because I had a bit of time to kill

I had this chat with Lizbob last night, while she was waiting for the download link to go live. It turned into a bizarre Bucklemming-flavored game of 20 Questions, so I copy-pasted it here. Rereading it this morning, I kinda wish this was actually how the episode went >.>

I edited it up a bit this morning because wow this is longer than I remember it being :P

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What if the reason nobody has talked about Junior all this time is because every time they bring it up Tucker pulls out like 14 pictures like “This is him at his first trip to the dentist. He almost bit the guys arm off but had no cavities, fucking savage, right?” “Here’s his first dance. He got asked by like, 40 girls, because my son’s a fucking player” “ Here’s our first Christmas. I didn’t know what to get him so I just got him a puppy. He killed it, but was pretty happy, so it’s whatever.”

I am going to continue with my many many Genji headcanons and no one can stop me. Because like. This brat? He’s yakuza. His social life would’ve been WEIRD. He would have had goons who slid up to him and went “want us to kill them, young lord?” every time someone so much as looked at him funny. He could have anyone he wanted and still be blissfully unaware of how terrified they were of him and his family the entire time. Coping skills? Fuck that, he spent YEARS depressed and miserable and hating himself before he met Zenyatta.

I refuse to believe that he isn’t at least a little bit of a socially inept and reactionary boob who has no concept of PDA. His life was never a private thing when he was part of a fancypants crime family, and I doubt it was especially private when he was part of Overwatch either. And being a cyborg and all, I think he’s stopped caring about appearances by now. Mostly. At least he thinks he has.

This post got long somehow. And it didn’t even include any Zenyatta headcanons. Hrm. WELL, I’ll get to the zen robot later.

It kills me because you can see Killian starts to pull away, because he’s ashamed and seeing them free is reminding him just what he had done. And so he starts to pull away, his hand shifts just the tiniest bit, before Emma reaches out and covers his hand with hers, stopping his retreat.  It’s a simple, yet powerful action, reassuring him and silently saying, “Don’t pull away from me, Killian…I’m right here….I’m not going to let you go through this alone." 

It’s just so beautiful. 

(gif borrowed from the lovely captainswanouat)

Aelin’s relationships *spoilers*

Okay so I still see quite a lot of Rowan hate or just general unhappiness that their ship didn’t work out in EoS, but there are reasons why that is.

Chaol and Celaena were doomed from the start. Even I as a Chaolaena shipper knew it. He loved her yes, but he didn’t accept all of her. He loved the girl he read books with and trained with, but not the notorious assassin that killed men for a living. He loved Lillian, not Celaena, definitely not Aelin.

I think Dorian and Celaena never worked out because they had more of a friendship than a relationship. Because at the time, after Endovier and Sam, that’s what Celaena needed. A friend. Yeah they flirted and kissed, but most female/male friendships start of with a bit of a blurred line.                           What about when they destroyed the King together? Aelin understood his need to kill the monster in his life because she had that same need, with the King and Arobynn. Plus the fact that if they had been mates, which Aelin deserved, he wouldn’t be able to hurt her, even possessed. (Aelin possessed by Deanna couldn’t hurt Rowan.)

The main reason Aelin’s relationships didn’t and wouldn’t have worked out was because Aelin hadn’t learned to embrace who she was yet. It wasn’t till she met Rowan in Heir of Fire that she to learned to embrace and love herself. The slave, assassin, princess. The Fae. Learning to love herself, especially her fae heritage was such an important step because it’s such a huge part of who she is. Before HoF she didn’t love parts of herself, so she couldn’t let others love them and essentially her either.

And Sam, as much as it pains me to say, he’s dead.

     “I’m 94. I never smoked and I never drank—not that I thought they were wrong, but my parents didn’t do it, so I didn’t. Though I didn’t think about it at the time, I think that was a big factor in prolonging my life. I’ve lost most of my immediate family: I had a brother who was killed in the Second World War and a sister who died very young. I’m still here, though, sitting on the front porch.
     “I was a teacher, and I always enjoyed it. I taught junior high—they say that’s hard because students are difficult at that age, but I liked them, and I hope they liked me a little bit. I’ve always liked people. I wish I could have worked with them a lot longer. After I retired as a teacher, I worked for the Quincy Market at the information desk for two years. Then one day they said that everybody had to take a drug test. I thought, ‘Gee, that’s not the right thing to do to someone my age!’ It was stupid! So I left. I wasn’t fired, I just left. I’m sorry I did, because I liked it—it was a very pleasant job. It wasn’t about the money: it kept me busy. Still, it was stupid to make everyone take a drug test. I know I never took drugs.”

<<TRIALS DAY 1>> Had my English discovery trial HSC exam today! (As did everyone else doing the catholic trials) 🍃🌞 Wasn’t my best exam because I was a bit short on time… But it will definitely be better than tomorrow’s English exam! 3 essays in 2 hours on 5 texts I’ve barely studied… Kill me now 🔫🔫

Everyone else, pose as a Team.

I figured I’d write a bit about it, now that I’ve got some space from the initial feelings.

Why did the Condesce die? Didn’t Lord English make her immortal?
The ‘hex/curse’ that Lord English puts on her didn’t make her truly immortal, and that’s been made explicit several times in the comic. The Handmaid has the same hex on her and the Condesce killed her. Not to mention that Scratch had to essentially babysit Damara and keep her on suicide watch because she kept trying to kill herself

The curse extends your lifespan (and while fuschiabloods have a very high upper end, they aren’t ageless). It doesn’t grant true Caliborn-style immortality. Even if Lord English could give someone that kind of unconditional boon (and there’s been no indication anywhere, ever, that he can), it seems highly doubtful that he would want to share power.

Terezi takes a a worse beating than the Condesce, but survives.
No, she doesn’t.

Is Eridan alive?
Doubtful, even if we saw a version of him in the Furthest Ring with normal eyes. Ghosts in the Dream Bubbles have normal eyes until they realize how they died. It is, like many things, open to interpretation. Given that he’s from a doomed timeline (Alpha timeline Eridan has a seahorse lusus), the prospects aren’t good.

What happened to Vriska?
Her fate was left ambiguous and open to interpretation.

What did Alt-Calliope do?
It appears she either conjured or turned herself into an enormous black hole that absorbed the Green Sun and many of the Sessions and Dream Bubbles orbiting it. This at least partially de-powered Lord English, and Vriska chose this moment to turn the juju on him.

Is Lord English gone for good?
Presumably, yes. The Serkets have a tendency to be epic fuckups though.

What happened to the Sprites?
We see Nannasprite arrive with Dad after briefly speaking with him, and I think it’s clear that she cares for him, John, and Jane so I assume she would have gone with them if at all possible. However, none of the Sprites are shown in the new world. Remember, that outside the Medium, Sprites don’t exist in their ‘guide’ form and look like this.

Are the kids still God-tier?
This was left ambiguous. None of them are wearing their costumes, but when we see Jade, she still has her dog ears.

…but don’t SBURB players get to be the gods of a new universe?
The Beta trolls believe this, but it was never confirmed as true. Personally, I think it’s something Doc Scratch made up to make them more competitive, though there’s no proof of this.

What happened to the consorts?
We see several of them in the world during the pan through Can Town, which implies they survived. Presumably, the kids gathered the ones who wanted to come along from their respective planets.

Where is the Matriorb? Why hasn’t Kanaya restarted the troll race?
There’s no reason to believe it’s not in Kanaya’s inventory (or possibly Rose/Roxy’s, if she wanted easier access to it). And there is nothing within canon to imply that she’s not going to, but it’s possible the time skip we see in the ending is quite short and she just hasn’t had the time/she’s taking some time to relax and be a kid/the Mother Grub hasn’t hatched yet.

Why haven’t the humans restarted their race?
Because 8/9ths of them are emotionally traumatized in addition to being literal children by any adult interpretation of what a child is. They will probably have children/families of their own when they’ve had time to heal and the moment is right.

Where is Terezi?
She’s not shown in the new world, but unless she has powers that weren’t revealed anywhere in canon (which is extremely unlikely), she was drawn into it with the rest of the victorious players. Personally, I think she went on a journey to find Vriska, since we know it’s possible (but difficult) to enter the Medium without being a SBURB players (the Condesce did it).

Are there humans in the new world?
The status of the human race in the new universe is left ambiguous. We only see the Beta/Alpha kids and Dad, though Rose and Kanaya look out over a cityscape with skyscapers that is distinctly different from Can Town near the end of the video.

Did Aradia ditch Sollux?
I seriously doubt it, but he’s not shown in the ending.

Did Aradia die?
I sure as fuck hope not, and since it wasn’t shown on screen, I doubt it.

Were the Dream Bubbles/Furthest Ring/Medium destroyed by Calliope? Is Paradox Space gone forever?
If the Medium is infinitely large, then no. Not even if she managed to destroy an infinitely large swath of it. We do see Dream Bubbles and what could be Sessions being sucked into the black hole, so it’s possible she saw that as acceptable losses in order to stop Lord English/Caliborn. She wants to do what’s best, but she’s not exactly kind or caring.

Is Gamzee still in the fridge? Is he dead?
Gamzee’s fate was left ambiguous. If the fridge survived and Lord English couldn’t assert influence over him anymore, Karkat and Terezi probably retrieved it and brought him along. He is, however, not shown in the new world.

Did LE!Jack’s head exploding somehow teleport Yodelbooger to Caliborn’s Session? How else could he have gotten there?
It didn’t need to. Denizens can appear within multiple separate Sessions. They are totally different bandicoots.

What happened to the ghosts?
The ones sucked into the black hole probably didn’t make it. If any Dream Bubbles survived, they are sill populated with ghosts.

What about Davepeta?
Their fate was left ambiguous and open to interpretation. Davepeta was ‘alive’ (to whatever extent a Sprite^2 is alive) the last we knew, and was at or near ground zero when the juju went off, so it’s actually quite possible they struck the killing blow against Lord English.

What do Blood powers do?
Like many Aspect powers, they are left largely open to reader interpretation. However, they are addressed within canon here, here, and here (and those are only the three times that immediately come to mind, there may be more). There’s actually quite a bit to unpack from that, if you care to do so.

Ok so I had a kind of earthshattering revelation

It probably isn’t earthshattering, groundbreaking, or otherwise terrainshifting to anyone else because it seems really obvious in retrospect but OH WELL

I came up with this while pondering a post I wanted to write, so I’m going to write the original post anyway  then segue into the revelation bit later

Anyway, my initial thought was that I wouldn’t be surprised if Time players going a bit off (or very off) was the rule rather than the exception. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they’re what kills a lot of the failed sessions. It’s a lot of stress to handle. Your job is to die, over and over, for a group of players that are frequently unknowing or ungrateful. When you’re the Alpha, you have to live in a constant state of apprehension because at any moment, with any misstep, you could become a doomed iteration, and everything you are or were or could be blinks out like a broken lightbulb. You don’t matter, not anymore. Walking that tightrope is enough to make anyone snap.

I imagine even if you are the Alpha, the constant presence of doomed iterations must be stressful. It’s a ‘there go I but for the grace of God’ kind of thing - you’re sorry for them but glad it’s not you (but are they you?) and then angry at yourself for being glad - or at least that’s what my thought process would be, probably. I would be a terrible Time player. I’d think myself into a hole and then never crawl out of it. It must do some pretty weird things to your sense of self.

So I imagine there are lots of pitfalls a Time player could fall into.

You could overthink everything, try to make every moment perfect, reset at the first sign of trouble and leave an ever-growing pile of bodies behind. That’s the kind of Time player Dirk would be - as I was discussing with someone, what is his tendency to fragment but an attempt to be in many places at the same time, to be everywhere and make sure everything is perfect. Of course, you couldn’t do that forever. You’d burn out.

Or you could hedge yourself in with fears and cripple yourself, so afraid of making a wrong move and dooming a timeline that you do nothing at all - and of course only invite more disaster. Dave is dangerously close to that now.

You could disassociate yourself from your doomed copies in an effort to tolerate their constant deaths, telling yourself they’re not 'really real’. They’re just tools. But if you start that kind of dehumanizing thinking, it can spread. Why is anyone worth anything? That happened to Aradia, a bit. And Dave has shown some disturbing tendencies in this direction as well. (You may find this assertion surprising, but I can prove it, if you’d like. Or at least make a reasonably compelling case.)

Or you could get angry. You could wonder why this is your job, why all those ungrateful losers on your team deserve to be bailed out of their own messes with your life. You could stop trying to save them. You could look for a way out of the prison Skaia put you in. Damara took that path. You saw how it ended up.

And as I was considering all of this, especially Dave’s alarming hints of dehumanization, I think I figured out what his problem is and why he’s fighting time travel so hard right now. It’s the same problem he’s had since the very beginning, when he was trying to crack that stupid egg in half and it wasn’t hatching fast enough.

Because when he’s trying to fix everything with his own dead copies, when he has to destroy himself over and over again, or as Jade and the HIC suggest, use himself to destroy Lord English

he’s not being the Knight of Time.

He’s trying to be the Prince of Heart. 

“I have spent days trying to figure out what I want to say. I have crumpled up dozens of pieces of paper and disregarded even more ideas. I have thought about what I could say that might make people feel just a little bit better. But I have come to the realization that it really doesn’t matter what I say. Because there is nothing I can do to take away any of the pain and destruction I have caused. I absolutely loved my parents and had no reason to kill them. I had no reason to dislike, kill or try to kill anyone at Thurston. I am truly sorry that this has happened. I have gone back in my mind hundreds of times and changed one detail, one small event so this never would have happened. I wish I could. I take full responsibility for my actions. These events have pulled me down into a state of deterioration and self-loathing that I didn’t know existed. I am very sorry for everything I have done, and for what I have become.”

- Kip Kinkel’s (Thurston High school shooter) statement to the victims read in court before being sentenced to 111 Years in prison without the possibility of parole

I have spent days trying to figure out what I want to say. I have crumpled up dozens of pieces of paper and disregarded even more ideas. I have thought about what I could say that might make people feel just a little bit better. But I have come to the realization that it really doesn’t matter what I say. Because there is nothing I can do to take away any of the pain and destruction I have caused. I absolutely loved my parents and had no reason to kill them. I had no reason to dislike, kill or try to kill anyone at Thurston. I am truly sorry that this has happened. I have gone back in my mind hundreds of times and changed one detail, one small event so this never would have happened. I wish I could. I take full responsibility for my actions. These events have pulled me down into a state of deterioration and self-loathing that I didn’t know existed. I am very sorry for everything I have done, and for what I have become.

-Kip’s Statement to the victim’s


That time Last Week Tonight with John Oliver had a Skype interview with the author of A Song of Ice and Fire [x]

I also kind of love that Arya is the character John worries most about.

I’m wondering something. In 2x09, why did Annalise hand the gun to Connor first, as if she was sure that he, more than everyone else, would shoot her? I didn’t think it meant anything at the time but now I think there’s some deeper mystery surrounding Connor, especially after his talk with his abused client. I also read an article about it that said that maybe Connor wasn’t talking about Sam when he said he had already killed someone, too, because he didn’t actually kill Sam. That’d be interesting.
I think the show is gonna get to Connor’s backstory eventually and now I’m really looking forward to it, ‘cause we know a little about Asher, quite a lot about Wes, at least a bit about Michaela (we know she’s been adopted and hates her family), we have some context about Laurel’s past but we know NOTHING, nothing at all about Connor (except that he has a loving sister but that doesn’t help at all).

So I’ve finally hit 2k and it’s still an hour till it’s officially my birthday for me omg this is literally so amazing so here have another follow forever as my thanks.

Some awesome mutuals that I’ve had the privilege of befriending

@dropthebones || @todanhowell || @hcwell || @btsbff || @dantiloquent || @sarcasticphan || @sarcastichowell || @adorablehowell || @ohphil || @seasidephan || @dokidan || @callmeshinsenpai || @dankmemeshowell || @hester-lowell || @phunwithphan || @thorlester || @shingekihowell || @blossomphan || @glowinghowell || @phanbeans || @catastrophan || @starlighthowell || @internetcultleader || @lesterotic || @constipatedhowell || @asianellenpage || @fireworksphan || @phangirlingforphan || @shuu-min || @obyidiot || @sodafloating || @kimboxes || @luhyns || @tbhdanhowell || @philscats || @demisexualhowell || @uhphil || @sighphil || @nerdphan || @lessamazingphil || @cookiephil || @cringe-attacks ||

Several people whose creations are simply amazing

@phangirlingforphan || @cafephan || @phantheraglama || @dokidan || @phanbeans || @adorablehowell || @lester-psd || @dostmotherknowyou || @dantiloquent || @szluu || @philslesters || @mystywr1995 || @ochibana || @eating-sen || @callmeshinsenpai || @kimboxes || @phanlight || @philslesters || @elecocochoco || @szluu || @virulester || @lungwort ||

The squad

@phanbeans || @moreawkwardthanu || @eccentricbooks || @dorayaki-chan || @jiyongpng || @midnight-marionette || @krishan-honey ||

And of course to every single person that decided to click the follow button and have me polluting your dash with crap. You guys honestly make my day and I love you all so much~

A Snow, Regina, and Henry Meta Conversation

with @faithandfearcollide

We thought we’d talk a little about how these three characters interact in season 2.  Others are of course welcome into the conversation.

Starting in the Cricket Game I’d like to talk a bit about the reality that Snow encounters as she arrives back in Storybrooke and spends an extended time with and around Regina for the first time with her full memories.  We know that Henry told them all that Regina had saved them but Snow tells Emma “… she tried to kill us – yesterday!” meaning that Snow has chosen to disbelieve Henry because she actually has no other witness then Henry for what happened at that well.

My feeling has always been that Snow doesn’t trust Henry’s judgement about Regina because Snow feels like she was fooled not only as a child but as an adult by her.  I don’t have the gifs but I feel like Ginny plays looks to Henry as if pity.  Like she’s watching her own childhood repeat.

To me she doesn’t believe Regina here at all but some part of the back of her mind she wants to.  She just can’t make herself.  She’s been burned far too many times.  I think the show was sloppy about it, but I don’t actually think they were choosing blood over adoption, but rather it was Snow trying to protect Henry from being hurt by Regina just as she had.

And just a bonus I love this moment.

When did you find out about Robin’s fate?

January. It gave me a little time to process that because it came as a bit of a shock, as I’d only just been made a series regular that season and moved my family up there and everything, but that was the plan that Adam and Eddy had come up with, and my job as an actor is to serve the writing, serve what’s on the page, and that’s what I’ve always tried to do to the best of my ability.