For the prompt thing, "if we're about to die right now I want you to know..." or "there's a perfectly good reason for all of these kittens" :)
I went with the first one since I already did the kitten one :)
The Avengers had all been captured and were tied up hanging above multiple large vats of some kind of steaming, bubbling chemical. Every few minutes the chains holding them would drop a couple of inches. They had woken up like that after being taken down during a fight with Hydra, leaving them no choice but to wait and hope Coulson and SHIELD found them in time.
“If we’re about to die right now, I want you to know…”
“…Dum-E didn’t rip your favorite AC/DC shirt. I did.”
Tony jerked in his confines, turning to look at Steve with wounded eyes and a shocked face.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said, looking at Tony with pleading eyes, “I spilt paint on my shirt while I was working on that painting for the charity auction so I figured I’d put it on until I could go upstairs and get one of my own shirts and I guess it was too small or something because when I stood up to stretch it ripped in the chest-“
“His pecks are so big they ripped open a shirt,” Clint’s wonder-filled voice said from where he hung behind them.
“I put Dum-E in timeout for two weeks for that!”
”I know, I feel awful!”
“He didn’t talk to me or do his chores that whole month!”
“I know, I’m so sorry-“
“I can’t believe this,” Tony grumbled, his face full of disbelief as he looked at his boyfriend with hurt in his eyes. “Why did you just tell me!?”
“Hey, Natasha knew too and she didn’t say anything!” Steve defended himself.
“Dude, what the fuck!” Natasha’s voice rang out from where she was tied up with Sam across the room.
They all let out a little yell as the chains dropped a little bit more, bringing them closer to the mysterious chemical.
“You know what, it doesn’t matter if we get out of here alive or not because you are all dead to me,” Tony said, turning his head so he couldn’t look at Steve.
“Tony… Tony, come on, that’s a bit dramatic…”
Tony didn’t say anything after that and not long after, Coulson and his team showed up to get them out.
Tony didn’t speak to Steve for a week after that. He spent the whole week in his workshop playing fetch with Dum-E.