because better gifs

8

Earlier in my career, I used to look at other actors and maybe steal a move here or there, but as I have gotten older, I prefer releasing the idiosyncratic quality that every single person has. That is truly interesting. In the pursuit of pretending and making things seem real, what is really interesting is watching somebody on camera or on stage releasing things that only they could. That is really beautiful.

You know what normal healthy people do when they are eating a meal and start to feel full up?

They STOP EATING.

Let’s repeat that; when you start to get full, you PUT THE FORK DOWN.

THAT is the only guaranteed way to lose weight, reduce your calorie intake.

Gluttony is not a disability, and as a physically disabled person myself I resent the implication that having a medical issue is an excuse to give up trying to improve yourself. No matter what problems you may have, you can always do something to lose weight. The first and most important step is REDUCE your Calorie intake; you can still eat what you like, just eat less of it. Moderation is the key.

Oh, but that would mean taking responsibility for yourself and making an effort….it’s so much easier to pretend that it is “genetics” or “conditions” that keep you obese, right fat people?

Or that the only reason people are repulsed by you is they are being brainwashed by “the media”, not the fact that a vast majority of the human beings on this planet find wobbly, cellulite-ridden, stretch-marked flesh hanging out for all to see absolutely revolting. (That’s without mentioning what it says about your character and personality too). If you do not have the will-power to stop gorging yourself YOU are the only person to blame when you are viewed in a negative way.

I have no respect for anyone that has no respect for themselves and THAT is why I will continue to fight fat acceptance.

So, hate me, accuse me of “oppressing the obese”, of being a bigot, of being “ableist” whatever, I could not give a flying fuck. I will not stand idly by while impressionable youngsters are manipulated into committing slow suicide via the use of blatant lies and misinformation, all under the pretense of being encouraged to “love themselves”. I am a parent myself and I will not be silenced. If that hurts some people’s feelings, so be it.

Besides, I would love someone to explain to me how if you really, truly love yourself and your body, why on Earth would you push it to beyond its capabilities by making it cope with extra weight that it is not designed to carry? That doesn’t sound like love, it sounds like abuse…

When anyone tries to tell me how much better education was “in the good old days”.

Here’s a little test/preview for what the fake Yoshiko dating sim is gonna be like ヾ( ̄◇ ̄)ノ

Please note that I might not actually use this scenario in the final version. 
unless people really like it and would wanna see what the options lead to then i might 

The decision to go with Armin’s more subtle approach was unanimous.

anything that is beautiful
people want to break
and you are beautiful
i’m afraid

I Can’t Wait to Hear You Scream PT. 23

Summary: More of Negan’s thoughts and how well you’re holding up in Randy’s care.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“..And you, you better run because I’m going to destroy you for what you’ve taken from me.” - Samantha Young

“I don’t like it, but my hands are tied. I just want you to know this: if I ever get the chance to betray you, I will. If the opportunity arises to pay you back, I’ll take it. You’ll never be able to trust me.” - Darren Shan

“I will hurt you for this. I don’t know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you’ll know the debt is paid.” - George R.R. Martin

-

*Negan’s perspective*

He entered the room with Dwight by his side.

He pulled up a nearby chair.

“What’s the deal?” Negan asked the doctor as he sat down beside Arat’s bed.

Dr. Michael’s turned from front the sink he was at and leaned against the counter, “It was a close call for her. Luckily, the bullet went through clean - No shattering. Her biggest problem was blood loss. But she’s going to be fine.”

Negan nodded as he was lost in his own thoughts, many questions were unanswered, especially as to where you were.

“Well, how fuckin’ soon will she be able to talk? (Y/N) wasn’t found.” He asked, narrowing his eyes.

The doctor crossed his arms as he looked to her, “Whenever she wakes up she can, but that might be a while. I gave her sedatives so I could clean and stitch up the wound.”

Negan sucked his teeth, getting angry again.
He didn’t have time to wait, but knew he didn’t have a choice.
No amount of anger or threats could make her wake up and talk any faster.

He nodded and looked to Dwight, “Tell me every fuckin’ thing you know.”

Dwight was leaning against the wall near the bed, he looked nervous as usual when being questioned by Negan.

“We don’t know much else. We found her out there, and all of her weapons had been taken. Maybe it was an ambush.” Dwight said.

Negan gritted his teeth. If it was an ambush, then there was no telling who it was.
It wasn’t any secret that there were groups Negan had gained control over that were less than happy with him for taking their shit.

“If it’s any of those goddamn people from Alexandria..” Negan said angrily.

He had a scowl on his face that seem as if it would never go away, and Dwight and the Dr. Michael’s saw it.

“I’ll notify you as soon as she wakes up.” Michael’s said quickly, trying his best to reassure Negan.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ better, doc.” Negan growled as he stood up, slinging the chair to the other side of the room.

He walked out with Dwight trailing behind him.

“What do you wanna do now?” Dwight asked cautiously.

“I’m fuckin’ thinkin’ of that, D. So far, I’m thinkin’ it’s either Rick and his fuckin’ people or Randy.” Negan growled back to him.

“We’ll find her.” Dwight said plainly.

“She better be fuckin’ found in one piece. Because there’s no goddamn alternative to this. You think you’ve seen brutality before, Dwight? You really don’t wanna fuckin’ see what’ll happen if she’s dead.” Negan said in a calm tone, but his face told a different story.

Dwight looked scared as Negan glared over to him, and he nodded back slowly.

“Stay with Arat and when she wakes up, you fuckin’ call me. She better fuckin’ know something.” He said as he headed off to the cells.

And he meant every word of it.
He wanted you back here and he wanted you to be alive, although he didn’t wanna say that he was worried.
He knew that you knew how to handle yourself, he just hoped that wherever you were, you were safe.
He knew what he needed to do next, It was time to pay a fucking visit to Vernon.

*(Y/N)’s perspective*

After Mark got taken out of the room, one of the men came back with a length of chain and you were held down yet again as Randy chained you up like a rabid dog.
He ran the chain around your midsection tightly a few times before locking it to you and then chaining you to a pipe that went up the stone wall of the building.

Randy stood back as he admired his handywork, “Maybe if you start being nice, I’ll let you out of those.”

You wanted to say something smart, but you knew it was better if you didnt.
All you could do was glare back at him.

“Hmm, no answer? That’s okay. To be honest, I kinda like you better like this.” He smirked.

“It makes more sense just to kill me.” You said bluntly as you looked up to him.

“Does it now?” He asked.

“Yeah, because this can’t go on forever. I mean, you’ll be found eventually and once I’m out of here, I’m not sure if you should be more worried about Negan or me.”

He smiled big and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, “You’re a hell of a fighter, I’ll give you that. You busted up Mark pretty good. But I’m not the one that’s gonna die.”

“Then fucking kill me already.” You growled.

“No. I’d rather keep you around, so I can make you watch me kill Negan, then I’ll kill you.”

You clenched your jaw as he threatened Negan.
You walked up to him as far as you could, until you felt the hard tug of the chain as it restricted you from approaching him any further, you were an arms length away from him.

“Did I upset you?” He said with another smug smile.

“Come closer and you can find out.” You said, leaning on the chain.

Randy smirked and started to turn around to head back when you kicked your foot out, with it just barely landing in Randy’s back.
He stumbled and caught himself against the wall.

“Goddamnit. Are you ever gonna fucking learn?” He shouted angrily and he backhanded you hard across the face, busting your lip in the process.

You fell to the ground and drug yourself back against the wall, wiping the blood from your lip.
He stood there looking over you furiously and his fists were clenched together tightly.
For a second, you thought he was going to beat you to death, but it still didn’t scare you.
He grunted and turned, heading back out of the door, leaving you in the darkened room once again.
You didn’t say anything else, although you wanted to yell at the top of your lungs and tell him how much of a pussy he was that he wouldn’t even fight you, but you had to choose your battles wisely.

You slumped against the ground, hearing the clinking of the chain with every move you made.

*Negan’s persepctive*

He walked down the long corridor leading up to where he was keeping Vernon for time being.
Negan kicked in the door to the room, not wasting anything time.
Vernon jumped as he saw him standing in the doorway.

“It’s about to be your lucky fuckin’ day.” Negan said.

Negan turned the lights to the inside of the room on and he could see the side of Vernon’s face where he had burned him with the red-hot iron.
Negan smiled to himself as he looked at the disfigured face of the man, it made him more satisfied now to look at it, since this was someone who was associated with Randy.

‘If that fucker is the one that has (Y/N) he’s gonna fuckin’ regret it.’ He thought calmly.

“That looks pretty fuckin’ nasty. Bet you wish you’d cooperated, huh?” Negan said to Vernon with a smile creeping across his face.

Vernon glared back at him and turned his head.

“Let’s see how well I can fuckin’ trust you now. I’ve got a few questions for you and you better fuckin’ answer them.” Negan growled back to him.

Vernon turned his head towards Negan and shrugged, “What?”

“(Y/N) is missing and I have a pretty good goddamn idea of who did it. Now I’ll ask you this once: where is Randy?” Negan said in an intimidating tone.

Vernon kept looking at him and finally shook his head, “He could be anywhere.”

Negan gave a soft smile and reached down to his side to pull out the large hunting knife.
He looked down at it to see that it still had Spencer’s blood on it, now dried in a shade of maroon around the blade.
Vernon saw it too as his eyes widened as he looked at it, he was finally starting to see that Negan was serious about things, especially after the iron.

“You really don’t wanna fuck with me right now. So, I suggest you wrack that fuckin’ hillbilly brain of yours and give me something good.” Negan said as he knelt down in front of him, gripping the knife handle tightly.

Vernon scooted himself back against the wall, trying to get further away from Negan and the knife.

“Look, I told you the last time I saw him was when he came to my group. He gave us those guns and he was gone again.” Vernon said, his breathing getting heavier.

Negan gritted his teeth and ran a free hand over his clean face, “Then tell me something else, where the fuck could he possibly be? I’m running out of the goddamn patience here.”

Vernon stuttered for a moment, not being able to talk out of fear.

“I- the- the only place I can think of is the first place we ever really stayed when this shit started with the dead ones.”

“Where the fuck is it then!?” Negan said, his deep voice getting louder and more frustrated as time went on.

“It’s- it’s a couple miles out. It was a small warehouse type deal. Shit man, that’s the only place I can really think of, I swear.” Vernon said nervously.

Negan was holding the knife closer and closer to him.
He wasn’t sure whether to believe Vernon or not, but once he got some answers from Arat about what was going on, then he would make a definite move.
Negan wanted you back, because you were his, but he wasn’t going to risk his men all at once sending them on a wild fucking goose chase to something that might not exist.

Negan gave another smile, “Thank you, Vernon. You’ve been most fuckin’ helpful to me.”

Negan stood back up and walked over to the door before he turned back, “I’m thinking about giving you a fuckin’ break. Why don’t you come out and get some fuckin’ food or something.”

“Why?” Vernon said, eyeing him.

Negan shrugged, “I fuckin’ told you, you’ve been helpful. So, get the fuck up.”

Vernon nodded slowly and pulled himself up from the ground and walked over to Negan.

Negan opened the door and started to walk out as Vernon was following behind him.
As they were exiting, Dwight came running up to him.

“Arat’s starting to wake up!” Dwight yelled, motion for Negan to come.

Negan nodded at him, “I’m gonna need you to fuckin’ stay here and clean up this damn mess, Dwight.”

Dwight raised and eyebrow in confusion and looked around not understanding what Negan meant, but also not questioning him.

Negan threw his arm around Vernon’s shoulder and began walking with him, “Yeah, things are gonna work out pretty fuckin’ well for you, I think.. But there is a fuckin’ problem.”

“What’s that?” Vernon asked.

Negan turned to stand in front of him and looked down somberly, “The problem, Vernon, is that I still don’t fuckin’ trust you. I mean, you see how goddamn easily I just lied to you, right?”

Vernon breathed heavily, “Lied about what?”

Negan licked his lips and looked at him seriously, “About shit working out for you.”

And suddenly, the knife was in Vernon’s abdomen.
He gasped as Negan shoved it deeper into his stomach all the way up to the handle.
Negan could hear the gasps from Vernon and feel the warmness of the blood as it spilled out all over his arm and down to the groumd, creating the mess he was just talking about.
Negan gave Vernon a wicked smile as he watched his eyes begin to go blank.

“Your usefulness has run it’s fuckin’ course. And I just flat out don’t fuckin’ like you. But this one is for (Y/N), you motherfucker.” Negan growled to him, shoving the knife in deeper as he wrapped a hand around Vernon’s neck.

He forced the knife upward, slicing Vernon like a hog and he let him fall to the ground, he coughed and he choked on his on blood.
Dwight watched on at what he was doing and every now and again turned his head away, like he couldn’t handle what he was watching.
Negan could tell that Dwight now understood what he had meant when he told him that he didn’t want to know what would come next.
Dwight was getting a small taste of how brutal Negan really could be, and with you missing, Negan was at a point where he’d kill anyone that got in his way of tracking you down, starting with Vernon.

Negan wiped the bloody blade off on his pants, along with his bloody hands.
He finally returned the knife to it’s sheath at his side.

He whistled, snapping his fingers in Dwight’s direction.

Dwight turned quickly, giving him his full attention.

Negan pointed down to Vernon’s now lifeless body, the blood still pouring out of him, “Like I said, Dwight.. Clean this fuckin ’ shit up.”

He gave one last look to Vernon’s body before he turned and walked away, heading off to the infirmary to see what kind of information he could get out of Arat.

Negan stepped into the room where Arat was and the doctor was now standing over her checking her with a stethoscope that always hung around his neck.
She was starting to come to and was very groggy, but alert as to her surroundings.
Michael’s leaned back up and saw Negan standing there, waiting rather impatiently.

“Negan wants to speak with you.” He said to Arat as he grabbed a clipboard off the counter and exited the room.

Negan walked up to the side of her bed, where she looked back up to him weakly.

“Negan, I’m sorry..” She spoke softly.

“Don’t fuckin’ worry about it. We have bigger problems, Arat. I need to know what happened and I need to fuckin’ know now.” He said trying to keep his anger down.

She swallowed hard, “We went out and we got attacked.”

“How fuckin’ far?” Negan said back quickly.

“About a mile.” She said back in a raspy tone.

Maybe Vernon hadn’t been completely fuckin’ dishonest, he had said the place Randy might be was a couple miles away from her.
But Negan didn’t feel any remorse for killing him, he had planned on killing him at some point anyway and he got all the information he needed from that fucker.

“Well, who the fuck did it, Arat? That’s the goddamn million dollar question.” Negan said, slamming a fist against a wall.

Arat blinked and looked up at him nervously, like she was scared to say.

“Arat!” Negan shouted suddenly.

She sighed and turned her head to him, “It was Randy and some other men he’s with.”

Negan bit his lip hard and nodded his head angrily.
he was going back into being so angry that he was almost calm, but he felt a rage coursing through him that he didn’t know if he’d be able to control much longer.

“Are you going after her?” Arat asked suddenly.

“More than that. I’m gonna kill every- single- one- of those fuckers.” He growled putting emphasis on killing Randy and his men.

He glared back at Arat, wanting to blame her for the whole fucking situation but didn’t bother to waste his time on it and he left out of the room quickly.
He had so much running through his mind that he didn’t know where to start.
First thing he was going to do was get Lucille then gather his men up and go out and search for the place, and fucking hope that they would find you in time.

Negan was now in a killing mood and nothing was going to stop him.

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