CS AU Week - Day 1 (ish)

So if your fic has our heroes involved with an actual reality TV show and then takes some definite inspiration from a fictional TV show about a reality TV show that counts as a crossover, right? 

@bbjorgman and I had quite the chat about the fact that Bernard Curry was the host of Beauty and the Geek Australia for several seasons which resulted in Becka daring me to write the thing in honour of the impending birth of her beautiful little girl. Well bub is well and truly here, but I did get there eventually. The only knowledge I have of the BTS machinations of these shows is from watching UnReal so you get a little bit of that too. (Tell me Regina couldn’t be Quinn?? Of course she could)

Thanks to @spartanguard for my gorgeous banner (complete with actual host shot of the lovely Bernard) and for beta duties. 

~5000 words, rated T (for the odd swear word)

Nothing Like Reality (1 of probably 2)

He should have had a sense of impending doom. If not from the urgency of Liam’s summons to the mansion-turned-television studio that was to be his brother’s new workplace, then at least from the frantic pacing that greeted him when he pulled into the lot and parking space he had been directed to.

Liam had the air of one on the knife’s edge, a man whose very existence was hanging by a thread.

And yet Killian didn’t really see it coming.

“Quite the office you have here, big brother,” Killian said admiringly. Liam smiled briefly, worry still evident in his eyes as he led Killian to Craft Services and sat him down at an empty table.

“Yes, well, I wanted you to see it. Still a bit hard to believe I’ll be hosting my own show,” Liam said, “I know it’s not the most intellectual of concepts - pairing awkward blokes and attractive women in fairly ridiculous challenges, but it’s a step towards what I want.” Killian reached across to squeeze his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, Liam.” Liam covered Killian’s hand with his own, the tension gone for just a moment as they sat together.  

There was a barista-made coffee in Killian’s hand and a plateful of sugar-laden pastries in his reach before he realised this meeting was not actually an outpouring of brotherly love.

It was an ambush.

“Enjoying your summer vacation, Killian?”  Liam asked, eyes everywhere but on Killian’s. “Plenty of time on your hands?”

Killian stared at his older brother, forcing him to meet his gaze and finding only a thin sheen of panic in his eyes. “You know I have my book to work on during my summers, Liam.”

“Of course. Of course,” Liam said, checking the time none too subtly.

“Am I keeping you from something, mate?” Killian asked, guilt crossing Liam’s face before his shoulders drooped and he slumped in his seat. Killian eyed him anxiously. “Liam? What’s wrong?”

Liam sighed. “We’ve had a bit of a hitch in filming,” he began, scratching nervously behind his ear. Killian was immediately on alert - his brother’s nervous tic was one he had himself and he knew all too well that something was amiss. He raised an eyebrow expectantly. “One of our geeks pulled out at the eleventh hour - and there’s no time to vet someone new before filming starts on Tuesday.” The shift of his head upwards was slow and deliberate, his eyes meeting Killian’s, full of hope and desperation. “Unless you were to know them already, of course.”

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I really have an axe to grind with Beauty & The Geek Australia. I mean the show is hilarious but I’m missing every other word they are saying because of whatever they are speaking it is most certainly not english. To make matters worse, if one of them is reading this right now (I’m looking at you Jimmy) they probably didn’t even understand the idiom at the beginning of this.