because buffy is me

Kendra’s death was so frustrating. There was no mourning. And I guess that makes sense, because the only person she had a real connection to was Buffy and Buffy had a lot of other things to deal with, and then we didn’t her for months so we don’t know if she mourned. 

But still, she was a good character and it’s like her death had no weight other than to raise the stakes (I tried to find a way to word that that didn’t make a fucking stupid pun but I couldn’t) which they didn’t really need to do, because Jenny was already dead and Angelus is intense all on his own, and to bring Faith into the picture. 

She didn’t get to have her own character development and problems, really. It was always about being a mirror to Buffy and furthering other plots/characters and that’s just unfortunate because Kendra’s got so much potential. 


btvs rewatch ✞ 2x22 Becoming Part 2

Never Leave Me - original basement scene - Spuffy <3

This is so much more in depth, and so much more like what I think Spuffy really is about.

Do you have any idea what I’m capable

She starts to understand what he’s saying, grows somber.     

BUFFY(nodding) I was in the cellar with you. I saw what you did.      

I’m not talking about the cellar.
The people in the cellar      got off
easy. I’m talking about me.
See, you don’t know me. You only met
hamstrung-Angel-Spike. You only met      
You never met the real me.

Believe me, I’m well aware what
you’re capable of.      

You got off easy, too.
Do you know how      much blood you can
drink from a girl before she’ll die?
I      do.
See, the trick is, if you drink just
enough… if      you damage them just
enough… you can keep them alive for      
You can make yourself a plaything.

Spike steps forward until the chains are taut.        

SPIKE (cont’d) I used to set up shop in their houses… I used to be so good at it – I knew how to damage them just enough so that they could still cry when      I…pause) Because it wasn’t worth it if they couldn’t cry.      

Something is playing with you, Spike.
This isn’t your fault. You’re not  doing this.      

I already did it. It’s already done.
Do you know what I used to do to
girls Dawn’s age?

He rattles her.      

SPIKE (cont’d) This is me, Buffy You have to kill me before I get out.      

We can keep you locked up. Give us

time and we      can –      

Have you ever stopped to think about
why you can’t kill me?
After everything I’ve done? To you.
To the people around you.
Have you ever wondered why you keep
me alive?
It’s not love, we both know that.      

You fought by my side. You’ve saved
lives, helped –      

Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t
rationalize this into some noble act.
You don’t get to do that.

He paces back and forth (as much as he can in the chains.) He falls in      and out of shadow.     

SPIKE (cont’d) We both know the truth, you and I.      

He falls into full shadow.     

SPIKE (cont’d) You like bad men.      

He begins to pace again.      

 SPIKE (cont’d) I don’t mean troubled men. I don’t mean brooding men.  (pause) I mean, you like men who hurt you.      


You need the pain we cause you. You
need the violence      inside. You need
the hate.
It gives you the      strength to do what
you have to do. To be the      Slayer.
But it’s killing you.    

You don’t have any idea what you’re
talking about.      

You have to let it go.

Spike RAGES at his chains.      

SPIKE (cont’d) You have to kill me.(pause) I am destroying everything around you. I am killing off every piece of you that is good and pure. (pause) And in the end, after everything is gone and you have nothing else… I will come for you and I will –      

I don’t hate myself, Spike. Not      
You think you have insight now
because your      soul’s drenched in
blood? You don’t know me.

BUFFY (cont’d) You don’t even know you. Was that you who killed those people in the cellar? Was that you who waited for those girls? Was that you who tried to rape me?      

SPIKE There’s no one else –      

BUFFY You’re not alive because of pain. You’re not alive because of hate. You’re alive because I saw you change. I see your penance.      

SPIKE Window dressing.

Buffy gets close enough to him so that when he strains as hard as he can against his chains (as he will when he says his next lines) he’s only inches away from being able to touch her.     

BUFFY There’s a man in there underneath that monster. A man      who – even when he had no soul –      

SPIKE – It’s window dressing –      

BUFFY – struggled to find redemption. You’re alive because I know he’s in there –     

SPIKE – I’m killing you –      

BUFFY – and I believe in the man he can be.


btvs appreciation week • day two - favourite pairing or friendship: spike & joyce
      ↪ “Joyce was the only one of the lot of you that I could stand.”

Happy 20th Buffy The Vampire Slayer!

Today is Buffy The Vampier Slayers 20th Anniversary! It’s amazing to me that 20 years has past since I first watched this show and yet… I haven’t aged a day!

I jest. Buffy The Vampire Slayer was more than a television show to me. It examined life, love, loss, sacrifice, friendship, selflessness, triumph, defeat and family in a way I’ve never seen before. I fell in love with the humor, snappy banter, pop culture references, action and emotional depth. I connected to it on a deeper level. I felt like Buffy was me, because in a way, she was all of us. I fell in love with Angel the way she did. I relied on Giles the way she did. I laughed a long with Xander the way she did. I trusted Willow the way she did. I loved to hate Spike the way she did. I secretly admired Cordelia the way she did.

Plus, the vampires went “Poof!” and it was nifty. 

Buffy was an iconic, strong female character for 16 year old me and I have found she remains that way for 35 year old me. I’ve discovered that the lessons Buffy taught me in my youth, still hold true in my adulthood. Perhaps the clothing it out of date, and the technology is woefully past its prime, but Buffy the Vampire Slayer will always be timeless to me for this reason. I will love this show for another 20 years… and to the end of my days.

Sort of random, but having Willow Rosenberg be lesbian is not bisexual erasure.

The assumption that lesbians never express any attraction to men, never try to fit in as heterosexual, never have any genuine feelings about men is extremely simplistic and completely false.

Willow was huge for me because I was watching Buffy around the time I came out as lesbian, and having Willow express “gay now” despite her crush on Xander, her history with Oz, and saying Giles had a sexy voice was a big thing for me.

But over the years I have seen a lot of attempts at lesbian erasure in attempts to claim Willow as a bisexual. Like at the time one of the few positive (until the sixth season, anyway) portrayals of a lesbian woman was being attacked because calling her such was somehow stealing from bisexuals.

And all I can say is that at the time I was pretty starved for lesbian portrayals. I remember a webcomic author who told me he didn’t see any point to including a lesbian character because he already had a gay dude (more than one, actually) in his strip and that’s all the representation necessary.

And I do not see any problem with wanting bisexual representation (and there’s a heck of a lot more now than there was 15 years ago), or even seeing parallels in Willow’s experiences, but Willow was “gay now” and not bisexual. Her history mirrors the history of actual lesbian women, including myself. It’s not impossible for a lesbian to have ever had relationships with men, or wanted relationships with men. Why? Because compulsory heterosexuality and heteronormativity demands it. Not in all cases, but certainly enough.

Once I was 30 Years Old

Summary: Phil’s 30th birthday brings a flood of growing up-related anxieties, much to his dismay. Dan, however, knows just how to fix it: by recreating the day they met, swapping out Manchester for London–and with a surprise Phil never sees coming.

Word Count: 4.4k

Genre: Fluffy angst

Extra tags: Comfort, domestic

Warnings: Some anxiety/worry? Otherwise none

Read on ao3

A/N: Okay, I know it’s not actually Phil’s birthday yet, but I really, really wanted to use this idea and I just couldn’t wait. I hope you enjoy this giant fluff-fest, it made me really happy to write!

Keep reading

BtVS/ASoIaF: BtVSCharacters & House Mottos (Part 1)

Buffy Summers - House Tully

Spike- House Targaryen

Angel - House Stark

Cordelia Chase - House Lannister

Willow Rosenberg - House Baratheon


Y’know what I see in this scene? I see myself at age fifteen, spouting off the same conservative rhetoric I heard from my dad (and from Fox News, which he had on all the time). I was raised in an environment where “Christian” automatically meant “conservative.” Everything I heard from every authority figure, from everyone I considered a role model, pretty much amounted to that. So I started to buy into it. I started repeating what I heard from everyone around me, and for a while I might have even believed it, because that was all I knew. And because there was always the subtle implication that if you believed any different, it was only because you had been “brainwashed by the liberal media” or “corrupted by the world’s influence.”

That’s what’s going on with Wesley here. He’s spent his whole life around Watchers. He’s been raised to think like they do. The other Watchers hate Giles, so of course Wesley has only heard negative things about him. Of course he’s heard that Giles is too strongly attached to his Slayer, Giles is an embarrassment to the Council, Giles isn’t qualified for the job anymore, blah blah blah. And Wesley buys into that line of thinking because the Council can’t be wrong, can they? Surely all these people Wesley looks up to must know what they’re talking about, mustn’t they?

This is really the only time you see him being blatantly disrespectful of Giles. Over the next few episodes, as Wesley works with him and gets to know him, he begins to change his attitude. He realizes there’s more to Giles than the awful things the other Watchers have said about him. He realizes that Giles’ attachment to Buffy is a strength, not a weakness. Once Wesley gets away from the direct influence of the Council and has the chance to experience the world firsthand and think for himself, he begins to change his ways of thinking.

This is probably Wesley’s most obnoxious moment, and I’m not saying it was okay for him to be such a jackass. I’m just saying I understand why. I get it, because I’ve been there.