because constantly not caring is constantly losing

Today, someone in hospital management explained to me that the reason our unit is always so understaffed is because the nurses insist on selfishly taking their two yearly earned floating holidays. “If they cared about these babies,” they said, “they would forfeit them.”

I’m not a violent person.  I’ve never struck anyone in my life.  But for just a minute……just a few seconds….all I could think about was…..

Originally posted by crap-userrname16

No wonder we burn out and leave this job.  


Shawn leaves (you) for L.A.

Ok so this is reallyyyy bad! It was supposed to come out with more angst but it turned out a bit sadder than I imagined. I’ll have to split this into a few parts and I was thinking of making it a series buttttt, I don’t know if you guys will like it! It’s a lot harder to write these than I thought. I am still not sure about this omg… nonetheless I hope you enjoy it! Shawn is jut being a basic dick that most of us, unfortunately, are familiar with, but I am thinking about turning this around. I am sorry, as usual, for any grammar mistakes! I really really hope you like it, even if it’s just a little bit!!

You stood there completely petrified. You held the McDonald’s bag tighter as you waited for him to open the door. There was no way to describe the amount of feelings you were experiencing in that moment, as you recollected all the words he said to you earlier.

“I think we need to talk, but it’s nothing bad.”

“Just some things I think should change between us. I’m sure you’ll be okay with it!”

“It’s fine, no need to worry, really. We’re okay.”

Keep reading

The schools when they lose a loved one for the first time
  • Storm students lose that creative… spark they previously had and were known for. They won’t talk to anyone, and definitely won’t talk to you if you mention the terrible storm brewing outside, or if you try to give your condolences. Sometimes, you’ll be able to hear heartbroken sobs if you lurk outside of their dorm. Please, knock on their door, invite yourself in if you have to, and show them that there is still more to life than this grief.
  • Ice students become colder than ever before. They shut themselves off from everyone, freezing the door shut to their dorm room. They don’t attend the funeral. They become angry, and tend to lash out to their loved ones verbally. Their touch will give you frostbite if they’ve sunken that deep into their own depression, so please be careful, and I’d suggest a warm coat and some mittens before you hug them.
  • Fire students are… not the most stable at this time. They aren’t safe either. Their possessions tend to be blackened and burned beyond recognition, and their own skin may be as well, if no one is willing to care for their friend who is so obviously in need of love and friendship. Many fire students don’t survive the aftermath of their own grief, so please care for them.
  • Death students have the short end of the stick, as usual. They blame themselves for this. They say it was their fault. At the funeral, all of the flowers wilt and die when the death student speaks. They won’t cry in front of anyone. They’ll stop eating, or doing anything to continue their own existence. Please, take care of them. Don’t let them go out and fight monsters, because they’ll pick dangerous fights they know they’ll lose. Please, love them, and tell them they study death because without it, the Spiral wouldn’t be balanced. Remind them that without death, life wouldn’t be worth living.
  • Myth students do not react well to their own sadness. The tightrope they constantly walk between dreams and reality frays, their footsteps too heavy and grief-stricken. They sleep for days on end, smiling slightly, but with the remnants of unshed tears caught in their eyes whenever they wake. They walk as if constantly in a dream now, sometimes you’ll worry that they’ll never wake up. Please, be their alarm if you have to. Wake them, and hug them so tightly that they can’t deny that it’s real, and that they are here.
  • Life students… oh goodness, those poor life students. For all those years they spend studying the vibrant nature that is Life… they don’t know what to do when it ends. They can’t understand why they didn’t see it, why their healing spell fizzled or why it wouldn’t have worked even if they used one. They walk around in a daze now. They can’t speak of the one they lost. They feel like everything they worked for was for nothing, if it’s all going to end anyway. Please, remind them of why they’re still here, of why everything is worth living for. Sometimes, advice for a life student can be the same for a death student.
  • Balance students become like bad reflections of themselves. Instead of the mild mannered support everyone’s used to, they are temperamental. They can’t use spells at all anymore, they can’t meditate, or read, or even sleep. They blame themselves, for not protecting and being there for the one they lost. They need the wisdom of old friends. Even if you don’t think you know what to say, talk to them. Please, tell them to take as much time as they need, but to remember that they can rely on others.

SHOUT OUT TO THE ‘VISUAL HOLE’ OF EACH GROUP, WHO PERSERVERE THROUGH SO MUCH HATE AND PAIN ON A REGULAR BASIS. The idols who have suffered endlessly because people force their own standards of beauty on them, or tell an idol they aren’t as attractive as another member. To the idols who are constantly degraded and told they should leave their group because they are ‘dragging to other members down’. Those idols who are called ugly, worthless, idiotic and no-good every day not only by antis, but by managers and fans. To those idols who are forced to get plastic surgery or lose weight because they are constantly reminded of their flaws.

These are the same idols who spend extra time to work out, or to change themselves to make others happy. These idols who are still so kind and caring to their fans even if they feel worthless and destroyed. These idols who work to make others feel good so no one will ever feel the way they feel.

These idols, these ‘visual holes’ are human too, so don’t think for one FUCKING second that they deserve any less than the ‘attractive’ member or that they deserve less success and love.

anonymous asked:

What can you say about libra moons? When hurt? When in love?

When a libra moon is hurt they can be very cold. And it’s not something subtle nor is it something they’ll try to hide-they’re loving nature may become More introverted and isolated-they could have a unreadable vibe about them that can seem as if they’re an entirely different person. Depending on how deeply they’ve been hurt they can become evasive and unresponsive and simply avoid the situation or circumstance all together. Libra moons are naturally more secretive than libra suns so often when they’re hurt they keep it to themselves and hate making a scene. But they often do feel pain deeply and it does impact them-often times when they’ve been hurt badly enough you’ll never be able to reach that side of them ever again for any reason at all because one thing that’s often never spoken upon is libra moons “shedding” trauma. Rather than sulking or allowing it to continue on they simply shed old mechanisms and feelings that cloud them and for that reason it can be hard to get the same libra moon that you did because they’ve metaphorically killed it off. Libra moons have an intense relationship with their feelings and pain is something that rewires them.

Libra moons in love are passionate and very entranced. They adore the idea and live in the concept of love as if it were there oxygen. They love the idea of belonging to someone-albeit they may be indecisive and nervous when the world “love” starts to tingle in their mind and body but once they open up to the idea they’re incredibly loving and dedicated to their lover-they might be a bit more serious and intense with their romantic partners and like I said libra moons are very different from libra suns and tend to be very intimate on an emotional level with those they care for-they’re still lighthearted but they remind me of cap moons and are very mature and intellectual about the concept of love and how it should be so they tend to constantly revise and improvise the romance and when they love you they’re constantly observing and adapting for you and to some this may not be a noticeable quality but your libra moon lover is constantly growing and changing for you so they are always up to pace with you. They expect devotion and that concept that libras flirt for fun isn’t really true here because once a libra moon is in love they lose sight of other people unless it’s their family and only want you there is no I’m bored let me go flirt with such and such. They’re charming but the only one they care about charming is you.

quitting a sport because you’re bigger than all your teammates  #growingupfat

wanting to maybe try acting but no one would cast you unless you lost 30 pounds #growingupfat

constantly comparing yourself and putting things off, saying “when i look like this, then i can buy tht cute dress”  #growingupfat

constantly imagining your life as a “better”, skinnier, “perfect” you  #growingupfat

the constant weight loss/weight gain yo-yo #growingupfat

beating yourself up because you can’t lose the weight and you’re too prideful to ask for help  #growingupfat

remembering the days when you used to not care how you looked  #growingupfat

wishing more than anything to go back to before the world told you about your “flaws”  #growingupfat

trying to focus on important things but your negative body thoughts keep consuming you  #growingupfat

Your skinny friends who KNOW they’re skinny calling themselves fat right in front of you, not even realizing the hours you spend hating yourself daily for that word, and having society treat you like dirt like jfc  #growingupfat

knowing you’re disappointing your parents  #growingupfat

trying to promote body positivity when you feel like shit  #growingupfat

people who have never experienced trauma based on their physical appearance just telling you to “love urself hun ;)”  #growingupfat

Things you probably didn’t know about ENFJs.

1. We’re secretly rebels.

Although ENFJs are dominant judgers, we’re not interested in blindly following the rules. The best way to get us not to do something is to reply “Because I said so” when we ask, “Why should I?”. And we will ask why. We don’t like to do things without a good reason. Whom will this benefit? (Fe) How does this fit into my goals? (Ni) If we don’t see how the rules support either of these criteria, we will not follow them, simple as that.

2. We’re cute and cuddly until we’re not.

ENFJs get cast as the cinnamon rolls of the MBTI community, but it’s not always accurate. We can be vicious. ENFJ might be The Protagonist, but we also make formidable adversaries. Some of the most compelling villains, both real and fictional, have been ENFJs. Think Hitler, Regina Mills from Once Upon a Time, Alison DiLaurentis from Pretty Little Liars. If we get fed up with a situation, we can make your life an utter nightmare, either by just being generally unbearable or pushing the one button we know will set you off. Our kindness is only as good as the calibration on our Fe compass.

3. We care more than anyone else…until we don’t.

People don’t realize how quickly we can stop caring. Yes, we’ll be your biggest cheerleader and most loyal supporter, but if you betray us, or hurt us (or, more likely, someone close to us), prepare to get frozen out. INFJs doorslam. ENFJs freeze out. We can go from being your best friend to a complete stranger in the matter of hours. And once we stop caring, it’s very hard for us to go back.

4. We’re leaders, but we don’t always want to be.

Thanks to our Fe and Ni, ENFJs make excellent leaders. We know both how to recruit people to our cause and envision the best course of action to take. However, we’re not interested in bossing people around. Leading can often be exhausting for us, as it involves managing a lot of details at once while ensuring that work is getting done. Our natural drive and ideas tend to push us out into the spotlight though, whether we like it or not.

5. We can be a lot more blunt than people expect.

When people think Fe, they tend to think of people who say only what will make people happy and avoid telling painful truths. This is not the case. ENFJs can be painfully blunt, especially if we see that you’re hurting yourself or others. Our Ni allows us to discern the truth, and our Fe will want to protect whoever is at risk. If the benefits of being blunt outweigh any emotional trauma that it will inflict, we will be blunt. The end justifies the means.

6.  Only talking about feelings can exhaust us.

People tend to assume that because we are dominant feelers, we only care about emotions. That is far from the truth. In fact, having to deal with others’ emotions constantly can be draining, especially if they’re negative or painful. We’ll do it because we want to help, but don’t be surprised if we need time to recover afterward. We also love to talk about ideas, especially ones related to society. Help us develop our Ti by discussing intellectual matters with us. Our overworked Fe will thank you.

7. We need more alone time than most extroverts.

Dominant Fe means we are constantly in touch with other people to the point of losing ourselves and our individuality. Socializing can get addictive for us, so sometimes we don’t notice this until we start to feel a general sense of unease and feeling unbalanced or off-center. It’s very important for ENFJs to have alone time in order to cultivate our Ni and learn to develop an identity outside other people.

8. We’re good at figuring out where we can cut corners and find loopholes.

While ENFJs generally try to be conscientious, if we are pressed for time or simply don’t care (yes, it happens; we’re human and simply don’t have the capacity to care about every single thing), we know exactly where we can skimp. We’re good at picking out what matters in a project and what doesn’t, so we’ll skimp on the less important parts and try harder on the parts that actually matter. Likewise, we can set aside our ideals and give you exactly what you want in order to get our desired outcome.

9. We spend a considerable amount of time trying to be good because we know how easy it is for us to go bad.

ENFJs have a bad reputation for being manipulative, and it’s not undeserved. Unhealthy ENFJs use their highly developed Fe and Ni to read people and figure out exactly how to get what they want out of them. Even healthy ENFJs find themselves unwittingly swaying people to their views. We also tend to be aware of the things we’re realistically capable of doing. Add that to our tendency to fall to dark thoughts when we’re alone for too long, and you have the recipe for a lifelong struggle to uphold our ideals instead of just taking the easy way out. We often overcompensate by being extra good in an effort to prevent such a decline.

10. You might not know when one is around.

ENFJs are human chameleons. We have the ability to observe others and absorb aspects of their personality into ourselves. We tend to mirror who we’re around, so we can come off as their type. But even when alone, we can mistype quite easily. A lot of ENFJs mistype as ESFJ or INFJ, due to imprecise test questions. If their tertiary Se is particularly well developed, ENFJs can even mistype as ESFP. Cognitive orientation doesn’t always translate into action. I’m cognitively extroverted, but don’t always engage my environment, leading others (and online tests) to think I’m an introvert. MBTI can only truly measure cognitive styles, not behavior. 

Not SS Tag

Hey, look, it’s this thing! I was tagged by @prinxietyhell to do this

I have no idea who has done this and who hasn’t so @lampisimportant if you haven’t been tagged yet there ya go.

Logic - Lane - they/them

Lane is the head, both because they’re Logic and because they’re the main side. The learning and consequently spouting out random facts. They also tend to hyper fixate. A lot. Like they find something that they’re interested in and they latch on; researching until they stop hyper fixating. They’re also a huge nerd and when they get into something they try to learn random facts about said thing. On the negative side, they’re an expert emotion bottler. Half the time emotions show up and they don’t even bother to think about it or ask the others, they just bottle it and add it to the pile. They have been getting better about that though.

Anger - Grant - they/them or he/him

98% of the time Grant is ranting to himself, or one of the others. He’s known for yelling most of the time and just generally not being the nicest of the sides. He’s extremely argumentative and a general hot head. He tends to punch things to relieve let some of his anger out (walls, tables, counters, pillows, etc.) but he has never hit a person and wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he hit one the others. The others understand that he can’t control his yelling most of the time and don’t get offended by how he expresses himself. However, on bad days when Grant is more prone to yelling and punching things, Anxiety can’t be around him for long periods of time. He has actually mellowed out some in the past couple years and is more reclusive than he has been in the past. When he does come out though, he comes out full force.

Fancy - Jamie (Fancy Nancy, Fanc Nanc, J, Jay-bird) - they/them or she/her

Jamie loves dressing up and wearing makeup. Usually, she wears some type of dress, but occasionally she’ll wear a suit. She usually is pretty high energy, seeing as she is the fanciful/creative side. She also won’t take crap from anyone. She is completely willing to kick your ass while in heels just to prove a point. And for the times when heels aren’t enough, she has knives. She would never dream of using them on any of the others, but she does use them thoroughly when she goes on her adventures, or as she likes to call them, her flights of fancy. Her stories have been known to get kinda dark, but they always have a happy, or hopeful ending. For the longest time because of her nickname of Fancy Nancy the others thought her real name was Nancy.

Anxiety - Hunter (Anx, Xiety) - they/them or he/him

Hunter hardly ever hardly ever lets people use his real name, preferring they use either Anxiety or a nickname. Anxiety acts like a cat most of the time and is constantly seeking attention from the others. Contrary to what the others originally thought, Anx is actually extremely clingy. They love to get hugs and just cuddle up to the others. He’s also constantly freezing so his favorite person to curl up with is Anger, who is an actual furnace. Despite sleeping a lot, he’s still constantly tired and grumpy. If he chooses you as a pillow, or cuddle buddy you better not have any plans, or jostle them too much. They also weigh the least because when they get stressed or get upset they lose their appetite and can’t bring himself to eat. Honestly, they are just a smol bean that the others decided to take care of and protect.

Parental - Rory (Dad, Pa, Pops) - they/them or he/him

As his title name states, he’s the parent of the group. Rory is the perfect of mix of dad jokes and mama bear, knowing when he needs to give a joke and when he needs to defend. He’s a sweetheart to everyone unless they’ve hurt someone he considers his child. While he isn’t the peppiest of the group (that title goes to Fancy) he is the one takes care of everyone, sometimes (usually) never taking care of himself. The others know he hates to accept help so they stick to doing small things that get noticed, but don’t call attention to the problem.

How do they work together?

Logic x Anger - This is usually debate and/or rant mode. Emotions shut off and we’re left with a quick-thinking duo with no filter. They can be a tad scary and tend to say things that they don’t mean when working together.

Logic x Fancy - Writing is about the only thing they work together on and even that can be a bit sketchy. “It has to go in this direction!”  “How?! There is no way we can get it to go that direction!”. They fight some, though not as much as… others

Logic x Anxiety - Anx tends to cling to Lane the most, where one is you’ll usually find the other nearby. These two are best friends and have been found curled up and/or asleep together so often everyone is just blind to it.

Logic x Parental - These two. Oh lord, these two. They constantly argue over how to deal with emotions (“You can’t just keep bottling them, I mean look at these older ones, they’re starting to break open!”  “I can at least try! I mean it is only logical to continue how we’ve been doing things for years now!”)

Anger x Fancy - Fancy tends to help Anger vent. Giving him a way to create rather than destroy. Fancy is usually the one to approach him on bad days and just takes him gently into her room to make art. She’ll have him smash things and then make like mosaics and stuff.

Anger x Anxiety -These two’s relationship. On bad days Anxiety can’t be around Grant because of all the yelling. On good days these two will curl up together because of all the body heat Anger gives off. When things get bad and there is a lot of anxiety, Anger will sometimes try to help which leads to lashing out.

Anger x Parental  - These two are the scariest duo of the bunch. Whenever Rory goes into Mama Bear mode, Grant is right there helping. It may be hard for Grant to admit, but he really cares a lot. Do not cross theses two when they’re on a rage together (unless you’re considered their child in which case they will probably stop everything to take care of you tbh)

Fancy x Anxiety - Fancy and Anxiety actually get along most of the time. Mostly because Anx will help Fanc create things and gives her inspiration. However when it comes to how things should be run… They fight a lot. Anxiety used to win most of the time, but Fancy has been winning more lately. (“Matt should dress nice today! It doesn’t even have to be a dress, let’s do a suit!”  “We are not doing that. People will stare at them and question them. We do not want that attention” “Aww, come on, it’ll make them feel good. Boost their confidence!”  “Not when I’m done with them it won’t”)

Fancy x Parental - There isn’t much to say about this pair They’re the positive sides so they tend to stick together.

Anxiety x Parental - Rory is usually able to swiftly pull Anxiety out of attacks. He seems to always know exactly what to say and do to take care of them. On the same note, Anxiety always knows the best way to help Rory even when he refuses to accept help.

anonymous asked:

what if Thomas and Alex were together for a long time and then Thomas gets sick, really sick, and Alexander is constantly worried and really fuckin terrified because the sickness that Thomas has is extremely similar to the one he and his mother had

Like- when its him he’s like “lol whatever im fine just leave me here to suffer its cool”
But when someone he cares about gets sick its immediately to the hospital with you

If Thomas got sick and stayed sick for longer then like three days Ham would lose it. He’d be all shaky and panicked, making Thomas drink like eight glasses of water every couples hours and constantly taking his temperature and just hovering over him. God forbid he be nauseous or vomiting cause Alex would have him in the car so fast. He’s not taking any risks, like hell he’ll lose Jefferson too

Yes, please ruin my routine

It’s not like you’re stressing me out or anything.

It’s not like I’m drowning in anxiety.

It’s not like you care.

Or understand

Why would you?

You’re a neurotypical with great grades who isn’t constantly drowning in the fact you have a GIANT chance of failing. 

You aren’t constantly faced with the idea that you might lose the only thing making it financially okay to attend the school you love.

You haven’t lost the love for something because it’s constantly making your life a giant stressed mess.

Something everyone who cares about games, regardless of side, NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND

Rom Sites and emulators and sites like aren’t enough to preserve games. There are no truly functional and usable Mac emulators, and there’s only one surviving repository of mac games… because no-one cared enough about it. Do you really think in another few decades, people will care enough about, say, the Atari Jaguar or the 3D0 to maintain its games or emulators? And that’s just the actual code and making it run.

We’re also talking about the ASSETS. Do you know what companies often do with assets when they’re done with them? Deliberately delete them. (which is the ACTUAL reason why 50% of movies before 1950 are gone — because they weren’t considered worth keeping, so they’d be destroyed because it was cheaper than storing them.) That’s what happened to Kingdom Hearts, and why Final Mix HD had to be reconstructed from scratch based on the finished game.

Even if they don’t delete them, the tech becomes obsolete and/or the assets become scattered, and unreadable. That’s what happened to Grim Fandango. The ONLY reason Grim Fandango Remastered exists is because archival techniques were used to recover the assets.

And files can just degrade over time or become corrupt in accidents — that’s what happened to the Pinnacle Station DLC for Mass Effect, which is why it’s not in the PS3 Mass Effect trilogy, and will likely never be any future release of the games, ever.

And that’s just a FEW examples of the ways we’re constantly, CONSTANTLY losing video game history. An archiver is not just there to preserve the code, but to preserve the game in its entirety, if at all possible, including historical context. They’re also there to make sure that it remains accessible — that current, functional  emulators exist and that it’s on media that can actually be read and is backed up often enough not to deteriorate.

And this attitude is that it doesn’t matter, because it’s too new to take care of, is WHY we’re missing so many films and early TV shows (97 episodes of Doctor Who alone) — people didn’t care enough to actually maintain them. The owners didn’t care enough not to destroy or tape over them for space. Even when people did realize this might be something worth keeping, the proper archival practices to both maintain them and keep track of what you actually had didn’t exist. If we treat video games this way, by the time we wake up to what we’re losing, it will be too late… and an art form without its history has no use.

If all video games stopped being made forever, tomorrow, it would be less of a blow to gaming than failing to maintain video game archival practices.

I  doubt anyone, Gamergate or anti-GG, actually wants to destroy gaming… but I see too many who are acting like they do out of ignorance.

35 things I'll never let go of if Beth doesn't "resurrect"

…and for good measure, things I won’t let go of even if she does resurrect

*This is not meant to be an exhaustive list of all of Team Delusional’s theories because even though I support them and think many of them are absolutely brilliant, I do not read all of them (I probably don’t even read close to half of them, to be completely honest). 

This is a list mostly of my own personal meta/observations and the things I’ve discussed with others. So bottom line: this is me venting, and collecting together all of my observations and the things that frustrate me when I try to accept that she’s not coming back (because damn it all, I’m tryin’ to accept it, move on, start over, however I can), more than it is a ‘collection of evidence’ or a 'case for’ TD.

  1. The fungi (mushrooms) used in 4x10 Inmates while she and Daryl are running from the prison. I am intimately aware of practically all of the symbolism of fungi because I’m researching them for my studio art senior show. Fungi represent rebirth, cycles of nature, life rising from decay/death, spiritual enlightenment, and transformation. I did meta on 4x10 and its use of fungi in my megameta, the first meta I published to here, about a week or so before the MSF… right before I lost a lot of hope because of how awful Coda was.
  2. The symbolism of rabbits (a rabbit/hare is also going to be in my senior show… as well as peach pits inside the rabbit– isn’t that so fucking bizarre? my life matches up with this show so much, g damn it), how rabbits are in front of them but they can’t see them in the beginning of 4x10, how a rabbit is what Daryl and Len fight over when Len talks about a 'bitch’ being on Daryl’s mind and how 'the little ones don’t last too long out here,’ and how Morgan pulls out a rabbit’s foot at the altar of the church in the ending scene of her 'deathisode’ (death + episode– I’m so clever).
  3. Every single line given to Beth that asserted she would survive. “I can take care of myself.” “I’m not like Maggie, or Carol, or Michonne! I’m not like you or them, but I made it!” “I’m gonna get out like Noah.” “I sing. I still sing.” and many, many others I’m probably blocking out just so I can cope.
  4. The shot focusing on the gun going down the elevator shaft.
  5. The end of Daryl’s bolts going from orange and white to green in season 3 and remaining that color since then. And then NR’s name in the credits accompanied by the images of TWO bolts in a tree, which then fades in focus to the Greene family farm. I suppose you could argue this already came to fruition in the form of Daryl and Beth being separated together, and then finding a 'home’ in the funeral home, but this still aggravates me because I feel to show 2 arrows and a home, regardless of whether or not that property was eventually burned to the ground, even if it foreshadows it all 'going up in smoke’ so to speak, and Daryl still not getting 'a home,’ per se, I felt it also foreshadows closure, and we are getting no closure right now as it all stands. Her death did not provide anyone with closure and that’s why we’re so mad. (And if you’re going to argue with me that sometimes not getting closure is realistic, seriously, fuck off. Not only is that just invalid in the sense that they constantly suspend realism and bend it to their own devices– namely it seems to keep male characters alive but kill off female characters– but the real heart of the matter is: TELLING A STORY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE RESTRICTED TO THE CONFINES OF REALISM–a story is inherently defined as a controlled experience, controlled by writing–and because of that, I expected closure when encountering a character death.)
  6. Andrea’s death was re-written, and RE-SHOT (meaning re-enacted and re-filmed) in order to provide a better sense of closure than we were originally going to be granted. But we’re given this for Beth? We’re given this for a minor character who was built up from almost no lines and no significance to the major plot to become the next character to majorly carry on comic!Andrea’s storyline? 
  7. We’re given this for the character who represents surviving depression and suicide? People who have to confront wanting to die on a daily basis and tune into this show to escape and to ultimately be given hope in the face of cruel truths about life are rewarded with… this???
  8. Why the FUCK did Andrea have to die, AND Beth? Do they HATE comic!Andrea? Two previously suicidal blondes who were kind of inept become badass characters with a huge sense of self-agency and grow up so damn much, to come to these unsatisfactory deaths (esentially written by the same person, and as I’ve already argued, Andrea’s was rewritten to be more satisfying than it was originally scripted, and yet Gimple’s going to repeat the mistakes of Mazzara? With HIS blonde that he built up?) So it’s Andrea 2.0! And I will never be ok with this repetitive expulsion of great female characters, but perhaps the pain will lessen if it’s redeemed by having Beth come back.
  9. I don’t give a flying fuck about Father Gabriel or Noah or Dawn or Dr. Edwards or Sasha or Tyreese or Tara and her fucking yo-yo or Rosita and her fishing skills or Abraham’s asshole reprisal of Shane wanting to get to Fort Benning compared to how much they made me care about Beth. They are not compelling characters, and they do not deserve more storytelling (not yet, not so far). (Conversely, “sacrificing” herself for Noah only makes sense if she’s really supposed to be paralleling Jesus, as I make the point of in this post.) (Ok, note: yeah, I like Sasha and Tyreese and Tara… yeah. They’re ok. But I seriously am NOT fucking invested in them (and sadly I’ll probably never allow myself to invest myself in another TWD character ever again), and it doesn’t make sense that I would be invested in them, especially in comparison to Beth, because she’s been with us for longer and been given better development.)
  10. Riffing off the previous point: Beth’s death episode couldn’t even focus on her? It couldn’t even remain in one focal point? After multiple episodes where the environment does not shift, we had to go back to fucking around with GREATM, fucking around with Father Gabriel, and fucking around with Michonne and Carl? The episode that is presumably the last time we see her can’t even fully articulate what was really going on in the hospital, what the actual problems were between Dawn and the other officers, what Beth was actually thinking and experiencing, seeing Carol wake up, and then seeing Daryl mourn her? UNDERSTANDING THE PLOT LEADING UP TO HER DEATH COULDN’T EVEN BE THE ENTIRE FOCUS OF HER LAST EPISODE WITH US? We really had to watch GREATM, FG, and Michonne and Co. fuck around instead?
  11. You’re gonna… you’re gonna kill off a female character in a shock value death that is EXACTLY like the previous MSF (A Greene dies during a hostage negotiation) who completely embodies and enacts your claims that this show is not about zombies and shock value but is instead about intense character development and encouraging hope and encouraging deep meaningful relationships between the characters? You’re… you’re gonna do that? Really? After you already killed off every other moral compass character before her? After you’ve constantly rehashed the whole 'the most hopeful characters are the first to go’ ideology? You’re really gonna assert that 'the good ones don’t survive’? Fucking really?
  12. Season 5 uses religious iconography! It’s super fucking bizarre and ultimately ineffective! Because we don’t fucking understand what it means! And it will all be made meaningless if in fact she does not resurrect!
  13. The “Parting Glass.” Beth never took a drink from Dawn’s flask; she refused her parting glass, when other 'moral compass characters’ representing hope have had more associations to alcohol than her and more satisfying character arcs, and some of them have even drank alcohol right before dying– namely, Merle. I talk about this in my Parting Glass meta.
  14. Pretty sure there had to be a bigger point to having two Bob characters other than being able to trick Sasha, because even in tricking Sasha, that character’s trick accomplished nothing because Rick killed him. Does two Bobs mean two storylines? A 'reset’ all the way back to Bob’s abduction?
  15. Why did they try to trick us that the Terminus people were going to Washington D.C.? Why the fuck are Greene and Morgan next to each other as counties in Georgia on the map? Why is there a 'green route’ on the map (and written on the walls in Clear as a result of Morgan’s 'prophetic’ breakdown)? All this stuff about the map, all of this jumping between different geographical locations and suddenly rushing through them or suddenly destroying the reasons to travel to them, and many of the suspicious things in the episode Clear that can be associated with the geography of the storyline and have even, in some cases, already been predicted and come true.
  16. “Adreamersvisual” behind Daryl. First link = image, and my original post. Second link = Prim’s amazing summary of the discussion it led to between us and another blogger. 
  17. All of the symbolism in Pine Vista, the name of the golfing/country club Daryl and Beth explore in Still.
  18. Making Beth look obviously older. 
  19. Having her almost raped (and possibly sexually assaulted off-screen and not showing it to us) and her family never knowing she protected herself. Using rape/sexual assault at all (especially in regards to Carl) and never fully addressing it.
  20. Her never ever using her tracking skills, even though we were told she would be using them in Season 5.
  21. Gale Ann Hurd’s “cure” comment. (It’s taking me too long to find the link, but I’ll edit it in if I do find it. She said something along the lines of 'you have to go back to the city, because no one’s going to come up with the cure in the rural sticks of Georgia.’)
  22. My trinity theory, specifically why their names mean what they mean (first links to my trinity theory tag, second link to the first post about it).
  23. Specifically, how Rick’s chest wound, Daryl’s scars on his back, and Beth’s scars on her wrist all = wounds Christ suffers while he’s nailed to the cross. 
  24. How Beth is the cross Daryl carries.
  25. Morgan and Gorman are anagrams of each other.
  26. How Beth and Daryl are symbolically married but we’ve had no verbal or explicitly clear confirmation of how intense their feelings are for each other.
  27. Up the Wolves/Wolves Not Far. 
  28. All of the overwhelming evidence that the funeral home was a trap.
  29. How we were never actually granted a truly unobscured view of Daryl’s mainpain over her death. Related to that, how we were never actually granted a good reunion that was marketed to us for, what, 8 months? Almost a year?
  30. The parallels in the episode Indifference to Still, and the green sign behind Daryl in Indifference.
  31. How I know FOR A FACT they use foreshadowing throughout the entire show, weaved in every character’s story, not only in things related to Beth.
  32. This show was not supposed to be about soulmates and then they made Daryl and Beth into soulmates, whether you want to describe them as romantic soulmates or just friends, they were clearly other parts of each other’s puzzle and they clearly needed each other.
  33. I’m pissed off that Daryl truly believed that THIS time he’d save someone, and for the third time, after trying to save Sophia and trying to save Merle, he failed. Why are they obsessed with having him regress? Because I am OVER IT. I am OVER him connecting so close to others and caring so much about their survival and making it the goal closest to his heart only to have his heart broken constantly. I am over this. I don’t want him to deeply connect to anyone from this point on because it just seems to sentence them to his failure to save them. I am sick and tired of him being jerked around and I refuse to support it by tuning in. I refuse to convict NR to constantly playing a sad kicked starving puppy. Daryl says, “Just tired of losing people” to the second person it was hardest for him to lose (NR says that Merle’s death and Beth’s death affected him the most out of anyone they’ve lost, not Sophia or Shane or Hershel or Andrea or Carol’s banishment– Merle and Beth’s deaths). Y'know Daryl? I’m tired of watching you lose people.
  34. Whether she resurrects or not, I will not let go of how awful Coda was (a statement backed up by almost every review of Coda– just look at the plotholes). I still firmly do not believe Beth would have done any of the things she was written to do, particularly the hallway scene. She could have been shot in a more creative and more meaningful way. She could have been shot actually being heroic, for example by jumping in front of a bullet, rather than “accidentally” being shot by Dawn. And if they wanted it to seem futile– if they wanted it to be 'cutting someone down in an unexpected way’ and in a way that leaves Team Family with 'no hope,’ they should have had her shot while jumping down the elevator shaft. They should have had a shootout, Beth needed to run– she ran to the elevator shaft, Dawn pursued, Daryl followed, and then Dawn shot her as she was standing in front of the elevator shaft, Beth fell down, Daryl SAW. All of the same elements in the hallway would have happened without writing her as making a stupid fucking retaliation with Polly Pocket scissors. Even if she comes back, anti-Beth people will be able to shit-talk her decision to use those scissors. Even if she comes backs, that choice will undermine her forever. And I’m not ok with that. I’m not ok with giving misogynist viewers who hate feminine characters and look for any chance to tear them down the means to do so, and to hand that over to them so fucking easily.
  35. I’m not ok with the fact that her mistake leads to her death, but the white male characters make millions of mistakes and never die. How about when Rick fell asleep in a house where he was left by himself? How about when Carl goaded those walkers, tripped, and had three fall on top of him while he frantically reached for his gun and shot? How about when Daryl cornered himself in a basement? How about when Daryl decided to hang out with the wrong crowd and got the shit beat out of him? How about the insurmountable odds of that entire confrontation with claimer Joe’s group? I’m sick and tired of female characters being degraded and manipulated into making bad decisions that lead to their deaths, but the men are constantly wiley and lucky enough to escape their bad decisions, which teaches casual viewers that women are inherently less equipped to survive while men are just badasses who do everything right.
  36. BONUS: All of the crazy and explicit parallels with RICK GRIMES’ storyline.

Between the excitement of the first date and the bitter end of the episode and the fear of what’s a head, I feel like we forgot to stop for a second and appreciate the fact that we’ve made it! And by we I mean Emma (we were only waiting for it to finally happen).

I posted the first gif from 206 above Emma’s in love face from 404 because it really symbolize the long road it took to get to where we are now. In that moment on “Thallahassee” we realized for the first time how far Emma would go to keep love out of her life. She would chain a man down because he threatens to enter her heart.

From this point on we saw Emma constantly struggling against her own fears. If it was the fear of trusting a man after everything Neal did to her, the fear of losing someone she cares about, or even her constantly reminder that she is the savior and she doesn’t get a day off.

This date for Emma meant so much more then just to have a good time, it was about “being there” for the first time in her entire life. It was about stop running from love and embracing its present inside her.

This is what the second gif is about. Emma is in love with Hook for a very long time, but this night was the first time she truly gave in to it. She let herself get lost in the moment and when it was over she had this one little second (before Mary Margaret spooked the hell out of her) where she realized how happy it made her. Finally.

The focus on this date was definitely Hook’s hand, but the effort it took Emma to get to this point is noticeable all over her face during it. You could really see her going against her nature, letting her be “all in” without running away and at the end it made her feel truly peaceful and truly happy.

There’s no doubt we are still not in the “happily ever after” phase for those two, but I think we can take a second there to recognize this achievement and be truly proud of Emma Swan. She made it there with the help of her pirate, but also with a lot of self-work.