because dead or alive

anonymous asked:

For the prompt thing, "if we're about to die right now I want you to know..." or "there's a perfectly good reason for all of these kittens" :)

I went with the first one since I already did the kitten one :)

“Hey, Tony?”

The Avengers had all been captured and were tied up hanging above multiple large vats of some kind of steaming, bubbling chemical. Every few minutes the chains holding them would drop a couple of inches. They had woken up like that after being taken down during a fight with Hydra, leaving them no choice but to wait and hope Coulson and SHIELD found them in time.

“Yeah?”

“If we’re about to die right now, I want you to know…”

“…yes?”

“…Dum-E didn’t rip your favorite AC/DC shirt. I did.”

Tony jerked in his confines, turning to look at Steve with wounded eyes and a shocked face.

What!?

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, looking at Tony with pleading eyes, “I spilt paint on my shirt while I was working on that painting for the charity auction so I figured I’d put it on until I could go upstairs and get one of my own shirts and I guess it was too small or something because when I stood up to stretch it ripped in the chest-“

“His pecks are so big they ripped open a shirt,” Clint’s wonder-filled voice said from where he hung behind them.

“I put Dum-E in timeout for two weeks for that!”

”I know, I feel awful!”

“He didn’t talk to me or do his chores that whole month!”

“I know, I’m so sorry-“

“I can’t believe this,” Tony grumbled, his face full of disbelief as he looked at his boyfriend with hurt in his eyes. “Why did you just tell me!?”

“Hey, Natasha knew too and she didn’t say anything!” Steve defended himself.

“Dude, what the fuck!” Natasha’s voice rang out from where she was tied up with Sam across the room.

They all let out a little yell as the chains dropped a little bit more, bringing them closer to the mysterious chemical.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter if we get out of here alive or not because you are all dead to me,” Tony said, turning his head so he couldn’t look at Steve.

“Tony… Tony, come on, that’s a bit dramatic…”

Tony didn’t say anything after that and not long after, Coulson and his team showed up to get them out.

Tony didn’t speak to Steve for a week after that. He spent the whole week in his workshop playing fetch with Dum-E.

If Harry had a theme song, what would it be?

Now we all know he is a rock fan. He mentions Foo-Fighters and a few other bands he likes. But what would his theme song be?

I reckon it’d be Dangerzone by Kenny Loggins or Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. Only because they’re dramatic songs that work for Harry and his awesome entrances.

Chuck around your opinions and we can sort this out :)

anonymous asked:

I can feel 10 years of my lifespan disappearing whenever I see br0ganeshit ... also KL ... also antis getting 3k+ notes on their posts after threatening cast. I should be dead by this point but I'm alive because I'm spiteful fucker and I want to see vld fandom burn.

i feel this on a spiritual level. i too am fueled by pure spite and i want to see the chaos if one of the klantis’ notps becomes canon lmao

hey. all concerts are good concerts but sign me the FUCK up for small venue concerts over big arena concerts any day

100 Dialogue Prompts
  1. “Where the hell did that baby come from, Marissa?!" 
  2. “Did you destroy the world AGAIN?”
  3. "What do you mean you’re a serial killer?”    
  4. “Listen, you can’t just keep shoving people off the sides of cliffs.”
  5. “Oh my god. I thought you were dead.”
  6. “That wasn’t there before”
  7. “So what now?” “I have no idea, I thought that would kill us”
  8. “I can’t believe you’re married to death, again!”
  9. “Assassination would seem to be a better career, with your skillset.”
  10. “It’s not my fault that the snails committed mutiny!”
  11. “It’s situations like this that make me question why I follow you anywhere.”
  12. “Where did this dog come from?”
  13. “Did you remember to take the skin off?”
  14. “I was going to ask what you’re doing, but at this point, I don’t think I want to know.”
  15. “Why is there a corpse in the bathtub?”
  16. “What in tarnation”
  17. “I love you, I’ll make you love me too”
  18. “This would be a lot easier if you sat still.”
  19. “You see, it all began when it spoke back.”
  20. “This is the pit where we keep the cube that screams.”
  21. “Why did you steal my door?”
  22. “Why didn’t you just listen to me…”
  23. “Hey, you finally made it!”
  24. “Wait, there were only three of them. Why are there now four?”
  25. “How do you ‘accidentally’ hit someone hard enough to rip a hole through time and space?”
  26. “Why is there bloodstains on the floor, honey?”
  27. “… Why are you… eating tacos at 3 AM?” “Why not?”
  28. “Why would you train your gerbil army to take over the world and enslave humanity?!”
  29. “Are toasters supposed to float?”
  30. “Honey, did you eat the dog”
  31. “Hey bro, where’s our sister?” “Um… we don’t have a sister.”
  32. “Wanna help me steal a giraffe?”
  33. “I told you that you would regret it, now we’ve ended up like this.”
  34. “Why are your clothes all wet? Why are you covered in glitter? Why does your sister have wings? Ah- get off the carpet! It’s getting all wet!”
  35. “You’re not actually sure, are you?”
  36. “What do you expect me to do? I’m a magician, not a wizard!”
  37. “Dad? What are you doing here? This is a spaceship.”
  38. “Mom says I can’t burn the city hall with you. She said that we’re going to my aunt that day.”
  39. “You….you just don’t understand..”
  40. “Okay, so. No more caffeine for you, that’s apparent.”
  41. “Where were you last night?”
  42. “Okay but have you seen what my hair does?! I kills people!”
  43. “I don’t think you understand the term 'dead or alive’, because I don’t know if this thing IS dead or alive”
  44. “What do you mean, ‘there wasn’t a murder weapon’?”
  45. “Time flies, but I can fly faster.”
  46. “You just crashed with MY podship into that wall and all you say is »It’s just a scratch«?”
  47. “Now sweetie, don’t get scared when you hear the gunshots, okay? Just don’t come to the house.”
  48. “and… why do you have a gorilla in your room again?”
  49. “Okay, last question: why is there an owl in the fridge?”
  50. “Well shit, you’re hotter than i was expecting.”
  51. “It turns out, space isn’t actually the final frontier”
  52. “If I had hands right now I would choke you.”
  53. “…why did you think it would be a good idea to set that on fire?”
  54. “Close your eyes, sweetie. They can’t get you then.”
  55. “That tiger, that tiger eats humans”
  56. “I swear, if ONE more person comes at me with their hot dog buns–”
  57. “If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
  58. “Do I want to know why your'e in my apartment wearing only sport shorts which are quite tight?”
  59. “What do you mean that woman wasn’t you?”
  60. “Why is there a dog on the couch?!”
  61. “Stop dude stop, you scared the dogs.”
  62. “What on earth made you think the banana was a good idea?
  63. "Do I want to know whats in the box”
  64. “Wait, no! Please don’t leave me here, it’s getting dark. Have you not heard the stories of the things in these woods?”
  65. “Those were shoes yesterday”
  66. “Can I at least put on my socks first?”
  67. “Why is the Devil in your living room?” “It’s Saturday, Tom. Date night.”
  68. “John, get your damn death ray off of my cat’s bed. You’ve given poor Fluffy radiation poisoning!”
  69. “I get it, you think I don’t care about you. You think I want nothing to do with you… And you’re right.”
  70. “No. Not after last time.”
  71. “What made you think you could survive this?”
  72. “No! I never said you could reenact General Sherman’s Total War tactic from the Civil War! We’re gonna get arrested!”
  73. “Why does our 8 y/o daughter think that THAT werewolf is her pet dog?! He’s been terrorizing our entire town!!”
  74. “Have you even bothered to consider your options before deciding to bungee jump into the Pacific?”
  75. “That is NOT how you bury a dead body, Jared!”
  76. “Do you know where the cat is? I haven’t seen it in two weeks…”
  77. “You did what?!” “It’s not that big of a deal” “You killed a man!”
  78. “But you love me, don’t you? So you’ll forgive me.”
  79. “I don’t care.”
  80. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right?”
  81. “You’d be surprised how flexible a sloth can be.”
  82. “Oh great, the world exploded…. again”
  83. “I dressed up for THIS?”
  84. “Why? And how?”
  85. “Would it hurt you to tell me exactly where we’re going?”
  86. “You can’t take back those words anymore. Or everything else you did.”
  87. “he didn’t do anything I fucking told him to do!”
  88. “When they came, why didn’t you fight?”
  89. “What are you doing here?” “I was about to ask you the same thing…” “Well, it’s called the hanging tree for a reason.”
  90. “__, please come down from the tree, i’ll treat you to pizza.”
  91. “You can… seriously? Oh my gosh, teach me teach me teach me!!”
  92. “I wasn’t aware that 'monster’ was a term of endearment.”
  93. “Yes, I’m sure your flower pot really is trying to kill you, Debra.”
  94. “Why is our child on the roof?”
  95. “Do you want a hug? Will that help?”
  96. “How could you sign us up for this without reading the fine print?! It says right there that we have to give up everything!!!”
  97. “And it’s been stuck in there how long now?”
  98. “I learned I can’t trust you when the world was "fine”, now tell me one reason not to place a bullet between your eyes and listen to you.“
  99. “Why the hell are you naked in my room?”
  100. "Having criminals line up against their will and you killing them is not community service!”

100 prompts. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to our community.

Let’s make a new list right now! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”! I will use the first 100 prompts for the next list. One prompt per amigo please!

honestly keith is in a super bad mental place right now yet i haven’t really seen that many people… care?

now i hate to say this, but if it was lance going through all of what keith’s going through right now? you know the fandom would be going CRAZY.

…but it’s not. it’s keith.

his teammates all keep dying around him left and right, he keeps nearly escaping death (like when he was stuck in space in e1), and he’s being given a bad mindset just being with the blade altogether. but that’s not even all of it.

we all know keith pushes people away before they reject him, but how do you think he felt when the team, the only family and friends he hasdid reject him?

as someone super similar to keith, i can tell you that does not feel good at all.

and i know they ended it all with a hug saying they’ll always be there for him, but don’t tell me it didn’t hurt keith when not a single one of them actually said they wanted him to stay.

especially when shiro knows the blade of marmora way. victory/knowledge or death. and he knows how keith is.

(which shows this shiro… isn’t s2 shiro. that shiro would’ve stopped keith from staying with the blade, like how he tried stopping him from doing the trials.)

now there are really only two reasons keith stays with the blade in the first place.

now that shiro can pilot black again, keith doesn’t feel as if he has a place on the team (similarly to lance). now we do know part of the reason he’s been with the blade so much is because he didn’t like being the leader. he didn’t want that position. he was forced into it, then always criticized for being bad at it. now he did get somewhat better near the end with the help of lance, but i don’t think he realized it. (lance is the only one on the team who ever acknowledged him as leader besides shiro, after all.)

keith tried staying off the team since s3e6, after lance opened up to him. he tried to give black to shiro (which we all know didn’t work) and he let lance have red. so he truly feels he doesn’t belong on the team anymore. the team not stopping him from just straight up leaving cemented that.

the other reason keith stays with the blade is to get a sense of identity. he’s had his knife all his life, it’s his only real connection to who he is. but he’s learning the blade way, the galra way, and it’s not good for him. they keep telling him “the mission is more important than the individual”, which shows why so many bom members we’ve seen (thace, ulaz, etc) have sacrificed themself for the greater good.

keith tried sacrificing himself not only for the mission, but because he believed the team would benefit more having him dead than alive. he didn’t say goodbye to anyone before he did it, not even matt, who he was already talking to. he doesn’t think he matters. he’s just another casualty that (would’ve) died for the cause.

in conclusion keith’s mental state right now is bad. he’s not selfish for leaving the team. he did it because he doesn’t think they need him anymore. he doesn’t think he matters.

and it’s the blade that’s really cementing this in his mind.

alright listen up. because sweeran has been dead but sweeran is alive again so i gotta give yall a story. so we finish listening to endgame, right, and someone goes “hey taylor… how is ed?” bc he had just broken his arms. and taylors like “yeah… thats really. wow. like, thats both his arms. thats 100% of his arms there” which? first of all?? comedic genius. i cant believe my mom invented comedy? then she goes “yeah… he can type now though. like, at first i got emails saying “hey taylor, this is cherry. ed wanted to say “hey mate”” bc he couldnt type, but now ed can send those emails himself, so. improvement” and i love my parents????? 

in an alternate universe, Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, and the only problem with that is that Bucky passes out before Steve can properly introduce him to the rest of the Avengers. but that’s okay, because when Bucky next wakes up, free of mind control, it’s to the sounds of pandemonium in the kitchen. this is how he learns that there is a Norse god of thunder living there. also, that no one should mess with Nat’s food. (and that Barton messes with Nat’s food, and reinforces the imperative that no one should mess with Nat’s food.) that Dr. Banner eats enough for, like, four people. and, maybe most importantly, that Steve brings plates of food down to his boyfriend.

“wait what,” Bucky says when this comes up within the first day. oh no, he thinks. Steve got a boyfriend and Bucky wasn’t even around to tease him about it?

“that’s wrong,” Clint tells Thor, who was the one who volunteered this information in the first place, “everyone knows zombies can’t eat food.”

“i do miss when Anthony ate with us,” Thor sighs heavily, and Bucky despairs inside. he missed Steve’s first boyfriend and Steve’s first boyfriend’s death? that’s so sad. what kind of a best friend is Bucky now?

it takes him a few days to corner Steve about this. “you got a boyfriend?” Bucky demands, at which Steve blushes and nods. “who?” and that’s how Bucky learns Steve’s boyfriend was Tony Stark, and now Bucky’s missed the demise of Steve’s boyfriend and Howard’s kid and that’s just really, really fucking sad. “is he the reason you keep going to the basement?”

“that’s where his lab is,” Steve says, sounding sad. he’s producing a photo of Tony now. actually, it’s half of Tony’s face, captured in a manic grin while a blurry Steve in pajamas tries to grab the camera in the background. “he’s been away for so long. i miss him.”

damn. that’s really sad. “hey, c’mon,” Bucky tries to comfort, “plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Steve looks horrified at this. “Buck, i’d never!”

oh, no. Howard had a kid and that kid was Steve’s boyfriend and then he died and Steve isn’t even over him yet. Bucky thinks this is the worst possible time he could have been unbrainwashed.

at the end of his first week, he inadvertently suits up with them on a mission, despite Steve’s protests. Bucky pretends he doesn’t see Steve kiss the folded picture of Tony right before they go into the battlefield, like he’s about to help take down this horde of evil robots in his honor. that’s really, really fucking sad, holy shit, how’s Bucky supposed to comfort him through this?

about three fourths of the way through the mission, a man in a metal can joins them. “sorry i’m late!” says its garbled voice. “alarm didn’t go off in time.”

“because we turned it off,” Natasha says exasperatedly as she snaps an evil robot’s neck between her thighs. “can you even walk without the suit right now?”

oh, there’s a man in there? Bucky doesn’t get to ponder it until after they’ve dealt with the evil robot army. then they’re piling back into the quinjet and the metal man’s mask is folding away (fascinating) and Steve is taking him into his arms and kissing him and what? what happened to ‘i’d never!’? and then Steve pulls away and Bucky gets a good look at the man’s face and recognizes it from the crumpled photo Steve tucks into his pocket– “wait i thought you were dead.”

“i don’t understand but i’m offended,” Tony Stark says.

“your boyfriend’s not dead?” Bucky directs to Steve instead.

“Tony’s not dead,” Steve says, aghast. “of course not. why would you say that?”

and that’s how Bucky learns that this whole time, Tony’s been very much alive and just holed up in the lab working on a new arm for him, and that Steve was, in fact, not taking meals down to the lab because he wanted to feel close to his dead boyfriend’s spirit, but because he wanted to eat with his alive boyfriend. “so you just carry his picture around even though he’s not dead?”

“that’s a perfectly normal thing to do,” Steve defends.

“you kissed it like he was dead and you were thinking soon i will join you, my love.”

Steve goes scarlet. Tony preens and goes all, “aw, babe.” then they’re making out and Bucky’s somewhat horrified because he’s been so preoccupied thinking about Steve’s boyfriend being dead that he hasn’t spared a thought about how awful it might be to witness Steve and his living boyfriend’s disgusting love in real life. but hey, Tony’s really not that bad and he makes Steve happy, and Bucky gets a free arm out of it. (with which he punches Clint because it was totally Clint’s fault that he believed Tony was dead to begin with.)

3

SPLENDIDLAND’S GUIDE TO GHOSTS:

ROW 1:

GHOUL: completely dead, but remains alive through sheer willpower. because of this, it’s impossible to change a ghouls mind on anything.

SKELETON: a kind of ghost that feels attached to its past, and pilots its old body with a nostalgic somber mood. they love old timey black and white movies.

WISP: wandering ghost free of avarice. travels forests and moors with no posessions to its name, all it carries is the memories of its own death.

HAUNTED PAINTING: the soul of an artist who worried so much about their work being appreciated after death that their soul manifested itself as their greatest masterpiece. however, this painting is invisible to the living.

ROW 2:

ZOMBIE: a shy ghost who has never known a life outside of their body, and is working up the courage to finally leave it behind. deeply dysphoric about the appearance of their rotting visage.

POLTERGEIST: a spirit of a bratty child, cursed to be invisible but makes its presence known by throwing furniture around. it’s estimated that around 25% of all birds are actually dead, and are merely puppeteered by a poltergeist.

BANSHEE: a dumpster ghost from the sewer that screams and screams and screams, because it’s afraid of bugs and mice. as long as bugs and mice continue to exist, it will never stop screaming.

COMPUTER: a kind of electrical ghost created by humans. it’s good to stay on its good side, because it knows your credit card infomation and passwords.

ROW 3:

CREEPING FOG: ectoplasmic entity, it forgot everything about its life, so its form deteriorated into a spreading mess. it’s the fate of all ghosts to eventually take on this form, where they will all combine into a single conciousness. to humans, this ghost goes by the name of “clouds”

SHADE: dark and sneaky spirit that lives in shadows. it latches onto others and follows them around because it lacks confidence, but unfortuantly this has lead to it falling into some bad crowds. despite this, it remains optimistic that it will one day overcome its anxiety.

TUMBLEWEED: plant spirit who bumbles and tumbles across the earth with no direction, and can only be moved by wind. it’s forever in a state of panic because it worries that one day it will get blown into a volcano.

MUMMY: when it was alive, it fretted about its body deteriorating, and ensured that it would be preserved forever in a tomb, however now its own body is a tomb, and its ghost is unable to leave. the only way it can be freed is if its body is destroyed, something it refuses to allow to happen.

[My family, eating in a restaurant. A kid walks past our table in a Star Wars “Rebels Have More Fun” T-Shirt]
Me: That shirt is inaccurate. Rebels don’t have more fun. No one in Star Wars has more fun than Sheev. I mean, that guy is living his dreams. 
My Husband: Exactly. Everyone else is mostly watching their friends die and getting betrayed and crying all the time.
Me: It’s like they never even saw Return of the Jedi. I know he dies in that one, but come on. Sidious is having a BALL right up until the minute he he gets chucked into the abyss. 

Have you guys heard about the newest adventure race craze? It’s called the Tough Mulder. Obstacles include:

  • Running through cornfields shouting “SCULLAAAAAY!” as you try to avoid helicopter searchlights
  • Programming speed dial on a several generations-old cell phone before a soda machine detonates
  • Riding a rising UFO bareback for a minimum of 8 seconds
  • Lying in a coffin for an undetermined amount of time
  • Choosing a terrible tie and tying it properly
  • Following your boo down a massive hole in the forest
  • Building a tower of dead bodies
  • Jumping on to a moving train
  • Impregnating an infertile woman
  • Outrunning a horse
  • Driving a stake through a vampire
  • Finding your sister’s clone
  • Commandeering a Sno-Cat® across the Antarctic
  • …and more!

Credit to race organizers @crossedbeams, @dangerscully, @defnotmeyo, @kateyes224, @damselindistressmya for the above (and way more, but I limited it to just the ones that made me pee myself.)

8

Tony Stark just barely convincing Ross to give him and Natasha a chance to fix things instead of going after his fellow Avengers with “boys and bullets.”

I need to talk about this scene, and how it illustrates why I have genuine BAFFLEMENT that people want to convince me that Tony Stark cares about no one but himself.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

stucky is kinda one sided isn't it, like reading your post, obviously some of those are hc but in canon bucky cares a lot about steve, but steve doesn't seem to care much about bucky, i mean he admired bucky when they lived in brooklyn, but he never worried much about him once he was big and had the commandos and the love of his life next to him, bucky died and steve just went on happy with his life, it's kinda sad bc now bucky's the only thing left so hes holding onto him

To quote my hero Ben Wyatt “I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually it’s going to annoy me if I don’t”

Things Steve Literally Does And Says That Prove This Statement Is Nonsense:

  • Leads a one man rescue mission into an active warzone because he knew Bucky was there, and dead or alive he was taking him out of there
  • Was willing to walk to this location to save Bucky, despite being told Bucky was most likely dead, if that’s what it would take to bring him back. 
  • Was ready to die in a fiery demise, as long as Bucky got out of there safely. 
  • Literally jumped over fiery pits of hell so that Bucky would get out of there alive because Bucky refused to leave without him. Self sacrificing idiots, the pair of them. 
  • Changed his initial stance of “I don’t want to kill anyone, I don’t like bullies” to “I won’t stop until all of Hydra are captured or dead” after Bucky was taken from him as a result of Hydra. 
  • Sat drinking in a bar, even after he realised he couldn’t get drunk, in tears, to numb the pain of him having lost Bucky - he doesn’t even need to say why he’s crying, Peggy immediately knows it was because of Bucky and tries to reassure him it wasn’t his fault.
  • Crashes a fucking plane into the ice. Like this binch could have just given his damn co-ordinates to Peggy, could have been found in days at most. But nah he just wanted to Die. 
  • Goes to an exhibit for himself and stares sadly at footage of himself and Bucky laughing together
  • Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky”
  • “He’s not the kind you save, he’s the kind you stop” “I don’t think I can do that” “He might not give you a choice, he doesn’t know you” “He will.”
  • I’m with you till the end of the line” 
  • Was literally ready to let himself be killed before he gave up on Bucky, because he had so much belief that Bucky was in there and would remember him. 
  • Spent 2 years looking for him with Sam. 
  • Went against 117 countries in order to stop Zemo and clear Bucky’s name. 
  • Became a literal fugitive to keep him safe 
  • Natasha: For the record, this is making it worse
    Steve: He’s alive. 
  • Pulled a helicopter out of the sky with his bare hands like…..i don’t even know what else to say, this extra ass fuck literally pulled a helicopter out of the damn sky to keep Bucky safe 

Y’all been watching different movies if you actually think Steve don’t care about Bucky, both their stories are entirely interconnected and entwined, they care about each other equally lmao.