybe you should sleep on it. Y’know, think things over some.”

You nodded. “Yeah…I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.”

“If you need anything, just know I’m here for you, always.” She said, smiling at you.

You smiled back at her. “Thanks. It means a lot.”

Dean’s been planning this for weeks. 

He’s dressed in his Most Masculine outfit (feat. the muddiest pair of boots he owns), is wearing his Most Masculine (well, only) cologne, and has written out his list of things to say on the Most Masculine Notepad to Ever Be Written Upon (which also happens to be decorated with a little fleur de lis emblem at the top but, hey, fleur de lis can be masculine if it wants, right?). 

On said list is the following: 

  • I’m still me ok
  • I haven’t changed
  • I just
  • like dick too
  • think butts are hot on everyone even if some belong to dudes
  • would like to sex a certain angel real good
  • like guys as much as I like girls.
  • all the more for me suck it 
  • you won’t keep walking in on me getting it up the butt i promise
  • Ill put a sock on the door whenever I’m getting some
  • itll be a blue one so you know i’m w/ a dude
  • I won’t force you to go to gay bars with me either 
  • we might need to buy lube sometimes though?????? oh god lubes such a wierd weird word why 
  • ………..but i’ll pay for it w/ my own money? 
  • yeah ok.
  • note to self: DO NOT BLUSH BECAUSE THAT FUCKER WILL PROBABLY HOLD IT OVER YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
  • also get more gas you’re running out

Dean peers down at his list one more time, mentally reminding himself to get gas because he still hasn’t, then walks into Sam’s room. 

“Sammy,” he says, opting to think of his brevity as more of the succinct kind than the I’m-going-to-shit-myself kind. 

“Mm?” replies his brother, not looking up from his laptop. 

“Gotta talk." 

Again, succinct. 

Sam finally glances up, raising his eyebrows and shutting his laptop. “Yeah, uh, sure, Dean. What’s up?” 

Dean stiffly walks over to the bed and plonks down on the edge. “Uh.” He squints at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand, then, with the eloquence he’s been practicing all these weeks, says, “I’m still me and guys have butts and I’ll put a blue sock on the door and I’ll buy my own lube.” Pause. “We also need gas.”

Nailed it. 

"Um. What?" 

Okay, apparently not. 

Dean shuffles a bit, readjusting his position and shoving the useless paper in his pocket. “Sam, I think… I think I might be a li’l gay. Not too gay or anything. Halfway through. Like. Bisexual. That’s the word. I think I’m bisexual.” 

"Uh…huh.” Sam looks at him blankly, then turns his attention back to his laptop as he opens it back up. 

Dean blinks. “That’s it?” 

“I guess? I mean, were you expecting me to act like I didn’t know, or…?" 

"I— Wait. You knew!?” Dean says, his voice pitching up at the end in a way that could be considered yelping but obviously wasn’t since he’s Dean Winchester. 

"…You didn’t know I knew?" 

How did you know?”

Sam stares at Dean like he’s a bit slow. “Dean, you do realise how much you flirt with dudes, right?” 

"Um." 

"And the way you look at Cas?" 

"Er." 

"And the way you get all flustered when you see a guy checking you out?" 

"Uh." 

Sam lets out a laugh and shakes his head. “I can’t believe you thought I didn’t know. Dean, seriously, I don’t care who you hook up with. As long as you’re happy, it’s cool by me. But just don’t tell me about it the next morning, okay? Girl or guy, I don’t wanna know what positions you did it in.”

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Okay.” Dean gets up, nods affirmatively, and turns to walk out the room.

“Hey, Dean?”

He comes to a screeching halt. “Yeah?”

“Remember to get gas.”

“Gas, right! Thanks, Sammy.” Dean grins, then adds, softer, “I mean it.”

Sam just smiles.

Trapped Part 3

Summary: In a zombie apocalypse, you meet Jackson and the two of you fight for life and love.

Length: 2479

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4

You walked through your encampment, looking around at the people. It was really small, no more than fifteen people, but you had all banded together to try to survive this apocalyptic world. Your encampment was in the forest currently, and there were always three or so people on watch for zombies. Everyone had to take turns going on watch while others slept. It worked out well that way, and you hadn’t lost anyone in a couple of weeks.

Keep reading

George.

Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: none

italics: Y/N

bold: Tom

Word count: 973

I woke up to find myself wraped around Tom’s right arm. God, I wish I could stay all day like this with him but it was Saturday and I had to work. I moved his arm very gentle back to his body, I didn’t wanted to wake him up.

Got up and made myself to the bathroom to take a shower. Brushed my teeth and then started making breakfast.

“Hey I didn’t heard you getting out of bed” Tom said with a raspy morning voice.

“Didn’t wanted to wake you up”

“So rude by the way” He said hugging me from behind kissing my cheek.

“Tom, it’s not like its the first time we sleep together”

“I don’t care, you know I love waking up to you by my side”

“So corny” I said feeling my cheeks blushing.

“Rude, again”

“You know I don’t know what to answer to romantic shit”

“You look so cute being awkward”

“Shut up. Eat.”

“So, I know you’ll say no but I’m still gonna give it a try”

“Now what?”

“How about.. you skip work today”

“You know I can’t. Especially today. You know this time of the year George needs as much help as he can get and Saturdays are the worst day of the week.”

“Can’t you just ask Emily to replace you?

“Didn’t I tell you? she’s in Miami, went to visit her grandmother with her family”

“Okay but it’s not like you need the money anyway”

“I’m helping him because he’s my friend.”

“Yeah, your super hot, handsome friend whom all girls would die to get a date with.” He said biting his lip looking troubled.

“Don’t be like that Tom.” I said caressing his right cheek with my right hand. “You know he and I are just friends. And, I don’t mind making money on my own. It’s not like my parents are gonna pay for my shit my entire life”

“Language.”

“I can’t help it sorry. But seriously how can you be jealous about him? I would be crazy to choose him over you” I said putting my arms around his neck.

“You know, just my insecure self poppin up” He said placing his hands on my waist.

“Yeah sure, you could never be insecure about anything”

“Maybe not but for you… I can’t explain it, like, you know I’m not possesive and I would never ask you to stop seeing people cause of my jealously but I think about you with someone that is not me and my blood boils, I can’t think I- I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I just stared at him slightly similing.

“God, that sounded so creppy” He said slaping his forehead.

“No i'ts fine, I mean, I do like the idea of you being a bit possesive over me..” I said smiling biting my lower lip.

“Is that so?” He smirked and placed my hair behind my neck to be able to kiss it.

“Tom stop I really need to get going” I said holding back myslelf from moaning.

“Not even a quicky?” He gave me his puppy eyes.

“You fucker, you just made me honry. But no. I really have to go.”

“Fine but I’ll pick you up when your shift’s over and you’re making this up to me”

“We’ll see about that” I winked at him.

…..

“Do you think I should lower the price on this?” George asked.

“Well, given the fact that your customers don’t really check the price tag… I’ll have to say no.”

“You’re right but it’s just my father is giving this at a price way to up. I mean he bought this at a cheaper price… I feel kind of guilty you know”

“It’s not on you pal. Now help me get this up there”

I could tell George had been staring at my neck this whole time.

“Okay what’s wrong with my neck”

“what?”

“you’ve been staring at it”

“okay um, you have a- a hickey..”

“what?” I said running to the bathroom.

“Son of a bitch” I said trying to cover the hickey with my hair.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah just um do you have a scarf or something? I really don’t want the customers noticing it”

“I don’t sorry but hey it’s not a big deal…”

“I know but still it makes me a bit embarassed. Like hello customer, yeah do you see that in my neck? yeah you’re right it’s a hickey. And yeah my boyfriend gave it to me when things were heating up last night..”

“So Tom gets a bit rough in bed?” He said with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

“I’m definitely not answering that”

George just laughed.

Night came and it was closing time.

“So you wanna get a drink when we’re done here? Ally and Max will be there”

“Oh sorry George, I- I have plans with Tom.. maybe another time?”

“Oh.. yeah it’s fine, I get it I mean he’s your boyfriend”

“What does that mean?”

“Well ever since you started dating him, we barely hang out”

“That’s not- that’s.. okay maybe but we see eachother here”

“you know its not the same..”

Heard someone knocked at the door.

“That must be Tom.. I’ll get my coat”

“Sure, I’ll let him in”

Went to grab my coat and when I got back George and Tom were just standing in silence.

“Hey babe!” Tom said grabbing me by the waist pulling me towards his body and giving me an unnecesary and very passionate kiss. I think he tried to emphasize that I was his.

“So Tom, I was thinking maybe we could hang out with my friends tonight? they’re meeting at a bar near here..”

“Sure love, whatever you want” Tom kissed my forehead.

“Is that okay with you George?”

“Yeah, it will be nice to hang out all of us. We’ve never really done that.”

“Want us to give you a ride? I mean we’re going to the same place..” I said laughing nervously.

“Okay. If you want to, you two can wait for me outside while I close this place..”

…..

A/N: I guess I’ll be making part 2???

Stupid Serge pt. 3

Sorry it took me so long to update this! I was just lacking in inspiration, I blame the excitement of the Valdaya Christmas lol, I just couldn’t bring myself to write angst after that!

This part is in Val’s pov because I think we need his side of the story to learn just why their relationship turned to crap. There will probably be just one more part, maybe two depending on where the story takes me. I’m trying to wrap up the story by Tuesday because that’s when I start school again and I probably won’t be able to write as much with both school and work taking up a big chunk of my time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part!

Part 1

Part 2


I woke up the next morning with one of the biggest hangovers I’ve had in a long time. I’ve made it a habit to drink myself into a stupor these past few months. Any time I’m not working it’s the only way I can avoid really thinking about how much I messed up with Daya. Oh no, Daya.

The last thing I clearly remember after Serge left the bar was dropping my phone in the toilet in a lame attempt at dialing Daya’s number to talk. Why did I think the men’s restroom was the appropriate location to talk to her? After that, everything was a blur. The very first thing I remember after that blur was sitting in her car, talking. It wasn’t a serious talk but I remember telling her that her number was the only one I knew by heart. It’s true. I don’t remember much after that. I don’t remember getting home or how I even got to bed. All I remember feeling was this warm sensation all over my body. It wasn’t the warmth you feel after filling your body up with bourbon, tequila, and whatever else I drank last night. No, it was the warmth you feel all over when you’re happy, truly happy. It’s then that it hit me; Daya had spent the night in my bed. I remember laying my head on her lap and her running her fingers through my hair.

That feeling of contentment doesn’t last though. I’m disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed in myself for calling Daya, for getting that drunk, and for allowing our first talk after our break up to be one I can’t even remember. I don’t think disappointed is the right word. I’m mad at myself.

I make my way out of my room and head into the kitchen for a glass of water. I’m passing through the living room when I hear her.

“H—hey, Val.”

I look at her in surprise. “Z, I thought you had left.” She looks just as bad as I feel. Her eyes are puffy. The same puffy eyes I was met with the day after we broke up and I came to get some of my things.

“No, I wanted to make sure you woke up okay. I turned on the coffeemaker; it should be ready by now.”

Of course she would do that. That’s just who she is, she’ll always care for people. “Yeah, thanks I’m alright. Just hungover.” I don’t know what to say to her. The atmosphere is weird, tense. I can’t even make eye contact with her. It has nothing to do with her. It’s me. If I look her in the eyes, then I’ll have to confront my feelings.

“Ummm, so I’m just going to head out now. It was… interesting seeing you again, Val.”

“Yeah…I need to head out anyway, need to get myself another phone.”

“Yeah, well bye”. I hear it in her voice again, that anger. I recognize that anger and I know that once again, it’s because of me. “Oh and Val, next time you decide to pull the same shit you did last night… call someone else.”

That’s when I realized that regardless of how angry and disappointed I was in myself, it wasn’t fair to continue to take it out on her. “WAIT! Z…I’m sorry. Thank you… for taking care of me last night.”

“You’re welcome… See you around, Val.” And with that, we’re done again. Only this time it’s her that’s leaving.

…………….

“Val, you need to face reality.”

“Bro, I have everything under control.”

“Then why did you get drunk to the point on oblivion… with Daya in your apartment.”

“Maks, I’m telling you, she was the only number I knew. I must have called her when I realized I couldn’t make it home on my own.”

“Did you guys at least get to talk once you sobered up?”

“…”

“Val.”

“No, I wasn’t exactly all that kind when I woke up.”

“For fucks sake, Val. Why not?”

“Because I was mad at myself for letting myself get this out of control and I took it out on her, okay?”

“Bro, you can’t keep doing this to her! The girl did everything she could for your relationship and you were too stubborn to compromise. Now look how your life is going!”

“I KNOW, I know…okay. I didn’t want to wait. I know I was caught up on my own vision of our future that I didn’t even stop to consider how she saw our future… I just wanted to get married right away; all I wanted was her as my wife.”

“Do you still want that?”

“…”

“Val, I’m telling you as your brother… because I love you, you need to figure this out. If you don’t think you can fix it, then leave her be.”

………

“Val, please…”

“Daya, I can’t okay? I can’t do this anymore. I just don’t understand where you’re coming from, and you don’t understand where I’m coming from.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Val? I.Do.Want.To.Marry.You. just not right now. I’m still young, you’re still young, and so what’s the rush?”

“I can’t do this right now, Daya. We’re done. I gotta go. I just came to pick up my stuff. We can talk about how we’ll split the furniture and the other expensive things some other time and I’ll pick up my half when you’re not here.”

“Val, you don’t have to do this…”

The truth is that I did know where she’s coming from. I could never have gotten married at her age but I had faith in us, in her. Ever since we got together I’ve had this fear in the back of my mind. My age. I was afraid that one day she would come to her senses and would fall out of love with me, that she would find someone closer to her age and leave me. I know it’s irrational, and that’s why I never told her. So once I proposed I was in a rush to get married. Because in my irrational mind, once we were married it would be happily ever after. I ruined that.

……………

Once I got off the phone with Maks, I went back to bed. I wasn’t all that sleepy but I wanted to continue to avoid my feelings. I woke up around 8 pm with a few missed calls and one text, all from one person: Momma.

Momma: Valentin I need you to call me.

I immediately started to worry. If something was wrong back in New York I’m sure Maks would have told me when we talked. As soon as I see that text I dial back home.

“Momma, what’s wrong?”

“Val, do you want me to go to California to knock some sense into you? Your father and I have had it.”

“What?”

“Maks called me and told me what happened with my Daya last night.”

I sighed, exasperated with this entire situation. “Oh, Momma. Please don’t start this.”

“You need to stop hurting that girl, Val. You’ve done that enough. I know you’re my son but I’m still angry at you for how you treated her.”

“Jeez, you sound just like Maks.”

“Val, answer me one thing.”

I think I knew where this was heading. “Yeah, ma?”

“Do you still love her?”

“…”

“Valentin, I asked you a question.”

“…yeah” I whispered.

“Then fix this… without hurting her even more. She didn’t deserve how you treated her. She was nothing but patient with you and you kept being stubborn. Want to know how your father and I have been married for so long? It’s because we compromise. That’s something you need to learn. She promised you the world… at a pace she was comfortable with and you refused to meet her halfway.”

“Momma…”

“Talk to her, Valentin.”

It’s not that easy, momma.”

“I know. But she at least deserves to know the real reason why you wanted to get married so fast. She deserves that, even if it’s just for closure.”

Growing up Girly:

I was in middle school
the first time I felt ashamed
about my body.
Other girls were filling out,
wearing short skirts and v-neck shirts;
promoting their sexuality
at the mere age of ten.
Chasing the boys with curly hair, manicured nails
and bright pink lip gloss to finish it off
because Disney told them to.

Before too long the hazing begins,
with spin the bottle, then seven minutes
in not so quite heaven,
with a boy in a closet
who’s voice is still in c major.
But still you’re expected to play
or be publicly shamed
for acting your age
because what could be more important
than popularity?

Once highschool sets in,
the labels begin
based on how many boys you have kissed
or beers you have risked.
So tell me are you a slut or a square?
A whore or a bore?
All based on the clothes that you wear,
but it just isn’t fair.

Lipstick and heels?
Well honey you’re trying too hard,
and must think you’re the best;
but sweat pants and sneakers,
well you must be a slob
who will never be asked by a boy to the prom.

From the age of five we are poked and prodded,
told that if you’re not skinny,
then you must be ugly,
and will grow into nothing
because ‘beauty’ is everything.

You’re told that without a man by your side
then you’re just a hag,
so unlucky.
Yet the gropes and the cat calls,
well they must be your fault,
for being born with long legs or large breasts
and deciding to own them.

Virgin or not, one wrong move makes you damaged
In the eyes of your peers who don’t act much better,
as if you should be ashamed of your growing sexuality.
So you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t,
and should you give into peer pressure
god forbid you get pregnant;
because it’s always your fault, if the condom breaks
and he runs away because he’s just a kid
who “don’t need that shhhh (shit)”.
“Girl you should have known better,
ever heard ‘wait ‘till marriage?’”
But they don’t ever care that it takes two to tango.

5 points for a make out, yeah, I know about that.
But oh honey please I know for a fact
that I’m worth more than that.
Since when did you earn the right
to turn my private sex life into your own propaganda,
we will never and could never live up to your standards.

They say you’re not good enough,
well how the hell would they know
because the boys, they’re just horny,
the girls, they’re just catty,
and so all their cruel words mean nothing
about who you are in reality.

— 

grace osborne

gracefullymisunderstood.tumblr.com

Anonymous asked you: Hello again!

A little preface before I start. I adore the cophine relationship and I want to see it work out. I want Cosima to survive her illness, I want her to find a way to forgive Delphine, to learn to trust her once more, and I want them to resume trying to ensure the survival of the clones. I want all the crazy science.

That said, the blowout in this latest episode was fantastic. Not for their relationship, although it was overdue coming to a head like that, but for the message it sends. I know most people were hoping Delphine would talk some sense into Cosima and all would be well. But this is a trope overused in troubled relationships and frankly, tiring.

Dying is not something the average person has to confront in a real and immediate manner. Dying, for most, comes at the end of a long life. Death is an intangible thing. For most people.

Jennifer was correct in saying that it’s awful when other people discover you’re dying. Not because they fail to show sympathy, but because they are, for a brief moment, confronted with their own mortality. They struggle to articulate their response. It’s uncomfortable and awkward but it’s hardly the worst thing about dying.

The worst is how people then come to treat you. The worst is being stripped down to your illness. Delphine did what she did because she is a woman in love, and the woman she loves is dying in front of her. Because in that situation there is nothing and nobody that is safe from being used, if it means she does not have to let go of Cosima.

But in the process of this, she has completely disregarded Cosima. Cosima, who is very much aware of her position. Who confronts it in a way no one else possibly can. Cosima knows she’s dying. She knows the risks. She knows what it truly is to be dying.

Everything is stripped away. Tomorrow is gone. There are no ‘future plans’. There is nothing anymore, where a whole life used to be. A career, a family, a home. All gone. Just… Gone. You don’t get to grow up. You don’t get to grow old. You don’t get to daydream about anything.

You get to die.

All there is, is the sound of sand in your ears, slowly draining out of a timer at light speed.

So when tomorrow is gone and all you have left is today, you need to keep hold of it. You need to do it your own way. You are nothing but the choices you make in the moment.

What do people then do? They take your choices away from you. Delphine acted out of profound love and desperation but she robbed Cosima of her autonomy. A basic human right. If Cosima can’t make her own choices, then what is she even living for?

Orphan Black is obviously fictional and we are all banking on Cosima surviving, but say she didn’t? What would be the point to her existence if she was not the master of it? The whole series revolves around the idea of the clones being property. They’re fighting tooth and nail against a company that wants to own and control them.

What Delphine did, although for the right reasons perhaps, is exactly the same thing.

Cosima is a very intelligent woman. She knows, better than anyone, the consequences of her actions. She knows she’s going to die without help. She’s seen it. She’s refusing treatment with full knowledge and sound mind. Who is Delphine, who is anyone, to contradict that?

If you’re going to die, you need to make what time you have left honest to yourself. Cosima needs to keep control.

Sometimes it is simply a case of getting to a decision in your own time. It’s not an easy thing, to burden another human being with the weight of your survival. Kira is just a child. She would have to endure a great deal in order to help Cosima. Brave though Kira is, she is just a little girl. One that Cosima cares for, deeply.

In the end I think Cosima reaches the decision to call Sarah not because her own life is going to be forfeit, not solely, but because the disease is not going to stop with her. It could come for all of them. She has to do everything she can to help the others. It was already too late for Jennifer, for Katja too, and possibly her. Yet what she does now, her choices for today, might mean Sarah doesn’t get sick. That Kira does not become an orphan. That Alison gets to grow old. That the countless clones they have not met, can sleep soundly at night.

I understand Delphine’s plight completely but I am so, so proud of Cosima for telling her off. For hammering it home that the decision is hers and hers alone.

Also really proud of the writers for not taking Cosima’s right to choose away from her. For pushing forward with the idea that a woman is an individual in her own right.

Some might say that it’s a selfish way for Cosima to think. To let herself die, to put Delphine through the agony of her death. To me, it would be no less horrific to watch Cosima completely compromise everything she is as a person.

When you’re dying, your choices account for everything you are. They are the legacy you leave behind.

Cosima Anon

Having never been in that situation myself (a fact I am deeply grateful for), I don’t have a whole lot to add here except: I am also really, really proud of Cosima. I also sympathize wildly with Delphine, but I am so proud of any time these women cling to their agency. That is the entire purpose of the show, and I am endlessly pleased when they do not shy away from this fact. Also, last night, Britt and I were discussing Cosima’s reasoning for calling Sarah–and we completely agree that she only really did it because this disease could take (maybe will take) every single one of them in the end. It’s literally a greater good scenario. It’s just ugly, and brutal, and terrifying. Thank you, as always, for sharing your thoughts, friend. They're incredibly well-thought out. 

anonymous asked:

Ok so I got invited to a pool party but I'm really insecure about going because I'm fat. Really fat and I'm not exaggerating about me being fat. I have giantic legs and arms and big gut meanwhile everyone going has a nice flat stomach and what not and of course there are going to be boys and I'm afraid I'm going to get laughed if I go because I'm not skinny like the other girls that are going. This really sucks help what should I do

FUCK
DOT
SHIT
You need to go. Enjoy the summer regardless if you have a super model body or not. Don’t let your insecurities hold you back from enjoying things in life. Go to the pool party, have fun, give a fuck about what the next bitch has to say because if they’re that focused on your appearance rather than having a good time on their own then they’re insecure themselves and just mad that you have the balls to go out freely without giving a fuck.

Headlights ||Nate Maloley||

Headlights.

“It’s not my fault! It makes two to make someone pregnant,asshole!” You could already feelk your neck vain being prominent,but you don’t care anyways,Nate makes your blood boil to the extent that all you want to do is smack him and punch him.

“HEY! It’s not my fault! I never told you to open up your legs to me! You’re the one who said you were ‘ready’ and that you don’t want me to wait anymore! So it’s not my fucking fault!”

The smack that you were planning to do was given right back at you.It hurt what he said,the way you put it,now you can feel yourself heat up because both of you knows that you’re the one who wanted something to happen,for God’s sake,you’re dating for more than a year and you wanted it to be Nate but it turned out to be a bad decision.

You couldn’t answer anymore,out of shame you quickly turned away hoping that he wouldn’t see the tears that started to pour down,you rushed through the door and slammed it behind your back.You don’t want to give Nate the satisfaction of seeing you hurt because he pointed out your mistakes.

You don’t want to be here,where all the good things and the bad things that happened took place,you made your way to the car and headed towards a bar,any bar,that would make you forget all the things that happened,you don’t care anymore about your baby,you don’t want a piece of Nate and you together in one.

The lights turned green and you made your way,but before you get the chance to cross headlights blinded your eyes.

The time is too slow that you get to smile at the irony of the situation,you didn’t make it to the other side because of a blinding light,just like what happened to your life,you were a good girl that went to college to get a degree,but you didn’t get to cross the other side called the adult life,because the blinding light stopped you,just like what Nate did,he entered your life and everything trashed,the efforts,the late night studying,for fuck’s sake,this was your dream uni since 6th grade.

The headlights was all you saw before everything went black permanently,even to your baby.Now Nate doesn’t need to stress about something and own up to responsibilities that he shouldn’t be getting at his age.

_____________________________________________________________

Hey,I wouldn’t be online for the next 2 days because I’m going to the city.The house that I’d be staying at doesn’t have an internet connection so I thought I’d post a ton of things today because I’ll leave tomorrow morning,if you’re ever wondering why I’d go to the city with no internet connection,well I’m going to a one direction concert :3 But Zayn wouldn’t be there which kinda sucks. 

I hope you enjoy this one,it’s just a blurb so yeah.You can request some imagines here.

Here’s my MASTERLIST and my previous one shot [x] 

The Evil Queen and how much it sucks if you love the person you want to kill most of all

Originally posted by alabamacmiles

The Queen’s birthday made me think, think about how Regina’s days had to look like.

How it is to live a life where your only joy is hunting down a girl and burn down everything that comes in your way. Sad isn’t it? But imagine how confusing and painful such a hunt is if deep down you still love that wretched girl with her bright smile and her hopeful eyes. But how your blood starts to boil at the same moment because she stands for everything you used to be…free and full of hope the light still in your dark eyes. But she took it took it when she demanded you to be her mother.

And you want to rip that girl apart you want to choke the life out of her but you can’t. You don’t understand your own feelings she is responsible for Daniel’s death your loss of freedom your loss of hope is her fault. But why can’t you kill her? You tell yourself she got lucky when she escapes again and again you refuse to admit it’s something else. You try everything to get rid of the love you feel , the need to protect her because you know if she is dead you will be happy again. The pain which is suffocating you day after day nightmare after nightmare will end with her death. You are sure of it.

But you still can’t do it. Something is holding you back. Even if you dream about her head on a spike her heart crushed to dust you can’t follow through.

And someday you will realize it wasn’t something that held you back it was someone. Yourself.

Originally posted by mercilessmother

The young woman inside you the one who still loves so deeply who risked her life to save a little girl, the one who believed in true love and happiness…you tried to bury her under all this anger and hatred but she still fights. And one day she will win the fight against the darkness.

And Snow White will be there to say:

Welcome back. I missed you