because dear god that does things to me

taemin in college
  • double major in criminology and japanese, minor in latin 
  • whenever he tells anyone his minor they’ll always ask him to say something and he’s just like spouting random stuff like “water, vengeance, rock duck, veni vedi vici, amen” (”did you just say amen?? was that a prayer??” / taemin: *sweating* “yeah”) 
  • tbh saying amen is just a reflex from when he was an altar boy 
  • rides a longboard around campus
  • occasionally his cap will fly off while he’s cruising and he’ll have to backtrack and awkwardly trudge after it (”omg pls don’t roll away hat i’m coming back for you”) 
  • he spent a really long time practicing ollies in the quad and now he randomly kicks up his board on his way to class like nbd he’s just super cool
  • his backback is HUGE 
  • he just keeps EVERYTHING in there so he’ll never forget anything (jonghyun: omg just get yourself a planner or something and keep notes / taemin: no. never. it’s better this way) 
  • honestly getting things in that bag is like playing tetris and you never know what he’ll pull out of there??? onew’s homework (”omfg i was looking for that everywhere”), a bag of chocolate chips (onew: this is my compensation), multiple chargers, rolls of tape, ah there’s his syllabus, oh his rosary!!! 6v6
  • he’s that kid who ALWAYS loses his student id and people post in his class facebook page like “taemin i found your card again” 
  • works at the bookstore and when he sees minho coming in, immediately turns around and walks in the opposite direction bc he loves him and all but minho buys in like bulk and he does not get paid enough for this no siree 
  • does not own a single uni sweater/shirt himself despite the 15% discount his friends abuse 
  • until jong gave him a giant uni sweatshirt for christmas that he… rang up for him?? but it’s actually pretty comfy and he wears it on exam days bc the long sleeves are comforting and could absorb tears if it comes down to that 
  • whenever key walks into his dorm he’s always watching some anime (it’s usually one punch man lately) and he always insists it’s ~studying~
  • also his room always so messy omg like boy do you unpack by opening your suitcase and just chucking your clothes all around like a tornado??? 
  • hurricane taemin 
  • but seriously there’s no floor showing 
  • minho: where do you study in your room?? / taemin: i just kinda *motions at the mess in a vague manner* / minho: that gives me literally zero answers
  • he studies a lot with key at the cafe jonghyun works at (for the free coffee / jong: literally you guys only come here for my coffee and not for me / taekey: … well yeah / jong: you’re both banned forever bye) bc he likes the buzz of other people talking 
  • can’t really focus when it’s too quiet  
  • does really well in classes despite sometimes missing a few bc he just straight up forgot that it was during a certain timeslot (key: how / taemin: things just happen!!! it’s totally plausible that you’d forget sometime!!! / onew: we have 5 weeks of school left) 
  • people sometimes forget that he’s also a crim major also but he’s genuinely interested in forensic science and piecing together what happened and how 
  • almost always knows the answer when the prof ask a question but doesn’t really participate unless called on and he could talk for a WHILE once he gets past the initial stuttering start 
  • honestly every time he has to present in class considers taking a shot to loosen his nerves because dear god he hATES public speaking 
  • he can’t bc asian glow is so real 6///6
Dear Straight Girls,
Shut. Up.
It’s nothing personal, really, it’s just that us gay girls get fucking tired of your bullshit sometimes. I know that you’re not trying to be rude, really I do, but it’s been a long day, and you jokingly calling me an abomination because “you have gay friends who say it all the time” doesn’t make it any shorter.
Dear Straight Girls,
The last thing I want to hear about is how un-fucking-fortunate it is that you got the straight end of the stick. That you wish more than anything that you could’ve been gay, because god, that would just make your life so much easier.
This may shock you, but moaning about how hard it is to be a heterosexual, does not get you a gold star in my book. It tells me that you only think of being gay as a lifestyle: an edgy, hipster choice that all us cool kids are making that you feel left out of. Well, guess what? If me and my future girlfriend can get kicked out of bakeries, kicked out of our homes, kicked out of our jobs- then you can handle not being part of this.
Dear Straight Girls,
Fuck you. Fuck you for thinking I’m always looking at you, for thinking I always want you. You are not the center of my universe. You are not some irresistible vixen just because my attraction to girls like you exists. You’re a girl. And I like girls. But that doesn’t mean I like you. Get over it.
Dear Straight Girls,
If I have to hear about how amazing your gaydar is one more time, someone’s getting punched in the tit. Don’t look at me, I don’t make the rules. Besides, I already knew they were gay five minutes before you. You’re not special.
Dear Straight Girls,
I know you’re probably pouting at my letters this very moment because I’m just the angry motherfucking queer girl with too much to say, but if you want to be as accepting as you say you are, shut up and let the gays talk every once in awhile. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to have this conversation every other day.
Dear Straight Girls,
Having a gay best friend doesn’t make you a queer activist. It doesn’t give you permission to call people dykes or fags because you are now an “honorary gay.” It makes you a person. With a best friend. Like the rest of us. Who needs. To shut. The fuck. Up.
Dear Straight Girls,
I’m not.
—  Fuck you for thinking otherwise
How do I tell you I love you?

My first h2ovanoss, be gentle with me please!

Relationships: main- h2ovanoss, side- ohmtoonz

Words: 7,220


It’s Luke’s fault, really, it is.

Jon prides himself on being a good friend, the best pal anyone can ask for (although some might argue he’s terrible at listening and his imagination gets people into trouble more times than it should be possible to experience in someone’s lifetime- and that’s only coming from Marcel), but his shoulder is always available for a good cry and he would gladly go pick you up at 4 in the morning if asked to.

So, it’s with a horrible and sickening feeling, truly, it is, to have to say no to Luke when his friend asks him for a really fucking important favor.

Keep reading

LISTEN PEOPLE!!! I SWEAR THAT SOMEONE DID REQUEST THIS, BUT I GUESS SINCE I HAVEN’T POSTED ANY FICS IN A VERY LONG TIME (VIA MY INBOX, WHERE EVERYONE REQUESTS THEIR FICS AND HOW I ALSO POST THEM), A LOT OF REQUESTS THAT WERE IN MY INBOX ARE GONE NOW!! LUCKILY FOR ME THOUGH, I ALWAYS WRITE DOWN THE REQUESTS I GET AND FIC IDEAS THAT I COME UP WITH IN MY HANDY DANDY ( TINY HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL) NOTEBOOK. SO ALL IS GOOD, I JUST HAVE TO POST MOST OF THE FICS THIS WAY NOW. :P

A/N: I felt so weird but also so tingly at the same while writing this. i also really hope that this never actually gets to Roman anytime soon or anytime far, far away cause good god just think of the many reactions that he could have while reading this or just finding out about it. :P  But I do applaud the Anon that requested this dirty thing because I have never had a request like this before and I actually did enjoy writing it. So thank you, Horny/Kinky Anon, I salute you.

Warnings: pegging, dick jokes (that are not meant to offend anyone at all and I am terribly sorry if anyone does get offended by them) and my own little jokes that I just couldn’t help myself with.

Dear Holy Pizza and Roman Reigns, please forgive me for I have written something awkwardly dirty.

Please help me

Roman’s P.O.V.:

______________________________________________________________

I am one kinky fucker.

   I really am, and I’m not afraid to say it. You have no idea what kind of dirty, kinky stuff my baby girl and I have done.

         Spanking. Cuffs. Biting. Light choking. Being tied to the bed. Role play. You name it, we did it. Well, actually, there’s one thing that we haven’t done, and I really want to try it out. So, tonight, I’m gonna talk to my baby girl and see how she reacts.

   When I get home, I go into my bedroom and see my girl laying down on the bed, touching herself. Damn, that’s so hot.

         “Roman, you’re finally home,” she moaned. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

       “I can tell, baby girl,” I replied with a chuckle. “I can see from here that you’re dripping wet. You want me to eat you out?”

       “Oh god, yes!” Y/N started to writhe on the bed just from the question I asked her. “Please use your glorious tongue and lick me dry.”

      I smirked at her. “Baby girl, I will. But, you have to promise me one thing.”

       “Anything, Roman. Anything!”

      My smirk grew and I pulled something out of the bag that I was holding. When Y/N saw what it was, her eyes went wide in surprise. She sat up and looked at me with a serious expression on her face.

     “Babe, is that a strap-on,” she asked. Her eyes never left the toy on my hands.

     “Yes it is, baby girl,” I answered, nodding my head. Then Y/N’s eyes lit up.

         “Mmm, I’ve been wanting to use one of these on you for a very long time.”

    I chuckled. “If I had known that, then I would’ve bought one of these a long time ago. So first, I’ll eat you out and then,” I grinned from ear to ear, “you get to fuck me in the ass.”

       “I can’t wait for either of those.”

      Y/N then lied back down on the bed and opened her legs wide enough for me to put my tongue in her moist opening. I flicked my tongue on her swollen clit and embraced her the slight pain that Y/N gave me when she pulled on my long hair. I grabbed her legs and continued to give her the best pleasure that she could ever ask for while she arched her back, released my hair and grabbed onto her nipples instead.

     I had Y/N moaning my name for twenty minutes when she came with screams and shakes.

      “Oh god, Roman,” she breathed, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand up after all that good lovin’.”

       I laughed at her small whining and I came back at her with my own.

         “Aw, come on, babe. You promised.”

       “But my legs feel like jello!”

       I sighed, but then chuckled. “I’ll make it easier for you then.”

          “How,” Y/N asked, crossing her arms over her breasts.

       It took me a few seconds to come up with an answer. “I’ll get on my hands and knees on the bed, and you can try to stand up as long as you can,” I said as I wiped Y/N’s juices off my nose. She wasn’t giving in at first, so I gave her a pout -which she could never resist- and she finally caved in with a sigh and a ‘fine, I’ll do it’.

     “Awesome,” I childishly cheered as I kicked my jeans off. Y/N was a little shocked to see that I had nothing on underneath, but she was also excited to see my hard cock.

       “Someone’s excited to get fucked.” Y/N smirked before she got on her knees and kissed and licked my dick soft and slowly enough to make me groan in pure pleasure. But she stood back up and put the strap-on around herself with no problem. “We have any lube left, babe,” she asked me.

     “Yeah,” I answered, “there’s a whole bottle in my top drawer.” Y/N got the lube and slowly stuck one of her fingers in -what I like to call- my manhole. “Fuck, babe,” I moaned, “that’s so fuckin’ cold!”

   Y/N chuckled. “That’s what I say every time you use this stuff on me. Now hush so I can concentrate on fingering you.”

      “Can’t you just hurry up and fuck me?!”

     “No, Roman. Ya got me a very big strap-on and your ass just isn’t ready for this rubber cock yet, babe.”

      Y/N went back to lubing me up and when she was finally done, she asked me, in a very sexy whisper, “are you ready for this dick, Roman”. I laughed at the fact that Y/N referred to the strap-on as her fake dick. Which it technically was, but that was still hilarious especially with the way that she said it.

     “I’m ready, Y/N,” I confirmed after I regained my composure. I got down on my hands and knees, but Y/N had a different idea. 

        “How ‘bout instead you bend over my chair, baby? That way it’ll be easier for both of us,” she suggested.

    “Whatever you want, baby girl.” I got in my new position on Y/N’s favorite chair and waited for her to come behind me. I didn’t have to wait long though cause I felt the strap-on moving towards my hole. Y/N was taking her time; I don’t know if she was intentionally doing it to torture me, or if her slow movements were accidental. Either way, it felt so fuckin’ goood.

     “Roman, are you sure you wanna do this,” Y/N asked. Aww, I love it when she’s being caring. But I was horny as fuck and just wanted/needed to be fucked.

    “Fuck yeah I’m sure,” I answered her as I looked back for a second and saw the lust in Y/N’s beautiful eyes. “Now just put your ‘cock’ in me!” Y/N laughed at me as I used her joke on her.

   She finally put the strap-on dildo in me, going slow at first to give me time to adjust to the toy’s size. 

         I guess now I know how she felt when I first stuck my dick in her.

     Y/N gave me more time to adjust when started thrusting her hips, but I told her to go faster and she did and fuck, I was in paradise.

      “Damn, baby girl. Go deeper; I wanna feel all of that dildo pushing in and out of me,” I begged like a needy man-slut. 

      “Mmm, your wish is my command, Roman,” Y/N replied. My lover went deeper in me and I could feel so much pleasure that I never thought that I could feel from a dick -real or fake- being in my ass.

    “Fuck, Y/N, you’re hitting my P-spot!”

     “Your P-spot?”

     “My prostate! Ah fuck! I’m gonna cum and it feels like it’s gonna be a big one!”

     “Do it, baby. Do it,” Y/N cheered on. “I wanna see you cum this way, baby. Jerk yourself off if you need to.”

   “Ah fuuuuuuck,” I growled as I furiously pumped my huge cock.

      A few thrusts from Y/N and her strap-on -and, of course, a few pumps on dick from hand- and my release finally came through. So much of my white, sticky cum went all over Y/N’s chair. She slowly slipped the dildo out of me and took the strap-on off.

     “God that was so fuckin’ hot,” Y/N breathed out.

    “Yeah, I know,” I agreed with a rapid nod of my head. “We really should’ve done that earlier.”

“I think I know what will make this even hotter next time.”

  “Handcuffs, blindfolds and maybe even a gag-ball?”

    Y/N chuckled as she rubbed my smooth ass. “You read my mind, babe.”

2

Dean looked more than sceptical as you entered the little shop at the end of the street, daylight already beginning to fade outside.

“This does look like one of these places where you’d expect a witch which is exactly why there won’t be any here. Real witches don’t use this stuff. I mean…a crystal ball? Really?”

“Oh my god, I think the crystal ball is working! The spirits are telling me you’re a dumbass.” You smirk at Deans pouting, proceeding to look around, “Crowley told us to look here so just…” You flail your hands around in the air, “…do your hunter thing.”

“Because dear Crowley never told a lie in his life.” He replies sarcastically.

“Now, now don’t be grumpy and I promise to leave you two lovebirds alone later.”

You were about to smirk at him but the object flying in your direction, seemingly out of nowhere had you a bit occupied. Obviously, Dean had no sense of humour today.

I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT SO HAVE DANIEL WHO'S SCARED OF FLYING

Everyones got their fears, even a blindly faithful being that everyone wants to.. bang?? I’m kind of confused on that one but how and ever-

-he doesn’t believe in the technology because “if my god wills life to fly it shall, but how the fuck can humanity do what our overlords do jfc >:0”
-daniel says things like “nah im groovy lol lmaoo” when he’s scared
-grabs onto the nearest person and holds on for dear life
-this has gotten him into weird situations
-like he grabbed davids shirt once and just,,,,,,
-ill leave the scene up to ‘yall’ s imaginations
-he despises airplane food
-it does have hella bacteria to be fair

Gryffindor!Mingyu & Slytherin!Minghao

Gryffindor!Mingyu
•has a yearly tradition of buying one of every single snack when the lady with the cart of goodies passes him on the train
•he’s not wizard born, both his parents are muggles, so his first year he was like “weird looking/moving food? Sign me tf up”
•it’s been tradition ever since
•let’s be real it’s the main reason that Soonyoung and DK sit with him on the train rides
•once during the prank war between Gryffindors and Slytherins (see Hufflepuff!Joshua and Slytherin!Jihoon post to understand), Chan slipped him what he thought was a shrinking potion.
•But in actuality it was a growing potion.
•so 6 foot tall Mingyu became 9 foot tall Mingyu
•the effects of the potion latest a week and Mingyu had to be excused from quidditch practice because he couldn’t fit on the broom…
•was peer pressured by Seungcheol to join the quidditch team and is like “mehhh” about it until you get the the quidditch game
•then he’s competitive and determined af
•the reason Seungcheol wanted him on the team is because he saw Mingyu sprint across the castle from the dining hall to divination because he lost track of the time and was gonna be late, and Seungcheol was like “if he can run that fast for that long, how fast do you think he could fly??”
•the answer to that is pretty damn fast as they both found out at tryouts
•he ends up becoming one of the chasers for the Gryffindor team
•the only thing Mingyu had to practice a lot to get good at was catching the freaking quaffle because he’s a clumsy giant and kept dropping it accidentally
•Mingyu: *drops quaffle from 100ft in the air*
•Seungcheol: “gOd dAMn iT, go get it!!”
•is dorm roomies with Seungcheol and vry happy about it
•just came here to have a good time and learn magic n stuff but Seungcheol and Vernon are always dragging him into their messes
•Seungcheol and Vernon are always tryna prank the Slytherins but Mingyu just wants to live in peace and not be targeted for revenge
•it’s hard for him to stay inconspicuous when it comes to pranking because he’s really freaking tall (he literally stands out of a crowd) and has like the worst poker face. Precious tol bean
•Mingyu: *walks into the dining hall with a really awkward/uncomfortable smile*
•Chan: *blows whistle* “TAKE COVER”
•all the Slytherins duck under their tables and then the cakes that were on those tables explode
•Seungcheol and Vernon just look at Mingyu with the most disappointed look
•they learn to stop including Mingyu if they want to be successful
•anyway moving on
•every year, the new first years are kid of wary/cautious around him because he seems like a tall, intimidating guy
•but then he runs into a pillar or almost falls off the moving stairs and they’re like “oh. he’s fine”
•generally a tall innocent meme who just wants to live peacefully but… naw lol his clumsiness and friends liven up things
•he enjoys it and appreciates them but he won’t say it directly
•he’ll bake Seungcheol and Vernon cookies or some shit and they’re just so skeptical about it
•Vernon: “did you poison these? Have we personally wronged you somehow? Idk what it was but I’m sorry please don’t kill me with these”
•Seungcheol: “no no I don’t think that’s it, he would have nowhere to hide our bodies. I think he did something wrong and we’re gonna lose house points or something so he’s trying to get on our good side before it comes to light”
•Mingyu: “wow I literally just made you cookies and I’ve been personally attacked. I’m gonna eat all three dozen of these with the Hufflepuffs, they’re way nicer than you guys”
•Seungcheol: “Mingyu we’re sorry come bACK”
•and Mingyu does come back and the positive vibe is restored via eating cookies and goofing off, what these three do best

Slytherin!Minghao
•was really psyched to go to a wizarding school because he didn’t have any wizard/witch friends growing up
•until he got on the train and saw Vernon try to snort smarties because Soonyoung told him “it’s a thing the muggle kids do”
•Minghao was freaking out on the inside like “dear god… They’re idiots… I thought wizards would be more mindful people like me…”
•so he decided to keep observing the people on the train before actually initiating a conversation with anyone
•he sat down in an empty seat and started ‘reading’, but he was actually listening to everyone interact and figuring out who he might be able to tolerate for the next seven years
•the thing that got him to finally decide someone was okay to talk to was when Seungcheol accidentally elbowed Jun in the face as they were passing each other in the narrow hall of the train, and Jun started swearing in Chinese because ow
•Minghao looked up from his book so fast he got whiplash but was like “HIM. IT HAS TO BE HIM”
•Minghao’s thinking “we can talk shit about people right in front of them and they won’t know what we’re saying” (honestly, friendship goals)
•and he’s also thinking “if I have a friend that speaks my native language, maybe I won’t feel so homesick” but he doesn’t acknowledge that feeling bc he’s tryna be tough
•so Minghao walks over to Jun and is like “you okay?” in Chinese and Jun is just like !!! New Chinese buddy??
•they sit together and by the end of this train ride they’re close friends and have talked a lot of shit. About eVeRyOnE except that one kid Joshua because like they tried to find something bad to say about him and literally couldn’t?? Like why is an angel on this train??
•they gossip lightheartedly, obviously they’re not really hating on everyone
•they’re just being like “how many times do you thing Vernon will silently stare at Seungkwan until he stops talking and pays attention to him”
•casually blunt observers
•turns out Jun and Minghao both planned to try out for the quidditch team even before they got to Hogwarts
•the Slytherins captain at the time was like “listen all you people wanting to try out, it’s not gonna be easy”
•the people who really wanted a position on the team were the ones who stuck through all the tough drills and training
•and the only two left in the end for the two open spots were Jun and Minghao
•Minghao earned the position of beater (not even a little surprised) and Jun was made a Chaser
•the literal definition of resting bitch face. He does not look approachable by any means if he’s by himself
•he also looks really stylish in his robes by adding accessories and doing his make up real nice, etc. But to some people that can be a little off-putting because wow?? This person has their shit together enough to accessorize?? I sure don’t.
•so that adds to the 'unapproachable’ vibe.
•but when Minghao is talking to one of his friends, he has the cutest happy expression on his face
•the kind of loving look that everyone wants someone to look at them like that
•at first everyone thought that Minghao and Jun were dating because they spent so much time together
•when someone nosy *COUGH CouGH s e u n g k w a n* asked them about it, it ended up a lil something like this
•Jun: “you think I’m dating Minghao? I have this thing called standards, don’t kid yourself”
•Minghao: “why would I date the moron who’s probably backhugged every other boy in this school. Do I look like the kind of person to settle for an idiot like that”
•Jun & Minghao: *shrug at each other, fist bump, and walk away together*
•Seungkwan: “????? the fuck”
•so yeah they’re not dating, just besties that enjoy roasting not only other people, but each other
•because let’s be real if you can’t roast your friends, are you really even friends???
•When it comes to the prank war… You do nOT want to go up against Jun and Minghao
•because they only prank together and they have no mercy
•like you thought Monsta X’s No Mercy would make you cry?? Jun and Minghao’s wrath is worse
•y'all thought getting hexed by Jihoon was bad… At least that only lasts like 15 minutes, max. (Except for that one time… rip DK… but that’s a whole other story)
•these assholes will prank you until you break and beg them to stop
•they will not stop until you admit that they win
•if you tell them they’ve won, they’ll never bother you again.
•they don’t do any really harsh pranks, they just keep bothering you incessantly until you give up
•Jun is mainly the execution of these pranks, and Minghao is the brains behind it
•moral of the story, don’t try to fuck with them lmao
•Minghao’s favorite class is Care of Magical creatures and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me
•he tries to be cool, like “hmm I’m a Slytherin, I don’t care too much for this” but homeboy skips his classes sometimes just to go pet and feed Buckbeak (catch me sobbing, what a soft cutie)
•if you ask him nonchalantly a question about a creature he’ll pull up a projector and show you a PowerPoint full of fun facts about whatever creature you asked about, full of adorable pictures of said creature
•even if it’s a visually… challenged… (deadass ugly) creature, Minghao will describe it like it is the most precious thing and will convince you that it is precious. Because no one has the heart to disagree with this boy who’s so excited about these creatures??
•he is accidentally very cute
•just wants to be seen as independent and manly but is a spacey and cute boy

Everyone please consider Dear Evan Hansen and that fact that Connor and Evan could have been the best friend they both desperately needed for each other if Connor hadn’t misunderstood the letter’s purpose and committed suicide and also the fact that Evan was the reason Connor cOMMITTED SUICIDE. LIKE DOES THIS NOT TEAR EVERYONE ELSE APART BECAUSE MY HEART IS IN SHREDS??

LIKE THIS COULD HAVE HAD A HAPPY ENDING IF YOU JUST TALKED TO EACH OTHER!? YOU WERE SOOO CLOSE TO BEING FRIENDS, HE SIGNED YOUR CAST AND EVERYTHING

IT PHYSICALLY HURTS ME TO THINK ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD

phoenix-scorpios  asked:

Welp. No fluff this time. (Ut Sans and Grillby, Uf Skelebros. If it's too much character just take the ones that you feel more inspired for !) For whatever reason, they cheated on their s/o. They still love them. So when their s/o know the truth, s/o just sit on the couch with them and ask : «If you didn't love me anymore, you could have just break with me you know.» (Part 1)

(((CONTINUED PARTS TO ASK)))  They don’t scream, cry, beg them or anything. Their shoulders drooping, their eyes dull and tired to sparkle when they aren’t fine, their lips curled in a sad smile, small but there. Their hands don’t shake and their breath is calm. They are just tired and sad, but hey this is life so whatever happen it has to happen. They love their boyfriend, but if they cheated that means they don’t love them anymore, right ? Maybe they wasn’t supposed to be together in the first place anyway. (Part 2)

Well it’s okay, they think, maybe they’ll be more happy without me. But what they don’t know is that their boyfriend discovered after cheating on them that they are soulmates. Are they going to cry together in despair ? Are they going to argue ? Or is it going to stay calm ? The choice is yours ~ (I love this scenario more than I should. God, that was fun to write :v and super long. Blep)

——————————————————————————————————

I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T GET TO THIS SOONER OH NO ;n;

Thank you so much for being patient with me >~< this ask has always excited me but I wanted to make it detailed and perfectly angsty so I waited until I had a clean mind and a calm day to do it, this is unfortunately the first one I’ve had in a while, but I STILL GOT TO IT… EVENTUALLY. The only character I had trouble with was Grillby because he would NOT cheat because he’s so level headed and calm about things.. so I made his a bit more fluffy. It’s actually pretty cute XD I think his is the stress reliever before Underfell, because UF is a mess, if you think Classic’s is bad, oh no

Also the responses are REALLY long for a regular headcanon but that’s because I love angst and got carried away (cheating is a nightmare though, ugh I hate it so much, it is NOT okay under ANY circumstances).


UNDERTALE

++ Sans ++

Classic doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to cheat on someone, and usually he wouldn’t. He usually likes to stay loyal and work out the issues even if they’re hard, he wants to have your trust and he wants to love you… but this situation was just so different. It was wild. A good childhood friend of yours came into town some days ago and stayed for a night at your place and in a nearby hotel for another 2 nights before you saw him go on his way to wherever the planet took him next. The way you talked about him, the way you treated him, the way you looked at him… everything just drove Classic’s jealousy too far up the tree. He didn’t know why that guy made him so infuriated, but sure enough Classic was angry, and he was a bit angry at you as well. You had introduced Classic as your boyfriend yet you seemed to keep some of the same intimate habits with your friend. His jealousy caused him to be blind toward the difference in the sort of intimacy taking place as best friends or family rather than romantically, so he decided he would just “get you back” rather than taking a step back. His annoyance for your friend and your small whines about not seeing him enough and that you really miss him even right after he leaves… it causes the impossible. Later that night, when he thought you were asleep, he went out and slept with someone else. It was mostly just a sexual thing, not a romantic one, and he didn’t even mean to make it sexual. He just wanted to be with SOMEONE and figured that you weren’t working, his fuzzy mind and strong emotions leading him to someone else. 

As he woke up in someone else’s bed, he felt awful. He couldn’t really remember the night before and his head hurt a LOT, meaning he most definitely got drunk. Despite the massive headache and other aching bones in his body, looking up at a different ceiling set off many red flags in his head, and he knew that he messed up. He knew he did something wrong, he knew he never should have left in the middle of the night, he knew that he just cheated on you and he had to tell you. His soul aches for your affection and now he’s afraid he lost it completely. It’s late in the morning, so you’re already awake, and he knows you’re going to be able to tell he’s hungover. You’ll know, you just will. When he gets home, his soul already pounding behind the left side of his sternum, you look at him as he shuffles across the house yet stops at your gaze as he’s passing. Your eyes are a bit red and the skin underneath is still a bit puffy. You look exhausted and defeated, drinking a cup of coffee, you’ve obviously been crying somewhat recently, but your face and expression are otherwise clean. You’re so unbelievably calm that it could practically kill someone, and it sent Classic’s anxiety on the rapid rise. You set your mug down and, with a very soft and sad smile, you gently moved the chair next to you, motioning for him to sit down. Tearing up a little, Classic does so. He can barely look at you as you tell him that your cousin saw him enter a place seemingly lewd for his standards, and that she never saw him leave (she works across the street or something). Classic covers his face in his hands as you gently mention that can only mean one thing, and your next sentence breaks him. “I’m not mad at you, Sans… but I trusted you, and I wish you had trusted me the same way.”

This causes Classic to have a couple tears roll down his cheekbones because he can’t hold it in, and he starts apologizing over and over. He didn’t mean it, he loves you, he does, please dear god just believe him! But you gently shake your head and think to yourself that he’s probably just saying that, if he really loved you he wouldn’t have cheated on you. Souls tend to show their rawest form when very strong emotions come into play, so as Classic glances at you, he starts to notice that you have the same sort of patterns in your raw soul that he has… that being said, it clicks in his head that he probably just lost his soulmate if he can’t make it up to you. He stops crying, he toughens up, and he looks you dead in the eyes, refusing to look away. You begin to fidget underneath his gaze and he tells you in a serious tone that he wants another chance. He wants to make it up to you. Even if you don’t trust him anymore, even if you love him less because of what he did, even if you’ll be different towards him for a while, he WANTS to prove it to you that he cares about you. Classic had cheated on you, but you can’t help but still love him, and seeing such determination in his expression… it gives you a bit of hope. You let him make it up to you, and it’s not until things get back to the way they were when he finally tells you that he thinks you guys are soulmates. Classic is still regretful and every now and then you have to remind him that it’s in the past and all that matters is that you guys got over the situation and that it won’t happen again. It’ll never happen again.

++ Grillby ++

Grillbs is very composed and, frankly, nothing would really cause him to cheat on you. He’s good at unwinding situations and his general calmness and coolness makes it all even easier. Even if he was pushed over some limits, he still wouldn’t actually cheat on you because he’s a man of his word and he knows that he should stay loyal. He can control his anger enough to the point where even if he was FUMING, he wouldn’t harm you and wouldn’t leave you for anyone else. Grillbs already knows you guys are soulmates and sometimes things will go awry. But when he saw you choose Papyrus’ food over his!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!

Honestly, he didn’t care in the slightest. Grillbs makes fast food, yes, but for home he’s actually a VERY good cook, and he knows you love his meals. He just found it silly how you said you weren’t hungry and now you’re eating spaghetti, but he isn’t angry that you told him you weren’t hungry, he figured you were just anxious. His meals can be a bit much sometimes because they’re usually SO good that sometimes you just need something simple or a little junkier every once in a while to clean your pallet. So, the next day, Grillbs comes home and smells you cooking something, but he stands in the kitchen with a serious (and slightly blank) expression and stares at you. You glance at him and welcome him home, but his expression sets you a bit off. You ask him what’s wrong and he tells you in a level voice, “I cheated on you.” Your eyes widen and you have NO clue what to say, you can feel your eyes beginning to sting and your voice getting caught in your throat with your stomach turning… but then he mentions, “and myself..” and he holds up one of Muffet’s pastry bags. You take a VERY heavy breath and can’t help but start chuckling as you fall to your knees with your hands on your chest, saying you were SO scared and nervous at first. Why would he say it like that?! C’mon, Grillby!! He sets the bag down on the table and kneels in front of you, his hands on your arms. Grillbs tells you that you don’t have to lie and say you aren’t hungry if you don’t want to eat what he makes, just tell him that you don’t want it and you guys can go for something else! Before you can say anything he makes a slight pouty face and crosses his arms, looking away in a fake-sad way, “And you cheated on my food with Papyrus’.” A small smile comes to his face as you start laughing a little and you apologize, you were just nervous to say anything, and he understands and he kisses the top of your head. He apologizes for giving you the shortest anxiety attack of all time and you decide to finish making tonight’s dinner tomorrow. You guys will settle for something sweet, like the donuts he brought home. Don’t forget to pick some of the spiders off. 


UNDERFELL

++ Sans ++

Red gets self conscious easily, and you know that. He needs to be reassured more often than not that you love him and ONLY him no matter who else comes in your life, and you have to remind him that even if he thinks you don’t, you really do. Well, one night, it seemed as if you were becoming intimate with his brother - it SEEMED like it. You and Papyrus actually get along quite well, and even though it’s a good thing, Red is still a bit alarmed and upset that you guys get along that easily. Papyrus has very high standards, and the fact you fulfill his standards so quickly yet you’re dating Red… it makes Red confused, which makes him angry because he doesn’t like being confused. You’re glad you have a good relationship with both of the skelebros, and that night you were beginning to open up to Papyrus a little bit. You guys had been bonding pretty well and Pap is starting to feel like family to you, so you were able to bring out a side in him that not many people see… his sweet side. Usually only an S/O can drag it out of him at some point, but the way that you had acted and the way you were able to neutralize situations without getting worked up.. it impressed him. Pap respects that you can get along with Red just as much as him, and that you can easily accept criticism and handle tough opinions, and how you can stay calm even in some stressful times. He became more attentive and more supportive toward you and actually started to make some physical gestures with you, like high fives, hugs, and even little things like putting a hand on your shoulder or teasing you by resting his arm on your shoulder since you’re most likely shorter than him, even if it’s just by a little bit, but then you’re pretty damn tall if it’s only a little. Since Red has always known his older brother to be better than him, he figured you were cheating on him with Papyrus because of your guys’ new intimacy, which is really just in a friendly/family sense. With that in mind, his self consciousness and low self esteem led him to thinking it’s a good idea to cheat on you too. He left the house a little before you guys were going to bed and ignored all of your calls and texts, and he got drunk. He got into a sexual relationship with someone else. 

The next morning, he came home and apologized for leaving like that. He was just stressed out and needed a breather, and mentioned it was because of a co worker and he didn’t want to accidentally yell at you. At this point, you still don’t know he’s seeing someone else, and Red just tells you that work is getting kinda crazy so his hours are going to be a bit wild for a while. You shrug and tell him it’s okay, it’s not like you can yell at him for having some tough working hours. Right now, Red almost feels proud of himself for being able to keep a second relationship a secret, at least while he’s still thinking that you and Pap are in a relationship. For the next few days, he’s away more than he is home, and he always seems grumpier when he first comes home rather than when he’s leaving. This confuses you, and you actually begin to worry you’re the one doing something wrong. Since you know that you and Pap are close now, and since Pap is the one who would know Red the most besides you, you go to him for help when Red is gone. You know he won’t be home for some good hours, so you take the opportunity to leave the house without Red knowing so you can talk to Papyrus about it. You actually get a bit shaky and you tear up explaining to Papyrus that you don’t know what’s going on and that you love him and you want things to be okay between the two of you, and he comforts you. He pulls you into a hug to get you to calm down and he promises you that he’ll help you out. He loves you and, even if he won’t always show or admit it, Papyrus loves his brother in a certain way, and he actually wants the two of you to work out as well. Because of your strong emotions he can see your soul pattern, and he actually does mention that he thinks you and Red are soulmates since his patterns are pretty similar too. This fills you with hope that things will work out. 

Well, Papyrus finds out that Red is cheating on you. And he does NOT hesitate to tell you. 

As Red comes home from one of his now regular long days, he’s met with you and Papyrus standing near the front door to greet him. Pap look furious with his arms crossed offensively, and you look worn down, your arms crossed defensively. Red squints a little and asks what’s going on, and in a sad tone, your voice cracking at the end, you tell him that you know he’s cheating on you. Red’s expression goes blank as Papyrus starts going off on him with no mercy, shouting that Red’s a fucking idiot. He cheated on YOU, THE MOST LOYAL PERSON HE KNOWS, and Red lied to you! Pap shouts at him that he doesn’t deserve someone like you, you went to him for help and you started crying and breaking down because of how upset he was making you! He even mentions the word ‘soulmates’ and when you notice Red slightly cowering against the door, you put a hand on Papyrus’ arm, telling him to stop in a gentle, broken voice. Pap finishes his ugly thoughts and he looks at you sympathetically, telling you to call him or even go visit him if things get bad or if you need somewhere to go, and he roughly moves Red out of the way so he can leave, glaring at his older brother while exiting. When he leaves, you sigh and look at Red again, clearly upset, but still calm. The expression on your face breaks him the most, the tiredness and the dullness in your eyes. You sadly smile and tell Red that if he isn’t happy with you that he doesn’t have to be with you, and that if he’d really rather be with someone else so badly to the point where he can lie about work just to see them more than you, then he should leave you and go to date them. Red stutters to try and say something, his thoughts flying everywhere, but you interrupt him and tell him you love him. You love him even though he hurt you and betrayed you, you just can’t seem to find anger in yourself towards him. You tell him that if this is what life decided should happen then there’s obviously a reason for it. Speechless, Red stares at you with tears in his sockets as you say you think things should break off for a while. You talked about it with Papyrus and you both decided that you could move in with him for a little while until you find the money to buy a new place or until things work out between the two of you. The whole time that you gather a few more of your things, since you were prepared for this and most of your stuff was already packed, Red pleads for you to stay. He tries to tell you that he loves you and he didn’t mean to cheat on you, but standing in the doorway with all of your things, you turn to look at him with an exhausted tone in your voice as you speak, “Of course you meant to. Of course you did, Sans. If you didn’t mean to, you wouldn’t have done it, or it would have been one night and then you would have told me afterwards. But you liked keeping it a secret from me, you wanted to keep it a secret and you wanted to be with someone else because it trailed on longer than a single night, it trailed on and on and you continuously lied to me every time you went to go see whoever you’ve been seeing. That’s what a form of dedication is, Sans, and it’s clearly something you don’t have for me. Maybe we’ll find our way back - we very well could be soulmates, according to your brother, but I can’t… I can’t feel loved around you right now. I love you, but I can’t look at you. I can’t feel around you. We’ll keep in touch or something..” and you left with that. 

If you can find it in yourself to forgive Red and give him another chance, the two of you start dating again. It’s awkward, but it works out and he doesn’t cheat on you anymore. If you can’t seem to trust him the same or feel the same around him anymore, then you guys either get together but break up again or you don’t get together at all, and it stays that way.

++ Papyrus ++

Fell would only cheat on you because you aren’t satisfying him. That sounds a lot more analytical than it should, but it’s actually very emotional for him. Maybe it’s just one little thing, a single trait that he needs in someone, and you don’t have it. Maybe it’s something he’s still trying to get used to but doesn’t think he’s strong enough to deal with it, and it’s not like he would full out cheat on you unless he truly thought you were a horrible person and that you deserved the pain. But this? This is something simple for him. He just doesn’t have the strength. It’s not like Fell goes out and has sex or starts a new intimate relationship with anyone, but he goes around and flirts with others a little to see if he can find that trait in someone else, and if he finds a person or even multiple people, he’d get their number and leave it at that until things got awful. 

Nevertheless, no matter how small or simple it is, cheating is cheating, and you know for a fact that it is NEVER okay no matter what caused or what comes from it. You found some phone numbers scrabbled on a couple pieces of paper laying in the top of a bottom drawer in the desk while you were trying to search for some old folder that had whatever you needed to find in it. You clearly recognized Fell’s hand writing and you know that these hadn’t been there the last time you’ve looked in here, so you assumed they were new. You texted one of the numbers and you were greeted with a, “heeyy is this Pappyy? ab time you texted me hun.” This really set you off and made you uneasy, and honestly, it made you angry, and you have a right to be angry. You approached Fell who was sitting at the table reading up on something and you put the numbers in front of him, asking him what they were and why you got this response when you texted one of them, showing him your phone. This made HIM angry and he stood up, giving him a height advantage, taking off his reading glasses and asking you why you were going through those things. Those are his personal things. You squint a little, finding it sarcastically hilarious that HE would be mad at you for going though something ‘personal’ when the two of you share everything with each other to begin with, yet THIS was a secret? Fell feels a tinge of anxiety as he takes a breath and starts trying to tiptoe around what happened, but this makes you even angrier as you catch on what he’s trying to explain. “You cheated on me!!” You exclaim, “How could you?!” You’d usually be calm, but Fell’s initial response really put you across the edge.

Fell already had a feeling that you two were soulmates, but seeing those raw patterns sprawled across your soul… it proves him right. Knowing he’s right gives him a small ego boost and he tells you that you’ll work it out, you’re soulmates, things happen and it’ll blow past. This REALLY frustrates you because you think he isn’t taking it seriously, and you tell him that he can do what he wants because you’re leaving. Hearing that, Fell starts to lose his composure and starts asking you what’s truly wrong, hey hey it’ll be okay just let him explain, but you yell at him and say he already tried to explain and you already understand what the hell happened, and that he has the NERVE to say those things to you in response! The two of you break out into a big argument and you leave the house feeling awful with tears rolling down your cheeks as you go to your friend’s house, who you’ve already texted that you need to go over as you’re already on your way. Fell doesn’t break down until AFTER you leave, since he doesn’t want to break up with you. He really does love you, he loves you for you, and he thought he wasn’t strong enough to be without what he REALLY likes in people… but he’s realizing that you don’t have to be that way. You have different, unique, interesting traits that no one else he knows has, and that makes you so special and so much better than anyone else. He blocks all the numbers ahead of time and burns the pieces of paper, and he sort of just mopes around until you finally text him. His soul races as you say you’re coming over for “round two,” you worded it, as in, you want to try and talk it out civilly but you will not be afraid of standing up for yourself and arguing if that’s what it comes to again. He cleans himself up a little and you show up and you let yourself in, it technically is your own house, and you guys actually do manage to have a civil discussion. Now is when you’re just tired, your eyes are dull and your soft smile is sad. Fell is relieved to listen to you say that you still love him, but deeply saddened to hear that you don’t know how to trust him, and that you feel almost as if you’re never enough for him. He explains that he loves you too and he admits that what he did was terrible and that you ARE enough for him, but he failed to realize it sooner than later. He explains everything he loves about you and he explains why he did what he did and that he truly doesn’t deserve you, and it upsets you but fills you with a bit of happiness at the same time. You can’t help but cling to whatever might be left for the two of you and you tell Fell that even if you’re still a bit doubtful and that you’ll need to rebuild what you had, you really do want to try it again, and he’s definitely with you. This time around, you make it very clear about what you won’t tolerate from him, and he respects your desires. Your relationship works out and if Fell were to ever wrong you, this time, you would know exactly how to take the wheel and spin it, and you will not let yourself fall apart again.

anonymous asked:

Dear god you're not fat. I understand what it's like to have family comment on your weight. Mine does the same thing. I got so fed up one day that I told them firmly to stop and they haven't since.

i don’t really think i’m physically fat either. I just use the term fat to describe all my negative emotions. people who don’t have ED don’t get this because they don’t know the complexity of the disease. to me fat is like…..everything i’ve ever went through and all my insecurities and all of that into one word. It’s a feeling of being too much, taking up too much space, fear of adulthood, having a womanly body/womanly curves etc etc. it’s so much. it’s not just about weight. it’s hard to explain to those who don’t get it, and those who don’t get it will probably not understand at all anyway. 

3

12x07 | Rock Never Dies | Lucifer

“Dear old dad, he finally apologized for abandoning me. And what’s the very next thing he does?”

-

Just wanted to point out at these words in particular. Even when what Lucifer says could also mean that God ditched Sam and Dean too, I think Lucifer was referring to the boys ditching him as well. Lucifer first says that he isn’t interested in God’s opinion because he has left him behind (again), and then points at Sam and Dean and accuses them of the exact same thing. They were a ’team’ at the end of s11 after all. Lucifer sums everything up basically by saying he can’t care less for the opinions from the ones who have abandonned him.

Dragon and protecting/hurting

I have been thinking about the future of :re now that dragon has finally emerged and is going berserk. I thought of a pretty likely scenario of what could happen with Kaneki and Touka.

Okay so we know right now Kaneki’s main driving force is Touka and the child, so wouldn’t it be a tragedy if while trying to save her he is the one who ends up hurting them or maybe even killing her. Don’t tell me that’s something Ishida wouldn’t do because irony and tragedy are things he adores.

Imagine being the cause of demise of the person you were trying to protect and save, the person you love the most. Yep, I think it’s a possibility and dear god if Ishida actually does something like this I mean it’d be tragic for Kaneki and it would justify a reason as to why the ghouls may turn their backs on their king and join forces with the ccg in order to defeat this monster, just like what Futura said.

He enjoys fucking Kaneki up so this would just be another way he could make him even more miserable than now.

anonymous asked:

serious question: does God still love me even if im gay? it's kind of really important to me and the thought of Him hating me because i am makes me really bummed :(

Ah, dear anon, I’ve been there.
God does love you. The first thing I learned about God was that He loves all of His children, and I stand strongly behind that belief.
There is one verse in the Bible that says “man shall not lie with man”, but it’s in a section of the Bible with other statements such as ones that say you cannot eat shrimp, you cannot wear clothes of mixed fabric, etc., so if you’re gonna tell me that being gay is a sin, I better not see you eating some shrimp in a 50% polyester and 50% cotton shirt. Plus, some translations have interpreted this verse to be speaking against pedophilia, not homosexuality. As well as this other wonderful interpretation: http://hoperemains.m.webs.com/site/mobile?dm_path=%2F&fw_sig_is_admin=0&fw_sig_partner=webs&fw_sig_social=0&fw_sig_potential_abuse=1&fw_sig_session_key=80f1639d0c92cfae77cf2206c1df681775b5d24a9c125471b0cb27a218632e4a-40298085&fw_sig_permissions=none&fw_sig_url=http://hoperemains.webs.com/&fw_sig_locale=en-US&fw_sig_site=40298085&fw_sig_tier=1&fw_sig_time=1479614718119&fw_sig_permission_level=0&fw_sig_access_token=cf5f78059085b55dcb55b7c0971433ccc3f11054&fw_sig_premium=1&fw_sig_api_key=522b0eedffc137c934fc7268582d53a1&fw_sig=49b2620380bb0908eb76144089afd677&fb_sig_network=fw#1033
In summary, when a book written thousands if years ago in Hebrew is translated to English, things easily get lost in translation.
It’s one verse in a Bible filled with other verses such as:
“Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is fulfillment of the law.” [Romans 13:10]
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” [1 John 4:7]
“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” [Proverbs 10:12]
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” [Colossians 3:14]
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” [1 Peter 4:8]
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” [1 John 4:12]
I could add so many more verses that stress the importance that you must love, truly and deeply.
God made you gay. He put every bit of you together, and He made someone beautiful.
There are going to people who will tell you you’re wrong, I’m not gonna lie. There are plenty of people who will tell you that being LGBT+ is a sin, but, as hard as it is, you must learn to tune them out. They’re not preaching God’s word by spreading hate. You are just loving, and that is not wrong.
Feel free to message me again if you ever need to talk about this. Sending love! God bless!

Oof, pretty sure I’m about to get written up at work. I had a performance review two weeks ago where my boss explicitly laid out my job duties (YAY FINALLY ONLY TWO MONTHS AFTER DROPPING DOWN TO HALF TIME AND DROWNINGGG) except I’m still drowning, and now I’m having to train ppl on the things I’m no longer doing (and am no longer allowed to just fucking do). Today, Boss informed me that ppl above him are screaming for financial data I haven’t had time to collect because I was told it wasn’t my first priority except now it is? and everything is a first priority? and I still have five days of stuff to do in two and a half and dear god, I sort of regret reducing my schedule. I’ve been trying so hard to eat food at work, but stress+workload, and jfc at what point does “shit, relapse” become “nope, complete backslide”. 

Stepping up on my meds tonight. Still feeling completely overwhelmed with the stupid snarled mess I’ve made of my life, but I got myself into this, I’m gonna clean it up.

On top of everything, all the pictures husbandthing took at Wasteland are in some weird new ios format that isn’t compatible with anything, so now I have 500mb of amazing shots that cannot go anywhere, because no one has invented a conversion yet. 

fuck u, apple. 

Silver lining: I’m getting new algae eaters tomorrow who will hopefully feast mightily on the stringy green hell that is the Fish Palace. Nom nom. 

This is a reminder to release the burdens on your heart to God. You don’t have to handle these burdens on your own. You don’t have to handle them at all! God wants to help you. Let Him takeover in your life.

Placing our burdens into the hands of people, including ourselves, is risky because things can get crazy and not go well, but placing our burdens into the hands of God is one of the best things we can do because God will give us peace when we do that and we can rest assured knowing that things will be great when we let go and trust God. God doesn’t want us to handle our own burdens because He knows how hard it is for us to do so!

Again, please let God takeover in your life! Stop holding on to everything and trying to do things on your own. We have a Mighty God who is willing to take everything that hurts us and handle it all for us. Let God take over dear friend, let the pain go and let all your burdens go and place things into the hands of God!

Please remember what Matthew 11:28 (NIV) says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I love yall so much because Jesus does! I hope this uplifts someone today!! Much love and God Bless yall!

imagine joanna mccoy comming her dad one night and carol answers it because bones is working a late shift, and when she awkwardly introduces herself as his girlfriend jo is immediately on the defensive and prickly because her dad hasn’t really done actual romantic relationships since the divorce so this is the first time she’s having to deal with it

but carol went through literally the exact same thing - parents divorcing at a young age, living with her mum and barely seeing her dad because of his work - so she knows just what jo needs to hear and is generally just her charming lovely self to the point where when bones does return and tries to jump into the conversation jo is like “wait a sec daddy carol is telling me about torpedoes can you come back in like five minutes" 

bones stands there in silence for a few seconds like dear god I have been usurped 

My dear Christians and Muslims, I love you, but let’s get one thing straight, just because I understand, respect, and appreciate your religious beliefs it does not mean I need to believe in them. Please stop asking me to look into “this” or “that”. I get it, I respect it and even appreciate it, I just don’t believe it, and life is incredibly wonderful for me this way.

How Vikings Wore Their Hair

Thrall men, of course, kept their hair cropped short, the length never passing the ears. Think awkward bowl cut above the top of the ear. Like that.

Free men may have worn their hair longer. Usually just past the tops of the ears, sometimes down to the shoulders, rarely past the shoulder blades (because of practicality). They let their hair grow as long as they wanted it to be or as long as it was safe to be (long hair is actually sort of annoying in a Viking fight.  You opponent can grab it and use it against you). If a man wanted to shave part of his head to help prevent lice, he shaved part of his head. If a man wanted to wear a braid, he wore a braid. If he wanted a beard, he grew a beard. If he didn’t want a beard, he shaved it off. If he wanted to braid said beard, he did (A long enough beard to do so was actually not common.  The long hair argument in battle applies to beards as well).  There is no functional or structural purpose for hairstyles beyond vanity. With the exception of the distinctive Thrall cuts, there is absolutely no evidence of hairstyle being linked to status.

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anonymous asked:

Hiya!! I love your headcanons for the riarkle kids (I love all your headcanons lbr here) and as a fellow theatre geek, wondered which kid is the most theatre geek-y? I know you said that they're all pretty involved, but there's a chill drama kid and then there's a Minkus-Matthews kid 😂 xxx

WHY WITH THE OC’S omfg okay

  • Penny cannot fucking sing
  • No one has the heart to tell her
  • Basically every year she goes out for shows and has an experience close to Farkle’s at the end of GM Truth
  • They do not tell her the truth lmao they just all let her believe that for some reason the drama teacher has already picked favorites and she’s just not one of them
  • She eventually just quits altogether like junior year because at this point it’s ‘disrespectful’ lmao but she still listens to/sees shows whenever she can.
  • Everyone keeps trying to get Cassie into theater professionally bc she’s A+ at dancing/singing/acting but the fact alone that everyone wants her to do it stops her from doing it lol
  • But she still really likes them
  • But to anyone outside her family, theater is like…a closeted passion lmao
  • Her daughter Tabitha gets super involved with it at school too
  • And then when they move to New York, they move in with Auggie and Ava and Ava’s a fucking Broadway actress so obviously the four of them geek out all the time
  • BUT SHE NEVER TOLD HER GIRLFRIEND KATIE ABOUT THE CLOSETED PASSION
  • And one day Katie tries to sneak into the apartment when she thinks everyone’s out to set up for a surprise romantic dinner
  • BUT THEY ARENT OUT
  • CASSIE, TABBY, AUGGIE AND AVA ARE HAVING A SHOWTUNES SING OFF
  • She enters as Cassie is doing Mein Herr from Cabaret
  • And when Cassie finally notices she’s there she’s FREAKING OUT because she’s been exposed but Katie is about to achieve an Anime-Nosebleed over this omfg
  • Needless to say she starts looking into musicals more and they just become trash together it’s v cute
  • Cleo does not fucking care
  • At all
  • You all need to stop singing
  • She just wants to play lacrosse STOP TAP DANCING DAD
  • SINGING RANDOMLY DOES NOT MAKE S E N S E
  • WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS
  • UGH
  • One day she caught her son Riley on Broadway.com and acted as though she had walked in on him watching porn omfg
  • She just. Needs everyone to stop with the theater thank you and goodnight lol
  • Tessa only admits to liking the ‘darker’ shows because she’s 9Edgy5You
  • You know like Sweeny Todd, American Psycho, Heathers, Jekyll and Hide, shows like that
  • Get this Mama Mia shit away from her, she yells, as Riley feels her heart collapse
  • Although Tessa will never admit it for obvious reasons, but she REALLY fucking loves Legally Blonde the musical omfg
  • The only time she ever did a show was her senior year when the school did Jekyll and Hide and she got the role of Lucy and she RUINED EVERYONE’S LIVES WHAT THE FUCK TESSA WHERE DID THESE EMOTIONS COME FROM
  • Also she literally didn’t mention to anyone she was in the show, Nova and Leo brought it up bc they were in it too lol
  • NOVA
  • TAKES MUSICALS
  • THE WAY SHE TAKES EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE
  • V E R Y  S E R I O U S L Y
  • Life is a competition and there is literally nothing more competitive than auditions holy shit
  • She signed herself up for voice lessons when she was five
  • Like Riley and Farkle had no idea until they were billed for like 3 months of her lessons at a theater school and they were like WTF
  • THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS AT THE CHURCH DOWN THE STREET AT A YOUTH GROUP
  • Okay and Nova is also 900% the kind that when her best friend doesn’t get the role she wants, she’s just like “Don’t worry I can get you rat poison!!!”
  • She’s like Sharpay but nicer, do you feel me
  • If Sharpay and Gabriella had a love child, it’d be this girl
  • She’s that bitch at dance rehearsal that is like “Ugh warm up stretches are the worst!!!!” and then very easily just pulls her leg over her fucking head as you struggle to breathe without falling over and pulling something
  • She can rap Guns and Ships perfectly it’s the funniest fucking thing
  • Always running for drama club president and stuff
  • Ends up marrying a Broadway actor that she toootally hadn’t been fangirling over for years lol
  • L e o
  • Is such a mess of a human being
  • Because he really doesn’t actually care at all about theater but he feels like he needs to bc his family is so crazy about it
  • And it’s so funny like he’s sleep through shows and movies and miss important plot details and have to bullshit scenes that he liked most when his fam asks lol
  • And he SHOULD NOT DANCE
  • HE IS FAR TOO KLUTZY
  • He’ll be in his usual attire of backwards baseball cap, vintage welding googles or some shit, and he’ll be carrying like a three books and a fucking knife collection
  • And someone will be like “LEO I BET YOU CANT DO A BACK FLIP INTO A PIROUETTE” and he’s immediately like “YOU WANNA FUCKIN BET” and tries to do it without dropping anything so Farkle’s in the back yelling “sON NO” and it never ends well okay
  • Anyway so his freshman year of high school, Nova, Tessa, and his best friend/girlfriend Skyler literally fucking bully him into joining the drama club
  • Because 1) It’s always funny seeing him trying to dance but also 2) SHIT he’s actually a great singer and actor what the fuck they NEED you LEo
  • But like. They literally bully him into this omfg
  • Tessa’s decided since she’s a junior she’s allowed to make her freshman sibling’s life hell lol but she doesn’t actually do anything that will actually hurt him or upset him you know what I mean
  • But like he’ll be minding his own business and then Tessa is jokingly slamming him into a locker telling him that he’ll never stop being a dork unless he does theater
  • Or she’ll be like ‘You have to listen to me you’re freshman scum and I am the Upperclass Overlord JOIN THE DAMN DRAMA CLUB”
  • Nova will fill his locker with passive aggressive notes insulting/challenging him like ‘you must be a wuss’ or ‘I bet you won’t try out because you have no talent’ and stuff like that
  • And he mentioned them to her and she’s like ‘Oh my God who would ever say such horrible things to my dear, precious brother’ and he’s just like ‘NOVA I CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR HAND WRITING CUT IT OUT” lmao
  • “Skyler please listen to me I really don’t want to try out for the drama club!”
  • “Well Leo I really don’t want to make out with you right now! Should I take one for the team or go home?”
  • “WhAT thE FuCK”
  • So eventually after like 2 months of this he gives up and decides to audition
  • And he’s like “Maybe…I’ll just sabotage my own audition so they don’t cast me as anything”
  • And he got really excited about that plan
  • But then
  • Since he is his father’s son
  • None of his plans can ever work out for him
  • So everything he did to sabotage himself, something else happened that prevented him from looking bad
  • It was so fucking funny to the girls bc they knew he was trying so hard to suck and it just wasn’t working lmao
  • They cast him as Moritz in Spring Awakening lmao
  • And after that, everyone in school wouldn’t stop talking about how great a performer he was, so he was like…fuck I’m stuck with this until I graduate aren’t I
  • He was
  • On his last day of high school, Riley and Farkle go into his room to have an emotional ‘Oh my God our baby’s graduating” talk after they had one with Nova
  • But they open the door and
  • Leo’s got a fucking sacrificial alter or some shit set up, and a metal trashcan with a fire blazing in it right in front of it
  • And he’s throwing into it all his scripts, costume pieces, makeup and tap shoes he’s gathered up over the years, laughing manically
  • When he notices his parents he freezes and they just stare at each other for like five whole minutes
  • But that took his concentration away from the fire, which then got too big and catches his fucking sleeve on fire
  • So he’s now jumping around trying to put it out and that causes him to bang into the fucking alter, knocking it down and putting a fucking hole in his floor.
  • Riley’s just like “why couldn’t we have just walked in on you watching porn” at the same time Farkle  goes “why are you like this” lmao
  • They never speak of that again
  • He still gets dragged along on family musical trips tho lmao
  • riarkle kids why are you doing this to me