because cows are assholes

For some reason I always manage to run into high level enemies when I start a new RPG…
In Witcher that thing that appears when you kill too many cows (oops)
Skyrim the fucking giant because I thought that asshole was peaceful 
And now in DAI I ran into a fucking dragon by accident 

anonymous asked:

Really?? Locked in a booth, sitting on Tegan's lap, I think Sara's the one who had the opportunity there. Let's just agree the pictures give a lot of food for thought.... and fic.

Just knowing how Tegan is, I would assume that it was Tegan’s idea. I imagine it went something like this (blip drabble time!):

Upon stepping into the small booth, I could feel Sara’s skepticism radiating from her lithe frame, narrow shoulders becoming even narrower in the tight space. I knew what she was thinking. How the hell had other bands, bands much bigger than just us two, fit in for a series of photos together? For a moment, she glanced down at the sliver of space left on the bench beside the spot that I had taken. Surely attempting to take six photos crammed onto it would seem clumsy and awkward. Arms would have to be draped over one another, Sara’s fake smile that mum hated so much would truly have its chance to shine…there had to be a better idea.

“Are we going to take these or are you claustrophobic already?” I joked, though my playful prodding had irritated her. Quirking a brow, Sara leaned closer to the camera before glancing upwards at the screen just above it that displayed her actions in real time.

“How in the fuck have they crammed more than one person in here before?” she muttered. See? I told you I knew what she was thinking. (Twins!)

"Sar,” I chimed in. “Would you just fucking sit down?” Her over analyzing of the situation was making me inexplicably nervous. Why the hell did it matter? Wasn’t it the point to be awkward and idiotic in photo booths? “It’s six pictures. Literally 30 seconds of our time. Not even a minute.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to sit? You took up the bench like a cow!” Sara’s annoyed laughter that slithered into the spaces between her words had always given me mixed signals. Even at thirty three, I had yet to understand whether she was joking or truly crossed. 

“If I’m a cow than you’re a fucking cow because we’re practically the same size, you asshole,” I shot back, scooting closer into the corner and against the wall nearest me. “Just fucking sit; why does it matter? These pictures are supposed to be stupid, anyway.”

Sara glanced towards the curtain that separated us from the outside world. I’m positive she was beginning to feel paranoid that the lovely folks we had interviewed with were judging us. Her anxiety was becoming tangible; spreading into the air and pulling me under along with her. Frustrated, I grabbed for her bony wrist, tugging Sara onto my lap. “Say cheese!” I called out obnoxiously, smacking at the side of her thigh to draw her attention towards the camera as it began to snap away—one picture every five seconds. The excitement of the idea of photo booths crept into our systems as our most idiotic (yet presentable) faces came forth, somehow still managing to sneak one “proper” photo in—one that mum would be proud of. It wasn’t until the strip began printing that Sara turned to me over her shoulder. 

“…Do you think anyone will notice that I’m sitting on your lap?”

They’ll notice, Sara. They notice everything.

Hey if you’re feeling down or disappointed about the way things may have gone this season just try thinking about all the fantastic ladies on this show and trust me you will feel so so much better. I mean there’s

  • Anthea, who is a highly placed intelligence officer in the government with incredibly privileged security clearance and gives absolutely zero fucks about either John or Sherlock
  • Sally, the high ranking detective who kept her job because she’s damn good at it and refuses to be cowed by the asshole who keeps swanning into her crime scenes and fucking them up
  • Jeanine, who is funny and sarcastic and resourceful and forthright and who absolutely refused to sit back and passively take even the slightest hint of “shame” and instead turned Sherlock’s horrible treatment of her back on him to help herself and humiliate him
  • Mrs. Hudson, an older woman who is presented as a complete and complex human with a full and fascinating back story that does not revolve around the two boys that she will do anything to protect INCLUDING taking on fully trained CIA agents
  • Mary, another woman with a complicated past that does not focus on the men in her life, a woman who is unapologetic for her history and does not beg for forgiveness while looking to make amends
  • Molly, an absolute queen who has gone through some of the most incredible character development in such a short period of time, going from being a woman who was fine with meekly being manipulated by the man she fancies to demanding apologies for his wretched behavior

Say what you will about the plot developments but god damn if these fantastic women who can play Sherlock Holmes like a fucking fiddle don’t make you happy then seriously I don’t know what will