because as much as she respected and loved him HE WAS STILL ONLY LIVING TO TROLL EVERYONE

The life and times of Hatake Kakashi, the long-suffering jōnin-sensei

Belated birthday present for @cywscross. I thought this would cheer you up and also maybe shake you out of your funk since it’s not steter ^^U. On that note tho, my original b-day fic was steter but that will probably never see the light of day XD.

Kakashi is being trolled. He doesn’t know how that can be, but he knows with utmost certainty that he’s being trolled somehow.

It started when he went to pick his hopefully (not) future team on a beautiful Monday morning -Er… afternoon? He was really late after all… Oops?- and he got greeted by an eraser to the head and his three blank faced (not) cute future mini baby ninja.

““How sad,” duck-butt hair, Uchiha Sasuke, says.

“Maybe he’s hurt or something?” pinky, Haruno Sakura, says with wide open baby deer eyes. “So sorry, sensei!”

(Kakashi is pretty sure she’s not.)

“Still sad,” Sasuke sneers.

“See why I told you no kunai?” She frowns at blondie… whom is completely out of it and actually snoring face down in his desk.

“Wha-” said blondie, Uzumaki Naruto, blurts out as he startles awake when she slaps him on the back of his head. “Oh, it… worked? How sad.”

“Naruto!” she scolds him horrified, shooting a worried look at Kakashi.

(Again, Kakashi is pretty sure she’s neither horrified nor worried.)

“Exactly,” Sasuke agrees, ignoring her.

“My first impression of you…” Kakashi finally speaks, earning their full attention. “How should I put this?” He feigns thinking about it for a second. “I hate you. I’ll meet you at the rooftop in a minute.”

“I think my heart just broke,” he hears Sasuke deadpan he hears Sasuke deadpan as his shunshin carries him away in a whirl of leaves.

They take forever to get to the rooftop. So much so, in fact, that Kakashi considers looking for them, but they show up before he makes up his mind.

“Ah, sorry sensei,” Sakura apologizes demurely. “We got waylaid on our way.”


“Secret mission for the good of Konoha! That cockroach couldn’t go on living!” Naruto exclaims boisterously.


“A really big one,” Sakura explains earnestly.

Sasuke, who has remained blank faced and silent since they reached the rooftop, simply nods.

“Right,” Kakashi says, inwardly questioning how the hell did these idiots pass the initial cut. Then he remembers that nowadays they only have to pass a couple of exams and moves on. It’s not like he will have to bear much more with them anyways, because after tomorrow’s test they will be toast. “Ok, why don’t you introduce yourselves?”

“An introduction?” Sakura inquires unsure. “What should we say?”

“Your likes, dislikes, dreams and hobbies,” Kakashi explains. “Mah, something like that.”

“Ano sa, ano sa,” Naruto intervenes. “Why don’t you go first, sensei?”

“Me?” Both Naruto and Sakura nod in unison while Sasuke remains silent and seemingly uninterested. For a second Kakashi has the strong feeling that he’s being teased somehow but he can’t quite put the finger on why he does. “My name is Hatake Kakashi. I have no intentions of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream… I have few hobbies.”

They share a grin. Well, Sasuke smirks, but still, color Kakashi confused.

“My name is Uzumaki Naruto,” the blond plunges in before he can dwell on it. “I love ramen and…” He blushes and grins. Sakura giggles and Sasuke looks heavenward as if asking for patience. “I hate the three minutes that it takes the cup of ramen to be ready and cockroaches. My hobby is eating, training and experimenting.” Both Sakura and Sasuke visibly shudder at the last one. Interesting. “My dream is to become Ho-” Sakura coughs something that sounds suspiciously like council and Kakashi would swear that Sasuke murmurs paperwork. Naruto pales dramatically. “-nored and respected in this village and someone that can protect his precious people.”

“Next?” Kakashi motions smoothly as if he hasn’t noticed anything.

“I’m Haruno Sakura,” she chirps sweeter than candy. Kakashi can already feel the cavities forming. “I love relaxing with a cup of tea and some sweets, training and …” She blushes and fidgets. Naruto giggles and Sasuke looks heavenward again. “I hate idiots and cockroaches. My hobby is baking and cooking in general.” Both boys shudder dramatically, becoming pale as chalk, and she rolls her eyes. “My dream is to protect my precious people.”


“My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like some things,” the peanut gallery giggles and Sasuke looks heavenward for the third time, “and dislike a lot more, especially cockroaches. My hobby is…” He rolls his eyes and the other two giggle again. “My dream is to restore my clan’s honor and to fulfill my duty to my family.”

Kakashi was supposed to get the bookworm fangirl, the prankster hokage-wannabe and the acerbic avenger and he feels cheated because he only got one half of the deal. Either the academy instructors are shit at information gathering or he’s being trolled by three kids.

“Well, you three have very different personalities. I like it!” Kakashi announces after a second of awkward silence. “Tomorrow we go on a mission.” No reaction. “But before that we will do some survival training, because out of the twenty-seven academy graduates, only nine will remain.” Still no reaction besides a nod. Kakashi gives it up as a loss and pouts inwardly because they have taken the only fun this whole situation has. “We’ll meet at 5 A.M. Come prepared and don’t have breakfast or you’ll regret it.”

So it started this morning (afternoon) and it continues now. Normally one of the beauties of being forced to evaluate hopeful genins is to scare them the day before. But not only they didn’t even react to his announcement of their genin title still being pending, but they are sleeping like rocks.

Kakashi is really confused.

Then he remembers he didn’t actually tell them where they would be meeting tomorrow and he shrugs. It will be as good a time as any other to test their tracking skills… and perseverance, of course, because he isn’t planning to get there until several hours later.

(Serves the cheeky brats right.)

They are waiting for him at the correct training ground and for a moment Kakashi thinks that maybe he did tell them where to meet? But no, he has a pretty good memory and he’s sure he didn’t. But then again, he always does this test here, with the memorial stone right at hand in case the impossible happens and he passes a team so…

He sighs. They really are taking all the fun from this, dammit, and for a moment he considers going to a different ground, but in the end he decides against it.

He observes them for a moment before showing himself, though. Sakura is talking to Sasuke, voice soft and relaxed, and he occasionally answers back, equally soft. No sight of fawning or fangirlsm on her part at all or of higher-than-thou attitude on his part. Naruto is dozing between them and neither of them seems to mind. For a moment Kakashi thinks that it may be because they want some peace that they can’t have when the hyperactive blond is up and running, but then Naruto slides down and his head comes to rest upon Sasuke’s shoulder and neither the Uchiha or Sakura bat an eye.

All right, that’s it. Either the information gathering of the academy is shit or they have been acting up until now. Kakashi is inclined towards the former after the Mizuki incident, because those kids aren’t being subtle at all and they have to know that he’s bound to show up eventually and he’ll see them. He decides here and now to forget about the reports he has about them and to start from zero in his assessment.

“Good morning, everyone!” he chirps finally deciding to show himself and eager to get this farce over so he can get on with his life. He doesn’t care if it’s the last Uchiha or not, he won’t pass them if they don’t deserve it. The Council can go hang themselves for all he cares. “Ready to start?”

“If after three hours we aren’t ready to start we deserve to be killed,” Sasuke deadpans. Then he looks towards Naruto. “Oi, dobe, time to wake up.”

“Wait, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura interjects softly before looking at Kakashi. “Are we actually going to start, sensei? I’d hate to wake him just for the sake of it.”

Ouch, Kakashi thinks, that was even sharper than Sasuke’s indirect comeback and she said it with such an angelic face that for a moment Kakashi had doubts of it being an intentional jab at all.

(Who is he kidding? It is. It totally is.)

“We’re going to actually start indeed, Sakura-chan,” he tells her plastering a fake smile in his face.

“Ah, ok,” she smiles at him unperturbed. “Ramen.”

“WHERE,” Naruto exclaims jerking awake and then tears up when there’s no ramen in sight. “That was so cruel, Sakura-chan!”

“Effective,” Kakashi mutters.

“Always,” she nods flashing a victory sign at him and Sasuke snorts. Naruto continues wailing in the background.

“Let’s get moving, shall we?” Kakashi motions to them towards a clearing. “Here are the rules,” he starts dangling the two bells in front of them before tying them up to his waist. “You have to get these from me before this alarm sounds. If you fail, you go back to the Academy, if you get them, you pass. Simple, right?”

“Sensei, you forgot one bell. There’s only two,” Sakura points out helpfully.

(Sasuke blinks and Naruto fidgets. Kakashi is pretty sure he’s missing something.)

“Only two of you will pass, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi explains, voice milder than milk, and then waits for the sweet outburst.

It never comes and he doesn’t even know why he’s even surprised at this point. They frown, they look at each other, they tilt their heads consideringly and then go back to looking at him. Then Sakura holds up her hand.

“Yes, Sakura-chan?”

“Um, sensei,” she fidgets. “Can I ask a question?”


“How do these numbers work? It doesn’t really make sense… Because you said yesterday that only nine out of the twenty-seven would pass? And that means that two people of each team should fail? And I mean, what if only one person gets the bell? And-”

“Team 7?”



“Mah, for starters, they accidentally broke the clock because Naruto’s accuracy under duress is… well, not very good. Sakura seized the opportunity and pointed out that since the alarm wouldn’t sound, they had all the time in the world to complete the mission.”


“Hmm,” Kakashi nods. “That good impression was lost afterwards, though. If it wasn’t ridiculous, I would have bet that they were competing for the honor of being tied to the pole.” Or more like Sakura and Naruto were and Sasuke had to join in because he hated losing at anything and couldn’t help himself. “Naruto won.”

“Yare, yare,” Sarutobi groans rubbing his face exasperated.

“I was going to fail them right then and there, because neither Sakura or Sasuke made a move to feed him after I forbid them to do so, but when I was about to, I noticed that Naruto had a rice grain near his mouth. I don’t know how or when, but they fed him.” Kakashi had been near the whole time and he hadn’t seen a thing. Sure, he had been reading the whole time and having his own lunch, but… “In any case, I let them try again and they finally worked together so I let Sakura get the bells. When I told them to choose…”

Sakura blinks and looks at the bells in her hands. They look at each other, they look at Kakashi. Then she comes to him, extends the hand with both bells and when he takes them, she goes back to her teammates. The three of them bow down in unison.

“Thank you for today, Hatake-san,” they chorus before turning to leave.

“I’m still hungry.”

“You’re always hungry, Naruto.”

“I’m a growing boy, Sakura-chan! Ramen?”

“We had ramen yesterday, dobe.”

“So what? Ramen is a complete meal. It has protein, carbohydrates…”



“Dobe, it’s my turn.”

“Ok, ok! Yakiniku-Q, dammit. But tomorrow-”

“It’s my turn and I want to try Shushuya.”


“Oi, you three.”

“Yes, Hatake-san?”

“Huh,” Sarutobi manages to get out.

“Huh, indeed,” Kakashi agrees and wonders if it’s too late to become a missing nin.

For two weeks, everything is relatively normal. They meet at training ground 3, Kakashi is really late and his cheeky little genin are sassy in return. They train for a while before taking on a D-Rank mission, they file the report and then go home. Rinse and repeat.

They have very interesting dynamics, Kakashi comes to find out. Sakura plays the cute innocent little girl, Naruto the boisterous idiot and Sasuke the haughty genius, and all of them do it masterfully. In reality all of them are manipulative and devious little shits to some degree or another and really protective of each other. If something happens to one of them, the other two will subtly (and/or creatively) intervene while the offended one rolls their eyes exasperatedly but fondly at the same time.

Kami help him, but he’s starting to like them, Kakashi thinks as he eyes them over the rim of his book. Just as he does so, Naruto grins deviously at Sasuke, whom just blinks in response which an equally devious glint in his eyes. Their employer’s kid appears again to ogle at Sakura where she’s bent over to reach a particularly stubborn weed that just refuses to be plucked. Before Kakashi can do anything to make the little twerp scamper, his face falls into frown and he starts absently scratching himself. He starts softly and then it evolves into a frantic scratching before he disappears inside the house again calling for his dad. Naruto and Sasuke smirk subtly and Sakura is none the wiser. After a little bit, when she apparently notices her stalker hasn’t showed up again, she looks at the boys suspiciously (both look at her as if butter won’t melt in their mouths) and then rolls her eyes.

Yes, Kakashi’s starting to like them all right.

Much later, after finishing their mission and on their way to the Hokage Tower to submit their report, a hawk flies over them a few times in circles and then leaves towards the commercial district. Kakashi frowns and edges the kids into a faster pace. He leaves them submitting their report (they have proved their capacity to do so unsupervised) and takes the stairs towards the Hokage’s office.

Turns out elder Shimura Danzō is dead.

“Poisoned,” the ANBU commander explains to the whole room. All former ANBU operatives have been recalled. There are people in this room whose face Kakashi is seeing for the first time despite having worked with them more than once. “There are no leads on that front, but there are more pressing matters to attend at this point.”

Kakashi has a feeling that he’s not going to like what comes out of the man’s mouth next.

(He doesn’t.)

It’s dark when he finally leaves the Hokage Tower. Despite having been released from service not long ago, Kakashi is sporting his mask once again because the truth is that one never stops being an ANBU (not even after retirement).

He’s been given half an hour to settle his things before undertaking a month (possibly two) long S-Rank mission with an entire platoon and as much as he’d love to have the cheeky little brats thinking he’s testing their tracking skills again (ahhhh, those were a fun couple of days) it may be pushing it a little too far in this case, so he has to inform them and at least set some kind of schedule so they don’t fall behind. It may be cruel, but the best he can do with so little forewarning is to give them a letter for Gai so that they can train at least two or three days a week with a proper sensei.

(If he comes back to see his cute little monsters clad in green spandex he will kill Gai.)

But to actually give them that letter he has to find them first. Sakura wasn’t at home and when he tried Naruto’s apartment he found it completely empty. That only leaves Sasuke and if he’s missing too, he’s going to have to leave Pakkun with both the explanation and the letter and leave.

He finally gets to the Uchiha district and to the house Sasuke is inhabiting. Last time he was here was before he tested them to become genin and it hasn’t changed much. From the rooftop of the house he wonders if he should go through the front door or just knock on the window. Before he can make up his mind, the window just below opens and Naruto’s sleepy voice comes out.

“Senseiii,” he lets out through a yawn, “stop being a creep and get inside already so I can go back to bed.”

“Mah, Naruto-kun,” Kakashi croons after letting himself fall to the windowsill, “you shouldn’t be so careless, I could have been an enemy.”

“Ehhh? But, sensei, I knew it was you,” Naruto whines rubbing his eyes.

“Mmhm,” Kakashi hums. He looks inside briefly and he spots a big futon. Sasuke is curled like a kitten around Sakura, both of them deep asleep. Well, at least that answers the question about where both Naruto and Sakura went, and if what he sees is any indication, this is a regular occurrence, so next time he’ll come here directly. “I’ll be gone on a mission for at least a month, Naruto-kun. Maybe two if things get complicated. In the meantime, you won’t be able to take missions since you don’t have a jōnin with you, but I expect you to keep training, understood?” He smiles threateningly for good measure and Naruto nods grimacing. “If you need any guidance, look in training ground 10 for Maito Gai and give him this.” He hands him the hastily scribbled letter and Naruto takes it hesitantly. If the shudder that shakes him is any indication, the blond already knows who Gai is. Kakashi’s lips twitch in amusement. “Ja ne, then. Be good or don’t get caught.”

“Wait, sensei!” Kakashi turns again to look at his student, only to see him leave the room running.

While he was talking to Naruto, both Sakura and Sasuke have woken up and are staring blearily from the futon. She disentangles from Sasuke and crawls to grab something from her backpack. She crawls towards Kakashi and without even getting from the floor she hands him a box. After he takes it, she lets herself fall to the floor and just curls there, dozing. Sasuke rolls his eyes and gets up with a sigh. He grabs a tantō and gives it to Kakashi before bending to pick up Sakura with a grunt and carrying her back to the futon.

Kakashi studies the tantō curiously. It looks like a conductive blade, which is good to start with, but it also has seals carved on the handle. Nice. As for the box, he opens it to find what looks to be homemade soldier pills. Also nice… if they actually work. He hears Naruto come back just as he closes the lid and he looks up.

“Here,” the blond says passing him a box that smells heavenly. Kakashi’s belly chooses that moment to remind him that he hasn’t had anything substantial since lunch and Naruto grins. “Don’t worry, Sasuke made them.” An aggravated grumble comes from the futon and Kakashi smiles amusedly. “Take care, sensei, and kick some ass.”

Kakashi really, really likes his cheeky little brats.

It’s a horrible month and seventeen days. Out of all the missions Kakashi has taken in his entire shinobi career, this ranks high on his top ten of the let’s-not-repeat-this-again list and his whole platoon agrees. It’s a shame that for the sake of appearances Danzō’s deeds will be forever kept secret, because more than one of them would like to cut his body into tiny little pieces just for the pleasure of seeing his blood run (now that he’s already dead and his screams can’t be heard).

The brats’ presents were more handy than he’ll ever be able to let them know. The soldier pills Sakura gave him tasted, by popular consensus, like something that crawled out of a rat’s arse to roll around pig’s shit before being peed on by a dog, but they were incredibly effective (the best he’s ever had and with none of the aftereffects) after you managed to stomach them down and he doesn’t have even one left. As for the tantō, that thing is magnificent. It conducts lightning inclined chakra like a dream and the seals on the handle make it so that the chakra escapes the blade slower than any other conductive weapon he’s ever had. It took a while to get used to the potency (he nearly fried Genma and Raidō… twice) but once he had it down? It was amazing and useful in a life-saving way.

He never thought he’d say this, but he missed his cheeky little brats and is looking forward to seeing them again.

Hopefully not clad in green spandex.

Kakashi shudders.

Kakashi is going to kill his brats.

Gai hasn’t heard of them, they are nowhere to be found and he has to learn from Anko of all people that apparently they took his order to train or else way too seriously because they have been doing survival training since he left in training ground 44.

“Damn, Hatake,” Anko crows admiringly. “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

“Mmmm?” Kakashi simply hums because he doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.

“You’re growing them up to be little monsters, aren’t you?” Anko continues. “I’ve never seen fresh genins survive the Forest of Death! What the hell are you feeding them?”

Say what.


“Mah, some hardship is good for the spirit, Gai.”

“Exactly!” Anko laughs maniacally. “They were still alive a week ago, by the way.”

He’s going to kill them.

If they aren’t already dead, he’s going to kill them.

“Do you think it’s edible?” Naruto is asking just as he finds them, pointing at a spider that’s bigger than Kakashi that he assumes they have just taken down. The three of them are filthy and covered in scratches and half-healed wounds.

“Ugh, so gross, Naruto!”

“Tch, dobe.”

“What, teme! I’m hungry!”

“You’re always hungry!”

“Why are we doing this again?”

“Because we want to make Kakashi-sensei proud?”

They totally know Kakashi is here.

“Ah, my cute little genin!” he exclaims showing himself and the three of them turn, feigning surprise. “How should I put this…”

“Kakashi-sensei, you’re back!” They exclaim happily.

“… I’m going to kill you.”



They look at each other, they look at Kakashi and they look at each other again.

They run.

Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-sama appear and close themselves with the Hokage in the man’s office for three hours straight. Sandaime-sama is seen smoking furiously at all hours after that meeting.

Kakashi wonders about it but knows better than to ask.

Over the next month he trains them until they drop in exhaustion and they also take two D-Rank missions a day until they catch up with what they would have done if Kakashi hadn’t been sent out on a mission. Secretly he’s pretty proud with how they take their punishment for their Forest of Death escapade, but he doesn’t actually say it directly. Instead, he lets them take a C-Rank.

A C-Rank that turns into a A-Rank halfway through.

“Report,’ Sarutobi says frowning.

“We encountered Kiri missing nins Gōzu and Meizu on our way to the land of waves. Team 7 performed admirably but the demon brothers fled the scene before we could take them down,” Kakashi reports dutifully. “Then we encountered another Kiri missing nin, Momochi Zabuza, and we engaged in a fight. Again, Team 7 worked together to defeat him. Before we could take him down, though, what we thought to be a hunter-nin did it and took the body away. I was suffering chakra exhaustion and lost consciousness then.” Kakashi needs to restart his serious training again, dammit, because that was embarrassing. “When I woke up I realized that the false hunter-nin had hit non-vital points and that Momochi was most probably alive.”

“So you were attacked again.”

“No. Momochi refused to engage, as well as the other missing nins. He claimed that Gatō (his employer) was dead so their contract was null and void and they left.”


“Huh, indeed,” Kakashi agrees. “We did get attacked by the rest of Gatō’s mercenaries, but between Naruto and my kage bunshins we drew them off.”

“And they named the bridge The Great Naruto Bridge?”

“Well,” Kakashi sighs, “apart from driving the mercenaries off, he did use the clones to help them finish the bridge faster.”


Kakashi is pretty sure he has missed something and he has the sudden urge to drop his brats in the Forest of Death (this time knowingly) for the next month because he remembers them waving happily at the leaving missing nins.

The chūnin exams come and Kakashi nominates his team. It seems to serve as incentive for Kurenai and Asuma to nominate their teams too but he pays it no mind.

(He’s too busy betting on his team’s favor. He’s going to make a fortune.)

“Keep your head clear and you’ll do great,” he tells them simply. “No torturing the examiners either. Remember they can fail you just because you pissed them off.”

They pout.

Cheeky little brats.

Kakashi leaves chuckling and joins the peanut gallery in the observation room. Bets are still running and when Anko assures him she bet for his team of little monsters he beams at her.

The first thing Naruto does is to hug the kazekage’s son, to his siblings’ horror. Kakashi inwardly groans and the rest of the shinobi present look at him.

“The promotion of a good relationship with our allies is key,” he says simply and Anko explodes in laughter while Gai starts shouting about the springtime of youth.

It doesn’t get better from there.

In the first exam, instead of trying to copy or answer the questions, they use the time to take out the competition. Meanwhile, Naruto doodles happily (Kakashi spots Ibiki’s caricature), Sakura paints her nails and Sasuke sharpens his kunai. When the time for the last question comes and Ibiki starts playing his mind games, Sasuke is the one to speak out to call out the bullshit in the most sarcastic way he can find. It’s even beautiful, really. Sakura and Naruto seem surprised at first (and knowing them as he does, Kakashi is pretty sure this was another of their stupid competitions like when they fought to see who got tied to the pole) but then they fight to not break out laughing.

In the second exam, they ally themselves to Suna. It’s a little bloodier than Kakashi would have liked but it gets the job done. Sandaime-sama has faced worse political nightmares than two entire teams being annihilated in an exam so Kakashi is sure that he will be able to deal with Otogakure without any problems.

They also pass the preliminaries just fine. As they leave, Naruto convinces the Suna team to go to Ichiraku’s and try their ramen.

He debates what to do for the month before the final exam and then decides to just train them to the best of his abilities. Also, Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-sama are still in town, so maybe he can convince them somehow to help. He manages and they do help. Kakashi is a little terrified about the results.

Needless to say, after the third exam is done, he finds himself with three newly minted chūnin.

Well, that was fast, Kakashi thinks with a twinge of sadness.

(He needn’t worry, though, because the brats won’t ever leave him alone, just like strange and unexplainable happenings won’t leave him alone either.)

Much time, redemption and a war later, with a world-wide shinobi alliance and as Rokudaime hokage after Tsunade left the post, Kakashi thinks. He reflects about all the unexplainable things that have happened since he became a jōnin-sensei and about their timing and he thinks huh.

“Done for the day, Hokage-sama?” Shikamaru questions when they cross paths.

“Yes, I’m having an early day. You should too, Shikamaru-kun.”

“Mah, I still have some things to finish.”

“Any urgent ones?”

“Not exactly, but-”

“Then you’re done for today. Hokage’s orders.” Kakashi smiles. “Go cloud watching.”

“Hah,” Shikamaru snorts. “I haven’t done that in a while…”


“Thanks, Hokage-sama.”

Kakashi leaves and takes the roofs towards the Uchiha district. When he arrives, he doesn’t even bother with the front door and slips through the window.

He finds Naruto lying on in his back on the futon, holding a comic book over his face. Sakura is sitting on his stomach painting her nails black and Sasuke is in front of her with her feet in his lap, painting her toenails. There are various plates of snacks within reach and they occasionally reach to take a bite.

“Hi, Kakashi-sensei,” they chorus happily but not taking their attention off of what they’re doing.

“Question time,” Kakashi chirps. “Have my cheeky little brats been time travelling?”

“Took you long enough,” Naruto grins, his eyes darting minutely towards Kakashi before returning to the page.

“How sad,” Sasuke says without even looking from Sakura’s toenails.

“Naruto, Sasuke!” she reprimands them without looking from her nails either. “So sorry, sensei.”

(No, she’s not.)

Kakashi lets out a long-suffering sigh, comes near to sit on the floor and grabs a plate. Then he unceremoniously pulls down his mask because he figures that since they have never shown any interest in finding what’s underneath, they must have seen his face already.

Gasps ensue.

“Troll Holiday” Novelization Review

Okay guys, MAJOR spoilers for the holiday special. I bought the novelization and finally caved and read it so I could write this review. Remember to buy the book yourself! Or buy the movie too when it comes out!

First off, I think this is going to be a wonderful short film to add to the Trolls canon, and fans are going to love it! Everyone’s going to see things they wanted and things they didn’t expect. The root of the story seems to be Poppy’s motivation to make the Bergens happy by giving them a new holiday. But can the Bergens find a Troll holiday to love when the two groups are so different?


Everything about this story is so cute. Poppy and Bridget are like the embodiment of “BFF Goals.” They have adorable nicknames for each other, do cool handshakes, and are overall just share this powerful bond of sister-like love.

Speaking of nicknames, Bridget calls Gristle “Grissy” and Gristle calls her “Bridgie” and “babe.” Isn’t that the cutest?!

Not only do we see Poppy and Bridget’s sisterly love, we see Branch trying to fit in as a troll. The writers seem to recognize that moviegoers fell in love with Branch’s sarcasm and satirical paranoia. We can’t have just an overly happy peppy Branch who has his colors. We need a sarcastic and mildly pessimistic Branch who has his colors. We’re going to see plenty of that and also hear his angelic voice. Win-win!

Now, Poppy’s presentation of Troll holidays is going to be messy and quite over-the-top, based on what I read. It’s going to be hilarious and possibly cringe-worthy to watch, but it’s still perfectly in-tune with Poppy’s personality. She’s the type of partier who goes all-out and puts her heart and soul into everything she does. I honestly can’t wait to see the holiday presentation, even if I do cringe for poor Bridget, Gristle, and Barnabas.

The one part I’m not so sure about is the scene where the Trolls go through a wormhole while on a Caterbus (driven by Cloud Guy). It’s a very strange, quite bizarre scene that implies references to the original Good Luck Troll dolls. I feel like this was either two things: an attempt at over-the-top, satirical humor or the storytellers got a little tipsy while writing and the animators just rolled with it. Either way, it should be fun…….I think……

More of my commentary is attached to my favorite passages, also listed in this review. I can’t wait for the special to come out so I can compare it to the image I have in my head thanks to this wonderful novelization.

Enjoy some of my favorite passages below! And remember to buy the book! I only included a select few, and the novel is so worth the buy.

Passages I loved:

Pg. 2: Super-Scrapbooking Day was jam-packed with fun activities. Harper, who loved art, showed the Trolls how to make their scrapbooks more artistic. King Peppy told young Trolls thrilling stories about the adventures of scrapbooking heroes in the olden days. Guy Diamond showed everyone how to dance new steps while they add the sparkle of glitter to their creations.

First off, Super-Scrapbooking Day sounds so much fun! And when Trolls celebrate, they go all-out (there’s even a parade). I love it! I mean, Peppy is telling little ones about “scrapbooking heroes.” I just love all of it already.

Pg. 3-4: “May I see your scrapbook?” Poppy asked.
Branch hastily hid it behind his back. “It’s not done,” he said. “It’s actually my first scrapbook ever.”
“Aw, c’mon!” Poppy said, grinning. “Gimme a sneak peek!”
“Well…….okay. But promise you won’t laugh!”
“I won’t laugh—no way! What’s the theme of your scrapbook?” Poppy asked eagerly. “Rainbows? Cupcakes? Rainbows made out of cupcakes?”
Branch rolled his eyes. “Rainbows made out of cupcakes? How is that even possible?”
“With scrapbooking, ANYTHING is possible! So what’s your theme?”
“Yeah. Rocks.”

Aww, look at our little Branch! He’s trying so hard to be happy and fit in with the other Trolls now that he has his colors back. But he still has some of that leftover greyness. In this special, I feel like we’re going to see quite a bit of Branch trying to figure out who he is: what is Blue Branch and what is Grey Branch?

Pg. 6-7: Not that the Bergens never had fun nowadays. They weren’t nearly as miserable as they’d been before the Trolls helped them find the happiness inside themselves. They were perfectly capable of being happy. They just weren’t very good at it. One Bergen’s idea of fun was to organize a picnic at a mud puddle. Nobody came. In fact, even the Bergen who’d invited everyone didn’t show up. Another Bergen thought it might be fun to play soccer with a wooden cube. She ended up in the hospital.

The Bergens are all undergoing changes and learning new things. They spent so much time thinking that true happiness came from eating a Troll. Just because they know they have happiness inside them doesn’t mean they know how to feel it. It must be such a big change for them to lose their only holiday and have no idea how to feel happiness without the Trolls.

Pg. 9: In Troll Village, Cooper walked around collecting mail. After he’d gathered it all, he quickly delivered it. This was easy, since most of the time he only had to walk over to the next pod and hand its owner a card or a party invitation.

This seems like a reference/throwback to an early concept design for Cooper, where our favorite giraffe-like troll was a mailman for the village. Very clever, Dreamworks.

Pg. 13: Poppy turned and saw Branch looking at himself in her mirror. He was making a face that looked tense. Painful, even. “What are you doing? What’s happening with your face? Are you about to barf?”
Branch shook his head. “No, I’m practicing my smile. You know, I’m new to this whole being happy thing.”

I see some discussion about Branch’s dulled colors in the special. This further proves some of the theories that Branch as PTSD-like symptoms. He’s trying to be happy and be like the other trolls, but those are two different things. I think he’s definitely happy, especially when he’s with Poppy. But he’s not just like the other trolls, not anymore.

Pg. 25: “Wait a minute,” Branch said. “Making his own echo? Where have I heard that voice before?” Then he remembered! “Oh, no … not him.”

Poor Branch still doesn’t like Cloud Guy very much, which I find hilarious.

Pg. 35: Branch pointed toward the meadows. “Well, that way looks friendly and inviting, but you just know it’s going to turn out to be horrible and terrible once you get there.”

Aw, there’s our cute little pessimistic Grey Branch. Honestly, I’m glad the writers kept some of Branch’s sarcastic, sometimes-pessimistic personality even when he has his colors. After all, I think most of us fell in love with Branch because he contrasted so much against Poppy.

Pg. 39: Gigantic snowflakes fell from the sky and stuck into the ground on their sharp points. Each flake stood twice as high as a Troll!

See, what stands out to me here is that I recognize this as a brief scene from Trolls during Poppy’s song “Get Back Up Again.” Once again, the writers show how they recycle things used in the movie or concepts scrapped from the original cut. That’s the great thing about writing and filmmaking. Something that doesn’t work in one place may be awesome somewhere else in a related field.

Pg. 44: “Uh-oh,” Biggie sighed. “Who’s good at untying knots?”
“Pirates?” Cooper guessed.

I’m sorry, that was like an awesome Dad Joke. I actually laughed out loud.

Pg. 52-53: Cloud Guy had an amazing voice. But he was loud. Really loud. In fact, he was so loud, several critters’ faces scrunched up. Others covered their ears with their feet. Some fell to the ground. As the critters writhed on the ground, tortured by Cloud Guy’s thundering vocals, the Trolls slipped away.

Oh geez. I’m not sure I’m looking forward to hearing that.

Pg. 56: “Cooper,” Poppy said, “pyrotechnics.”
“Huh?” Cooper said. “I thought I was doing the fireworks.”
“Pyrotechnics are fireworks,” Branch explained.
“Oh,” Cooper said. “In that case, ready!” He gave a confident nod and a welding mask fell own over his face. he raised a gas torch, which was already lit and flaming.

Um………is anyone else concerned by that image?

Pg. 62: “On Tickle Day, we all get tickled by … SPIDERS!”

Okay, this is the part where I start to question the Trolls’ way of life, no matter how cute it looks. I respect all living creatures, even spiders, but I don’t want to be tickled by one.

Pg. 76: Bridget took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m saying is none of this really means anything to us.”
“Um, okay,” Poppy said, not exactly sure what her friend meant. “But I just want you to have something to celebrate.”

Serious moment at last after all the craziness of the holiday presentations. This is significant. Trollstice was the Bergens’ only holiday, the only time they could be happy. Bridget has a point: none of the Trolls’ holidays mean anything to the Bergens. They don’t have any emotional attachment to said holidays. But Poppy also brings up a good point: the Bergens need something to celebrate. They need a way to exercise their new happiness, and what better way than a special, annual occasion that they can share with each other?

Pg. 80: Branch approached the pink shrub. “Poppy, I know you’re hiding in your hair.”
The pink shrub sudden turned around and howled. It was a strange pink-haired critter!
“Not Poppy! Not Poppy!” Biggie said, clutching Mr. Dinkles protectively.
“Sorry,” Branch said. “Wrong hair.”

Major LOL! I hope we actually see that scene in the movie!

Beneath that handsome and cruel face, all I see is a sad, lonely and broken man.

I am totally late in the game for this one, but after reading Durarara spoilers last night at 1 AM, I just could not help but see this parallelism. 

Today, I am going to analyze three male characters that have haunted me for a good while: Sebastian Michaelis, Shogo Makishima and Izaya Orihara.

These three men are some of the most hypocritical people I have ever seen, but this is what makes them so intriguing. They make a lot of claims to belittle or take amusement in others (humans) when they themselves do the exact same thing if not to an even greater degree.

Durarara and Psycho Pass have already finished while Kuroshitsuji is get more obvious with its hints. It all ended with the same theme with these three, infamous, male characters. 

That they are the loneliest and most insecure people ever beneath that charming and deadly facade. 

Let’s begin with Sebastian since I have discussed him briefly before. 

Sebastian often criticizes humans for “thinking about their appearance.”

Yet throughout the whole manga, we see that Sebastian care a great deal about his own appearance. He always has to be the ultimate, perfect butler there is. While in battle, he stitched up his coat because it got torn with a smug look on his face. 

In the Emerald Witch arc, Sebastian immediately used magic to fix up his face after it got ruined by the deadly plague. 

He loved showing off his skills among humans and being admired. In fact, he seems to thrive in it. He is used to being loved despite being a demonic creature because people don’t realize he is in actuality, an ugly demon from hell.

Is it possibly because only in the human world, does he stand out? If someone does not admire or think well of him, he seems genuinely surprised.

Like how Sebastian is constantly bothered with how Francis Midford does not find him handsome like everyone else does. 

Beast from the Circus arc clearly disliked him from the start. That seemed to be part of the catalyst on why Sebastian loved teasing/harassing her and in the end, used her sexually and exploited information from her. 

It seemed to be his way of humiliating Beast.

In the latest Blue Cult arc, Sebastian’s look on his face clearly showed signs of distress and even…hurt when the humans around him shunned him after hearing about his nature as “darkness.” People no longer admired him and is legitimately treating him like the demon that he is. He is rejected. Could this be clue to his past self that was treated the exact same way? 

In the epilogue of the Kuroshitsuji Valentines event, Sebastian claimed hollowly he was “a lonely demon.”

And Sebastian, who is cruel, heartless and sees love as a weakness, is visibly bothered by it.

Was all this loneliness as a monster was what caused him to always have to be the perfect butler who is good at everything to have adoration and love?

Let’s go to Shogo Makishima.

At the beginning of Psycho Pass, I hated this guy to the max. I saw him as the much more murderous version of Izaya who only stirred up things like killing for his own fun in a dystopian world ruled by the Sibyl.

Makishima is the lone wolf whose body is not affected at all by the Sibyl and crime coefficients. But because of that, Makishima was able to see how flawed and twisted the governing system of the country really is and felt compelled to destroy it. He had no problems rebelling against the system and he had no problems killing off people who are part Sibyl if they bored him.

This is Makishima’s twisted view of the world. People who are part of the Sibyl are sheep and puppets to him which is not entirely wrong. It is the way he goes about it is completely insane.

Makishima kept on searching for new people to entertain him. By the end of the anime, we learned that he wanted to find a companion who is not ruled by Sibyl and can think for themselves like him.

Just like how he had all that hope in Akane Tsunemori to kill him. She could not because her gun is locked because his crime coefficient cannot be read by it at all.

It was his way of testing Akane to see if she really was a puppet of Sibyl and Makishima was so desperate and serious about it, that he even killed off Yuuki Funahara (Akane’s friend) over his disappointment in Akane that she could not rebel against the Sibyl after all. 

He seemed to have some final respect for Akane when she was so persistent to chase after him that she hopped on to the truck he stole.

At first, I thought he smiled one of his mocking smiles as he looked at the side-view mirror at a struggling Akane, but the more I replayed this scene, the more I don’t see his usual psychotic smirk. I see it as a subtle hint of respect and amusement from him because Akane, after all, is aware of the flaws of Sibyl and still chased him relentlessly regardless of Sibyl’s wish.

Originally posted by twotheleft

In the end, he acknowledged that Akane was not doing things because she is a “sheep,” but from her own mind and her final and resolute resolve to not kill him. (Still, being stepped roughly on the head is sure to be painful.)

Makishima’s views are not just twisted, but it is tragic because he also romanticizes it. 

“Who isn’t alone in this world?”

He knows that as humans, everyone will die and be replaced. The final scene of his death reveals that he is scared of being alone and being replaced. So when Kagami said he hoped to never encounter someone like Makishima again, it is confirmed for Makishima that he won’t be forgotten after all and died with a peaceful and content smile on his face.

In a way, while he hates Sibyl, he is also bothered that he is not part of the people and is alone in the world as well. He is rejected by Society.

Like Kagami said to him: “You just couldn’t bear solitude, that’s all.”

And finally, we have Izaya Orihara.

Obviously, Izaya is a well-known troll throughout anime history who mess with people’s lives just for kicks. He had always seemed ‘above’ humanity, above feelings and above human emotions.

He claimed to love and adore humanity, but apparently, it is much deeper than that.

Shinra said: He may seem cold-blooded, but he is more human, and his heart more brittle than anybody else, so much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it would break easily, which is why, I think, he chose from the start to avoid it all, to love humanity, you understand? Not to accept, not to face it, to avoid it.“

How did the informant respond to this? By cursing Shinra for seeing through him. Looks like Izaya is not so invincible after all and was just hiding behind the facade of a “God” to avoid getting hurt.

Why does he troll people? Because that is his way of getting attention and their anger and resentment is their ‘love’ towards him.

Treating people (Rio and Manami) like shit is the only way he knows how to give ‘love.’

When Manami was hunting him down and tried to slash him in the hospital, he seemed disturbingly happy and yelled in the end how much he loves humans. Why? Because this one person had so much hatred for him for years to hunt him down.

And Izaya, who is beyond mad at this point, sees it as ‘love’. He held on to this type of treatment his whole life. 

Why does he hate Shizuo so much? Because to Izaya, Shizuo is a beast. A monster and yet Shizuo was able to attract people and made friends easily. An ability Izaya does not have and is greatly jealous of. A person like Izaya is rejected from society.

In the end, he fought Shizuo one last time for good measure and in the end, ended up crippled and in a wheelchair.

To conclude this analysis, it is pretty sad really.

Fic Idea: WtNV/Twilight crossover

Wherein Bella hails not from Phoenix, Arizona, but from a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead on a regular basis.

 And dogs are not allowed in the Dog Park.

Fandoms: Twilight (books, probably movies too? Haven’t seen them), Welcome to Night Vale (podcast)

Warnings: everything Welcome to Night Vale-related. [So, cosmic horror, Librarian-caliber violence and gore, etc.] On the other hand, at least there’s semi-healthy relationships, here? Semi-unreliable narrator, because growing up in Night Vale makes for a skewed reference frame re: what is and is not sane and/or impossible.

Under the cut because of reasons. [You know why.]

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anonymous asked:

do you have any fic recs for an aro/ace person who really just wants some good, close relationships without the whole gross kissing thing? implied pairings are ok, too !! (just reread c'est la vie by you and it was perfect, thank you for being so brilliant and creative)

You didn’t specify a fandom so these are basically all the fics I know with asexual characters or just little to no romance. Some still have a bit of kissing but not overly much I don’t think.

Tales From the Avengers’ Mansion by Coneycat (Avengers)

When Loki arrives at the Avengers’ Mansion with a puppy for Thor, and an elaborate tale about how he acquired it, Tony can’t help but wonder what he’s really up to.

Second Chances by glacis (Bleach)

Ichigo trains in his soul and keeps his secrets, because the Hōgyoku is just a baby, Muramasa is the most loyal being he has ever met, Shiro is a troublemaker, Zangetsu’s a truth-teller, Ichigo isn’t as trusting as he used to be, and they all deserved a second chance.

Scales by Straight-Outta-Hobbiton (Bleach)

In which Ichigo is a dragon and his hoard consists of people.

Ranking by Straight-Outta-Hobbiton (Bleach)

Ichigo gets diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. He doesn’t tell anyone.

Lost Boys by glacis (BleachxHP)

After the Triwizard fiasco, Harry leaves Britain behind for a new life. Uryuu befriends Ichigo at a much younger age. Sirius escapes. Points converge and lost boys find a family. Isshin fails. So does Ryuuken. Kisuke finds a friend. Ukitake covers and cleans up. Fate changes.

Mad geniuses and fluffy tigers by amlago (Calvin and HobbesxMarvel)

This is the story about how Calvin drops out of MIT and got a job at Stark Industries. A job, and one and a half cubicle for him and Hobbes. And a yearly supply of high grade tuna for as long as he works there.

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playbill notes:  brooklyn – the musical

I Took One For The Team was actually the first song to be written.

When Lin Manuel Miranda starts writing his introduction for the playbill, he ends up talking about Betsy Greenberg, former WWII USO showgirl, the coolest old lady in their neighborhood and Hollywood actress, though, alas, Betsy never made it past minor supporting roles and hilarious B-grade horror movies.  Also, Bets might have been involved in certain hush-hush shenanigans that involved Peggy Carter and what would eventually become S.H.I.E.L.D.

Honestly, the fact that she was Steve Rogers’ first kiss was the least interesting thing about her, but hell, the way she told the story never failed to make Lin laugh.

“He was a darling, make no mistake about it, but I figured out pretty quickly he was completely gone on Barnes.”

“Well, it was illegal back then, wasn’t it?”

“There were some things people were stupid about then…. and still are now, to be honest.  But I always thought it weren’t anyone else’s business who you choose to fall in love with and so I sat little Stevie Rogers down and gave him some solid dick – you stop that laughing, young man, it meant something completely different back then!”

Nope, it wasn’t working.  Lin was still dying of laughter.

“You could say that I took one for the team.  Barnes better be damn grateful.”

This wasn’t the first time an attempt was made to bring Captain America to Broadway.  There was one that was all too obviously based on the comics version of Cap instead of the real life Steve Rogers and it only ran for one painful week.   

But to be honest, Lin kind of fell in love with little Stevie Rogers, in much the same way as he fell for Betsy and her sister USO showgirls and he could hear it already, the hints of ragtime and blues and jazz and swing, dance halls and the Lindy Hop and the more familiar sounds of the twenty first century – hip hop and rap and rock and roll and metal and before he knew it, he was done with the first song and on to the second. 

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#JoinTheFractal9Team with @fractal.9 @cheryld126 @nolatrees @dms_yoga @mynameisjessamyn @simply_lydie @alexisr022 @reesielove1121

Leggings and shorts by Fractal 9

Fractal9 was looking for ambassadors this past week, and I participated in hopes to join her amazing group of yogis! She’ll announce the winners next week! Her mini challenge was heart openers and questions for her to get to know us.

Day 1- What is one thing you love about yourself? Something that I love about myself is that I am very observant and open to new ideas. I’m naturally a quiet person, but I love to watch and understand everything whether it’s people, things, or ideas. Trying to understand everything that I can.

Day 2- What is a goal you are currently working towards? One of my goals that I am working at right now is my Bachlor of Fine Arts project. My field is Spatial Art which is 3D like ceramics, glass, metal, wood, found objects. I am currently working on an installation piece that I have been planning to do for 2 years. This semester the project is finally coming to life which is both terrifying and exciting. This project will mainly contain about 400 small ceramic sculpted abstract ocean creatures, and found garbage from the Bay Area. These will all be suspended in the air to look like a wave. My work deals with ocean garbage and trying to create awarness of The Great Garbage Patch in the ocean, and how plastic never biodegrades. This is my main goal right now till the end of the month where I will be having a gallery opening. Yoga wise I will be planning a SF Bay Area Instagram meetup for June!

Day 3- What are your 5 greatest loves? ●Joshua Tree National Park/U.S. Southwest. Joshua Tree has come to hold a special place in my heart. I never thought I’d come to love the desert so much especially cause I love the ocean so much. I’ve gone all over the Southwest, but after I graduate I want to do a roadtrip all around. I’ve been wanting to visit Bryce, Arches, Monument Valley, and Canyonlands!
●Traveling and experiencing new places. I’ve been and lived in the Bay Area all my life and have traveled around to many states, but I have a big Wanderlust to travel to other countries to enjoy their beauty and fun. I’ve been wanting to go to New Zealand since I was a kid and want to save up enough to travel there for a month!
●Family. Growing up as an only child I dont know what having brothers and sisters feel like, but i’ve grown up with a ton of cousins to make up for it especially coming from a big Mexican and Filipino family. They all drive me crazy, but I love them unconditional. Family also extends to close friends that feel just like family. As well as my kitties Roux and Rosie.
●Ceramics and art. I’ve always been creative by doing art and craft related things all my life. When I was at a certain time in college, it wasn’t till i took a ceramics class and was encouraged to keep going. I had never been encouraged that much by any art teacher till then, so i naturally took another class and fell in love with it. I had finally found my medium in the art world that i was passionate about.
●My Yoga Practice. Even with loving art so much, I fell into a rut a couple years ago and wasn’t sure what I was doing art wise. Feeling frustrated and depressed. I had already been doing yoga, but when I was hitting this rut, yoga helped fill me. It was something completely unrelated that took my mind off of my art, and helped center me again. Now I feel a balance between them.

Day 4- When was the last time you forgave yourself? I recently had to forgive myself for being really defensive after a recent troll. Everyone always tells me to ignore and block people who make rude and unwanted comments about myself, and to not respond to keep them egging on and influence others. After finally blocking them I in the moment deleted someone else’s comment that hit a chord in me. When they DM’d me I kind of went on a long rant, not at them, but at explaining my defence for the way I reacted to their  comment but mostly the haters  comments. I woke up the next morning feeling guilty for just spilling that all on them and apologizing. Even though I know I shouldn’t had been so defensive to someone who was just trying to be helpful and nice, I still feel my comment in a general sense was understandable. The reason I try to talk with people who are trolling and saying rude things is to actually understand their thinking even though I know it’s illogical. I want to create a conversation with them and not just ignore the fact that their thinking about people they don’t know is just plain ridiculous. Sometimes I know this isn’t the place to do it, but when a get in the mood I’ll just do it till someone tells me that I shouldn’t. I apologize for going off on a rant and being influenced, but forgive myself for getting defensive because there are some topics need to be addressed.

Day 5- What is your mantra? Why? “Anything you can do, I can do almost” It is the quote that I have on my Tumblr. Many people have commented on it because they think it is not so positive, which in retrospect to me it is. I’ve always liked the quote “anything you can do, I can do better” with the commercial with Michael Jordan and Mia Ham, but I’m not the kind of person to say I’m better than someone else. It is saying that whatever someone else can do I will be able to almost. Where I’m almost there all the time because there is no end goal with that I am doing because it is all about the journey. I’m trying to keep myself motivated and not think just because I can do a certain pose doesn’t mean I can’t keep working on it and improving myself in a positive way. I’ve always thought this throughout my life as well because I’ve felt I always had something to prove. To prove that if there was something that I enjoyed but wasnt seen as something I could do because of percieved expectations/limitations pushed on me, that I would prove ‘them’ wrong and do what I pleased. To prove I could be just as good at art, physical activities, dance, yoga, so that I could maybe feel a respect that I did something to push the norm of what is expected of me on my own terms. It may take the same time or longer for me to do something but I will always keep motivating myself.

Day 6- How? Why did you start to practice yoga? I started my yoga journey about 4 years ago when I took a semester yoga class at my university. It was years earlier that I had wanted to try out yoga, but things always came up. My best friend had taken yoga a semester before me, and it had reminded me that I wanted to do it too. I remember the first class being surprised that doing simple poses was so difficult, but being excited to keep it up and get better at it. My yoga instructor was an older man named Lawrence Caughlin and he was very encouraging no matter what poses it was. Always being positive and telling us it took even him time to get a pose. It wasn’t till my friend had asked me to be her maid of honor for her wedding. That is when I made my Tumblr to use as a progress blog as I had wanted to lose a bit of weight to fit slimmer into a dress. After that I hit a rut in my art and was super depressed, kept making sad art that was to personal to me, and didnt know what to do. Doing yoga and traveling was the only thing to take my mind off of overthinking what I wanted to do with my artwork. Yoga has become a personal therapy that has helped me so much. Even though everyone sees me physically, its more of what yoga does for me mentally. I thank to much to my practice for always being the supporting hand on my shoulder when things get tough.

Day 7- Why do you want to be an ambassador for Fractal9? I would love to be an ambassador for Fractal9 because I would love to behind an amazing brand of active wear to support bodies of all sizes. While at the same time having fun and beautiful leggings and shorts. I love to live my life as much as I can, and as colorful as I can. There is something about fun leggings that just puts you in a good mood to not take things so serious in life. I love that Christine promotes that not all bodies are the same which is amazing that that she does custom sizing to fit a persons body perfectly. I love that she has extended her line for bigger bodies, and would be so proud to help support her and all the beautiful bodies who would love to wear her clothes!


hey did u know that i am homestuck trash and my friends and i have fantrolls now bc we have a bootleg portuguese session and we have godtiers and an adventure and everything bc we hella swag yeah ill post the godtiers later but we have them

Cristo: bruh he has the fire voodoo man dude dude dude i like my physical integrity pls i dont wanna be a croquette

Abdiel: are you 2 sweeps old that is not a ‘voodoo’ that is a young boy

these are some of our babies and this is gonna be a readmore ahaha

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Previously on Vikings: Athelstan was still dead.

Season 3, Episode 8: “To The Gates!” [exclamation point theirs] [seriously]

Despite being last seen yelling “AXE TIME” at Paris at night, Floki has not actually left his position atop some sort of scaffold outlook gazing over his floating siege towers, nor has he stopped doing a stationary interpretive dance at them.

Meanwhile, Ragnar is fretting. This is his face:

are you chewing your lip

Elsewhere in Camp Viking, everyone’s gettin’ ready. Vikings and Shieldmaidens grab axes and buckets and their MOXY, and everyone hauls butt to the boats. Ragnar holds Athelstan’s cross in his slightly shaking hands. YO VIKINGS, a more engaging scene: Ragnar holds Athelstan’s shoulders in his slightly shaking hands. “Are you ready, my friend?” Athelstan’s like: *close-up*

Extended prep sequence. Ropes, boats. We learn that Helga is in charge of quivers / my quivering heart. Shirtless Rollo and a dude wearing a wolf head on his head holler and smash things. Ragnar is judgy. This is his face:

what is with Ragnar “Reaction GIF” Lothbrok this episode

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anonymous asked:

Can I say your writing and blog are both so amazing? Really it's wonderful. Since I especially loved that Sleeping Beauty AU!, may I request a Rapunzel! AU with Kuroo, Oikawa, Akaashi, Bokuto and Ushijima. You can do headcanons or just write a scenario of a scene of the movie. Just.. I adore your blog. Thank you!

Woah, thank you so much! You’ve touched my heart.


-Kuroo is a master thief, with no heist being too tough for him. Nobody ever sees him coming nor has he ever been caught.

-He likes to leave weird objects in place of those he stole just to troll the owners of the items.

-An acquaintance of his brought word that he had accidentally stumbled upon a hidden tower deep in the woods, but had been unable to climb it. This intrigues Kuroo, so he ventures there to see what treasures may potentially be hidden inside.

-Boy is he in for the surprise of his life when he not only finds nothing of particularly high value to steal, but is also successfully taken down by a teenage girl.

-He supposed her hair may sell for a good price, but he was very much opposed to forcibly cutting off a girl’s hair. Regardless, even if he had wanted to take her hair, he wouldn’t have been able to due to the fact that he was currently tied up beyond any hopes of escape.

-He agrees to take her to see the lanterns as a sign of respect to the first person who managed to capture him as well as to show his gratitude for not turning him in to the police.

-This mysterious girl does not cease to impress him throughout their journey.


-Oikawa is a notorious con artist. Everyone is always too intrigued by his flirtatious actions and attractive features to ever suspect him to scam them.

-That being said, he is incredibly shocked that the mysterious girl in the tower does not instantly fall for his dashing looks and charm.

-He is likely to whine throughout the first half of their journey to the city, in hopes of annoying Rapunzel just enough for her to decide that their deal is off.

-At some point, he realizes his whining is no longer done to annoy her, but rather, done in hopes of gaining her attention.

-Oikawa would go all out once they reached the town, doing anything to get her to smile: be it through actions or gifts.

-He has also deemed the horse to be his arch nemesis, though he must admit, he has slowly been growing more fond of the animal over the course of their journey.


-Word spread around the kingdom of a terrible beast spread which devoured every man who had tried to hunt it down. Hoping to set his subjects’ minds at ease, the king contracted three of his bravest troops to hunt it down, for an impressive price, of course. As the day of the hunt approached, the three troops were filled with fear for their lives. Unable to turn back on their contracts to kill the beast, they sought out someone who could fight in their place without the king knowing, eventually leading them to a homeless orphan named Akaashi.

-Akaashi initially turns down the troops’ desperate requests for him to slay the beast, leading the three to threaten to kill him if he refused. With no power to stand up for himself, he joined their mission to defeat the man eating animal.

-During the hunt, Akaashi eventually outwits the animal and defeats it. Soon afterward, the three troops draw their weapons to kill Akaashi in hopes of gaining all of the prize money and honor for themselves.

-He escapes, due to luckily stumbling into a hidden path which lead to a mysterious tower. Unwilling to take any chances with the three rogue troops, Akaashi climbs the tower to hide, causing him to encounter Rapunzel.

-Eventually proving he means no harm to the girl, she allows him to hide within the tower for a while in hopes of the guards giving up on their hunt for Akaashi. Soon after, she asks him to take her to see the floating lights, which he willingly agrees to do so long as they avoid the guards in the town.

-He can never quite comprehend why the horse is a better and more loyal guard than most of the humans are.


-Bokuto picked up an apple at a shop and just started eating it without considering the fact that he had to pay for it.

-The apple vendor began to cry out “Thief, stop right there!” and Bokuto is like “Me? A thief?” with the evidence still in his hand.

-He begins to get nervous as more people stare at him, so he escapes the town as quickly as possible and eventually stumbles upon Rapunzel’s tower.

-He is easily guilted into taking her to see the lights, as he believes doing so will cancel out his previous wrongdoing.

-When Bokuto learns of the healing ability that Rapunzel possesses in her hair, he begins to ask her to heal him every time he so much as scratches himself. This is partially because he likes watching her hair glow, and partially due to the fact that it gives him an excuse to hear her sing, though the latter is likely more of the reason.

-Bokuto strongly believes the horse is some kind of divine punishment from above for the terrible crime he committed.


-He’s actually not a criminal, he is just highly misunderstood.

-A ribbon had fallen out of a little girl’s hair and Ushijima found it, but his attempt to return it ended with a loudly sobbing girl (because who is this scary man?) and the town guards thinking he was a kidnapper.

-Ushijima escapes the town to avoid imprisonment and in hopes of finding some way to clear his good name.

-Upon regaining his consciousness after being knocked out by a frying pan, he wonders why on earth the girl before him would soil her beautiful hair by using it as a rope.

-The two make a deal that if Ushijima takes her to see the floating lights, she will help him remain hidden until he can clear his name.

-Rapunzel is the one who tries to drag him into the Snuggly Duckling and he’s all “No I highly advise that we not.” Ushijima is a good, upstanding citizen and would sooner die than be seen in a saloon.

-He soon finds he is willing to do anything to protect the girl, and even though he is rather unwilling to fight the horse, he would make an exception if it meant protecting her.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Frozen was a true stance for feminism or just another disney fluke

It’s 1am and I have to get up at 7am, so I’ll be brief.

>Yes, it is.

Anna dreams of meeting ‘the one’ her prince, who will take her away and everything will be rosy.
She gets this from tales, from stories, from books.

This is her 'media influence’.

This is the ideal they sell… that you meet 'the one’ and life stops, you'e happy ever after… no detail or anything, because the reader never questions past that point.

Frozen takes that, puts it in real-life context (via Elsa) and just goes, “Are you serious?”

It points out that what you’re brought up to believe is happiness, is not always true. That behind a pretty face can be something dark. That boys (and girls) who say all the right things, appear charming and do 'all the right things’ from a stereotypical media on romance perspective… might not be doing it for your benefit, but for their own.

That not all affection shown is genuine, and urges the watchers to be wary of people who bull-at-a-gate the whole thing.

Hans was literally a gold-digger, well more of a castle-digger.


Another point, is that it also showed how isolation and despair can change a person.

Elsa locked herself away, became invisible… and it made her sad, anxious, a danger to herself and others (powerwise) because she never learned how to live (see: control her powers, which she should have been taught how to… like seriously… wth kind of parenting is 'you have magic don’t fucking touch anything’? Oh wait… the Dursleys).

When she finally comes out into society… all she wants is to be 'normal’, but it causes her great stress by trying to pretend to be something she’s not. Eventually leading to self-acceptance.

Also, Elsa comes across as a little bit Ace or maybe demi-sexual.
She doesn’t need romantic love… she just needs to be told it’s okay to love someone, that she can’t hurt people.
Because she was always alone, but feared hurting those she cared about (parents, sister, probably the servants too).

Whereas Hans, by contrast, was also in a similarish scenario.

Last child of a string of royal princes, overlooked, ignored, invisible.
It embittered him to the point where his only thought was to POSSESS.
He HAD to have Arrendale, had to have power, and he didn’t care how many bodies he stepped over to get to it…
He learned to mimic, to pretend, to be whatever the person he was interacting with wanted him to be… 

Hans was surrounded by people but always so alone that he would kill to change it.

Hans was a mirror with jagged edges that couldn’t see that he was in the wrong, self-righteous and very dangerous. An important facet of humanity is the ability to self-reflect on your words and actions… and improve.

So you see not so much mirror opposites, but divergent paths in a forest with those two. 

Similar/equating circumstances, different outcomes.


Anna, despite having lived in a castle all her life is something of the opposite of her sister; she’s everywhere, she’s the child you can’t give sugar too unless you have a giant butterfly net and The Flash handy.

She wants to look, to explore, to talk to people… but most of all she wants her sister to be happy. She doesn’t remember why they never talk anymore, but she still tries with the same amount of enthusiasm (until the day of the funeral, but who wouldn’t be down on a day like that?)

She loves too freely.

She is different from her sister, but it doesn’t make her better than Elsa. In fact we realise that this endless enthusiasm is sort of a coping mechanism from all the years of segregation and living inside a castle with none but intermittent servants to speak to…

Elsa and Anna are different, they have different traits, but still a few that coincide… like real siblings. 

And that’s important. Because siblings aren’t always the same, some are, but not all… and given the extremity of their separation it’s still interesting to see how they matured differently but still similarly (this refers to personalities, and not their identical facial features).

Also, it shows the difference between introverts and extroverts, pointing out that it’s okay to be both… Elsa does better, is more creative when alone and feeling comfortable/safe; Anna thrives on being around people, on talking, on doing weird things in social spaces.

Different, but both equally valid personality types.


Then, last of all let us examine what’s going on in the story.

>Anna meets Kristoff, but she isn’t immediately infatuated with him like she was with Hans -thank god for that. 
They didn’t make it a love triangle, like every other major teen-movie/novel out there right now. And I’m so pleased.

>She meets him as a friend, she gains his help, she shows him that she is just as strong and able as he is.

However Kristoff also plays the vital role of pointing out logical things -like not marrying a stranger you just met after a matter of hours 101.
Like, it’s okay to ask for help sometimes… 
Like, real friends will help you because they are your friends, not because they want anything.

>The trolls try to set them up, and while it is insinuated Kristoff feels something for her, he is also aware and respectful of the fact she does not feel the same way back. She (thinks) she loves Hans.
Nice Guys take note.
He never helps her to 'get something from her’ [her replacing the sled later on doesn’t count, because she promised that to him]. 

>Hans emotionally manipulated not one, but both of the (do they have a last name?) sisters. He did what you should never do, ingratiate yourself to someone, and then use their weaknesses against them (Nice Guys also take note).

>Kristoff didn’t come back for some random heroic rescue mission, or to profess his love, he was literally hella worried about both Anna…

>Hans was a douchecanoe. Short and Simple.
He was a warning, that a pretty face can hide evil intentions; that people are not always what they say they are, how they appear. Which is important to impress on the next generation, boys and girls -not everyone has your best interests at heart.

Just because someone says they love you, or that they have candy in their van… doesn’t mean it holds true.

Especially if you only just met them, or don’t know them well enough.

>Hans playing the victim.
Often, in modern media, the abuser/bad guy tends to get sympathy and 'poor baby’s, no matter what the crime. The focus is detracted from the victims, and what these assholes did (be they male or female), but on how 'their future/s are now lost as they will face jail time’.
[See: the Steubenville Rape Case]

This scene also highlights that what you hear is not always true.
When two people have an altercation, they both tell different stories, each often highlighting themselves as the victim; abusers do it all the time, 'poor me, she left me’, and gets friends to text her or FB her to 'give him another chance’ (as a highly prevalent in society today, example).

The key is the sympathy card.

That snippet of 'poor me’ is very, very important to highlight that what you hear is not always true, and correct. Also highlighting, once again, that Hans is, and always will be, a motherfucking douchecanoe.

>Hans vs Elsa.
He was sincerely going to kill her before he even met her, organise an 'accident’ and rule the kingdom from thereon in.
Why were people so shocked when he drags out a broadsword?

He stood over her, prepared to kill her, and all anyone could do was stand and gape at the whole scenario. The truth was out, but no one would do anything, no one COULD do anything… it was too late.

As often seen in scenarios where women (and men) are hounded into getting back with their abusers (who are 'wonderful people who need another chance’ or 'didn’t mean to beat the shit out of them’/etc.), and they are murdered by their abuser or the abuse becomes so significant they end up hospitalised. That’s when people see the truth, and how stupid they’ve been; but it’s too late to change things.


>Elsa and Anna.

Neither of these women needed men to save them. Neither of them let men destroy them.

Anna was an unlikely hero, being rather stereotypically feminine, 'girly’ cute and sweet… but she shows she is also capable of other things, that she is willing to risk everything for people she loves, that she is brave, that no matter what… she’s got your back.

She was a dynamic character… the red-headed Buffy Summers of Arrendale.

Anna could have saved herself, or so she thought, by letting Kristoff come to her; kiss her… but she didn’t. 

She did what any hero would do in her situation, she put herself between a monster and her beloved sister. She was the hero, even though it almost cost her evverything.

That representation is so incredibly important.

You can be cute, you can be sweet, but you can also lift cars if children are trapped, you can be a brave, heroic person without having to shave off all 'traditional femininity’…

That’s what Anna was.

Polite, a bit awkward, fun… but also able to set things on fire and toss them at ravenous wolves if things called for it. She was adaptable. She was a survivor.

She placed herself between the blade of a mad man, and an innocent.
Lots of people do that today.

It’s almost a metaphor. How many men/women out there stand between their abusive partners and their children?
How many take the fall to protect someone else being targeted?
How many celebrities are treated like public property and harassed every single day, while others who do terrible things are left alone and unharrassed, their every move excused by 'adoring fans’?


It takes one person to stand up to something wrong, and that person risks losing everything for it.

In this case, Anna nearly lost her life.

But she chose to do that.

And it saved her sister, which eventually saved herself and all of Arrandale as well. It was instinct, but that action was so very important…

Elsa saw she was loved in that moment, too.

Anna saved herself by self-sacrificing for Elsa; the 'act of True Love’ was meant to be an action the person struck performed, not something performed on them.

[And that’s another point, the Trolls only speculate that 'True Love’s Kiss’ will save Anna… but because they repeat it enough, she takes it as a definite… which is somewhat of a warning against the concept of believing everything you read online or in the media. It’s not always 100% right… and is bent and twisted to fit the ideologies and perspectives of those that report/write it].


>Anna punching Hans.

Traditionally, women are taught to be passive, to use words, or try to just ignore/fluff over nasty things men say to us… in this case, Anna went, 'Nope’ and punched him right in the fucking face, like he deserved.

Hans deserved that, he really did. 

Anna also punched female stereotypes in the face.

You’re either 'hella girly feminine’, 'dirty-talking tomboy badass’ or 'a slutty version of the other two’ in the media. It’s how women are sold to the populace, what little girls grow up thinking they need to be.

In this case, Anna the 'traditional girly girl’ is hella strong and not afraid to stand up for herself; she argues, she protects, she stands between others and harm like the traditional white male hero usually does… and she punches douchecanoes right in the face for being douchcanoes (and trying to kill them).

She’s not going to settle for anything less than respect from others.



Elsa is different, she can do something that can’t be explained, that’s unusual… it scares her, she hides it, it gets worse and no one understands because she simply can’t let anyone in.

But as the movie unfolds, she frees herself of fear by further isolating herself and taking the time to learn how to use her powers, her abilities…

Kristoff nearly cries he’s so in awe of the ice-palace (and you bet they became BFFs, because she probably leaves him little ice-sculptures of random things everywhere, and he gets so emotional over it each time like, 'Oh my god I love the ice teddy-bear you made me but I hugged it and it melted…’) because her gift is beautiful, when she knows how to work it, when she’s unlimited.

Then right at the end, she’s realised people care about her, they’re not afraid of her powers… they love what she can do, admire it… and it’s not something to hide or be afraid of. It can be good to be different.

Something her parents had never told her…


And Kristoff, to toss this right in at the end.

He respects Anna, (respects Elsa too), and allows her to initiate things; he asks if she’s okay with little things rather than doing them and upsetting her.

That’s very important for boys and girls to see.

You need to gauge where your partner is, be they same-, opposite-, multi-, or non-gendered. You both need to be happy about something, need to make sure that both sides of the relationship equation are for something before going ahead… or one sides risks hurting/upsetting the other because they weren’t sure how to say no.

They set up a continuous bond of 'Is this okay?’ and make it clear the other can reject it at any time for whatever reason.

I think Kristoff would have been okay if she’d said, “No” and left it at that. No explanation. He’s painted as that kind of guy.

We should all try to be Kristoff in regards to respecting your partner of choice… 


Basically, I do think that FROZEN captured some very important points applicable both to feminism and to the real world we live in.

-You are okay just as you are, male or female or both or non-binary.
You are okay as an introvert or extrovert. 
You are okay as the the person you are, accept it and you will find happiness.

-Not everyone has your best interests at heart.
A pretty smile and all the right words, do not a strong relationship make… especially if you’ve known them only a short time. Never leap into the more important things… and talk to others about big decisions to gain multiple perspectives (as you may be wearing rose-tinted glasses about the whole thing!)

-Women can be Strong. Men can be Passive.
Women can be Passive. Men can be Strong.
People of all genders and none can be both of those things, or neither, or have them as but one of many, many defining personality traits…

-The Media is not always telling the truth.
What you are conditioned to want is not always best for you, specifically.
There is a reason they call them 'stories’.

-The Bad Guy can get sympathy with a sad pout and the right words. 
Always take someone’s story with a grain of salt until you’ve heard all sides of the scenario.

-Be who you are, you are not wrong, just unique.

-Women can hold power and do a good job.
Elsa does not need a King to make a good Queen.

-Have a openly-communicative relationship, so both parties feel at ease to discuss how they feel.

-Don’t be a motherfucking douchecanoe -looking at you, Hans.

anonymous asked:

It doesn't matter how many Caryl posts you make up what you don't seem to get that you lost and we won. Norman said Carol is his sister and that's all she can ever be but when asked about Beth he said there was love there. I don't get it. Just give it up. Brothers and sisters are never going to get together and you are lucky cause he's nice. Carol as his mother was a more likely answer. HA

Hi there “friendly”,

I can see you are especially gleeful and joyful today, only its too bad that the happiness you are feeling right now isn’t related to your ship or something else you love or are passionate about. If only…ha!
I feel you - it really sucks when you are disqualified from a game you really want to play and especially when it’s a game you were so sure you would 1000% win, that you were more than willing to offend, mock, insult and harass anyone who dared to think any differently. 

I guess old habits don’t die because here you are once again, disqualified and bitter-hearted but nonetheless determined to continue doing exactly the same thing even though the only thing you gain from spreading your negativity nowadays is feeling “superior” for a few minutes because a few words in an interview have given you something to taunt others with.

It’s really perplexing to me that people like you who were so certain that things were going to go their way, that their ship was canon based on a few intern written sentences, that “trolling” hyped up interviews were “confirmations” and that PR set up scenarios were “signs” to hold onto…all of which was tragically and utterly WRONGBUT yet you think I would trust your opinions about any of this and “give up” because of what you say…. 

Look at your track record - it’s not like you could be a reliable source or someone who is known to “get things right” around here! 

You misinterpreted and misconstrued almost everything anyone said about your ship, you followed “signs” that led you to…absolutely nothing! I am pretty sure that after all of the things you got WRONG and the level of disrespect you and your buddies have been filling my inbox with, I would be certifiably insane to trust anything you say or to even allow any of your “reasoning” to influence my own. 


Your way of thinking requires redemption and a serious maturity boost before anyone will or should take what you say with any level of intellectual or personal validity.
Hiding behind the anonymous badge only adds to the fact that nobody will consider your “opinion” as a serious one or one that should be considered in the first place.
However you came to me and if you come to me with stuff like this then you should already know that I don’t give out panicky, defensive or angry responses - from me you get facts, rational logic and respectful optimism. Despite the fact you didn’t give me any to begin with.

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